Credit for image goes to Slovene band “Unicorns on Fire”. Thank you for being willing to depict trans people in their natural form despite their terrifying Space Gestapos!

Susan Wright, Blood Red State:
North Carolina Under Attack From the Left For Passage of House Bill 2

CONTENT WARNING: Transphobia… also sarcasm. Metric buttloads of sarcasm.

It’s been awhile since I’ve penned a post for this old site and it’s not only been because of the schedule demands of being a teacher, but also because of the cold march of time.

As bitter old white people complacent in their growing resistance to growing the fuck up are often fond of saying, becoming more conservative is simply a “natural” part of getting older. And now that I’ve gotten out of the echo-chamber SJW loony lefty pit for awhile, I’ve finally come to realize how true that statement is.

I mean, some people might instead note more and more the designed oppression and the reuse of ancient political appeals to fear as a call to political arms, but that’s for like… people who try and stuff and that sounds exhausting. Much better to avoid such old hyperbolic shorters as:

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

• Oh my fucking God, liberals, it’s like we can’t even ban some of you from taking a shit anymore without being labeled as “bigots” and “transphobes”. Intolerance, much?

But that’s the old me.

The old me would pen long diatribes about how House Bill 2 is part and parcel of a long-standing witch hunt against trans people and that this has been coming for awhile owing to the professional homophobes quickly realizing that the money is about to run out on the anti-gay-marriage racket and they need to find another acceptable target to put up front in the demonization. Or spout inane catch phrases like “IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION” to note how conservatives are one-note and perennially recycle their defenses of their obvious bigotry as being the real victims et al.

Old me might even be tempted into frequent distractions noting that this Eric Erickson lackey who has been unfortunate enough to take over for his site is not only a proud NC native and state’s rights “stalwart”, but also in charge of “Women’s Outreach” of the We Vote With God Campaign. Wherein she mostly pens reminders to “proper” Christian women to remind them that even though they are clearly brainless property who must defer in everything to their husband, that eternal promise to vote in lockstep with him or else be disobedient doesn’t just go away because he died. Remember, ladies, we’re servants, not people.

Whereas new me recognizes the transient nature of my humanity and has moved past my “reflexive liberal anger” and crippling “unfairness” and nasty reliance on such tropes as sarcasm to instead see this whole affair as the mean trampling of free speech that it is.

And this is because… er… um… actually Susan, why don’t you lead us off here. You are far more eloquent to me owing to your much larger and more nuanced conservative mind.

Coerce – verb co·erce \k?-??rs\

: to make (someone) do something by using force or threats
: to get (something) by using force or threats

Holeee fucking shit, a dictionary definition! Yeah, my tiny little lady brain could never have thought as something as clearly demonstrative as noting the dictionary definition of coercion. Ipso facto, liberals are the real fascists, Jonah Goldberg was right. The Earth is flat. People are really unicorns from space!

While the act of coercion is not a foreign concept in the contact sport of politics, none wield it with such ruthless disregard for the public as those on the left of the political spectrum. There is no depth they will not sink to, in order to force total subservience to their worldview.

That’s true. I remember, when I worked for the Liberal Black Ops how I would regularly lock up proud conservative men in tiny cramped cells in a “foreign” prison in Cuba to avoid international law, subjecting them to all manner of “enhanced interrogations” to make them comply with liberal dogma. I’d even regularly submerge them in water and make them think they were drowning until they acquiesced to submit to me and provide sick confirmation to my Stalin-esque demands to be “left the fuck alone” “especially when I’m just trying to shit” and “just treat me like a fucking person or at least stop being a dick about it”.

Really there was no depth I did not sink to as part of our feverish demand of total subjugation of humanity.

Whether it takes lawsuits to shut down Christian businesses that refuse to bend their principles and participate in events that violate their religious beliefs,

Suing people who break civil laws? Because that’s the only way to enforce them? How draconic we have become.

Please tell me we haven’t committed the greatest sin of all, spending our money how we want to and using our free speech to speak out against laws and companies that hurt us!

or it takes boycotts and threats of financial ruin on an entire state, in order to enforce their will on the people of that state, the political left and their Democrat attack dogs have no reservations about the havoc they inflict.

Oh my word, what savages are we! Oh lamentations at what horrors my brethren have wrought.

Ruin?

Apocalyptic ruin upon an entire state, engulfing it in our fiery breath, incinerating people in their homes as we sail on our big wings and…

One sec, just got a word from the phone that I was just describing dragons rather than trans people, sorry about that.

But trans people and their allies are talking about maybe not spending money in a state where they or their friends aren’t allowed to take a shit without presenting a birth certificate and that’s almost as bad!

Earlier this week, North Carolina’s governor, Pat McCrory, signed North Carolina House Bill 2 into law, after an emergency session of the NC General Assembly voted and passed the bill overwhelmingly in both the NC House and Senate.

Distressingly… I mean heroically fast! It went from being introduced in committee to being signed by the governor. Why it passed so fast I’m sure almost no one had a chance to reaaaaaaa- anyways, what plans do you all have for the summer?

But seriously, it was passed overwhelmingly! And that’s something. Sure, Democratic State Senators literally left the building in protest, but after they were gone it was an unanimous decision showing all the overwhelming support and happiness to pass this law, which among other things:

1) Restricts the minimum wage to the State minimum wage and prevents any city raising it above that.

2) Weakens child labor laws.

3) Supersedes city non-discrimination ordinances for LGBT individuals, meaning that any private or public institution is allowed to discriminate and cannot install any prohibitions on said discrimination even if that runs afoul of national laws or Title IX.

4) Intentionally singles out trans women as predators just looking to molest “your” (read property of white men) women and children while they are protected from your ever-watchful gaze by the cruel plastic sheen of the triangle-skirted “Girls” sign.

5) Is so illegal. I mean, holy fuck is this probably going to go down in flames it is so illegal, but that doesn’t mean life isn’t going to suck for awhile until that works its way through the courts.

And that’s not… er… um… Susan? Help please. I’m trying to be a good drone but you’re making this shit really hard to defend.

The law, called the Public Facilities Privacy and Security Act,

See it’s about privacy and security. You all like privacy and security, right? Like when the government tries to force Apple to make their phones less secure and private so that they can break into a terrorist’s (but it’s okay, you guys, this time he’s brown) phone without y’know having to spend all week on it.

Yeah, the nice governor was just trying to protect us… from something…

was in response to a Charlotte, NC ordinance making public bathrooms sex-neutral,

Whaaaaaat! But sex is not a neutral, sex is a drive, baby! How dare they force speed demon sex into a neutral box, that’s mis-gearing!

in order to allow those who identified as a gender other than that on their birth certificates to use the bathroom or locker room of their choice.

TRANS PEOPLE! In your bathroom!

Like, y’know, how they already do, but now without all the desperate scared ducking into the stall as fast as they can because the giant spike of anxiety is no longer outweighing the need to not pee their pants for the fourth time this week.

Isn’t this as inherently terrifying to you as it is to us?

The prevailing concern with the public was that it posed a security threat,

Damn straight, once trans people can poop and pee in peace without facing government sponsored harassment and enjoy such cruel security threats as retaining their jobs and not being thrown out of their apartments simply for being trans, well… Do I even need to spell out how that would personally deliver the launch codes and targeting systems of our nation’s ballistic missiles straight to ISIL leaders?

It’s just self-evident!

since the only requirement is that somebody say they felt like a different gender. The ordinance was so broadly worded that the potential to be taken advantage of by individuals with less than innocent motives was great.

Sorry, sorry, that was my B. I jumped the gun there. Of course it’s not about national security, that’s just silly and would make this argument sound absolutely inane and stupid.

No, no, we need this law because of the hypothetical threat of someone going to all the effort of presenting themselves as another gender and inviting transphobic violence all to carefully navigate the laser-screenings of our vigilant plastic sign, unlocked door defense system!

I mean, they could sneak inside and see… LEGS! Legs that may in fact hint that there might be a bare bottom pressed up against a toilet seat and pooping. And everyone knows that images and sights of naked people are so hard to find on the internet, that dressing like a woman and sneaking around on your hands and knees in the small intervals between people entering and leaving is the only way you could possibly see naked bits.

And… one sec, I’m being informed that that is also a silly misnomer. It’s actually about the simple fact that trans women are actually just men pretending to be women in order to rape women and children in bathrooms.

I mean, let us look at this video from a totally not hate group:

See, it’s a legitimate fear. I mean, after all, there have already been untold numbers of cases from states that have these ordinances in place or places that are unable to install more than one bathroom. That’s why, the count of cross-dressing rapists in women’s bathrooms has skyrocketed to an overwhelming… zero incidents…

Um… that’s kinda bullshit and… no, new Cerberus, avoiding the trap of seeing bigotry where there clearly isn’t. I mean, just because it hasn’t ever happened, because of course, why would it, it’s a fucking open door, and most rapists are the types of fucks who bristle at their masculinity being questioned or impugned in any way, which is why marginalized groups like trans people are much more likely to be targeted for harassment, violence, and sexual assault in bathrooms…

Just because all of that is true, doesn’t mean it couldn’t one day be true. I mean, supporters of said bills have raped people in bathrooms albeit, while dressed as men, but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen. After all, people who rape people in bathrooms would know a lot about the type of people who rape people in bathrooms.

And sure, silly liberals with their “facts” and “objective reality” might make absurd claims that the care about potential future hypothetical rapes is a little hard to swallow at the same time as states like NC have been destroying their rape kits rather than testing them. And where rape is so unpunished in society that judges frequently yell at survivors who come forth with their rapes for not fitting the preconceived idea of “victim” he has in his head.

But really, who can worry about all the actual rapes, actual people have actually been committing, when we can worry about the hypothetical rapes marginalized people are hypothetically doing all the time. It’s just like in Cologne. Just because something isn’t true doesn’t mean we can’t all have a good freakout about it as it allows us to couch our bigotry in the language of protecting white pieces of property. Y’know, like we did during segregation to justify all those… hey, let’s all enjoy these fruits from the poplar tree instead of thinking about those parallels. Heh heh.

And I mean, just because it isn’t true and this law is both unenforceable and quite illegal, doesn’t mean we can’t use the animosity from it to increase the amount of violence trans and gender-non-conforming people face in bathrooms around the country. I mean, if you don’t beat up that trans woman just trying to run to a stall to pee, she may hypothetically rape your hypothetical future in the hypothetical future where she is allowed to simply exist without constantly fearing for her life, safety, employment, and housing.

And that’s terrible!

Really, hypothetical trans people, you should be ashamed for how you’ve made such a bad name for us real trans people in this tiny enclave known as reality. It’s rather distasteful!

Now begins the great wailing and gnashing of teeth by those social justice warriors

Social Justice Warr~iors, come out and plaaaa~aay!

No, that will never stop being the thing I hear any time these sad sacks try and make SJW some scary thing. For fuck’s sake, you know who complains about social justice warriors all the time? Supervillains.

Lex Luthor, Joker, Reverse Flash, Circe, Darkseid. Comic book supervillains rant about that sort of shit and every attempt by conservatives to try and go, but no, you don’t understand they do it in a really uppity way that makes my feelings feel attacked because they are censoring my twitter checkmark or paid university appearance just makes it that much more sad and out-of-phase with reality…

Is what I would say if I was still old Cerberus… heh heh. C’mon, help a sister out, you’re killing me out here.

of the left, far and wide. House Bill 2 is being pushed as an “anti-LGBT” bill,

Sure, we’re removing all legal protections from being fired from your job or removed from your home simply because of your sexuality and gender identity and banning some of you from using the bathroom legally without flashing a birth certificate. Even if both you and others would agree you don’t quite look comfortable being where ignorant lawmakers think you should be based on some bullshit Assigned at Birth Sex = Destiny crap…

But that’s not anti-LGBT! That’s… um… “tough… love”…?

(Oh c’mon, how the fuck are you going to defend this shit as not anti-LGBT. The whole point of the fucking law was to intentionally take a shit on the LGBT community in order to energize your shitlord base to turn up in the next election. Hell, the FRC wrote the fucking thing for you-)

suggesting that the bill somehow outlaws LGBT citizens. If you listen to North Carolina Democrats, Governor McCrory has commissioned jack booted thugs to storm homes in the middle of the night and drag away our LGBT loved ones to labor camps.

Oh right, of course. Hyperbole solves everything.

Sure, people no unsure of where they are legally allowed to pee in their schools, courthouses, and public buildings thanks to out-of-touch old cis white men might assume they are being targeted for rather intentional animus and discrimination, what with being publicly told they are child molesters the rest of the state must be protected from, but…

It’s not like we’re literally dragging you trannies out into the street and shooting you in the head… yet.

So what the fuck are you complaining about?

I mean, for fucks sake, you all regularly risk UTIs and chronic dehydration in your goals of holding it in all day so you never have to use a public restroom. Just keep doing that forever while also allowing us to uncritically argue you are evil sex offenders everyone should be scared of at sight thus justifying your already staggeringly high murder rate and we’ll all be fine.

Fuck, you diseased deluded space unicorns with lasers for beaks are just so sensitive about this kind of shit. It’s really unprofessional and smacks of reverse transphobia.

What North Carolina Democrats and the carpetbagging leftists across the country

Yeah, that isn’t a dog whistle to how 1850s your mind still is and where these types of laws are coming from. Golleejeepers fellow confederates, we need to stops them carpetbaggers takin’ away our slaveries and our man/woman bathroom signs over the outhouses!

What? Aren’t I supposed to be defending this tripe? No, fuck that noise. They’re saying that I’m a fucking risk to everyone I go into a bathroom with, after a lifetime of doing everything I can to avoid that unmitigated hell that is the public restroom. And this is just the first. And maybe none of these stand for long, but holy shit will the fallout be awful. Already it is nigh impossible to hold a legal job as a trans people, once bigot bosses feel even more empowered to argue it is a “safety concern” for their workers to hire or retain a trans people, how bad will it get?

And the murder rate is already too high and climbing, how bad will it get once low-information fucks get it in their head that they’ll be lauded as heroes when they bash some poor trans-woman-of-color’s head against a sink? And how bad will it get for trans teachers?

Not to be all self-centered or anything, but I’m already well aware of how the automatic “trans people = sex” “sex+children = !” calculus affects how people regard trans teachers like me. So how bad will it get now that every bigot feels they’ve got a Republican Party Platform supported argument about how their child is in threat because I exist?

This shit is part and parcel of a modern GOP that heralds Trump as the second-coming of Asshole Jesus and it’s toxicity will be far-reaching and will not be contained to whatever state has enough gerrymandering to squeak shit through.

And it’s just getting scarier and scarier every year as the fundraising campaigns whir into gear. Already, Kansas wants to pass a version of this bill wherein random citizens are deputized to earn themselves a fat 2500 dollar stack for “reporting” on a suspected “trans” using the “wrong” facilities.

Combine that with the escalating violence against black americans just wanting to no longer be hunted by their cops for sport or for speaking out against Trump or the increasing demonization of latin@s and muslims in this country and it starts to crack through the sarcasm a little and just make one… well, genuinely frightened.

That’s not funny. That’s just true.

So fuck this sort of shit. Let’s just eviscerate this sad excuse making for the travesty it is.

don’t remind citizens is that McCrory, who is now being labeled Enemy #1, has already ceded ground in this fight, siding with Democrats in March of 2015, in opposing a religious freedom bill that would have protected public officials who refused to perform gay weddings, based on religious objections.

But, but, but, liberals, our governor already was forced to give up on one discredited bill that would invite lawsuits because of how discriminatory it was and so we’re going to pretend that’s compromise and thus you owe giving us what we originally wanted but infinitely worse and hiding behind some fig leaf demonization of “scary trans people”.

Fair?

McCrory, at that time, stated that the wording made no sense, as written. He also said no further protections were needed, and that it was time for North Carolina’s citizens to learn to accept each other. McCrory’s veto was ultimately overturned by the NC House and Senate, but it came with stiff requirements for those officials who expressed religious objections.

So he and the Republicans passed a discriminatory bill and now has passed yet another discriminatory bill… which means…

These are hardly the words or actions of a man bent on persecuting or discriminating against a select group of people.

Yup, got it in one. No one who was hell bent on persecuting or discriminating against a select group of people would regularly pass or encourage bills that discriminate against a select group of people, while saying things like:

“The basic expectation of privacy in the most personal of settings, a restroom or locker room, for each gender was violated by government overreach and intrusion by the mayor and city council of Charlotte. This radical breach of trust and security under the false argument of equal access not only impacts the citizens of Charlotte but people who come to Charlotte to work, visit or play. This new government regulation defies common sense and basic community norms by allowing, for example, a man to use a woman’s bathroom, shower or locker room.”

Does that sound like the words of a bigot who doesn’t accept trans people’s genders and instead views them as some sort of horrifying existential threat and object of fear?

Don’t answer that question.

None of that matters in this culture war, however. The battleground has been established, and compromise for the sake of peace is not on any leftist agenda.

For fuck’s sake, just join up already.

I mean, you fetishize the military so goddamn much. War on drugs, NRA fantasies about saving your family from hordes of thugs stealing your white woman property, “culture wars”, no surrender, militia men, blah de blah.

Put up or shut up. Join the army, go to Afghanistan and Iraq, get shot at by ISIL and come home to a huge gaggle of your kin ranting about how you receiving treatment for the PTSD and bullet holes is socialism or fucking put away your fucking deathsticks masquerading as toys, grow the fuck up, and admit that you are living in boring as fuck suburban hell and that vicariously living through some Call of Duty fantasy of being a warrior makes you just beneath contempt.

They demand fealty without question, and anything less than total abandonment of tradition at the altar of secular humanism is unacceptable.

Do ye worship at the altar of the Darwin?

Yea, my liege, but he does not genefluct at the shrine of gender identity.

Oh well, off with his head. Anyone who loves their parent or tradition more than me is not worthy of a functioning society.

North Carolina’s Democrat party, rather than act to enlighten their ranks about the realities of HB2, have joined with outsiders in ridiculing and attacking the government, and the people of North Carolina as “bigoted” and simpleminded.

Which is not fair. It’s not like they elected for a government that thought that banning trans people from restrooms was at all sustainable and heeeeeey, that’s not fair.

They see the threats of outside special interest groups against their own state as a convenient cudgel for forcing compliance to their worldview.

So far:

Director Rob Reiner (You know… “Meathead” from “All in the Family”) has called for a boycott of the movie industry in North Carolina, in order to force compliance to the LGBT agenda.
Ed Lee, mayor of San Francisco, CA has banned publicly funded employee travel to North Carolina.
The NBA and the Carolina Hurricanes hockey team have issued statements against what they deem a “discriminatory” bill.
MoveOn.org is pushing a petition to have Governor McCrory impeached.

Oh noes, social consequences for passing laws? What Orwellian nightmare is this? Next they’ll be trying to block us from taking shits in our own restrooms!

Make no mistake, there are consequences to be paid when an official does not bow to the agenda of the left.

Indeed, you may be called a bigot or have a handful of public individuals say, yeah, no we’re not giving our money to that anymore.

Which is (sob) really unfair y’know? I mean, it’s not like these laws affect real people or anything. Can’t we systematically demonize an oppressed population without everyone getting all uppity about it?

There is no sense of unity as countrymen or the grace of mutual acceptance.

Yeah, where’s the sense in unity in acknowledging that a portion of our countrypeople are diseased sex offenders from Voltron 9 that we must systematically block from public facilities in order to protect our children?

Really, it’s you trans people who are being divisive, right now!

There is only total surrender to the way of social justice and the “feel good” agenda that often overrides anything resembling commonsense.

Governor McCrory’s office released a convenient checklist of facts about the bill, in the wake of the left’s onslaught of outrage.

Indeed he has. It’s an impressive tableu of grade-a horseshit that’s fooling exactly as many people as there are rapists disguising themselves as trans people to sneak into bathrooms and locker rooms.

Nothing about the bill encourages discrimination, and it even allows for private businesses to have whatever bathroom policy they feel comfortable with.

It doesn’t encourage discrimination, why it even allows private businesses to opt out of discrimination. No, these don’t feel like contradictory statements to me, why do you ask?

One of the questions answered about HB2 states:

Can private businesses, if they choose, continue to allow transgender individuals to use the bathroom, locker room or other facilities of the gender they identify with, or provide other accommodations?

Answer: Yes. That is the prerogative of private businesses under this new law. For instance, if a privately-owned sporting facility wants allow attendees of sporting events to use the restroom of their choice, or install unisex bathrooms, they can. The law neither requires nor prohibits them from doing so.

And if say, a public university wanted to do the same, say to aid its transgender students or so that they wouldn’t lose out on Title IX funding because of some assholes in the state government. Or say a city overwhelmingly voted for non-discrimination ordinances for its public city workers?

Oh, right, a question like that kinda just gives away the whole game, don’t it?

We are very much in the days where good is called evil and evil is called good.

But enough about Trump’s election campaign.

This “tolerance” of the left is nothing but intolerance of everyone else.

You say it’s “incompatible” to reconcile our right to approbate and truncate the rights of trans people with the rights of so-called trans people to so-called exist without so-called removal of their basic human rights.

We just say, you’re bigot-phobic. What do you say about that? Checkmate, liberals.

We are in a war against cultural Marxism,

Hello, neo-nazi dogwhistle. I’m so much loving the 4chanization of the right wing. I mean, who isn’t excited for Kristallnacht Zwei, now with more casual slurs and Pepe memes.

so we’d better close ranks and guard our flank,

Ha, ha, anal rape joke. Keep it classy, fucknuggets. Keep it classy.

lest we be overcome. Our enemy is ruthless and the battle rages on.

Our suburbs could be overwhelmed by maybe our child going to school with someone who bravely tries to live as themselves rather than quietly killing themselves with a kitchen knife assuming that the world will hate and destroy them for being honest about who they are. Or that happening to our own kids.

Thus, we must brutalize individuals with no power to fight back so that we feel better about being sad scared pathetic pieces of shit who can’t get it up in the morning without fantasizing about going to “war” with an enemy so non-threatening they can’t even get the government to give them a hall pass to go to the fucking bathroom.

Because maybe this time, the cold dark arc of time will cheer and say, yes, you got it right, this was the marginalized community whose acceptance would have destroyed everything.

Or maybe no one will ever construct a statue in honor of that time you told people where they couldn’t poop.

But hey, given your love of bullshit, I’m sure you’ll love the line of trans government workers coming to your front lawn to take a dump seeing as how that’s the only place you think they should.

But on that note, fuck North Carolina. Fuck this cynical animus. Fuck this election cycle. And fuck people like Pat McCrory.

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‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. It turns out that ranting on the internet about bullshit is how I sustain the cold black mess that is a replacement for my heart. Who knew? We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

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