The Weak Tea Rebellion

In the ongoing shit show that is the occupation of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge, the last four holdouts have livestreamed the final hours of their quixotic pointless and boneheaded quest to light off the second American revolution. It was more pathetic than I ever thought possible. Nevada legislator and gun rights calendar model Michele Fiore tried her level best to interfere with the FBI negotiations, engaging in a lengthy phone conversation with the occupiers and offering to “lead them to safety”, I assume “safety” meaning “towards the news cameras in the best possible lighting”. Noted televangelist Franklin Graham, Billy Graham’s more political son, has also volunteered to cover himself in publicity by negotiating with the occupiers. But in the best news I’ve heard in days, Cliven Bundy, the Nevada rancher, bigot and tax cheat that inspired this whole fiasco has been arrested in the Portland airport where he was on his way to join up with the remaining occupiers. He is being charged offenses related to both the current standoff and the one at his ranch last year. source:

For a deliberately ignorant and boneheaded review of the occupation, you could turn to Kimberly Fletcher at “The Blaze”
I mean seriously:

I find it interesting that the occupiers of the refuge were labeled as militants while the occupiers of Wall Street were simply “protestors.”

I will spell it out for her in small words. The Occupy movement, and the Black Lives Matter movement are unarmed and want reform and accountability. That makes them nonviolent protesters. The boneheads in Malheur are armed to the teeth and talking about coups, and revolution. That makes them militants. It the weapons and embrace of military rhetoric and tactics that makes them “militants”. They are militants because they self identify as a militia.

Yesterday I realized that this movement could be compared to the Luddite revolts of the early 1800s. There, skilled weavers and spinners revolted against factories and factory owners whose output meant that the craft these professionals used to feed their families was effectively worthless, and without income they faced eviction and starvation. Ranchers and their political allies had depended on BLM policies that ignored any kind of environmental considerations for the land which it leased out to ranchers, miners and other extraction industries. I think the “new” (most of which date back to the 1970s) environmental rules, while more burdensome than the previous BLM policy of “feh, whatever”, wouldn’t even be a big deal if there hadn’t been 40+ years of free trade agreements to accompany them. I seriously doubt many ranchers would care if they could only run X number of cattle on their allotment if that X number gave them anything like the return they used to be able to get before they had to compete with beef from South America. Even so, “the government” and “the BLM” are convenient scapegoats for every factor that has made ranching less powerful politically and less profitable in places where it has traditionally been the largest industry.

Let’s remember that “ranchers” are being used as a proxy for every person or company that wants to get its hands on free government land. Despite being relatively big deals at the local level, there really isn’t enough money in ranching to get the kind of legislative support they receive. That money comes from extraction industries like mining and oil drillers and fracking companies, that stand to make billions if they can get the feds to give up its ownership of millions of acres of western land. It would not surprise me if some people hang on to unprofitable ranches solely for the value of the minerals and water beneath the ground in anticipation of the day when a republican administration lets them buy the land for pennies on the dollar. The ranchers are only the most photogenic of the groups that want to hoover up federal land, mining and other extraction industries don’t get the same kind of nostalgic preferential treatment from the public.


Comments: 35


This is the way the shitshow ends,
This is the way the shitshow ends,
This is the way the shitshow ends,
Not with a bang but a livestream.


As April Ludgate said, “Somebody punch someone!”


You are dead on the money–the romantic “ranchers” are the window-dressing, and probably for the most part dupes of the real players, such as the Kochs. It’s certainly pretty easy to see “dupe” in the distracted gaze of any of the Bundys. They are as clueless a bunch as can be imagined, leading the clueless. The last guy surrendered after one last cookie? WTF!


I didn’t call them “militants.” The correct word is “terrorists.”

The bonus in this theater of the absurd is Cliven Bundy asking for a court appointed attorney. A public defender. Because it says right there in the Consatooshun!, just above “armed insurrectionists are entitled to use public properties for personal gain at the expense of the people” that “armed insurrectionist thieves shall not be required to pay for their defense from the money they stole from the people but are entitled to steal some more money from the public in the form of a taxpayer funded civil servant attorney.”


“Militants” is too polite for these gun-totin’ boneheads, I prefer “putschists”.


These are ARMED white male Christian domestic terrorist exercising their white privilege NOT to be brutalized, maimed or killed by LEO/US government.

A “right” NOT afforded “other” AMERICANS aka people of color …armed or unarmed!


Well, things are going to get REEEEAAAAL interesting now.

Antonin Scalia dead at 79.


zomg. I hate to be happy over anyone’s death, but of all the Supremes, I’m glad it was Nino.


If they don’t fill the spot before November (a bad idea considering the Roberts Court’s tendency for 5-4 decisions) – imagine the possibilities from a Trump nomination! He’d probably run it as a reality TV show, with the audience eliminating potentials week by week. The next Supreme Court justice might be Tila Tequila. zomg.


“I hate to be happy over anyone’s death, but of all the Supremes, I’m glad it was Nino.”

I have doubts that it was natural causes; I think he was doing some Opus Dei immiseration routine and it killed him.

The GOPsters will try to block any nomination because they don’t want another Judge Sotomayor…’s becoming a perfect storm for US politics.

May you find whatever misery drove you, Antonin Scalia.


Ooo! We can decide which cases get heard by calling in!
They could call it “America’s Got Standing!”!!


I say Tequila is a good substitute for Scalia!


Thank you for crystallizing the idea that was tickling my brain about the something for nothing ‘ranchers’. Trojan horse dressed as nostalgia just like ADM and their ilk pretend to be farmers.


<i.zomg. I hate to be happy over anyone’s death, but of all the Supremes, I’m glad it was Nino.



I live in the Tulare Valley in Cali. Everyone here I know agrees with that.


The Bundy Gang would have you believe that the complex rules pertaining to public lands just fell out of the sky yesterday, with all their infringin’ on the natural rights of God’s Own Ranchers. The reality is that these rules and regulations have been hammered out over decades of back and forth between the government and various stakeholders (including ranchers). The balancing of these various interests means that nobody gets every last thing they want out of public lands.

There’s a procedure in place for changing things, but once again, nobody gets it all their own way. The ranchers and the government and the outdoor enthusiasts and the environmentalists and others all get to chip in their two cents’ worth over any changes to the current system. The Bundys don’t want to do that; they want everything their own way.

I hope Cliven, Ammon, Ryan and the rest of the gang get the best defense possible, the fairest trial the country has ever seen, and at the end of it all, if they’re found guilty, I hope the judge throws the book at each and every one of them.


Militants? Who, us? Just because of these assault rifles and 30 round magazines and the vest with slots holding many more 30 round magazines? Why, this is just a totemistic thing, a marker of tribal identity! Like the Sikhs with their knives, or English band managers with their cricket bats!


The fact is, you liberals are the enemas of freedom and the USA. When we take are country back from you and teh terrerists like Obama, your Boy, we will makre sure we use our second amenment rights against you.


Gary, you punk-ass chump, w/ your “second amenment rights” you couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn if you were inside it.


Glad to see the SadlyNaughts are still in business!

The news about Nino made my whole Monday turn into sunshine. I’m still happy about it.

The news about the Ammosexuals in Malheur abandoning their lube and dildos gave me a sad.

News that each one of the Bundy gang seems to be facing 16 felonies EACH is even better.

Good times.


Fiddlin Bill, the only way it could have been better is if they’d gotten the last Gucci cowboy out of the building by leaving a trail of cookies leading to a large box held up by a single stick.


When we heard the News about Fat Tony Teh Ho and I did a little happy dance.


Me too, Pup.


Headline: Justice Scalia Lies In Repose At Supreme Court

Adding “In Repose” to a recycled old headline is Hollywood sequel mania style lack of creativity, those lazy fucks.


holy crap, i’ve been meaning to get over here since i heard about scalia…finally got my chance tonight, only to be greeted by this delight:

This is the way the shitshow ends,
This is the way the shitshow ends,
This is the way the shitshow ends,
Not with a bang but a lifestream.

sheer asssomeness! this has been quite a week–first scalia, and then i won a war of wits about ‘why does poopie head obama have to be such a meanie about mitch when he wanted to block a nominee in 2007?’, then i saw a bald eagle, up close walking in a ditch–sucker was huge! tonight hubbkf and i observed the space station AND i finally located orion’s belt.

i see fake gary has gone full-on redneck on us, but it’s good to be back!


and in other news, south dakota must not feel *south* enough as they amp up in their race to the bottom:

South Dakota is one signature away from becoming the first state in the country to enact a law that would bar transgender students from using bathrooms, locker rooms and shower facilities of the gender with which they identify if it doesn’t correspond with their biological sex.

The South Dakota Senate approved the bill Tuesday on a 20-15 vote, moving it to Republican Gov. Dennis Daugaard’s desk for his approval. Daugaard has said the measure seems like a good idea and plans to research the issue and listen to recorded testimony before making up his mind on whether to make the bill law.

here’s the money quote from gov. daugaard:

The Republican governor also said as far as he was aware he hadn’t met a transgender person and likely wouldn’t do so before deciding on the measure so as to ensure objectivity in his decision.

so…he has never met any cis people either? to keep his…objectivity?


Thanks heaps!

I now dare hope to morph my way up by dint of perserverance from asssomeness to assmuchness – perhaps as early as my 40,000,000th birthday.

Wish me luck!


Lawyers, Guns and Money had a good wrap-up on the whole Malheur siege a couple days ago:

The money quote came from the comments:

I think that the broader point that a lot of activists made at the beginning and middle of the standoff, that if these had been armed Muslims, or armed African Americans, they would have been wiped out in a hail of gunfire almost on day 1, remains 100% true. And this doesn’t mean that the FBI should have been more violent with the Bundy clan; rather, it points out that your race and religion still play a pretty important part in determining the outcome of encounters with law enforcement.

Yep. I think the feds carried this thing out beautifully. If this could be the standard for how all militant groups out there are treated, not just those of the white right wing persuasion, we’d be in good shape.


Reading about LaVoy Finicum’s desire to spark an armed uprising that would sweep the country makes me a hell of a lot less conflicted about his death.

He wanted major bloodshed, thankfully, he was the only one to ‘crimson up’ the snow.


He wanted to have the cops kill him badly, and his wish was granted.


LaVoy Finicum left me his big purple dildo. What a great guy!


Expect not to hear much from Gary; he’ll be in his bunk.


Seb! If you can hear us, tap twice!


Love this blog… kinda sad updates aren’t as frequent as they used to be.


I just read this over at slate (don’t judge me) in a william sale tan piece:

The delusion that Obama caused Trump has been building since last year. This week, it reached the last bastion of rationality on the right: New York Times columnist Ross Douthat. Douthat has a long track record of fairness and good sense. When the madness infects even him, it’s time to clear the air.


ya know, that 5 or 6 miles between my house and south dakota is NOT NEARLY ENOUGH


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