Nightmare Fuel and Hypocrisy
Where’s a drunk Kurt Russell when you need him?
The BalrogPhyllis Schlafly, Christianist Host:
Facts and Fallacies About Paycheck Fairness
Readers… I… have a horrible secret to confess. Something so unthinkable and shocking that you may very well want to make sure your small children are out of the room house planet before you dare scroll onward, for it is raw poison to that most holy of objects, the family.
I’m… fuck, it’s so hard to say… I identify as a feminist. And I’ve done so for a long time… I know this is a shock and may very well ruin your marriages through the much researched transitive power of cooties, but I needed to get this off my chest, much like a bra that I am burning.
I hope together we can move past this horrible revelation… but I understand if you need time and shorters.
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- The reason for the pay gap between men and women isn’t because of endemic sexism, but rather because women are naturally geared towards unfair slave labor due to the fact that their delicate lady brains just can’t handle the working world. Also, they are secretly making more than men and thus should be discriminated against more for daring to defy me by getting jobs in the first place!
Holy Jesus rimming the Apostles in a line, Phyllis Fucking Schlafly. I gotta admit that it is kinda surreal that I get to take a potshot at her. I mean, Phyllis Schlafly is kinda like a Dark and Violent God (you know, like OT Jehovah) among the right.
I mean, this was the woman who successfully demonized the word feminism to the point where even people who’ve dedicated years of their life to activism sometimes try and shy away from the term. This was the fucker who blocked the Equal Rights Amendment by getting a substantial amount of women to vote against their own interests in petty resentments. She had a hand in selling anti-abortion zealotry to the religious right greatly aiding its use in anti-woman activism and has long railed against marriages that are not about ownership of women, women working outside of the home, contraceptive access, etc…
Any version of Ladies Against Women activism you can think of, she was there, performing actions of gross hypocrisy as she devoted her life to living outside her home and far away from her children in order to tell women to get back in their spiked box. She is the gold standard for conservatives because no one else in their little wheelhouse besides maybe Reagan, Cheney, or Thurmond has ever been so politically successful in delaying much needed rights at the politics level…
She is wingnut royalty.
Which kind of hides the fact that she’s actually completely failed every single social fight she’s championed. Feminism might be a dirty word in a lot of circles and the ERA was stabbed through the heart, but as far as the real social changes she wanted to make? More women than ever are working outside the home and it’s become not only normalized, but expected. Gay rights have advanced leaps and bounds despite her moralizing. And marriage as a trap is starting to look like a gross anachronism.
Every social fight she has championed has not only passed her decrepit ass by, but has seemingly increased by leaps and bounds just to piss the old bird off.
So, I have to admit a kind of glee to seeing her reduced to sputtering and stammering about the crazy kids today and their idea of being paid for their work.
President Barack Obama and his feminist friends have been trotting out their tiresome slogan that women are paid only 77 cents for every dollar a man earns.
PAYGAP ISNOTREAL?
Every reputable scholar who has commented has proved that this is a notorious falsehood that anyone should be embarrassed to use.
Citation is so lonely. Why all friends abandon citation? Citation has been good. Citation sorry.
Also, didya know that decades upon decades of meticulously collected research can just blow out the window if you just really really don’t want it to be true and make a dismissive jerkoff motion? Sure, you laugh now, but you’ll be laughing when I disaffect myself into some sweet ass flight powers! Geronimooooooooooooo… ow!
U.S. law calls for equal pay for equal work, but the feminist slogan is not based on equal work.
True, I suppose it does more tend to a general “equal rights”, but I feel the implicit request especially as with regards the workplace-
Women work fewer hours per day, per week, per year. They spend fewer years as full-time workers outside the home, avoid jobs that require overtime, and choose jobs with flexibility to take time off for personal reasons. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, men are twice as likely as women to work more than 40 hours a week.
Ohhhhh. You wanted to try selling this rotted chestnut as the “reason” that men are totes overpaid. Because women are just darn lazy and putting in 77% of the hours of virile sweaty men.
Which would be a fresh coat of bullshit if there hadn’t already been decades of research carefully controlling every factor to the point where the 77% is entirely based on hourly rates of work for people in the same industries.
So nice try, but hey, bonus points on trying to use the fact that women are discriminated out of higher paying, more stable, salaried positions in favor of underpaid hourly work as an example of women’s inherent laziness rather than any actual inequity in the system.
But hey, I suppose if I was a star on the right for shitting out paint by numbers misogyny due to having the much desired “identifies as a woman” trait, maybe I’d assume every working woman was as lazy as I am… I dunno, I’m also assuming doing anything for the right-wing causes overdoses of stupid and selfish.
Women place a much higher value on pleasant working conditions: a clean, comfortable, air-conditioned office with congenial co-workers.
THOSE BASTARDS! Trying to improve their working conditions, rather than accept the rightful Triangle Shirtwaist fire end for being so unclean and poverty stricken as to demean themselves and all of womanhood by working for a living.
Men, on the other hand, are more willing to endure unpleasant working conditions to earn higher pay, doing dirty, dangerous outside work. In 2012, men suffered 92 percent of work-related deaths.
Real men love working in shitty situations with abusive coworkers and bosses, because they understand that every aggravation they are not paid enough to deal with is just another opportunity to prove how macho and hard-suffering they are.
I mean, what would men rather have? To be well-treated and have safe working conditions where they weren’t risking life and limb on the behalf of an exploitative boss who steals all the profit or to exploit those same men while sitting in a comfortable air-conditioned office where everyone knows well enough to be terrified of you so as not to report all your “joking emails” about how female staff need to be topless more often in order to claim a bizarre sense of oppression from women being literally forced out of most of the decent paying factory jobs.
Sigh, I will never understand how anti-feminists manage to convince the world that feminists were the ones who hated men.
Also, I don’t think we need to get into the way that “work-related deaths and accidents” statistics ignore the way that women are forced out of jobs where that is a notable risk factor due to sexism or the way that those jobs pay better and have more support and social services than the jobs women actually are forced to get.
Nor do we have to note that all of those well-trod MRA chestnuts ignore the way those numbers melt when you compare it to the death rate of things like childbirth or pregnancy (even in this modern day and age), so instead I’ll note how these little sojourns of “we died on the front lines so you could be kept in a tiny box where you know your place” whining often straight up don’t count violence and death in the sex worker industry and ignores things like sexual violence. Largely because that would reveal that lower-class women in those industries face a lot more violence, pain, and risk of death than their equivalent counterparts working in say, a construction site and certainly their counterparts working as a software engineer or as a professional misogynist in Washington.
But hey, it’s not like women’s suffering has never been erased to overplay the “noble sacrifices” of poor men*.
If a man is supporting his family,
Snrk… as if that has been a legitimate possibility (or ever was a possibility) for anyone outside the upper class. And on that note, does it still count as “supporting your family” when you view your income as a form of terrorism to keep your terrified house/sex slave and your property children from running away?
I mean, I’m trying to view your anger at the notion of women having economic power and options outside a man’s largesse as something other than a clarion call to the abuser’s lobby, but it’s a little hard when you keep circling back to here.
at the peak of his career, he often works longer hours to maximize his earnings. By contrast, a successful woman who reaches a high rank in her career is more likely to reduce her working hours.
Okay, first off, bullshit. And not even fresh innovative bullshit. This crap was disproven back in the 80s and you haven’t updated your talking points since then. No wonder you think that women are lazily reducing their working hours, since you seem to have retired on the big pile of money you earned abandoning your “wifely duties” as you would see them and grifting the misogynist set years ago.
Second, let’s assume a magical topsy-turny fantasy realm called Douchetopia where this was actually in any way true. Women who could afford to do so, due to reaching a level of economic and comfort, choose to reduce the amount of time spent away from their life and interests and men just dive more and more into it, abandoning their friends, families, loved ones, and interests, all in service to earning more and more money that serves no additional useful purpose than making one feel like the biggest dick in the executive washroom.
Um, okay Douchetopians, in that case, why the fuck should we view the dude as the moral one? I mean, hoarding money you don’t need and which brings you no additional joy to spend is a giant drain on the production of the economy as we’ve seen in our sad variant on Douchetopia that we call reality. Additionally, assuming another right-wing fantasy that the rich people who “work harder” when they get in this head space to be true, they are also robbing others of the opportunity to make a living wage and eliminating the chance for another person to be employed. Hell, if god forbid, some asshole from our world were to infiltrate Douchetopia, they might even demand that all of their underpaid peons stay late frantically working and similarly neglecting their personal lives because it makes them feel like a big shot to be surfing secretary porn and avoiding going home to see your children and that she-beast who demands to be unchained from the stove.
Heck, if you look at fantastical lands in our own Rea’Lity realm of mystery, such as the Den of Mark, you can see that reducing hours of the work week increasing innovation, entrepreneurship, leaves people fresher, and increases morale and productivity because people don’t feel they are wasting their lives working a dead-end job no one in their right mind should give a shit about for a sadistic boss who thinks more hours worked are a good unto itself.
I mean, thank Bob this is all bullshit or you’d be a fucking sociopath for supporting that shit**.
All these reasons for women voluntarily choosing lower pay are now beyond dispute among those who have looked at the facts. But even those explanations for the alleged pay “gap” are still only part of the story.
Citation is so lonely. Citation just curl up in snow. Citation feel tired. So very tired.
Oi, I should just be glad that this “choices” bullshit that the right-wing is trotting out isn’t devolving into the usual, “women sometimes spawn larvae in their egg hatches, therefore all women everywhere love being discriminated out of higher paying jobs due to this sexist bullshit…
Oh fuck, that’s the next sentence isn’t i-
Perhaps an even more important reason for women’s lower pay is the choices women make in their personal lives, such as having children. Women with children earn less, but childless women earn about the same as men.
Of course it does, honey. Of course it does. Our filthy breeding holes and the “choices” we make for them (but not in any way where we, say, have any choices about when we breed) totally means we absolutely love making less money than men who’ve been at the company the same amount of time (even the ones who’ve taken regular absences for whatever bullshit they could think of when we’ve never missed a day) and being passed over for promotions or forced into multiple layers of part-time work that has us jumping through endless hoops where we can’t even get a sniffle because we literally can’t afford it (much less pregnant). I mean, I may one day go on a couple of month absence and that would be awful. Well, not me, but hey, I don’t mind taking a hit for the rest of the team. And I’m totally willing to take on new manager Jeff’s slack while he goes on a several month journey to India to “find himself”. I mean, sure I should get this cancer checked out someday, but it’s a minor concern next to the fear that I may ONE DAY BREED (or not)!
Another fact is the influence of hypergamy,
Wait… what?
Another fact is the influence of hypergamy,
Well holy fuckballs peeking out the side of Jesus’s tasteful and not at all erotic loincloth… a gen-u-ine MRAism. Fuck… how do I even begin to explain the batshittery wrapped up in this one sentence. Um… er… Phylly, could you lend a sister a hand?
which means that women typically choose a mate (husband or boyfriend) who earns more than she does. Men don’t have the same preference for a higher-earning mate.
Ah, perfect! Yeah, so this bit of insanity is part of this giant conspiracy theory popular in “Men’s Rights” circles, interestingly enough based on some of the religious right cuckoo views on women made popular by Schlafly herself.
Basically, it goes that women don’t actually have sexual desires*** or even desire for romantic connections with people that they love… in fact, no one loves anyone else, except maybe poor lonely 20-somethings who are cruelly friendzoned by manipulative bitches. Anyway, these she-creatures only desire is for the wealth and social standing of a social superior, seeing as she lacks any inherent ability to accumulate wealth or social standing without stealing from a man given that all men everywhere are superior to all women anywhere.
But these cruel and callous creatures’ lust for wealth and stolen power only crave the most high status menz. Those who are deemed alpha. And these women flutter around these one or two guys who are probably assholes anyways and ignore the super nice dudes who live in their parent’s basement ranting about bitches on the internet while adjusting their cheeto-stained fedoras.
And this is a BIOTRUTH! So any uppity wimminz who notes that this isn’t how women work or that they themselves have been in a long-term relationship with someone who is poor or unemployed and that they’ve mostly just disliked relationships where the guy threw a hissy-fit because they couldn’t handle not making as much as a lowly woman and that made them feel insecure in their toxic masculinity. And that most people prefer loving connections between equals and often find love among those they regularly engage with which only tends to separate due to social factors that delegitimizes women’s work and-
While women prefer to HAVE a higher-earning partner, men generally prefer to BE the higher-earning partner in a relationship. This simple but profound difference between the sexes has powerful consequences for the so-called pay gap.
Oh I’m sorry, I forgot the “BIOTRUTH” part that says that women and men are inherently wired this way because admitting something is due to social inertia makes sad mens’ balls drop off. My bad.
And yeah, the irony is that this is indeed based in something. A number of more conservative men are still left feeling awkward in the rapid gain of women’s rights in the workplace, where women aren’t only lower-class workers one can feel justified abusing because “sluts”, but can have aspirations for any job they want. I mean, the previous generations of dipshit misogynists told them they could have a pliant house slave who’d operate like a robot cook/prostitute if they only were white enough and occasionally wore a suit. And even if you were poor and beaten down, you could at least be superior to your poor wife who’d never get ideas above her station if she didn’t want to starve or be forced into prostitution (which was another kind of death sentence).
And that was ripped from them. Now, sad devotees to the gospel of toxic masculinity are stuck around the rotting corpse of what the sitcoms sold them feeling bitter and confused every time a female relative or loved one passes them by and reveals their sad obsession to be a con job that erases the real villain of poverty.
And so, because of the iron rule of IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION, that means that women themselves love being shoved into their “place” and reminded that BIOLOGY DEMANDS they be considered the lesser because of their gender. Also that said women should only crave relationships with men rather than women ever, even if they are sexually and romantically attracted to women, because BIOTRUTHS state that inherent inequality is the only way a romantic relationship can exist.
Suppose the pay gap between men and women were magically eliminated. If that happened, simple arithmetic suggests that half of women would be unable to find what they regard as a suitable mate.
Obviously, I’m not saying women won’t date or marry a lower-earning men, only that they probably prefer not to. If a higher-earning man is not available, many women are more likely not to marry at all.
Heh, for all the blather right-wingers make about the fags and the dykes, I think they should thank those groups for saving marriage. I mean, I know they are still pining for the “traditional” days when a woman knew she was the property of the first man to impregnate her and could only hope that the regular beatings, marital rape, and unpaid and unacknowledged labor would be offset by occasional shiny trinkets and when marriage stood for dominance and the superiority of men, but those days were always going to die.
And the course that was set through the 60s and 70s seemed to be that marriage itself would disintegrate and be wiped away, it’s potential forever poisoned by this legacy of abuse and domination.
And then came the queers. And feminist straight people. And they showed that marriage could be about love and equals. And they were so successful that that is what marriage is now about, relationships between equals that actually like each other and want to do right by one another. A connection of love instead of economic domination and entrapment.
It’s understandable that wingnuts would mourn their idea of marriage, that the queers broke it and made it this perversion of what they thought the whole point should be. But I think we are all better off for it and for retaining what could still be special and unique about the institution.
In colleges, there are no gender separations in courses of study, and students can freely choose their majors. There are no male and female math classes. But women generally choose college courses that pay less in the labor market.
Man, I wonder what sexists are going to do when the last few majors that are dominated by men due to intense sexism and bigotry go the way of the egalitarian-devoured dodo?
I mean, they used to have all of college, most forms of employment, definitely all the sciences and humanities. And one by one, the social sciences, humanities, english literature, psych, biology, chemistry, leaving only a tiny bastion of physics, math, engineering where there is still a disparity.
And sure, there is a lot of entrenched bitter sexism to keep that a man-only space. Every physics major and math major I’ve met has reported an endless gauntlet of intense sexual harassment and outright hostility just for attending class and the news is rife with yet another woman in engineering being utterly decimated with rape threats and constant harassment just for doing her job.
But so did all the other majors and eventually enough brave women broke through and made safe paths for those who followed. And so on that day, I wonder what the sexists will turn to? My bet is that they’ll abandon college altogether and say that getting an education is a sign of feminist brainwashing (like they already pretty much do) and state that the real manly sign of being a super macho man is dropping out in high school and joining one’s local libertarian club or something else properly male-dominated. I dunno, skepticism, video games, and erotic versions of My Little Pony as signs of intellectual superiority?
Those are the choices that women themselves make.
You know, there are lines that hide that “choices” is being used here entirely as a cudgel against those uppity women who think they have valid life choices in society other than being the incubator for any male comer’s seed and that this right-wing tactic is entirely about pulling a “liberal fascism” “up is down” trick where they attempt to poison the words liberals use in order to invalidate their very real concerns and arguments through infectious stupid…
But it’s not lines like these. In fact, lines like these could be used in place of lighthouses due to the glaring obviousness of the transparent stunt.
Those choices contribute to the pay gap, just as much as the choice of a job with flexible hours and pleasant working conditions.
Sure, we dismiss your well-researched concerns with a bit of condescending “there there” bullshit and a passive-aggressive bit of shifting the blame to the victim, but we deny the accusation that we’re waging a war on women because…
Um, the truth gives the men I work for sad bonerz?
The pay gap between men and women is not all bad
Pfft, lady problems, amirite fellas?
Caring about discrimination and economic injustice just means they’re on the rag!
The pay gap between men and women is not all bad because it helps to promote and sustain marriages.
Oh right, the pay gap is awesome, because it forces people to adopt those totally natural and not at all artificial gender roles that are totes “necessary” for a healthy marriage (ignore that cute gay couple in the corner (no, bad Pup, no making out while I’m making a bigoted argument)).
And the fact that the only way we can still force people to follow these “natural” roles is through economic discrimination and force is in no way a sign that we’re full of shit and this is about as natural as wearing clothes and eating with a fork… um, er… LOOK A DISTRACTION! Woosh!
Since husband and wife generally pool their incomes into a single economic unit, what really matters is the combined family income, not the pay gap between them.
Yeah, all you girls just need to marry a rich man, move halfway across the country from him and pay an underpaid maid to do all the duties of raising your children while you pursue a long and sustained career about how all women should be forced to never do what you did.
And if you follow that recipe for “success” and thus avoid all the punishments we dole out for failing our broken ass system, then we’ll yell at you for being “hypergamous” and use you as a cudgel to ensure that no one like you ever earns enough to live on her own.
And ignore how this seems to mostly based around using economic terrorism to force people into loveless heterosexual marriages for the sake of raw survival.
Also ignore how said poor heterosexual couples probably would like it a lot if the woman was allowed to earn more per hour thus decreasing the load and stress on both of them to neglect childcare and self-needs in our broken ass rat race of a capitalist nightmare.
Why? Because our masturbatory fantasies about June Cleaver justify all manner of punitive bullshit.
Sigh… and the right wonders why it’s bleeding more women and poor voters than a hemophiliac taking a blood thinner.
In two segments of our population, the pay gap has virtually ceased to exist. In the African-American community and in the millennial generation (ages 18 to 32), women earn about the same as men, if not more.
Hey, uppity wimminfolk? Pay discrimination getting you down? Well, you’ll be glad to hear that in demographics that are equally as fucked as you are, that pay gap as completely vanished in the form of a giant race to the bottom! Doesn’t that make you feel better, given that you clearly are also a sociopath who only cares about relative standing to other groups rather than anything so inane as “rights”?
What? That’s not enough! Well, fuck you too bitch! P.S. vote for us.
It just so happens that those are the two segments of our population in which the rate of marriage has fallen the most. Fifty years ago, about 80 percent of Americans were married by age 30; today, less than 50 percent are.
Totes. A lack of marriage (as narrowly defined as a house-slave acquisition program by narrow-minded Christianist bigots) is 100% responsible for all the economic discrimination exacerbated by racism as well as the collapsed economy that prevents young people from starting careers.
And it’s not like issues such as economic desperation or the decimation of a population in service to racist drug enforcement might, just might affect marriage rates as well, seeing as how marriage is culturally sold as a thing done exclusively by people in stable economic situations.
Nope, if all the lazy niggers and young whippersnappers just got off their lazy butts and got married (to proper opposite sexed peoples), then all their problems would just disappear (warning offer void when pursued and Bigotry Inc. assumes no responsibility if you get married while poor and still remain poor due to it having no bearing on any real economic factor).
Just a coincidence?
No… just a complete inability to understand causality or correlation.
I think not. The best way to improve economic prospects for women is to improve job prospects for the men in their lives, even if that means increasing the so-called pay gap.
Let’s be frank, lady folk, there ain’t no way the toxic masculinity culture is ever going to let your lady bits have full and equal access to society, so the best you can hope for is that some man you know might get access and be willing to lend a little in exchange for a blowjob or twelve thousand.
I mean, do you want to work for your money or not?
The real economic story of the past 30 years
Is that Reaganomics and every other piece of conservative wishful thinking have been proven the obvious lies they always were and the only way to regain a strong economy in this country is to repeat the extensive public works programs that made this country an economic powerhouse in the 50s? Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing. Isn’t it nice when two people of different politics can join together and-
is that women’s pay has effectively risen to virtual parity, but men’s pay has stagnated and thousands of well-paid blue-collar jobs have been shipped to low-wage countries.
Globalization too? Anything else you want to try and blame on women thinking they are people? Global Warming? The Cubs never winning a World Series? The Kennedy Assassination? The skies the limit here.
Also nice attempt at a ju-jitsu backflip there. What? Wage gap? No, no, no, it is really women who are paid the dollar to every man’s 77 cents. What ho, there is no oppression you possess that we can’t co-opt and attempt to staple onto ourselves!
Nobody should be surprised that the marriage rate has fallen, the age of first marriage has risen, and marriage, in general, has become unstable.
That doesn’t even follow.
And it really does hammer home amongst all the confused conservatives whining about co-ed women in the workforce, niggers in the White House, sluts getting contraceptive, and faggots getting wed just how much the conservative policy of living in a bubble of fantasy is finally starting to burst.
These delusional old bats could get some traction with the scared death cultists hoping the nuclear bomb would wipe out the atheists and the jews, but now the party is over and everyone wants to actually address all these real problems that cropped up in the meantime.
The debate is over on whether marriage should be about love or kidnapping, on whether wimminfolk and coloreds can be allowed to participate in our economy and vote, and whether or not queers should be allowed to do that stuff to the soil that makes God send hurricanes to take out churches.
We won and even the most successful old fossil like Schlafly is forced to play out like a senile old organ grinder winding a rusty box. Forever out of touch and at best doomed to be forgotten as just one more speed bump to what will be a no duh. No more regarded than Orval Faubus.
And no more remembered.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Oh by the way, Happy Belated Zombie Appreciation Day everybody! We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*Sacrifices they neither asked for, nor likely actually wanted. I mean, I know I’m not exactly an accurate barometer on this issue anymore, but I imagine most men would on average prefer not to be killed so their boss can save an extra 10 cents on the quarterly report.
**Ha! j/k you are still a sociopath even though it is bullshit.
***Yes, I am aware of the irony that is me having to argue this point.
****Also, I’m super excited about an opportunity that I’m currently checking on whether it is okay to disclose to the general public or not. I’ll keep you posted as I hear more. Let’s just say, Convention Panel Presenter Cerberus may be a thing soon.
PAYGAP ISNOTREAL?
Not for her, she’s made a pretty penny playing the reactionary dowager empress.
Ah, Syphlis Schlafly – the Ur-Troll Den Mom of the Reagan Devolution.
“Greenspan ph’nglui Thatcher mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl Bush fhtagn!”
She makes a pretty penny, but does she make as much as the men doing the same work? (or whatever you call what she does)
An ugly penny.
People who are nasty when they’re younger generally don’t improve with age.
She’s a prime example of that.
And after a flight of Canada geese passed overhead, the cry of the common loon was heard, right after sunrise.
Another take on the “women want breadwinners, men want to be breadwinners” meme: http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=3333
Pay gap doesn’t exist.
Pay gap that doesn’t exist should stay so women can marry up.
K.
Happy Belated Zombie Appreciation Day everybody!
thx Cerb!
Paygap isreal. I’m working with a dick right now, and making more than the ladies up in here.
Wait, that came out wrong.
And yet, it gives me hope that the neo-cons keep this bitter sack of hate around.
Are the ladies asking for more money? Better wheel some cobweb covered near corpse out into the carefully dimmed light, let it croak out a speech it has made 11 million times before, and then get it back in the fridge before bits start to drop off.
Yeah, that will get the
youngmiddle agedoldpre-deceasedrubesvotersdonors excited.Pay gap doesn’t exist.
Pay gap that doesn’t exist should stay so women can marry up.
When an ass engages in cognitive dissonance, I call it cognitive assonance.
Jesus Christ is a pancake, would someone throw a bucket of water on her?!?
Happy Earth Day! I’m listening to an “ask a climatologist” segment on the local NPR affiliate and the one thing running through my head is “she sounds (ironically) hot”. YOW!
Too tired to read through the whole pile of bullshit (hers, not Cerb’s), but it strikes me from skimming that most of what she says involves taking the things that are only true because of the current inequality, asserting that those things are natural and immutable, and then using them to justify the inequality. (The old right wing chestnut).
E.G. women marrying men with higher income levels. If the average man earns a dollar for even 77 cents a woman makes, then of course there will be more women marrying men with higher income levels than vice versa – the math makes it impossible for it to be otherwise. Schlafly takes this factoid, asserts that it proves that women somehow inherently WANT to marry someone with higher income levels, and uses that to justify the current income disparity, getting the causality exactly backwards.
E.G. “men prefer unpleasant working conditions.” Women were quite often banned outright from many of those “unpleasant working conditions” fields – until very very recently, military units like special forces were still closed to women. So, for fairly fucking obvious reasons, there are less women special forces than men. Schlafly takes this fact and uses it to prove that men somehow WANT these jobs more than women, even though until incredibly recently women couldn’t have held them even if they wanted to.
Women work fewer hours per day, per week, per year. They spend fewer years as full-time workers outside the home, avoid jobs that require overtime, and choose jobs with flexibility to take time off for personal reasons. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, men are twice as likely as women to work more than 40 hours a week.
…
Women place a much higher value on pleasant working conditions: a clean, comfortable, air-conditioned office with congenial co-workers.
as a woman who has consistently put in at least 40 hours a week and usually another 10-20 for most of her adult life, and as one who hasn’t been able to pick and choose ‘pleasant’ working conditions or co-workers, let me just offer phyllis a giant ‘fuck you’ for the millions of women like me…
Phyllis Schlafly? We’re in trouble now. Let’s hope the GOP doesn’t decide to appoint her as their spokeswoman in their new outreach campaign to win over the women’s vote. That would be CATASTROPHIC for Democrats!
Phyllis Schlafly? We’re in trouble now. Let’s hope the GOP doesn’t decide to appoint her as their spokeswoman in their new outreach campaign to win over the women’s vote. That would be CATASTROPHIC for Democrats!
Heh.
You know the irony? If they put a person in charge of the GOP who was actually capable of appealing to women, minorities, millennials, poor people et al in large enough quantities to start winning elections without vote suppression… they I wouldn’t give a shit if they won. Because it would mean the GOP was finally sane again, capable of fielding candidates who have something to offer to people other than rich white men.
Naturally, the odds of that actually happening are nonexistent.
Dear FSM I didn’t know that twatwaffle was still alive. I haz a sad nao.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, men are twice as likely as women to work more than 40 hours a week.
Even assuming this is true, SO FUCKING WHAT, PHYL?
All these reasons for women voluntarily choosing lower pay are now beyond dispute
i have never once in my entire life ‘voluntarily’ chose lower pay…
and all of a sudden now having children is a ‘choice’? really, phyllis? seems to me you’ve fought preeeeeeettttty hard against this notion…either directly (no abortions evar!) or by shaming women who chose or have to work or make the conscious decision to not have children…or wait to have children until they have a more stable income…
thanks goodness phyllis had the piss-pot full of money she did so she could ‘found’ things left and right while having kids and having the freedom to just stay home when her husband told her she was spending too much time away from it…what a fucking bint…
If they put a person in charge of the GOP who was actually capable of appealing to women, minorities, millennials, poor people et al in large enough quantities to start winning elections without vote suppression… they
I wouldn’t give a shit if they wonwould be hounded and badgered by the tea partiers, Fox News and all the idiots on talk radio until they fired that person.Cultural Anthropology is not my field, but when I compare myself to conservative thought-leaders, I feel like I’ve got an honorary PhD. It’s not just that their sacred norms are American, white hetero, or relatively recent. (It’s odd to confront a “conservatism” that pretty clearly took shape during the middle 20th century, when its older proponents were young adults.) It’s that it has negligible cultural basis outside the movement. The movement has transfigured and confabulated everything it’s fetishized or demonized. To describe it as Christian, for example, you need a buttload of asterisks and qualifications. (Thought experiment: is Rastafari clearly more Judeo-Christian than, say, “Prosperity Gospel” evangelical protestantism?)
It’s too bad, because in the wide world of real culture, questions about men and women and work and marriage and human nature can have all kinds of fascinating answers (and some bad ones).
Your mom.
your mom goes to college…
Your mom eats crackers and cheese
Dear FSM I didn’t know that twatwaffle was still alive. I haz a sad nao.
I wouldn’t, Pup. As Cerb pointed out, this desiccated hater has had to watch pretty much all the things she idealized, fetishized, lied about and fought for be marginalized and slide slowly away. How do you think she felt when gays started getting married, and were allowed in the military? How about when birth control became near-universal? How do you think she cried herself to sleep when a black man won the Presidency, TWICE?
How do you think she is going to feel when a Democratic woman does?
It almost makes me want to believe in a deity with a snarky sense of humor that has kept her alive long enough to see all her work disappeared…like tears in rain.
To describe it as Christian, for example, you need a buttload of asterisks and qualifications. (Thought experiment: is Rastafari clearly more Judeo-Christian than, say, “Prosperity Gospel” evangelical protestantism?)
You’re describing the net result of religion in politics. When Madison and Jefferson et al were forming the Constitution, they very clearly remembered the English Civil Wars, the Inquisition, The Schism, etc. In modern terms, the Reaganites have had to bastardize Christian values to make corporate and personal greed a virtue rather than a vice. In fact they resurrected the “nobility via divinity” trope that earned the Middle Ages the nickname Dark Ages.
Word, even unto your mother.
I think a certain Dragon-King will be showing up any minute now.
i’ve been trying to come up with a mom and dkw bon mot, but have been heretofore unsuccessful…
no, actually i am moar disappoint than sad…
No, actually, dkw’s mom was disappointed.
How do you think she felt when gays started getting married, and were allowed in the military? How about when birth control became near-universal? How do you think she cried herself to sleep when a black man won the Presidency, TWICE?
How do feel? MWAHAHAHAHAHA MWAHAHAHAHA That’s how I feel.
How do feel? MWAHAHAHAHAHA MWAHAHAHAHA That’s how I feel.
seeing someone get kicked into the dust-bint of time is pretty satisfying…
“Dust-bint.”
Phyllis Schlafly.
I LOLed.
I don’t do recipes much but this pressure cooker Thai green chicken curry caught my eye because I’m always interested in new PC recipes. I made few alterations but basically did the recipe. Well, I couldn’t find kabocha squash so I used an acorn squoosh. It. Was. Excellent.
Also FYWP.
Also it _is_ excellent – having leftover for lunch I cooked up jasmine rice in coconut milk with some lemongrass. Mang is this shit good.
I blame the government (any Govt will do for blaming purposes).
dependable renegade.com is an “unknown domain” . Whut the Fk? I want to read watertiger and tengrain and I want to do it NOW !
Things that Pup is eating which I have never even seen :
The latest in a long, long list :
jasmine rice
coconut milk
lemongrass
thai green chicken curry.
True facts.
This is actually part of her old playbook. She and her allies managed to kill the ERA by turning married, stay-at-home wives against single working women.
Suezboo, you can drop Tengrain a line at Mock Paper Scissors. He’s a great guy, unfailingly supportive to small bloggers (I call him the Patron Saint of Small Blogs). I’ve corresponded with him several times via e-mail, and I regret not being able to buy him a drink the last time he came to NY for work.
You gotta put Thai chicken with green curry on your bucket list, Suezboo.
You can find tengrain at mockpaperscissors.com if you really need a fix.
OBS: Jinx!
Toodle-oo, all… gotta go to Brooklyn to drink beer and listen to a science lecture. Until tomorrow, happy Earth Day!
CRA : I hear what you say there but, in that recipe that Pup references, there are like 4 chilis and curry powder. Is it very burny?
Could be … probably should be. I forget some folks don’t like that.
Dammit!
i’ve just recently learned the joys of curry…and now i’m off to meet the daughter’s bf’s foster parents…wish me luck…so far what i know about them makes me very face-punchy…
According to the customary daughter’s-bf-foster-parents-meeting guidelines, neither face nor junk punching is regarded by said daughter and bf as acceptable.
But (shrug) times change.
i’ve just recently learned the joys of curry
Me, I’m starting to put sriracha on EVERYTHING.
neither face nor junk punching is regarded by said daughter and bf as acceptable.
So, head-butting is OK?
Me, I’m starting to put sriracha on EVERYTHING.
I’ve been using that stuff for 20 years and all of a sudden it became hip.
CRA : I hear what you say there but, in that recipe that Pup references, there are like 4 chilis and curry powder. Is it very burny?
It’s curry paste. Thai green curry paste is very mild. The only heat is from the bird’s eye chilies which you can omit or remove the ribs and seeds which is where all the heat is.
I used to enjoy it but starting about fifteen years ago my tolerance for the caliente dropped dramatically. No idea why. I usually halve or quarter the number/amount of hot chilies and get rid of the ribs and seeds. The flavor still comes through,some.
gotta go to Brooklyn to drink beer and listen to a science lecture
Throw a few
batteriesdifficult questions at Pinker for me.neither face nor junk punching is regarded by said daughter and bf as acceptable.
So, head-butting is OK?
Mouth-shitting is an acceptable form of expressing displeasure in any social situation. I recommend sticking with that.
I’ve been using that stuff for 20 years and all of a sudden it became hip.
I know. I’m flying planes now. IN YER BASE PWNING YER COOL STUFF
Mouth-shitting is an acceptable form of expressing displeasure in any social situation.
Thanksgiving at your house must be fun.
So, head-butting is OK?
It is a sign of affection among my people.
Head butting is dangerous – the risk of suffocation is high.
Always a patron saint and never a Saint…
Thanks for the kind words, B-4 and OBS.
Suezboo: the D-R website is up and limping (http://www.dependablerenegade.typepad.com), but I honestly have no idea what is going on. I’m still posting the Happy Hour News Briefs there. I have not heard a peep out of WT in months and I’ve been worried for a while.
PSt Tengrain, thank you so much for coming over here to reassure a lowly commenter.
Yes, watertiger’s silence is very worrying – I truly hope everything is OK with her. Will try your new (to me) connection.
Typepad has been suffering DDOS attacks, and not handling them all that well.
http://techcrunch.com/2014/04/21/say-media-owned-blogging-platform-typepad-enters-day-5-of-on-and-off-ddos-attacks/
I’ve been using that stuff for 20 years and all of a sudden it became hip.
Wait. what the hell? When did I become hip?
Zombies are always hip.
Sometimes they’re nothing but hip, spine, head, and a minimum amount of connective tissue.
Sometimes they’re nothing but hip, spine, head, and a minimum amount of connective tissue.
You’re just jealous.
nothing but hip, spine, head, and a minimum amount of connective tissue.
Case in point: Uncle Les from BrainDead.
I certainly would, because the appeal would be a lie. They’d campaign as the new, kinder, more thoughtful conservatives – remember the Cheney Administration’s “compassionate conservatism”? – and they might relent just a little on the ostentatious displays of bigotry, but after they managed to get a few more Rs elected the new guys would still all vote in lockstep for the same things they always vote for: fewer regulations, a more vitiated social safety net, and most important, more more more tax cuts for millionaires. No, we’re all better off when they reveal their true faces to the voting public.
Sometimes they’re nothing but hip, spine, head, and a minimum amount of connective tissue.
Hmmmm.
“Become a zombie and lose 40 pounds!” could be your new sales pitch.
Throw a few
batteriesdifficult questions at Pinker for me.Now I want to hear the backstory… dish, old chum!
I couldn’t even get a question in edgewise- the house was packed, with a line around the block.
I have not heard a peep out of WT in months and I’ve been worried for a while.
This disturbs me as well. WT and I go back about 10 years, and I have had the pleasure of meeting with her in person on two occasions as well as walking her back to her apartment on one of them. She is beautiful and brilliant, generous and funny as hell. I only hope that she has decided to seek the underground for her purposes.
A number of old friends have fallen off the radar. Time to send some email.
BTW Tengrain, love your work. And the title of your blog…let’s just say I wish I had come up with it.
…
Dinesh D’Souza is about to be in D’jail, it appears:
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/04/23/prosecutors-cuckolded-husbands-tape-proves-dinesh-dsouza-knew-he-broke-campaign-laws/
Dinesh D’Souza is about to be in D’jail, it appears:
Sure hope some bleeding-heart liberal judge doesn’t let him off with a slap on the wrist.
No sir. Tough on crime, that’s what I say.
D’tention
Up D’river
I’ve been using that stuff for 20 years and all of a sudden it became hip.
it’s hip to be square!*
Sometimes they’re nothing but hip, spine, head, and a minimum amount of connective tissue.
You’re just jealous.
thank you for my morning lol…
According to the customary daughter’s-bf-foster-parents-meeting guidelines, neither face nor junk punching is regarded by said daughter and bf as acceptable.
But (shrug) times change.
things went well…they seem like nice people…before we met them, we heard some…not totally disturbing things, but enough to wonder why they became foster parents in the first place…they totally fell in love with the daughter though…big shock, there…
*you are welcome for the huey lewis earworm that will plague you for the rest of the day…
things went well…they seem like nice people…before we met them, we heard some…not totally disturbing things, but enough to wonder why they became foster parents in the first place…they totally fell in love with the daughter though…big shock, there…
Their attitude toward your daughter is the most important thing here. Now for the other important thing… how were the refreshments? Can either of them mix a mean cocktail?
That D’Souza article deserves a much better headline…
“D’oh! D’Souza D’inero D’rama D’eepens”
“D’Souza D’ouble D’eals D’ames, D’ough”
“D’Souza D’estination? D’etention”
D’Souza D’reams D’railed.
how were the refreshments? Can either of them mix a mean cocktail?
they are more like ‘pop-a-top’ kinds of people…
I predict D’Souza’s d’fense will consist largely of d’Nile, d’Nile, d’Nile.
And massive quantities of butthurt, and pearl clutching, of course.
A former aide to the Reagan White House and author of The Roots of Obama’s Rage, D’Souza is charged with using straw donors to illegally contribute $20,000 to the U.S. Senate campaign of Wendy Long, a former school friend of D’Souza’s who unsuccessfully ran against Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) in 2012.
I think it’s important that we remember that accusation is not proof, and if D’Souza wants to be exonerated all he has to do is present evidence that that didn’t happen…
D’Souza’s lawyer, Benjamin Brafman, said in a statement that D’Souza is guilty of nothing more than “an act of misguided friendship” and that the longtime pundit and political operative didn’t know that it was illegal to ask friends to donate money to Long on the promise that D’Souza would reimburse them later.
Oh… wait. He’s admitting it did happen, and his defense is “I’m sorry, I swear I didn’t know?”
Because ignorance of the law is totally a defense, you know. Just ask anyone who’s ever been pulled over by a cop, swore that he didn’t see the signs with the speed limit, and was sent on with a pat on the back and a “just don’t do it again” by the understanding officer.
The federal government, said Brafman, has singled out D’Souza for prosecution due to his “consistently caustic and highly publicized criticism” of Pres. Obama and the Democratic Party.
And of course, we can “single him out” for that because it’s so rare to find anyone in this country who does that.
I certainly would, because the appeal would be a lie. They’d campaign as the new, kinder, more thoughtful conservatives – remember the Cheney Administration’s “compassionate conservatism”? – and they might relent just a little on the ostentatious displays of bigotry, but after they managed to get a few more Rs elected the new guys would still all vote in lockstep for the same things they always vote for: fewer regulations, a more vitiated social safety net, and most important, more more more tax cuts for millionaires. No, we’re all better off when they reveal their true faces to the voting public.
IMO at this point the only way for these demographics (especially nonwhites) to start trusting them would be for them to actually have a record that demonstrates convincingly that they’re not racist nuts – and even then odds are good that they won’t believe it.
Bush made some inroads into the Hispanic vote and even he wasn’t able to win without some serious vote suppression in the state his brother was governing, and then a last minute bailout by the Supreme Court. And now his immigration record’s being held up as proof of what a RINO and liberal he was.
The only way for a Republican candidate to win the trust of these demographics back would be to be the kind of candidate that the system just won’t allow through anymore.
And of course, we can “single him out” for that because it’s so rare to find anyone in this country who does that.
I always get a fun little chuckle when somebody who bemoans the “race card” uses the “you just pickin’ on me cuz I gots the gutz to call out obummer!” defense. Of course this card ISREAL while the race one is a liberal fabrication meant to kill innocent puppies and indoctrinate our children into the gay lifestyle or whatever “WARON” is being waged against poor conservatives these days.
No, we’re all better off when they reveal their true faces to the voting public.
Now if the public would just quit voting for those shitty faces, we could get back to running a country where we can have nice things.
“Perhaps an even more important reason for women’s lower pay is the choices women make in their personal lives, such as having children. Women with children earn less, but childless women earn about the same as men.”
Man I am dizzy from attempting to absorb the colossal CHUTZPAH of this comment—coming from one of the shrillest voices ever in the arena of DENYING women the opportunity even to MAKE this “choice”!
The “MYTH” of the 77 cents has pretty much been validated time and time again by all the competent research. “New Scientist” magazine did an exhaustive study of the m-f pay gap in around 2006 or so. They carefully controlled for level of education, region, age, profession, years of experience and looked at employment in every category. The pay gap sometimes shrank, and sometimed swelled, but it NEVER disappeared. EVER. Averaged between 70-90%. It’s pretty mind blowing when you see that even female BRAIN SURGEONS, for some reason, earn less than male brain surgeons. Why?
I was unaware that surgeons specialize in brains of either sex. That said, I’m sure the claim would be that female brains are much simpler so they’re easier to operate on.
Pity the Limpette, miserably mired in subgamy.
“During a collections move, a Canadian natural history museum discovered that several jars of preserved whale ovaries had dried out. Unfortunately, the specimens were in Bouin’s solution, a preservative that contains picric acid. When dry, picric acid is highly unstable and may explode when exposed to even slight vibrations. The local bomb squad had to be called in to remove the whale ovaries and explode them in the parking lot.”
I would have voted to rehydrate the ovaries, and more importantly the acid, by means of a steam bath. No vibration required.
Vibrating Exploding Ovaraies? Call Fenwick!
Dinesh D’tained!
Irony’s drawn and quartered corpse is moldering in a fetid ditch.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/afa-warns-homosexual-aggression-has-banned-christians-7-common-careers
Remember when they were casting the lgbt quest for equal rights as “demanding special rights?” Yeah, when they don’t get special exemptions from the law, special rights, that’s persecution.
Pup, here’s an even bigger “down the rabbit hole” story– these schmucks said they’d get 30 million to descend on D.C. and block traffic. They’ve already downgraded to 10-20 million, and they’ll probably get two dozen whackos.
From Pup’s link at April 23, 2014 at 21:21:
Teaching – Ms. Gillian John-Charles was kicked out of a doctoral program in education at Roosevelt University for expressing in class her belief that homosexuals aren’t born gay.
My curiosity was piqued. See this right-wing account chock-full of her lawyer’s take on the matter. He’s all over the place, as are the wingers who’re keen on adding an anecdote to their collections. Now, I don’t know what happened, but I WAS able to reach a conclusion about whether the school had some other excuse for dismissing her from the doctoral program:
Her lawyer and the wingers make a big deal about the fact that her GPA was 3.51, because that sounds good, and it’s fine. But they should have withheld the fact that she earned an A or A- in 8 of 12 courses she took. Also good for her, but note the school’s policy (here):
“Students are allowed no more than one grade of C+ or C in the program and must maintain a grade point average of 3.25. Students will be dismissed from the program if the GPA standard is not met, more than one grade of C or C+ is earned, or a grade of C- or lower is earned. In addition, any student found guilty of plagiarism or violating the code published in the Student Handbook, or lacking in professional dispositions, will be dismissed from the program.”
The school cited “dispositional issues,” surely a subjective CYA clause, but by my math, a student with her GPA and 8 “A” grades would have to have earned an addition four “C” grades or their equivalent to arrive at a cumulative GPA of 3.51.
Again, dunno what happened, but I am not gonna trust the wingnuts on this one.
In essence, the wingnuts hope you don’t understand that a 3.51 GPA and “poor grades in several courses” can mutually coexist and merit dismissal from a grad school program.
I’ll bet dollars to donuts she was a PITA for all of her profs. The type who is always argumentative, failing to distinguish between opinion and fact.
Setting aside the case of Ms. John-Charles. Being a conservative student is a great scam these days, for the horrible people who are into such things.
In my experience, ALOT of lousy students of all persuasions assume that instructors ceaselessly pursue favoritism and petty vendettas. That’s not just how grades are assigned, it explains everything. No amount of paranoia is too much. Let your instructor know that you know that he or she is scheming to fuck people over.
In the conservative variant I think being forward is best. Sure, you can sit there collecting grievances, maybe write them in your anonymous course evaluation. But why not let everyone know you’re conservative? Say naughty un-PC stuff early and often. Keep at it until your instructor gets frustrated or angry. Congrats, you’ve earned your wingnut A+ grade! The whole movement will assume your coursework and demeanor were fine. You never have to read syllabi or instructions again!
Ahhh, the old, you’re a dumb asshole defense. Well played, college guy. Well played.
In my experience, ALOT of lousy students of all persuasions assume that instructors ceaselessly pursue favoritism and petty vendettas
When my daughters were in Junior High, they insisted (all three of them) that any class in which they weren’t performing well had a teacher who hated them. True story.
Dang! Thanks for reminding me of my long-lost Ladies Against Women bandana. Between that and the song lyrics…grrr.
Anyway, I’m not a man, but if I were I still think I’d prefer a job in a clean, air-conditioned office with nice co-workers. Shame those jobs are rare for both sexes.
When my daughters were in Junior High, they insisted (all three of them) that any class in which they weren’t performing well had a teacher who hated them. True story.
zomg!!! the son had THE SAME TEACHERS!
Ladies Against Women bandana
i want one of these in the worst way!
Mental image I really wish I didn’t have:
Will Bunch, on TRMS, saying Limbaugh “rode Reagan to (fame*?)”
*my mind was already boggling. And yeas, I know there’s a missing “coat tails” in there, but it was unspoken.
Yecch! Bleaugh!! Ulp! … ‘Scuse me …
Ahhh, the old, you’re a dumb asshole defense. Well played, college guy. Well played.
I reckon you could reduce that school’s official verbiage by two thirds, nothing lost.
Meaning you, tsam, could do that. I couldn’t — I’m verbose to a fault.
Verbose to a fault? As if. True verbosity exudes its viscous self, slowly, grindingly, sloth-like towards its prey. Days pass. Seasons pass. Eons pass. And yet? No nearer has it moved. Biding its time until, finally, the universe nears its heat-death, and verbosity finally unveils its last death throes… [dickbutt.gif]
On Topic: I’ve mentioned before that I crossed swords with Schlafly in a 1986 project for the Commission on the Bicentennial of the U.S. Constitution. The Commission, chaired by retired CJ Warren Burger, was appointed by Reagan. He put Schafly (and Strom Thurmond) on the commission; like the other commissioners, they both were reviewers of my work.
It’s a longish tale, so I’ll not begin it unless there is interest in hearing it. I only thought of adding the story to the thread because it features Schlafly prominently.
Throw a few
batteriesdifficult questions at Pinker for me.Lecture recap is up, Smut… hurl away!
Jeez. Having second thoughts about telling the Fenwick & Phyllis story. My fiction project is going well. I prolly shouldn’t divert any writing energy from it. Never mind.
Also: Hiya, Mr Limpet! Drop by more often, okay? When I first began lurking here, you were one of the main attractions for me.
It’s a longish tale, so I’ll not begin it unless there is interest in hearing it. I only thought of adding the story to the thread because it features Schlafly prominently.
Don’t leave us hanging, Fenwick! Remember when I was hounding you to start a blog? This is the reason why you should do it, you have a fascinating C.V.
Throw a few batteries difficult questions at Pinker for me.
Now I want to hear the backstory… dish, old chum!
See e.g. here. There are also a couple of Substance McGravitas posts along similar lines.
Ouch!
In the Q&A I should have asked him if he knew that Smut and Substance both thought he was a poopy head.
Sounds like he made a lasting impression on you, Fenwick.
OT, but ain’t it funny how they always show their true colors in the end?
OT, but ain’t it funny how they always show their true colors in the end?
I’m shocked! Shocked I tell you!
OT, but ain’t it funny how they always show their true colors in the end?
Imagine my surprise. I’ll also be surprised at how many of these militia-terrorist types will rush to his defense against the “gotcha” media and the lazy negro. I’ll also be surprised at how the irony of a welfare rancher who is stealing from the government and happily cashing those sweet sweet
subsidywelfare checks is calling out black people for not working for a living “picking cotton”.I reckon you could reduce that school’s official verbiage by two thirds, nothing lost.
Yeah, but can you put an extra unnecessary comma in there to completely ruin the flow of your super zinger? tsam embarrassed cuz not talk gud.
Verbose to a fault? As if. True verbosity exudes its viscous self, slowly, grindingly, sloth-like towards its prey. Days pass. Seasons pass. Eons pass. And yet? No nearer has it moved. Biding its time until, finally, the universe nears its heat-death, and verbosity finally unveils its last death throes… [dickbutt.gif]
LOL VERBOSE 2
tsam, I read the extra comma as a stand-in for the marks I would have used, i.e.: … the old “you’re a dumb asshole” defense.
Oh yes, slaves enjoyed such a wonderful family life having their children sold off at every opportunity.
“Old times there are not forgotten
whoopin’ slaves and selling cotton”
OT, but ain’t it funny how they always show their true colors in the end?
I’m shocked! Shocked I tell you!
Reminds you of our discussion in the car- it always comes down to race, every time.
“They abort their young children, they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton,” Bundy was quoted as saying to a group of supporters last Saturday. “And I’ve often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn’t get no more freedom. They got less freedom.”
But surely we mustn’t question his judgment, his patriotism, or his understanding of the law.
Yep, he sure loves America. The Confederate States of America that is.
It’s like the derp version of this:
tsam, I read the extra comma as a stand-in for the marks I would have used, i.e.:
I LIKE YOUR ATTITUDE
It’s true though, technically. They didn’t get no more freedom. Of course, that ain’t nohow the way he meant it
Wow. “One nation under God” is right up there in the preamble of the Constitution? Thanks for the civics lesson, dumbass.
I had to clink the link to find out that was the onion. Poe’s law strikes again.
Damn. I got taken in.
One nation under currency? No, not it.
One nation under a rock? Haz a ring, but naaah.
One nation under arrest? T’ink Imma gets closer.
ONE NATION UNDER DELUSION?!?
P’raps…
One nation under 4D suns?
He hit every single white conservative trope in ONE SENTENCE. This guy is a fucking genius.
“I’ve often wondered…”
No, you haven’t. You’ve often made up your own version of history and reality and then believed it was all true. This is the poor-man’s version of the normal right wing fallacy “it begs the question”, when it clearly does not.
“are they better off as slaves”
I’m sure there are millions of black people sitting at home, wishing they were owned by a confederate fascist. Seems legit.
“picking cotton and having a family life
Backbreaking work and deliberate system that was meant to keep families from being united–not exactly a family life, bro.
“or are they better off under government subsidy?”
Well, are YOU better off under government subsidy, Cliven? WTF kind of name is Cliven? Sounds like his name was something that he couldn’t pronounce until his early 20s so the impediment name stuck.
“They didn’t get no more freedom. They got less freedom”
Cliven doesn’t know the definitions of the words more and less. Cool.
One nation, indisfuckova mess?
THAT’S IT!!!!!
One nation under a groove, gettin’ down just for the funk of it
I can’t be the only person who does painful eyerolls and never bothers to finish an article by The Onion. Andy Borowitz too, also and so forth.
You don’t hafta finish reading Onion articles. Knowing the premise is enough. Sometimes the best joke is buried, tho.
Well, except maybe this classic good stuff, all the way to the last paragraph.
I was over at CPP’s place, doing my morning catch-up (that 6 hr time difference), and someone in the comments to the post about Mr. Bundy noted that there had been an avalanche of wingnuttia in the comments for one of yesterday’s posts: http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/The_Morning_Butthurt . In addition to the the poor spelling, ALL CAPS, and frequent reminders that Democrats Are the Real Racists, there were complaints that CPP had gotten Jayson Veley’s name wrong, spelling it, unforgivably, “Jason.” I then looked at the screencap at the top of the post and realized where Mr. Pierce had gotten the spelling.
Literally Unbelievable complements The Onion very nicely.
For that special brand of krazy, you have to go to Scientology:
I have a Thetan who does things to my mirror and it’s annoying. What Should I Do?
I guess EmilyLitella.org was taken?
New one up!
…
[SFX: Door opens, closes.]
PHYLLIS: Consuela?
CONSUELA: Yes, Mrs. S., right here. How was the conference?
PHYLLIS: Oh, all those darling Republican men! We all agree that women should stay in the home because their delicate brains aren’t suited for the working world. Did anyone call while I was out?
CONSUELA [handing over phone messages]: Yes, ma’am, Mrs. S., lady named Sheryl Sandberg says she’d like to have a word.