This thing, Let’s Do It

Before I descend into the fevered swamps of asshattery looking for examples of magnificent examples of how the recent spate of church burnings have nothing to do with racism or terror, and everything to do with faulty electrical installation, or lightning, I figure a little sugar with the medicine is in order.

Via Gawker.

Fucking awesome!!! And on a similar note, I hope Cerberus killed it during the pride sporting competitions.

Before we get to the gristle let us view in awe and respect the opening to something in “the Hill” written by one cat with the surname Budowsky discovered on the frontpage of memeorandom:

Nothing better dramatizes the damage that President Obama has done to Democrats than the fact that Republicans now control the House of Representatives, the Senate and a majority of governorships across America.

Yeah he did that. Reminding myself that he probably got paid for it will only further to ruin my day.

Anyway, on to random sparks hitting African American Churches built out of the bark of the birch tree and the tar of pine.

Three of the attacks in Tennessee, Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina and Ohio have been confirmed to be arson, while the other three are under investigation, though the Southern Poverty Law Center believes this many church fires so close to one another “may not be a coincidence.”

One might be inclined to agree, if that one might be me…

On Monday, the College Hills Seventh Day Adventist Church in Knoxville was burned down when, according to church sources, someone stacked bales of hay against the door and then lit them.

On Tuesday, the God’s Power Church of Christ in Macon, Georgia, was hit by fire, and while authorities say it has the usual indicators of arson, they are still investigating.

On Wednesday, the Briar Creek Road Baptist Church in Charlotte, North Carolina, was hit by fire that authorities are sure was arson but have not yet released their evidence to show it.

On Wednesday, the Fruitland Presbyterian Church in Gibson County, Tennessee, also caught fire, and investigators have not yet ruled out arson.

On Friday, the Glover Grove Missionary Baptist Church in Warrenville, South Carolina, caught fire, and authorities have not yet announced whether or not it was arson.

On Saturday, the College Heights Baptist Church in Elyria, Ohio, caught fire, and authorities are still investigating the cause.

There was a seventh church fire, the Greater Miracle Temple in Tallahassee, Florida, but it is likely the fire was caused by a tree falling on power lines.

Speculators might conclude that a race war has indeed been started by that whitepower gunslinger who shot nine to death in Charleston. They would be wrong, as the recent events are simply the extension of a race war that has been transpiring in this country since 1609, when the first Africans arrived on these hallowed shores of a land not yet called America.

 

Comments: 4

 
 
 

W’all, shoot, with all that fire, there has to be lightning, and where there’s lightning, why, goodness gracious, there’s our Dear Lard in Heaven.

An’ don’t we all know that Gawd works in mysterious ways his pure white Christian Bible to reveal.

Jus’ don’t call it Jewish Lightning, `kay?

 
 

Awwww, I miss Cerb.

 
 

When you said:

“Before we get to the gristle let us view in awe and respect the opening to something in “the Hill” written by one cat with the surname Budowsky discovered on the frontpage of memeorandom:

Nothing better dramatizes the damage that President Obama has done to Democrats than the fact that Republicans now control the House of Representatives, the Senate and a majority of governorships across America.

Yeah he did that. Reminding myself that he probably got paid for it will only further to ruin my day.”

I was confused by the proliferation of pronouns…when you say “Yeah, he did that.” who is HE and what did he do?

Who got paid, and for what?

I feel sure you aren’t saying the Obama was paid by the Chamber of Commerce to tank the interim elections, are you?

So help me out here and explain what you are trying to say in more careful Englisn prose without unintelligible pronouns.

Thankx,
JR

 
 

Appreciate the backhanded compliment JR. The “he” in question would be the author of the piece, and the person who “probably got paid” would be the same person.

…more careful Englisn prose without unintelligible pronouns.”

This, in itself, is a work of brilliance.

Occasionally comments get elevated to the front page, and subject to the appropriate abuse…

 
 

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