King and Kinder

This one happened a little while ago. We know that Missouri is the current Hot Tub of Racial conviviality and they have a Lieutenant Governor whose pointed finger has legendary aim. Between this guy and Rush Limbuagh, Missouri has a lot with which to be proud.

kinder-file-03

If this guy does not possess advanced degrees in Whitespaination, I don’t know who else might make the cut…

“There is more racism in the Justice Department than there is in anywhere I see in the St. Louis area,” said Kinder, who is a Republican.

He added that he thinks the Justice Department is staffed by “hard-left radical leftist lawyers.”

Dude needs to step off! Hyperbole is my turf! But seriously the guy might be on to something if the value for racism equals having a black guy in charge.

Next we have the King of Iowa who gets to Whitesplain Jewy Jew stuff to the Jew traitors who are not “‘merican” enought in supporting our 51st state, who fail to demonstrate sufficiant fealty to the Capital of the United States of Iowa, Tel Aviv…Or something, I am not really sure.

If you told me that King, while on a bender, raided Palin’s Garage and absconded with her WordSaladShooter™ I would believe you

“Well, there were some 50 or so Democrats that, that decided they would boycott the president’s speech,” King said. “Here’s what I don’t understand, I don’t understand how Jews in America can be Democrats first and Jewish second and support Israel along the line of just following their President.”

“It says this, they’re knee-jerk supporters of the President’s policy,” King continued. “The President’s policies throughout the Middle East have been a disaster. I would say to them, ‘Name a country with which we have better relations today than we had when Barack Obama took office.’ And I gave that in speeches for about six weeks until some lag stood up and said, ‘I can name you two, they are Cuba and Iran.'”

Yeah, that will stand up in a poetry slam.

I do have to say that I never thought of Josh Marshal as a wordsmith, but I will admit I would have been proud to cough this one up:

It really is true that for conservatives of a certain stripe, like King, Huckabee and others, Jews are little more than a kind of yahwistic lawnjockeys, mascots for a certain type of militant defense policy and museum pieces in the historical imagination of right-wing Christianity.

.

 

Comments: 48

 
 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Some asshat from MO was complained that the DoJ was “fanning the flames of racism.” Apparently pointing out the embedded racism is “fanning the flames.”

Also too and such as Firtz!

 
 

That was a good one from Marshall. Almost reproduced it myself.

What the King of Kretins is projecting:

It says this, they’re knee-jerk supporters of the PresidentNetanyahu’s policy.

 
 

It really is true that for conservatives of a certain stripe, like King, Huckabee and others, Jews are little more than a kind of yahwistic lawnjockeys, mascots for a certain type of militant defense policy and museum pieces in the historical imagination of right-wing Christianity.

Well played.

Have been saying for some time that Americans’ attitude towards Israel could best be explained as Bible fan fiction.

 
 

King, of the Jews.

What a twunt.

He’s not really berating Democratic Jews. That would require talking to them. He’s just whipping up the fundegelicals’ need for a State of Israel and a monstrous war in the Middle East while diminishing the humanity of American Jews so that said fundegelicals can look down on them.

King continued. “The President’s policies throughout the Middle East have been a disaster. I would say to them, ‘Name a country with which we have better relations today than we had when Barack Obama took office.’

Just wow. How quickly the Bush administration’s talent for getting the entire fucking world to hate us gets flushed down the memory hole.

 
 

Conservatives only like Jews when they’re in the Middle East hastening the Rapture.

 
 

“There is more racism in the Justice Department than there is in anywhere I see in the St. Louis area,” said Kinder, who is a Republican.

He added that he thinks the Justice Department is staffed by “hard-left radical leftist lawyers.”

“Liberals are the real racists!!!”

EVERYBODY DRINK!

 
Jane Gagle-Bennett
 

MO is so like IN, both essentially southern states – someone sometime referred to Indiana as the south’s middle finger to the north, so Missouri would be ___________ ? But Missouri Bird is from Missouri and you and I are in Indiana, so not all bad. Looks like a typical March week here in the OTHER Portland, chilly and some snain maybe.

 
 

How much would I have loved to have heard the interviewer ask King “So, what you’re saying is that these Jews are stabbing the country in the back, isn’t it?”

 
 

What nation do we have worse relations with, again?

We don’t even have worse relations with Israel.

 
 

Wait, so they don’t use the term “reverse racism” any more? When did they get so sophisticated?

 
 

Sorry to interrupt this interesting conversation, but I had one of those random wonders.
Do you guys get the same Google doodle as me? Because mine is about the Cricket World Cup semi-final between SA and NZ and I reckon that’s not really high on your viewing agenda.

 
 

Do you guys get the same Google doodle as me?

I get the birthday of mathematician Emmy Noether.

 
 

Dammit, rain stopped play. Just when they were really rocking it. 246 runs for 3 wickets. Just 12 more overs to nail a good score. Playing in NZ, they probably messed with the weather. Can’t trust those Antipodeans.

 
 

We lost ! Ah, the mortification.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

> when they were really rocking it. 246 runs for 3 wickets. Just 12 more overs to nail a good score

Could you put that in English, please?

 
 

Eat your heart out, Gary Ruppert!

Ben Jones is a bigger asshole than you!

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/ben-jones-confederate-flag-mlk

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Found some lovely tomatoes at the marmers farket so I made a fab fresh sauce – so simple, onions, garlic, peeled and seeded tomates, salt, basil chiffonade – to go with spaghetti. And the chix breast paillards I breaded in seasoned panko then pan fried and topped with fresh mozzarella di bufalo and some of that delightful tomato sauce. Having leftovers for lunch – yayz!

 
 

Could you put that in English, please?

A friend and I when we were younger, 24 hour cable had just arrived on the scene, and espn had hours to fill, spent a good couple hours figuring out how Australian rules football worked.

Still have no clues regarding cricket…

 
 

the rules of Cricket couldn’t be any simpler. From Wikipedia:
Each team consists of one left and one right Inside Grouch, one left and one right Outside Grouch, four Deep Brooders, four Shallow Brooders, five Wicket Men, three Offensive Niblings, four Quarter-Frummerts, two Half-Frummerts, one Full-Frummert, two Overblats, two Underblats, nine Back-Up Finks, two Leapers and a Dummy — for a total of 43.
The game officials are a Probate Judge (dressed as a British judge, with wig), a Field Representative (in a Scottish kilt), a Head Cockswain (in long overcoat), and a Baggage Smasher (dressed as a male beachgoer of pre-World War I years). None has any authority after play has begun. If the officials disagree, a decision is made by the spectator who left his car in the parking lot with the lights on and the motor running.
The article’s introduction claims the game was created because of the excessive professionalism of college sports and promises amateur fun for all. However, Cricket players lose their amateur status by accepting subsidies, endorsing products, making collect phone calls, or eating garlic. Any player may turn Pro simply by throwing a game.
Playing field
Cricket is played on a pentagonal field, or Flutney, and the game is divided into a period of 15 minutes, known as an Ogre. Most Cricket games consist of seven Ogres, unless of course, it rains. In that case, they are to play eight Ogres. Play begins once the teams have lined up on opposite sides of the field.
Equipment
• An official Pritz (or ball) is 3-3/4 inches in diameter. It is constructed from untreated ibex hide, and is stuffed with blue jay feathers.
• Each player is equipped with a Frullip, a long hooked stick very similar in appearance to a shepherd’s crook. It is used to prevent opposing players from scoring with the Pritz.
• Gloves, a helmet, and flippers are also required in an official Cricket game. Any extra padding is suggested, but optional.
Gameplay
Before any game, the Probate Judge must first flip a coin, a new Spanish peseta, while the Visiting Captain guesses the toss. If he guesses correctly, the game is cancelled immediately. If not, the Home Team Captain must then decide if he wishes to play offense or defense first. Play begins after a frullip is touched to the flutney and the recitation “¡Mi tío está enfermo, pero la carretera es verde!”, a wise old Chilean saying that means, “My uncle is sick but the highway is green!”
The offensive team has five Snivels (equivalent to downs in American football) to advance to the enemy goal. Carrying the Pritz across the goal line is a Woomik and scores 17 points; hitting it across with the frullip counts as a Durmish and only scores 11 points. Except in the 7th Ogre (and the 8th, if it rains), only the offensive Niblings and Overblats are allowed to score. In such cases, the four Quarter-Frummerts are allowed to kick or throw the Pritz, and the nine Finks are allowed to heckle the opposition by doing imitations of Barry Goldwater.
The teams are to play a sudden-death overtime to break a tie, unless both Left Overblats are out of the game on personal fouls. If this is the case, the tie is settled by the teams lining up on opposite sides of the flutney (inherently difficult on a pentagonal shape) and shouting dirty limericks at each other until one side breaks up laughing.
A number of penalties are imposed that claim to keep play from getting out of hand. The minor infractions are walling the Pritz, Frullip-gouging, icing on fifth Snivel, running with the mob, and raunching, and are subject to a ten-yard penalty. The major infractions, punishable by loss of half the Flutney except when the Yellow Caution Flag is out, are sending the Dummy home early, interfering with Wicket Men, rushing the season, bowing to the inevitable, and inability to face facts.[3]
When an insufficient number of players precludes a regulation Cricket match, a simplified version may be played: 2-Man Cricket. The rules are the same, except in 2-Man Cricket, the object is to lose.

 
 

I googled. The rules of cricket take up 11 pages in the Encyclopedia Britannica.
OK.Ahem. The batsman (batter) stands in front of a wicket – three upright sticks (stumps) with bails (little sticks) on top.The bowler (pitcher) tries to knock them over. There are 10 fielders standing around waiting to catch the ball if the batsman hits it. If they can before it bounces, he’s out. if the wicket goes down, he’s out. If he hits the ball and nobody catches it, he runs down to the wicket at the other end and that is one run.
So, we had scored 246 runs and only three batsmen were out, leaving us another 7(batsmen) to go.

 
 

Sorry, Suezboo, but as a longtime Shallow Brooder, I’ve gotta vote for Helmut’s rules.

 
 

From the book Nation, Terry Pratchett has a go at cricket

“Daphne’s father declared that not only was Cahle the fastest bowler he had ever seen, but she also had an almost Australian talent for vicious and forensic accuracy with the ball. After the first three whimpering soldiers were carried down to the lagoon so they could sit in the water until the stinging died away, the fourth man took one look at her thundering toward him with her right arm swinging and ran away into the woods, clutching his helmet over his groin. For the sake of the game she was banned from bowling after Daphne’s father explained that women should not really be allowed to play cricket because they fundamentally didn’t understand it. But it seemed to Daphne that Cahle understood it very well, and therefore tried to get it over with as quickly as possible so that they could get on with something more interesting, since in her opinion the world was overwhelmingly full of things that were more interesting than cricket.”

 
 

I for one prefer Ray Davies’ rules:

Some people say that life is a game, well if this is so
I’d like to know the rules on which this game of life is based.
I know of no game more fitting than the age old game of cricket
It has honour, it has character and it’s British.
Now God laid down the rules of life when he wrote those Ten Commandments
And to cricket those ten same rules shall apply.
Show compassion and self-righteousness and be honest above all
And come to God’s call with bat and ball.

Now the Devil has a player and he’s called the Demon Bowler,
He’s shrewd, he’s rude and he’s wicked.
He is sent by Sinful Satan and he’s out to take your wicket
And you know that that’s not cricket.
He’ll baffle you with googlies with leg breaks and offspin
But keep a level head and don’t let that demon in.
So keep a straight bat at all times, let the Bible be your guide
And you’ll get by, yes you’ll get by.

All through your life he’ll try to bowl you out
Beware the Demon bowler.
He’s crafty and deceitful and he’ll try to L.B.W.,
And bowl a maiden over.
The Devil takes the weak in spirit and so we must always be courageous
And remember that God is on your side.
So keep old Satan in your sights and play the straight and narrow line
And you’ll get by, yes you’ll get by.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Comment found at TPM:


Today’s conservatism is the opposite of what liberals want today, updated daily

As for cricket, if we aint talking about food, which could well be the case but here and now is not, I don’t really want to know anything about it.

 
 

I’ve been waiting to hear . Do LEAFS SUCK as usual this year?

 
 

Indeed they do, Suezboo, and they always will.

It’s the Curse of Harold Ballard.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Strip steaks , grass Fed, from the marmers farket are in the sous vide. Prolly finish in cast iron as is my wont. Potato, leek, fig gratin. Creamed spinach as I just started my second martini so the intended spinach cheese souffle is getting less likely. Butcha nebber no. Brownies and gelato for desert.

 
 

I got one of those sous vide gadgets for Christmas. I’m convinced it’s the greatest thing ever.

 
 

Stop cooking spinach, you’re removing all the nutrition!

 
 

Okay, you can’t make this stuff up.

I’m laying over in Detroit and they had to put is in a different hotel because the one we usually stay at is hosting a convention of “Furries”.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Way to go Indiana! I can’t wait to see the fallout. The possibilities for epic trolling the haters has me thinking I should stock up on popcorn.

Indiana governor signs-religious freedom bill that legalizes discrimination against lgbt people

 
 

Ah yes, Indiana. It’s like having a little piece of Dixie right here in the Midwest.

 
 

Once you get out of Indianapolis or Bloomington, Indiana is the kind of red state that makes Texans scratch their heads and go

“Dayum! Ya’ll sure are right wing!”

 
 

If I got the choice of stocking my state legislature with 100% furries or 100% evangelical Christians, I’m pick the furries every time.

 
 

This assumes the categories do not overlap. I have no desire to fill the state legislature with 100% evangelical furries.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Most flurries I have encountered were evangelical. They do go on and on about it. Disclaimer: I have very little experience with furries. That I know of.

Also FYWP and such as too

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Stop cooking spinach, you’re removing all the nutrition!

Demonstrably untrue. Popeye ate canned spinach. Canned spinach is cooked. Popeye got big muskles and much powerfuls upon consuming canned, cooked, spinach.

QED

 
 

As for cricket, if we aint talking about food, which could well be the case but here and now is not, I don’t really want to know anything about it.

Silly Pup, crickets are food!

 
 

I got one of those sous vide gadgets for Christmas. I’m convinced it’s the greatest thing ever.

I’ve been contemplating the beer cooler sous vide mock-up to see how things turn out.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Silly Pup, crickets are food!

Isn’t that what I said? Well, what I said was more like “crickets can be food but that’s the cricket we be talkin bout.”

 
 

I spent six weeks in Terre Haute IN in the summer of ’82.

I came from Pensacola, Florida, and found the climate in Indiana intolerably hot, humid and miserable, the people incredibly backwards, the food nearly inedible, and, with the exception of the ISU campus, absolutely nothing of cultural value whatsoever.

It was so godddamned hot and muggy, that when the sun got low around 5:30 PM, the air temperature dropped half a degree and hit the dew point, creating a hot, moist embrace like being hugged by your Bubbe in a hot tub.

At the age of seventeen, I concluded that Indiana was the armpit of the United States.

(And if Florida is America’s Wang, Pensacola is the Taint.)

 
 

In followup: the Taint stretches roughly from Pensacola FL to Houma LA.

This puts the Asshole somewhere in the vicinity of Houston TX, as you probably have already concluded.

 
 

Oh, hey.

Houston’s not so bad; we have a lesbian mayor.

(I actually have this theory that Houston is one of the great undiscovered treasures of the country, a city whose cultural activities are the kind only a century of lavish petrospending could create, but I won’t burden you with it here.)

 
 

Oh, hey.

Houston’s not so bad; we have a lesbian mayor. Maybe you mean Beaumont?

(I actually have this theory that Houston is one of the great undiscovered treasures of the country, a city whose cultural activities are the kind only a century of lavish petrospending could create, but I won’t burden you with it here.)

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

I lived in Houston – if you call that living – for a year in the early 80s (can’t recall exactly when as it was the 80s, y’know?) . Hot hot humid hot humid flat hot humid traffic jam hot humid pretension everywhere hot humid flat. Hated it, just fucking hated it. everybody from there was extraordinarily proud of having the great good sense to have been born there and they WILL tell you.

 
 

the rules of Cricket couldn’t be any simpler

I larfed hardily at that one.

Suezboo summed it up nicely, now I know what the numbers mean, thanks dear.

Also new stuff, including possibly my best manipulation of imagery yet!!!

….

 
 

‘Name a country with which we have better relations today than we had when Barack Obama took office.’ Afghanistan, Iraq, France, England, Cuba, Iran, Mexico, Italy, Germany, Venezuela, Columbia,…. I would have to think, but I know that I can come up with more.

 
 

(comments are closed)