I Give Up

Because I absolutely hate my life, I decided to see what Powerline had to say about the Mark Foley scandal. This is what I found:

Various Democrats are accusing Republicans of covering up Congressman Mark Foley’s boy problem, a charge for which there is no evidence. One wonders, though, whether that is exactly what the Democratic Party did.

I… sigh… wow.

I can’t wait to see how out of touch with reality Hindy gets when the Dems clean house in a few weeks. It’s gonna be some funny shit.


Comments: 38

Hysterical Woman

The Democrats were the ones covering up Foley’s boy problem!


No, see, it was in the Dems interest to cover it up because they wanted Foley’s seat to be safe in the upcoming…


Ok, I’ve got it, see, the Dems wanted Foley to stay in congess because they knew that to expose his pedophilia and force him to resign would hurt them by…


Well, anyway, the Dems certainly wouldn’t want any of this to come out because then they would…


Shit, I don’t know. I think my head exploded. But assrocket never really needed logic to support his, er, positions….



I keep thinking of that movie “They Live.” The Republicans are just using their usual plays. But this time, normal people are looking at them and saying “AIEEE, you’re creepy space aliens.”

Karatist Preacher

Well assrocket, I don’t know what the Democratic Party did but I’ve seen that pic of you about to happily deep-throat that corndog…so you should probably STFU and practice that gag-reflex technique.


I love the smell of desperation in the right wingnut blogosphere. It smells like victory…


Cognitive dissonance is a hell of a drug.

Brian tha Texas Transplant

I kinda thought they had all been using LSD, but this goes well beyond any reaction to many drugs. The only possibility here is that they have all of these people (and I use that term loosely) have forgotten what it was to be human and that the Neanderthal never really vanished. Rather they became Republiman…


So the right-wing spin is divided between people who think the Democrats exposed Foley’s activities and people who think the Democrats covered up Foley’s activities? Sounds like they’ve got the entire range of possibilities covered, right? I mean, who else could be to blame?


Let’s say, despite the complete lack of evidence, that somehow the Democrats became super Machiavellian over night to a) find out that Mark Foley is a child abuser, b) sit on it quietly for years right until these crucial mid term elections, with no one in this vast conspiracy making a mistake and letting it slip that there was a child abuser as the GOP point man for Child Advocacy and c) It made sense that they would keep quiet about it because after all Democrats are truly evil despicable people who upon being presented with evidence of child abuse, promptly thought “mid-term election issue.”

OK, probably a few more caveats here, but let’s take Assrocket’s grandiose conspiracy theories as logical assumptions. OK, that DOESN’T change the fact that the GOP House Leadership selected a god damn child molester (sorry, possible child molester) as their point man on child advocacy. The democrats didn’t phone of Hastert and say, “Gee, could you put Mark Foley in that position, we hear he would be great for that job.” The fact that the Republicans put him in that position is grounds enough to demand a resignation from the person who PUT HIM THERE. The fact that the GOP leadership can’t even keep its own story straight gives doubt to their denials that they didn’t know anything, notwithstanding the actual content of the varying stories of who knew what and when.

If the wingnuts had any shred of intellectual integrity, they would on some level acknowledge that putting a child molester in Foley’s Leadership position is ONE MASSIVE FUCKUP that CANNOT be spun positively for their side. The buck doesn’t stop at ABC. The buck doesn’t stop with Nancy Pelosi or any Democrat. The buck stops with the people who put Foley in his position where he could do maximum damage he could and failed in their responsibilities to protect the pages from harm, regardless of what they knew or when. Unluckily for the wingnuts, the American people understand THAT.


Sadly, No!’s failure to denounce publicly the Democrats’ refusal to come clean as to their role in the Foley scandal raises serious questions as to the site’s complicity in the cover up.


They Live- I came for the politics, I stayed for the savage, complete with repeated kneeings to the groin 7-minute fistfight between twin gods Rowdy Roddy Piper and Keith David, which inspired the South Park’s savage 7-minute cripple-fight.


The moment anyone mentions Impeachment, he will shriek “Coup d’état!”


I am Mark Foley and I approve of e-mail messages to teenage boys.


I am Denny the Hutt Speaker of the House, and I approve of Adorable Girlfriend Mark Foley.


It’s really not surprising that the party of Donald Segretti, Oliver North, and the Arkansas Project would instinctively conclude that there’s a Democrat behind every ill-timed revelation. Covert ops, foreign and domestic, are the lifeblood of the GOP, and they simply assume that everyone does it.


There’s nothing to see here. Move on and go about your business.


Mark Foley
Denny Hastert
Tohy Snow
George Herbert Walker Bush
Every @sshole in denial on the planet


The Democrats made us poke your kid.


I mean, what’s the big deal? This prankster beast of a page isn’t even in his teens right now (if he ever was). And is any of this really all that different from ordinary, everyday fraternity hazing? I mean those guys stroke each other all the time, and I don’t hear Nancy Pelosi of fat Michael Moore complaining about teh fags anyways. Those IMs were merely the idle chit-chat and friendly antics of a fine, upstanding Christian man, certainly no fag (though he was abused and addicted donchaknow), and I’ll reserve judgment until all the facts of the investigation are in, but Democrat attempts to cover up his misdeeds endanger the lithe bodies of current Congressional pages and other sexy teenage boys, solely to advance their own political interests. (Clenis.)

Submitted: Does John Hinderaker enjoy the smell of 15-year old ball hair? One would certainly hope not. But it is obviously a question that needs to be investigated and answered.


Or perhaps that should read “15-year olds’ ball hair”?


Dan, it would be irresponsible not to speculate.


Powerline entry, November 8, 2006:

Various Left controlled Media are reporting a Congressional sweep for Demorats, a claim for which there is no evidence. One wonders, though, whether that is exactly what our brave president Bush and the Republican Party did.

Brian tha Texas Transplant

Now THAT’s funny…good one Kathleen…


Yeah, guys for whom there’s no evidence of wrongdoing resign that fast ALL THE TIME.

I mean, come on! De Lay hung in there until he was forced to resign. On the Dem side, that guy with the cash in his freezer hung around.. Shit, Duke Cunningham stuck around as long as he could.

Congresscritters simply don’t up and quit that fast unless there’s some real dirt on ’em.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the Republicans are trying to keep this about emails and IMs. The guy probably did fuck a buncha kids. I’d put money on it.


Even better will be after we take back the House and Senate and start investigating like Republicans.


The Democrats’ refusal to admit their complicity in covering up the Foley scandal proves that they are deeply unserious in the War on Terror (TM).

Defeatocrats … Iraq …. 9/11 … Bill Clinton ..GAAAAAAAAHHH

(cue sound of wingnuts’ head exploding)

I hope every single Democratic House candidate takes this issue and pounds their Grand Old Perverts opponent over the head with it.


The guy probably did fuck a buncha kids. I’d put money on it.

That’d be immoral.


I’d say it’s a low point for Powerline, but that would imply that there have been high ones.


Hey, at least John called them the Democratic Party.


steve_e – that struck me too, I read it twice, to make sure it wasn’t “Democrat party”.
Bubba – it’d be immoral to bet on it, or it would be immoral for him to have done it?


Bubba – it’d be immoral to bet on it, or it would be immoral for him to have done it?

Both of course. Just ask a Republican.


The only possibility here is that all of these people (and I use that term loosely) have forgotten what it was to be human and that the Neanderthal never really vanished. Rather they became Republiman…

As I understand current research, the Neanderthals protected the weaker members of their clans to the best of their abilities — we have found Neanderthals skeletons with serious deformities and old healed wounds that indicate even “nonproductive” members were cared for and feed. Also, they had at least rudimentary aesthetic urges, and buried their dead with valuable trinkets and positioned in a way to suggest some kind of religious belief. So the Neanderthals seem to have been communitarians, or at least progressives, not Republicans. My own theory is that the core of the current Republican party, the hard-core Neocons and Libertardians, are mutant reptiles who somehow evolved in parallel with primates without achieving the higher forebrain emotions, any sense of commensual behavior, or even thermoregulation. But that’s just me.

As for Buttrocket’s bluster, it’s all about the Big Lie. His Repub masters have told him that Foley was “really” a Democrat, and he believes implicitly in everything his masters tell him (this week). Those masters, being slightly smarter than Buttrocket, have decided never to use the name “Mark Foley” unless the word “Democrat” is in the same sentence, in the hope that their (very) Base will conflate the two. It’s the depth of dishonesty, but it’s worked for them before (e.g., “John Kerry” and “coward”, or “Howard Dean” and “madman”). I’d respect Buttrocket a tiny bit more if I believed he had any idea he was being played this way.


Assrocket and the rest have simply gone off the deep end. If the Dems take Congress, they’ll spend the next 2 years concocting conspiracy theories about imaginary shit and flogging ’em like crazy.

It’s gonna be like a vector study: what happens when you start out with a “reality” that’s a few degrees off plumb and keep going in that direction.

I can’t imagine what they’ll come up with, because my mind simply isn’t that twisted. But it’ll be as creepy and sick as Dennis Hopper on meth.

Smiling Mortician

it’s all about the Big Lie

The Big Lie . . . hmm . . . now what does that remind me of?

Oh, wait! I know! Has anyone seen Gary? Hey, Gary! They’re playing your song! Where are you?


Do we have a Foley Scandal Drinking Game yet? (Take a drink every time some Republican alludes to the Clenis; every time Fox news ‘mixes up’ Rs and Ds…)


“Hastert and Boehner need to get on the same page or Republican troubles will continue to mount.”

hehe. Mount up that page and stay the course guys.


They’d better erect a stiff front, or the Democrats will reach around come November.


Assrocket’s Razor: When the simplest explanation doesn’t fit your personal worldview, the stupidest, most convulted explanation, one which most likely requires insane leaps of “logic”, is probably the right one.


In the end, you have to wonder if winning would be all that good for the wingnut commentariat out there. Look at how their work has suffered during the Shrub Administration… for example, Kathleen Parker used to craft columns from the purest spite and vitriol during the Clinton Administration. Hell, the only signs of life her column shows these days is when she gets a chance to… attack Clinton. Otherwise, it’s feeble and sad. Multiply that a few hundred times over, and you’ve got the Mighty Wurlitzer in a nutshell. Sure, they regularly attack Dems even now, and they certainly aren’t against kicking a fella when he’s down, but it’s just not the same, somehow. What they’d probably enjoy most would be for Dems to narrowly take back just one house of Congress, with a razor-thin majority (certainly not a veto-proof one). That way, they get to keep their Idiot-Savant-In-Chief, one of the Congressional chambers, and the courts, so the vast majority of power is maintained, but they then have even more license to blame everything bad on the Dems. Heaven for them!


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