Meet the Swiftidates

In the interest of bipartisan fairness, I should note that my conservative pal Jon Swift has put together a list of ten Republican candidates whom he wants you to help. “When you take a look at their accomplishments, it’s hard to believe that these great lawmakers are not trouncing their opponents,” writes the Reasonable Conservative. Here are some highlights:

Don Sherwood has been the victim of vicious personal attacks from his enemies who accuse him of trying to strangle his mistress. Although Sherwood admits having a five-year extramarital affair with her, he vehemently denies physically abusing her and says that when police were called to the apartment they shared, he was only giving her a backrub, which, as anyone who has ever had a good backrub knows, can seem like being choked although you feel really good afterwards. […]

Rick O’Donnell is a man with visionary ideas. In 2004 he proposed drafting high school kids to patrol the Mexican border, which he said would give them “a society-wide rite of passage into manhood” that provided “a sense of adventure and risk.” […]

Tom Delay is another member of Congress whose name is still on the ballot despite the fact that he resigned. The Republican Party is asking people to write in another candidate with a complicated hyphenated name that is very hard to spell. But I say why go through all that trouble when you can just pull a lever for Delay, who was one of the best congressmen ever. […]

Read the whole thing.

 

Comments: 23

 
 
 

Wow. Someone read that “Vote Cthullu” site and got motivated.

 
 

Hopefully we’ll be killed first.

Speaking of Jon Swift, I was reading some wingnut’s site this weekend and he actually had Jon on his blogroll.

That was even funnier than the irony impaired commenters.

 
 

So, how come you all haven’t called for Harry Reid to resign after hearing about his corrupt land deal?

 
 

So, how come you all haven’t called for Harry Reid to resign after hearing about his corrupt land deal?

Because there was nothing legally or even ethically wrong with it?

 
 

So, how come you all haven’t called for Harry Reid to resign after hearing about his corrupt land deal?

Because it’s just another failed drive-by from a reporter who’s gotten things wrong before.

 
 

So, how come you all haven’t called for Harry Reid to resign after hearing about his corrupt land deal?

Tell you what, Gary. Wholly apart from the fact that what Reid did wasn’t illegal or unethical, I’ll call for him to step down. But only after you, first, call for every single Republican involved with the Abramoff and Folley scandals, the Katrina debacle, the Iraq disaster, and the North Korea fuck up to step down.

Go ahead.

 
 

Come now, phleabo, Harry Reid’s monsterous crime of not filing income tax the way John Solomon wanted him to makes the Iraq war pale by comparison. And besides, Clinton got a blow job in the Oval Office, I can’t think of anything worse than that.

 
 

Yeah, 650,000 dead means next to nothing when compared to a technical error, amounting in so little tax difference that the IRS won’t even pursue it?

resignation is too good. Shocks to the testicles!

So, Gary, to make it plain: No liberals have demanded Reid step down because his only crime is Making Money While A Democrat.

 
 

Question for the Gar-Bear:

Who do you think more accurately reflects the attitudes of the Republican movers-and-shakers – Tucker Carlson, who says that “…The deep truth is that the elites in the Republican Party have pure contempt for the evangelicals who put their party in power”

or

Karl Rove, who, according to the new book by Konservative Khristian author David Kuo, “referred to the evangelicals as ‘the nuts’?”

Enquiring minds SOOOOOOOOO want to know….

 
 

Jeez, after Solomon and the Slime Machine have been working overtime on Harry Reid the last three years; all they could come up with is some lousy land deal that wasn’t even illegal?

Reid must have lived like a saint.

Gary, but it seems your Special Ops team is starting to come up empty. Shooting blanks, as they say.

 
 

” I can’t think of anything worse than that. ”

I hear Michael Moore’s is off his diet.

 
 

Jon Swift made my day: he included Crazy Curt!

That’s why Sestak should by a Sadlidate.

 
 

“Read the whole thing”, he says, as if I can see through the tears of laughter.

 
 

Can’t you even make your own post???? Oh Brad, you used to be the funny one here. 🙁

 
 

Speaking of Jon Swift, I was reading some wingnut’s site this weekend and he actually had Jon on his blogroll.

No. Way.
That is hilarious.

 
 

“So, how come you all haven’t called for Harry Reid to resign after hearing about his corrupt land deal? ”

Wow. The fact is, I am clapping for you very slowly for you right now. This was such a predictably lame talking point that I thought you’d go for something else, and yet there’s your post. I am reluctantly impressed.

 
Phayer Unbalanced
 

Whoever is pretending to be annieangel, please stop being so mean by making her look her so lame. She looks as dumb as the average Repug here. Which is OK for making Gary look dumb cuz he don’t deserve no better. But annie has occasionally show hints of wit and understanding. Like when … uh …. mmm….

Forget I said anything.

Carry on.

 
 

You better be nice to me. >:/

 
 

Brah-veaux, Gary, you skeevy moral cripple. Are you trying to make us feel sorry for you, ‘cos that was really fucking pathetic. Abysmally lame. Are you even trying anymore, you sad, flatulent cretin? What’s next, links to pictures of three-legged kitties titled, “It’s Nancy Pelosi’s fault”? Sad orphans? Shit.

 
 

Aww, come now, Phayer, that “It’s your fault cause you didn’t stop us.” was good for a chuckle.

 
Brian tha Texas transplant
 

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20061012/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_canada_marijuana

Harry was about to hook us up, that’s why we haven’t called for him to step down…

 
 

He looks like one of those brown people all of the Republicans are so afraid of, is he trying to protect his ass?

 
 

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