Lord… Make Mine Enemies Surreal As All Hell

Trust me, your gun and your kid are both equally safe with me.

Honestly, Who Dyes a Moustache That Isn’t a Closeted Gay Porn Actor, Wing Nut Daily:
A Column I Never Wanted to Write

Woof, I’m a wee bit exhausted right now. See, my regular work is transitioning into summer camps for the summer which really translates into me basically rewriting and reworking the curriculum into something actually usable and entertaining for the kiddies and planning all manner of all-day performances. Add to that trying to keep on top of all the big life changes happening at Chez Cerberus, trying to keep my hat in on some long-term plans that I’m still waiting for to blow up in my face, preparing and presenting my panels at the Ace Unconference last weekend, and trying to pack all of my prep work for next week into the first couple of days this week so I can afford to take the weekend off for my annual smörgåsbord of Pridely Duties, I’m pretty much running on an average of 3 hours of sleep at best.

Which is not to make my excuses for my absence (which honestly has more to do with being kidnapped by evil pirate ninjas who stole my lecture notes… I deny that there are any ill effects possible from sleep deprivation. Damnitt telekinetic squirrels, don’t steal my cheese!), but rather to beg apologies if this post strays beyond the usual collection of half-formed incoherent babbling into full homeless woman on the street corner (get away from my cart!).

And the saddest thing about all of this is even if I devolve (is it really all that great a leap, to be honest) to complete gibbering maniac, I’ll still be far less ridiculous than my right-wing counterparts.

I mean, fuck, sometimes it feels like these fuckers are lining up to be the setup for the most tired stand-up routines in history.

Shorter Cerberus’s brain sampling today’s hors d’ordure:

  • Me: This wingnut is so stupid.
    Audience: How stupid is he?
    Me: So stupid he tried to blame the Southern Poverty Law Center for him being dumb enough to “forget” he packed a loaded firearm in his airport travel bag.

And how about that airplane food? Tip your waitress.

But really, it was only a matter of time before something like this happened. I mean, the standard litany of sumac family peddlers and their increasingly fearful band of homicidal followers have been ever more painfully desperate in their demands to advertise the smallness of their penises in every possible location they can lest the uppity negroes and bitches forget their place and think they are entitled to being treated like existing human beings.

Combine that with the cannibalistic way the right-wing clusterfuck has devolved into each member going out of their way to prove they are more balls-out-crazy than all the rest and it was pretty much a matter of time before one of these reality-abhorring fuckwits tried to wander into an airport or a courtroom without remembering to check their deathstick cum masturbatory aid.

It is only fitting reward that it should be Ol’ Pedastache himself just in time for Prides all over the world to celebrate the explosion of success that queer rights has gained in the last handful of years. Like kicking someone in the balls at the tail-end of celebrating a fantastic diving header goal.

I did something stupid Sunday morning, resulting in being charged with a crime for the first time in my adult life.

There is no excuse for my mistake.

… Oh fuck. I’m dreaming aren’t I? Damn, I should have known it was too good to be true, what with the lack of an actual bodycount. Fuck, you can even see the sign that it was all a clever Onion ploy in the sidebar which advertises a video that literally starts with “Hushed-up Conspiracy” with no hint of irony. Okay, well played, universe, I’ll just… ow.

Huh. A wingnut showing remorse and ownership of their mistakes…

That’s… uncanny. And really really encouraging. I mean, I suspect half of the problem of the right-wing’s dive off the cliff face of even pretending to care about reality has been the tying of tribal identities to toxic masculinity’s fear of being seen to ever have been “wrong” about anything. Thus causing angry marks to double down on their failures and become more indebted to cultures that present a vast conspiratorial fiction that allows them to maintain their self-delusions of being manly-men smarty-pants who are never wrong about anything and thus spared from having to do the hard-work of growing and learning from a changing society.

Could it be that we’ve reached the pinnacle and even the diehards are slowly cottoning to the fact that this whole unhealthy a-

In the interest of sympathy, however, I will add that I was stressed out. I didn’t sleep Saturday night, so I worked. I wrote several columns, some of which were published in the days after my “incident.” I’d sleep on the plane to Seattle where I was giving a speech Monday, I told myself.

Somewhat groggy early Sunday, I actually searched my computer bag for my revolver. I’m licensed to carry in Virginia. I didn’t see it.

… right… wingnuts. Man, I must have been more tired than I thought.

You know, I’ve been overworked and exhausted many times in the past. I’ve been stressed beyond the point of reason, harassed, knocked out of whack by medication, and had to juggle a thousand things at once with various older fucks calling me lazy for not magically fixing the economy they broke.

And yet, I somehow managed, even in these drained states to safely operate a motor vehicle (for the most part, seriously, fuck sertraline), not lose my temper with frustrating or openly hostile students, not out myself to my boss, and oh yeah, not fucking bring a gun to the airport.

When I got to Dulles Airport, I put the bag on the security belt.

The TSA agents saw the gun and signaled me over.

At that moment, I was kicking myself for not thoroughly emptying the bag.

The TSA agents were very nice. They expressed concern about my making the flight. They called the Virginia police as is protocol. They took photos of the firearm and me. They gave me a summons. Then they sent me on my way.

I mean, let’s leave aside the fact that if someone of a non-dominant religion had done the same thing, they’d be rotting in a mass grave outside Guantanamo, not receiving some bizarrely doped up and sedate light conciliatory pat from the TSA (fuck, I got possibly more of a dressing down than this fuck for packing some Danish alka-seltser in my bag). And let’s leave aside the way our broken culture pretends that it’s perfectly normal for these small-dicked wonders to get off scaring everyone in their local McDonalds because some psychopath’s half-hearted chub is worth more than the psychological safety of everyone they meet or the growing list of victims to mass shootings and unchecked firearm proliferation here and in Mexico.

Instead, let’s just imagine their ideal world. Everyone is a Klan member and…

No, let’s just imagine that it’s not at all weird or passive-aggressively vile to treat a murder toy like some binky security blanket.

Um… what the fuck gives with the cavalier attitude these fucks have with a lethal fucking weapon. Okay, let’s pretend that there are ninjas around every corner and the only way a white middle aged male who isn’t even harassed by TSA agents can remain safe is by concealing a means to indiscriminately murder a full apartment block if he wanted. Why then, is this shit treated less seriously than one would a pair of nail clippers.

I mean, sorry, forgive me if I’m being silly, but I’m feeling pretty confident in saying I really don’t think a fucking gun should be something that you only think you’ve taken out when going on a roadtrip, as if it can just be free-floating in a bag with the travel-sized toothpaste and extra-large dildo.

In a sane country, this sort of cavalier attitude to something so utterly and intentionally deadly should carry a lifetime ban from ever being in the same room as a firearm at best and severe jailtime at worst, not some “oops, well that was embarrassing” shrug before jetting off to another conference.

Fuck, I think the biggest problem our “gun culture” has is that a disturbing band of fanboys has convinced the country to treat their obsession as if it was some dork geeking out over Transformers toys and worse yet, fell for their own damn marketing-fueled lie. Holy loving fuck, no wonder there was almost a glimmer of the potential for shame at the beginning of this bullshit.

I am licensed to carry a loaded firearm in multiple states and carry a concealed weapon virtually all of the time.

Statements like this really help me sleep better at night.

I get death threats against me. Let me tell you about that.

…Mmhmm… do go on.

Aug. 15, 2012, a gunman attempting to enter Family Research Council’s Washington, D.C., headquarters shot a security guard, 46-year-old Leonardo Johnson, in the left arm. While injured, Johnson assisted others who wrestled the gunman to the ground until police arrived and placed the gunman under arrest.

During his FBI interview, the gunman, Floyd Corkins was asked how he chose his target. His response was “Southern Poverty Law, lists … uh … anti-gay groups. I found them online.” Corkins appeared in court the following day and was charged with assault with intent to kill while armed and interstate transportation of a firearm and ammunition. An affidavit filed in the case stated that Corkins had told the guard “words to the effect of ‘I don’t like your politics.’”

When Corkins was arrested, investigators found 15 Chick-fil-A sandwiches in his backpack. He told the FBI he planned to kill as many people as he could at FRC and then smash the sandwiches in their faces. The head of Chick-fil-A had announced opposition to same-sex marriage.

A week later, Corkins was indicted on three charges: two charges in the District of Columbia, possession of a handgun during a violent crime and assault with intent to kill, and interstate transportation of a firearm and ammunition, a federal charge. In January 2013, Corkins pleaded guilty to crossing state lines with guns and ammunition, intent to kill while armed and committing an act of terrorism with the intent to kill. Corkins was sentenced to 25 years in prison on Sept. 19, 2013.

Okay, few things.

1) Yeah, I remember that story back in 2012. Some moron carrying a bag of Chick-Fil-A shot the security guard of the Family Research Council and had planned to do more damage. It was soundly condemned by the entire queer and liberal community and it was a vile action that betrayed the principles of queer rights activism in the worst possible way. It was good and right that he was sentenced as well as that his attack was recognized as terrorism…

2) One of the reasons I can’t exactly forget this story is because the FRC has been non-stop selling it as a “we are oppressed by the homofascist hordes” just-so story for the last 2 years. Which you know, yeah, it’s a traumatic thing to live through, but well, unlike in most cases of exactly the same amounts of terrorism, the killer was the first to actually get brought up on terrorism charges despite very high-profile similar or worse attacks against minority targets in the years before. Which makes the whole claim to oppression and fear for one’s life kind of lacking, especially when directly compared to the daily fear of death many queer people (including queer people of color) face.

3) But more importantly, this is the Family Research Council we are talking about. For all this fear of death, poor us posturing, this is the same group who lent a great deal of support to the genocidal Ugandan anti-gay bill and more damningly was a major financial backer for Operation Rescue, the anti-woman terrorist cell that trained and prepared Scott Roeder to murder George Tiller. They also paid heavily for the use of the KKK’s old mailing list to solicit their numbers for donations and membership support. As such, it’s a little hard to accept the victim pose and claims of just being so gosh darn afraid of all the evil murderous queers with the appropriate amount of grace.

4) Um, first up, didn’t he say he start by claiming that he personally received death threats before going off on this tangent about an organization he… wait, is Farah even a member of the FRC? And even if he did (which I have no doubt that he receives many number of times the volume of regular death threats that Rebecca Watson receives every day for once noting that being hit on in an elevator at 3 in the morning made her feel icky), how does that at all tie into the fact that he brought a fucking firearm to the airport like “whoops, how did that collection of fuzzy handcuffs get there”?

I mean, yes, I get that wingnuts have unfortunate allergies to the concept of taking responsibility for their actions, but holy fuckballs is Farah taking it to the next level.

Get off the cross, Joe, we need the fucking wood.

You might note who broke the story that Joseph Farah was detained

Cerberus agrees that referring to oneself in the third person doesn’t at all make one sound like a clinical narcissist with an overwhelming delusion of one’s own importance. Cerberus demands you all bake her endless supplies of muffins! Get to it, slaves!

You might note who broke the story that Joseph Farah was detained at Dulles Airport Sunday for carrying a handgun – the Southern Poverty Law Center.

Forgive this analogy, but seeing the wingnuts continue to try and hammer on the SPLC as if that made them look anything other than the hate groups they are (you know who else thinks the SPLC are a bunch of liberal liars? Neo-nazis. And I wish that was just a fucking Godwin.) is like watching a team swarm the ref after a red card. Do they really think it’s going to change their decision, like, oh, you’re right, that attempt to put one’s boot clean through the other player’s chest or that habit of supporting genocidal legislation was clearly a minor situation deserving of a more cogent analysis?

But I guess if you are used to working the refs in our bought-and-sold rotting corpse of a mainstream media, you might assume that the rest of the world can be so easily bought and swindled.

You might also note the Southern Poverty Law Center has repeatedly labeled my news organization a hate group – with even worse descriptions of me personally.

Because you solicit and promote intentional lies, support bigoted legislation, and are well, a member of one of the many anti-gay hate groups in society and like every other hate group out there, you resent being recognized as such rather than being allowed to pretend that your reflexive antipathy is the result of sober analysis of biotruths or some such shit.

Also, one of you would probably butcher me if I didn’t note that this whole tangent with trying to blame the SPLC for the shooting on the FRC and apparently on everything Farah ever fucks up in his life (is the SPLC also responsible for the way that no assault rifle will ever make him want to suck cocks any less?) is complete fucking fantasy on his part. The shooter did note that the FRC’s anti-gay bigotry was why he targeted them, but he was aware of FRC because he was a queer activist volunteering for an LGBT center not because the SPLC brainwashed him with their secret underground mind-control laser…

On an aside, is it wrong that I kind of envy the way prominent rights organizations are just so Bond villain badass in wingnut imaginations? I mean, I want an SPLC that operates out of a disused volcano and is capable of wiping out bigotry on an international level. That just sounds fucking awesome!

I have many friends at the Family Research Council. I knew that August day that it could just as easily have been my office that was attacked.

…Except for the fact that your office wasn’t there and the FRC is your friends only because you are comrades-in-arms in the making queer lives shittier and more deadly for short-term profit club.

Also, I’m sorry for being the insensitive trans* person here, but I gotta say, my chances of being murdered on the street are a slight bit higher than yours (I recently had a run-in with someone who debated circling back and committing a hate crime, fun fun fun) and yet somehow I manage to avoid being sucked into a posturing cycle of trying to stuff a rocket launcher down my pants and blaming all of my problems on the Illuminati.

Maybe your problem is that you are a sad piece of shit who got caught treating your dildo like a dildo instead of a murder machine.

Again, I’m not making any excuses about my dumb mistake last Sunday.

Well, not any good excuses, certainly.

What I did was dumber than dumb.

And that marks the first time, I’ve ever agreed twice with a wingnut in the same article. Oh, Farah, we’re creating some beautiful bipartisan common-ground today!

But I thought you deserved to know the rest of the story, as my inspiration Paul Harvey would say.

And your side of the story is that commie brainwashing SPLC agents broke into your home, drugged you up with work weeks stretching into the double digits of hours and tricked you into being a paranoid rich white fuck so scared and stupid that you regularly lose the gun you claim to be worthy of being entrusted to safely carry on a daily basis?

… Maybe you should have just stayed quiet on this one and let the record stand, hmm?


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Happy Pride, everyone! It’s Gay Christmas! We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 154

 
 
 

I saw this

Somewhat groggy early Sunday, I actually searched my computer bag for my revolver. I’m licensed to carry in Virginia. I didn’t see it.

And was composing a response, which was pretty much this, only not so good.

In a sane country, this sort of cavalier attitude to something so utterly and intentionally deadly should carry a lifetime ban from ever being in the same room as a firearm at best and severe jailtime at worst, not some “oops, well that was embarrassing” shrug before jetting off to another conference.

So, yeah.

And first?

 
 

Unfortunately, I am currently unable to send you an actual muffin over the internets. However, please accept this virtual muffin. P-nut Butter and Chocolate Chip OK?

 
 

Somewhat groggy early Sunday, I actually searched my computer bag for my revolver. I’m licensed to carry in Virginia. I didn’t see it.

If you’re going to fancy yourself as some sort of bad-ass gunfighter maybe you should know where your fucking gun is.

 
 

Waaaah! Waaaaah! I’m the real victim!

I bet the SPLC still receives more death threats in a day than he’s had mustache dye-jobs in his life, but you don’t see their employees blundering through TSA checkpoints with guns in their computer bags. Neither do gay rights activists, doctors who provide abortions or anyone who has publicly spoken out against the GOP in the past 20 years. Huh. It is almost like Farah would be full of shit if it weren’t piled up in his pants.

Also, I must ask: If you’re carrying a gun because you believe one or more people has it in for your own distinctively ‘stached self, what fucking good does your piece do in a computer bag?

Really, all these wanna-bes are so imaginative when it comes to thinking up abstract threats, but they seem stuck on the TV scenario in which Bad Guy obligingly stands 20 feet away, brandishes a switch blade and shouts “I cut you man!!” before he lowers his head and charges. Good Guy calmly draws weapon and Boom! kills Bad Guy. They never get to the scenario that goes Bad Guy approaches Good Guy with hand outstretched. “Oh Mr. Good Guy, I’m a huge fan of your work!” and [Stab] or [Shoot].

And perhaps it is just me: But as a general policy I think it is a really excessively fucking stupid idea to tell all and sundry where you keep your pwecious guns and/or that you’re usually carrying. I know the idea is to scare people and announce one’s general badassedness. But really that’s up there with announcing you’re on really powerful pain meds that you keep in your pocket at all times.

If he gets mugged for his laptop bag, he can blame the SPLC for that one as well.

 
 

Good Lord, is this Prince of the Closet for real?

 
 

As others have noted, why the fuck does he think a gun he can’t find with his eyes closed is going to be able to help him in any kind of imaginary scenario where he would need it to defend himself? Isn’t knowing where to find the object on which his fantasies revolve kinda central to the badass warrior citizen identity he’s trying to claim? Is that the whole point of open carry, so that if one suddenly has to try and kill someone, that one can actually find the thing rather than dig through one’s man purse, checked luggage and cargo shorts for 10 minutes? Or is defense not the reason? Is he carrying it for offense? Does he have a special someone or list of someones that he wants to shoot? Will they stand still for him while he empties out his pockets and pats himself down for concealed weapons?

 
 

How do these guys not know that being dumb as fuck with a firearm completely dismantles their “responsible gun owner” argument? Seriously. I own guns, and there is zero chance that gun would ever find its way anywhere near an airport. Or a school, or a bar, or a grocery store, or a Target, or a Chipotle…

But if I ever do fuck up like this guy, I’ll know who to blame now! LIBERALS!!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!

 
 

but they seem stuck on the TV scenario in which Bad Guy obligingly stands 20 feet away, brandishes a switch blade and shouts “I cut you man!!” before he lowers his head and charges.

TIME OUT! I WASN’T READY!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

There are a few items which I need to carry just about every day- two sets of keys, wallet, and phone… I always keep them in the same place, so I don’t forget them when I step out. If his gun is so important, he should be disciplined enough to be aware of its location at all times.

Why are so many “responsible gun owners” so damn lackadaisical about a device that’s designed to make holes in people’s vital organs?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Farah’s mustache dye is off-gassing, the toxic fumes are going straight up his nostrils and melting his brain.

 
 

Somewhat groggy early Sunday, I actually searched my computer bag for my revolver. I’m licensed to carry in Virginia. I didn’t see it.

When I read my own bad writing, that’s when I reach for my revolver!

 
 

iPhone 4 tagfail.

[We fix tagfails]

 
 

I know this is generally frowned upon but I have a contemporary link which is on-topic.

 
 

Let’s imagine some other scenarios in which Farah searches, but does not find, to see if his attitude towards a missing fire stick makes any kind of sense:

Somewhat groggy early Sunday, I actually searched … for my [laptop]. I didn’t see [it]. [So I shrugged and went to the airport].

Somewhat groggy early Sunday, I actually searched … for my [emergency mustache repair kit]. I didn’t see [it]. [So I shrugged and went to the airport].

Somewhat groggy early Sunday, I actually searched … for my [pills that keep me from reverting to a reptilian]. I didn’t see [them] [So I shrugged and went to the airport].

Somewhat groggy early Sunday, I actually searched … for my [dog Spot]. I didn’t see [him] [So I shrugged and went to the airport].

Somewhat groggy early Sunday, I actually searched … for my [pants]. I didn’t see [them] [So I shrugged and went to the airport].

Somewhat groggy early Sunday, I actually searched … for my [wallet]. I didn’t see [it] [So I shrugged and went to the airport].

Nope.

 
 

This has happened quite a few times where I work. We go through our own security screening when we show up for a flight. They’ve had several people “forget” that they had a gun in their bag.

The company finally put a warning out saying that the next person who does this will be fired. No exceptions.

 
 

This has happened quite a few times where I work. We go through our own security screening when we show up for a flight. They’ve had several people “forget” that they had a gun in their bag.

What in the name of heaven does anyone think they are going to do with a gun on an aircraft?

Good policy as far as your company is concerned.

 
 

Good News, V. The Left-ish Guru is back. Pierce had a day off yesterday. Phew.

 
 

for my [pills that keep me from reverting to a reptilian]. I didn’t see [them] [So I shrugged and went to the airport].

That was fucking hilarious.

 
 

into full homeless woman on the street corner (get away from my cart!).

Frankly, I would feel perfectly comfortable with that. If you ever visit my blog, that would become apparent.

 
 

They’ve had several people “forget” that they had a gun in their bag.

Because a shipment of cheese might go off, achieve sentience and attack the crew! Raaar!

 
 

I’ve had enough of all this motherfuckin’ sentient cheese on my motherfuckin’ plane!

 
 

Hey there, smells to me like good ol’ Jackwad Joey here just bought his reliably confabulicious crypto-fascist ass a bonus for Cultural Narrative Inversion Second Class, along with a Kewpie Doll!

Who’s a good little media whore, Joey? Who is? WHO is?
ATTA BOY!

Have another food pellet & some more smack, Joey.
You EARNED it!

 
 

Cerb or Provider, fun weekend fare for skewering: Ann Coulter hates footy, at the Moonie Times. http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/jun/26/ann-coulter-any-growing-interest-soccer-can-only-b/

 
 

(that might elicit an “AHEM” from an earlier thread; my apologies if yes)

 
 

I once had a tiny knife as long as a credit card and thinner than a nail file confiscated by TSA. And this fuck barely gets more for carrying a gun, which I suspect was loaded (because you know those crafty SPLC ninjas could jump out at a moment’s notice).

Did they confiscate the ass monkey’s gun or just let him have it back? This universe sucks.

 
 

histrogeek: same. Sewing scissors from a pocket-sized kit.

If I had to defend myself with nothing but what was packed in my luggage that day, I would probably have just swung the suitcase at someone instead of trying to poke them with 2-inch, blunt-ended sewing scissors.

 
 

Can’t they make him sign some kind of official dumb register? You know, for the sake of neighbours concerned about their children.

 
 

While I certainly agree that under no circumstances should anyone but law enforcement personnel be allowed to carry any kind of firearm onto an airplane (and even then only in special circumstances), I also think that TSA rules are bizarre and haphazardly enforced. It would be easy to innocently carry on something forbidden, but some things you could be think would not be permitted, are.

I can’t carry a pair of nail clippers onto a plane, but my wife routinely carries on knitting needles. She uses the circular kind, so not only could you stab someone with them, they would make a dandy garrote. They have never so much as asked her to knit a couple of stitches to make sure she at least actually knows how to knit. She is petite, so perhaps that is a factor, but she could easily hand them off to a bigger partner who could do serious damage with them. I’m happy about this, I guess, since it makes flying infinitely better for the both of us, but honestly I’ve never figured out why this is OK when other, less dangerous, objects are prohibited.

 
 

What in the name of heaven does anyone think they are going to do with a gun on an aircraft?

Most of them probably weren’t trying to bring it on the airplane. I suspect that most of them just forgot that the gun was in that particular bag. It wouldn’t surprise me if some of these cheap bastards use their shooting-range bag for luggage.

I happen to own guns, but some of the people I work with are really, really into guns to where they hardly want to talk about anything else.

 
 

What in the name of heaven does anyone think they are going to do with a gun on an aircraft?

Shoot snakes. Don’t you know nothing?

 
 

Most of them probably weren’t trying to bring it on the airplane. I suspect that most of them just forgot that the gun was in that particular bag. 

Seems to me that’s pretty much the argument the ‘stache was using, and that’s where I get all pissy. It seems to me that if you’re going to go to the trouble and expense to acquire a gun, especially if you’re noisily self-righteous about your right to own one, because it’s such an integral part of your freedom -‘scuse me – FREEDOM!!!!11!!, you should know where the fuckin’ thing is. Isn’t part of the ammosexual’s claim to legitimacy that firearms are serious tools, and every serious workman knows you take good care of your tools… oh, wait.

 
 

I suspect that most of them just forgot that the gun was in that particular bag.

This creates the possibility that one of these hope-to-be Hop-Alongs will get mugged and only after the thief is heading for the horizon with his bag, will he remember that he had a gun.

Because I am not very nice, this amuses me.

 
 

I have been toying with the idea of getting instruction at a shooting range. Partly because I’d enjoy learning a new skill, and partly because of the head assploding possibilities.

 
 

My dad was a cop.

He spent a lot of time chasing around stolen guns because jackasses would leave them in their cars overnight or at the store. Some of those guns ended up being used in armed robberies and other crimes.

Part of your responsibility as a gun owner is to secure your gun from not only kids, but thieves as well. Forgetting you have it in a bag that you might leave at a table in a coffee shop to go to the bathroom is FAIL.

 
 

I feel I once knew this, but what’s the law on that? X leaves gun some where, Y finds it and shoots two people.

Can X ever be liable? (Criminally? Civilly?)

 
 

I have been toying with the idea of getting instruction at a shooting range.

If you’re ever in Columbus look me up.

 
 

can X ever be liable? (Criminally? Civilly?)

No,

 
 

Although I suppose a civil complaint could be heard, but I’ve never heard of it happening. They’ve gone after gun manufacturers before and lost every time–at least to my knowledge.

 
 

If you’re ever in Columbus look me up.

Thanks, I will if I am.

 
 

Turns out I am an att’y., & I’d guess you probably couldn’t sue unless the gun had been an “attractive nuisance,” you know, lying in full view on the seat of someone’s unlocked car w/ a “Go ahead & steal me” sign near it.

Slightly more seriously, it would probably have to be a situation where someone w/ no prior criminal intent saw the rod unsecured & spontaneously decided to take it, & then went out & plugged someone. If it’s just stolen w/ a bunch of other crap from a house, car, storage whatever it’s not an “attractive nuisance.”

 
 

Did he search the computer bag because that’s where he usually keeps his Viag er gun or because he had no clue where it was? In the first case, WTF? In the scond case, WTF?

 
 

Did he search the computer bag because that’s where he usually keeps his Viag er gun or because he had no clue where it was?

And how is it that he couldn’t find it? My recollection is that guns are fairly large (somehow I doubt he’d be using a “ladies’ gun”) and rather heavy.

 
 

The fact is, guns make us free and it should be a crime not to own one, unless you are a black or a muslim or a liberals in which case you an enemy of USA.

 
 

The fact is, Joseph Farah is a truth teller who loves America and is always threatende by liberals and trial lawyers and Palestinians. You liberals all support terrorists, someday we are gonna round all of you up hear in the Heartland.

 
 

The Fact Is, Gray Puprert wants to ride Farah’s mustache until he has 3rd degree rug burn.

 
 

One of the reasons I can’t exactly forget this story

The main reason I can’t forget it is that it’s literally the only such incident I recall since I started following politics where the crazed gunman was a left winger going after a right wing institution.

Wish the reverse was as rare.

But more importantly, this is the Family Research Council we are talking about. For all this fear of death, poor us posturing, this is the same group who lent a great deal of support to the genocidal Ugandan anti-gay bill and more damningly was a major financial backer for Operation Rescue, the anti-woman terrorist cell that trained and prepared Scott Roeder to murder George Tiller. They also paid heavily for the use of the KKK’s old mailing list to solicit their numbers for donations and membership support. As such, it’s a little hard to accept the victim pose and claims of just being so gosh darn afraid of all the evil murderous queers with the appropriate amount of grace.

Things like this should be hung around the FRC’s neck, and every other fundiegelical institution for which it applies (all of them, Charlie!), whenever they’re brought up in public. Insults like “Talibangelical” aren’t hyperbolic. The religious right really is the allegedly Christian version of the Saudi billionaires and Pakistani generals that the Bin Ladens of the world go to for start-up loans.

 
 

The fact is, Christians save and help people and work for God. Muslims and leftists kill people and work for Satan, any objective media obeserver would achnknowlege this, but the media is biased to the far left. I am happy that real Americans tell teh truth from the Hearland, not coast eleitist bleating of sheep and communists from the decadant fringe of real America.

 
 

Cute kitten is visitor from Planet of Bliss.

 
 

Y’all & your cute kitty-cats. I’m starting to think I’ve been feline-deprived for too long.

 
 

The fact is, new kitty is a sweet ragamuffin JP should be spoiling 25 hours a day. Also he must to provide regular kitten updates since someone (I name no names) has fallen down on the puppy update duties.

The other fact is, I keep thinking the old homestead is too quiet and needs a kitten to amuse the current cats (where amuse = piss off and maul), but one kitten might be lonely so why not two kittens? But the third fact is, that would create a challenging cat/sq. ft. ratio.

 
Gunlickers, Oligarchs and Psychopaths
 
 

That is one highly squee-worthy kitten.

 
 

I LOL’d a “obese-rver.” Best mocking of Rush Limbaugh ever.

 
 

SNerk.

There’s no information on what caused him to drink. Maybe he was just listening to his old speeches…?

He was depressed because he couldn’t find any girls interested in a private Datability Coaching session

 
 

The fact is, new kitty is a sweet ragamuffin JP should be spoiling 25 hours a day. Also he must to provide regular kitten updates since someone (I name no names) has fallen down on the puppy update duties.

Challenge ACCEPTED.
.

 
 

The students who sat through [Lookado’s] sexist tirade began using the hashtag #Lookadouche

Lawl, good one. Mr. Lookado is old enough (44) to remember a time when “douche” was not a common insult. Cherish those memories, buddy. You certainly earned your new moniker.

 
 

Mr. Lookado is old enough (44) to remember a time when “douche” was not a common insult.

I’m 52 and I have to think back a long way to remember a time when that wasn’t a common insult. It was certainly in common use when I was in High School (late 1970s).

 
 

I’m 52 and I have to think back a long way to remember a time when that wasn’t a common insult. It was certainly in common use when I was in High School (late 1970s).

I guess I was out of the douche loop.

 
 

Well, I’m a crone in a Third World country and I heard douche for the first time on the intertube. In fact, come to think of it, I have learned a lot of new and interesting words, especially insults, on the Good Ole Intertoobs.

 
 

The Fact Is, Gray Puprert wants to ride Farah’s mustache until he has 3rd degree rug burn.

Shake is the millionth local to remind me of the essential, “Quaff, SWALLOW, then read” maxim.

 
 

Tomorrow I’m “retiring” from my research position. This will be my last day of 9 to 5 for the next 4 years.

I have seven fucking weeks to do nothing but drink beer, run, and write.

I am over the moon.

JP: the cat is the squish.

 
 

Sociologic Sidenote:
Neither “douche” nor “douchebag” were known among West Coast teens during the ’60s. (I can state that w/ absolute certainty, as I know both every teen & every insult up & down the Coast.)

 
Coach Urban Meyer
 

Wuzza-wuzzup, loony libs?

 
 

Other Things I Have Learned on the Good Ole Intertoobz :
(of which I had no prior knowledge) An astonishing (Well, I Had No Idea !) number of sexual variants – inclinations, orientations, fixations etc.

 
 

JP: the cat is the squish.

Ya think?!
.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I’m 52 and I have to think back a long way to remember a time when that wasn’t a common insult. It was certainly in common use when I was in High School (late 1970s).

Until recently, I’d only heard “douchebag” used as an insult. The liquid contents were pretty much considered neutral.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

An astonishing (Well, I Had No Idea !) number of sexual variants – inclinations, orientations, fixations etc.

Add “cranking” to the list, Suezboo my love.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I have seven fucking weeks to do nothing but drink beer, run, and write.

How about a beer-soaked poetry-composing half-marathon?

 
 

Sorry to report that Moe, the kitteh, is no more. 🙁 I woke up, as old men do, and noticed he was sleeping in the same spot that he was when I went to bed. Not sure that he was alive when I went to bed. Sad.
.

 
 

Sorry to report that Moe, the kitteh, is no more

I haz a sad.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

JP, that’s terrible!

 
 

Sorry to hear about the kitty, JP.

 
 

Wait, the kitten you just got?

 
 

Sorry to report that Moe, the kitteh, is no more.

Well, hell. At least it looks like he had a wonderful time the last couple of days, anyway.

 
 

Fuck, JP, in the space of fifteen minutes I learn of his existence, which delighted me, then of his demise which…Fuck.

 
 

JP, I am so sorry buddy.

Rest in peace little scrunch.

 
 

Telekinetic Squirrels. Works for BoTB.

 
Gullibles, Oldfolks & Plutocrats
 

Keep your dogma away from my karma.

 
 

Keep your transubstantiation from my train station.

 
Gullibles, Oldfolks & Plutocrats
 

… And keep wealthcare out of healthcare!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Just got back from an origami exhibit at Cooper Union and a minor bender at McSorley’s. Thought I’d have to go in on an emergency basis but a coworker is handling things. Will continue my bender in the Bronx.

 
 

Obama is not a brown-skinned anti-war socialist who gives away free healthcare. You’re thinking of Jesus.

John Fugelsang

 
Gullibles, Oldfolks & Plutocrats
 

Some guy, has Niagara Falls started melting yet?

Who’s asking? You, or your Siamese twin?

 
 

has Niagara Falls started melting yet?

Niagara Falls! Slowly I turned. Step by step. Inch by inch…..

 
Christine O'Donnell
 

Please believe me when I tell you that I’m not a witch!

 
Christine O'Donnell
 

Please support my latest campaign for whatever.

 
Gullibles, Oldfolks & Plutocrats
 

Walton-heir: billionaire whose employees require taxpayer support.

Ain’t the free market wonderful?

 
Christine O'Donnell
 

Donations to my 501(c)(3) organization are tax-deductable!

 
Christine O'Donnell
 

Will the Waltons donate to Christines’ Wish organization, DA?

 
Christine O'Donnell
 

Fight the power, DA!

 
Gullibles, Oldfolks & Plutocrats
 

Dick Cheney’s Blackwater corporation shows how to deal with them pesky govt. bureaucrats… assert your Second Amendment Rights! threaten to shoot ’em right in the face!

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/30/us/before-shooting-in-iraq-warning-on-blackwater.html?_r=2

 
Gullibles, Oldfolks & Plutocrats
 

Hey, Dork Avenger, your aftershave smells just like troll shit!

 
Christine O'Donnell
 

I need your help to fight against godless feminists like Amanda Marcotte:

The idea that it could ever be “religious freedom” to tell an employee that her private use of her own compensation package should be constrained by her boss’s religious beliefs should be laughable. But that’s the logic of the modern Christian right that holds that the only way to “protect” their own religious belief is to start forcing it on others.

 
Gullibles, Oldfolks & Plutocrats
 

If troll shit could fly, this place would be an airport.

 
Christine O'Donnell
 

We can’t let atheists think they’re as good as us Christians, people. Donate to my 501(c)(3) today!

 
Christine O'Donnell
 

That’s why you have to donate to my 501(c)(3), so we can fight Amanda Marcotte and her racist, atheist ways!

 
 

This place smells like the Augean stables.

Looks like a river’s going to have to run through it…

 
Christine O'Donnell
 

Only witches use too many exclamation marks. I’m not a witch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 

Dick Cheney iirc didn’t have any stake in Blackwater other than shoveling billions in their direction. He owns a bunch of stock and held an executive position at Halliburton. Blackwater was the creation of Eric Prince who is totally different terrible person.

 
 

Dance of the sugar plum sockpuppets.

 
 

Dick Cheney iirc didn’t have any stake in Blackwater other than shoveling billions in their direction.

No..though I’ll bet if it was possible to follow the money, some of it would end up in Cheney’s grubby fat dickbeaters.

 
Christine O'Donnell
 

Dick Cheney is one of my heros!!!!!!!!!!!

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Kentucky. BOOM.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

So five Catholic men – activist judges all – have established the Xian version of sharia as the law of the land. Go figure.

 
Christine O'Donnell
 

So?

 
 

I must have missed something.

When did Catholics become “Real Christians”?

 
 

How about a beer-soaked poetry-composing half-marathon?

Your ideas intrigue.
Have a newsletter, website?
My interest, piqued.

 
 

My crass though tangentially related self-promoting comment seems to have been hosed away along with the trollspew. I’m still inordinately proud to have come up with the idea of calling an album “Slowly I Turned” first, nevertheless.

 
 

Trollspew is a Desilu Production.

 
 

My crass though tangentially related self-promoting comment seems to have been hosed away along with the trollspew.

No. It is on a different post, though.

 
 

Blimey. Well then, it must be a sign that the spirit of Moe (in all his incarnations, be it violent slapstick comedian or adorable kitten) will never die.

 
 

You might note who broke the story that Joseph Farah was detained at Dulles Airport Sunday for carrying a handgun – the Southern Poverty Law Center.

as they say, ‘sadly, no…’

The Washington Post first reported the incident yesterday but described the individual in question as Joseph Farah, 49, of Centreville, Va. Hatewatch confirmed with the Metropolitan Washington Airports Authority today that in fact Joseph Francis Farah, who is 59, was cited for the weapon charge.

 
 

LIBERAL MEDIA WITCH HUNT!!

 
 

You might note who broke the story that Joseph Farah was detained at Dulles Airport Sunday for carrying a handgun – the Southern Poverty Law Center.

as they say, ‘sadly, no…’

So, in addition to being dangerously careless with his penis extender, he lies about and/or is too lazy/obsessed with the SPLC as the Source of All Things Bad to verify who actually broke the story. What. A. Surprise.

Note to Mr. Farah: it would appear that the SPLC is far less interested in you than you are obsessed withthem.

 
 

So, in addition to being dangerously careless with his penis extender, he lies about and/or is too lazy/obsessed with the SPLC as the Source of All Things Bad to verify who actually broke the story. What. A. Surprise.

i was just as shocked…

Note to Mr. Farah: it would appear that the SPLC is far less interested in you than you are obsessed withthem.

there is some serious obsession over there…it’s guns! guns! guns! and no laws! laws! laws! i think i finally figured out what they are all waiting for: the day they can shoot shit up real good…ARMAGEDDON!!!11!!!

Yes Gingerale, it’s good when those in position share their encounters with those of us, at large, as we are truely in the last time with the Day of the LORD approaching. A Day in which, our firearms, nor their firearms and ammo, will be of zero value for defensive or offensive protection. The Apostle John said, “And, 1/3 of the population was killed by these three: The Fire, The Smoke and Brimstone”.

 
 

There is some sort of historic narcissism going on with the end-of-days people. They get to imagine that no matter how insignificant they are in real life, that the 2nd coming (or peak oil or the singularity) will make them stars in the biggest show in history. Also some fundamentalists get off on imagining that they will finally get to indulge their most bloodthirsty fantasies when they join the army of the lord and fight in the last battle.

 
 

Also some fundamentalists get off on imagining that they will finally get to indulge their most bloodthirsty fantasies when they join the army of the lord and fight in the last battle.

being jesus’ sidekick would be pretty cool…

 
 

Not for us atheists.

 
 

Not for us atheists.

don’t be so sure…bet he would win you over with his mad gun skills…

 
 

My question to end-timers is always “Do you have a 401K or an IRA?”

If they answer yes, I ask them why they’re saving for a future they’re certain will never arrive.

 
 

If they answer yes, I ask them why they’re saving for a future they’re certain will never arrive.

i think you may have stumbled upon an important link here…not sure what it is, but i’ll get back to you…

 
 

I just felt compelled to stop by and leave a supplies of muffins for Cerb:

(.y.)

Supplies!

 
 

GO, BELGIUM !
(Loud voice from behind the couch)

 
 

There is some sort of historic narcissism going on with the end-of-days people.

I guess it’s not exciting to imagine that someday, long after you’re gone, the eschaton will come. Why, that’s almost as bad as being one of the mooks who lived before biblical times! Talk about nobodies.

I, for one, am humble enough to be a footnote (or less), if only things would go a bit better for me and mine. Not that I’m ungrateful.

 
 

Suezboo’s incantation seems to have panned out!

 
 

A Day in which, our firearms, nor their firearms and ammo, will be of zero value for defensive or offensive protection.

Guns will be useless? Isn’t that blasphemy?

 
 

VCarlson skrev:

Note to Mr. Farah: it would appear that the SPLC is far less interested in you than you are obsessed with[ ]them.

He’s not the only one. I may have mentioned the right-wing nutcake I had the misfortune to encounter on a Daria fandom board; he’s convinced that Morris Dees is tapping his phone and reading his mail.

 
 

My question to end-timers is always “Do you have a 401K or an IRA?”

Hell, I just ask ’em if they buy green bananas.

 
 

Suezboo: Poop.

(Altho I will say the Belgians comported themselves with class compared with, say, the Dutch. Whoever that flopping fuckhead is who went down like a Cicero Avenue hooker in the penalty box to set up the winning goal against Mexico, I hope he gets a really bad STD.)

 
 

Aw, sorry, guys. (Oozes sincerity in all directions)

 
 

The fact is, A struck has been blown for freedom in the USA. No more will atheists force beleivers to spend their money on things tehy dont beleive in.

 
 

Oh, hey!

Cry not for Kitteh Moe. He’s in the ground, respectfully, and life continues for the rest of us. Okay?
.

 
Christine O'Donnell
 

Hebrews 13:8.

 
Christine O'Donnell
 

Matthew 27:5 and Luke 10:37

 
 

This is very bad news for Obamas third term.

 
 

Yep, they’re running from Obamacare

not.

Agree or disagree, millions of Americans now receive an Obamacare benefit. Roughly 8 million have signed up for health insurance through the state exchanges, while millions of others have become eligible for Medicaid because of an enormous expansion of federal funding.

Thus, unlike in years past, Republicans who argue that Obamacare should be repealed or substantially changed will be forced to explain what they plan to do for the people who have benefited from the new law.

It is this factor that the president emphasized recently as he urged Democrats not to run away from the law as they campaign for reelection this year.

U.S. Rep. Mark Pocan, D-Madison, is heeding the message. He issued a staunch defense of the tenure of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius in a recent appearance on MSNBC’s “The Ed Show.”

“I think she stayed through the end and delivered exactly what we said the law would afford,” he said.

“7.5 million people have access to the federal exchange, 3 million people getting expanded healthcare through keeping your children on policies, millions getting access through expanded Medicaid… And all but for a little blip on the website, I think she has done a tremendous job.”

Kelly Westlund, the Democratic candidate running against U.S. Rep. Sean Duffy, R-Ashland, is also embracing an aggressive message supporting expanded health care access. She argues that Obamacare is a good start, but it could be made even better.

“I’d like to see (the Affordable Care Act) expanded,” she says on her website. “I’d like to see negotiation over drug prices. I’d like to see a public option, frankly.”

Duffy, meanwhile, boasts of the dozens of times he has voted to repeal Obamacare, and touts his own plan, which he says “retains the few good portions of Obamacare,” including prohibiting insurers from denying coverage based on a consumer’s pre-existing conditions.

Regardless of public opinion toward Duffy’s proposed alternative, the longer people operate under Obamacare without disastrous consequences, the more wary they will become of proposals to scrap the status quo, just as they were skeptical of the overhaul to begin with.

 
 

Yes, I would like the mods to please delete the ones where the nym goes to a stupid examiner(dot)com article about Sarah Palin.

Thanks.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

“when at least I’m not a pedophile” is your best defense
*snerk*

 
 

God grant me the serenity

Who, now?

 
 

“Dr. Who grant me serenity” just doesn’t scan right.

 
 

Onward, Christian soldiers, marching as to war,
with the cross of Jesus going on before.
Christ, the royal Master, leads against the foe;
forward into battle see his banners go!

 
 

[Jesus] was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended into Hell.

He descended into Hell, briefly? I didn’t know that. Wouldn’t have guessed. Sounds like a pointless detour, and I don’t understand what it adds to the catechism (?) other than to reinforce that God is a dick.

 
 

It’s known as the Harrowing of Hell, although there is no Scriptural authority behind it:

In the context of Christian theology, the Harrowing of Hell (Latin: Descensus Christi ad Inferos, “the descent of Christ into hell”) is the Old English and Middle English term for the triumphant descent of Christ into Hell (or Hades) between the time of his Crucifixion and his Resurrection when he brought salvation to all of the righteous who had died since the beginning of the world (excluding the damned).[1] After his death, the soul of Jesus was supposed to have descended into the realm of the dead, which the Apostles’ Creed calls “hell” in the old English usage. In some Christian theologies, it is believed that Jesus’s soul remained united to the divinity during this time. The realm into which Jesus descended is called Sheol or Limbo by some Christian theologians to distinguish it from the hell of the damned.[2]

This nearly-extinct term in Christian theology is referenced in the Apostles’ Creed and the Athanasian Creed (Quicumque vult) which state that Jesus Christ “descended into Hell”. However, there are no explicit New Testament references to Christ having descended to the underworld (although mention is made in 1 Peter 3:19–20 of Jesus preaching to “the imprisoned spirits”). Its near-absence in Scripture has given rise to controversy and differing interpretations. It is unclear how it became part of the Apostles’ Creed.[3]

 
 

That’s not the Catholic rendition of the Creed, BTW. It omits the ‘visible/invisible’ line found in the old version or ‘seen/unseen’ post-Vatican II version.

 
 

OIC. That will fit in nicely with the other useless information cluttering up my brain-pan.

 
 

It’s interesting the way many christians seem to assume that their way is everyone else’s way, too. I am a christian, too, but my particular flavor doesn’t hold with this “creed” stuff. I’ll even go so far as to say that I don’t believe that Jesus guy rose from the dead, either, that that was a comforting story people told each other. I know this will cause some people to opine that I’m not a Real Christian ™, but it really only means I don’t belong to their particular sect.

 
 

New post full of vim and vinegar

 
 

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