Victim of Changes

Do you even understand what a surrender would mean? #learnhowtometaphor

Ross Douchehat, The Motherfucking New York Times™:
The Terms of Our Surrender

Getting older is often presented as a universally terrible thing by society. And there’s certainly arguments to be made in that direction. The cold march of entropy, the loss of faculties one has grown accustomed to, the weakening of muscles and immune systems.

But there’s also a number of benefits as well. A greater and greater awareness of one’s own self, a lifetime of meaningful connections and knowledge, a personal connection to historical context.

But superior to them all must be the moment when a bit of activism you have been fighting for years for finally pays off. The moment when that mad crusade of filthy hippie commie liberalism becomes that thing that everyone agrees is sensibly moderate and all the mushy centrists so scared to support human rights cough and shuffle over to the right side of history.

My Bob, no one ever told me it would feel so utterly amazing.

You see, me and my partner have been in the trenches of the gay marriage battle for years. So many years that when we first started phone banking and pounding the pavement, we had no awareness that we would ever personally benefit from the institution.

Hell, gay marriage is something I’ve argued for since the days I was a wee little pup. The moment I first heard it was an issue, I couldn’t possibly understand how anyone could be against it or how anyone could delude themselves that any negative response to it wasn’t rooted in either religious delusion or personal animosity.

Since long before I was aware that I was an asexual or a transsexual or a feminist. Back when I thought I would end up a straight boy like I was “supposed to”. I’ve been fighting most of my life, even if it was just in the form of yelling at conservative acquaintances or being a little viper in the forums.

So yeah, arriving at the moment where the 50% has been crossed and all of dominant culture is quickly shuffling the props and pretending that it’s always been okay to be takei, I mean gay, is one of those things that just makes one want to take a victory lap.

I feel I should be donning a tattered bath robe, smoking a fat stogie, leaning over a balcony with the smuggest git smile of my life saying “you’re welcome” to the universe.

And I don’t want to suggest from that that I think I alone caused the shift to happen. In reality I was only a tiny piece amongst a million tiny pieces, doing our little part at what might as well have been the last lap to jump that last little clearance, but nonetheless it feels amazing to have been fringe, to be that idiot in the crowd, pushing against an impossibility, a free radical, easily dismissed, fighting for something it seemed only you and a few others could see the rightness of, finally become the no duh you knew it would be.

It’s such a surreal and amazing feeling I don’t know how to explain it, other than to note just how much it energizes one for the fights left to battle, one’s I may never see that glorious moment of.

Nearly Verbatim Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

  • You bigots (we) don’t get to negotiate anymore.

Of course, that feeling is only for those of us who actually try and improve the world for the better, struggling for those marginalized and trying to make this a better place to live.

For the unfortunate wretches, clinging to the timestream like it was the last rock before the waterfall, desperately trying to prevent the inevitable march of time so they never have to question the world they were presented when they were spoiled little 8 year olds receiving every gift on their Christmas wish list, this moment is one of horror.

The world as it was supposed to be, as was promised to them in the form of easy money and social approval for hating on a powerless minority, has completely abandoned them. People who used to nod sagely as they quoted some Leviticus or mumbled some stupidity about civil unions are now looking at them as something akin to a KKK member. Those who are lesser are no longer frightened to be themselves and are regularly on the TV box and movie screens as if they were real people in society.

Sure, in short order, their confusion will turn to exploitation and they’ll adjust and we’ll get the deluge of attempts to co-opt the legacy and rewrite it to support the same old bigotries (cough cough Dallas Buyers Club) and argue that it was in fact them who fought for gay marriage (which is really about not paying taxes) against evil people like Harvey Milk and Del Martin and I’ll be back to the ranting spitting rage I’m used to feeling.

But in this moment, I’m probably as close as I’ll ever get to orgasm over this wonderful wonderful Schadenfreude.

IT now seems certain that before too many years elapse, the Supreme Court will be forced to acknowledge the logic of its own jurisprudence on same-sex marriage and redefine marriage to include gay couples in all 50 states.

Once this happens, the national debate essentially will be finished,

And if I’m going to be enjoying the soft bitter tears of a bigot growing painfully aware of how late to the party he really is, there simply is no better source than ol’ Douchey of the Hats at everyone’s favorite once respectable punching bag.

I mean, Douchehat’s entire career has seemed to have consisted of whining paeans to golden ages of bigotry gone by. He was largely late to the Anti-Woman Revivalism, decades behind the war against condoms (a wee bit late after the trauma of the plague years, good buddy), and definitely in the cold dark moments of the professional homophobe gloryhole years.

And it just helps so fucking much that Douchehat seems slightly more self-aware than the usual rotting zombies that make up the professional conservative pundit circuit and thus seems to fully appreciate how much he really is the guy holding the ball at the end of a game of Hot Potato.

Hell, he’s perfected the art of bemoaning and lamenting his chosen position before he has even fully lost. For someone seeking schadenfreude, he might as well be a greedy sub bottom begging for the whip.

but the country will remain divided, with a substantial minority of Americans, most of them religious, still committed to the older view of marriage.

Indeed.

A minority of bigots always lingers on like a turd stubbornly clinging to the ass hairs of society, ranting about “back in my day” and holding on hope that the pesky minorities will somehow magically disappear if they wish hard enough. I mean, hell, we’ve had a prolonged meltdown from the right in this country because they’ve had to deal with the fact that a black president probably means the days of legalized plantation slavery will never again fulfill their erotic fantasies.

But the difference, the meaningful difference, is that that mass of vipers and bigots are nearly out of their power to matter on a national stage. The years of other people having to suffer the abrogation of their rights because some pack of deliberately ignorant shitheads want to feel smugly superior and can wave a misinterpretation of a book around stop. And the guys ranting on the street corner become just that, no longer gaining societal benefit for hating the right people or winning a genetic lottery.

So what then?

Well, as the rest of your post will spell out, the what then is that you fade off into the background, another Anita Bryant that everyone politely tries to pretend never existed and you are forced to either move on to a more socially accepted form of hatred or learn how to cloud your animosity in coded phrases that test better with the general public.

So… really, nothing really new for your lot.

That’s the shame about minority groups belatedly gaining their human rights, it doesn’t actually affect the bigots at all. Almost like their claims of being personally threatened by other people’s rights was a steaming pile of triceratops dung.

One possibility is that this division will recede into the cultural background, with marriage joining the long list of topics on which Americans disagree without making a political issue out of it.

Yeah, much like the humanity of the Irish or the ability of interracial couples to marry, yes, I imagine gay marriage will indeed become one of those things that old bigots still mumble about at the Thanksgiving table while everyone else sort of shifts their eyes and politely tries and shift the conversation to which cousin has filled the biological function of breeding a new generation.

In this scenario, religious conservatives would essentially be left to promote their view of wedlock within their own institutions,

THE HORROR!

Can you imagine? I mean, religions, actual religions being forced, reduced and emasculated, down to promoting their religious worldviews only within their own religious circles instead of trying to force everyone and anyone to follow their sectarian “principles”?

The raw anarchy that would represent if religious “viewpoints” were something constrained to the churches instead of being written into law so that less dominant religions could be reminded of their lack of religious liberty.

That would be the utter worst!

as a kind of dissenting subculture emphasizing gender differences and procreation,

Yeah, I bet your churches are totally going to continue selling the whole “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” thing once it’s no longer financially viable and have to suffer becoming increasingly culturally and politically irrelevant to “defend their totally firm and inflexible beliefs”. In the same way as the Megachurches totally held firm on segregation or slavery once those came with actual social consequences for openly celebrating.

Nah, I give it less than a decade before a Megachurch starts openly trying to sell themselves as gay friendly while demonizing whatever minority group is next on the chopping block (trans* people?).

Hell, that’s currently the big battle happening now in the conservative hive mind as the few sensible neurons are trying to switch to a pro-gay stance while the ranting “subculture” tries to drag everything irreversibly into the land of ever-shrinking relevance.

while the wider culture declares that love and commitment are enough to make a marriage.

Bah, love and commitment, whoever could think that rubbish could be enough to sustain a marriage.

Real patriots understand that a marriage isn’t fully a fulfillment of sitcom cliches unless it is stifled and made joyless by oppressive gender norms and limits on sexual freedom designed to make both partners view each other as enemies rather than comrades.

And where conflicts arise — in a case where, say, a Mormon caterer or a Catholic photographer objected to working at a same-sex wedding —

Hey, a little advice, dipshits? You will never, not in a million years, be able to sell your neo-segregationist bullshit as equivalent to braving the firehoses in Birmingham or battling cops on the outside of Stonewall.

No one’s going to look at “oh hey, a bigot tried to segregate their clients because they are a fossil and got critiqued by the people they tried to discriminate against, that’s the worst”. Or at least no one who isn’t already fully committed to the false martyrdom industry of the religious right.

It’s not the magic pill that will bring back Sodomy Laws. It’s just not.

gay rights supporters would heed the advice of gay marriage’s intellectual progenitor, Andrew Sullivan,

Oh hell to the fuck no, was Andrew Sullivan the intellectual progenitor of jackshit.

Fuck, cowardly little Quisling couldn’t even be counted on to support gay marriage at the time of the fucking battle, choosing to eel away to civil unions at any point it looked like things could negatively impact him. Hell, he only eventually turned to almost supporting it because he was worried it would be the only way to continue working in the United States.

So nice try, dickwaffle.

Also, thanks for the glimpse of what the next dozen years will look like in the form of right-wing revisions of “what really happened” in order to support whatever self-serving bullshit they want to sell next.

and let the dissenters opt out “in the name of their freedom — and ours.”

A segregationist supported other segregationists?

Excuse me while I muster up enough fake surprise.

But there’s another possibility, in which the oft-invoked analogy between opposition to gay marriage and support for segregation in the 1960s South is pushed to its logical public-policy conclusion. In this scenario, the unwilling photographer or caterer would be treated like the proprietor of a segregated lunch counter,

Because he would be.

Because that’s what happens when the panic of “eww, (insert the derogatory name of designated minority group here)” dries up and everyone has a good honest look at the practices that were allowed to sustain themselves in the hatred.

I’m sure there were just as many confused segregationists bemoaning the way that suddenly, all these perfectly natural justice-minded gatherings were being treated like murder just because they were stringing up some black boy from the tops of the trees, but it doesn’t change the reality of the actions.

Welcome to the world. Adapt or die. Those are the options.

and face fines or lose his business — which is the intent of recent legal actions against a wedding photographer in New Mexico, a florist in Washington State, and a baker in Colorado.

It’s worth noting in these “recent” cases that are trotted out whenever the professional brigade wants to pretend that their victim standing up and brushing off the dirt is equivalent to them having been the real victims of bullying, that these people are not losing their businesses because of the (spooky voice)~evil government~, but rather because of the all-sainted free market.

People who are being discriminated against by assholes going out of their way to refuse service to them instead of making up a politic excuse like “I’m afraid I’m busy that weekend” or just attaching themselves to a particular church or pastor so they never have to be challenged in any way are walking out and talking to people about what happened to them.

And people are deciding with their hard-earned money not to support the kind of asshole who goes out of their way to be a smug religious git.

And that’s what’s supposed to happen if you are an asshole to your clients in a competitive field like those surrounding wedding services. You lose your fucking business.

But these idjits want to pretend they are martyrs to principle if they completely fuck themselves over in a public way and make terrible business decisions as if being “christian” meant everyone else had a moral obligation to keep your shitty store in business by betraying their moral principles or right to financial choices.

And it’s even more eye-rollingly stupid when you drift yourself back in time and insert a theoretical queer-identified photographer or baker who decided to boycott doing straight weddings by having the same great business strategy of offering their service publicly and actively discriminating against any straight couple that walks in.

Hell, not even that, let’s just imagine a queer florist who simply refuses to do the wedding of people who actively try and restrict his rights to love and liberty. Someone infinitely more sympathetic than some dumb fuck who thinks that queers have cooties that rub off on batter. Do you think that theoretical 90s person wouldn’t be drummed out of the wedding circuit in a heartbeat and treated like a fucking joke by general society? Even if he only refused because the client assaulted him or dehumanized him publicly? Fuck no.

But hey, when has the reality of the free market ever stopped segregationists from trying to appeal to the mythical “free market” to try and support their right to discriminate.

Meanwhile, pressure would be brought to bear wherever the religious subculture brushed up against state power.

Well, yeah, you are free to believe whatever horseshit you want, but those freedoms halt in an instant the moment they would go against the laws of these United States.

I mean, I’m free to believe that everyone has tiny elves living in their heads responsible for all the world’s wrongs and that the only way to stop bad things from happen is to smash open people’s skulls with a sledgehammer.

But that right to believe that ends at the moment I start lowering someone’s head on the anvil and start preparing my swinging arm.

So what you are asking for is the right to break the law. As the losers of a protracted and painful cultural battle that hurt a lot of people for no good reason.

Good luck with that.

Religious-affiliated adoption agencies would be closed if they declined to place children with same-sex couples. (This has happened in Massachusetts and Illinois.)

Oh you mean the prominent Catholic Charities shut down by the Catholic Church after they were informed that by receiving state money they would have to follow state laws regarding the treatment of same-gendered couples? The ones which would have survived fine as a private religious institution and with members who were perfectly happy switching to the public rulings, but the Catholic Church wanted to manufacture a case where their “rights” had been “destroyed” by the “evil child-hating government”?

Yeah, I notice there’s no link on this one. Almost like even you realize that this moldy piece of bread is about as likely to fly as a lead-lined penguin.

Organizations and businesses that promoted the older definition of marriage would face constant procedural harassment, along the lines suggested by the mayors who battled with Chick-fil-A. And, eventually, religious schools and colleges would receive the same treatment as racist holdouts like Bob Jones University, losing access to public funds and seeing their tax-exempt status revoked.

We have a right to continue stealing state money while not following state laws. C’monnnnnnn. Give us a freebie on breaking the law. Just this once. It’s not like our skin is brown, after all!

In the past, this constant-pressure scenario has seemed the less-likely one, since Americans are better at agreeing to disagree than the culture war would suggest. But it feels a little bit more likely after last week’s “debate” in Arizona, over a bill that was designed to clarify whether existing religious freedom protections can be invoked by defendants like the florist or the photographer.

If you don’t recognize my description of the bill, then you probably followed the press coverage, which was mendacious and hysterical — evincing no familiarity with the legal issues, and endlessly parroting the line that the bill would institute “Jim Crow” for gays. (Never mind that in Arizona it’s currently legal to discriminate based on sexual orientation — and mass discrimination isn’t exactly breaking out.) Allegedly sensible centrists compared the bill’s supporters to segregationist politicians, liberals invoked the Bob Jones precedent to dismiss religious-liberty concerns, and Republican politicians behaved as though the law had been written by David Duke.

Snrk.

If you ever find yourself reduced to trying to hard-sell things like the Arizona “Let’s copy Russia and make ourselves even more of a laughing stock” Bill in order to try and cling to a last drifting ice floe of relevance, do not hesitate to wave up on occasion so all of us watching on satellite phone can enjoy your futile plight.

I’m sure this is exactly how segregationists sounded in the 70s, but this is hilarious to witness nonetheless.

Still… this general retread of failure that has become the bottom of the bag of the homophobe circuit is all well and good, but I was lead to believe that we’d be seeing something new from ol’ Douchey. Something akin to his screaming meltdown at the thought of having sex with a woman.

What makes this response particularly instructive is that such bills have been seen, in the past, as a way for religious conservatives to negotiate surrender

Ah, there it is.

Joyous.

Yeah, desperate last minute attempts by conservatives to enshrine bigotry despite the changing legal landscape around them is indeed the traditional response to such moments.

But your word choice really does bring home why we are not inclined to put up with this shit any more.

You, as you noted, are negotiating surrender.

In other words, you lost, completely and utterly and no longer have any ground by which to stand on. Your forces have been decimated, your people broken, and… wait, let me hear you say it, first.

— to accept same-sex marriage’s inevitability while carving out protections for dissent. But now, apparently, the official line is that you bigots don’t get to negotiate anymore.

Damn fucking straight. You lost. The time when you had a position to sue for peace in the form of passing stop-gap measures that would turn out terrible for gay people in the long-term or would render existing law impotent has ended.

Now is when you either accept the rather forgiving terms of those who have won with the blood of their own people or you are eliminated, if one should follow the analogy.

People don’t really get to dither all that much when it’s down to the point of surrendering. They don’t get to go, oh hey, could we have all the free shit we got away with at the beginning of this whole affair. If they are lucky, they get to keep some semblance of their institutions. Because that’s what happens when you lose a war.

Which has a certain bracing logic.

No fucking shit it does.

And the irony is that this is no war nor war’s surrender. The battle was not army against army, a mountain of dead against gunpowder and steel. It is social evolution, hard-fought by those who cared enough to stand for the rights of those who had none, even if they had no choice but to fight for themselves.

What has happened is that it’s no longer “cool” to be a homophobe and it is no longer as terrible to be a white queer boy developing a crush on another lad or a rich white girl having a fling with another rich white girl. And people are slightly more accepting of those queer couples who want to marry and have 2.5 children in the suburbs.

And a bunch of old dumb fucks who want to continue getting paid for hating on said queer people and recycling the same five lies about florists and adoption agencies want to act like they’ve lost a war in being bypassed and asking for unprecedented rights in negotiating their irrelevance so they can still pretend they are relevant in the right “areas” so they can squeeze a few more drops of cash from the literally dying market.

And well, no.

It doesn’t work that way. You lost your right to negotiate, to make this transition comfortable for you, slowed down to suit your needs. We’ve waited long enough and now the world has caught up to us and left you out in the cold. There’s no patience left to kindly look the other way while you try and quickly emulate Russia or Uganda and ask for the right to never have to acknowledge a queer person ever again.

Because even if this cultural battle was never a war, it nonetheless has always had losers.

And it’s a happy day now that everyone has finally recognized that fact and identified the losers in question.

If your only goal is ensuring that support for traditional marriage diminishes as rapidly as possible,

Indeed it is. You know, years ago, when I was congratulating a lesbian couple who I was friends with on their recent non-legally binding religious marriage ceremony, I had to be corrected and reminded that the only reason they had to get married on the beach in front of a few family and friends was so as to diminish support for traditional marriage.

And it was really embarrassing because I had already been working for the Anti-Christ’s secret forces by that time and already knew about how eliminating “traditional” marriages was a key first step in creating a Demon Apocalypse.

I mean, it’s not like anyone could love a married partner. I mean, how could anyone ever love an evil she-beast with her vile vagina when there are so many striking handsome men around the New York Times offices sweating and grunting in the gym and… NO, it’s all Chunky Reese Witherspoon’s fault I’m this way!!!!

applying constant pressure to religious individuals and institutions will probably do the job.

Oh get off the cross, we need the wood.

Already, my fellow Christians are divided over these issues, and we’ll be more divided the more pressure we face.

Oh hey, guess what?

It’s not the job of your victims to fight your sectarian battles for you. If your religious followers are not listening to you when you spout your “religious” horseshit, it’s not our job to suffer so that you can “reign” them back in.

And that goes double for your newly revitalized fight against contraception access.

The conjugal, male-female view of marriage is too theologically rooted to disappear, but its remaining adherents can be marginalized, set against one other, and encouraged to conform.

The more homophobes seem to think that people will stop having straight sex the second that people are allowed to be in queer couplings, the more I am convinced that the homophobes arguing this don’t have a straight bone in their bodies.

I am being descriptive here, rather than self-pitying.

Heh. Let’s be honest, Douchehat. Is there a single thing you have ever done in your life that hasn’t been self-pitying. I’m pretty much convinced you even piss in a self-pitying fashion. Oh woe is me that I must expel urine. The women and homosexuals have lain me low this day!

Christians had plenty of opportunities — thousands of years’ worth — to treat gay people with real charity,

Yeah, they did, didn’t they?

They had a myriad of opportunities to get ahead of a movement everyone could see moving and live up to the principles they claimed to believe in in ways that would have made queer people more sympathetic and less likely to reject religion entirely and cause their friends and families to associate religion with bigotry.

But it was worth more to exploit the bigotry.

And so here we are, you realizing that your centuries long campaign has just ended with people looking at most major religions as one would a dead rat torn apart by maggots atop the Christmas roast.

I wonder why that happened.

and far too often chose intolerance. (And still do, in many instances and places.)

Oh right, that reflexive response of bigotry as epitomized by such things as, say, this post.

Yeah, that really besmirched the “good name” of religious bigotry amongst those who care if queer people live or die, didn’t it?

So being marginalized, being sued, losing tax-exempt status — this will be uncomfortable, but we should keep perspective and remember our sins, and nobody should call it persecution.

I’m constantly amazed by the ability of conservatives to literally completely forget themselves in the middle of a sentence. It’s like some bizarrely weaponized form of intentional Alzheimer’s being used to facilitate deliberate ignorance. Like a Frankensteinian experiment gone horribly horribly wrong.

But it’s still important for the winning side to recognize its power.

Um, Mr. Fag, sir, we’d sure appreciate it if you didn’t hold the wholesale slaughter of your people, the endless slurs, and the way we blocked you from marrying your partner of 50 years before he died, but we’d ever so appreciate it if you treated us with the kindness we never showed you.

And you know what the bitch of it is?

We will.

Because every minority group who has ever won rights at any point in time has shown forgiveness and a weary offer of friendship to those who tormented and abused them. Every time. Despite all the fears of the bigots, claiming that giving rights to the scum and the help would lead to the End of the Universe and mass slaughter of the privileged peoples, the marginalized have always simply taken their rights and lived.

And that’s what will happen again here. Gays and lesbians will marry in the states they can. Eventually they will marry everywhere here in the States and perhaps one day, everywhere in the world. And it will cease to be a thing. And there won’t be hordes of pissed off queers seeking revenge for the Plague Years or all the people who couldn’t even attend the funerals of beloved partners because of existing laws or all the Matthew Shepards who are still happening today.

They will live their lives, no longer harassed by fuckers who think being born straight makes them better than those who weren’t.

And the bigots will return to being an afterthought, a “oh yeah, that fucker” to be mentioned on rare occasion.

And perhaps that is the worst punishment of all. To cease to matter and to be forgotten by those you sought to eliminate. To no longer be a source of fear, but a source of mirth.

And to that, I say, tough titties, you clowns.

We are not really having an argument about same-sex marriage anymore, and on the evidence of Arizona, we’re not having a negotiation. Instead, all that’s left is the timing of the final victory — and for the defeated to find out what settlement the victors will impose.

Would you say, we’re shoving this victory down your throat?

Cause all the squirming down there seems to suggest so.

Well, at least we won’t have to hear these tired arguments and desperate attempts to claim martyr anymore.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. The next time you are having queer sex, spare a moment to tip a glass for the poor professional homophobes who are forced to find new jobs now due to cruel queer bigotry against their business and industry. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 225

 
 
 

“Losing tax-exempt status.”

SO MARGINALIZED!!!!

What a fucking asshole. Bigots want to continue treating people as subhuman “abominations” because if their sexual orientation and they should totally be supported by government subsidies to do so. Because that’s freedom and justice and what a compassionate all-loving God wants.

Fuck.

 
 

Because every minority group who has ever won rights at any point in time has shown forgiveness and a weary offer of friendship to those who tormented and abused them. Every time. Despite all the fears of the bigots, claiming that giving rights to the scum and the help would lead to the End of the Universe and mass slaughter of the privileged peoples, the marginalized have always simply taken their rights and lived.

Beautifully said!

 
 

Yeah I know this is supposed to be one of these conservative mea culpa swivel to the voting demographic with maybe two more election cycles before average life expectancy, but fuck if he still isn’t Douchehat in doing it.

 
 

Christians had plenty of opportunities — thousands of years’ worth — to treat gay people with real charity,

ol’ pontificatin’ ross is not lumping himself in with these particular ‘christians’, is he?

 
 

Well, maybe he can finally climb out of the closet* and start fixing the mess he’s made of his life.
*which assumes he is a closeted gay man, which would be narratively satisfying, but is not necessarily true. It sure would explain although, not excuse a lot of his creepy misogyny.

 
 

which assumes he is a closeted gay man

I’m thinking more along the lines of closeted goat-fucker.

 
 

And, eventually, religious schools and colleges would receive the same treatment as racist holdouts like Bob Jones University, losing access to public funds and seeing their tax-exempt status revoked.

And not a moment too soon. Also, does this shithead not realize that losing their tax-exempt status is just another form of losing access to public funding?

On a somewhat related note, Mana, a local magazine, has “The Meaning of Mahu” as the cover story for the current (Feb/Mar) issue. Right there in the checkout magazine racks in my local supermarket for everyone and their keiki to see.

 
 

It’s too bad for conservatives (and us all) that they didn’t have a fair shot at convincing people, or if necessary I dunno, cajoling them (let’s say) into right-minded views on sex and gender and stuff.

If they had at least had some strongholds, somewhere, during the last few eons, in which to show people the way — really pull ahead, y’know — why then, none of this pointless nonsense would be happening! On the merits.

 
 

Sometimes a creepy misogynist is just a creepy misogynist.

 
 

Who fucks goats. In a closet.

 
 

Who fucks goats. In a closet.

if you are asking a question, and not just finishing your thought, i would say someone with fairly large closets…

 
 

DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 

Hey Ross! Why dontcha cry about it! LOLOLOLOL

U MAD, BRO?

COME AT ME.

Just look at all the fucks I give.

Yes, here comes the endless stream of bewildering chatter about the how good we had it when it socially acceptable and even encouraged to treat anybody except well-to-do white males like the garbage they really are.

 
 

For Douchehat and his ilk, here is something to ponder when you’re crying in your margarita over all the advances our society is making with respect to human decency and dignity and equality:

You either believe in the ideal of “Liberty and Justice for ALL”, or you don’t. Choose a side. Take control of your mind and think about how you would like to be treated and start treating others that way. I promise you’ll be much happier and healthier.

(PROTIP: Your Jesus commanded this of you. Best to follow his instructions if you don’t want to get fried in Hell, k?)

Good talk, guys.

 
 

The overuse of unauthorized punctuation on this site is proof that Obamacare will be repealed within the week and that “Mitt Reagan” (as we like to call him) will win 40+ states in the 2012 2016 election. Scared yet, libs?

 
 

Saw something recently that should, but won’t receive attribution (fbook friend): treat everyone you meet twenty percent better then you would like to be treated, to make up for subjective bias.

 
 

I was pleasantly surprised by the Obama / Zach G[reekname-unspellable] “Between Two Ferns” appearance. I think it will fulfill its purpose well.

 
 

Do not love your neighbor as yourself. If you are on good terms with yourself it is an impertinence: if on bad, an injury.

G. B. Shaw

 
 

Cerb: Bookmark this post for the ‘Best of Cerberus’ anthology.

 
 

with a substantial minority of Americans,

what the hell is a substantial minority?

 
 

….sorry but I am too busy counting punctuation marks to pay attention to what you just said.

 
 

Scared yet, libs?

°¡?$!!FUKCIN TERIFYED&&!!!!!111!!!

 
 

….sorry but I am too busy counting punctuation marks to pay attention to what you just said.

perhaps this will help:

…what the hell is a substantial minority?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

 
 

Hmmmm…. seven !’s and eight ?’s…. Moran’s!

if you post this repeatedly over the next 12 hours or so, we’ll really pay attention…

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

It’s not a string of exclamation points and question marks, it’s a humongous interrobang.

 
 

…what the hell is a substantial minority?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

How ’bout in Kirkspeak?

What. The. Hell. … … isasubstantialminority?

 
 

“Mitt Reagan” (as we like to call him) will win 40+ states in the 2012 2016 election. Scared yet, libs?

no…according to jon s., the mittster won’t get the party nod by using a very complex formula

 
 

Ooops, sorry – forgot.

What. The. Hell. … … isasubstantialminority!?!!??!!!???!!!!???

 
 

What. The. Hell. … … isasubstantialminority!?!!??!!!???!!!!???

well, NOW you have my attention!!!!!!!!!!

 
 

Benghazi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 

Repeal Obamacare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 

Benghazi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!11!WOLVERINES!!!11!!!

 
George effing Will
 

You’re so unneighborly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
Every former hegemonist everywhere
 

“Substantial minority” means however many of us there are in the minority. An insubstantial minority is “we don’t give a fuck how many of you there are, it doesn’t matter because we have the majority.”

 
 

Substantial minority is three more than a minor substantiality.

 
 

How enlightening. All those shitheads down South didn’t lynch anyone. They were dissenting.

 
 

Please go away. Both of you.

 
 

I remember being told, so many times, “But why is marriage important?’ or ‘Shouldn’t you wait on that until everyone has equal right?’

I’m not sure how to answer that. But one of the first things I always mention is how my spouse and I have been paying ~ $6K more in taxes each year because of this inequality. But there are so many other things that were taken for granted that this victory gives us.

 
 

Douchehat has douchepan hands.
.

 
 

I remember being told, so many times, “But why is marriage important?’ or ‘Shouldn’t you wait on that until everyone has equal right?’

That “Shouldn’t you wait until everyone … ?” line sure is a popular one among Certain People. Those using it seem to imply that your concern is a very minor one; that you’re being selfish; that you, yourself, are trampling on others’ rights by asking for special treatment; etc.

 
 

Douchehat has douchepan hands.

he’s soaking in it…

 
 

And on a completely petty note, I thought Gov. Goodhair’s hair didn’t look very good at all in that Daily Show segment linked above. In fact, Gov. Goodhair himself didn’t look very well.

Don’t you think he looks tired?

 
 

I’m not sure how to answer that. But one of the first things I always mention is how my spouse and I have been paying ~ $6K more in taxes each year because of this inequality. But there are so many other things that were taken for granted that this victory gives us.

A friend of mine was finally able to marry his partner of thirty years when New Jersey made same sex marriage legal. The two of them are approaching a time in their lives when they might have to make some very difficult decisions about medical care, power of attorney, and the like. This is the most important factor in the marriage equality issue… this is “where people live”, so to speak.

 
 

I figure a “substantial minority” is, roughly speaking, 20-40%

 
 

I figure a “substantial minority” is, roughly speaking, 20-40%

my point is just that it doesn’t matter if one is in a substantial minority…you’re still in the minority…i’ve just never heard the term before and find it to be a bit quixotic…

 
 

I believe this cartoon just might sum up the whole CPAC attitude in six panels.

https://firstdog-onthemoon.squarespace.com/my-walkley-nomination-about-which-i-am-very-excited/

 
 

I believe this cartoon just might sum up the whole CPAC attitude in six panels.

https://firstdog-onthemoon.squarespace.com/my-walkley-nomination-about-which-i-am-very-excited/

It’s nice/horrifying to know it’s not just US.

 
 

Well yeah, in a winner-take-all system, a “substantial minority” loses, but in other contexts it’s an important distinction.

Sorry I’m not being funny … I’ll make up for it sometime, somehow.

 
 

I’d rather be a substantial minority than be a minority in subspace.

 
 

A minority of bigots always lingers on like a turd stubbornly clinging to the ass hairs of society

That right there is a delightful turn of phrase. That will be stolen and filed alongside “clings like a cum stain on the corduroy couch of culture” in my lexicon.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

The pithy version: Dinglebigots.

 
 

The proud Klingons orbiting Uranus resent the comparison.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Someone doesn’t quite understand.

Gay men are men – to wit, men who define themselves as men-loving men who refuse to be involved with women. It’s reasonable not to hate people for existing in such a male-centered way, but on the other hand, it’s unreasonable to endorse without any caveats any aim or demand that such a group might articulate. Gestational surrogacy is a dream come true for woman-hating chauvinists who are bound to congregate under such an umbrella: men enjoy all the “phallic” privilege that the bourgeois patriarchy can provide, and women are put in their place. Not even in the kitchen, no – in a barracks somewhere, patrolled by goons who will snatch away their babies whenever the men demand it.

D-KW gots competition!

http://americanthinker.com/2014/03/breeders_how_gay_men_destroyed_the_left.html

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Also, PROJECTION!

 
 

Someone doesn’t quite understand.

HOLY FUCK

I swear the shit these fuckers write is just their rejected material for Sub-B movies.

men enjoy all the “phallic” privilege that the bourgeois patriarchy can provide

Seriously, what the ACTUAL FUCK does this even mean? Should I be shitting my pants right now?

 
 

Should I be shitting my pants right now?

Pfft, YOU’RE not the one who’s going in a womb barrack patrolled by gay goons.

 
 

Pfft, YOU’RE not the one who’s going in a womb barrack patrolled by gay goons

They’re gay. Just wear trashy clothes and cheap shoes and they’ll throw you right the hell out of there.

 
 

If the women are locked away in a barrack patrolled by men who refuse to be involved with women, where the hell are those babies coming from?

 
 

where the hell are those babies coming from?

And I want to know where all the mandated gay abortions fit into this scheme.

 
 

where the hell are those babies coming from

Stem cell embryosOMFG IT’S ALL STARTING TO MAKE SENSE

 
 

… men who define themselves as men-loving men who refuse to be involved with women

I don’t think even the least literate, least artsy queer ever spawned would say it this way, even if it were true. Ugh. American Thinker — where written expression crawls off to die.

This is sexuality without arousal, orientation as defining this and refusing that … Mr. Robert Oscar Lopez, I suspect that the gay brains and dicks work alot like mine. I do not “refuse” to become aroused in the company of men, etc. It just fails to happen. Why, I don’t even have sexual thoughts about some women!

 
 

Gay men were teased about their sexual tastes and had to face anti-sodomy laws, which made it hard for them to find erotic release. They had the option of lying to protect themselves. Living a lie is hard, but living a lie when you enjoy all the economic, racial, and patriarchal advantages of having to worry only about your sex life is hardly on the scale of Jim Crow, women not having the right to vote, or poor people starving during times of famine or unemployment. There is an enormous difference between systematic, large-scale persecution and simply facing barriers to sexual pleasure.

wow, gay men! could you be anymore selfish? after all…they were only teasing!

 
 

zomgoodness, you guys…that stinker piece is just chockfull of bullshit…like, i just found out that feminists can’t have babbies because #1 too many abortions in their 20s #2 being too busy having a career to have babbies…there’s lots and lots more gems such as that…each carefully thought out with proper citation…

 
 

wow, gay men! could you be anymore selfish? after all…they were only teasing!

Matthew Shepard had no sense of humor at all.

 
 

… erotic release … having only to worry about your sex life … barriers to sexual pleasure

See, the repression was all about sex. Relationships and other forms of expression were equally afforded to gays.

Two years ago, I lunched with [one of the straw liberals that inhabits these anecdotes who is now a] tenured leftist at a renowned university.

Emphasis mine. Wow, I thought tenure was for professors, and hot-shit academic librarians and suchlike. I’m almost excited. I bet these gigs are super sweet.

 
 

Pfft, YOU’RE not the one who’s going in a womb barrack patrolled by gay goons.

personally, i find this to be a bit titillating…

I’m almost excited. I bet these gigs are super sweet.

i know! between having my womb barrack patrolled by gay goons and the thought of being a tenured leftist, i’m pretty pumped about my prospects right now…

 
 

Someone doesn’t quite understand.

Gay men are coming to steal your women?!?!?!!@@

 
 

You guys are really disrespectful.

This was the very first column by Robert Oscar Lopez in which he didn’t whine about his horrific upbringing by lesbians (or somebody gay or otherwise icky—I never quite got the story straight). And yet all you can do is point and mock.

 
 

You guys are really disrespectful.

hey, now! the author himself thinks teasing is okay:

Gay men were teased about their sexual tastes and had to face anti-sodomy laws, which made it hard for them to find erotic release..

also, too…anyone who could write the above sentence is no stranger to being pointed at and mocked…

 
 

actually, i find that sentence quite whimsical…just like my shiite catholic fb acquaintance who said the whole priest/child molesting thing is ‘a few priests misbehaving…’

 
 

!!!!!?&^%^&!!!, also, too…

 
 

hey, b^4…is n_b anywhere near the buildings exploded today?

 
 

The quotes from that American Thinker piece sound like they could come from a radical feminist.

Admittedly, the article make me feel surrogacy and adoption can be explotive, but those objection are hypocritical coming from an anti-abortion writer.

 
 

Epic Cerb Post! I read that the other day and had two immediate thoughts:

1) This douchecanoe is giving Poe’s Law a workout, and

B) This is a job for Cerberus!

I dropped in hoping you had rebutted it, but I guess it was too early. Glad I checked back.

/we now return to your regularly-scheduled soul-crushing day job

 
 

closeted goat-fucker

Well, the confined space keeps ’em from runnin’ away.

If no closet is available, you gotta put their hind legs into your boots…

Ahem… so I’ve read on teh intertubes.

 
 

, but those objection are hypocritical coming from an anti-abortion writer.

clearly you have not been paying attention, fa…every child must be born and either sold in a wingnut approved sale (adoption) or kept by the mother who did not want said baby for various reasons and then, if the babby didn’t choose it’s parent wisely (rich and/or wingnut) then it’s tough titties…that babby should pull itself up by it’s bootstraps (adorable!) and it’s mom quit being a moocher…

 
 

Loud applause for bbkf’s concise distallation of Wingnuttery.

 
 

I just finished watching Feinstein’s statement on the Senate floor. The link goes a page with both video (38:00) and text. Despite its length, I recommend watching–or listening to–the video. It provides a good summary of the key issues in the confrontation between the Intelligence Committee and CIA. (It also provides a glimpse of how highly-sensitive material is handled in both physical and digital formats.

It’s hard to imagine how Obama can keep Brennan as DCI after this blistering statement from the Chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee.

 
 

So, I’m moving. Quite suddenly. I need couches to surf!
.

 
 

I’ve been wanting to learn what Feinstein’s been on about, but afraid that too much effort would be needed to understand. (Long story short, the CIA is a rogue agency that answers to nobody, but what’s new? is the question.)

 
 

I would trust DiFi on the CIA shit quite a bit more if she had cared two shits about it when she thought it didn’t affect her personally.

 
 

Jeffraham: find a nearby college. There are always couches randomly placed in yards.

But srsly, what’s the story?

 
 

Actually I CAN imagine it: Obama sure loves him some Surveillance-and-Security State, don’t he? He’s such a weasel. Only three more years of him. And then we get another Democratic weasel….and a quasi-neoliberal, corporate, and elitist weasel at that.

 
 

hey, b^4…is n_b anywhere near the buildings exploded today?

I’m working appalling hours, sorry about missing this comment. Ned’s office and apartment are both W…A…Y… downtown, while the explosion/collapse took place pretty far uptown in Spanish Harlem. The buildings were on Park Avenue north of 116th St (the heart of the barrio- and once the home of one of the best Italian bakeries in the city, the famed Morrone and Sons, makers of the finest cracked pepper friselle I’ve ever had).

Ned will be one of the go-to guys when it comes to a forensic analysis of what went wrong.

I need to drop him a line- it’s be a while since I’ve seen the big lug.

 
 

OBS: Don’t get me wrong: I think Feinstein has been despicable, the way she has covered for spooks, especially the fucking NSA. In a twisted way, that’s WHY this open blast (*) from HER really puts the heat on the assholes.

(*) includes moments of lectern pounding for emphasis.

 
 

Jeffraham: Yeah, I’m with BBBB on the curiosity train: What’s the story? What’s shakin’? Is it a local-type move?

 
 

OH HI Fenwick. I’m never here so I miss my friends here. How’s AZ? Can I come visit?

 
 

BBBB: I liked the Spanish Harlem murals!

 
 

Also? Feinstein? Screw her. She was all for OTHER people being spied on. Now that she’s being spied on? Her wittle fweelings are hurt. Fuck her.

 
 

Jeffraham: Yeah, I’m with BBBB on the curiosity train: What’s the story? What’s shakin’? Is it a local-type move?

Me too. What gives?

 
 

Hi Ellen. Arizona is totally fucked up! So I’m glad I moved to Albuquerque! Much, much lower cost of living than Baltimore. Much, much milder winter. (I admit to feeling sorta guilty seeing the rest of the country get pounded. Srsly, we had 4″ of snow cumulative. There were about 10 days of t-shirt weather in February, fer petesake.)

By all means visit New Mexico! Factoid: Santa Fe and Albuquerque have a dedicated commuter-type train, the RoadRunner, that wisks people back and forth lickety-split. Even by car, the cities are only an hour’s drive apart….through some lovely country. Also fun cuisine! (Invitation also good for other Sadlies, o’ course….)

I’m never here so I miss my friends here.

So….visit more often!

 
 

HELEN: Oh fudge! I’m sorry for messing up yer name. (True: ‘Ellen’ was a Danish student I had a fling with during my European journey in 1977. Her name just echos in my brane….)

 
 

I flirted with Ellen in Sorrento. She was heading for Greece…but gave me her number in Copenhagen. A month later, I called her when I arrived. She had a print of Bosch’s Garden of Earthly Delights on the wall next to her bed.

[long silence]

I hate growing old. Tomorrow is my 65th birthday.

 
 

OK Fenwick – so I fucked up AZ; it is NM and you fucked up my name. We are even. And that whole “Ellen” story? TMI MISTER!!

But be careful about the price of living. Had dinner tonight with NYC friends. They keep talking about leaving NYC to a lower tax state. And I say – you paid all these taxes and you want to leave for a State that does not nearly have the services you will need when you are old? Old people in NYC are GOLD. You just gotta get there.

You know I am leaving for Ireland when I retire (7 years). Dublin has a tram system through the city where they trust you to pay. No one checks. YAY SOCIALISM.

 
 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FENWICK

 
 

I hate growing old. Tomorrow is my 65th birthday.

Well, happy birthday, anyway, dammit! My stepmother’s 85th birthday is later this month, so there!

Seriously, I hope you have a happy day.

 
 

I hate growing old. Tomorrow is my 65th birthday.

Growing old is better than the alternative. Enjoy your birthday, old chum!

 
 

You know I am leaving for Ireland when I retire (7 years). Dublin has a tram system through the city where they trust you to pay. No one checks. YAY SOCIALISM.

Most European train systems operate that way. The honor system works when people don’t think that cheating the system is “sticking it to the man”.

A lot of the problems in this country could be solved if people didn’t buy into that asinine “government is the problem” BS that Reagan would sling. Uh, we are the government, dumbass ‘baggers.

 
 

Yes BBBB. Yes. I can’t wait to get there.

 
 

PS: About Dallas Buyer’s Club…

I’ve heard whinging that it didn’t show Act Up as effectual. But the same could be said (in reverse) of previous movies – they always showed the stoners as being ineffectual. Which I suppose they were, until now, but they did bankroll things. The all-ages queer club that was the safe spot for teens to get away from the street and was my home away from home? Silently bankrolled by a buyer’s club. But they always kept the two financially disparate.

It just seems petty to say they can’t have their victories as well, when all these actions were on their own and separate. Many of the purely political or social wouldn’t admit any connections to the legalization works, so why should we be angry now when they crow about what they did without our help when we for so long did not (could not?) admit their help?

 
 

Happy Birthday, Fenwick, ya whippersnapper. I would tell you It Gets Better but that would be a lie.

 
 

Most European train systems operate that way.

Oh there are ticket inspectors, and random checks, and 50-Euro spot fines for freeloaders, extracted by merciless minions of the State who have heard every sob-story and have no sense of humour. Or so I hear from a friend.

 
 

Jeffraham Chili P. said,
So, I’m moving. Quite suddenly. I need couches to surf!

[Quickly checks Prestonian blog, concerned for status of cats]

 
 

hardly on the scale of Jim Crow, women not having the right to vote, or poor people starving during times of famine or unemployment.

As if anyone writing for the American Thinker gives a shit about any of those. Besides which, since we’re always being told that we now live in a post-racist, post-sexist country that’s the richest and best in the world, haven’t gays more than waited their turn?

Also too: happy birthday, I hope you have a nice one and many more to boot.

 
 

Oh there are ticket inspectors, and random checks, and 50-Euro spot fines for freeloaders, extracted by merciless minions of the State who have heard every sob-story and have no sense of humour.

That’s correct. I’ve been tapped for random checks a couple of times.

 
 

happy birthday to fenwick…glad to see that you’ve mastered linking…see? you’re never too old to learn…

 
 

When my sister was studying in Denmark she had a friend who would never buy a ticket and would just chance the fines.

 
 

Also, too, I’ve said it here before, and I’ll say it again…

Isn’t it strange that the only thing in the Bible that is NEVER taken literally is the Golden Rule?

 
 

It’s hard to imagine how Obama can keep Brennan as DCI after this blistering statement from the Chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee.

Wait, you mean the chair of the Intel Committee that has been defending the NSA spying practices and the use of drones indiscriminately all over the world? The Democrat who is as big a hawk as Joe Weaselmann was? The one who’s mad as hell about the CIA looking through the computers that were supplied BY the CIA?

 
 

I think the dynamic here is that Feinstein has always thought of it as WE can spy on whoever WE like, but she now discovers that she is not part of that WE. I think the outrage is based more on her feeling betrayed rather than her feeling that the actual spying is wrong.

 
 

Isn’t it strange that the only thing in the Bible that is NEVER taken literally is the Golden Rule?

If Jesus told his followers to buy a sword then of course churches should give away or raffle off AR-15s. The sword is not a metaphor, unless it’s a metaphor for another weapon, but wingnuts can’t be expected to err on the side of blackjacks and slingshots, hmm?

 
 

To clarify, I have no idea what Jesus was talking about, and I can’t vouch for the biblical site I linked. But it’s funny that playing it safe-n-literal by carrying swords (or nothing) doesn’t appeal to the christian right.

 
 

Happy birthday Fenwick.

 
 

I’ve noticed that not many Christian take the 10 commandments literally either. I’m guessing that a majority of people who consider themselves Christian could not accurately list all ten off the tops of their heads. I mean, you’ve got this all powerful, all knowing God who gives you ten fairly straight forward commandments and you have an eternity in hell waiting if you slip up. And yet you can’t be a true Christian conservative if you let the 6th commandment take precedence over the 2nd amendment.

 
 

Swords would require the ability to handle sharp objects safely, CRA.

 
 

How come they don’t follow the Golden Rule?

The Cons are big boosters of war and austerity… But always for other people, not themselves.

 
 

you’ve got this all powerful, all knowing God who gives you ten fairly straight forward commandments

Well, sorta-kinda… There are three different versions of the Ten Commandments in the Bible…

Here’s a golden oldie that goes into that…

http://www.adishakti.org/pdf_files_2/ten_commandments_(atheists.org).pdf

 
 

Thanks for the kind wishes, y’all. Sadlies are the bestest people.

 
 

Here’s a golden oldie that goes into that…

huh…that’s a pretty interesting piece…i never thought of the commandment/amendment coparison before…

 
 

News for Canukistan Sadlies:

The Most Awesome and Truly Exceptional Nation in the world has selected an ambassador to our frozen neighbor to the north. And boy-o-boy, Bruce Heyman is a perfect product of yet another corporate presidency …

Heyman is a Chicago investment banker and campaign fundraiser. He has served as managing director for private wealth management at Goldman Sachs. He first joined the investment bank in 1980.

 
 

Too lazy to provide a link. It’s at HuffPo.

 
 

Fenwick, how’s the birthday going? Did you go into Old Town for a nice Southwestern lunch?

 
 

Hey B4, friends of mine are playing at this cool looking place on Saturday in Yonkers. Great new acoustic music.

 
 

I have to work Saturday night, but that looks like a great concert series, the Beczak Center is a wonderful resource, they do a lot of environmental research/outreach. I have a friend who has been involved in the Clearwater Festival for years, and he’d probably be interested.

 
 

Happy Birthday, dude.

 
 

They’re in Brooklyn here on Sunday. You can spread the word with confidence, they’re excellent musicians with a great show. Band website here.

 
 

And perhaps that is the worst punishment of all. To cease to matter and to be forgotten by those you sought to eliminate. To no longer be a source of fear, but a source of mirth.

I agree with this, actually. One of the best explanations for their obsession with loonier and loonier conspiracies is that they need to convince themselves that they really are heroes at war with oppressive fascists – it’s better than realizing that their entire political causes are pointless because no one cares enough to oppress them.

 
 

Wait. I am confused about this gay surrogacy thing. Does this mean that gay men can be moms? AFAF. Totes heterosexually.

 
 

Also too, your lovely Senate hosted a fellow LEAFS SUCKian and I just wanted to thank you for the hospitality.

 
 

Ah. Happy birthday, old bean.

 
 

They’re in Brooklyn here on Sunday. You can spread the word with confidence, they’re excellent musicians with a great show. Band website here.

Sounds like a blog post! I’m spoken for until Monday, which is a damn good thing, it being the Solemn Feast of St Patrick. I plan on telling the beads beers all day.

 
 

linky no worky…

 
 

okay…i am struggling again today…ugh, everything going wrong and i just want to go home and pull the covers over my head and wait for a hopefully better week…anyhoo, yes dkw’s link DOES work, i was just momentarily incapable…here’s my favorite bit:

Martin faced some tough questions about Canada’s system from Republican Senator Richard Burr, who opposes the Affordable Care Act, more popularly known as Obamacare, that overhauled the American system.

“On average, how many Canadian patients on a waiting list die each year, do you know?” he pressed her.

“I don’t sir, but I know there are 45,000 in America who die waiting because they don’t have insurance at all,” Martin shot back.

BA-ZING!

 
 

is there some sort of sadly rapture that i’m missing out on?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

No rapture, just the Friday morning doldrums.

 
 

No rapture, just the Friday morning doldrums.

meh…tell me about it…gloomy weather, you’re not helping!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I worked until 4am and go back at 5pm for a 12 hour shift (a coworker has an event at his other job so I’m covering him). I’m physically unable to help at this time.

 
 

is there some sort of sadly rapture that i’m missing out on?

Theres a Zardozing going on at a certain Zombie’s blog that you are missing out on… Von’s involved — you need to drop by.

 
 

Weather’s nice here but I’m bustling around. Mostly seething that despite the bloated punditocracy we have it takes a wise ass sportswriter to straight talk this issue.

Either CIA director John Brennan gets to the bottom of what his people were doing and publicly fires everyone involved, or John Brennan becomes the ex-director of the CIA….That is the choice that the president should give Brennan. Right now. This morning.

With Substance on hiatus someone needs to step up on the anti-torture front.

 
 

With Substance on hiatus someone needs to step up on the anti-torture front.

The problem with torture is that a third of the country thinks it’s awesome and would like it even better if they could be the torturers themselves. How the fuck do you fight that? This country is fucking sick.

 
 

Back when he was RB I noticed him because he was tireless in trolling torture supporters all over the web. Valiant work, much to be admired.

 
 

That was righteous of him.

 
 

That boy has grown himself up a textbook case of Stigmata Envy.
Could clear that whole kerfuffle right up with a jug of Heinz 57 & some shrooms, I dare say.

Heh. Been saying “tough titties” a bit more myself lately – to the species, I mean.

 
 

Von’s involved — you need to drop by.

I AM THERE!!!

 
 

Heh. Been saying “tough titties” a bit more myself lately – to the species, I mean.

i’ve been muttering ‘boofuckinghoo’ a LOT…

 
 

Fenwick, how’s the birthday going? Did you go into Old Town for a nice Southwestern lunch?

Even better: I was over at my brother’s house and he cooked a wonderful dinner. He is a superb cook! Again, thanks to all the Sadlies for your good wishes.

—————

From BBC: How a pilot deals with an emergency. Video shot in the cockpit of Boeing MH370 [the missing Malaysian plane] as a Boeing pilot explains emergency actions….with good views of controls, including close-up of transponder console. I thought this would be interesting to the Major … and useful to other Sadlies for imagining his working environment. If recall correctly, Major Kong sits in the co-pilot’s seat (empty in video). The video’s pilot describes the co-pilot’s role in an emergency.

Now I must ketchup.

 
 

Even better: I was over at my brother’s house and he cooked a wonderful dinner. He is a superb cook! Again, thanks to all the Sadlies for your good wishes.

Nice to know you have family so close by.

 
 

Thanks for the promo, OBS. Bastard. Now all these Sadly reprobates will foul up the Empire. JUST WHEN I GET OUT, THEY PULL ME BACK IN!

Ahh, who am I kidding? The Empire is kind of the busted down convenience store of the internarfles. we’ll serve almost anyone.

To explain further, we are going goofy and Zardozing the joint for many hundreds of comments to support and cheer up Von, a member of the 3Bulls bloogerhood who has joined so many in the ranks of the unemployed recently.

All are welcome. Be kind to Von and Be aware that the first comment is moderated.

 
 

Thanks for the promo, OBS. Bastard.

Oh man, now you’ve done it. I only implied where it was. You might as well shut your blog down. Again.

 
 

You might as well shut your blog down. Again.

Don’t give me ideas.

 
 

Origami Isopod said,

March 15, 2014 at 0:56

Sample the mango?

Fecking Smut.

 
 

Also too and moreover: I’m going to do Battle-O-the-Bands at the zombie’s place. So there’s yet another feature and reason to check in there from time-to-time.

 
 

The video’s pilot describes the co-pilot’s role in an emergency.

It varies by airline or even individual Captain. Some Captains prefer the First Officer to fly, which lets the Captain keep the “big picture”.

 
zombie rotten mcdonald
 

which lets the Captain keep the “big picture”.

,,,only observable on the inside of his eyelids, right?

 
 

Excellent Pi Day comment thread. The rankings are of course ridiculously off but the discussion below is quite insightful.

 
 

Also too and moreover: I’m going to do Battle-O-the-Bands at the zombie’s place. So there’s yet another feature and reason to check in there from time-to-time.

You do that at zombie’s place, old chum, and he’ll make you post videos for every one of those bands, 80% of which he’s already seen play live.

 
 

PENIS-RO-DAH!

I used to be a sexual adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow in the schlange.

 
zombie rotten mcdonald
 

OBS and Fenwick are trying to convince me to start frequenting this joint again. Is anyone really convinced that that is a good idea?

 
 

I’m not convinced it’s a bad idea.

 
 

OBS and Fenwick are trying to convince me to start frequenting this joint again. Is anyone really convinced that that is a good idea?

Do what you must, because you can. We know where to find you.

 
 

PENIS-RO-DAH!

okay, that’s the most disturbing fucking thing i’ve seen in a long time…wth?!?!

 
 

OBS and Fenwick are trying to convince me to start frequenting this joint again. Is anyone really convinced that that is a good idea?

ahhhh…but you always lent a certain je ne sais quoi to the place…also a faretheewell…

 
 

That’s a funny pie thread. So. Much. Wrong.

 
 

OBS and Fenwick are trying to convince me to start frequenting this joint again. Is anyone really convinced that that is a good idea?

I don’t see why not.

 
 

OBS and Fenwick are trying to convince me to start frequenting this joint again. Is anyone really convinced that that is a good idea?

There are worse ideas, I suppose.

 
 

ZOMBIE!! Sup, bro?

 
 

Having a coupla undead stumbling about always adds a bit of class to the old hangout.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Barbancourt rum, Gosling’s black seal rum, Cock & Bull ginger beer. Its called the Dark and Stormy. Waiting on the burger at Slow Bar.

http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/24/283378/restaurant/Buckman/Slow-Bar-Portland

 
 

Post Pi Day follow up.

Don’t get me wrong, I love me some pie for dessert. A slice of pecan pie and a hot dark roast coffee is my idea of a good time. That said, I think it ‘a a travesty that the sweet offerings have so dominated the word. Mmmmm savoury pies.

It is still quite noticeably winter here in LEAFS SUCK. A turkey pot pie would be no end of perfect right now. Who can say no to spanakopita? Pizza.

 
 

It’ a a fact that mi tipynigs go funny when I think abouts pie.

 
Every former hegemonist everywhere
 

Blueberry pie. Food of the gods. End of story.

 
 

Also of nym failing emperors.

 
 

That said, I think it ‘a a travesty that the sweet offerings have so dominated the word. Mmmmm savoury pies.

Oh, hell yeah! My personal favorite is snake and pygmy pie, but these antipodeans do a fine line of pies. Spanakopita and burek are also winners… quite a few of the pizzerias around here are owned by Albanians, and it’s a pity that so few of them serve burek.

 
 

It’s all DKW’s fault, but that thread has had me thinking about pies and their rankings. My top five, as made by me or someone equally fanatical;

Sour cream peach
Rhubarb
Wild blueberry
Apple
Blue Hubbard Honey Sqash

Honorable mentions to pecan, sour cherry and banana cream.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Shepherd’s pie. Made with hogget or mutton.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

24 blackbird pie.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

I’d like to mention Funeral Pie but its awful. Cloying.

 
 

Sure, I loves me some shepherd’s pie and tamale pie too but they’re not pies.

 
 

I had to look up funeral pie. Sounds like what my mom’s family calls mince pie which has other dried fruits as well as raisins. Yech.

 
 

Me too. What gives?

My DEA agent brother-in-law has figured out it was me.
.

 
 

Re : funeral Pie; If you don’t eat several mince pies at Xmas celebrations, you are heretics, I say, and blasphemers too. The venerable English pork pie is always good and our local pies are just like the Aussie ones B4 linked. My personal fave? Probly tarte tatin.

 
 

Re : funeral Pie; If you don’t eat several mince pies at Xmas celebrations, you are heretics, I say, and blasphemers too.

I prefer “apatheist”… though I did once have a mince pie made by a friend using a recipe from his Yorkshire mother.

 
 

But seriously, kittehs are fine, and all is good. I’ll be living in the ass-end of DesJesarlais’ district for a month or so, maybe more. Honestly, not that different than living in Jim Cooper’s.
.

 
 

Mmm. Meat pies. Slow cooked animal bits mixed with root vegetables and stock jammed into pastry. Mmmmmmm.

 
 

But seriously, kittehs are fine, and all is good. I’ll be living in the ass-end of DesJesarlais’ district for a month or so, maybe more. Honestly, not that different than living in Jim Cooper’s.

Hopefully the cats won’t be too traumatized by the move and the new environs. Good luck!

 
 

Hopefully the cats won’t be too traumatized by the move and the new environs. Good luck!

Thanks! They won’t like it — traveling in crates, ugh.
.

 
 

seriously, people?!?! anyfuckingkindofchocolate pie…

 
 

seriously, people?!?! anyfuckingkindofchocolate pie…

You should check out the schadenfreude pie recipe- it’s a chocolate pie with a hint of coffee flavor. I’ve never made one… seems dangerous.

 
 

But srsly folks. Meat pie. If you try it, I guarantee you’ll Lovett.

 
 

Lyle? Is that you?

 
 

I rate for lime pie.

In the meat category, I lurves me shepherd’s pie .

——————-

I also rate for Curley and Larry Elvis and most of all, I rate for Jeffraham. I hope the move goes well, compadre!

 
 

he’ll make you post videos for every one of those bands, 80% of which he’s already seen play live.

I posted 4 videos. One was Bonnie Riatt covering It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue…which I’ve posted here. I thought the lyrics might be helpful.

And THREE videos of the The Who.
(1) Won’t Get Fooled Again Live at Shepperton studios 1978. This closed the show; it was the very last song drummer Keith Moon performed before his death.
(2) Won’t Get Fooled Again — Isolation on John Entwistle’s bass work during the perfomance.
(3) Entwistle’s solo (on 5:15 at Royal Albert Hall in 2000.

For a long time I’ve wanted to post that trio in Sadlyville, especially for Provider.

———

BBBB: Normally I would stay up and keep you company on the overnight shift. But I’ve got to catch some zzzz’s for a sunday expedition with my brother. Less than ten hours. Shouldn’t have made that last pot of coffee.

 
 

Oh, btw, I DID see The Who live. On their very first US tour. I was a senior in HS. I was close enough to the stage that I could see Pete Townsend had pimples.

 
 

Shit. As long as I’ve got the song links, I might as well put them up in Sadlytown. I can practice the Link-Text Alchemy … and it will provide BBBB 25 minutes of diversion.

(1) The Who playing Won’t Get Fooled Again [9:12]. Use this as a basis for understanding the musical context of Entwistle’s work. Also listen to how he drives the song: He’s playing lead on bass; Townsend is mostly playing power chords. ( Footnote: First laser lightshow at a rock venue.)

(2) Same song
Isolation on Entwistle
. [@ 9:15] Skip forward to [1:14] where the song begins.

(3) Entwistle <a href="
bass solo (on 5:15) [4:10] At Royal Albert, 2000
At least watch this one: excellent views of fingering and fretwork. Even includes a camera mounted on the instrument with a view down the neck!!

I gotta cash it in. G’night!

 
 

Fuck you WP !!!: The third link looked PERFECT in Preview; underlined blue text.

I’m not gonna try again. Here’ the link for Entwistle’s solo [4:10]

 
 

Bravo. You make some excellent points. Especially early on when you express relief at having won some difficult battles.

Unfortunately, the war against the newest winners in the battle against prejudice will not cease just because there are new laws on the books.

At the age of 67 I find myself fighting for the same territory I fought and won back in my youth. The right to control my own reproductive health: luckily I am no longer need birth control or the right to have an abortion, but my younger sisters are re-fighting that battle now even as we celebrate this newest victory for marriage equality.

Add the civil rights movement of the 60s to the list of battles we are re-fighting because there has been a re-birth of discriminatory voting laws.

In a battle we have never actually won, is the right of equal pay for equal work for women: all women including gay women and most likely gay men eventually.

Now that you have joined us oldsters in the trenches, we welcome you and will stand with you because that is what many people in my generation do. Labor Unions have been on the front line forever and sometimes we make headway and sometimes we are pushed backwards but we keep fighting.

The next time you see an event promoted by the AFL-CIO go and you will find 100 gray haired men and women who are veterans of every picket line and protest that you can imagine: some of those fights were violent and we got hurt or even died, but we are still out there and still standing. So for now be happy and celebrate, but be prepared because you will have to keep fighting until a new generation grows up to join your cause.

 
 

You should check out the schadenfreude pie recipe- it’s a chocolate pie with a hint of coffee flavor. I’ve never made one… seems dangerous.

i fergot that that was an actual recipe…and yes, that would be quite dangerous in my household…i have also latched on to something that is also very dangerous: true detective…hubbkf and i have had a marathon with the son this weekend…we completed episode five, so far…

sondra: thank you for fighting and for continuing the fight…

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Coffee is an essential ingredient in many chocolate concoctions. I keep instant coffee on hand for tjhay reason only – god knows I wouldn’t drink that shit.

 
 

Some extraordinary news.

[And the irony of some of it is so palpable you could probably pull it out of the air with a magnet.]

 
 

There’s even freeze dried espresso powder for that. KA sells it.

 
 

KA sells it.

Is that the Medaglia D’Oro brand? It’s not bad compared to the real thing.

Coffee is an essential ingredient in many chocolate concoctions.

Torani chocolate sauce is made for caffe mochas, you have to use hot milk or expresso/coffee because the sugar in it is solid form. I bought a bottle awhile back because it was being discontinued, and that was about 2 years ago. Thanks for reminding me of it, Pup.

 
 

When Rev. Fred Phelps arrives at the pearly gates, I’ll bet there’s going to be a great big welcoming committee waiting for him, made up entirely of soldiers whose funerals were picketed by his church…

 
 

Something like the conclusion of Mark Twains Letter to the Earth?:

Ah, heaven bless and keep you forever and ever, generous heart! There was not a dry eye in the realms of bliss; and amidst the hand-shakings, and embracings, and praisinqs, the decree was thundered forth from the shining mount, that this deed should outhonor all the historic self-sacrifices of men and angels, and be recorded by itself upon a page of its own, for that the Strain of it upon you had been heavier and bitterer than the strain it costs ten thousand martyrs to yield up their lives at the fiery stake; and all said, “What is the giving up of life, to a noble soul, or to ten thousand noble souls, compared with the giving up of fifteen dollars out of the greedy grip of the meanest white man that ever lived on the face of the earth?”

And it was a true word. And Abraham, weeping, shook out the contents of his bosom and pasted the eloquent label there, “RESERVED”: and Peter, weeping, said, “He shall be received with a torchlight procession when he comes”; and then all heaven boomed, and was glad you were going there. And so was hell.

[Signed]
THE RECORDING ANGEL [SEAL]
By command

 
 

Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
March 16, 2014 at 4:53

You should check out the schadenfreude pie recipe- it’s a chocolate pie with a hint of coffee flavor. I’ve never made one… seems dangerous.
For Pi Day celebration last year I made this pie and brought it into work (publisher who makes K-12 tests, I do science and math). It was a hit, worked well with some good ol’ vanilla ice cream.

Lurker recommended!

 
 

When Rev. Fred Phelps arrives at the pearly gates, I’ll bet there’s going to be a great big welcoming committee waiting for him, made up entirely of soldiers whose funerals were picketed by his church…

He’s going to find a huge rainbow flag draped across the threshold, with a big sign saying “GOD HATES NOBODY”. For Fred, this heaven will be a personal hell of his own making.

 
 

Hey, I wanted to thank Fenwick in a public forum for his/her work on VonFest over the weekend. The Zardoz topped 500 comments, which, if you are conversant, is kind of a big deal, especially while wearing bandoliers and hooker boots.

It was hilarious, and I am aware that Von felt especially moved that people she had never interacted with before felt like trying to help her out. In between her playing John Lennon’s guitar and smooching John Langford, I mean.

Fenwick gets a pass in the Zompocalypse. I will be forwarding the paperwork to Z.O.M.B.I.E this week.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

There are times when I wish there is a hell.

 
 

He’s going to find a huge rainbow flag draped across the threshold, with a big sign saying “GOD HATES NOBODY”. For Fred, this heaven will be a personal hell of his own making.

What makes you think he’s even GOING to heaven?

My only regret is that I don’t believe in an afterlife, so he will not face the repercussions he should for his hatred. Although it has been pointed out that his efforts have most likely resulted in a quicker pace of acceptance for homosexuality, so it does appear that the goddess Eiron has a lovely sense of humor.

 
 

Phelps & Co are so terrible other homophobes claim they must be liberal plants made to make honest homophobes look bad. But nope, Rev. Phelps is the real deal.

 
 

My only regret is that I don’t believe in an afterlife, so he will not face the repercussions he should for his hatred. Although it has been pointed out that his efforts have most likely resulted in a quicker pace of acceptance for homosexuality, so it does appear that the goddess Eiron has a lovely sense of humor.

You make your own hell, and Fred Phelps has certainly built himself a little empire out of some crazy garbage called homophobia.

 
 

New post.

 
 

The shorter: Quick, get Ross his EpiPen!

 
 

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