Insert Forced Crimea Pun Here
I mean, I would have gone with Crimea River, but apparently every media hack on the planet beat me to it.
Roger Cohen, The Motherfucking NY Times™:
Cold Man in the Kremlin
Bob in Himmel’s anus, am I tired of reading wingnut drivel about Russia in Ukraine.
Fresh off their brief love affair with the Russian tyrant in the wake of his anti-gay policies, we’ve got an unending spring of intense polemics.
I mean, yes, duh, Putin is an asshole who invades sovereign nations because they think being a UN security state with a nuclear arsenal and a large military gives one a free pass for whatever war of choice one wants to perform. Gosh, I wonder where he got that idea! Couldn’t possibly be our decade plus of dicking around the Islamic world for our personal game of Crusade Reenactment Porn. Nope, must be Endless Tyrant Obama quailing like a little mouse before Putin’s virile chest and “showing weakness” because apparently global politics is apparently supposed to operate on the self-delusions high school bullies tell themselves.
And yes, there’s a host of other bullshit in everything. Right down to the way that some people in Eastern European states pining for the days of the Soviet Union after seeing how crony capitalism and mass corruption led by Anti-Communists has left them. Putin’s own brand of corrupt corprotacracy. And the way that the EU has treated sections of the former Eastern Bloc in their efforts to join. Not to mention that Russia wants to rebuild its own empire by sucking up the “rebel nations” that escaped it and how a lot of his moves are about punishing countries for resisting his heavy-handed efforts to steal elections to serve his cadre of corrupt capitalists and his perverse nationalism.
And who knows, if we were having an earnest conversation about the failures in the Post-Soviet era and modern Russia, that’d be great.
But all through the media and especially on every right-wing blog on the planet, it’s not about that. It’s instead about one thing.
Shorter Every Fucking Idiot on the Right since Putin Coughed in Ukraine’s Direction:
- Oh please say the Cold War is back. Oh please say the Cold War is back. We’ve been desperate for an enemy as perfect for our interests ever since they went away. The existential terror of annihilation, the supposed leftist point of view which let us posit right-wing capitalism and christian dominism the opposite, the spies and secrecy which let us blacklist and demonize whole swaths of activists and intellectuals and prop up our own talking heads as patriotic heroes, the way conformity could be posited as patriotism, and so on. Oh, we’ve tried our best with the “terrorists” but you just can’t dress up those right-wing religious nutjobs as the same existential threat that the commies represented. Fuck, we just want our apocalypse. C’mon Putin, we’ve been good. We need this release so fucking bad.
And I’m fucking done reading this shit.
Sorry assholes, but the Cold War ain’t ever coming back. China is a capitalist hellhole. Russia is a capitalist hellhole. Cuba is so utterly out of the picture that we set up a torture camp in their borders without so much as a never mind. The communist threat is gone and buried and ain’t ever going to surface in that same exploitable way ever again. The magic is gone and no one is going to ride that train to Crazy Town ever again.
Putin’s little power-trip is not special. Is not hammers and sickles. It is what happens when one sets a precedent where the biggest dick gets to boss all the little dicks around.
It’s not the Cold War. It’s not World War II. It’s Putin being a dick and pissing off a lot of the former Eastern Bloc countries. That’s it.
And you know what?
I’m not going to talk about it anymore than that.
NEW POST!
Brandon Ferdig, American Eek A Vagina, Kill It!:
A Harmful Fad
So instead, let’s help ourselves to a great big bowl of misogyny! YAY!
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- Letting dem filthy wimminfolk be engineers will fill their heads with horrible evil thoughts of being equal.
Oh MRAs (Men’s Rights Assholes Activists, otherwise known as the Abuser’s Lobby), you are the soft underbelly one looks to claw open on a miserable fucking day slogging through endless “Putin is the New Kruschev” apocalypse fantasies.
And this scream in the gynophobic night is courtesy of the terror some libertarian assholes feel at the prospect that their sacred mancave of mystery in the Tech Sector might be infiltrated by filthy she-beasts who would befoul their sacredly homosocial space with their unnatural desires to… be paid a middle-class salary because of their earned qualifications without having to put up with an endless battery of sexual harassment and campaigns to eliminate them.
Because engineering should be a space so penis-laden it’d make a Tinder-user thank the Tom of Finland Lord, otherwise the terrorists win. Or something.
Perhaps I should let ol’ Brandon Bottomfeeder walk us through the no doubt logical logic of it all.
American society is seeing a resurgence of a movement to encourage females to take on roles they haven’t historically had.
The horror. The horror.
This effort to see more female scientists,
engineers,
Sure.
doctors,
lawyers,
leaders,
Word.
etc. has been largely wonderful.
Oh is it, cause I could have sworn that sound I heard was you cacking your pants.
But unchecked, it has also recently led to some passively-accepted radical ideas about femininity and equality,
Sure, it’s great in the abstract for us to treat women as if they were humans instead of evil space aliens come to harvest our delicious man brains, but too much of that and they’ll start getting dangerous ideas about being equal to men and that’s just… well… duh… obviously… I mean, you all see what I mean, right?
with resources being wasted on related initiatives that are ultimately taking away from the good that could otherwise be accomplished.
I mean, why would we waste resources on making sure the full spectrum of possible scientists and engineers had the resources they needed to ensure that we were the technological and innovative leader in the world when we could be using those resources better on building yet another cock statue to male fears of impotency or blowing up another handful of brown people so that insecure conservatives like me can properly achieve erection?
I mean, talk about priorities!
The United States of America — or at least the popular culture and media — has bought into the idea that women not making up half of all engineers and executives is a problem. In a 2012 article about the dearth of women in engineering, PBS NewsHour interviewed University of Colorado Engineering Professor Angela Bielefeldt stated that “only 10 to 12” of her freshmen civil engineering class of 60 to 80 students were women.
“It’s really pathetic,” she told NewsHour.
While such articles are being written, and while such initiatives such as the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media — busy pointing out “imbalances in the number of women shown working versus men shown working in films and TV” — are promoted throughout the country, the American public has gone along for the ride and taken for granted that these disparities are indeed “pathetic”.
I mean, why would we ever think it was a problem that there is a concerted effort to discourage women from participating in male dominated fields?
It’s like these people don’t believe in the genetic inferiority of women or something!
No one seems to have ever stopped to ask, “Wait, why is it ‘pathetic’ that there are fewer female engineers?” or countered with, “Why isn’t it ‘pathetic’ then that less than 20 percent of elementary and middle school teachers are men — that an insignificant two percent of preschool and kindergarten teachers are male?”
Actually, if you bothered to listen to a feminist for five and a half seconds without clasping your hands to your ears for fear that their siren song will cause your balls to rip themselves from their body, you’d know that those who speak most about gender equality and getting more women into science and engineering often also talk about the problems inherent in having a low amount of men in fields such as nursing, teaching, or being a flight attendant. And part of pointing that out is pointing out the way that designating those fields as “women’s fields” aids in social attitudes that treat the genuinely difficult work those fields perform as meaningless, unworthy of fair compensation, and “simple” large because women are largely performing them.
Ending that perception and the concept of “women’s work” would do wonders for the forced devaluation of crucial jobs and the overvaluation of work that is dominated by men.
Or failing that, we could just make being a CEO a “women’s job” and end the spiraling overcompensation of that money drain once and for all.
One could also retort by noting these statistics from the National Science Foundation: “In 2009… Women constituted the majority of graduate students in psychology (76%), medical/other life sciences (76%), biological sciences (57%), and social sciences (54%), and were close to half of graduate students in agricultural sciences (49%) and earth, atmospheric, and ocean sciences (46%).”
How is that a retort to the statement that there’s a gender disparity in engineering?
I mean, if anything, it demonstrates that the disparity in engineering is likely entirely social seeing as how there’s little reason why they should be equally qualified as men in biology (holla), ocean studies, medicine, psychology, and social science, but somehow lose their basic faculties once confronted with the rock hard rigidness of engineering.
I mean, unless you are arguing that being an engineer specifically requires operating equipment with one’s penis, I’m not sure this is an adequate “retort” for the staggeringly low level of representation currently in the field.
But then, I’m got a tiny lady brain now, so maybe I’m missing something in the math.
Women even make up the majority of students in mortuary science and represent a staggering 90% of recipients in 2011 of doctorates in veterinary medicine (DVMs).
The nation’s women have clearly stepped forward to fulfill their professional ambitions in all of these formerly-male dominated fields. This is good news.
Nonetheless, women continue to make up smaller minorities in the fields of math, engineering, and computers.
Which leads naturally to a question of “why is that so?” If women are so capable of every other form of science that they were previously barred and excluded from and thrived, why would engineering, math, and computer science be special and different? I mean, if every single time so far that a bunch of scared men said “no, women cannot thrive in this field, it is impossible for them to achieve equality” women have triumphed and made their mark, then why wouldn’t that pattern hold true for engineering?
Again, do computers operate by sticking one’s dick in them, because I have to admit, I don’t remember ever having to do that back in the day.
So the movement continues. And by ignoring the concerns of the shoe being on the other foot — men being unrepresented — and by neglecting to recognize that women make up healthy majorities in many scientific fields,
Oh I see. You’re saying that because women passed with flying colors all the trials laid before them, it is even more important that there be an artificial boy’s club enforced at the math and engineering gates, lest they succeed all over the forking and dongle joke idiots.
Because men need affirmative action to overcome their natural inferiority and ensure they can compete against superior women when there is a level playing field.
Because all that libertarian noise about free markets and letting the chips fall where they will is all well and good until you no longer can earn a hundred thousand dollar salary for surfing porn at work and ranting about bitches on the internet.
this movement now reveals itself no longer as a promotion of equality, but something on the order of a fad.
Oh my god, totally. Like, I wasn’t really sure on this whole retaining the same social rights and privileges I enjoyed when I was thought to be a man thing, but then, like my friend Becky got on it and like everyone at the club is on their New Equality Phones and oh my god, I won’t get any of the boys unless I get it! It’s like a totes for sure emergency, don’t you know? But like, it’ll probably be passe by fall and everyone will be wearing new Authoritarian shoes, so maybe I should get ahead of the curve. I dunno. Thinking is so hard now!
We all acknowledge that there are differences in physiology, appearance, and yes, interests and capabilities between the typical man and woman.
Oh lordy lord, we be entering the Evo Psych waters now. Abandon all hope, ye who actually understand biological sexual dimorphism and what it means.
We accept that they have different body parts, that men are typically taller and that women have rounder hips,
Biggest fucking rapid in the stream? Mistaking slight differences in the averages of intergroups and assuming (or at least setting up a construction so that others assume) that they mean that every single man (or white person) is more X than every single woman (or non-white person). Usually goes hand-in-hand in ignoring how intragroup variation so utterly dwarfs those tiny little average intergroup variations that it might as well be meaningless noise as far as its impact on daily life.
See, height is a great example. When people are ranging from 2 ft tall to 8ft 6 inches and that’s as adults. Then a slight difference in average heights between men and women might as well be a bitter joke.
And it gets more laughable when you mix culture into it. A great example is that college participation and ability in sciences like biology that up until very recently, sexists were crowing about for showing the genetic inferiority of women. Now that women are slightly above their male counterparts because of standard behavior around equilibriums (think the way a population that has shifted in size dramatically after a change in prey species size or habitat may bounce up and down around an equilibrium point until settling on a stable number), they’re demanding radical steps to artificially hobble women because it’s unfair that they succeed in a system gamed against them.
But I mean, that’s standard evopsych bullshit. It’s not like he’s going to do something stupid, like suggest liking Twilight or something has a genetic component.
that women are more likely to read 50 Shades of Grey and that men are more likely to be police officers.
OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE!
In these areas, people in the U.S. are reasonable.
Citation needed.
here is no taboo with these facts, so truth can be objectively observed.
Yeah, you do realize that just stating something is an “objective truth” doesn’t actually make it so, right? I mean, that’s sort of the first thing one learns when learning about science and engineering so…
Ah… suddenly I’m very clear why you are so terrified of a level playing field.
This is why in the case of men and education, we don’t see near the amount of stories or nonprofit organizations or mentions on Google’s homepage in response to the discrepancy.
Well, there have been pushes to get more men into especially early child education, but many educated men resist because a) it’s seen as women’s work and thus opens them up to sexist treatment by other guys who view them as girly for doing it, b) it’s paid like shit compared to male-dominated fields, and c) it’s paid utter shit.
Even then, men in education often get a lot more freedom than their women counterparts as I saw in action at the way prime opportunities were given to the man of the group entirely because they were a man.
Hell, due to societal sexism, a male voice even in under-represented spaces is treated nothing like women in under-represented spaces. Underrepresented Men are often treated better than the women employees, praised for simple tasks, and seen as brave and protected in system, whereas women are discriminated against and harassed.
Which is probably why there isn’t as much conversation about that, seeing as how no one is actively keeping them out except the same sexist men who see a female engineer as a blood-sucking interloper sent to “ruin the fun” of joking at work about rape.
Oh, and also the little pesky fact that seems to stop most “men’s” movements. The fact that for social change to happen, you actually need to like, do stuff. Organize, educate, get out there in the streets and be activists. For the type of organization you want to exist, you need to actually make it instead of waiting for women to come along and do it for you.
And when the women do that and ruin your talking point, you just yell at them anyways, because you don’t actually care about any of it except as a distraction you can use to try and protect your sad little boy’s club.
Because here we accept the differences in feminine/masculine biology.
Yeah, gender performance in accordance with social norms is totes biological. It’s true. I’m genetically predisposed to liking soccer which is genetically masculine, even when I am watching women’s soccer and it’s lesbian goodness. And I’m genetically predisposed to like flowers and gardening and it is genetically feminine even though I was taught to love that by my war-fighting grandpa. And I tend towards an agender gender performance that is neither at home with masculine or feminine traits because biological phlebotinum and Bob damnitt do I hate the fucking Evo Psych fuckwads who try and latch their antiquated sexist bullshit to my beautiful biology.
And it’s just fucking obvious when they start grabbing obvious social crap like gender performance and trying to assign gender roles to them. When I started taking hormones, did I start wanting to wear high heels and makeup? No, because I thought they were fucking stupid then and I still do (on me at least, let’s not start an argument on the empowering effects for some people, because I totally do understand).
It’s more than skin deep. It’s more than which books and movies men and women tend to enjoy.
It’s that, overall, the two genders embody unique neurologies lending to each gender excelling at unique tasks. In fact, we can actually appreciate such disparity as it enables a richer society when we leverage each gender’s strengths and interests.
It is much more complicated than “boys this/girls that”. The truth parses out masculinity and femininity from gender, but this doesn’t dissuade from the truth, or our acceptance, that women tend to enjoy working with small children more than men tend to.
You do realize that adding a bunch of buzzwords you saw on a TED talk once, does not actually make the Victorian concept of “separate spheres for men and women” any fresher or more valid, right?
Of course there is also the darker side to disparity: a consequence of boxing men and women into limited roles for work and family. Such beliefs and traditions have prevented individuals from spreading their wings and sharing with the world their talents and passions whether a female firefighter or a male hairdresser.
…
Wait, is this…?
A professional sexist acknowledging that forced gender roles are shitty for everyone? That telling a young boy that liking fashion makes him a fag or telling a young girl playing with a Tonka truck that she’s playing with the wrong toy and needs a Barbie is wrong? That we’d perhaps be better off if there wasn’t strict rules we were destroying ourselves to fit and just let everyone be what they will without artificial social enforcement? That perhaps such actions damage the much sainted free market we are all supposed to pray to every day as our Golden Calf by eliminating brilliant and motivated minds in favor of assholes who only exist to enforce a “social order”?
Could this be a moment of genuine realization that finally clues him in on-
America’s struggle has been in determining which disparities are good, which are not, and in not letting the pendulum swing too far in response to previous social ills.
Well, that was nice while it lasted. Back to the usual bullshit.
This struggle shows itself today as we’re popularly unable to accept this other truth in male/female biological difference: males tend to enjoying building things more than females. According to a paper published by David Reilly & David L. Neumann in the journal Sex Roles:
(Insert Bullshit Evo Psych paper here)
American media and pop culture leaders today don’t want to admit this part of the gender divide. The fad doesn’t allow such truth to surface. Thus, if it’s not biological, there must be a problem. And if there’s a problem, there must be a culprit. Sexism? Traditionalism? Girl’s self-esteem? There must be something!
Yeah, those stupid idiots thinking that if it isn’t biological inferiority keeping the wimmin folk down, it must be due to some social force artificially enforcing an unfair treatment of women. What obvious rot!
Clearly, it’s all biological. They just can’t handle this shit. No, for real this time. I know we said that about the other sciences, the social sciences, psychology, film, art, media, law, literature, and the very act of learning itself and every single time turned out to be full of shit, but this time is for real. Definitely.
No, you don’t want to test that theory by letting women participate. That won’t work because of super secret reasons that are super important. You’ll just have to trust us. I know that sounds super suspicious, but it’s all just a sign of how super serious we are this time!
Now we have GoldieBlox, http://www.goldieblox.com/ a company creating pink building blocks because this must be the reason little girls tend not to build things like their little male friends.
Oh yeah, toy companies making inferior pink versions of toys that are sold as “boys” is totally the result of feminists who care about equality rather than ad agencies filled with clueless old men.
Which is why Legos in Denmark are seen as a unisexual thing and was a toy enjoyed by all genders when I was a little spawnling making epic multi-part stories out of as many Lego sets as I could.
And we have Facebook COO, and outspoken female-empowerment crusader, Sheryl Sandberg’s latest “Ban Bossy” campaign, a call to stop using the word “bossy” because girls being called as such is part of the reason why fewer women are leaders today.
What Ban Bossy evidences is that which happens to a movement when its inertia takes it into the absurd.
Does anyone really believe that if a 4th grade girl wants to start a program to provide blankets for the homeless that her classmates are going to call her out as “bossy”?
Actually… yeah.
It’s one of those things I am extremely aware of owing my unique history as a woman. Unlike many women, I was raised as if I was a boy. I was given the socialization given to men and my ambitions and wild dreams were treated seriously and supported at every level of my development.
When I was assertive, people say that as manly and proper. When I spoke up, I was taken seriously. When I fought and played with Nerf guns, I wasn’t punished or treated like a freak.
I grew up expecting that my opinions would be treated as serious and informed, that my background would be given its due consideration, that my intelligence would be respected, and I find myself having to be aware in conversations so I don’t overrun the other person because no one was there to call me a blabbermouth if I did growing up.
I was completely struck with the weight of this in an exercise I did in college, before I had come out and when I was immersing myself in feminism philosophy and lebsian literature. The exercise was simple and one of my and my group’s devising. It was to simple have the two men in the group be shot with a Nerf gun by the women of the class. Soft little Nerf dart. No chance of harm, with our full consent and in fact encouragement. Not a single one could do it. It was so foreign to how they were raised to act in public spaces and against the socialization of a lifetime.
I respect that fact, as I did the way my accomplishments were treated as less than since coming out and the way my intelligence has been questioned since coming out, and the reality of the privilege I carry to this day from being raised as if I was male.
Cause that’s what the whole “ban bossy” thing is that has the sexists in a freak-for-all. Ending the way we treat female assertiveness as “bitchyness”. The way we casually joke that a woman in a heterosexual relationship asserting her needs or consent boundaries is “bossing” the man around. The way we make endless “whipped” jokes when I man gets married or thinks of his heterosexual partner as an equal human being. The way we react completely differently to men asking for raises to women asking for raises. The way we punish women’s ambition or view a successful woman as someone “stuck up” who “needs to be punished”*.
And it’s understandable that the sexists would be scared. It’s always scary when one’s victims find their voice.
I don’t think the celebrity endorsers behind Ban Bossy even believe this. Condoleezza Rice, Beyoncé Knowles, etc. simply did what most Americans do when they hear “female empowerment.” They jumped on board Sandberg’s campaign with no thought about the actual claim being made. They didn’t think, because this movement to see females become leaders and STEM participants has drifted into the realm beyond reason.
Or because, unlike you, they aren’t idiots who jump on every piece of Evo Psych garbage that makes you feel better for being one of the last remaining members of the middle class despite having an intellect incapable of navigating the simple physics of a toilet seat.
Another sign that this movement has ventured into unreasonableness is that its greatest enemy — and so that which is taboo — is the truth. To publicly utter the statement, “Maybe boys are just typically better at building things” would spur unsightly looks in your direction. Not just because you’re wrong — in which case people could simply correct you — but because you challenge the hype they’ve bought into.
YEARGH! You. Can’t. Just. Assert. Something. Is. True.
You can’t. Well, you can, but if you do, people who know what the fuck they are talking about will look at you like the complete moron you are. That’s how it works.
And those people shaking their heads at the equivalent of you stamping your little feet and screaming “we are better at building! We are! We are we are we are!” are not intimidated or shaken by your “daring taboo”.
They look unsightly in your direction because it is embarrassing when a man old enough to be one’s grandpa goes full toddler because the notion of sharing his Lego blocks with the girls fills him with castration anxiety.
In 2006, Harvard University president Lawrence Summers was forced to resign after making a speech about disparities in male/female representation in certain scientific fields. His social sin was that he postulated that one of the reasons for the disparity (in addition to admitting other factors such as discrimination) was biological. He had to resign even though a strong majority of the Harvard student body wanted him to stay. Even Sheryl Sandberg, ironically, defended his statements. Nonetheless, faculty offered a vote of no confidence.
He was forced to resign because he was a sexist asshole who discriminated against hiring qualified women because of his ancient views on sexism and his gynophobia (lord knows, I wish that unqualified hack could have remained fired instead of failing upwards and fucking more and more shit as he went).
Or rather he was fired for being an obvious sexist asshole in public where everyone could see and ask genuine question about the scholarship of an institution running entirely on reputation and thus endanger the delicate money-based ecosystem.
American media outlets and figures like Sandberg are pushing a movement that promotes a warped version of equality and a warped sense of femininity.
They’re not feminine! They’re not in the kitchen like they’re supposed to be! Make them go back to the kitchen! You’re bossy! You’re a bossy bitch! Go back to the kitchen! It isn’t working! Why isn’t it working?!?
We aren’t going to see an equal number of women in engineering just like we aren’t going to see an equal number of male aestheticians.
Bookmarking this for about 10-20 years (if not less, there’s a damn high number of probable girls I teach who are interested in engineering) when the sexist walls come crashing down and engineering turns out just like the last 3000 “biological bastions of maleness” that would be impossible for women to succeed at and not at all because men keep trying to drive them out for “girlying up the place”.
Perhaps most problematic, from the federal government to Google, focus and investment of time and cash into these initiatives means diverting resources from actual problems. Having taught in inner-city schools across Minneapolis, I’ve seen suffering in the eyes of kids who grow up in terrible situations. #Banbossy? How about we #banabuse of these kids by their parents? The little girls in these classrooms don’t need encouragement to go into science. They need the chance to live a violence-free life.
When we believe in a phantom problems, we don’t pay attention to the real ones.
…
No.
No no no no no no.
You do not get to end your little sexist “I want my engineering to be a cock paradise” whine by exploiting child abuse.
Cause, see, you sexist fucks never gave a fuck about child abuse for the years and decades that women and feminists fought and bled during to bring this issue to national attention.
And you fuckers still do whatever you can to ensure that children and women are trapped in abusive situations and can’t escape abuse (whether sexual or physical or both).
And little whines like this about “biological gender roles” is the main reason why this shit keeps fucking happening. All those abusive assholes raping their kids and beating their wives do so because they are swallowing wholesale the toxic messages that women and children are their property. Are theirs by right of being men. Because being masculine is sold to them as violence and dominance of the weak and because women are stated to be available and to meet all these expectations.
The fuckers who abuse and destroy are the most likely to repeat these toxic ideas of what it means to be a man, to rant about the importance of family, to rant against feminists, and to support other authoritarian garbage in their politics.
The people working to end this scourge are not sexist men, they are feminist women who are underfunded and attacked from all angles by the conservative forces who think that a woman leaving an abusive asshole is a sin against God.
And I’ve had that child you are seeking to hide behind, to pretend that your whiny little defense of the status quo is in any way noble, in my class on engineering and science. That abused and shattered child. I’ve seen her brother repeating the cycle of violence he sees at home, thinking its okay to use violence on anyone who makes him mad, that cutting someone open is not anything someone should cry about, that the visibly female teacher needs to be shown her place, that it is okay to envelop his sister and put her into spanking positions and stroke her thigh. I’ve seen her close up when family is near and open up and become just another kid when she is given a breath of freedom. I’ve seen the litany of little tics that add up to a whole lotta bad.
And I’ve reported it to anyone in more authority than I without risking my position. And I’ve done everything I can to give that little girl one little place where she can forget the rape and violence I guarantee she is suffering when she goes home. Where she can dream of being an engineer, building a rocketship to a better world where she doesn’t have to be hyper-aware and “broken”.
And that little girl deserves so much more than to be exploited by a sad little hack without the strength of his convictions to even stand by his sexism like the masculine stereotype he wants to envision himself as.
You are not “manly” as you define it.
You are scared.
And you are losing.
And you will be engineered into obscurity by women far more capable and bright than you could ever hope to be.
But fret not. As these things go, you’ll just move on to the next excuse, the next “biological proof of male superiority”, because that’s easier to accept than the radical notion that we are all just humans, trying to do the best we can on our little blue rock as it hurtles towards inevitable entropy and the endless void.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Latest sickness bullshit? I’ve lost most of my hearing because I’m so stuffed up. Like, it’s just gone like I just came back from a metal concert. I’m sure that’ll go over great in my classes. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*Greatest example of this “powerful woman is a stuck up bitch who needs to be shown her place” mentality has to be the treatment of Wonder Woman during her long comics history. Every time creators acknowledge her role as icon of empowerment for women, there inevitably comes a backlash where she is assigned to a writer who thinks she needs to be “brought down a peg” and taught what it means to be human or otherwise be humbled. When we are scared to even let fictional women be exceptional, there is clearly a major problem in the world.
**Oh, bonus point, because I think it needs to be addressed. What the fuck does “men are better at building shit” even have to do with engineering, CEO, and math disparity in the first place? I mean, I could understand it if it was strictly an apologetic for construction worker disparity, because at least it would be on topic, but this is like arguing that more women are nurses because women like to sew.
women tend to enjoy working with small children more than men tend to
Ahem!
I mean, yes, duh, Putin is an asshole who invades sovereign nations because they think being a UN security state with a nuclear arsenal and a large military gives one a free pass for whatever war of choice one wants to perform.
No wonder Bush could see his soul.
Putin knew better than to pull this kind of stunt when GWB was manfully swaggering about.
Oh, except for that one time he invaded Georgia.
That was a mulligan, MK, with the do-over for the Obama Administration.
While completely naked, Pennis spouted the following:
[citation desperately needed]
Yeah, women really dig Putin after what he did to Pussy Riot. Trollboy has to stop projecting his “rough trade” fantasies on others.
We also think the troll is getting rolled by Austin Loomis.
I was pretty sure I wasn’t the only one using that mental two-step …
I don’t think that’s what they’re clasping.
Even granting this is true (that “overall” is a classic weasel word), does this jackass not realize that bringing multiple approaches to problem solving is a really good way to get faster and better solutions?
Far too few people “get” this, or realize what a huge difference this makes going forward. Growing up, the big, unspoken rule in scholl was “don’t show the boys up.” And this was among people who believed themselves to be in favor of equality.
Is this when racist celebrity commenter Paul Ryan tells us about inner-city ‘pathologies’?
FTFY again.
I’m sorry but I still think the Ban Bossy movement is stupid. It’s a unisex word. If it’s being used more against females than males that just means we should start calling males bossy. Bob knows there’s a ton of men who need that word.
You probably intended and typed “Grindr” which FYautocorrect transformed into “Tinder.” Unless there’s a new app targeting flaming queens? But then the T of F reference would be inapt.
Also, “number” of men, not “amount.”
Signed Your pedantic reader.
I just assumed TIND[E]R is for the Log Cabin Republicans.
No, the BBC just teaches the ultimate bossy accent.
Women are “bossy”. Men are “assertive” or “demonstrating leadership”. Get with the program people.
Forget ban bossy we need ban bosses.
Well, see, I grew up being taught that truth means something we can prove. If your opinion is based on a faith or belief, especially where said opinion directly conflicts with scientific knowledge (ie–climate change, evolution, the Earth orbiting the sun, rather than the inverse), then your opinion isn’t worth consideration. In other words, your opinion has to be informed, but your background means exactly jack fucking shit when it comes to the validity of your opinion.
Nymjack. Kill, please.
OMFG CALL TO ARMS NO WOMAN SCIENTSITS OR PRESIDENTS WE NEED DINNER COOKED
Well, see, I grew up being taught that truth means something we can prove. If your opinion is based on a faith or belief, especially where said opinion directly conflicts with scientific knowledge (ie–climate change, evolution, the Earth orbiting the sun, rather than the inverse), then your opinion isn’t worth consideration. In other words, your opinion has to be informed, but your background means exactly jack fucking shit when it comes to the validity of your opinion.
Indeed. Ever heard of the Dunning-Kruger effect?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect
A great explanation of conservatards who always think that they know more than the “so-called experts”…
Fun interview with Dunning here…
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/20/the-anosognosics-dilemma-1/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=0
Rumor has it that the spectacularly incompetent bank robber mentioned in the article, McArthur Wheeler, has been relentlessly monopolizing the prison computer to troll left wing snark blogs…
Crimea and let loose the chickenhawks of war.
Don’t do the Crimea if you can’t do the timea.
Kerch me if Ukraine?
Sent from my Princess Rotar yPhone using tapatalk
Silver probably learned from Dean Chambers to include voter fraud in his calculations.
Rumor has it that the spectacularly incompetent bank robber mentioned in the article, McArthur Wheeler, has been relentlessly monopolizing the prison computer to troll left wing snark blogs…
HAHAHAHA! Nice
I dunno what the troll’s on about. America could use more big black corporations. BBCs are people too, my friend, and I applaud their entrepreneurialism.
I find it depressingly hilarious that every single Republican armchair commander is talking about how naïve and stupid Obama is, yet presents no alternative besides slightly veiled calls for war.
So yeah, let’s compare that idea to recent history: We invade to drive back the regular forces. We secure a front line, do our best to hold of the Russians, while fighting sympathizers and civilian loyalists and guerilla fighters in the interior. After losing 3 of these wars, maybe we consider not starting another one.
The GOP are also mysteriously silent about their alternative to the ACA…
Re: previous thread
http://leftycartoons.com/marriage-fixes-everything/
Translation: Women belong naked on the calendars in our office, not IN our office so we can’t hang up those calendars anymore.
I mean, unless you are arguing that being an engineer specifically requires operating equipment with one’s penis
i know, it’s always awkward when i visit hubbkf at work and when i walk in the room, they all have to put it away…
etc. has been largely wonderful.
…
But unchecked, it has also recently led to some passively-accepted radical ideas about femininity and equality,
…
with resources being wasted on related initiatives that are ultimately taking away from the good that could otherwise be accomplished.
oh…so when i hear, ‘abortion makes me sad because i wonder how many future scientists that could cure cancer have been aborted…’ they really mean how many man babies…
American society is seeing a resurgence of a movement to encourage females to take on roles they haven’t historically had.
Now who’s going to make the sandwiches?
Speculation:
Russia may annex the Donets Basin area in eastern Ukraine, a key industrial area. It contains an important oil, gas, and petro-shale field. Also major hydro-electric. Might be a big enough prize for a risk-taker like Putin.
The seizure would use a similar model to Crimea: Eastern Ukraine conducts a [Russian-engineered] plebiscite in the Donets basin, where the question is annexation to Russia. The Russian legislature is poised for the rubber-stamp, and Putin has selected his pen. Done and done. As the Donets area is now part of Russia, Russian forces–currently concentrated on the border–promptly move in to defend their sovereign territory. Zippity-doo-dah, it’s done.
As long as Europe and US are already imposing sanctions for Crimea, how much worse would they get for acquiring east Ukraine? Why not double down? By being patient, he might be able to use the Gas Lever to break the common resolve of the EU.
Another possibility is to establish eastern Ukraine as an ‘independent’ state (a client wholly within Russian orbit, as is Byelorussia).
————————
Btw, If it comes to military action, I don’t believe Ukraine can match up for long against Russian ground forces. In addition to numbers and superior equipment, the Russians also have combat veterans of Chechnya and Georgia. Moreover, except for water barriers, there isn’t much ‘defense-friendly’ terrain in eastern Ukraine….and the Russians are well-equipped with amphibious combat vehicles.
Even if Ukraine is reinforced by NATO air forces–a doubtful propostion, imo–I think the Russians would still have an edge, because of their sophisticated ground-based air defense, and the proximity of their air bases.
oh…so when i hear, ‘abortion makes me sad because i wonder how many future scientists that could cure cancer have been aborted…’ they really mean how many man babies…
Nice point, but I don’t think they care all that much about the man-babies either.
We can’t either. Russia has an already mobilized border force, a huge naval base, likely with air forces installed, and we’re already too late to make a push back. There isn’t an established front line, no means to guard the flanks, and air power would kill off as many civilians as military personnel.
Note my previous comment about engaging regular forces while dealing with guerilla forces from the rear.
Here we have yet ANOTHER example (following the Balkans in the 90s, numerous Soviet incursions throughout the Cold War) where Europe sits it out, puts out mealy mouthed statements about how Russia is being really really rude and stuff, while doing exactly nothing and letting the US do the fucking heavy lifting and be the bad guy. This is Europe’s fucking problem, it’s time for them to fucking deal with it with our support, rather than the opposite.
Nice point, but I don’t think they care all that much about the man-babies either.
They care muches about the white ones.
This may stir something up: I have no problem with Crimea being part of Russia. Rather, I strongly disapprove of the method of acquisition.
Imo, the US doesn’t have a realistic military card to play. The tough-talking chickenhawks and neo-cons are 180 degrees dead wrong in indulging that fantasy. We are pretty much limited to political and economic measures to apply any pressure.
As long as Europe and US are already imposing sanctions for Crimea, how much worse would they get for acquiring east Ukraine? Why not double down? By being patient, he might be able to use the Gas Lever to break the common resolve of the EU.
Also, most of these sanctions were targeted at Russian oligarchs and mobsters. Sanctions aren’t going to interrupt regular business for European and American multi national corporations unless Putin goes after something that might interfere with business profits.
I have no problem with Crimea being part of Russia. Rather, I strongly disapprove of the method of acquisition.
I get what you’re saying–I don’t support annexation of neighbor nations by force either.
The worst part is that we have no good options that don’t involve several hundred thousand people dying.
I don’t see us having a valid military option here.
1. It’s not our fight.
2. I didn’t realize we had the money for foreign military adventures at this point.
3. Our supply lines would be very long while Russia is literally right next door.
4. There are possibly worse places to send a carrier group than the Black Sea but I can’t think of any right now.
5. We’ve generally considered open conflict with Russia to be a bad idea.
6. Nukes
7. Nukes
8. Nukes
9. Nukes
10 – 20,0000. Nukes
Showed up for jury duty at 8:45, dismissed by 11:30 due to case being settled before trial, buzzed by noon- pretty good day all told.
4. There are possibly worse places to send a carrier group than the Black Sea but I can’t think of any right now.
Can you imagine being aboard one of those ships? Just waiting for it…NO THANK YOU.
Showed up for jury duty at 8:45, dismissed by 11:30 due to case being settled before trial, buzzed by noon- pretty good day all told.
Now, see, that’s how Monday should be done. Well played.
5. We’ve generally considered open conflict with Russia to be a bad idea.
Three answers:
Oui
Ja
Ja
4. Da
consults with Napoleon,
Bismark, Kaiser Wilhelm, HitlerBismarck died in 1898. Doesn’t matter, really: Kaiser Wilhelm would also answer
Ja.
Tip-O-the-Hat to ‘Charles XII’
http://theimpolitic.blogspot.ca/2014/03/the-liars-crusade.html
Face it, only if one is staggeringly uninformed about basic physics and chemistry, geology and paleontology or mentally impaired and basically dishonest, is there any need to treat the fundamentals of science and mathematics as “opinions” that can honestly and reasonably be held by honest and reasonable people.
Few people would take the argument that because one can’t come up with a final figure for Pi all numbers are so equally probable that I can’t be mocked for saying it’s 4 or worse. Would anyone honestly assert that I must be allowed in every classroom to insist that it’s 4 because there’s an old paleolithic legend I choose to delude myself with? But it seems that there are more than a few who will, for many sinister and stupid reasons, tell you that facts are irrelevant and demand the right to interrupt your evening’s entertainment and your offspring’s education to demand respect for stupidity.
(((Sounds alert for the volunteer Public Works heros.)))
Face it, only if one is staggeringly uninformed about basic physics and chemistry, geology and paleontology or mentally impaired and basically dishonest, is there any need to treat the fundamentals of science and mathematics as “opinions” that can honestly and reasonably be held by honest and reasonable people.
Exactly. It’s not as if you need a fucking degree in any of that shit to be able to process basic ideas and compare them to reality. One should also be able to consider the source of information before believing anything. If Pat Robertson is giving you what he calls scientific information you should not believe a word of it, and secure your wallet ASAP.
http://xkcd.com/54/
[DERP]Kaiser Wilhelm[/DERP]
tsam historical FAIL.
(((Sounds alert for the volunteer Public Works heros.)))
this troll is so sick, gross, odious, tedious, idiotic, etc…but you know what i like the most about it? how it yells (or hammers) ‘hypocrisy!!!’ towards this blog and its commentors, yet chides its main crush (da) about hanging out here where he’s not wanted…so, add clueless to the above list…
Indeed. That’s Kruger-Dunning effect at work, bbfk.
Indeed. That’s Kruger-Dunning effect at work, bbfk.
so when you look up dunning-kruger in the dictionary, there’s a picture of our troll…
Few people would take the argument that because one can’t come up with a final figure for Pi all numbers are so equally probable that I can’t be mocked for saying it’s 4 or worse.
Heretic! The Bible very clearly states that it’s 3.
Yup, here’s his mugshot right here…
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4wC_0elwmHg/UTYQ3jae1PI/AAAAAAAAIWE/2traJqFqqsg/s320/stupid02.gif
I’m not here for friends.
i’m here for the pathetic thrills i get from trolling…yeah, that’s soooooooo much better…
Rare footage of Dennis found — drop everything, people, he has concerns that need addressing.
That’s Toronto, BTW.
From McClatchy:
I saw this painting in 1977 during my Journey, when it was under restoration after a crazy man slashed it in 1975. Wiki:
He attacked the figure with the red sash, and dark area to the right of the yellow figure. Why didn’t he cut the the yellow figure? (My guess is that the figure is such a marvelous triumph that even a crazy man restrained himself.) The restoration was sorta cool to watch in progress: It was in a room adjacent to the gallery, seperated by a large pane of glass.
The Night Watch was a commissioned group portrait: The individuals pooled their money to pay Rembrandt. (I imagine the richest contributers got the best treament. The figure in yellow must have laid down a bundle!).
The ‘militia’ were more-or-less social clubs for rich merchants and solid burghers; an excuse for dressing up and playing soldier every now and again….but were mostly about feasts and drinking (and perhaps wenching?). They purchased the Night Watch for their company’s banquet hall. One of the clues that painting is a group portrait is that everyone seems to be looking in a different direction.
Franz Hals, best known for The Laughing Cavalier, made much of his living by painting group portraits. If you have an opportunity, I highly recommend the Franz Hals Museum in Haarlem, a hop-skip-and-jump north of Amsterdam. There are FOUR remarkable group portraits in the museum. I would go dig out a sample, but this comment is getting w-a-y too long!
I’m an Old Masters junkie, particularly Dutch & Flemish … Venetian & Florentine … and Spanish. I developed this love in some of the greatest museums in western Europe. I taught myself art history–particularly the Italians–with Michelins.
Are you from TO, CRA? I’m in NOTL.
I was never big on the Dutch masters, just didn’t get it. Then on a few occasions I spent many hours wandering the Rijksmuseum, nicely buzzed. Now I get it.
CRA: That was hilarious! I especially liked the two teenagers mocking the guy with silent, goofy behavior. That wuz a great link!
I deserve a special bonus of Big Boros Bucks for making a transition from Ukraine to the Dutch School of painting.
Is Fenwick stoned? We wonders, aye, we wonders….
I was going to wait to get through the article but this prompted me to ask:
I’m unfamiliar with the actual evidence stating that Larry Summers did discriminate in hiring… I thought he was just a sot incapable of not putting his foot in his mouth.
Do you have a link for that one?
DA, is just another person who comes here to laugh at idiots like you, trollfarts.
We don’t quite understand this hard-on you have for him…. kinda weird.
This is troll logic, my friends:
Perhaps it is a symbiotic pathology. (Also good band name.)
As I recall Summers’ sin was that he said perhaps there is a biological basis for the gender disparities we see in STEM and stuff. I’m pretty sure he said he wasn’t saying there was, just that the evidence wasn’t in to rule it out. But my memory is for shit anymore and he might have said or done all sorts of nimrod shit.
Here is some pleasant diversion
The Laughing Cavalier, Frans Hals. The lace and embroidery is amazing. Wallace Collection, London
The Meagre Company, a group portrait by Hals. The figures are lifesize. This is in the Rijksmuseum.
The Officers of the Saint Adrian Militia, Hals, in the Hals Museum. The tied orange sash is unbelievable. Also the sword hilts and baldrics.
Are you from TO, CRA? I’m in NOTL.
Nope. I have spent a week in Vancouver, maybe 1.5 days in Calgary. Never Toronto. Currently I’m in Milwaukee.
Fenwick — the only reason I knew of that video: it has been used at least once in a type of psychotherapy. (I wasn’t the subject, that time.) Subject was instructed to listen over and over, then watch over and over, as a form of controlled exposure to something disturbing.
Hals was absolutely brilliant in portraying fabric, lace, metal, and glass.
I gotta quit this and do some grocery shopping !!!!
I gotta quit this and do some grocery shopping !!!!</i.
So, munchies. Fenwick confirmed stoned. Don't drive!
controlled exposure to something disturbing.
I presume the ‘something disturbing’ that the subject repeatably viewed (or listened to) was the out-of-control guy shouting. I did see some strong parallels to the right-wing mindset. Anger, shouting the same thing over and over and over. Entitlement: “I want to shop!”; the world revolves around him.
Reichwingers are like pre-Copernicans; they believe the world revolves around them. (Similarly, they ignore data and deny science.)
The Officers of the Saint Adrian Militia
I can tell this is a bunch of wealthy individuals playing soldier. The weapons are much too ornate and look to be mostly ceremonial. The real thing would have been much more work-a-day looking.
Yes, Fenwick, some people are triggered by angry shouting. I think the Toronto Mall Guy is a good selection because there’s little-to-no substance to it … no politics, religion, etc. It’s pretty primal.
There’s a phrase I’ve heard used many times in engineering, referring to a workplace devoid of females. On at more than one occasion it was uttered with a tone of pride. And every time it was said with a grin, as if there was some sort of frat-boy homoerotic in-joke involved.
In context, it usually goes along the lines of, “Wow, this place is a real sausage factory.”
My reaction is always, Really? Sausage Factory?? What a fucking fountain of wit you are. Are you proud of your ability to make that observation, or are you just coming on to me? Because honestly, even if I was attracted to frumpy, pudgy men, your grooming habits are horrible. (That last bit is pretty much universal among male engineers.)
At least engineers are not actively hostile towards women in their occupation… it’s more like awkward and uncomfortable. But enough so that many will choose an all-male workspace given the option.
Which seems ironic, because I find female engineers easier to work with… men’s egos are so inflated and fragile. God forbid you suggest that a male engineer’s design has a flaw or can be improved; it’s like a personal insult. It takes male engineers decades to get over that. (And to learn when to admit they don’t know something…)
Women engineers, on the other hand, seem generally eager to share ideas and accept criticism (when its kept professional and impersonal), and show no reluctance to saying “Gee, I don’t know. I’ll research it and get back to you.”
Plus, women generally smell much better.
Upon further reflection, most male engineers never get over being butthurt when their ideas or designs are criticized. In fact, the ones who climb the ladder grow egos even more inflated and fragile.
God forbid you suggest to a male Director of Engineering or CTO that his idea can be improved upon, or -worse- make a technical decision that he wanted to make…
In my experience, the mature, experienced male engineer in a position of authority who can accept criticism of his work and admit when he doesn’t know something is a rare beast. But I was fortunate to work for one the first 10 years of my career, which has made me a better manager during the subsequent 20.
Hals painted a self-portrait
[fuckety-fuck; operator error.]
…as a sergeant (‘ensign’) in the background of another group portrait in the Hals museum.
ES&D,TF skrev, to Pennis re DA:
We don’t quite understand this hard-on you have for him…. kinda weird.
Then you don’t know trolls, and specifically you don’t know how kismesis works. (Cue Troll Whitney Houston singing “How will I know if he really hates me?”)
And while we’re on the subject of DA — no, this is insane troll logic.
overall, the two genders embody unique neurologies lending to each gender excelling at unique tasks.
I’m going to speculate that Brandon Ferdig is not actually a neurologist, and has very limited experience with brains.
Timely article here.
Buggrit. Timely article:
http://www.popsci.com/article/science/stop-looking-%E2%80%9Chardwired%E2%80%9D-differences-male-and-female-brains
Smut, what’s that site where the d00d inserts comical captions on Renaissance/Old Masters paintings? I was looking all over for it so Fenwick could yuck it up, but I’m drawing a blank here.
Riddled? No, here you go: http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com
BBBB & Smut Clyde: Thanks! I bookmarked it. Looks like fun.
Ah! Thanks, Mr. Loomis, for that fascinating window into the troll psyche.
While I managed to grok the Dunning-Kruger component, I now realize I was five celery sticks short of full understanding.
Memo to self: finish writing that Riddled post about “Vermeer homages in Schoenherr’s artwork for 1970s Analog covers”.
I know that’s you Dennis I can see your IP address.
Major, do you think the troll likes gladiator movies?
It’s so cute how Pennis thinks that jacking other posters’ nyms will disguise its essential hollow idiocy and save it from being fed to the kôtotsu.
Glad someone else here thinks the word kismesis when it comes to DA and Dennis.
We could have a big Homestuck convention here but I get enough of that on tumblr.
Dennis, when do you think the Gigapause will end?
Riddled? No, here you go: http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com
That site’s a kewl hoot, thx … the art is great and the captions are good-to-great
Rare footage of Dennis found — drop everything, people, he has concerns that need addressing.
that particular footage always makes me sad…it’s never amusing when someone who clearly has some sort of mental illness and/or disability is put on display…the daughter has a friend who would do exactly the same thing if he was under the impression that the mall would be open when he went to there to do his shopping…
Riddled? No, here you go: http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com
Thanks, old chum!
BBBB & Smut Clyde: Thanks! I bookmarked it. Looks like fun.
I figured it would be right up your alley.
That site’s a kewl hoot, thx … the art is great and the captions are good-to-great
It is a hoot… beware, though, of the potential time-sink. It could be as dangerous as “TV Tropes”.
It is a hoot… beware, though, of the potential time-sink. It could be as dangerous as “TV Tropes”.
uhhhhh, yeah…i wish i wouldn’t have followed that link because that stuff is hilarious…
that particular footage always makes me sad…it’s never amusing when someone who clearly has some sort of mental illness and/or disability is put on display…
In this particular instance, I think the issue is that he doesn’t immediately present as someone with a mental illness- his diction and accent are refined, so he comes across as a snooty, entitled twit (which might well be its own form of mental illness).
My immediate reaction to his initial demand that the employees open the mall would probably have been, “Get over it, Thurston.” but I sure as hell would not have videotaped the whole thing. I once worked as a private investigator, I have had more than my fill of videotaping people without their permission.
In this particular instance, I think the issue is that he doesn’t immediately present as someone with a mental illness- his diction and accent are refined,
true…i never picked up on that, but i also know special needs kids/adults who are very particular in their diction because that is how they were taught…and they’re very careful to get their words right…
at any rate, SCOTUS! has my full attention today…and wouldn’t you know it, i’m chockablock with appointments and meetings today 🙁
that particular footage always makes me sad…it’s never amusing when someone who clearly has some sort of mental illness and/or disability is put on display…the daughter has a friend who would do exactly the same thing if he was under the impression that the mall would be open when he went to there to do his shopping…
I understand. On the other hand, I have limited patience for mentally ill people who act out in anti-social or aggressive ways. If in doing so they trigger my wife’s PTSD, then we have to deal with that. We’re troubled people too, in our respective ways, but we’re trying not to burden y’all with it unnecessarily.
That man yelling at the mall has a responsibility to himself and society that I think he’s capable of fulfilling, but wasn’t at the time. The mockery in the video and the comments is pretty mild. I kinda hope this man has seen the video after the fact. Maybe he could use a reminder of why he’s supposed to take his meds? The police did not, in fact, arrive to chop his dick off, etc. In the video, he maintains that he’s the rational one, so it’s unclear why he’d mind everyone seeing it. You can’t claim you’re fighting the good fight and then object to the memorial, not even if you’re mentally ill. It may be that interacting with him is better than ignoring him; the kids, for example, are providing useful context at no great cost to his psyche.
I understand. On the other hand, I have limited patience for mentally ill people who act out in anti-social or aggressive ways. If in doing so they trigger my wife’s PTSD, then we have to deal with that. We’re troubled people too, in our respective ways, but we’re trying not to burden y’all with it unnecessarily.
life ain’t easy even on a good day, is it? thanks for sharing the perspective you have…and also, i wasn’t criticizing you for posting it or for anybody finding it amusing…i just can’t roll that way…but i also can’t watch videos where people wipe out in a spectacular fashion which obviously injures them…if they have a huge wipeout and get up and walk away, that’s different…also, the lady trying to ride her wheelchair up the escalator cracks me up everytime…mostly because it is something i could see myself attempting…
bbkf — wipeout videos I find very uncomfortable. I have a fear of broken bones (I’ve broken several toes, and possibly my foot, but nothing more). Just watching the impact gives me a queasy feeling.
Fuck you, you fucking fucks. Go back to your caves and kill yourselves already.
http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/tennessee-passes-bill-allowing-lgbt-students-to-be-bullied-in-the-name-of-religious-freedom/news/2014/03/25/84801
Fun surnames I’ve encountered so far today:
McQuitty
Everhardus
You and bbkf are both phonies.
and you are a fuckwad,
I don’t comprise my beliefs, my family or my loved ones just to make nice to people so they’ll like me, bbkf. People on the Internet, no less.
me either!!! gosh, it’s nice we can find common ground…
In a civilized society we all compromise to get along. I know that is not the Tea Party way which is why our country has become so much less civilized lately, but it is the way reasonable people do things.
Maybe my problem is that I never read Catcher in the Rye.
apropo:
Maybe my problem is that I never read Catcher in the Rye.
i read it lo, many moons ago and typically read through it super fast…i mostly remember finishing it and going, ‘meh’…i still wonder if i should re-read, this time more closely…also, too his ‘corny’ and ‘crumby’ are so cute…
So lots of folks are talking about Scalia and the Hobby Lobby case, how he has boxed himself in, maybe he can find something in the (ridiculous) religious freedom restoration act, blah blah blah. Jebus fuck, people, just drop the pretension that Scalia feels bound by stare decisis, the Constitution, his own prior rulings, anyfuckingthing. Fat Tony will always find some bullshit pretense for ruling the way he wants to regardless of all the aforementioned. He’s terribly good at it.
i read it lo, many moons ago and typically read through it super fast…i mostly remember finishing it and going, ‘meh’
I found the protagonist insufferable… the 14 year old me wanted to hit him with a shoe. I did re-read Ethan Frome a couple of years ago and I found it one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever read, while the 14 year old me thought ‘meh’. Now, THAT’s the sort of book that is utterly wasted on teenagers- you can’t appreciate it until you’ve gotten a taste of how utterly stifling existence can be when you have no options.
I doubt Catcher in the Rye would have the same impact.
So lots of folks are talking about Scalia and the Hobby Lobby case,
I laughed my ass off at some constitutional law professor this morning on the TV bringing up his old rulings and court precedents and implying that any of that shit will have any bearing on his ruling. Not gonna happen. This will be another one of those 5/4 splits–right side under the pretense that corporations are people and deserve constitutional liberties–other side under the pretense of not being batshit fucking insane.
I’ve never read it, and have been assured by many people that it is too late for me to read it, no longer being an adolescent and all.
i read it lo, many moons ago and typically read through it super fast…i mostly remember finishing it and going, ‘meh’…i still wonder if i should re-read, this time more closely…also, too his ‘corny’ and ‘crumby’ are so cute…
You totally should re-read it. I just read it again about a year ago, having not read it since I was like 16 and it was a completely different book.
This.
I’ve never read it, and have been assured by many people that it is too late for me to read it, no longer being an adolescent and all.
If that were true, it would have been relegated to the 50s era youth fiction like today’s Twilight series.
You can identify with it.
… then GOPers might give a shit!
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/document-points-to-nixon-in-my-lai-cover-up-attempt/
Interesting piece about Mr. Salinger here on Slate:
http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/the_spectator/2013/09/interpreting_catcher_in_the_rye_the_one_big_mistake_people_make.html
Jebus fuck, people, just drop the pretension that Scalia feels bound by stare decisis, the Constitution, his own prior rulings, anyfuckingthing. Fat Tony will always find some bullshit pretense for ruling the way he wants to regardless of all the aforementioned. He’s terribly good at it.
And terribly obvious about it. Disrespect comes off him in waves.
For the first time in years, I had Jehovah’s Witnesses come to the door. They hand me a flyer about an event they’re having, and tell me they’d love to have me attend a commemoration of the death of Christ.
“Will they serve beer?”
“No, it’s not that sort of event.”
“I guess I’ll have to bring my own.”
Then we had a light conversation about the Egyptians and Sumerians brewing beer, and one of the ladies mentioned the “water into wine” miracle at Cana, and we parted ways in good spirits.
Funny Witnesses, who knew?
Then we had a light conversation about the Egyptians and Sumerians brewing beer, and one of the ladies mentioned the “water into wine” miracle at Cana, and we parted ways in good spirits.
Funny Witnesses, who knew?
of course around here, we know all the j.w.s so they either tend to not knock on your door so much or yeah, you just shoot the shit…one time, i was with hubbkf at a person’s house where he was installing some electronic stuff for the guy…met his wife, we had a great visit…like a week later, there’s a knock on the door…jehovahs…i opened the door and there she was! we squealed and then laughed, had a nice visit…
i am wearing a new white shirt…and am having a veggie spaghetti (with zucchini spirals as the pasta)…what will happen next?
I had a couple of young lady JWs in their twenties, one of whom was black.
“Did you know the Bible approves of slavery?” I asked.
The young ladies were incredulous that such a bizarre thing could be… So I got out my iPad and we googled “bible and slavery quotes”
Their young eyes opened wide as we read through the many quotes, and the young black lady seemed especially keen to hear more. And as I told them, “We know that slavery is evil… so why didn’t Jesus come right out and say so?”
I never heard back from either one of them, but I like to imagine that they began to see another side of their religion for the first time that day…
If you really want to freak them out, tell them that you are an apostate.
They seem to be nice people, that’s why seeing them taken advantage of to such an extent is sad.
DAMMIT!!! i was almost home-free…
I just eat their brains.
On the OP… Last week, I spent most of it with a local high school’s FIRST Robotics team at the Wisconsin Regional, running our robot Whatnot into walls. It was a ton of fun and very tiring, and we have inspired several high school students to pursue STEM careers, including a couple of women.
My wife is a mechanical engineer, now working in IT, and she has developed kind of a shell to ignore the differences for women in those fields. She has to for survival, I guess, and it helps that she works for a global company that makes hiring and promotion of women and minorities a priority.
But we have to constantly work to keep the teenage-geek-boy tendency toward bigotry and misogyny to a minimum. FIRST does a very good job at it, and girls are well represented at the events. Not nearly on a 50/50 basis, but certainly more than in the field itself. I hope we are training them well to be adequately assertive in their future….
And I can say straight up that the girls we’ve worked with are pretty much the same spectrum in ‘being able to build stuff’ as the boys on the team. In fact, it has become a running joke in the shop that one of our girls is better at tightening bolts than the boys.
I’ll bet it’s front and center, too.
DAMMIT!!! i was almost home-free…
Brain-stains are pretty easy to clean.
DAMMIT!!! i was almost home-free…
You’re NEVER home free. One of the lessons of my
forty four32 years on this planet.I’ll bet it’s front and center, too.
based on my mother’s experiences, front and top…
Damn, I just read Dinner at Deviant’s Palace, a novel about a cult deprogrammer working in a post-nuclear war LA… I should have traveled with the Witnesses to their cult headquarters in order to **SPOILER** their **SPOILER**. Read the book, you dirty-minded little lambies.
I’ll bet it’s front and center, too.
’tis!
Brain-stains are pretty easy to clean.
g-dang it, i wish i like organ meats…would come in handy…
LOL @ ORGAN MEATS
You’re NEVER home free. One of the lessons of my forty four 32 years on this planet.
in my forty eight that feels like 84 years, i have come to realize i need some sort of disposable, fashionable bib system…
LOL @ ORGAN MEATS
i knew someone would lol the organ meats…
i knew someone would lol the organ meats…
I’ll bet you knew who would do it, too.
B^4 Have you read much of Tim Powers’ stuff? He is one of my favorite authors. I was simultaneously delighted and appalled that his ‘On Stranger Tides’ got made into a Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Delighted, because one of my favorite authors got a huge paycheck, appalled because it wasn’t anything like his book after they hammered into shape to fit that franchise.
i have come to realize i need some sort of disposable, fashionable bib system…
I just ran totally out of fucks to give. I shall give fucks no more forever.
I just ran totally out of fucks to give. I shall give fucks no more forever.
related service advisory.
KITTY!!!
I love those no fucks to give internet memes. In fact I just love internet memes. They make me happy to be alive in this age. I lived pre-meme and it WAS PURE FUCKING HELL. Hardly anyone cared about zombies.
B^4 Have you read much of Tim Powers’ stuff? He is one of my favorite authors.
The Anubis Gates is one of my all-time favorite novels… I could re-read it again and again. Damn, the plotting of that novel is so tight, you could poke the book in one spot and the whole thing would jiggle, like a jello mold. I’ve read over half of his stuff, and will catch up on Last Call and its sequels next. Declare was another top-notch book… Charles Stross was told not to read it before finishing his first “Laundry” novel, because it would have derailed his creative process.
I was simultaneously delighted and appalled that his ‘On Stranger Tides’ got made into a Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Delighted, because one of my favorite authors got a huge paycheck, appalled because it wasn’t anything like his book after they hammered into shape to fit that franchise.
I’ve long had a fascination with Blackbeard, so I loved the book. I’ve never seen any of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies, so I can just kinda ignore that they happened and revel in the fact that a lot of Tim’s books were rereleased in the movies’ **heh heh** wake.
related service advisory.
i was really rooting for the ‘fuck this’ kitty…
I love those no fucks to give internet memes. In fact I just love internet memes. They make me happy to be alive in this age. I lived pre-meme and it WAS PURE FUCKING HELL. Hardly anyone cared about zombies.
i also love a good internet meme…in fact, this relevant meme is my favorite right now…
The JWitlesses left their spoor here today but I was at work. Yes, you read right. Work.
Yes, you read right. Work.
what are you trying to say?
My wife is a mechanical engineer, now working in IT, and she has developed kind of a shell to ignore the differences for women in those fields.
A shell, huh? How intriguing. When does it hit the market? What colors is it available in?
What colors is it available in?
pink, of course.
there it goes, the last fuck I give…
Sounds like somebody needs a fuck transfusion.
Fenwick, that’s one for the BotB.
Hardly anyone cared about zombies.
Some things never change.
there it goes, the last fuck I give…
and a flying fuck at that.
imma just come out and declare ‘fuck transfusion’ as the best botb name evar…
My wife is a mechanical engineer, now working in IT, and she has developed kind of a shell to ignore the differences for women in those fields.
So a kind of exoskeletal carapace? I would have thought it would be easier to trap an IT dude and steal his skin.
Zombie Cologne.
Q. How does that lawnmower fly?!!
A. Surprisingly well.
Q. How does that lawnmower fly?!!
Needs moar remote control. Lawnmower drone. Make it so.
Zombie Cologne.
The zombie pictured has no nose; how do you suppose he smells?
The so-called “death cologne” would be made from a combination of three stinky molecules found in rotting flesh: putrescine, cadaverine, and methanethiol.
Here’s a couple more entries for the ol’ goth baby name book.
The zombie pictured has no nose; how do you suppose he smells?
probably pretty putrid…
Lawnmower drone.
“A damn dirty drone’s been following me. See it up there?!”
“Don’t be paranoid, dear. That’s just a lawnmower.”
You just read Dinner at Deviant’s Palace? A book I never read, for some reason or other.
I KAN HAZ UR COPY NAO PLZ
I don’t read zombie
shit – wait do zombies shit?stuff so I don’t know if it was an original idea in Spengler Dampniche’s first zombie novel. That was where I saw it, wasn’t it? Fuck, my brain skilz are fading fast.I bought that, got about halfway through it, was really liking it and then I managed to misplace it. I should probably just buy another copy, ‘specially since there’s a sequel now. But gawdammit, as soon as I do that the first one will show up!
Spengler Dampniche’s first zombie novel.
the sequel is on my iPad, waiting for me to finish my current book. I liked the first quite a bit.
grrr. tagfail.
I blame Troofy.
Fuck, my brain skilz are fading fast.
yuck.
Spengler Dampniche’s first zombie novel.
the sequel is on my iPad, waiting for me to finish my current book. I liked the first quite a bit.
i ipad-ed the first also…also enjoyed it tremendously which surprised me…normally, i’m not into zombies (YES, I SAID IT)…i do need to get the sequel as well…
There will definitely be lawnmower drones in my zombie novel.
imma just come out and declare ‘fuck transfusion’ as the best botb name evar…
Isn’t your son in a band? If not, he will be!
You just read Dinner at Deviant’s Palace? A book I never read, for some reason or other.
I KAN HAZ UR COPY NAO PLZ
Pup, you live in the shadow of Powells! Hmmm… I could send you a copy of the book along with a shopping list.
It’s been years since I’ve been in Portland. I remember spending a good long time in Powells, talking with a pleasant employee about Beverly Cleary’s books, which take place in Portland. Hmmm… I should have proposed to that employee, if she had accepted, the two of us could have gone picking huckleberries on Mount Hood so we could bring the berry bounty over to Pup and the Ho’s place so Pup could make a pie.
Whoa, that’s like “The Last Temptation of the Bastard”… sorry, Yonkers, you know I love you.
Happily, Beverly Cleary is still alive and kicking at 97. I should write to her to thank her for everything. A few years back, when I was going out with a girl from Krakow, I bought her a bunch of Beverly Cleary books so she could get a better handle on English grammar. She worked with a girl named Ramona, so she thought they were a hoot.
My zombie novel will feature snipers in diapers.
I’ve been meaning to put up a review of Spengler’s new novel, which I finished a week and a half ago. It’s good, less of a “hit you in the gut” book, more of a “mess with your head” book, though there are a couple of really gruesome scenes.
There will definitely be lawnmower drones in my zombie novel.
Peter Jackson’s attorneys would like to have a word with you. Peter Jackson actually made good movies once.
which take place in Portland.
i guess i had forgotten that…if i ever even actually knew it…huge fan of cleary’s…
I should have proposed to that employee, if she had accepted, the two of us could have gone picking huckleberries on Mount Hood so we could bring the berry bounty over to Pup and the Ho’s place so Pup could make a pie.
okay, this is just said…you are quite the romantic aren’t you… here’s your song…
You’re just trying to marry me off so you can get tipsy at the reception.
You’re just trying to marry me off so you can get tipsy at the reception.
well, DUH!
Q. How does that lawnmower fly?!!
With enough thrust you can get anything to fly.
You’re not the only one.
With enough thrust you can get anything to fly.
and how!
With enough thrust you can get anything to fly.
and how!
Perfect set up, perfect punchline… time to take the show on the road.
Most times I’m in Powell’s I browse through the skeefee section. Never noticed a copy.
Last Call and Expiration Date were great but Earthquake Weather was … it just wasn’t tight.
7 votes from Fucking fuck Democrats.
With enough thrust you can get anything to fly
I see what you all do there.
———————-
This thread is mucho fun to read! It’s also chock full of possible band names. The thread has Dunning-Kruger, J.D. Salinger, Franz Hals, anti-zombie cologne, food pr0n, women engineers, flying lawnmowers, … and that’s just the stuff I remember off the top of my head!
It occurs to me you will NEVER find a right-wing blog thread that has anywhere near the inventiveness and wide-ranging subjects. Based on those I’ve read, conservative threads serve as dreary, predictable echo-chambers for the blog post–and that’s pretty much it. If a commenter goes off topic. it is to another reichwing Talking Point or to spout bilge about the Looney Libruls.
Of course, Sadlyville also has echo-chamber comments. (Reality has a liberal bias.) … but we go flying off politics and into also sorts of off-topic goofiness. For instance, ever seen a right-wing comment thread with a Poetry Slam? Sexual induendo and euphemisms? Links to fascinating NON-politcal material? (I have learned much by glimpsing topics I would never think to pursue on my own.)
Also we don’t march in lock-step. I’ve seen some heated and animated arguments here. Been part of several myself.
The only disagreements in conservo-comments are to posit ever greater degrees of paranoia, and more extreme cheerleading for stand-you-ground violence.
I only go when a Sadlie provides a link, and points to the rotteness of the mangos. Off the top on my head I’ve read several comment threads at American Stinker. Also Gay Patriot and Renew America
Also, I am not an idiot. I could provide a l-o-n-g list of experiences and accomplishments. Here one category as a sampler: I’ve delivered TWO commencement addresses: Lawrence (KS) High School, and Hampshire College (MA). Idiots–except politicians–rarely have such opportunities.
Please go away. You are not welcome. You might be if your comments ever went beyond personal insult, copypasta, and stale regurgitation of reichwing spin.
(((My apologies to Sadlies for ignoring the Do Not Feed signs by the bridge.)))
i read it lo, many moons ago and typically read through it super fast…
I read it some years back (in my “too old” 30s) and found myself thinking “Apparently teenage wangst has a timeless quality.”
Thanks to the volunteers! That was a super-fast cleanup … accomplished while I was bashing out my long comment above.
This thread is mucho fun to read! It’s also chock full of possible band names. The thread has Dunning-Kruger, J.D. Salinger, Franz Hals, anti-zombie cologne, food pr0n, women engineers, flying lawnmowers, … and that’s just the stuff I remember off the top of my head!
It’s been a while since I’ve exhorted you to start a blog. I know you want to concentrate on writing fiction, but I think the blog format would suit you well because you have such a variety of interests. You could intersperse long-form geopolitical essays with regular BotB goofiness, Albuquerque travelogue pieces and previews of your fiction. I know I’ve harped on this subject in the past, but you’re a natural.
Also, anybody who’d characterize you as an idiot is mean-spirited and jealous, old chum.
Also, anybody who’d characterize you as an idiot is mean-spirited and jealous, old chum
it’s almost like you’ve never met our troll before…
oh, while i’m remembering, i have friend who is turning 55 this year and we are having an all out two day celebration in her honor…cuz that’s what kind of friend she is…anyhoo, i’m thinking she would love some limoncello…i’m thinking you have a good recipe/method…
He made idiotic, blanket statements that were naive and untrue. That he couldn’t back up.
hmmmmm…sounds remarkably similar to a certain troll here whose name rhymes with ‘tennis’…
oh, while i’m remembering, i have friend who is turning 55 this year and we are having an all out two day celebration in her honor…cuz that’s what kind of friend she is…anyhoo, i’m thinking she would love some limoncello…i’m thinking you have a good recipe/method…
Da vero!
I use grain alchohol, but you can use vodka, just add less water.
Quick Henry, the Flit!
It’s been a while since I’ve exhorted you to start a blog
I’d offer the Empire as a test-bed for Fenny to coblog for a while, but my last dabble in cobloggery was quite a mess. The styles were too different.
Besides, if someone else has the keys, how can I shut it down without warning?
I know that’s you Dennis I can see your IP address.
Isn’t there some way to bar that address altogether? I donts knows how the intertoobs work, so I’m asking the more informed Sadlies. (Compared to my knowledge, that means pretty much ALL the Sadlies….)
Do you think that’s an intelligent statement you made,
hivenl’hiver that you wrote ‘never’ in all caps?It’s now le primtemps, BTW.
Isn’t there some way to bar that address altogether?
My version of FYWP does, but it’s pretty simple to use a proxy as a workaround.
For trolls like this, the best approach does seem to be ignoring. Granted, that is difficult when you have a counter-troll who delights in the moronic banter.
I almost posted a new foodpr0n blog entry but then I figured people would just want more so I didn’t.
…all those comments, lost in time…like tears in rain…
…all those comments, lost in time…like tears in rain…
More like a SBD fart in a tornado.
It must be really depressing to work so hard and have it all just disappeared moments after you’ve finished. If that kind of time was devoted toward something constructive – learning a language, playing guitar, painting a picture — imagine how much more fulfilled someone could be.
BBBB: I’m very grateful for all the encouragement you–and others–have given me over the years! It makes me feel good to know that my writing and stories are appreciated by people who I like and admire (even though I’ve never met them in meatspace).
But I can’t do it, compadre. I know myself well enough to recognize that it would pull me away from my fiction. (I’m currently inventing imaginary sources–with abstracts–for writing about Umbar, Harad, and Khand. As all of my fiction is invented history, I need to have my ‘sources’ lined up first. These were acquired by loremasters of Gondor in the Fourth Age, after the restoration of peace with previously hostile lands. This is list of the current titles. (May change. Many are multi-volume.)
Golden Book of Numenor [Numenor; compiled in Umbar after the Downfall]
Annals of Umbar
Harbour Legers
Books of the Castellans
Blue Palms Book
Annals of the Princes [Harad]
Tale of the Kings [Harad]
Translations of Khandian Lore [Khand]
Testaments of Elessar [Rhun and Eastern Lands]
you really wanna go there, dennis?
there’s a whole backlog of spam i can go to…
BBBB: Also, what’s the story of being a PI? How did you get into it? What’s required to get a license? Were you packin’ heat? What sort of cases did you handle? What was the weirdest or funniest one? Why did you leave the biz?
(Yet another Fenwickian Question Barrage…)
It must be really depressing to work so hard and have it all just disappeared moments after you’ve finished. If that kind of time was devoted toward something constructive – learning a language, playing guitar, painting a picture — imagine how much more fulfilled someone could be.
my theory is that it really gets it’s rocks off just thinking about all his psychoanalytical comments hitting their targets…since most commenters don’t answer it back because they haven’t even seen the comments, it can delude itself into thinking ‘ha! they don’t have an answer for THAT so it MUST be true! dennis, you are a genius!’
you really wanna go there, dennis?
I doubt it.
I suspect he won’t object to YOU wasting time there, though.
Name another one not meant to rile up the Marching Lock-steppers.
wait…i thought moving the goalposts was something liberals did…
Fenwick, don’t bother with Marching Lock-Steppers for BotB. It just sounds kind of dumb.
zrm, those are commie pastimes! Learn a language? This is ‘murka!
BBBB: I’m very grateful for all the encouragement you–and others–have given me over the years! It makes me feel good to know that my writing and stories are appreciated by people who I like and admire (even though I’ve never met them in meatspace).
Hey, you were the coiner of “nighthawks”. Working the graveyard shift, I’d always enjoy our back-and-forth palavers. Then AK and Smut would come by and suezboo would herald the dawn, and it would be time to go home.
But I can’t do it, compadre. I know myself well enough to recognize that it would pull me away from my fiction. (I’m currently inventing imaginary sources–with abstracts–for writing about Umbar, Harad, and Khand. As all of my fiction is invented history, I need to have my ‘sources’ lined up first. These were acquired by loremasters of Gondor in the Fourth Age, after the restoration of peace with previously hostile lands. This is list of the current titles. (May change. Many are multi-volume.)
Have you ever visited any of the Tolkien message boards? I bet there’s a lot of fanfic being shared there. How about a timeline between Tolkien’s fiction and Robert E. Howard’s “Hyborian Age”. I think an “Acheronians are the descendents of Black Numenoreans” angle would be entertaining.
Fenwick,
Here’s your blanket comment:
dennis, here’s your lack of reading comprehension showing again…let me explain this for you…fenwick is saying that he has never read a blog that has such variety, etc.
and then AFTER you asked him to name a couple of conservative ‘nlogs’ he’s been to, he did…
so, once again, you get it wrong when you are trying to be oh so right…
Fenwick, don’t bother with Marching Lock-Steppers for BotB. It just sounds kind of dumb.
besides that, we already agreed that ‘fuck transfusion’ was the best botb name evar…i wrote that comment, and since we all agree all the time always, it’s a done deal…
. You’re confusing the shit out if me, booboo.
trust me, this isn’t hard to do…
I bet there’s a lot of fanfic being shared there
Indeed but it’s predictable and limited in plots. There’s only so many Frodo does the dwarves, Legolas on Aragorn, etc combinations and the writing quality is poor.
Pup, you should shake things up with some wicked hot Bill the Pony/Watcher in the Water slashfic. Given the gap in the narrative, such a story would not conflict with the canon one iota, plus you’d get both the bronies and the tentacle p0rn community on board.
whoa…hubbkf and i just got our kitchen countertops measured for granite…all i can say is holy shit…and this was the cut-rate just between friends price…
whoa…hubbkf and i just got our kitchen countertops measured for granite…all i can say is holy shit…and this was the cut-rate just between friends price…
Watch out, Michelle Malkin’s going to start stalking you.
Watch out, Michelle Malkin’s going to start stalking you.
she’s the first thing i thought of…and the the estimate came in…and then i thought, how the fuck do people afford granite countertops?!?! our kitchen is tiny…i can’t imagine what a normal size one would cost…
We got granite via HD, the 2 cheapest granites were cheaper than anything other than formica and we got to pick the slab ourselves. I think it largely depends on your local contractors, though.
We got granite via HD, the 2 cheapest granites were cheaper than anything other than formica and we got to pick the slab ourselves. I think it largely depends on your local contractors, though.
what’s hd? we live in granite country, but i don’t think our local guys use the local granite for countertops too much anymore…not since there’s such a huge variety nowadays…i’m mostly surprised because he said he had some big remnants from some jobs that would work…and it would be super cheap because he already made his money off them from the original jobs we have two counters: one is 131/2 ft x 3 1/2…the other is like 44 x 44…over $2k…
and yes, dennis, you’re right…i forgot that i was going to add in ‘right wing’ and ‘comment thread’…
Home Depot. There was local granite in Mass, too(the pink granite on part of the Washington Monument was from a couple towns over)but it was WAY pricier than the Brazilian import.
Pup, you should shake things up with some wicked hot Bill the Pony/Watcher in the Water slashfic. Given the gap in the narrative, such a story would not conflict with the canon one iota, plus you’d get both the bronies and the tentacle p0rn community on board.
Sounds tempting at first but I fear I would then be associated with and surrounded by furries.
Granite is the best life cycle value for countertops, but definitely shop around, especially if there are many stone cutters in the area.
Also, you might want to look around and see if you might find a concrete artisan that might look at the fabrication. You can get some pretty funky colors and textures. It might be close to the cost for stone, though.
but if granite is definitely out of the question due to cost, look at different manufacturers for laminate. There are lots of manufacturers other than Formica, and the wide variety as well as the flexibility makes it a reasonable alternative to stone. You can replace it a couple of times before the cost of granite recoups.
Here you go, Fenwick- the timeline linking the 4th Age of Middle Earth to the Hyborian Age, because Conan of Cimmeria, later King of Aquilonia, is a lineal descendent of Aragorn, doncha know. Wilson and Shea covered similar territory in Illuminatus!:
There they met little people who had come down from the north after the snake folk had exterminated each other in some form of slow, insidious and stealthy civil war. (Apparently, the snakes never met in a single battle during all this time: the poison in the wine cup, the knife in the back and similar subtle activities had slowly escalated to the deadly level of actual warfare. The serpent people had an aversion to facing an enemy as they killed him.) The little people had had their own experiences with the lloigor, long ago, but all they remembered were confused legends about Orcs (whom Mama Sutra identified with the Tcho-Tchos) and a great hero named Phroto who battled a monster called Zaurn (evidently a shoggoth, Mama Sutra said.)
Many millenniums passed, and the little people and the followers of Ma-lik intermarried, producing basically the human race of today. A great law-giver named Kull tried to establish a rational society on Ma-lik’s principles, and fought a battle with some of the serpent people who had surprisingly survived in hidden places; most of this got lost in exaggeration and legend. After more thousands of years, a barbarian named Konan or Conan arose, somehow, to the throne of Aquilonia, mightiest kingdom on the Thuranian subcontinent; Konan brooded much about the continuing horrors in Carcosa, which he sensed as a threat to the rest of the world. Finally, he disappeared, abdicating in favor of his son, Conn, and reputedly sailing to the west.
Feeling that we were in a martini rut, we’ve been varying our evening cocktail. Tonight is Bee’s Knees, gin, a honey based simple syrup and lemon juice. Quite nice but even though we skimped on the honey, a tad sweet for us. One is enough. Yesterday we made Dark and Stormys. Tomorrow going to try something with rye and orange bitters. Maybe some sweet vermouth?
Oh, right. Cream of asparagus soup (YES it’s SPRING we gots Spargles!!!!). 21 day dry aged prime ribeye, sous vide. Spinach and cheese souffle. Profiteroles.
BBBB: Also, what’s the story of being a PI? How did you get into it? What’s required to get a license? Were you packin’ heat? What sort of cases did you handle? What was the weirdest or funniest one? Why did you leave the biz?
I got into it because a friend of an uncle was in the business and he needed some trash grabbed before the DPW picked it up, and I was in the area. The licensing was on a firm basis- he had things covered. 90% of my cases were auto accidents. The weirdest case was a case of two drunk guys building an addition on their boss’ house when one guy put a 3.5 inch nail in his buddy’s skull. When the EMTs arrived, they found that the boss had removed the nail, which had passed between the hemispheres of the guy’s brain. The sick thing is that the insurance company wanted to deny the guy’s disability claim. I had to interview the nailer, the nailee having emigrated back to the Old Country.
Home Depot. There was local granite in Mass, too(the pink granite on part of the Washington Monument was from a couple towns over)but it was WAY pricier than the Brazilian import.
The Brazilian is smoother.
I used synthetic stone (can’t remember the product name) in one house. It was a good bit cheaper than granite. Didn’t keep that house long so I don’t know how it holds up. Last time we reno’ed a house I made concrete countertops. That was FUN!
When we redid my wife’s bathroom last year we got a synthetic counter top.
yeah…we have a new company out here that does funky things with concrete…might have to check them out…
yeah…we have a new company out here that does funky things with concrete…might have to check them out…
Don’t, it’s a mafia front.
Don’t, it’s a mafia front.
d’oh! and they just made me a sponsorship offer for my upcoming event that i couldn’t refuse!
That was FUN!
how would you feel about re-living that fun?! i can offer booze…oh, and i would let you cook….win win win!
Indeed but it’s predictable and limited in plots. There’s only so many Frodo does the dwarves, Legolas on Aragorn, etc combinations and the writing quality is poor.
Related:
(1) I started saying “Sensual Samwise” as an alliterative outburst meaning (if there is any — I spew alot of nonsense) “Friend with Benefits.” The wife hates it, I guess because she doesn’t care to think of hobbits as sexual creatures. But there is a convincing edited video (can’t be bothered to link) showing Frodo and Samwise in a romantic light.
(2) I go to a restaurant bar where a nice young lady works. She has a name from Tolkien (chosen by her parents), and it’s lovely and fitting. I have taunted her as the “World’s Tallest Hobbit” but she’d be among the prettiest. I have not said as much because that’d be flirting, and confusing as well (is the “Prettiest Hobbit” a backhanded compliment? And: the dopes at the bar understood the first joke without drama, so why muddy the waters).
(3) Tangential, but there’s that song, “Sex Dwarf,” by Soft Cell. I like to imagine myself in a press conference, and the mike passes to me, and I ask (feigning seriousness): “My question is for Sex Dwarf.” For a cookie, what’s the question?
Around here, Corian and the other Solid Surfaces are pretty much the same cost as stone.
(4) At the end of the “Lord of the Rings” movies, Sam gets married to a hot hobbit-woman. I’m just saying. I don’t imagine the fan fiction dwells too much on this element, which is a shame. It takes no suspension of disbelief whatsoever to posit them on their honeymoon. As opposed to Legolas + Aragorn.
When we redid my wife’s bathroom last year we got a synthetic counter top.
Our powder room, we did with a rough Chinese green/burgundy slate floor and a green marble vanity top with red veining. It looks spectacular. and since the vanity was small, it wasn’t too spendy. The floor tile was kind of pricey, but spent way more on the install.
Tangential, but there’s that song, “Sex Dwarf,” by Soft Cell.
“Sugar and spice, isn’t it nice? Luring disco dollies to a life of vice.” Damn, that is a great song.
At the end of the “Lord of the Rings” movies, Sam gets married to a hot hobbit-woman. I’m just saying. I don’t imagine the fan fiction dwells too much on this element, which is a shame. It takes no suspension of disbelief whatsoever to posit them on their honeymoon. As opposed to Legolas + Aragorn.
We’re talking slashfic here, so you have to kink it up- in this case, Frodo (who’s living in the same house), Sam, and Rosie would have a three way.
Soft Cell: “Sex Dwarf,” banned version
I’m not mocking; I respect the powers at work in people.
CRA: – ““My question is for Sex Dwarf.” For a cookie, what’s the question?”
Is it true what they say about thumbs?
B4, I was actually on the Wold Newton mailing list with Al Schroeder when he was writing that. (My good friend Chris Davies, words you never thought you’d see a remotely sane person write, had come to the same conclusion about Middle-earth and the Hyborian Age, with the addendum that the Reunited Kingdom of Gondor and Arnor was the predecessor to the Gunderland of Conan’s time.) I didn’t contribute to it, but I did bring it to Al’s attention that he wasn’t the first to figure out Dick Grayson’s real paternity.
B4, I was actually on the Wold Newton mailing list with Al Schroeder when he was writing that.
It’s a funny concept, and has led to some creative re-imagining of the literature..
Have you ever visited any of the Tolkien message boards? I bet there’s a lot of fanfic being shared there.
Not really. I only went to one message board in 2007 for a few days. I had a piece of humor I wanted to share. (It was a self-parody of my own writing project.) The other commenters were very positive. I didn’t mention my fiction project. I have only shown the complete text of The Lore of Minas Tirith to three people. One person has seen about 20 pages. I have never submitted ANY of my fiction for publication.
Also, The Lore is NOT ‘fanfic’ in the generally-understood meaning of the word. I have been working on this project for decades; this is sustained effort. My BA and MFA are in Fiction; I’m a craftsman and perfectionist. So it’s NOT like spending a weekend writing an episode for Xena the Warrior Princess. Moreover, everything I write must fit seamlessly into Middle Earth and Tolkien’s text.
The characters of LOtR appear tangentially from time-to-time. The entire perspective of the work, however, is from the world of Men. I am particularly careful to avoid tampering with the ‘special kindreds’ that Tolkien created: hobbits, dwarves, elves, druedain (‘Woses’), ents.
Whenever one of the ‘special kindreds’ appears in my work, my historian’s voice emphasizes that these are only the stories as told or reported by Men and may therefore be incomplete in knowledge or understanding, or misinterpretations. Moreover, I am careful to leave uncertainty: conflicting accounts, gaps in the historical record, ‘less reliable’ sources (e.g. battle accounts written by only one side, extolling their own heroism).
The Middle Earth joke that I posted is probably short enough–about one paper page–to put up in Ville du Sadlie. (It is w-a-y shorter than Cerb’s posts!) It would give people an opportunity to read Fenwick’s fiction. I will make myself some coffee and cogitate about this.
(((Also FYWP. I am NOT posting too fast.)))
Is it true what they say about thumbs?
WRONG. I have no idea what you’re talking about, but you should probably be ashamed of yourself.
You’re a helluva guy, Fenwick.
The characters of LOtR appear tangentially from time-to-time. The entire perspective of the work, however, is from the world of Men.
I’d posit that LotR is about the transition to a purely mortal phase of the world… similar to the end of Lloyd Alexander’s wonderful “Prydain” series (if you’ve never read these, they are a wonderful series of children’s books inspired by Welsh mythology- for a more grownup take, Evangeline Walton’s retelling of the Mabinogion is gorgeous)- the “world of Man” is a crucial element of the story.
Also, The Lore is NOT ‘fanfic’ in the generally-understood meaning of the word. I have been working on this project for decades; this is sustained effort. My BA and MFA are in Fiction; I’m a craftsman and perfectionist. So it’s NOT like spending a weekend writing an episode for Xena the Warrior Princess. Moreover, everything I write must fit seamlessly into Middle Earth and Tolkien’s text.
It’s a pity you didn’t meet up with Christopher Tolkien back in the mid 70s when he was putting together the Silmarillion.
(((Also FYWP. I am NOT posting too fast.)))
WP likes it slow, I guess.
CRA said,
March 26, 2014 at 6:03
You’re a helluva guy, Fenwick.
And he hangs out with zombies. So he’s got THAT going for him. Which is nice.
zrm, you gonna invite Von to the Chicago regionals? I think the robots would cheer her up.
The info is on the Empire. When I invite Von to things, bad things happen to her. The universe disapproves of our friendship.
What-Not the Robot has, though, told me that he likes girls with guitars. Bang The Catapult is less definitive on the whole thing; he/she merely says “BANG” and throws things in the air, which seems to be indeterminate.
I think you could turn it around this time… it’s been pretty rough for her, a zrm run-in could push her all the way around the luckosphere.
I think the robots would cheer her up.
Robots cheer EVERYBODY up, even if they’re not sexy (because I KNOW that is your next link).
I mean, until the Robot-Zombie Alliance takes over the world.
a zrm run-in could push her all the way around the luckosphere.
Problem is that not only do we have a regional to kick ass at, we are technically chaperones and adults-in-charge for a baker’s dozen of high school kids so the adequate amount of beerage is not in the cards.
Von’s a responsible lady- she can forgo the beerage for a couple of days (much as it pains me to write that).
“Technically Chaperones” should be a really bad “Creed” cover band.
I have a tough time imagining what a ‘good’ Creed cover band would sound like.
what a ‘good’ Creed cover band would sound like
“Splat” or “Thud” or “Boom” are all acceptable.
If any of you find yourself with wayyyyy too much free time, check out this G+ account. It belongs to an allegedly black woman Republican businessowner, and it is a shrine to the First Ultra-American Church of Hating Obama.
She’s being WRONG ON THE INTERNET. Unheard of!
“Technically Chaperones”
John Cooper Clarke’s follow-up to “Evidently Chickentown”.
I second Fenwick’s observation, this thread has been a great read.
…
It’s TWO pages in length. It pretends to be the Forward of a ‘revisionist’ history of Middle Earth. Like all suspect revisionist history it deserves two titles linked with a colon. Thus:
Sauron the Great: Misunderstood Visionary of the Third Age.
I can’t get to my electronic file easily–long story–so imma gonna re-key it for the nighthawks…even at the risk of a long post. Maybe I’ll break it into two or three chunks; there are good logical breaks within it. I’ll see what it looks like in Preview.
Forward: A Tragic Victim
Surely no ruler in life or artifice has suffered more vile calumny and mean-spirited character assassination than has Sauron the Great, the Dark Lord of Morder, Lord of the Rings, and the pre-eminent personality and statesman during the Third Age of Middle Earth.
For literally thousands of years, elves, dwarves, hobbits, ents, wizards, and others of that ilk have poured forth a relentless flood of bitter vitriol, calling Sauron the Great Enemy, the Base Master of Treachery, a megalomaniac of pure malevolence, a malignant spirit bent on total domination of Middle Earch, a malicious tyrant who delighted in despoiling lands and enslaving the helpless and defenseless to his evil will.
Sauron’s detractors even stoop to the most threadbare racism, demeaning and defaming the ‘creatures’ of Morder: orcs, trolls, and Nazgul. The slick Sauron-haters would have us believe that–because Sauron’s servants were not ‘human’–they were little more than vicious untermensch bedeviling Middle Earth. (If that is the standard, then what, pray tell, are we to make of the ‘humanity’ of talking trees? Would they burn the Onodrim on the bonfires of racial purity?)
After so many centuries of such rubbish, it is no easy matter to find the truth. But the truth about Sauron the Great is quite different than the shrill ranting of that crowd. It is high time for the history of Middle Earth to move beyond the glib and simplistic ‘wisdom’ of popular fiction and see Sauron properly as the greatest visionary ruler of the Third Age.
I have spent many years working with hitherto undiscovered source documents from Mordor, carefully translating scrolls in the archives of Barad-dur. This simple expedient of looking at what Sauron actually wrote is evidently far too wearisome for the elves and dwarves, for it would entail learning the language of the Black Speech. They profess to find that tongue odious and hateful, and therefore unworthy of study. How delicate their sense of linguistics. I’m sure their reluctance has nothing to do with laziness. Or with slipshod scholarship.
I have also conducted extensive interviews with personages in Mordor, the orcs and trolls. The Nazgul, of course did not survive the fall of the Dark Lord, but one of them, Gothmog, left a detailed personal diary; from its pages much can be gleaned about the inner workings of Barad-dur and the true personality of its Lord. (There are also some delightful anecdotes about the good-natured ‘invisibility’ pranks the Nazgul sometimes pulled on the orcs and trolls.)
(((Here endeth the first page of the Forward)))
(((page the second)))
But the most important source for this re-appraisal of Sauron’s career is indeed the Dark Lord himself. He is, of course, now merely “a cankerous spirit that can only gnaw on its own malice”, to use the phrasing in popular writing about Middle Earth.
What tommyrot! Though disembodied, Sauron is a perfectly gracious, charming, and engaging conversationalist. He was quite willing to patiently explain his motives and discuss the details of his rule in Mordor. I found the Dark Lord to be entirely candid, and willing to converse about errors in judgment, defeats and reverses, and even about episodes and events that somewhat tarnish his reputation.
It will no doubt surprise readers to learn that the Dark Lord did not have an expansionist or aggressive agenda. Instead, Mordor’s wars were an earnest effort to secure natural borders: the shores of the Great Sea surrounding Middle Earth.
Sauron is also completely candid in acknowledging that he sometimes selected inappropriate lieutenants and was poorly served by them during the crises of the Ring War. Surely the rivalries among Napoleon’s marshals pale in comparison to the (literal) blood feuds among the Nazgul. Indeed, the case can be made that the sheer ineptitude of the Nazgul was the single most important factor in the Downfall. By failing to apprehend the infiltrating halfling saboteur, the Nazgul bore the chief responsibility for the destruction of the One Ring and the fall of the Dark Lord.
Even the Ring of Power has been woefully misdescribed and wrongfully portrayed. Sauron reveals that the ring’s inscription was entirely benign:
One ring to find them all, one ring reach them.
One ring to bring them all, and in the classroom teach them.
The Ring was in fact an educational device–a cosmic teaching aid, if you will–certainly not an instrument of eternal subjugation. Much of the misunderstanding that surrounded the rule of the Dark Lord can be traced directly to the elves’ shoddy translation of the Ring Inscription!
It is time to liberate the history of Middle Earth from the simplistic myths and half-truths peddled by semi-literate elves and dwarves with axes to grind. This book is the true story of Sauron the Great, misunderstood visionary of the Third Age.
(((Fenwick’s real name))
University of Mordor
Barad-dur
I’d posit that LotR is about the transition to a purely mortal phase of the world
I agree. (It is about much more than that, of course. But in the ‘history’ of Middle Earth, LOtR is exactly what you posit, imo.)
It’s a pity you didn’t meet up with Christopher Tolkien back in the mid 70s when he was putting together the “Silmarillion.”
Well, I was working as a military intelligence analyst in the mid-70’s. I never imagined myself as a writer until the European Journey in 1977. I kept a detailed journal and got into the habit of writing every day. The Silmarillion came out during the Journey!! I was able to wheedle a one-day advance copy from a bookseller in Edinburgh!!
I took LOtR with me and used it as a ‘guidebook’ for my imagination. Examples: The Alps and Pyranees became stand-ins for Middle Earth’s mountain ranges; there were Second Age Gondorian ruins all over the place; every walled city was a stand-in for Minas Tirith’s outer wall; every castle a version of the Citadel; every ‘old town’ street labyrinth a glimpse of Minas Tirith’s backstreets and alleys. I used 8 Michelins (and some other guidebooks) for the real world; I used Tolkien for my imaginary world.
Also I was plenty much stoned on Turkish hash. As Pup mentioned earlier about being buzzed in the Rijksmuseum, it was a blast going through museums and palaces and castles and ruins while high.
————————
Three years later, in 1980, I wrote a 20-page scene-and-setting piece and titled it The Lore of Minas Tirith and drew my first map of the city. Of this early writing, nothing but the title has survived. The map–the fifth iteration–is now complete (except the rough-draft lowest circle). I wrote no more of the Lore, because I was working on an espionage novel…which I continued to work on in grad school. When the Soviet Union fell, I lost my bad guys; I abandoned the novel and began work on the Lore.
(((This is prolly w-a-y too much autobiography. Better chop it off and take a shower.)))
Also thanx to CRA and teh Zombie!
Tomorrow going to try something with rye and orange bitters. Maybe some sweet vermouth?
As a fellow lover of Manhattans made with rye, may I suggest the smoothest Canadian whiskey this side of heaven, “Forty Creek”
http://www.fortycreekdistillery.com
5012, not for all the tea in Acapulco. I’ll save my “attempting to punch a screen so hard the person on the other side feels it” for that sad day when Joel Stein appears on a TV show I watch.
@Fenwick: Sauron’s detractors even stoop to the most threadbare racism, demeaning and defaming the ‘creatures’ of Morder: orcs, trolls, and Nazgul.
Kirill Eskov’s The Last Ringbearer actually develops this notion seriously. (“Oh, the Orocuen are a rotten lot…”)
The Bugaloos
I. The bugaloos the bugaloos!
They’re in the air, and everywhere, flying.
High-flying, loose-flying, free:
free as a summer, bugaloos.
II. Breeze-happy bugaloos, the center cannot hold.
The bugaloo in its widenin’ gyre cannot see the buggerer.
Everywhere the blood-dimmed tide, the wicked full of zeal,
and on the other hand, feckless dudes lacking all conviction.
I ask you, what rough bugaloo slouches toward bethlehem
to be borne aloft?
I keep writing humanstuck fanfiction (an alternate universe genre where all the characters are human) and I keep wondering if I should just shave off the serial numbers and make them my own.
I keep writing humanstuck fanfiction (an alternate universe genre where all the Homestuck characters are human) and I keep wondering if I should just shave off the serial numbers and make them my own.
I also keep double-posting.
Also thanx to CRA and teh Zombie!
Wait, what did I do?
You will all burn in hell for your zombie and LotR magic stuff.
Zombies are Magic.
You came back here.
Some say I NEVER LEFT!
Mwah-hah-hah-hah!
I have never read Tolkien and most of the SciFi your guys chat about. But that’s cool.
I enjoy your alternative history from another POV than the “Official” one, Fenwick. Takes some commitment to do that. Did you enjoy the Flashman series by Fraser ? That would be a “*Flash* I can do that” moment for me.
I always read everything in the comments even when, as now, I don’t know the topic at all. This happens in conversations.
Regarding the Bugaloos, I have to say that Caroline Ellis looms large in the imaginations of a generation of straight males (gay females too, I imagine)- she did that skimpy pink tutu justice.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
March 26, 2014 at 18:09
Regarding the Bugaloos,
Well, this certainly explains your obsession with the natural world. Always looking for a cute bug in a tutu.
Fenwick- Bugs in Tutus.
I gotta read some more Flashman books. More than the 1-2 so far.
For the BotB: Sexy Pixie
Yeah, I’m still carrying on about Caroline Ellis.
zrm, you DEF have to invite von to regionals…! i know what it’s like with the chaperoning teh kids part, but i think she would get a kick out of the whole thing…
zrm, you DEF have to invite von to regionals
I will try yelling on my blog, but dunno if she will be able to hear it….
For the BotB: Sexy Pixie
Sexy Robots in Tutus?
Sexy Robot Tutus! Sexy Robot Tubas!
OK, now I’m just being silly.
I can drop her a line old chum.
It’s better than eating them.
Librul atrocities! Film at 11.
It’s better than eating them.
Jon Swift disagrees.
Thousands of aborted, miscarried babies in UK incinerated
Only if you also oppose cremation. As well as flushing of the millions of miscarriages that women have, often without being aware of it.
Point of order, though: they’re not babies. They are blastocysts and fetuses. The science is pretty clear on it. Oh, I forgot, science doesn’t count anymore. So just put down that computer, bunky, because science and burning babies is what makes it work!
Sheesh, this guy is a dimwit.
Have you ever actually seen the result of an abortion, whether by decision or nature ? Do you want to save and store or give a funeral for menstrual pads? Cos it is the same thing – the breaking down of the uterine wall.
Have you ever actually seen the result of an abortion, whether by decision or nature ?
And the thing is, it is only a very small minority of them look like the graphic posters held up by anti-abortion terrorists along the side of the road. And it would surprise me not at all to find that most of those posters are faked.
The sick fantasies of abortion foes notwithstanding, the tissue removed during those procedures is medical waste. It needs to be disposed of properly. Which means incinerated. Abortion foes are worked up because they think that those bits of discarded flesh are human beings. Anyone who is pro choice does not concede that point. I doubt anyone is upset by this, that isn’t already upset that these women chose to have an abortion in the first place. Anyone attempting to exploit this contrived issue for manufactured outrage is simply in the business of manufacturing outrage.
BBBB, any chance something can be done about the hostile nymjacking? It’s getting all over the hall carpet.
Anyone attempting to exploit this contrived issue for manufactured outrage is simply in the business of manufacturing outrage
It’s a growth industry these days. Shit, you can get a well paying job writing this bullshit with no education or talent at all. The question is: WHY AM I NOT DOING IT?
(The answer is because I would suck at it)
The science is pretty clear on it.
RILLY? LIKE THE ‘THEORY’ OF EVOLUTION? RILLY? U LIBZ ARE ALL CRAZY
the business of manufacturing outrage
Now there’s an industry I would like to see off-shored.
Stop putting my former nym on your stinky steamers, idiot.
They don’t want to answer the question of exactly what point do they consider them human beings.
That’s because there isn’t an answer. It’s a continuous process of development, of increasing complexity. There is one thing that is agreed upon in science and medicine, though: it’s not a baby until it is born.
Sheesh. Could you try and not parade your ignorance around? It’s embarrassing.
Stop putting my former nym on your stinky steamers, idiot.
this would be a good time for Substance McGravitas to stop by with a crop of JanusNode nym alternatives for you to choose a new one.
Liberals are hypocrites! Also, nym-stealing is terrible.
You know, it’s funny, but in all the years I’ve been listening to RWNJ’s cheering for war, bombings,invasions and defoliation, I have never once heard one of them say… “Oh no! what if innocent women, or children, or fetuses get killed due to our war, bombing, invasion or defoliation?”
NOOOOO, they’re always like, “Kill! kill! kill! USA 1111111!”
The same crowd that supposedly thinks fetuses are so important don’t give a shit about the thousands of children each year die as a result of handgun idiocies.. because “Guns! Guns! Guns! USA 1111111”
That’s because there isn’t an answer. It’s a continuous process of development, of increasing complexity.
Nope. Not true. A cluster of dividing cells that can’t be seen by the naked eye has a soul, you bloodthirsty zombie.
Here’s something we can agree on, however. If there’s a enough brain to feed a smallish zombie, best to not kill it. Unless, of course, you ARE a zombie, but that’s just mean.
“Oh no! what if innocent women, or children, or fetuses get killed due to our war, bombing, invasion or defoliation?”
OH YES, COLLATeRAL DAMMUGE!! FAP FAP FAP
The sick fantasies of abortion foes notwithstanding, the tissue removed during those procedures is medical waste. It needs to be disposed of properly. Which means incinerated.
Stillborn babbies and babies that live only a few hours OTOH get put into jars to take home and put on the mantle.
When they removed my thyroid I asked if I could take it home so I could prepare a fabulous appetizer but they were rather insistent on incineration. I didn’t think my spleen would be very good eating so I didn’t bring it up on that occasion.
HAHAHA
Troll is a dumbfuck. Troll is a dumbfuck who thinks tsam likes wars if the right people started them. How much more proof do you need to figure out that you’re out of your depth and hopelessly stupid?
whoosh! there go the goalposts again!
What a ludicrous argument style.
Should the mother if the aborted have a choice in whether or not she wants her fetus used as a heating source?
Don’t know about Great Britain, but in Amurica they can make money off of your discarded medical waste and not pay you a red cent. Is this a great country or what?
The answer on this side of the pond: No, she does not have a choice.
I didn’t think my spleen would be very good eating so I didn’t bring it up on that occasion.
You need to make toast to go with it.
http://www.culinarypen.com/2013/04/pigs-spleen-on-toast.html
Obama’s wars are good wars.
Which wars would those be?
Obama inherited 3 wars. Most, if not all on this blog think he should have gotten out of those wars faster than he has. Most, if not all have stated so on this blog. I know you have convinced yourself through your own twisted logic that all the SadlyNaughts are hypocrites, but your delusions are showing once again.
tsam moved the goalposts first.
Jeez, what a WATB. Besides, that’s a lie. tsam responded to you, as ill-considered as that is. Much like this comment.
Take it away, Tears In Rain Patrol!
considering the turn this thread has taken, is it time to start posting placenta recipes?
Look, you knew I was a zombie when you invited me in.
I didn’t think my spleen would be very good eating so I didn’t bring it up on that occasion.
That’s only because you’ve never had vastedda.
whoosh! there go the goalposts again!
Trolls don’t care about goalposts.
Flinging feces 360 degrees is the fun of the game,
Of course, my bloodthirstiness pales in comparison to BBBB’s enthusiasm for organ meats.
Krauthammer has a history of using Nazi comparisons:
http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2008/07/29/26834/krauthammer-obama-nazis/
Bonus Pasty Doughboy quote:
Last February, National Review contributing editor Jonah Goldberg said, “You know, when Barack Obama campaigns, he’s basically saying, ‘I’m a silver bullet. I’m going to solve all your problems just by electing me.’ FDR, Hitler, all these guys, they basically said, ‘All your problems can be solved.’”
Bookmark it, libs!
It’s just a theory
Krauthammer doesn’t have to be a Nazi to be vile.
Fenwick: Is Enthusiasm For Organ Meats a band name, or album title?
Dessert topping. Also, too.
Of course, considering Krauthammer’s worship of corporate control and his authoritarian fetish, “Fascist” is perfectly applicable.
Dessert topping. Also, too.
Not a floor wax, though; that would be gross.
Goalposts moved.
Shush, honey, I wasn’t talking to you. run along and let the adults talk.
The point, o mean-spirited one, is that having thrown stones at Obama by making the Nazi comparison, Krauthammer is in a glass house of his own making.
this would be a good time for Substance McGravitas to stop by with a crop of JanusNode nym alternatives for you to choose a new one.
But this one has built-in nym-jack security…
tsam moved the goalposts first.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
MOM! HE STARTED IT!! WAAAAHHHHH
Sorry. I couldn’t leave that one alone. I’ll stop.
I’m not really arguing, DA. I just like bad-mouthing that asshole Krauthammer. He needs a good glittering. He’s wrong nearly as often as Bloody Bill Kristol.
But this one has built-in nym-jack security…
good point. Carry on.
I’m using my phone before heading out- one of the other mods will be by with the zamboni soon.
I posted all the names of former frequent commuters who abandoned this place to draw done if them back in.
Don’t flatter yourself. I never even saw that.
I came back because Fenwick did me a solid and asked me back.
Mods, after you delete this latest batch of trool-scat, go ahead and delete this one as well. He doesn’t even deserve the recognition of a response remaining after his tears have been washed away.
Some guy said,
March 26, 2014 at 21:12
zombie, you know why you’re back here, don’t you?
I posted all the names of former frequent commuters who abandoned this place to draw done if them back in. It worked.
That’s fucking funny, he thinks he has influence. His comment was deleted before anyone read it. It’s creepy how obsessively he follows this site. He probably has sheets of butcher paper on the walls with a timeline and annotations about who is commenting. Outside of his trolling, he has no life whatsoever.
Friggin’ troll, thinks he has magic powers. Too bad he can’t conjure up some friends.
Hetman? Krauthammer is related to the dude from Metallica?
Who would have guessed.
He probably has sheets of butcher paper on the walls with a timeline and annotations about who is commenting
He HAS to. That reduction ad absurdum quote he attributed to me came out a LONG time ago.
He contacted you from that list.
Nope. He didn’t. Time for your nap, honey.
autocorrect, get off my jock, k?
Now we see what it likes, what motivates it. Disruption. It pretends to be an anarchist, but really just wants to scatter feces and vandalize because it feels left out.
Not arguments, not pointing out hypocrisy, but base, childish jealousy. When others are enjoying friendship and conversation, the reaction is anger and it lashes out in rage.
Sad, really. Best thing would be the banhammer. remove the temptation. on both sides.
He’s wrong nearly as often as Bloody Bill Kristol.
And, one can be of Jewish ancestry and support the Nazis, as this article from, of all places, Breitbark, demonstrates:
Wow. That’s obsessive. And misguided.
Krauthammer would have loved to have been a Nazi, but he doesn’t qualify on at least two requirements.
Jeez, this guy is basically Gollum, with this place simultaneously being his precious and his hated Baggins. He sits alone in the dark, nursing his hatters and his obsession. Every once in a while, he has a Smeagol moment, in which he’ll try to join in on a joke, but the mods are like good ol’ Sam, figuring he’s beyond pity.
Remember, Sam’s distrust was just as instrumental in the destruction of the ring as Bilbo’s and Frodo’s pity.
Bastard out, I’m gonna run out and get something trashy for lunch.
When they removed my thyroid I asked if I could take it home
I wanted to bring my testicle home in a jar and keep it on the mantelpiece but the doctors insisted on keeping it for biopsies and histology. At least that’s what they said.
I didn’t think my spleen would be very good eating so I didn’t bring it up on that occasion
The projectile vomiting has to get really bad if you are bringing up your spleen. Remember, Chartreuse is not a session drink.
Nursing his hatreds – stupid autocorrect!
Adds a delightful touch of color to the resulting vomitus though.
At least that’s what they said.
What, you think they played beer pong with it?
Nursing his hatreds – stupid autocorrect!
Nursing his hatters seemed somehow absurdly correct.
I wanted to bring my testicle home in a jar and keep it on the mantelpiece
Dude: Planters can.
And, one can be of Jewish ancestry and support the Nazis
Calling Gertrude Stein a Nazi was a short-lived fad in 2012, relying on made-up facts.
sheesh, tigris.
You can get Planters in jars too. Much better visual for this sort of thing. Personally I would go with a macadamia nut jar. Then I could have theme music to go with it.
What, you think they played beer pong with it?
I wouldn’t put it past them. I asked for a prosthetic replacement that had a battery and a built-in speaker so it could play “Bolero” during inappropriate moments, but did the doctors oblige? Did they bogroll.
slinked
Learn to conjugate verbs, honey. At least use the thesaurus that your Uncle Roy gave you.
Well, it was an article on the Breitbark site, so there is no guarantee of accuracy or scholarship in their stuff. I don’t have a dog in the fight because I’m sure that Stein not being a Nazi supporter doesn’t disprove my greater point: Jewish supporters of Nazis did exist, so being Jewish doesn’t immunize someone from supporting Nazi-like policies.
so it could play “Bolero” during inappropriate moments
Perhaps if you had asked them for it to play “Shooting Shark”….
Insert “swinging single” joke…
so being Jewish doesn’t immunize someone from supporting Nazi-like policies.
As I said, Krauthammer would be perfectly at home among fascists.
Austin: Thanx fer the link! The synopsis was a kick to read. The Lore is also a victim of the same problem noted in Wiki article:
That’s why there is little hope for the Lore ever seeing the light of day. (*) I’ve been writing it for eventual self-publication on the internets tubes with internal links up the wazoo, with most ‘articles’ about 4-6 pages. Also, the Lore is NOT a continuous novel-like narrative; rather, it is a collection of short stories and commentaries masquerading as history. (Most include excerpts from the ‘sources’ using archaic words and syntax. It’s so much fun to write “Then Isildur was wroth.” Who uses ‘wroth’ anymore?) I sometimes think of the Lore as ‘footnotes to footnotes’: Many articles expand on the Appendices, a rich source of Middle Earth’s history.
I also have articles ‘explaining’ minor flaws and inconsistencies in Tolkien’s text.(**). Many of the problems were introduced by the hobbits–especially Pippin’s accounts–from which Frodo wrote the Red Book of Westmarch. Tolkien’s translations, of course, are perfect. It’s Pippin’s fault!
(*) So why continue work on it? That, my friends, is a long story. Far too long for this comment, which is already becoming bloated way beyond what I intended!
(**) Example: What was the true nature of the crossings of Anduin at Osgiliath? Sometimes they are ‘fords’; sometimes ‘bridges’. In one passage Tolkien writes about the ‘fords AND bridges’ at Osgiliath! So I clarify the issue: only bridges. (Impossible to imagine fords across the Great River so far downstream, given its immense watershed.) Then why would Tolkien mention ‘fords’? The problem stems from ambiguous wording in the Red Book, which uses a generalized word for ‘river crossing’.
Then why would Tolkien mention ‘fords’?
Because he hated Chevys?
it was an article on the Breitbark site, so there is no guarantee of accuracy or scholarship in their stuff.
Teh excerpt you cited — “Stein, who was Jewish, supported the puppet Vichy regime in France in the Second World War through her friend, historian and Nazi collaborator Bernard Fay” — is enough warning that Breitbark were playing 7-degrees-of-separation. Presumably because modernist writer therefore Entartete Kunst.
sheesh, tigris.
tigris is INSENSITIVE and HURTFUL.
And he hangs out with zombies. So he’s got THAT going for him. Which is nice.
ZRM: I thought what you wrote was nice. That’s why the tanks. Btw, congrats on the conquering robot!
——————–
This thread has been so much fun to read! It deserves a Battle-O-the-Bands. I’m gonna begin culling band names….
congrats on the conquering robot!
It didn’t conquer much. Regional went poorly. But we have another one next week.
is enough warning that Breitbark were playing 7-degrees-of-separation.
I think they’ve done enough Barack HUSSEIN=MUSLIM COMMIE TERRORIST Obama shit to make it a fair assumption that they’re playing 23 degrees of separation with just about anything they try to prove.
This thread has been so much fun to read!
once it has been weeded, sure.
When they removed my thyroid
Wow, Pup! I could throw out another Question Barrage, but I’m hoping you will expand on yer own. Cancer, I assume? How many years ago? Did you have problems while finding / adjusting medications to take over the thyroid’s role? (Which is HUGE: It regulates many key functions.) I have a friend who had hers removed when she was in her mid-30’s, which adds to my usual curiosity…
that they’re playing 23 degrees of separation with just about anything they try to prove.
EVERYTHING leads to Hitler.
I think Question Barrage has to be a glam rock band with five lead guitarists.
Feces Splatter is a GG Allin tribute band made up entirely of trolls.
About 21,700 results (0.24 seconds)to “GG Allin tribute band”. This is why we can’t have nice things.About 21,700 results (0.24 seconds) to “GG Allin tribute band”. This is why we can’t have nice things.
There’s a lot of people with instruments who refuse to let lack of talent keep them from performing.
Smut Clyde is a sensitive folk artist who sings songs about lonesome testicles.
When they removed my thyroid
Wait until your pineal gland bursts out of your forehead. What a TRIP!
Thread Bare: That was hilarious! Srsly, how many other snark sites have a cappella physics jokes? (((Other Sadlies: Don’t be intimidated by the 8-minute length: the song is only six minutes.)))
EVERYTHING leads to Hitler.
What the hell did these guys do before Hitler? Ataturk = Pontius Pilate?>>> Voltaire = Attila the Hun???
how many other snark sites have a cappella physics jokes
Heck, Fenwick, There’s a whole band based on the idea!
OK, it’s neuroscience and not physics, and it’s not a cappella, but same difference.
Ok, here have some MC Frontalot.
Nymjack alert, mods.
All commenters; I am sure you will not be troubled too much to figure out which ones.
What the hell did these guys do before Hitler?
As I understand it, they had to make do with “class traitor” and “anti-american”.
Thank you, Tears in Rain Patrol.
elapsed time: 45 seconds.
OTOH, when Fox runs a segment about this, the chyron will have the correct party affiliation, for a change.
Nymjacks can’t hide ISP #s
Whoah. BBBB, the lack of self-awareness there is simply staggering.
Nymjacks can’t hide ISP #s
Can’t hide stupid, either.
BBBB, I think the funniest part is that, from what I know of you, you have one of the most active, engaged, social and outgoing lifestyles around.
Enthusiasm For Organ Meats
Also good would be a meat organ, a kind of vat-grown calliope. MAKE IT SO.
Also good would be a meat organ, a kind of vat-grown calliope. MAKE IT SO.
I was thinking some kind of meat-oriented accordion, fronting a polka band.
BUT NOT AS THE REEDS IN A BASSOON. YUCK.
OOH, you could use real vocal cords for the Vox Humana! And of course we all know which organ will be used for the flutes.
I was thinking some kind of meat-oriented accordion, fronting a polka band.
Nah, I can’t imagine how you would devise a suitable band name.
The Goofle reports a lamentable absence of “bacon accordion” images.
FIRE UPBAKE THE BASSOONSLBBBB, I think the funniest part is that, from what I know of you, you have one of the most active, engaged, social and outgoing lifestyles around.
Yeah, he actually seems to enjoy being around other humans. I’m jealous much.
I wanted to bring my testicle home in a jar and keep it on the mantelpiece but the doctors insisted on keeping it for biopsies and histology
Appears we have one more thing in common but I wasn’t in any condition to make requests. OTOH, when we assisted our vet friend in neutering Vasco and Socrates (say Sew crates) we saved their examicles in a kim chi jar which I kept prominently displayed in the kitchen.
Wenfick – yeah, thyroid cancer. About 6 – 7 years ago. I believe I’m lucky in that we nailed my dosing pretty much right away.
Also, I didn’t think my spleen would be good because it was basically road kill.
Years ago, I decided that choosing to generally like people is a great stress reducer. Some people are annoying as hell but can pretty much be ignored. Those people who can’t be ignored can be endured- most of them have problems so the should be pitied.
That being said, 80% of my time on the job, I am alone, so I don’t have to deal with coworkers (besides mah preshus kittehs). That makes dealing with people tolerable.
Years ago, I decided that choosing to generally like people is a great stress reducer
I try really hard to start off liking people, and generally I do OK with it. It can be difficult, being a bit of a loner and social outcast as a child (surprise).
choosing to generally like people is a great stress reducer
OTOH, choosing to find people annoying means that they drive one to drink, so it’s not all bad.
Also, I didn’t think my spleen would be good because it was basically road kill.
“Venting spleen” does not mean that you fill it with holes, Pupienus,
378 ! Could this thread reach Zardoz length?
Battle-of-the-Bands
(((Ten from Cerb’s post, edited ruthlessly to pare down the list…)))
Train to Crazy Town
Soft Underbelly
Tiny Lady Brain
Mortuary Science
Nerf Guns
Realm Beyond Reason
Daring Taboo
Aestheticians
Toxic Ideas
Little Tics
Perhaps Abe Lincoln said it best— “if you look for the worst in people, you will certainly find it.”
“Soft White Underbelly” was Blue Öyster Cult’s original name.
“Soft White Underbelly” was Blue Öyster Cult’s original name.
NEEDS MOAR SATAN.
(and cowbell)
I wanted to just see my removed wisdom teeth but I never did.
I also wished I remembered the surgery. It feels creepy that I didn’t as much blackout as have the drugs paste over the memory afterwards with a big piece of white paper saying “nope, nothing important happened”. I’m just a curious person is all!
a GG Allin tribute band made up entirely of trolls
Isn’t that a tautology?
“Soft White Underbelly” was Blue Öyster Cult’s original name.
Also Stalk-Forrest Group.
Some people are annoying as hell but can pretty much be ignored. Those people who can’t be ignored can be endured- most of them have problems so the(y) should be pitied.
Gosh, that sounds relevant somehow.
hmph. Not even a nod from BBBB on the link to the Amygdaloids or MC Frontalot?
378 ! Could this thread reach Zardoz length?
The tradition is 100 comments, but that’s for little mom-n-pop blogs. The recent one at the Empire was a special case, and kind of took off. Considering this is Sadly, I would suggest a threshold of 500. Not counting the Tears in Rain comments.
I also wished I remembered the surgery. It feels creepy that I didn’t as much blackout as have the drugs paste over the memory afterwards with a big piece of white paper saying “nope, nothing important happened”.
I popped for full anesthesia. All I remember is I was talking about a project with the nurse, and then they were trying to wake me up. The afternoon went by veeeerrrrrrrry slowly.
394 !!!!!
Battle-o-the-Bands
Classic Weasel
Disputed States
Gas Lever
Heavy Lift
20,0000 Nukes
Paleolithic Legend
Zigzag Lines
Solid Burghers
Symbiotic Pathology
Sausage Factory
Rare Beast
Kismesis
Troll Logic
Five Celery Sticks
Chockablock
I have one strange image from my wisdom tooth removal: seeing the dentist and assistant as if they were at the end of a looooong tunnel, and their arms reached all the way down the tunnel to my mouth.
I was talkin’ to a waitress, and she said she chose not to be asleep for her wisdom teeth, and that she didn’t take the painkillers they sent her home with.
I don’t understand these people.
I don’t understand these people.
yeah, I took the painkillers.
They didn’t give me many.
Since it was brought up….
Absolutely LOL’d at “Dwarves with axes to grind.”
Bravo, Fenwick. Bravo!
BBBB’s Nod. Obv a shoegaze band.
I was talkin’ to a waitress,
in a cocktail bar? When you first met her.
I suppose you picked her up, shook her out and turned her around, too.
I wanted to bring my testicle home in a jar and keep it on the mantelpiece but the doctors insisted on keeping it for biopsies and histology.
A similar thing happened to me after my wedding except now the missus keeps ’em on her nightstand.
I wanted to bring my testicle home in a jar and keep it on the mantelpiece
I suspect Mrs. Spat would have knocked it to the floor and eaten it.
hmph. Not even a nod from BBBB on the link to the Amygdaloids or MC Frontalot?
I was taking a nap after running some errands because I’m working overnight. The Amygdaloids are great, and the two female scientist/rockstars in the band (including a drummer who, like Jimmy McMillan, is a karate expert- she’s also an Israeli army veteran and an all round badass) would be great subjects for this post.
My favorite Frontalot song is It Is Pitch Dark– I yukked it up watching the video with one of the I.T. guys on the job… he was ecstatic to see all the old hardware featured in the video.
One of our departed kittehs, Toby, was an indoor/outdoor cat and would work with Lucy, the Orange, Leaky-Ass Dog in tandem on critter control. I never saw it, but I figure Toby would flush the little rotters and Lucy would knock ’em down. They would split the leavings and I was always left to clean up the carcasses. mice, gophers, bunnies, squirrels (nut munching bastards) and on one occasion a bird that apparently flew too close to the ground. Once, a sizable rat.
But I never got there early enough to stop Toby taking his due. Lucy let him have first choice, and it was always the head. NOM NOM NOM brains and eyes and tongue. It must have been like a Big Bad Bald Bastard picnic! I would always find Lucy worrying at the corpse, and Toby would be sitting some distance away, licking his chops and looking awfully pleased with himself.
Carnivores. Huh. What are ya gonna do?
Sheesh. About time the Bastard showed up.
Hey, I’m not on a conventional schedule.
Also, is anyone else amused by the “ALL YOUR NATE ARE BELONG TO US” coming from right-wing assholes? Conservatism is truly a cult, and they think that all other political types are obsessed with a cult of personality. They hate the theory of evolution, so they call it “Darwinism” and attack the man’s character (though he was one of the most enlightened figures of the 19th century). The raise obscure figures like Saul Alinsky and Frances Fox Piven to the status of major villains- to the extent that Piven received death threats.
Now, with Nate Silver, they view him as some sort of magical talisman which will grant them victory, even though the freak show GOP primaries haven’t even taken place before Silver made his prediction. No, that’s all meaningless, because Silver is now acceptable to the cult… Silver is gold, so to speak.
406 !!!!
Crapola! I somehow deleted the second list of 15 bands! Now I gotta through 2/3 of the thread, instead of 1/3. Why expend the effort, you ask? Because epic thread! I’ll make some coffee and jump in again….
BotB: Make Some Coffee and Jump In Again
Make Some Coffee and Jump In Again
Festival Name!
Also another reason for culling again: The lost list included Fuck Transfustion, which bbkf has already crowned the best band name of all time.
Also, is anyone else amused by the “ALL YOUR NATE ARE BELONG TO US” coming from right-wing assholes?
Any attack vector for a troll, I guess.
Memories are short. They attacked him incessantly for not admitting that their ‘unskewed’ polls indicated Rmoney winning in a landslide, like the voices in their head told them.
As has been pointed out, what Silver does is not magic, and Sam Wang, Kos, even Prof Hubbard outperformed him on predictions. But Conventional Village Wisdom is pretty entrenched, and all the works are good.
I do find it funny that a superficial, pseudo-mathematical argument is considered to be a significant assault against a world renowned, Nobel prize winning economist. I suspect Krugthulhu will weather this tempest in a teabag.
I wanted to bring my testicle home in a jar and keep it on the mantelpiece
See, I SHOULD have said “of course you did, because you’re half nuts.” So much for my insensitive and hurtful rep. SIGH.
“of course you did, because you’re half nuts.”
See, you really need to think before posting. Sigh. Such a lovely snark, and it was left on the cutting room floor.
Though you are probably acquitted, because anyone who thinks Smut Clyde is only HALF nuts had NOT been paying attention.
The Amygdaloids are great, and the two female scientist/rockstars in the band (including a drummer who, like Jimmy McMillan, is a karate expert- she’s also an Israeli army veteran and an all round badass) would be great subjects for this post.
My drummer buddy has a PhD in neurobiology and is a math whiz. She even gave a talk to Teh Googles Research about multifractals, which she worked on with Mandelbrot his own self, at one of the national labs.
She also has blond dreads down to the middle of her back. Total badass.
She also is having a hard time finding work, especially since she won’t work in high tech because of the asshole men in the biz.
I wish it wasn’t so. Women are, as a rule, soooo much better to work with than men. None of that constant measuring of the e-penis that dudes do.
it was left on the cutting room floor.
JUST LIKE HIS no, I think we’re done here.
tigris said,
March 27, 2014 at 4:26
so, you see what I do there.
Women are, as a rule, soooo much better to work with than men. None of that constant measuring of the e-penis that dudes do.
No kidding. Once, when we were discussing the relative scarcity of women in tech fields, I mentioned in passing that I am more likely to hire women than men. Wife Sublime said “I KNOW.” I changed the subject.
Fecking tagfail. Can I blame that one on an errant nymjack?
I wish it wasn’t so. Women are, as a rule, soooo much better to work with than men. None of that constant measuring of the e-penis that dudes do.
Cats are also easy to work with until they bogart your stuff to sleep on.
Very few women in our flight department. I’d guess the male to female pilot ratio is at least 10-1.
I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s closer to 20-1.
Cats are also easy to work with until they bogart your stuff to sleep on.
Cats. Hmmpf. As I document above, they are prone to bogarting the branes.
it was left on the cutting room floor.
JUST LIKE HIS no, I think we’re done here.
TIGRIS IS
BANDBANNEDI somehow deleted the second list of 15 bands!
Like yours is the only festival that’s ever done THAT.
I’ve got a ketty named Toby too and he’s got dreads of a sort of his own (cannut reach far enuf to clean hisself) so I suppose what I’m sayin is peace.
Toby cats represent, yo. Pour a bit of cream out for our passed brahs…
To our dear, departed kitteh friends.
Smut Bait
Okay y’all: I’ve clawed my way through the last 2/3 of the thread. But I’m stumped. This thread has been chock full of righteous band names. I’ll try to edit as ruthlessly as I can. But my sense of funneh is prolly not a universal sense of funneh: I’m afraid I’ll weed out names that others might find hilarious…whereas the ones I’ve retained are sorta of ‘meh’.
I don’t know how to resolve this quandry. The unedited list of possibles is–let me count ’em–51 !!! While I cogitate about how to handle this, I want to put up some replies and suchlike to other peeples.
Also need to think up a name for the festival…
(Right now imma reload the bowl. I’m down to dust. Almost gone, alas.)
Eddie: Thank you for noticing! It just spilled out in the first draft; I laughed as I keyed it. (Btw, are you a lurker who steps out of the shadows from time-to-time? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen yer moniker before….)
I was a lurker for years. I only rarely came out to praise particularly funny, clever comments / commenters… then I’d melt back into the shadows. (In truth, I was intimidated by the rapid-fire wit here, and feared I couldn’t keep up.) When I finally stepped into the light for realz, the SadlyNauts were welcoming …. and patient with a Luddite from the Cretaceous. So to any and all lurkers, here’s an invitation to come on in and join the fun !!!
“Soft White Underbelly” was Blue Öyster Cult’s original name.
OBS: Yeah, I’m always afraid that some meatspace band will have used the name or something similar. That’s why I usually go with two-word names … lessens the risk.
Pup:
(*) For other Sadlies: Because the thyroid regulates key organs, it is connected to them (by lymph, iirc?) and thus has ‘highways’ for the cancer to spread to other organs. Therefore it must be replaced with medication, which Pup and Kristin must take for the rest of their lives. My friend went through difficult trials until her best dosage was discovered.
(**) Iodine is uniquely suited to detect tiny post-surgical fragments of thyroid cancer that remain, or have migrated to other organs. Every iota of iodine (e.g. salt) must be gone from the body, so that (swallowed) radioactive ‘testing iodine’ will reveal any remaining cancer(s).
Okay, I’m writing on the fly, not doing links and research. I’m assuming Pup will correct any stuff I got wrong.
Smut Bait
Old news, BBBB.
Also too, any Voynich-Manuscript-related activities count more as Bald Bastard Bait, given its importance to Face in the Frost.
Smut, you and Thunder are trying to make me a Boing Boing fanboi.
Also Bastard Bait… Yuggoth found?
BBBB From earlier comments about yer wacked-out work schedule, I’m guessing you are a work. If so, then 3:15 AM, your time. I’m going to hang out. Don’t know how to present the band names, except that I put them up in chunks. Any suggests will be mucho welcome!
————————
I was moved by your piece about the Gray Mouser. Musta been an exceptional critter The photo of you ‘wearing’ the kitteh is wonderful …. especially when married up with your text. I can almost hear his purring motor running.
————————–
Also the link to the Voynich Manuscript is a PERFECT illustration of encountering nifty and fascinating things in Sadlyville about subjects I knew nothing about or would never have investigated on my own. This is also a perfect example of what a person NEVER finds in a right-wing thread. It’s not about politics at all, and it’s hard to twist into political meaning. (*) The Voynich Manuscript is mystery and cryptology and an arcane old leather-bound manuscript written in an unknown language. Is that too cool, or what? I love stuff like this !!!! Fires my imagination for inventing ‘source documents” for the Lore !
(*) Nevertheless I see several possible the reichwing can politize the Manuscript:
Wacka-doodle-doo conspiracy nutjobs because they can tie anything to anything …. using their mad skilz in linking through 23-degrees of seperation. I suppose Corsi–for example–could incorporate the Manuscript into the current conspiracies, easily enough. But the bestest is to cook up an altogether New Conspiracy: fresh, new, and Oh So Shiny !
Fundegelicals because of Work-of-the-Devil and unholy black magic. Even worse, some flourishes on the handwritten script–in an unknown language!–vaguely resemble Arabic, if you squint real hard, so Muslins !
Word Salad-shooters Who needs sentences or complete thoughts? Just motormouth away in the usual buzzword stream-of-unconsciousness … tossing in lots of ‘Voynich Manuscript’s. Garnish with Benghazi.
Btw, this is 452.
As Yet Unnamed Music Festival:
15 more bands that have signed up …. including Fuck Transfusion, which will headline the festival.
McQuitty
Eat Their Brains
Organ Meats
Bib System
Fuck Transfusion
Damn Dirty Drone
Death Cologne
Goth Baby
Picking Huckleberries
Snipers in Diapers
Quick Henry
Fart in a Tornado
Question Barrage
Granite Country
Surrounded by Fur
On Toronto Mall Guy:
he doesn’t immediately present as someone with a mental illness
Neither do I. Three medications keep it check (mostly).
This is 458. I believe we can push it over 500. In anticipation, the name of the fantabulous all-weekend, full-tilt, non-stop music extravaganza is ….
ZardozFest 2014
15 more bands have registered:
Technically Chaperones
Burn the Onodrim
Feckless Dudes
Bugs in Tutus
Sexy Pixie
Rain Patrol
Not a Floor
Lonesome Testicle
Learn to Conjugate
Derivative Works
He Hated Chevys
Conquering Robot
23* of Separation ((( * = symbol for ‘degree’)))
Been Weeded
Gland Bursts
I shall observe the Do Not Feed warnings by the bridge. And await the eventual arrival of the Public Works volunteers.
Which reminds me: Major props to ALL of the volunteers for promptly cleaning up the drool and spittle from this abnormally long thread ! In recognition of your selfless dedication, here is a laurel. And hardy handshake.
Suezboo: I’ve never read Flashman. Also, I’m in the same boat with you when the conversation turns to science fiction and/or fantasy. I have read very little of either–nor do I particularly want to (which must sound strange considering my fiction project). So I seldom know anything about the books folks are discussing. Same thing with comics and graphic novels.
For that matter, let’s add a slew of other topics where I don’t have much of anything I can contribute: cooking, beer, comics, hand-held devices, software, teevee programs, motorcyles, liquor … the list seems endless. But, like you, I read everything in the thread. When the topic is unfamiliar, I loften learn new things. Which as I’ve said elsewhere, is one of the reasons I like this place.
I am also a RE-reader. (For example, every 6 or 8 years, I go on an Epic Poetry binge.) It’s a blast to re-encounter a books four decades after first reading it. Also, I annote books heavily, so it’s fun–and sometimes strange–to re-discover commentary and passages I marked for emphasis as a young man. (There was some discussion of that phenomenon upthread in the Catcher in the Rye conversation. Btw, I’ve never read Salinger and have no desire to do so.)
I read fiction somewhat differently. It’s not purely entertainment; it’s also looking carefully at technique and craft and structure. Also, whether fiction or non-fiction, I read slowly and closely.
Here the final 15 bands that have registered (so). Altogether 70 bands have committed (so far) to…
ZardozFest 2014 !!
Class Traitor
Vat-Grown Calliope
Make It So
Bacon Accordion
Bake the Bassoons
Sew Crates
Fill It With Holes
Full Anesthesia
Old Hardware
Bastard Picnic
Use a Proxy
Satan & Cowbell
Paste Over the Memory
Cutting Room Floor
Prone to Bogarting
I used to read a lot of science fiction/fantasy but not so much any more.
Cerb: Before I forget, I hope you are feeling better and have fought yer way through the worst of The Crud !
Hiya Major! I’m pretty crispy now, and gotta pull the plug soon. I wanted you to know that my next streaming Netflix film is gonna be Dr. Strangelove… and I’m AMPED for the cockpit & crew scenes, now that you’ve explained what the crew positions are where they are located. I’m going to hit the Pause button a lot!
Now I’ve gotta hit the Off button. I had plenty much fun overnight. Let’s drive this puppy over 500!
G’night.
Nym-jacked at 14:51.
Fenwick, old chum, looks like Gollum wrote that column on his sheet of butcher paper in red Sharpie. He’ll be posting about you and Mall Man until he falls into the volcano.
Bill! I thought it was room service.
My drummer buddy has a PhD in neurobiology and is a math whiz.
Yeah, but can he do that trick where it totally looks like you’re taking half your thumb off and putting it back on?
PWNED
As if it bothers me. I didn’t think Mall Guy was mentally disabled. I thought he was a self-entitled narcissistic Pre-Copernican asshole who thinks the whole world revolves around him and must have immediate gratification. (*) In other words the perfect exemplar for a Tea Party gumball throwing a hissy fit because he didn’t get his way. I laughed because it was funny. I found it hilarious and still do. I could give a shit if concern troll is concerned.
Guess I’m not so easy to guilt trip.
475. Keep on rockin’
Troll boy probably has choice comments tattooed all over his body like the protagonist of “Memento”.
“Fenwick, remember that time six years ago when you made a politically incorrect comment about a guy in a Toronto mall? Well, I do, therefore Social Security is evil!”
Political correctness another shifting goalpost.
I went on a Voynich Manuscript kick last year, and now I don’t remember much of what I learned. The topic opens up in so many fascinating directions!
Troll boy probably has choice comments tattooed all over his body like the protagonist of “Memento”.
He has those from Zython on the right leg, those from actor212 on his left arm, those from JennOfArk on the back of his left hand, etc.
All the hullabaloo about the Voynich Manuscript is inspiring me to look for a Serbian novel titled “Dictionary of the Khazars”. As Smuta noted, the VM figures in “The Face in the Frost”- one of my favorite books. It’s also a main plot point in Colin Wilson’s “Return of the Lloigor”, a horror novella.
I downloaded a PDF of the manuscript from Yale’s website/ it’s a trippy subject.
Yeah, but can he do that trick
She. And she can probably do that too. I haven’t seen anything she can’t do except maybe put up with stupid people.
You’ll get to meet her if you bring your gittar over here to the wet side.
You’ll get to meet her if you bring your gittar over here to the wet side.
Challenge accepted. Working on that.
Guess I’m not so easy to guilt trip.
Same here. it helps when the nymjacks disappear so quickly, down the old Tears in Rain-hole.
I wish it wasn’t so. Women are, as a rule, soooo much better to work with than men. None of that constant measuring of the e-penis that dudes do.
huh…you are the first male i’ve ever heard say this…i feel fortunate that the jobs i’ve had that were comprised of mostly females, i got along with all of them pretty well…the club girls are a whole nother kettle of fish…we really, really get along well, sometimes to our own detriment, but whaddya do, they’re like family…
also, i read b^4’s one comment upthread as dennis ‘nursing his sharts’ which i found appropriate…also, they wouldn’t let me take my cyst (margaret) home from surgery either…and my dad and i found out AFTER i had my wisdome teeth removed (under anesthesia) that the dentist was accused of being friendly with his patients while they were under…apparently nothign came of it because 20 years laterj, the son had his teeth removed by him…i told him to wear three pairs of undies and a tight belt just in case…okay, i’m taking more drugs now and going back to my sickbed…actually, maybe a super hot bath first…
Oh yeah, wisdom teeth. In my case I had local anasthesia only, which made it very wierd when the oral surgeon took the dentist equivalent to a jackhammer to my lower set to break them up so they’d be easier to pull.
okay, i’m taking more drugs now and going back to my sickbed…actually, maybe a super hot bath first…
Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?
Fenwick- Shartnado.
Drugs In My Sickbed. Obviously a goth band, eyeliner and Cure covers.
When Teh Ho had his dumbdumb teeth removed they said the shit wouldn’t knock him out completely. They tell me he’s ready to go home, I walk back to where he’s sitting in the chair. “Let’s go, taking you home.” He tries to focus and says, through his hugely swollen cheeks, in a barely decipherable slur, “No! Can’t go – they have to take my teeth out!” Too funny.
Fenwick said,
March 27, 2014 at 16:30
475. Keep on rockin’
Count again.
Trollcrap.
Obviously a goth band, eyeliner and Cure covers.
I strongly considered a Cure, Bauhaus, Joy Division type cover band. Then I realized nobody would want to hear it–at least not here in Spotucky.
tsam, you oughta do peppy bluegrass covers of Cure, Bauhaus, and Joy Division songs. Imagine the shenanigans when someone figures out the words!
No idea how you would convert “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” though.
Four wisdom teeth yanked under local anesthetic, then home for a couple hours and then off to play softball. I don’t see what the big deal is.
There is a centipede on the wall in front of me. I don’t care for centipedes. They have no pizzazz, compared to praying mantises. But I won’t do anything to disrupt his life.
I’m closing the Internet Cafe this weekend.It’s a tough decision because I know I was providing an essential service to the community but I just can’t do it anymore.
You remember the robbery with knife last year? Well, this year I have been broken into 6 times. Security gate, burglar bars – nothing deters them. And they always take : all the cash in the house, all the cigarettes, any meat in the fridge and my flashdrives containing CVs, documents etc. All while I am sleeping in my bed with the door open.
My nerves are shot. I can’t sleep for listening and every tiny sound has me leaping from my bed. I have given up trying to sleep at night and crash at 7am. Not conducive to running a business.
That’s horrible, sue boo. I bet it was the same perps every time and they ruined things for you and your customers.
I hate autocorrect!
No idea how you would convert “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” though.
Me either, but I know what I’m doing this weekend now!
No idea how you would convert “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” though.
I don’t think it matters how you do it. There’s no way you can go wrong – anything resulting from the exercise is guaranteed to be full of win.
I’ll do a mashup
Bela Lugosi is a Man of Constant Sorrow…
Tsam, you need to do a rockabilly version of “Nemesis” by Shriekback.
I’m so sorry, Suezboo.
The house centipedes we have around here are sorta whimsical looking, what with their long legs. I never bother them.
I’m sorry, too, Suezbo. It’s a cryin’ shame that the bastards so often ruin things for the good folk.
Suezboo, my sympathies.
When the Great Unpleasantness hit in 2008/2998, I started the process of closing my practice down; but there were no better options, since every other firm was laying people off right and left. So I went through the trauma of shutdown, then had to keep fighting.
Music and blogs and Imaginary Digital frenz kept me going. Find solace where you can.
It’s a cryin’ shame that the bastards so often ruin things for the good folk.
Again, that seems eerily relevant somehow.
Bela Lugosi is a Man of Constant Sorrow…
Doesn’t matter how that comes out, the title alone is enough.
In translucent black capes through all his days
Bela Lugosi’s a man of constant sorrow
Seen bats and bell towers all my days
Bled the victims in old Kentucky
The black box where I was born and raised
The black box where he was born and raised
Undead undead undead
The virginal brides file past my tomb
No pleasures here on earth I’ve found
In deathly bloom I’m doomed to ramble
No friends in this gloom to help me now
No friends in this gloom to help him now
Undead undead undead
Every time I see this my brain tries to make it “Bela Lugosi’s Still Dead.”
Along with Francisco Franco and Andrew Breitbart. But if they’re doing anything, they’re running in different circles.
Thread Bear said,
March 27, 2014 at 20:46
BRILLIANT
Does anyone remember the movie that featured Bauhaus performing Bela Lugosi’s dead–The Hunger? Catherine Deneuve. ROWR.
Had David Bowie too. Fun vampire movie with sexy business all around.
I’ll be expecting an autographed copy of the cd when you release it.
aka : I appreciate that. Thank you for understanding.
It also featured a naked Susan Sarandon, iirc…
Suezboo
So sorry to hear what you’re going through. Wish I could help.
It also featured a naked Susan Sarandon, iirc…
Not an easy thing to forget.
tsam, it’s a great date movie.
zrm : This is Solace Central for me. This uncouth bunch are my social circle.
We’re your barfly friends from overseas.
Barfy friends?
This is Solace Central for me.
Believe me, you’re far from the first.
It also featured a naked Susan Sarandon, iirc…
Not an easy thing to forget.
Do we all hate Tim Robbins or what?
Puttin’ the barf in barfly
Puttin’ the barf in barfly
And if I haver, hey I know I’m gonna be
I’m gonna be the man who’s havering to you
Suez, I’ll add to the chorus. Very sorry to hear that. Any idea what you will do next?
Tengrain describes someone awfully familiar…
Relevant quote:
And then Silver makes a chart of all the times Krugman has said anything about him over the lifespan of 538, and rates them.
I’m not kidding.
There was a kid in my grammar school who did this and weekly presented his evidence to the teacher that the other kids did not like him. I think at that point the teacher felt sorry for us that this little dweeb would be following us for life, tallying the number of outrageous slings and arrows fate shot at him to prove to us that we did not like him. We could have stone cold told him that and saved him the trouble.
I’m trippin’
writhin’ and squealin’, pukin’
lookin’ for someone like you
And I’m holdin’
something more precious than fine ore,
baby, I’m holdin’ you
WC : Sleep is high on the agenda. I’ll still have my PC and black-and-white printer, so the small business people who need me to type up quotes and invoices will still come round, I guess. As will the 93 year old guy who is writing his memoirs (in Afrikaans) so spellcheck is dead to me.
Oh, and the police when they want a statement translated into English.
And then Silver makes a chart of all the times Krugman has said anything about him over the lifespan of 538, and rates them.
“One rarely gets a chance to see such carefully planned sarcasm.”
The urge to troll Nate even more must be overwhelming.
Do we all hate Tim Robbins or what?
Not after seeing Jacob’s Ladder.
Not after seeing Jacob’s Ladder.
Pshaw. He laughed all the way home. Where Susan Sarandon was waiting. They did Dr. Frankenfurter and Janet roleplay all night.
If I was prepared to like Krugman for being a partisan hack, I’d want to agree with him about more stuff. But that’s not why I like him. He’s good at being Krugman, a tres formidable thing to be.
They did Dr. Frankenfurter and Janet roleplay all night.
HAHAHA!
Sue: You have only yourself to blame: You should have chosen to be born into an uber-rich family. Then you could draw on a ginormous trust fund to see you through. Maybe hike the rates for the PO-lease (*) for translations, or exact a quid pro quo. (Like, say, catching the burgler jerkwads and recovering your stuff.)
As you’ve seen from the chorus of good wishes and commiseration, all of Sadlyburg is rooting for you.
(*) Yank pronunciation in many parts of the United Snakes.
Do we all hate Tim Robbins or what?
Not me: Bull Durham. Shawshank Redemption. The Player. The Proxy. Bob Roberts. Also ‘hate’ is such a strong word.
Hudsucker Proxy.
Suezboo–I’m so sorry. I hate how a handful of assholes can ruin things for everyone.
Sorry to hear that Suezboo. Years ago my car was broken into, and what bothered me the 2nd most* was the sheer lack of ambition. Seriously, my car was a cheap Chevy Impala, and it was already pretty shabby at that point in its life. A mere mile and a half away was Maple Bluff, home of among other things, the governors mansion. Two miles the other way are a half dozen public parking garages full of expensive cars full of expensive stuff. Why and the hell didn’t they rob a freaking bank or steal actual expensive stuff from people who have it?
*What bothered me the most that instead of breaking the glass (an ordinary straightforward replacement), like they did in the other 3 cars in the parking garage, they forced my window down after denting my car roof and tearing the hell out of the weather seal.
Not after seeing Jacob’s Ladder.
That film disappointed me– there’s already at least one good, non-padded adaptation of An Occurrence At Owl Creek Bridge out there.
Thread Bear: Brilliant, sir. Absolutely brilliant.
bbkf: First Cerb, now you. Is there some nationwide Crud epidemic? (In the CDC sense, not in the political sense.) I hope you feel better pronto! Protip: Good pooches will keep your morale up. I think they sense when Their Peeples are ill.
About 50 comments have shown up since I last culled the thread for ZardozFest. (I left when the counter was 475 or thereabouts; the ticker now reads 532 (*) I gonna skim the news, set up some coffee, then search for hidden muscial talent.
(*) Cleaned of drool and spittle, too, so the count is real. As always, thanx to the vigilant and prompt volunteers!!!
Do we all hate Tim Robbins or what?
I may be the only one, but I really liked Hudsucker Proxy.
You aren’t–and Shawshank Redemption was a great movie too.
Cleaned of Drool and Spittle HAS to be in the BotB!
I have to confess, Clancy Brown is one of my all-time favorite actors. As much as I hate it, I almost end up rooting for him…
Yes, Fenwick, I lurk and only occassionally post. I like to come along after all the troll-spoor has been removed and wryly grin at the orphaned responses 🙂
Also, it occurs to me that there ought to be a law akin to godwin’s: every intetresting discussion of tolkien will, sooner-or-later. by someone asking; ”have you read flashman”, or worse “…tom sharpe”.
No. We haven’t! Go away!
grin at the orphaned responses 🙂
It IS fun, isn’t it? The voluntary sanitation experts flush the drool so rapidly and efficiently that I rarely see the drool part of the conversation. It’s fun to imagine it from the clues (*) the first-responders leave in the Comments. Also check out the clever nym-changes (**) they use during clean-up operations. It’s a hoot and a half !
(*) sometimes including hilarious excerpts from the drooler.
(**) which is muy different from nym-jacking. Only a rude jerk would repeatedly violate such a basic rule of internet civility.
every intetresting discussion of tolkien will, sooner-or-later [include] someone asking; ”have you read [this or that fantasy novel or series].
Agree! It’s almost inevitable: But it doesn’t bother me much; I take the questions as the person’s enthusiasm for books s/he has enjoyed. Which is a good thing, imo. Also I’ve got a simple answer to such questions:
No. We haven’t! Go away!
(((‘cept I usually bottle-up the last injunction…unless the person is particularly disagreeable or snooty. I enjoy conversation–intertoobs or meatspace–so I want the other participant(s) to stick around ! )))
The answer is reliable because I’m so poorly read in fantasy or SF. Indeed, I’m not widely read in almost any fiction genre. I often felt dull and stoopit in grad school when other writers would discuss great writers and great novels that I hadn’t read.
Which is certainly odd, in light of my occupation.
I don’t even know who Tim Robbins is but I’ll send Suezboo best wishes and strawberries (yeah it’s that season here).
I think I saw The Hunger back in the day but there’s no trace of a hint of a trace of a shadow of a memory of it. It must have been a date.
Tsam & the Major: I’ve liked every Tim Robbins movie I’ve seen. Also he has good range as an actor, imo.
——————-
I’m going to ketchup Stewart and Colbert–missed Mon, Tues, Wed shows–while munching microwave pizza. Also have two l-o-n-g phone conversations with two good friends in Baltimore ESTand Kansas CST. So may not get to name culling for several hours. In the meantime, you peeples will probably generate text chock full of possibilities.
Adios for now.
BBBB — reminder to turn your name blue again.
Fenwick: (the) Mekons.
Christie throws Bridget Anne Kelly under the bus in the most insulting way possible.
Please please please fight back, Ms. Kelly.
(After 500+ comments, I don’t apologize for going OT)
FWIW, my favorite Robbins performance is “The Player.” His portrayal of an amoral doofus who bumbles his way into a murder was just note-perfect. It almost made you buy Lyle Lovett as a cop. But I like Robbins in many other things too.
Also, it occurs to me that there ought to be a law akin to godwin’s: every intetresting discussion of tolkien will, sooner-or-later. by someone asking; ”have you read flashman”, or worse “…tom sharpe”.
Not I, it makes me ask “have you read The Face in the Frost or The Broken Sword?
John Bellairs had this to say about his novel: “The Face in the Frost was an attempt to write in the Tolkien manner. I was much taken by The Lord of the Rings and wanted to do a modest work on those lines. In reading the latter book I was struck by the fact that Gandalf was not much of a person—just a good guy. So I gave Prospero, my wizard, most of my phobias and crotchets. It was simply meant as entertainment and any profundity will have to be read in.”
I think what is really needed is the Lovecraft/Tolkien mashup that the good professor hinted at in LotR: “We fought far under living earth, where time is not counted. Ever he clutched me, and ever I hewed him, till at last he fled into dark tunnels. They were not made by Durin’s folk, Gimli son of Gloin. Far, far below the deepest delvings of the Dwarves, the world is gnawed by nameless things. Even Sauron knows them not. They are older than he. Now I have walked there, but I will bring to report to darken the light of day…”
BBBB — reminder to turn your name blue again.
I was posting from my phone… I don’t have the links set up like I do on my laptop. I had to run quite a few errands this afternoon.
Scribe: I too oved his performance in The Player. Buck Henry (!) Robert Altman (!) What’s not to like? My favorite is Bull Durham; I am a baseball junkie.
the Lovecraft/Tolkien mashup that the good professor hinted at in LotR
That never occured to me. I was alway curious about that passage. You’ve given me something to cogitate on, old chum.
Goddamnit, you two, when Gandalf all but says something’s ineffable, leave well enough alone, will you?
Goddamnit, you two, when Gandalf all but says something’s ineffable, leave well enough alone, will you?
No way, man… how else are we supposed to insert Tolkien’s fiction into the “Weird Tales” canon chronology? I’m thinking CAS’ “Hyperborea”, then “Middle Earth”, then REH’s “Valusia” leading to “Hyboria”. All along, the Lovecraftian Elder Horrors would be popping up when the stars are right to trouble pack ponies and incarnate Maiar.
Gandalf vs Cthulhu- you know you want it!
Goddamnit, you two, when Gandalf all but says something’s ineffable, leave well enough alone, will you?
Damn, the clever response would have been, “We’re effin’ with the ineffable!”
Here’s an interesting parallel…
JRRT in LotR:
“Something has crept or been driven out of the dark water under the mountains. There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world.”
REH in The Black Stone
:
“They say foul things of Old Times still lurk
In dark forgotten corners of the world.
And Gates still gape to loose, on certain nights.
Shapes pent in Hell.”
Gandalf vs Cthulhu- you know you want it!
I’m holding out for a Lovecraft / Rider Haggard mash-up: Allan Quartermain goes big-game hunting for Elder Ones.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/21542477@N08/13460938284/sizes/m/
Gandalf vs Cthulhu- you know you want it!
Gandalf/Cthulhu- you know you want that even more!
I’m holding out for a Lovecraft / Rider Haggard mash-up: Allan Quartermain goes big-game hunting for Elder Ones.
How about a She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed/Joseph Curwen necromantic teamup?
Hmm. that’s all so dark. How bout a P.G. Wodehouse-H.P. Lovecraft mashup instead?
Dammit. Now that it’s in my head I keep thinking that there are a lot of works that could use a little Cthulhu style pizzazz as a literary pick-me-up. So far I’ve got:
Marcel Proust’s “In Search of Lost Time”, Evelyn Waugh’s “Brideshead Revisited”, Harper Lee’s “To Kill a Mockingbird”, Herman Melville’s “Moby Dick”, Margaret Mitchell’s “Gone with the Wind” and really, too many more to list.
i like where helmut is going with this…also, i don’t think there is a jar big enough to hold chris christie’s balls…what a fucking pig…
Whatley and Jeeves?
Jeeves and Wooster meet up with Uncle Dynamite and an old school chum on a package tour of the plains of Leng…
I keep thinking that there are a lot of works that could use a little Cthulhu style pizzazz
Huckleberry Finn, Great Expectations and Hunt for the Red October.
How about a Poe/ Wind in the Willows mashup? The Fall of the House of Toad? Actually, that’s not too different from the real WitW.
Huckleberry’s Fin- Huck’s mom is one of Captain Obed Marsh’s daughters.
The missing civil war Flashman novel could be written by Tim Powers. We could have Fraser’s trademark Flashman historical violence and seduction and greed and cowardice, plus Tim Power’s complicated and deadly magic to explain the quirks and coincidences of wartime as part of some deadly supernatural scheme.
http://www.neilgaiman.com/p/Cool_Stuff/Short_Stories/I_Cthulhu
and Hunt for the Red October
Hey, Ryan, be careful what you shoot at. Most things in here don’t react too well to
bulletsdark magic.I would like to see Nemo Vs. The Deep Ones.
Nemo from 20,000 Leagues under the sea or Nemo from Finding Nemo?
The original Nemo, not a clown fish.
Dammit. Now that it’s in my head I keep thinking that there are a lot of works that could use a little Cthulhu
Goodnight Moon.
ZardozFest ! This weekend is gonna be great! And it’s FREE !
Oh So Shiny
Party Gumball
Shifting Goalpost
Manuscript Kick
Cyst Margaret
Drugs in My Sickbed
Centipede on the Wall
Same Perps
Full of Win
Deathly Bloom
Fun Vampire
Naked Susan
Fine Ore
Frankenfurter & Janet
Proxy Bob
Jeezie Peezie: Zardoz is past 571 !! Drive past 600, you crazy diamonds in cyberspace !
Fenwick is like an analog JanusNode for band names.
I didn’t see the Mekons in that list, fella.
Goodnight Moon.
The Very Hungry Old One
Where the Wild, Terrible Unnamed Things Are
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Oh God What Is That
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Oh God What Is That
+1 Colour Out Of Space
Where the Wild Things Are is halfway to HPL territory anyway.
We had a pop-up version of it when Young Zombie was little, and we never read it because it scared him.
If you give a shoggoth a cookie
I have a little night gaunt
that goes in and out with me
What can be the use of him
is more than I can see
Very, very black, from the heels
to the faceless head.
And I see him jump before me
When I jump into my bed.
Goodnight Moon.
and the kids never slept again…
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Oh God What Is That
now i know what herbal tea out the nose feels like…thanks!
We had a pop-up version of it when Young Zombie was little, and we never read it because it scared him.
oh jaysus…even as young adults my kids don’t want to watch the film version…
I can definitely see Huck and Jim accidentally rafting into trouble with an isolated community of southern-fried, fish-gened Cthulhu cultists.
Huck, honey, get back on the goddamned raft.
Did Jim call huck “honey?” I don’t remember that.
Did Jim call huck “honey?” I don’t remember that.
It’s probably slashfic.
Interesting to see where a Sadly thread goes when there is an interval between new posts.
It’s a take-off on the title of a famous essay by the cultural critic Leslie Fielder, which was for the time it was written in postulated a very revisionist view of the relationship between Huck and Jim.
“Come Back to the Raft Ag’in, Huck Honey!”
Interesting to see where a Sadly thread goes when there is an interval between new posts.
if you’re really lucky, it may devolve into puns! although cthulhu puns would be well worth the usual groaning pains of a pun thread…
if you’re really lucky, it may devolve into puns!
It better not.
Puns are for huns.
Memes, however, are for grownups.
Submitted for your approval: A Facebook thread, one that belies the very idea of rational debate…A shitfest, if you will. You’re about embark on a journey, one of sight and written word, into the HighMighty Zone.
DEMANDS FORINERS LERN ENGLISH OR GFTO
CAN’T READ OR WRITE ENGLISH.
Since this sucky comment system won’t allow me to put pictures in, you’ll have to imagine the mullet and “Get a brian, morans” poster.
DEMANDS FORINERS LERN ENGLISH OR GFTO
CAN’T READ OR WRITE ENGLISH.
you are kidding with this one, right? or it’s a poe…right? c’mon, i just got off my deathbed…!
No, some dick actually said a longer and less intelligible version of that. His friends are using him for a chew toy. It’s kind of funny, but also very sad because the poor bastard is dumb enough to warrant pity rather than anger. Camo, scruffy beard, gun fetish, hates Obama but is totally not racist….
If you can’t pray the gay away, beat it out of them.
Pup, I can’t understand anything about that tragedy. I can’t understand how or why anyone could beat a four year old child to death. I want to call the killers inhuman monsters, but they aren’t. They are just as human as you and me, and I don’t understand how anyone human could choose to commit that crime.
So I noticed that the lawyer hired by Christie indicates that Kelly and Stepien had a personal relationship that ended, and that Kelly was “emotional” when she allegedly made the decision to close that bridge.
So they throw in some sex, a hysterical female, throw everyone under the bus, all in a tidy report done by a lawyer that was paid by the GUV himself.
Sounds legit.
Nemo from 20,000 Leagues under the sea or Nemo from Finding Nemo?
Why choose? Now that’s a teamup I want to see.
Whoa… Nemo/Nemo slash… Throw in lil Nemo from slumberland and you’ve hot Nemo/Nemo/Nemo, which is the craziest WW2 movie ever.
If you can’t pray the gay away, beat it out of them.
What the fuck I don’t even
Perceived homosexuality in a FOUR YEAR OLD?
Add whoever casting directors are casting when the script calls for Clint Eastwood and remake “Where Eagles Dare”
Hate is a poison that destroys minds. How else would you explain the murder of a toddler?
Pup, I can’t understand anything about that tragedy. I can’t understand how or why anyone could beat a four year old child to death. I want to call the killers inhuman monsters, but they aren’t. They are just as human as you and me, and I don’t understand how anyone human could choose to commit that crime.
me either…it makes me sick…this woman should never have been allowed to reproduce…
Where clownfish dare.
HAHAHAHAHAHA They’re so st00pid.
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/03/27/arizona-vice-mayor-praises-fred-phelps-on-facebook-with-link-to-satirical-onion-obituary/
If you can’t pray the gay away, beat it out of them.
Oh dear.
HAHAHAHAHAHA They’re so st00pid.
wow. what a dipshit…and he really believes a male staffer at a d.c. health club took a picture of him in the shower? yeah, um…pics or it didn’t happen, dude…he claims to be still reeling from the alleged shower pic incident, but i bet would have no qualms whatsover about telling a woman to ‘get over’ being raped…
and he really believes a male staffer at a d.c. health club took a picture of him in the shower?
Sounds like over-compensation to me. And what person doesn’t realize that the Onion is a JOKE newspaper? I mean, they’ve only been doing it for twenty five years now.
beat it out of them.
Wow. I know I’m suoopsed to be all hippie-dippy and nonviolent and shit but this is a case that really stresses my convictions.
Supposed*
And what person doesn’t realize that the Onion is a JOKE newspaper? I mean, they’ve only been doing it for twenty five years now.
and he admits to not knowing who phelps was…but praised him anyways…
ZardozFest
Wow! With these registrations, 102 bands have now committed to the Festival.
Bridge Out
Crud Epidemic
Cleaned of Drool
Orphaned Responses
Last Injunction
Wishes & Strawberries
Ketchup Stew
Munching Microwave
Phobias & Crotchets
Nameless Things
Trouble Pack
Necromantic Team
Mockingbird Herman
House of Toad
Clown Fish
Nemo Nemo Nemo
No Qualms
Zombie: Thanx for the JanusNode comparison! Alas, Mekons are a meatspace group. Only imaginary bands can play in an imaginary festival. Sorry, but dems da Roolz…
(((Reminder to self: culled to this Comment)))
Alas, Mekons are a meatspace group.
Prove it.
Considering how rarely they perform, they might as well be imaginary.
Herman Melville’s “Moby Dick”
IIRC, that was recently dibsed (in an Alicublog thread) for the Melville / E.R.Eddison mash-up “Mobius Dick”, a.k.a. The Whale Ororborus.
It’s a take-off on the title of a famous essay by the cultural critic Leslie Fielder, which was for the time it was written in postulated a very revisionist view of the relationship between Huck and Jim.
OIC — interesting.
The Whale Ororborus
If you went with a killer whale it could be the Orcaborus.
Also too and moreover: Loud applause in Albuquerque for the splendid work of the volunteer Public Works crew. I haven’t seen ANY crapola today. Tanks for the rapid response, y’all.
——————-
BBBB: I thought about writing an extensive comment on the Bell quotation (28 Mar 3:41), particularly the sentence about Gandalf. Then I ran into CRA’s adviso:
Goddamnit, you two, when Gandalf all but says something’s ineffable, leave well enough alone, will you?
Herman Melville’s “Moby Dick”
cashing in on the ‘prequel’ and teenage angst…’moby dick: dorca…the early years’
D’Orca, you mean, right?
cashing in on the ‘prequel’ and teenage angst
Sparkly whales? Pass.
Sparkly whales? Pass.
what about as written by coach urban? dorcus malorcus?
Not our doing. Apparently, when Dennis tells Suezboo he’ll not be posting for a couple of days in sympathy, he means it.
I probably shared this with all of you before, but there is a vehicle near my business that I see frequently with a bumper sticker and I am not making this up that says:
REAL VAMPIRES DON’T SPARKLE
I’m not able to figure out if it’s trying to be funny or if there is genuine outrage over the Twilight portrayal of whiny emo douche vampire that always looks like he’s about to cry and sparkles in the sun instead of bursting into flames like real vampyrs do…
Hmm. that’s all so dark. How bout a P.G. Wodehouse-H.P. Lovecraft mashup instead?
Been done. Also.
As for “real vampires don’t sparkle”, it’s probably a mix of humor and disdain for Twilight.
But not all vampires burst into flames in the sun. Heck, Dracula strolls around London in broad daylight in the novel. I think the movies may be to blame for that one, so we could have cool FX money shots.
Where the Deep Ones Are.
As for “real vampires don’t sparkle”, it’s probably a mix of humor and disdain for Twilight.
I figured as much, but then I’ve been personally acquainted with a few bat-caver types that I’m convinced believe vampires do exist or did exist at one time. They truly believed in ghosts, so…I try to never assume that people don’t believe in some sort of fairy tale type story.
Where the Deep Ones Are.
That description also contains a lamentable lack of bacon accordion.
For Sadlies who follow our Surveillance State.
FDL: Dissecting Obama’s (*) Proposed NSA Reforms. Well-organized and informative critique. Sub-heads: Starting with a Question … The Reforms Proposed … What’s Missing.
FDL: UN Human Rights Committee issues a report on conditions in the United States. We’re Exceptional, All Right Yaaaaz !
(*) The signs were already there in the 2008 campaign. Remember his hypocrisy and betrayal in the Senate on the so-called FISA ‘reform’ legislation?
(((Fwiw, Bernie spoke with urgency and passion against the so-called ‘reforms’, and voted against it. That’s when I decided he was my 2008 write-in for President. In 2012, Bernie got my write-in vote, as well. I will write-in Bernie in 2016, too. That will become the first time I’ve ever voted for the same person in THREE successive presidential elections, surpassing Eugene McCarthy’s two.)))
623 You people are a-m-a-z-i-n-g !
or if there is genuine outrage over
i’m rooting for genuine outrage…how fun!
Analog JanusNode processing example:
a-m-a-z-i-n-g
The Roolz say that punctuation can be manipulated however you like. Thus:
ama-zing
The Roolz permit clipping off the first and/or last letter. Thus:
ma-zing
Manipulate puctuation again, removing hyphen
ma zing
Capitalize to taste, and voila …
Ma Zing
Also the Roolz say you can clip off the first and/or final letter of
I will write-in Bernie in 2016, too.
that is not very lock-steppy of you…did you NOT get the memo on who we are ALL voting for?!
I can’t understand how or why anyone could beat a four year old child to death.
I can’t even click on the link, after reading the reactions of other people here.
I can’t even click on the link, after reading the reactions of other people here.
that’s a wise decision…anger, incomprehension and depressive thoughts are all that lurk behind it…
did you NOT get the memo on who we are ALL voting for?
Oh great. Thanks a lot. Now you’ve exposed up my clever disinformation campaign to fool the creature. Of course I got the memo! Sheeesh.
Oh great. Thanks a lot. Now you’ve exposed up my clever disinformation campaign to fool the creature. Of course I got the memo! Sheeesh.
oh…my bad…
i decided i’m on the vote for cthlulu campaign, because really, why settle for voting for the lesser evil…?
i’m rooting for genuine outrage…how fun!
Yes, but only from a safe distance.
I thought I heard Bernie was going to run. I think he said “prepared”…
Not going to matter–the Dems are going to smash his testes.
Also, are you feeling better today? Has The Crud diminished some?
decided i’m on the vote for cthlulu campaign, because really, why settle for voting for the lesser evil…?
Laughter in Albuquerque !
Also, are you feeling better today? Has The Crud diminished some?
yeah…i didn’t/don’t actually have the crud, thank goodness…i was experiencing a fibro flare-up from hell…still residual today, but functioning for the most part…
Was not expecting this. Americans View Gay People More Favorably Than Evangelical Christians.
The times they are a changin.
The times they are a changin.
Ah yeah. That’s how you start a weekend!
Was not expecting this. Americans View Gay People More Favorably Than Evangelical Christians.
ain’t that a bag of tits?! it’s going to be a good weekend…we are going away!!! also, too…the son got a promise ring! i get to go to paradise with hubbkf this weekend!!!
also, too…that is NOT a euphemism, although we’re celebrating our 29th anniversary, so i’m keeping my fingers crossed and my legs shaved just in case…
the Dems are going to smash his testes.
Well, duh!.
Truthfully, tell me you wouldn’t like to see Bernie in televised national debates. He’s an excellent improvisational speaker. Remember his epic solo multi-hour filibuster?
At any rate, Bernie damn sure would challenge the Wall Street chum and neo-liberal interventionist the Democrats are likely to nominate … and whatever Looney Tunes Wack-a-Doodle-Doo the Republicans nominate. I’d love to see liberal / progressive issues and policies forcefully injected into the national discussion by a passionate and articulate progressive champion. Wouldn’t that be terrific, to see something MORE than shallow sloganeering–you know what I’m talkin’ about–and mealy-mouth hedges and verbal loopholes for walking it back later?
Of course, both wings of the Corporate Party will do everything in their power to keep him off the stage. But that might be more difficult than usual, with a sitting two-term Senator, elected as an Independent.
Also FYI: Bernie Sanders is NOT Ralph Nader
Sheesh. I dint mean to be so abrasive and argumentative, tsam, especially this far out from 2016. Sorry for the harsh.
I think I’m going to smoke some (*), set-up some java and watch Dr. Strangelove as a reward for hours of culling. I’m AMPED !!
Q: How ancient is Fenwick?
A: He first watched Dr Strangelove in HS … while parked at a drive-in movie (!)
(*) Marijuana helps me. I consider to be a fourth medication to supplement the three prescribed ones. I must get my patootie in gear and get a NM medical prescription & ID card!
This is 642.
bbkf and hubbkf: Congratulations! Have a wonderful time together!
Also FYI: Bernie Sanders is NOT Ralph Nader
Yes, I’m fully aware of that. Nader was real American hero in his consumer protection days. Kind of a creepy dweeb in his political days. He has also made some offhand remarks (something about “gonad politics” springs to mind) that really turned me off.
Here’s the deal–the man or woman I’ve been waiting for: I want someone to challenge the national paradigms about all this self sufficiency crap. I want someone to TRULY call the right wingers out on their bullshit hypocrisy (cut the deficit, cut taxes at the same time, etc..). I want liberal ideas about the critical nature of education, living wages and health care to be presented as what they really are–a matter of national fucking security. It’s not complicated. Fostering a healthy and educated population with a vibrant middle class is the ONLY way to sustain this type of representative republic.
I’m not sure Sanders fits this bill–he tends to handle it the way we do–telling insane people that they’re insane, but that’s not how politics works. You have to make people believe that the right idea is THEIR idea. You have to sell the “American Dream” in a way that shows people that when the middle class thrives, the entire nation thrives. Hilary Clinton can’t do that. Joe Biden is a great guy, but the “crazy uncle Joe” moniker kind of works for him. I’m not sure who else is out there, but with all the advances we’ve made on marriage equality and weed normalization, a liberal has a real fighting chance, I think. I hope.
because really, why settle for voting for the lesser evil…?
Don’t worry. I am sure the Republicans will run a fully serviceable Evil.
Also FYI: Bernie Sanders is NOT Ralph Nader
Yeah. Bernie has actually been ELECTED to something.
I want someone to challenge the national paradigms about all this self sufficiency crap. I want someone to TRULY call the right wingers out on their bullshit hypocrisy (cut the deficit, cut taxes at the same time, etc..).
Yeah. I don’t think that is a politician, though.
Kennedy did it, and he was a right bastard.
so i’m keeping my fingers crossed and my legs shaved just in case…
Now, THAT’S romance…
ZOMG. She was trolling me the entire time! I opened my anniversary present a few minutes ago and it was a jackalope – no fucking kidding. It had been sitting wrapped up for days before I started ranting about putting antlers on Immanuel Kant. LOL!!!
I’m still going to get me a bust of Kant to antler up at some point, but the only reason she was being so negs about it all was to not ruin the surprise.
Are you going to name it Immanuel?
Immanuel Kantelope, to be perfectly clear.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
March 29, 2014 at 2:39
I was wrong. Now THAT’S romance.
Rare footage of Dennis found — drop everything, people, he has concerns that need addressing.
Dennis is Rob Ford?
Immanuel Kantelope
Rhymes with “Penelope”, right?
I think I’m going to smoke some (*), set-up some java and watch Dr. Strangelove as a reward for hours of culling.
Good choice.
I am skipping dinner and going directly to the beer. Right after I finish my timesheets.
I figured as much, but then I’ve been personally acquainted with a few bat-caver types that I’m convinced believe vampires do exist or did exist at one time. They truly believed in ghosts, so…I try to never assume that people don’t believe in some sort of fairy tale type story.
Every so often, I get an inquiry from some “paranormal investigators” about doing an “investigation” on one of our sites. I always tell them that our organization frowns on such things.
There was one duo, though, that I actually gave a short interview to (with the proviso that I was just speaking as a “loudmouth know-it-all local” not to be identified as an employee), making damn sure that I did not believe in the paranormal (sorry guys, I just watched too much “Scooby Doo” as a kid). The reason why I took a liking to these guys is because one of them was a big fan of the Leatherman and was pitching a show to one of the cable networks about him. I’ve been to the Leatherman’s cave in Pound Ridge, NY numerous times, and I still get goosebumps seeing the smoke-blackened stone which testifies to the fact that this guy spent many nights there.
Was not expecting this. Americans View Gay People More Favorably Than Evangelical Christians.
The times they are a changin.
Unlike gay people, evangelical christians “thrust their lifestyle down the throats” of others and try to recruit children, usually in particularly obnoxious fashion.
New post. Finally.
ZardozFest !
116 bands got their applications in before the deadline. Here are last-minute additions to the festival lineup:
Prove It
Whale Ororborus
Teenage Angst
Sparkles in the Sun
Burst into Flames
Money Shots
Ma Zing
Fool the Creature
Got the Memo
Vote for Cthlulu
Up From Hell
Drive-In Movie
Patootie in Gear
Crazy Uncle
Antlers on Immanuel
Rhymes with Penelope
Too Much Scooby
————————-
This is 661.
It sure was fun !
I’m a poet.
I know it.
My feet show it.
They’re longfellows.
(apologies to Dylan)