My new favorite Football (American style) Player

Michael Sam.

Take some names at the next level Dude. I will be rooting for you as I am sure will the entirety of the SadlyVerse™

Rock the show!!!

 

Comments: 400

 
 
 

Harkening back to the previous thread — I’m not sold on the Dennis-is-Bruce-Tinsley hypothesis, but I AM gonna strongly suggest we imagine him as Mallard Fillmore, the execrable comic-strip duck. Visualize, and respond as if. Lord knows you gotta make your own fun with that guy.

 
 

How many managers are there who will publicly tell their fans in 2014, “You know our team hasn’t been in the playoffs (or got stuffed in the playoff or got the snot beat out of them in the Super Bowl). But we’ll turn down an awesome middle-linebacker because he prefers kissing guys and maybe some of our other players are worried that he might be interested in them. The coaches and I won’t remind those players that they are under contract and if they don’t like they can enjoy months in court for breach of contract. And we plan to raise ticket prices next year just because we always do.” Frighteningly there are parts of the country where that won’t result in fans torching his car.
Where’s Branch Rickey when you need him?

 
 

Super Gay Bowl. It’s another liberal football player who is bigoted against hetrosexuals and conservatives and who wants to censor anyone who is just exercising his First Amendment rights by saying what he believes.

I don’t think this kind of thing is bringing American together. On the contrary, it’s tearing apart the bulging seams of American sport. Does this statement by Sam sound very tolerant? It’s the very definition of censorship: ” . . . I’m hopeful that my future teammates, many of whom once used their strength and intimidating physical stature to torment any of their peers whom they deemed weird or different, will respect me . . . ”

http://www.theonion.com/articles/michael-sam-hoping-sexuality-wont-be-issue-in-lock,35225/

 
 

Hm, fourteen comments, twelve of which are The Ongoing Slapfight. Guess I’ll check back later post-cleanup.

Also, Bateman has a great post on this topic over at Charlie Pierce’s place if you haven’t seen it.

 
 

Malcolm Smith: Super Bowl MVP for the Seattle Seahawks via Twitter:

Malcolm Smith ? @MalcSmitty
Follow
There is no room for bigotry in American sports. It takes courage to change the culture.

 
 

Also, Bateman has a great post on this topic over at Charlie Pierce’s place if you haven’t seen it.

i LOVE bateman…thanks to whoever brought him to my attention…

 
 

http://www.theonion.com/articles/michael-sam-hoping-sexuality-wont-be-issue-in-lock,35225/

heh…i think this is perhaps one of the onion’s bests efforts…sublime, yet making it’s point with a bit of humor…

 
 

It would be an utterly boneheaded move for the NFL if Michael Sam doesn’t get drafted. It is a shame that he will probably have to sign a contract for less than his athletic ability would get him if he were straight, since fewer teams will be bidding to sign him. Televised sport is merely a soap opera for people too butch to turn on “days of our lives”. Micheal Sam, sadly, just by being who he is, will generate controversy and drama. Some people idiots will claim that his presence in the locker room will be a distraction and keep the team from cohering as one integrated (homophobic) unit. This is unproven at best and horseshit at worst. Given that the NFL already tolerates widespread hazing and abuse of rookies as embodied by Richie Incognito, given that it gladly shelters serial alleged rapists like Ben Roethlisberger, given that it warmly welcomes convicted animal murderer Micheal Vick, it seems unimaginable that an out of the closet gay man, as opposed to the presumably dozens of closeted gay men already in the league, would disrupt what to the outside observer closely resembles a support group for America’s strongest and most violent (mostly) unconvicted millionaires.

 
 

so, i read somewhere today that the nfl is tax exempt…how could that be so?

 
 

Never thought I’d find something to like about John Elway. Color me surprised.

*He said he’d draft Michael Sam.

 
 

Also, Bateman has a great post on this topic over at Charlie Pierce’s place if you haven’t seen it.

He basically calls out the NFL for being squeamish about a gay football player years after gay soldiers etc. were accepted. That’s especially galling when you think of how the NFL tries to slurp up military-related goodwill with honor guards, flyovers, etc. at its games.

 
 

it seems unimaginable that an out of the closet gay man, as opposed to the presumably dozens of closeted gay men already in the league

What? Are you saying there could possibly be gay men in Sportsball now?!? UNPOSSIBLE! Only the manliest manly mens get to play Sportsball. The manliest mens, with their tight pants and their sweaty grunting and their grabbing and groping and piling on and then the warm steamy showering together afterward. NO GHEYS ALLOWED!

 
 

Where’s Branch Rickey when you need him?

Speaking of…I just watched 42 this weekend and highly recommend it if you haven’t already seen it. Harrison Ford plays Branch Rickey (The GM for the Dodgers [then Brooklyn] that drafted Jackie Robinson). His performance in it was fucking spectacular. All the other actors killed it as well. Very awesome movie.

Where’s Branch Rickey? Well, this isn’t quite the same thing–that was a far more controversial move back then, considering that Jackie Robinson was the first modern era black man in the Major Leagues, while it’s a well known fact that there are quite a few non-straight men who are playing or previously played in the NFL. The fact that this is a story that will die down after Sam is drafted and plays for a season sort of indicates that we’re much further along as a society than we were in 1946. (I know, duh).

Anyway, Sam will be drafted (defensive player of the year in the SEC is an honor probably only second to a Heisman Trophy), and he will draft high, I think.

 
 

The manliest mens

They spend tons of time at the gym.

GAY!!!!

 
 

so, i read somewhere today that the nfl is tax exempt…how could that be so?

Yep, they’re a “non profit” believe it or not.

 
 

That’s especially galling when you think of how the NFL tries to slurp up

MILITARY RELATED PENIS

 
 

The manliest mens, with their tight pants and their sweaty grunting and their grabbing and groping and piling on and then the warm steamy showering together afterward

i’ll be in my bunk…

 
 

so, i read somewhere today that the nfl is tax exempt…how could that be so?

That’s true to an extent. Owners of teams do pay taxes. The League Office itself is tax exempt under a rule that allows things like trade associations to be tax exempt. The controversy surrounding it is about the fact that the NFL league office is no such thing. It’s a business just like all the other big businesses with friends in the right places.

 
 

Still nym-jackery on this thread.

Fixed, now please stop encouraging each other.

 
 

It took a lot of bravery to come out here and admit your biases and prejudices have been completely wrong about those who disgust you, Pupienus.

Apparently I missed something. I presume it was regarding my continuing general dislike of Elway now allowing him one redeeming feature.

But what I want to talk about is how the loudest voices focus on the team locker rooms, the team showers, just like with DADT. Notice how no one cares about the team growers. How telling.

 
 

Sorry! I repent! I recant! I refudiate!

 
 

That’s true to an extent. Owners of teams do pay taxes. The League Office itself is tax exempt under a rule that allows things like trade associations to be tax exempt. The controversy surrounding it is about the fact that the NFL league office is no such thing. It’s a business just like all the other big businesses with friends in the right places.

yeah…just googled it…they are a 501 (c) (6)…

 
 

yeah…just googled it…they are a 501 (c) (6)…

Also remember that professional sports in general are a cesspool of corporate welfare and backroom deals, tax evasion, special statuses…owned by 1%ers who insist that their clients pay for their stadiums.

And they’re only half as crooked and sleazy as the NCAA.

 
 

SHUT YOUR QUACKHOLE, MALLARD

 
 

Notice how no one cares about the team growers. How telling.

There’s a growers vs. show-ers (not showers) angle to this? Why do I ask, I don’t need to know. PENIS info on need-to-know basis: check the box, or no?

Mostly unrelated: has anyone watched An Idiot Abroad? Up until now, I haven’t gotten into Ricky Gervais’s let’s-make-fun-of-dumb-Karl obsession. But the first two episodes of An Idiot Abroad were lotsa fun.

Episode two (India) features one of the most alarming moments I’ve ever seemed filmed, with no warning whatsoever. I don’t wanna spoil it. Let’s just say that all poor Karl could do was blurt out something about the Elephant Baba “abusing his knob and bollocks.”

The E.B. seems to have made himself into a show-er, the better to emulate Ganesh, as if his disfigurement is not enough. But I’ve said too much, dammit.

 
 

Mostly unrelated: has anyone watched An Idiot Abroad?

i am a huge fan of all ricky gervais related things…

 
 

Mostly unrelated: has anyone watched An Idiot Abroad?

Yeah, totally loved it. The HBO “Ricky Gervais Show” is hilarious too. Basically Ricky, Karl, and the tall guy talking and making fun of Karl’s antics, all animated to illustrate it and add to the hilarity.

 
 

A clip in case you don’t feel like clicking…

Philip Seymour Hoffman’s death is a reminder, though, that addiction is indiscriminate. That it is sad, irrational and hard to understand. What it also clearly demonstrates is that we are a culture that does not know how to treat its addicts. Would Hoffman have died if this disease were not so enmeshed in stigma? If we weren’t invited to believe that people who suffer from addiction deserve to suffer? Would he have OD’d if drugs were regulated, controlled and professionally administered? Most importantly, if we insisted as a society that what is required for people who suffer from this condition is an environment of support, tolerance and understanding.

The troubling message behind Philip Seymour Hoffman’s death, which we all feel without articulating, is that it was unnecessary and we know that something could be done. We also know what that something is and yet, for some traditional, prejudicial, stupid reason we don’t do it.

 
 

Already read it, tsam, and I have nothing to add, but that Russell Brand has emerged as a thoughtful and forceful voice, one I appreciate. Unless perhaps I’m forgetting something — he has said alot in recent years.

 
 

Those … whattaya call ’em Italian Pierogie/dumpling/kreplach/things … ravioli, that’s it, are on the slate for Thursday. Good news is you pick up two hours getting here. Bad news is since Teh Ho is going in at 5:30 these days we aren’t eating quite late as is our wont.

I have in front of me a bowl of risotto left over from last night. I had made some chicken sausage with roasted garlic so it went into the squtternut buash risotto. Fabulous.

 
 

but that Russell Brand has emerged as a thoughtful and forceful voice, one I appreciate

I agree. This essay addresses a peeve of mine. 2, actually.

1–people who use alcohol have problems with people who use any other drug. Unacceptable. The stigma attached to addicts is a fucking sad commentary on our condescending, egocentric nature as a society.

2–The War on Drugs. Epic FAIL.

 
 

Thanks for the link tsam. Russel Brand is a thoughtful voice that all too many people find easy to ignore. Even when he is wrong, (as in his advice to young people to not vote) I think his error comes from the right place, with the right objective even if I don’t agree with the means.
I think that the drug war, is a ‘something for everyone’ government program which will be quite a bit harder to shut down than it was to start. Given that it is an entire federal bureaucracy’s reason for existence, the DEA is not going to be happy to see it go away. Neither will the FBI, the INS, ONDCP, the Coast Guard and countless state and municipal police departments and private prisons grown fat from the seizure revenue. The CIA will mourn its loss as the drug economy is a shopping mall of illicit money, illicit arms, snitches, thugs, and addicts. It is an easy source of off the books funding and the gateway to the skilled trades and easily blackmailed dupes that make their nasty little job easier. It is a wildly convenient scapegoat for the cheap moralizing of America’s virtue vultures. It is a means of social control happily abused by authoritarians nationwide.

 
 

wait…are we talking about russell brand the comedian? because thoughtful is something that does not associate…

 
 

wait…are we talking about russell brand the comedian? because thoughtful is something that does not associate…

Oh he’s a plenty smart guy. I remember being surprised by the depth and sophistication of his essay in the Guardian on Thatcher’s death. It’s just that, like many comedians, he has this goofball persona that tends to hide his brains.

 
 

It is a means of social control happily abused by authoritarians nationwide.

It is, but I think the walls are beginning to crumble. Even those psychotic NOC operatives have moved on to money laundering and bank fraud.

 
 

tsam, in all candor, you’re quite literally one of the stupidest persons who comments here. I often feel as if I may have to adjust your saline drip.

Yeah, he’s so dumb he spends all his time on a blog where he’s not welcome, everyone despises him, and his comments are deleted within hours.

 
 

wait…are we talking about russell brand the comedian? because thoughtful is something that does not associate…

I have heard some pretty intellectual and bright things from him. Listening to him, however, can be like nails down a chalkboard. Squeaky voiced-Brits are no fun.

I’m more of a Lewis Black admirer. He’s certainly not breaking any new intellectual ground, but he is funny and pretty smart.

 
 

tsam, in all candor, you’re quite literally one of the stupidest persons who comments here. I often feel as if I may have to adjust your saline drip.

This actually comes as a compliment from a snarky right wing duck in a fedora.

 
 

Ok. Sorry.

 
 

Wow. http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/drag-queen-ireland-gay-rights-debate Watch the oration. Wow.

Mayor DeBlasio has indicated that he won’t be participating in NYC’s St Patrick’s Day parade because of the AOH’s stance on the participation of gay people.

Tragically, before the internet era, a local radio station played a spoof called “You Can’t Be Irish if You’re Gay”. I don’t remember the entirety of the song, but the chorus was:

You can be falling down drunk, or blowing up chunks,
But you can’t be Irish if you’re gay!

 
 

Pay no attention to the man behind the cretin, here’s the song. Thanks, internet!

 
 

You can be falling down drunk, or blowing up chunks,
But you can’t be Irish if you’re gay!

If I had any talent – or more aptly, actual motivation, I’ll use lack of talent as the excuse – I’d write a similar spoof that you can be in the NFL if you’re a convicted felon but not if you’re gay.

 
 

rush weighs in heh…on michael sam…

commenter claims: I’d rather watch dogs vomit for 12 minutes than listen to that repulsive tub of guts

 
 

almost forgot: hey MAJOR…RAVIOLI AT PUP’S ON THURSDAY, OKAY?

 
 

Would Hoffman have died if this disease were not so enmeshed in stigma? If we weren’t invited to believe that people who suffer from addiction deserve to suffer? Would he have OD’d if drugs were regulated, controlled and professionally administered? Most importantly, if we insisted as a society that what is required for people who suffer from this condition is an environment of support, tolerance and understanding.

But-but-but then some takers would get a benefit they didn’t deserve and society would break down! Next you’ll want us to take care of the disabled and the damaged, and then everybody will act disabled or damaged and there will be nobody left to do the work but John Galt and where will you be THEN, moonbats?!?

 
 

But-but-but then some takers would get a benefit they didn’t deserve and society would break down! Next you’ll want us to take care of the disabled and the damaged, and then everybody will act disabled or damaged and there will be nobody left to do the work but John Galt and where will you be THEN, moonbats?!?

Just a guess, but I think we would be sharpening the pitchforks and looking hungrily towards Galt’s Gulch.

 
 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 
 

READ THE WHOLE THING LIBTARDS

I DID AND I WAS PLEASANTLY SURPRISED, THANKYOUVERYMUCH…

 
 

READ THE WHOLE THING LIBTARDS

I did. I already agreed with him, though. Partly thanks to my mom, who expressed a remarkably similar opinion 40+ years ago. Addiction is a medical problem, and needs to be treated by experts. Prohibition of alcohol enabled “organized crime” to get well entrenched in the US, and (other) illegal drugs have allowed it to continue to flourish. There is also our prison-industrial complex, similarly fed with the bodies of those without the right connections.

 
 

who expressed a remarkably similar opinion 40+ years ago.

a couple of commenters over there said he has the same view of drugs as the nra does of guns…

 
 

I don’t think anyone else is confused.

 
 

i would argue that some among us are very confused…it must be hard to keep so many personas straight…

 
 

a couple of commenters over there said he has the same view of drugs as the nra does of guns…

Which made no sense to me. Classing drug addiction as a medical condition, meaning the people doing the treating have to be registered (!!) and licensed (!!1!!!) and otherwise controlled, and the drugs having to meet known standards of purity doesn’t seem to be very like the NRA’s attitude of NO!!! controls of any sort.

Of course, the first commenter there was of the opinion that we just need more enforcement and prison time. Because that’s been working so well, I suppose…

 
 

I humbly suggest the following:

North American Man-Boy Football Association (NAMBFA).

The American-style football issue is clarified right there in the name.

 
 

I am by no means certain that the author of DaffyDoodle is Denny’s but it would not only be irresponsible to avoid speculation, it would be irresponsible not to ad Tinsley the fourth to the wheel house.

Got conformation on another Thursday visit to Vallhalla…wooooohoooo. Pics of the Tesla and more of the room will follow.

Michael Sam is a fucking Mensch! I look forward to his first sack in th NFL.

 
 

Of course, the first commenter there was of the opinion that we just need more enforcement and prison time. Because that’s been working so well, I suppose…

yeah, 10-20 for dealing weed? especially larfable when murderers can get off scot-free…

 
 

Michael Sam is a fucking Mensch! I look forward to his first sack in th NFL.

but is he a mensch of pupienus or b^4’s status?

 
 

So the NRA thinks gun addiction is a disease that needs professional treatment? I might have to agree with the NRA on that.

 
 

I look forward to his first sack in th NFL.

I’ll bet he does too LOLOLOLOLOL

 
 

But-but-but then some takers would get a benefit they didn’t deserve and society would break down!

As opposed to now…society is in perfect shape. No addicts anywhere. Also, too, conservative humpwits is always on about how morals are declining everywhere, America is a cesspool of gay sex and Harry Potter movies and we’re all going to hell and that’s why we have earthquakes and tornadoes and women driving in NASCAR OMFG. So how is it that treating addiction as it is instead of as a character flaw going to make it any worse? What the fuck do them chumps care nohow? They’re all going to disappear when the rapture comes, so why not hurry it along? Heaven awaits. Unless you listen to Slayer, in which case HELL AWAITS.

I may have digressed a bit. #sorrynotsorry

 
 

but is he a mensch of pupienus or b^4?s status?

Yep. 🙂

The pride parade will precede the season, and a pride parade will accompany it.

 
 

Hey tsam, keep me posted on your travels this side of the mountains to see your daughter. If you’re interested I’ll see if I can set up a jam with friends.

Can’t let the Indianans have all the fun. No promises of Marshall stacks or Teslas (my musical friends are all broke-ass like most musicians) but it’ll be a good time.

 
 

OMFG. DO NOT CLICK.

Wrnog on so many many many levels and yet that multilayered horribleness still pales in the face of the just plain awfulness.

 
 

OMFG. DO NOT CLICK.

OMFG…WHY DIDN’T I LISTEN?!?

that is fucking horrible…from the larry king intro…to…well, i only got 1:32 in before i got the hell out…

 
 

thaaaat was me…

 
 

You can be falling down drunk, or blowing up chunks,
But you can’t be Irish if you’re gay!

To quote two lines of dialog from “The Guard”,
‘Are there gay lads in the IRA?’
‘Well it was the only way we could successfully infiltrate the MI5.’

At that point in the movie I shouted out “It’s Sodom and Begorrah!” and the Frau Doktorin started hitting me.

 
 

At that point in the movie I shouted out “It’s Sodom and Begorrah!” and the Frau Doktorin started hitting me.

That, sir, was a terrible pun.

Thank you.

And I would have hissed.

 
 

So… apparently I ended my addendum during my last post a little too early. Apparently they just wanted to dick her around a bit more because going “oh, are we only turning against your clear qualifications when it was clear you were one of those filthy disabled people” apparently tripped the “I’m a clever dick” setting that bigots apparently have where they poorly try and cover it up with half-invented “other reasons” even though they know the only way they’re getting away with it is because it’s near impossible to sue for discrimination in this country.

Shorter end point, they had her quit from her previous job on short notice and call her in with the promise of work the same day only to immediately turn her away when she arrived and say, nope, psych, we didn’t actually want to hire you after all based on…

Apparently their new totally not about being disabled and totally because she was a failure reason of she didn’t fulfill a prerequisite and that just “raised too many issues”, or rather she did, but she didn’t do it fast enough. Even though the prerequisite was a random non-accessible test that wasn’t mentioned in previous phone calls and meetings and something she finished the morning after she received the email with no due date about it, because she received it super late on Saturday night and wasn’t going in for this first day meeting thing until Tuesday. So, early Sunday morning. This was apparently just proof that her evil gossiping bus riding ways would lead the company to ruin.

Which… whatever, I mean, yeah, the dark unholy truth of the failure of modern capitalism is that worker’s rights are so non-existent and the economy is so bad that company’s no longer really need to hide their dick moves or the fact that they staff themselves more based on nepotism and bigotry than qualifications.

But I think the part that really bugs me is the pantomime and song-and-dance of pretense. That last little bit of gaslighting one receives as a discriminated against worker before the inevitable takes shape. Where sudden important issues crop up suddenly and then are immediately dropped for everyone else or where rules seem inconsistently or stupidly applied.

I mean, fuck, businesses, you won, we have no rights and those of us on the bottom end of the ladder can be eliminated because of your personal prejudices or worries about the “bottom line”.

So could you please have the decency to actually fucking be honest and admit to what might as well be neon highlighted in your actions?

It would make swallowing this disempowering shit way easier to handle.

Anyways, tonight’s probably going to mostly involve cuddle-therapy for my shell-shocked sweetie. Will try and finish the new post tomorrow. It’s going to be mm, mm, child molestery.

 
 

Shoot forgot to include the line noting this is about my girlfriend’s attempted first day at the job that was dicking her around about her being disabled in the paperwork signing.

 
 

What the fuck, isn’t this a nonprofit? You’d think they wouldn’t have people clambering to work for them doing crisis intervention.

Look at it this way…if they’re going to dick around like this in the hiring process it’s a fucked-up organization that she’d end up miserable in anyway. Better in a way to get it out now.

 
 

Also, other Seattle Sadly musicians are invited.

 
 

To the hypothetical jam, I mean.

 
 

Shit, I’m so sorry.

Could we know the name of the place so we know who to avoid?

 
 

Shorter end point, they had her quit from her previous job on short notice and call her in with the promise of work the same day 

Well, shitfuckdamn. Also, what Whale Chowder said, though that’s cold comfort. I hope she finds a good job, working for good people, not those sad simulacra. And soon, of course.

 
 

Just wanted to say I like this: READ THE WHOLE THING LIBTARDS.

Best comment in a while. Maybe add to the end?

 
 

Argh, add, doh, tm to the end.

 
 

Oh, and that Sam clip up top is way gay. I think those shows are popular on Saturdays and Sundays and perhaps Monday evenings on the TV but I’m not gay so I don’t watch. Seems to involve a lot of buff guys doing line dancing in stadiums or something like that. I READ THE WHOLE THING LIBTARDS!

 
 

Sweet IPU, that’s fucking bullshit. Agree too that holy crap , if the place has assholes like these making hiring decisions, the day to day there must be some crazy ass fucking terribleness.

Here’s hoping things turn around.

 
 

wc is right, cerb…that place sounds pretty fucked up and she’s better off without it, but that doesn’t negate the fact that she left her previous job and now has nothing…but you know, business owners have feelings and rights too! at least that is what i’m being told by a friend who is majorly up in arms over the hobby lobby ‘we refuse to pay for insurance that pays for abortion pills!!!’…today she has given me a link to an article about how awesome the family that owns hobby lobby is…written by the one and only michelle malkin…

 
 

Hey tsam, keep me posted on your travels this side of the mountains to see your daughter. If you’re interested I’ll see if I can set up a jam with friends.

ROGER THAT.

The next daughter is going to Portland this year for the culinary school, so that should increase my travels through the area.

 
 

At that point in the movie I shouted out “It’s Sodom and Begorrah!” and the Frau Doktorin started hitting me.

That was AWESOME.

 
 

Oh joy. I have a head cold. And on my days off no less.

 
 

Oh joy. I have a head cold. And on my days off no less.

Sounds like someone needs a hot toddy, and don’t be stingy with the whisky!

Fenwick, “Stingy with the Whisky” for next BotB

 
 

The next daughter is going to Portland this year for the culinary school, so that should increase my travels through the area.

Erm, ummm, pretty sure I’m out of town that weekend….

We will go food carting, m’boy! Alcohol may make an appearance.

 
 

Erm, ummm, pretty sure I’m out of town that weekend….

WHAT. EVER.

YES–I do like food and alcohol. So let’s make it happen.

 
 

AAAAAAAAAARGH! i hate adobe…

 
 

The fact is, queers are an abomination against God and America and the NFL, which is all the same thint! Any team with drafts this queee should change its colors to froo-froo pink. Football wont be America’s game anymore when all the teams switch to pastel unidorns. Queees aren’t good playing ball games.

Also, the Wahington Redskins will always keep there name! Also Cleveland will never give up there cartoon. The grinning Injun makes me laugh butt liberals have no sense of hummor.

 
 

queeeeeeeeeee!

 
 

BBBB: I likes it! Most definitely goes into the band. You can also look for Hate Adobe. (Indigenous Americans group with bad attitudes and a chip on their shoulders about lies, broken treaties, and disease-ridden blankets.)

 
 

AAAAAAAAAARGH! i hate adobe…

You building a house in Santa Fe?

 
 

butt liberals have no sense of hummor

Betcha Pup and the Ho have a great sense of hummor!

 
 

i will submit: butt liberals and the soft-punk mouth band ‘hummor’

 
 

You building a house in Santa Fe?

that would be easier than creating this freaking document!!!

 
 

Build it in Albuquerque! Margaritas! Enchiladas! Mountains! Fenwick!

 
 

More BotB contestants:

soft-punk mouth band
Build it in Albuquerque!
Margaritas! Enchiladas! Mountains! Fenwick!

 
 

Margaritas! Enchiladas! Mountains! Fenwick!

Reminds me of Boricua, morena, Dominicano, Colombiano

 
 

Apropos of nothing in particular, but I was wandering about the internets accompanied by no one but my cat (and she was sleeping) when I found this comment

Happenstance

• 17 hours ago

?

This is the new American Dream. It’s no longer about Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness; it’s about getting the power to deprive others of same. It’s precisely the sort of thinking that is employed by playground bullies, who have no interest in the slide other than preventing their helpless victim from enjoying it.

on this post: http://alicublog.blogspot.com/2014/02/goldberg-gets-results.html

Bolds mine.

 
 

bbkf: Both are definitely candidates, imo!

I only read the most recent dozen comments while drinking my coffee, (I read the earlier part of the thread last night.) If a dozen comments opened a vein of band names, I imagine the earlier comments must be chock full of ’em. I better get cracking!

 
 

Battle-O-the-Bands

 
 

Shit! Hit wrong button!

 
 

on this post: http://alicublog.blogspot.com/2014/02/goldberg-gets-results.html

spaghetti lee gets off a good one:

Jonah Goldberg cries
‘People may give up hard work!’
Irony lies dead.

 
 

Build it in Albuquerque!

Maybe I shouldn’t have made that left turn at Albuquerque….

 
 

BBBB: Latinas muy caliente!
bbkf: Ooooo. We haven’t had a hiaku / poetry jam in while…

 
 

does anybody ever really ‘enjoy’ a verizon ringback tone?

 
 

Latest Erick “The Human Hamster” Erickson rant: Obama will never be impeached because reporters are a bunch of faggy-fag-fags.

 
 

BBBB: Latinas muy caliente!

Por sopuesto!

I actually saw Nina Sky perform at a “Run Hit Wonder” event in Central Park. It was a 10K run beginning with a concert by The Donnas and ending with a concert by Joan Jett. I was pretty aroused for the entire course of the run. I don’t like running… I typically only run a tab. I don’t like running to the extent that I decided I’d rather practice fighting than running. Joan Jett? Totally worth running for.

As a postscript, I just learned that one of the twins in Nina Sky came out as a lesbian. I guess they are the Puerto Rican answer to Tegan and Sara.

 
 

butt liberals have no sense of hummor

Betcha Pup and the Ho have a great sense of hummor!

Indeed.

 
 

This is the new American Dream. It’s no longer about Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness; it’s about getting the power to deprive others of same. It’s precisely the sort of thinking that is employed by playground bullies, who have no interest in the slide other than preventing their helpless victim from enjoying it.

QFT

 
 

Betcha Pup and the Ho have a great sense of hummor!

I bet they have an even better sense of hummus.

 
 

Battle-O-the-Bands

Next Level Dude
Comic-Strip Duck
Branch Rickey
Ongoing Slapfight
Too Butch
Be a Distraction
Unconvicted Millionaires
Manliest Manly Men
Sportsball
Need-to-Know
Make Fun of Dumb
Emulate Ganesh
Roasted Garlic
Fat From the Seizure
Virtue Vultures
Abused by Authoritarians
Hide His Brains
Sharpening the Pitchforks
Visit to Vallhalla
Sodom and Begorrah
Clever Dick
No Due Date
Gossiping Bus
Might As Well Be Neon
Shell-Shocked Sweetie
Simulacra
Stingy with the Whiskey
Hate Adobe
Butt Liberals
Queee
Build It in Albuquerque
Soft-Punk Mouth Band
No One But My Cat
Wrong Button
Run a Tab

 
 

i will submit: butt liberals and the soft-punk mouth band ‘hummor’

The more pervy among us are beginning to notice a pattern here. Never stop.

 
 

Jordan Davis, the unarmed teenager who was fatally shot over a dispute about loud music “didn’t stand a chance,” prosecutors said today during closing arguments in the Michael Dunn trial.

Dunn, 47, is charged with fatally shooting Davis, 17, in the parking lot of a Jacksonville convenience store on Nov. 23, 2012, after an argument over loud music.

Assistant State Attorney Erin Wolfson told jurors that Dunn “fired round after round after round” at Davis and his friends. She said Davis was inside the SUV when he was killed. Dunn claims the teen exited the vehicle.

“It was target practice for this defendant. They had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide,” Wolfson said.

She showed jurors photos of the bullet-ridden red SUV, where she said Davis was sitting in the backseat when he was fatally hit with three bullets.

So, I normally have no use for the death penalty, but I’m gonna hafta go ahead and make an exception here. You kill children, you should die.

 
 

So, I normally have no use for the death penalty, but I’m gonna hafta go ahead and make an exception here. You kill children, you should die.

Nah, life in prison, with a constant “thug music” soundtrack blasting in his cell.

 
 

Nah, life in prison, with a constant “thug music” soundtrack blasting in his cell.

You’re right, but I’m angry enough to pull the trigger on this fuck myself. This is just bullshit. I’m sick of kids getting murdered and all the fucking sympathy the murderers get when the kids aren’t white.

 
 

No, really? I’m shocked. Really shocked.

 
 

Bud Konheim, Nicole Miller CEO, says the U.S. poverty level is wealth in most of the world, so people should stop complaining.

When I was young and idealistic, I believed that we’d help the developing world improve the lot of its citizens, not that we’d wholeheartedly join in on a race to the bottom.

 
 

You know, no buttbreath NRA doofus will ever admit it, but I’m about to drop some knowledge here, kids. Pay attention.

The single biggest threat to gun rights is these senseless murders of children. Those are the things that will get enough people so angry that they will force their representation to do something about it besides wring their hands and take the side of the psychos that dream of the day they get to gun down a thug in the streets and be a hero to the other psychos who dream of the day they get to gun down a thug in the streets.

They can point at us mushy, sissy liberals all they want, but they’d best be advised. Their own kind are the reason we don’t want fucking guns anywhere but out hunting, on a gun range, and locked up in a fucking safe.

 
 

Cerb: It is sad that the job was jerked away from yer sweetie a second time. That is a brutal emotional rollercoaster for anyone: Way UP …. Way DOWN … Way UP … Way DOWN.

Is there any possibility she could return to her previous place of employment and beg for her old job? Or be the First Call there if a job opens up?

 
 

not that we’d wholeheartedly join in on a race to the bottom

Until the 80s, elevating everyone was the goal. We could eradicate preventable diseases, eradicate famine, educate the entire world…

Guess what happens then…? FAR FEWER FUCKING WARS AND GENOCIDE CAMPAIGNS.

That would be cool. But it’s gotten steadily worse since 1980 and will continue to do so.

 
 

Online trolls are just “everyday sadists,” according to new paper

I’m quite sure that some, our resident troll as example, are masochists.

 
 

I enjoy a good bit of trolling every now and then. I might be a bit sadistic, but that’s usually pointed inward.

 
 

The single biggest threat to gun rights is these senseless murders of children.

Tragically, it only counts if it’s white children getting killed and, even then, it doesn’t count much, as the post “Sandy Hook” inaction proved.

 
 

ROGER THAT

I’ll leave the rogering to our Portland friends.

 
 

butt liberals

Reminds me of why “butt-pirate” does not sting. I like ladies’ butts and I fantasize about being a pirate (some ways more than others). For an insult to work best it should not bring to mind all kinds of awesome scenarios.

 
 

The difference between a good Christian and a good Christian conservative is that a good Christian conservative believes that the 2nd amendment supersedes the 6th commandment.

 
 

Reminds me of why “butt-pirate” does not sting. I like ladies’ butts and I fantasize about being a pirate (some ways more than others). For an insult to work best it should not bring to mind all kinds of awesome scenarios.

“Arrr… in your case, you can sit on the plank!”

 
 

I just read in a rather dubious book about pirates that walking the plank was not a thing, really, or much of a thing. Author sez only one captain was known to have ordered it, and he sounds like not much of a captain. More like a wannabe that bought a ship.

Makes sense to me, since if you wanted somebody to walk off the ship and die, you would not need a plank. You could walk em off the side, or off one of the many things that project from the silhouette of a sailing ship.

 
 

Tragically, it only counts if it’s white children getting killed and, even then, it doesn’t count much, as the post “Sandy Hook” inaction proved.

Stalin supposedly said that one death is a tragedy, but a million deaths are just a statistic. I guess our native gun culture has defined that threshold down to 26.

 
 

CRA: Next you’ll be telling us that pirates actually spent their gold on goods and services instead of burying it.

 
 

Bitter Scribe — that’s an easy one. They did both. Ya don’t need a Piratologist to tell you that.

Imagine seizing too much treasure to hold in several ships. Holy fuck. I thought half a million piece-of-eight was alot until I read about millions in a single haul.

 
 

Online trolls are just “everyday sadists,” according to new paper

Says the WaPo,
In yet another instance of science belatedly confirming what common sense has already told us
— “Yet another instance of feckin’ confirmation bias” is shorter and more accurate.

trolling correlated with higher rates of sadism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism, a certain lack of scruples when it comes to deceiving or manipulating other people

More precisely, “trolling correlated with higher scores on checklists put together by bored psychologists (and accepted in the literature because they are internally consistent, not because of any real-world validity).” No actual observations of sadism or psychopathy or Machiavellianism were involved in the making of this paper.

To put it another way… people who like to troll on the Intertubes also like to tick the obviously-wrong boxes on random checklists, out of sheer assholery. No-one could possibly have predicted that!

 
 

Bud Konheim, Nicole Miller CEO, says the U.S. poverty level is wealth in most of the world, so people should stop complaining.

Christ, as if super-rich people aren’t the whiniest damn motherfuckers on the planet. Oh noes I said something mean about richies? OMG IT’S KRISTALLNACHT.

 
 

I shoulda wrote “booty.” Imagine seizing too much booty, etc.

 
 

Bud Konheim, Nicole Miller CEO, says the U.S. poverty level is wealth in most of the world, so people should stop complaining.

I thought the war on poverty was a failure? Sounds like it worked pretty darn well if that’s the case.

 
 

OBS: The next time you have a Volunteer Public Works shift, you should make sure to send the link [22:27]–and its full text–to the under-the-bridge creature(s).

————

Personally, I don’t think there is much harm in limited trolling, though I don’t do it myself (mostly because I hate registering at a site).

I’ve seen any number of Sadly nyms in reichwing Comments. In my observation, these forays seem like swift, precise raids conducted by expert commandos. Pick the stupidest, most hypocritical, most misinformed Comment … then empty the wit clip, toss a few sarcastic grenades, rig some C4 Reality Demolitions …and disappear back into the hills.

(((Out of curiosity, do Sadlies ever organize a multiple, simultaneous strike at some particularly offensive target? That might be tremendous fun.)))

Extended firefights tend to be boring, imo. The reichwing entrenchments have no Reality ammo, and must rely on the only weapons in their arsenal: predictable Fox arguments, poorly improvised ad hominem devices (PIAHD), anecdotal evidence, and Anger Gas. Lots of Anger Gas. Lots and lots and lots of Anger Gas.

(((Ooooooo! Fenwick generates some nifty band names!)))

But Sadlytown-based forays for grins and giggles are quite different from the resident creature(s) obsessions. Imo, OBS’s link shines some light under the Bridge. I think many residents and visitors have long suspected as much; it is gratifying there is some scientific basis for such suppositions.

IOBS’s link [22:23] is required reading for all Sadlies.

 
 

See also Smut’s comment at 23:11.

 
 

Some trolls claim they only say bigoted things to get a rise out of people, but they’re probably just closet-bigots as well as sadists. We should go back to when trolling was saying stuff like “Chewbacca is my favorite Star Trek character”.

On jobs: I think Obama should point out ACA allows mothers to quit or cut down their hours so they can raise their children. No Republican would attack stay-home moms hahahaha of course they would, they only like rich stay-home moms like Ann Romney, otherwise stay-home moms are lazy welfare cheats.

 
 

people who like to troll on the Intertubes also like to tick the obviously-wrong boxes on random checklists

Hmm. Nowadays we are inundated with marketing surveys and checklists and stuff. It’s perfectly OK to screw up alot of this data collection. I guess that’s somewhat like trolling the companies involved, but there are better words for it. I never mess with data collection that I believe in.

But forget the structured data. I would be more gratified if some corporate stooge or police-state drone had to pore over my free-form, freely-given online verbiage. Make sense of that in terms of some narrow agenda. I’d like to hear transcripts read aloud in court. That’d be a hoot.

 
 

I like ladies’ butts and I fantasize about being a pirate (some ways more than others).

SURRENDER THE BOOTY!!

(arrrrrr)

 
 

ACA allows mothers to quit or cut down their hours so they can raise their children.

Debate seems to have focussed on the more anodyne relationships, i.e. “grandparents will have more time to spend with their grandkids”. This was immediately countered with the response that “grandparents will have less money to buy birthday presents for their grandkids” (presents being a higher priority).

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Ticking the wrong box…

 
 

via the CDC

Mortality

All homicides
•Number of deaths: 16,259
•Deaths per 100,000 population: 5.3

Firearm homicides
•Number of deaths: 11,078
•Deaths per 100,000 population: 3.6

That should be enough to get some motion on the issue.

 
 

Smitty, ya borked the link. Well, WP borked it for you because WP doesn’t like it when you omit the quaint, archaic, everywhere else in Teh Intarducts superflous, “http://” prefix.

alicublog.blogspot.com/2014/02/goldberg-gets-results.html

 
 

Fuck, I forgot to add it myself. You all know how to copy and paste the lunk into the address bar for PENIS’ sake so just fucking do it already and quit bitching.

 
 

Says the WaPo,
In yet another instance of science belatedly confirming what common sense has already told us
– “Yet another instance of feckin’ confirmation bias” is shorter and more accurate.

Saith the t’sam:

When you hear the term “common sense”, you must do 2 things: 1) Duck, flying bullshit is coming your way, and 2) grab your wallet and hang on for dear life.

 
 

That should be enough to get some motion on the issue.

T’sam made a funny.

 
 

You know what’s cool about youtube? I’ll tell you what’s cool about it. Right now I’m on a nostalgic trip through my teen years–Bad Brains, The Cramps, Dead Kennedys, Bauhaus, The Cure…

The shit is ALL THERE. I love it.

 
 

t’sam said

Why can’t I be you?

 
 

Speaking of trolling, won’t someone think of poor Shia Labeouf?

 
 

What is a Jerry O’Connell? What is a Shia LeBoeuf and why should I care?

 
 

OMG. You missed Shia-gate? Dude was caught out plagiarizing left, right and centre. Then when he apologized, he plagiarized his apology. And then he “quit” being “famous” under the hashtag, and I shit you not, #stopcreating.

 
 

What is a hashtag? Why should I care?

 
 

Oh. I just thought you might have gotten a kick out of laughing at some delusional self-important asshole. This is still Sadly, No! right?

 
 

Besides, the only PENIS link I got right now is a rapping 14 year old Justin Bieber, and no one needs that.

 
 

I remember when there were no hashtags. “Oh, what’s that?” It could’ve been cooler. Fuckin’ kids these days.

 
 

A time before hashtags?!?! #DoubleInterrobangAbuse #HowOldAreYouAnyways

 
 

Yeah # was pounds, or number sign. Hash was better, sans tag. But in my day, oz. was not “lids” I regret to say. (Always wondered about that one. These lids, what did they cover? I’d ask the Fab. Furry Freak Bros. but in this day-n-age who knows what’d be summoned. Feh.)

 
 

Rest your quackhole, Mallard. There will be many dire concerns to emit on the morrow.

 
 

Battle-O-the-Bands

I admit to selecting a bunch of Fenwick-generated names; I was on a roll in one comment. Also, I always try to find some high-school garage-band names, e.g. ‘Awesome Scenarios’. Btw, ‘Lids’ is a cover band. A stoned cover band.

Psychos Who Dream
Awesome Scenarios
Preventable Diseases
Everyday Sadists
Resident Troll
Sit on the Plank
Project From the Silhouette
Piratologist
Higher Scores
Bored Psychologists
Random Checklists
Too Much Booty
Empty the Wit Clip
Sarcastic Grenades
Reality Demolitions
No Reality Ammo
Ad Hominem Devices
Anecdotal Evidence
Anger Gas
Lazy Welfare Cheats
Surrender the Booty
Omit the Quaint
Paste the Lunk
Get Some Motion
Hash Was Better
Lids

 
 

It’s good to be a Luddite.

 
 

So, I normally have no use for the death penalty, but I’m gonna hafta go ahead and make an exception here. You kill children, you should die.

Nah, life in prison, with a constant “thug music” soundtrack blasting in his cell.

Capital punishment is one of the issues on which I’ve slowly–very slowly–changed my opinion over the decades. I used to be for it, if narrowly-applied to horrific crimes (e.g. Oklahoma City). But I’ve slowly changed my opinion to complete opposition.

Instead, I’ve imagined what I call ‘unusual’ punishment for such horrific murderers. Except for ‘lights-out’ periods, the convicted killer’s cell would have pictures of his victims projected constantly on the walls and ceiling. Changing slide shows. Videos. Let the killer spend the rest of his life surrounded by images of his or her victims. Example: McVeigh starts his day by looking up at the ceiling from his bunk…and there is a wall-to-wall photo of the firefighter cradling the dead infant.

For the rest of his/her life, confront the killer every waking moment with images of the lives he destroyed. So in the most horrific cases, I favor unusual punishment over capital punishment.

 
 

Off topic, perhaps– but I wonder if it’s relevant to Cerb and her partners’ interests?

Obama to include disabled workers in federal minimum-wage hike

 
 

“The Lids” would be a good band name, except folks today would think it was about hats. There’s a mall-type hat store, “Lids.”

 
 

For the rest of his/her life, confront the killer every waking moment with images of the lives he destroyed. So in the most horrific cases, I favor unusual punishment over capital punishment.

Eh. I think some of the creepier ones might enjoy that treatment. As long as the truly dangerous criminals are warehoused away so that they can’t hurt anyone ever again, including other prisoners or guards, i think the interest of society is served. Punishment? I think once they are incarcerated the concept of punishment is moot. It sends a message that someone cares about them and what they did, which is more validation than they deserve. And given the notorious fallibility of the legal system, I’d hate for the conditions to be too harsh, in case an innocent is being incarcerated by mistake. So give them conditions equivalent to a cheap hotel with fixtures that are hard to break and easy to clean, just with doors that don’t open from the inside.
And- this is key, make accommodations of better (even just a bit better) quality available to everyone in the US, simply for being alive and breathing, so the people who say we treat criminals better than the homeless or illegal immigrants or mentally ill, have their entirely valid concerns addressed.

 
 

There was a Mirian Allen DeFord story with the same premise, that criminals would have to relive their crime through the technology of the state giving them a mental review of their crime. I think it sounds better than it would be in real life.

 
 

I remember back in the Good Old Days (tm RW) of Reagan, Nancy’s fancy dresses were all donated by the designers. So, either (a) they don’t cost anything or (b) fashion houses no longer see the FLOTUS as a fashion icon. Hmmm, I wonder why that could be?

 
 

So, I normally have no use for the death penalty, but I’m gonna hafta go ahead and make an exception here. You kill children, you should die.

especially given that there was NO weapon in the kids’ vehicle, this piece of shit actually got out of his vehicle and continued to shoot (in a GAS STATION parking lot, mind you) as the vehicle drove away, then proceeded to leave the scene himself, and then after having some pizza and wine, decided to just go home like not a motherfucking thing in the world just happened…

 
 

It found that trolling correlated with higher rates of sadism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism, a certain lack of scruples when it comes to deceiving or manipulating other people.

that is so spot on it’s scary…

I remember back in the Good Old Days (tm RW) of Reagan

i remember back in the good old days (pre-d.a. and dennis) went we weren’t subjected to a non-stop ‘did too! did not! you did that one thing! nuh-uh! nanana boo boo, slapfight, bromance…

 
 

I still have no use for the death penalty. As long as it is unequally applied to non-whites, and as long as there are any innocent people on death row (they are out there), there is no justification for it.

Even leaving aside the stupid platitudes about teaching people not to kill by killing them, the risk/benefit analysis doesn’t leave me sleeping at night with any surety that the only people being executed truly deserved what they’re getting.

I do acknowledge that some people just need to fucking die. I’ll never back down from that sentiment…there are monsters in this world. But we’re supposed to be blind justice tempered with mercy, where a person always gets a fair trial. That’s not how it works either.

 
 

Also: (Voicing agreement with thread bear’s comment)

Our justice system should be thought of as public safety, not a punishment. While it IS a punishment to be in prison (I know this firsthand), the primary directive is to protect others from violent criminals. You can’t punish a sociopath. If they had any concept of consequences, they likely wouldn’t have murdered or raped in the first place.

We need to stop trying to use the justice system as an “eye for an eye” hammer against those that (very rightfully) anger us. It’s to protect the public. So when someone murders or rapes, you stuff them in a box and keep them from doing it to anyone else ever again.

 
 

I do acknowledge that some people just need to fucking die. I’ll never back down from that sentiment…there are monsters in this world. But we’re supposed to be blind justice tempered with mercy, where a person always gets a fair trial. That’s not how it works either.

whole-heartedly agree with you. had a conversation with a young, super-conservative pharmacist (who is also a MAJOR perv) the other night and i queried why he’s pro-death penalty but pro-life. his answer was that criminals are people who have done something wrong and fetuses are people who are completely innocent…q.e.d.’d my ass i guess! he didn’t seem to feel there was a problem about wrongfully convicting a person, cuz that hardly ever happens…as we were standing in a restaurant kitchen during this conversation, everything was too hot or full of food to smack my forehead on…

 
 

his answer was that criminals are people who have done something wrong and fetuses are people who are completely innocent…

I don’t really have any issue with this sentiment. That’s not an invalid argument. But our sentiments aren’t the law. When we become adults, we’re supposed to reconcile those sentiments with doing the right fucking thing.

A fetus may be innocent, but that’s not for me to say when I’m not the 16 year old pregnant girl. I would love to put this fuck Dunn on his knees and put a pistol between his eyes, let the knowledge sink in that he’s about to die and there’s not a thing he can do about it, and put him down like the fucking animal he is. But I can’t. If we decide to be that society, there is no need for laws.

 
 

young, super-conservative … (who is also a MAJOR perv)

Super awesome guy.

 
 

We need to stop trying to use the justice system as an “eye for an eye” hammer against those that (very rightfully) anger us. It’s to protect the public. So when someone murders or rapes, you stuff them in a box and keep them from doing it to anyone else ever again.

This.

 
 

Super awesome guy.

he’s barely 30 and reveres ronny raygun…but he has his moments…

 
 

tsam said,
February 13, 2014 at 17:45

I still have no use for the death penalty.

Didn’t your goovernor just put a moratorium of executions?

Our dear leader, who is in his third term and planning a fourth, has declared there will be no executions while he is governor. Some guy who was given a reprieve shortly before his scheduled state sanctioned murder sued to force the execution. Said teh guv couldn’t give him a reprieve if he didn’t want it. Lost, appealed through the courts as far as SCOTUS which declined to hear the case.

Also, ‘#’ is an octothorp.

 
 

I don’t really understand the “death penalty bad, but in some horrific cases, it’s justified…” argument. The things that carry the death penalty today are horrific. Murder, rape, etc. If we think those things justify execution, then we should be fine with the current system. (If we have a problem with the number of black people being executed on flimsy charges, that’s a civil rights problem, but not a problem with the death penalty itself, just like the number of black people arbitrarily jailed for victimless crimes doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have jails).

To me, pragmatism says it’s a bad idea. On the one hand, a death sentence is irreversible, which nothing can be done if you’ve found out that you’ve made a mistake (which we all know does happen); you can’t take back the years a person spent in prison, but at least you can release him and let him live again. Not an option with someone you fried. And on the other hand, it’s pointless. A person who’s in a position to be executed is a person who’s already been captured, disarmed and locked up. They pose no more threat to anyone. Not a single life will be saved, not a single person will be protected, from executing someone who’s already been neutralized. No one gains anything from it.

We allow soldiers and cops to use deadly force to protect citizens – once the threat’s been thrown in jail, it’s no longer about that. Then, it really becomes about society deciding whether or not someone deserves to live or die, all other considerations aside. Leaving the pragmatism behind, that’s not a “right” I’m eager to claim for anyone.

 
 

Our justice system should be thought of as public safety, not a punishment.

This.

Which, of course, gets into another divide in our Civil-Cold-War society – on the other side of the aisle, it absolutely is about the punishment. Having seen what that leads them to is one of the reasons I’m not eager to embrace the mindset.

 
 

Didn’t your goovernor just put a moratorium of executions?

He did–suspended for review–not a full on moratorium. I think that most blue states will be abolishing it before too long.

 
 

In a perfect world I might support the death penalty but in the real world I don’t trust the State of _______ (pick one) to enforce it in a fair or competent manner.

 
 

Then, it really becomes about society deciding whether or not someone deserves to live or die, all other considerations aside. Leaving the pragmatism behind, that’s not a “right” I’m eager to claim for anyone.

this is one of the reasons allowing more citizens to be armed as pseud-security at schools, and the nra’s desire for all citizens to be armed…i do not ever want to kill somebody…if it comes down to literally saving my life (this would give me pause) or that of my kids i would, but there would have to be no other option…but has been noted many times here, i live in upperwhitelandia where nothing ever happens*

*although watching the gazillion true crime shows that are on (and most notably reading ‘in cold blood’, lots and lots of people are killed in whitebreadmiddleofnowhere…but that would never prompt me to buy a gun…

 
 

my typing and speaking skills have gone sharply downward in the past few weeks…i hope i’m not having a stroke…

 
 

and the great postponing of activities has begun! i left the daughter’s house very early this morning as we were in a ‘winter weather advisory’…total freaking whiteout conditions for most of the way back to hooterville…about mid-way through my white-knuckle adventure, the guy on the radio says that we have been upgraded to a blizzard warning…his co-hort then opined that it perhaps wasn’t really an ‘upgrade’…he did allow that it was an upgrade to weather severity but a downgrade in awesome…

 
 

The worst landmine in the death penalty debate is thinking that it’s a deterrent. It’s not. There is absolutely no proof that swift and sure death prevents crime among people who are predisposed to committing murder and rape. Sociopathic people are sick and do not look beyond whatever satisfaction they get out of committing these atrocities.

I’m a gun owner too, and I wouldn’t hesitate for a second to pull the trigger if I really truly believed my life was in danger. But let’s examine that scenario a bit…

We’ve all had weird shit go down (car wrecks, fights near us in a bar, etc…). 99% of people just sit there and watch it all happen, trying to process what is really happening. Those things happen so fast you don’t even have time to decide if you should be pulling out your gun. If you do, you HAVE to be damn sure you’re not making a mistake, and few among us are capable of making that assessment under duress. It’s just not how the human brain works.

 
 

he’s barely 30 and reveres ronny raygun…but he has his moments…

What did he like best about the guy who played second banana to Bonzo? Was it sabotaging the Iranian hostage crisis negotiations in order to defeat Carter? Selling arms to Iran to fund death squads in central America? Letting the CIA sell drugs to fund their projects? Ignoring the AIDS epidemic? Conquering the communist menace in Grenada? Or did he like earlier Reagan who snitched on people that were in the union of which he was president to HUAC?

 
 

i do not ever want to kill somebody

No, you don’t. You really, really don’t. Trust me.

 
 

and few among us are capable of making that assessment under duress

So buying a handgun doesn’t turn you into robocop? Does the NRA know about this?

 
 

While we’re on the subject, however…

I will say that law enforcement drops the fucking ball in EPIC fashion where it comes to protecting women from stalkers and violent spouses/boyfriends. Society at large does an absolute SHIT job of providing resources to help women get free of those fucking psychos. This is a HUGE problem and needs to be addressed immediately or sooner.

Instead of punishing the perpetrators, lets find ways to prevent the murders and rapes and beatings in the first fucking place.

I have spoken.

 
 

So buying a handgun doesn’t turn you into robocop? Does the NRA know about this?

All the Schwarzenegger movies say YOU’RE WRONG, MISTER.

 
 

No, you don’t. You really, really don’t. Trust me.

oh, i know! even if i felt my life were about to be snuffed out, i would either be like t’sam has noted and just be trying to process wtf was going on, or i’d be like, ‘meh…maybe it’s my time…’ it might sound really weird, but saving one’s own life (or in recent times ‘claiming’ to be saving one’s own life) just seems really selfish and self-aggrandizing to me…who am i that i should actually be alive? weird, i know…but if someone was about to mess with my kids, well, that would be a different story…i would pull the trigger without a thought (i think)…

 
 

I have been gratified to see governors do moratoria based on documented systemic flaws. Like the Major, I’m not sure I’d trust ANY government to do the death penalty right. But that position dovetails very nicely with the less-ambitious “not gonna execute under these conditions [or these, or these, ad infinitum].” Saying any existing system is good enough to proceed with executions is like saying that you want to execute the case-closed poster-boys so badly that you’re willing to kill innocents as well.

But hey, if people can convince themselves that the 1% worked hard to earn their money, they can convince themselves that people on death row belong there, eh? Just assume on both counts. Do not, however, assume that people on unemployment or food stamps are deserving and playing by the rules. Those things you gotta scrutinize … well no; unless it’s you or your buddy, assume they are dirty rotten takers.

 
 

I will say that law enforcement drops the fucking ball in EPIC fashion where it comes to protecting women from stalkers and violent spouses/boyfriends. Society at large does an absolute SHIT job of providing resources to help women get free of those fucking psychos. This is a HUGE problem and needs to be addressed immediately or sooner.

Instead of punishing the perpetrators, lets find ways to prevent the murders and rapes and beatings in the first fucking place.

I have spoken.

uh…yeah. i don’t see it changing until 1) we don’t let bully groups *cough* nra *cough* make legislation and continue to incubate a culture that admires gun-toting manly men 2) get more women in places of power that can actually change legislation and policies…

 
 

To pile on to what tsam said.

I can think of very few situations so dire that I require a gun, yet not so dire that I’m still capable of using the weapon by the time I figure out what’s going on.

 
 

also, i know i’m married and you have a ladyfriend, but will you marry me?

 
 

also, i know i’m married and you have a ladyfriend, but will you marry me?

Sure–let’s do it. We can sister wives and brother husbands. (Is that what they’re called?).

We’ll hang out and start our own gang.

 
 

I can think of very few situations so dire that I require a gun, yet not so dire that I’m still capable of using the weapon by the time I figure out what’s going on.

watching any horror or slash/gore fest movie where victims are being chased and they are able to perform great feats of skill, strength or cunning only serves to remind me that i cannot run and tend to shut-down in a crisis…when we go through crisis drill things here, i just follow the person in front of me and hope they know what the hell we’re supposed to do…

 
 

Sure–let’s do it. We can sister wives and brother husbands. (Is that what they’re called?).

We’ll hang out and start our own gang.

deal! hubbkf is a perv AND would also like to live in washington state…although it would kind of throw a kink into the visiting b^4 when he has made some spectacular food, but otherwise i think the sister wives/brother husbands could only add to the reality show…

 
 

I can think of very few situations so dire that I require a gun, yet not so dire that I’m still capable of using the weapon by the time I figure out what’s going on.

Exactly. Part of your duty is to avoid situations where shit could get that far out of hand.

 
 

How many death row and life sentence guys have been exonerated by DNA evidence? How many more would be if the DA would allow reopening an investigation?

Death penalty = permanent. There;s no going back and we KNOW that innocent people gave been killed. IF and only IF the judicial system could be somehow error free would I even think about having the state sanctioned murder penalty.

One more thing – somebody upstairs mentioned the undeterrentness. I used to know a psychologist who specialized in treating victim’s families. He told me something interesting. Most of them think killing the perp will bring them closure and relief. It doesn’t. Many suffer worse symptoms afterwards.

 
 

And if I were in any situation, I’d have to fall back on my very limited military training. But there I was part of an armed platoon with semi-automatic/automatic rifles, and we expected combat.

All alone with a 9mm pistol, versus someone who came to commit a crime…chances of success are LOW.

 
 

watching any horror or slash/gore fest movie where victims are being chased and they are able to perform great feats of skill, strength or cunning only serves to remind me that i cannot run and tend to shut-down in a crisis

I always thought the movie people tripping and falling or unable to remember how car keys work were unrealistic, now I find out they’re based on you!

 
 

hey…did i tell y’all that the son is applying to the police academy?

 
 

I always thought the movie people tripping and falling or unable to remember how car keys work were unrealistic, now I find out they’re based on you!

i know it’s a small gift to give to humanity, but there it is…just wait until they have me star in one of these movies and the homicidal maniac starts the chase and i just lay down and say, ‘sorry, can’t run…you’ll just have to kill me’

 
 

ugh…can’t my dreadful cow-orker realize that i am NOT interacting with her? where’s t & u when you really need her?!

 
 

One more thing – somebody upstairs mentioned the undeterrentness. I used to know a psychologist who specialized in treating victim’s families. He told me something interesting. Most of them think killing the perp will bring them closure and relief. It doesn’t. Many suffer worse symptoms afterwards.

Of course not. Now they are at the mercy of vengeful ghosts. It’s science!

 
 

hey…did i tell y’all that the son is applying to the police academy?

Nice! How do you feel about that?

 
 

If you’re being chased by a serial killer, the trick is to not be the slowest one in the group.

Also, NEVER go downstairs when the scary piano or cello music is playing. Don’t do it.

 
 

Most of them think killing the perp will bring them closure and relief. It doesn’t. Many suffer worse symptoms afterwards.

Not being a psychiatrist, I might be talking out of my butthole, but it seems to me that all the hoopla surrounding an execution, multiple appeals, being contacted by anti-death penalty groups, the media…none of that sounds as comforting as letting that horror take a permanent spot in your lifetime and doing your best to cope with the loss.

Seeing the killer’s mug on TV and hearing his name over and over cannot help in healing.

 
 

WRT the death penalty and incarceration in general, there used to be a time when a jail/prison sentence was supposed to be about rehabilitation (at least in theory), but that’s changed over to unabashed “let’s punish that … that … criminal!” Personally, I blame Reagan.

Me, I’m in favor of rehabilitation and “locking you up because we don’t think you can be trusted around regular folk.” Partly because I think it’s The Right Thing To Do, and partly because of the amazing, no doubt purely coincidental, almost complete lack of the wealthy and/or powerful in our general prison populations. And, of course, the complete lack of agreement between the “racial”/ethnic compositions of our prisons vs the unincarcerated.

And I’m pretty sure the overrepresentation of women and minorities among the poor is a feature, not a bug, for far too many of us.

 
 

Nice! How do you feel about that?

mostly proud…a little worried for his safety and also the lifestyle: he’s pretty hardcore when he’s into something and i know being a cop is a job that can really affect family life, depending on how you deal with stress…also, addiction/alcoholism runs pretty prevalent on my side of the family…but he’s got some good outlets, like boxing, soccer, snowboarding…

he’s also going to get a degree in criminal justice, so he doesn’t plan on only being a cop…he’d be awesome in juvie and/or probation…

 
 

Me, I’m in favor of rehabilitation and “locking you up because we don’t think you can be trusted around regular folk.” Partly because I think it’s The Right Thing To Do,

yes!

 
 

If you’re being chased by a serial killer, the trick is to not be the slowest one in the group.

Also, NEVER go downstairs when the scary piano or cello music is playing. Don’t do it.

And if somebody suggests splitting up the group for any reason, just say no. What IS it with the people in horror movies? Haven’t they ever seen a horror movie?

 
 

but he’s got some good outlets, like boxing, soccer, snowboarding…

I was raised by a cop, so I get where you’re going with that. My dad watched a whole bunch of his colleagues turn into jaded assholes who abused their wives and kids.

Outlets are mandatory, ones that don’t involve alcohol. He has to keep reminding himself that it’s just a job, and keep it at that. FAR easier said than done, I’m sure.

 
 

What IS it with the people in horror movies? Haven’t they ever seen a horror movie?

I know, right? But then again, we’re talking about Natural Selection at work. Crazed, homicidal maniacs are lucid enough to attack naked teenage girls and dumb pretty boys…When go after Cobra, they all get killed.

 
 

Also, when planning your “being chased by a tiger/crazed killer” scenario, just be sure to include me. I never could sprint, and now I’m old and fat, I really can’t. So the rest of you wouldn’t have to worry.

 
 

And if somebody suggests splitting up the group for any reason, just say no. What IS it with the people in horror movies? Haven’t they ever seen a horror movie?

They riffed on this in a Stargate SG1 episode set in dark tunnels with a Scary Monster in them.

 
 

“being chased by a tigris/crazed killer”

If I was being chased by tigris, I wouldn’t run very fast. Unless she’s a crazed killer. Wait, are you?

 
 

But I’ll NEVER CLOSE MY TAGS, K?

 
 

A synopsis.

2013 Tigers football stats: 12 wins, 2 losses.

Michael Sam: I’m gay.

The Tigers: Yep. We’ve known since August. Did you see our stats?

Missouri University: We just found out and we’re proud of you! p.s. Congrats on those stats.

Ninety zillion random people: COOL!

Various NFL office weenies: OMG NO ONE ON THE ENTIRE PLANET WILL EVER TOLERATE A GAY PLAYER IT WILL BE A HUGE DISTRACTION THE PLAYERS WILL BE ALL FREAKED OUT UNABLE TO PLAY ALSO SHOWERS THE GAME RUINED!!!

2013 Tiger football stats: Um, what?

Various sports commentators including conservative ones: Shut the fuck up and look at their stats.

Everyone except the NFL: Performs a vigorous dance on the back of various NFL office weenies.

 
 

Outlets are mandatory, ones that don’t involve alcohol.

teh diabetes has, fortunately(?), slowed down his alcohol consumption, but yeah, i still worry…

Various NFL office weenies: OMG NO ONE ON THE ENTIRE PLANET WILL EVER TOLERATE A GAY PLAYER IT WILL BE A HUGE DISTRACTION THE PLAYERS WILL BE ALL FREAKED OUT UNABLE TO PLAY ALSO SHOWERS THE GAME RUINED!!!

as has been noted, murderers, dogkillers, rapists and drug addicts are okay…just don’t taint the image of pro-football with gays, mmkay?

 
 

But I’ll NEVER CLOSE MY TAGS, K?

tagfails are the new black! the new 20s! the new…you get my point…tagfails ARE THE BEE’S KNEES!

 
 

do any of you canuckistanians recall canadian football leaguer tim roth?

 
 

Unless she’s a crazed killer. Wait, are you?

I may be one of those things. Whale Chowder is a razed kriller, OR SO I HEAR.

 
 

Whale Chowder is a razed kriller

This is so fucking awesome I may have peed a little.

 
 

Tim Roth is the brit that’s in all of Tarantino’s dumb movies. He got shot once and took a long time to die.

 
 

Tim Roth is the brit that’s in all of Tarantino’s dumb movies. He got shot once and took a long time to die.

haha, yes…when you google cfl’r tim roth (he’s a pretty big guy, so i wouldn’t recommend it) you get like 4 random entries for him and 90 bazillion for the brit who took a long time to die…

 
 

This is so fucking awesome I may have peed a little.

tigris must join sister wives/brother husbands scenario…

 
 

do any of you canuckistanians recall canadian football leaguer tim roth?

Not I.

Hey interesting discussion about the Death Penalty followed by noticing that sometimes the criminal justice system blows chunks. That’s one of the major issues I have with the Death Penalty. When cops or prosecutors fuck the hell up they almost never suffer any repercussions. These are positions with very very little accountability and lots of incentives to get arrests and convictions for high profile “horrific” cases.

The idea of giving this pack of jerkwads, who are less likely to lose their jobs for incompetence than even major newspaper columnists, anything even close to the power of Life and Death is a terrible one.

And before people point out that “it’s only a few bad apples” or that most of the cops they know are decent folks or they have very tough and dangerous jobs – I don’t fucking care. It is painfully obvious that many of the major police force in North America (if not all of them) have a pretty sizable core of “bad apples” and yet the rate at which all their “decent folks” colleagues rat them out and get them out of their positions of power and legal authority means bullshit on the idea that most cops are decent people. If a cop thinks that cops are more important than the folks they are charged to protect – even the “bad apples” – then fuck ’em.

 
 

when you google cfl’r tim roth

Sweet IPU! 1976 CFL Season?! uh, no – I do not remember that.

 
 

And before people point out that “it’s only a few bad apples” or that most of the cops they know are decent folks or they have very tough and dangerous jobs – I don’t fucking care. It is painfully obvious that many of the major police force in North America (if not all of them) have a pretty sizable core of “bad apples” and yet the rate at which all their “decent folks” colleagues rat them out and get them out of their positions of power and legal authority means bullshit on the idea that most cops are decent people. If a cop thinks that cops are more important than the folks they are charged to protect – even the “bad apples” – then fuck ‘em.

I remember, not too long after 9/11, reading (with some horror) some police higher-up in a major city (I think NYC) stating as fact that anyone who’s been arrested is guilty. Andthe point of the article wasn’t his idiocy.

 
 

WRT the death penalty and incarceration in general, there used to be a time when a jail/prison sentence was supposed to be about rehabilitation (at least in theory), but that’s changed over to unabashed “let’s punish that … that … criminal!” Personally, I blame Reagan.

I bring this one up from time to time, but – going after the growth of gangs like MS-13 is a big thing in Central America, where a number of country passed “mano dura” policies (based on the counsel of advisers from our own FBI) that were basically “hit hard and lock them up” during the 2000s. Unsurprisingly, it never went anywhere, and the gangs only grew. The one country that’s had any success in bringing down the gang rate – Nicaragua. Because their (left wing, sheer coincidence I’m sure) government, while it also locks up gang members, invests a bunch in rehabilitation programs teaching them various skills that they’ll find useful when they’re released from jail. And it turns out that a whole bunch of them, upon release, chose to exercise those skills instead of going right back to the gang.

Which is the entire “punishment vs rehabilitation” thing in a nutshell. Our right wingers, and their pals in neighboring countries, would rather get the “moral” victory of having Punished the Bad People, regardless of how ineffective it is, than abase themselves by doing something that might actually solve the crime problem, but doesn’t appeal to their sense of How Things Ought To Be.

 
 

They riffed on this in a Stargate SG1 episode set in dark tunnels with a Scary Monster in them.

“Wait here!”
“Yes… you go down the dark hallway alone, and I’ll wait here in the dark room alone.”

Oh, Stargate. Still my favorite TV show of all time, and the show that, along with Farscape, brought “genre savvy” to previously unknown heights. All those blank stares the aliens had to give in response to the heroes’ hurricane of pop culture references.

 
 

Rehabilitation is a variable, not a constant. It works with some people, doesn’t work with others.

I’ve always thought that sentencing should be a maximum, and let prisoners decide if they want to get it together and have a life outside a cage.

But then that requires parole officers to have a work load they can actually handle, and some sort of transition program that starts them off with a way to earn money and somewhere to live. Right now the system pretty much dumps these guys on the street with nothing and then acts all surprised when they go back to what they know–crime.

 
 

[reading back through older posts]

Cerberus said,
February 12, 2014 at 6:35

Yech.

Just… yech.

The cherry on the cake is that all this is supposed to be happening at a… domestic violence shelter? A business whose supposed purpose is to help people deal with intensely personal problems, the kind where empathy should be pretty much the one job requirement?

Which begs two questions, 1) if this is how they treat their employees (or prospective employees), one wonders how they treat their clients, and 2) if even a company like this manages to act like such a bag of dicks, imagine regular companies with zero humanitarian aspirations.

I really hope your SO manages to find something where… well, employees are treated like employees, as rarer as that’s becoming.

 
 

as has been noted, murderers, dogkillers, rapists and drug addicts are okay…just don’t taint the image of pro-football with gays, mmkay?

People who concern troll sports over gay athletes are nothing more than bigoted fuckheads. Every single argument they posit is nothing more than the same shopworn, foot to the mouth, man humps dog/goat/horse trope. Every professional athlete knows that there are gay men/women in their midst. They also know that if they want to continue to keep drinking from the money fountain, they’d best just learn to deal with it instead of worrying that a gay dude might have a look at his butt in the shower.

Let’s face it: Most people that worry about getting hit on by gays are the least likely to get hit on by gays.

 
 

And before people point out that “it’s only a few bad apples”

Well doesn’t the saying state that one bad apple spoils the bunch? And it does only take the action of one bad apple to poison the trust relationship between the police and the public. It only takes one bad apple to inspire borderline cases in the police department to behave in ways they wouldn’t if they were working with peers with more personal integrity. Certainly it only takes one bad apple to pull a trigger where another policeman would have used a taser or a nightstick.

 
 

Yeah, that “few bad apples” defense seems to miss the point of the idiom.

But more than that, my point isn’t that even a few bad apples spoils the bunch – it’s that this notion that most cops are decent is bullshit. They may act “decent” and pay lip service to the idea that maybe cops aren’t above the law – but the facts proves them liars.

If cops really were decent and really did care a whit about justice, they would be the loudest ones railing against other cops. The “few bad apples” should be identified by the people whose job it is to uphold the law. But cops don’t do that. They almost never rat each other out – the only time there are ever investigations is when photographic or video evidence comes to light.

They care most about protecting their own. Because cops are more important than civilians. And then we give these people guns and powers of arrest and detention. Fuck em.

And prosecutors are no better. Do you know what the penalty for withholding exculpatory evidence from defense attorneys and getting innocent people locked up in jail on fictional made-up bullshit is? Maybe that conviction might get overturned several years later. You know, when you engage in hours and hours of well practiced psychological warfare against your chosen suspect to be convicted – sometimes you get false confessions. And when you don’t, planting a “jailhouse confidante” that’s known to be a compulsive liar to testify to a confession – well that says something about your pursuit of truth and justice, doesn’t it?

But they justify it because they know that the suspect they have appointed to be convicted is “guilty”. The actual trials and court appearances aren’t even formalities, but rather impediments to achieving justice. And when facts and evidence show that they are wrong – well it’s time to bury that shit. I mean why let the truth get in the way of getting to the Truth.

That it ever gets uncovered in such a us-vs-them bunker land as the criminal justice system indicates that it probably happens a lot more than even I suspect. And yet where are the charges of perjury or perverting the course of justice?

 
 

Hey sorry about teh Debbie Downers. I’ll try and lighten up a bit.

POOP.

 
 

Fuck-fuckety-fuckkkk I hate the Link/Text Alchemy !!!! I paid extra-close attention to see that everything was precisely in accordance with the model. So I fuken give up tryin’ to us it.

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/sports_anchors_rips_nfl_intolerance_michael_sam

 
 

POOP And The Roaches
The Antifungal Shitheap
Sleeping In Shit
FunGSide And The Fecal Matters

 
 

Fuck-fuckety-fuckkkk

You had an extra set of tags in there. What you had was:

<a href=”http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/sports_anchors_rips_nfl_intolerance_michael_sam”></a><a>On-Topic</a>

You needed to take out the middle </a><a> like so:

<a href=”http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/sports_anchors_rips_nfl_intolerance_michael_sam”>On-Topic</a>

(Preemptive FWYP if the angle brackets don’t work.)

 
 

It’s good to be a Luddite.

Unless you are a really, really stupid one. Then it feels like shit.

Imma gonna go watch Stewart and Colbert

 
 

OBS is patient and good person. Don’t tell anybody, though.

 
 

Sweet IPU! 1976 CFL Season?! uh, no – I do not remember that.

get. off. my. lawn.

i know ONE measly somewhat famous athlete and you make me feel like an old codger!

 
 

OBS is patient and good person. Don’t tell anybody, though.

It’s OK, I know you still don’t like me.

And since the thread is mostly dead anyway, here’s what all that angle bracket shit means.

This is about HTML. Now I’m sure most of you have heard those letters before, and many will know what they mean, this isn’t for you. Stop reading.

Really. Stop. Fine, it’s your brain.

HTML stands for “HyperText Markup Language” which itself used SGML, the “Standard Generalized Markup Language” to define its concrete syntax.

Basically what that means is that’s where the angle brackets (<>) that we use to mark the text for special consideration come from. Beyond that SGML is mostly just historical at this point and you should read the wackypedia if you care.

The markup that FYWP (and Google/blogspot, also, too, mostly) allows us to use in comments is a very small subset of HTML — quoting, italics, bold, strikeout, etc. All of the markup we use has its corresponding tag. A “tag” is what marks the beginning and ending of “special” text — stuff we want to make bold or turn into a link. Tags start with a left angle bracket (<) a.k.a. “less than” and are immediately followed by one or more characters. In the case of the link tag, it’s “a” as in “anchor.” That’s what it was called back in the day as its main use was to “anchor” one part of a document to another so you could jump back-n-forth glossary/index style. Nobody gives a shit about that anymore.

After that opening bit some tags can be immediately closed with a closing right angle bracket (>) a.k.a. “greater than” (e.g. <i>) — other tags (e.g. <a ) should be followed by one or more attributes. An attribute is just that, more stuff that describes the tag, and so affects the human-readable text inside the tag’s opening and closing markers.

Links can have a few different attributes, but the one we really care about is “href.”

The “href” attribute specifies the “hyperlink reference” that the anchor points to — just a fancy name for what we know as a link, a.k.a. “URL” — “uniform resource locator” (or “URI” — “uniform resource identifier” more currently correct).

So to put that all together, we add a space after our “<a” then add our attribute and its contents. The attribute name must be followed by an equals sign (=), that’s the separator that tells the parser that this attribute contains a value and isn’t just an on/off flag, and that should be followed by a quote character (single or double, doesn’t matter) to delineate the actual start of the attribute’s contents, the URL.

A URL can be a very complicated thing, so I’ll just describe the most basic use, pointing to a simple file/resource on a web server. Such a link needs to start with “http://” because that tells us we want the “HypterText Transport Protocol” and not something else, like FTP (“File Transfer Protocol”) or something. There are other protocols, but you don’t care about those (or any of this, really. Why are you still reading?) After the dual slashes (again used as delimiters and also required — just one doesn’t cut it) we have the name of the internet server (domain name) e.g. “www.google.com”. Yes, of course you could use the server’s IP address instead of its domain name, why couldn’t you? Do you really want met to get into IPV4 notation too? IPV6? You monster!

Ahem.

The name (yes, or address) is followed by another delimiting slash. And then you get to the actual stuff you want to look at on that particular server — the path that points to the file and/or actual resource you’re looking for, (e.g. “/the/internet/is/a/silly/place.html”). There are lots and lots of things that can be contained in that string, but since most of you wankers are just copying and pasting them from somewhere, you don’t care.

Anyhoo, the URL is then followed by the closing quote character — of course it has to match the opening character — symmetry! — and the closing right angle bracket >

All that just gets us our opening tag. See, it’s easy when you don’t think about it!

To recap, what we have so far:

<a href="http://a.server.name/the/internet/is/a/silly/place.html">

After the opening tag, you put whatever you want to actually be displayed to be clicked on, typically:

PENIS

That’s the “contents” of the tag. The human-readable shit that we’re meant to see. Get it? We have like, these magic pairs of less-than/greater-than doohickys with things in them that tell the computer what to do, and we put human readable shit in-between pairs of these other pairs. We good so far? No? Tough, you shouldn’t even be reading this anyway.

Now… wait for it… we need to close the tag. Guess what that is? Yep more brackets and slashes and shit. Closing tags don’t get attributes, so at least we have that going for us. In our example, it’s simple — we need to start the tag with our left angle bracket (<), then tell the parser that this is going to be a closing tag by putting yet another slash (/) in there. Then that needs to be followed by the corresponding type of tag we’re closing — it’s an “a” for “anchor” remember? — and then we close the closing tag (yes, what of it?) with that final, delightful, right angle bracket (>). That combination should look like this if you’ve forgotten already: </a>

That’s it, we have a link, it should look like this:

<a href="http://a.server.name/the/internet/is/a/silly/place.html">PENIS</a>

Now, to really blow your minds, we can nest that shit to combine it all together. You can figure that part out, the key is symmetry and matching the opening and closing pairs.

If you read this far, guess what you get?

Yep, it’s a PENIS.

 
 

Your lawn is FAIL. And I’ll never get off it.

 
 

I’m sort of ashamed to admit that HTML tagging makes almost perfect sense to me. But then I work in an industry that uses coding on thousands of products as a part number that defines what said part is.

 
 

I will try the Alchemy again, with OBS’s recipe right there on my screen. Will Fenwick fuck this up? The World Wonders.

On-Topic

 
 

I learned HTML from HTML for Dummies (gah!) 20 years ago. One of the things that stuck with me was “it’s like an onion” – that is, if you’re using more than one tag (say, bold, italics, link) you put in the closing tags from the inside out, so it looks like an onion in cross-section. It was said to make some machines happier, which is probably no longer an issue, but it does help me keep things neater.

Like:

bold italics link nest that shit /link /italics /bold -or whatever order OBS used.

yeah. I read it through, despite warnings. So?

 
 

Nope. Fenwick didn’t fuck that up.

 
 

Fenwick will never fuck it up again (except for butterfingery reasons) if he now understands OBS’s explanation.

At least, I find that’s how my memory works. I don’t do rote so well.

 
 

i know ONE measly somewhat famous athlete and you make me feel like an old codger!

The only guy I have ever met who played in the CFL retired from football in 1973. Although I only met him in his role as a clinical pharmacologist, where he was general manager of a research clinic where friends of mine worked.

 
 

And I am profoundly pissed – though not terribly surprised – that Comcast will be acquiring TWC. Yet another “too big to fail” that must have socialized risks, private profits, and far too much say in our daily lives.

 
 

It’s OK, I know you still don’t like me.

So not true. The misunderstanding was MY fault, as I now recognize.

(((Backstory: I was using dual nyms and OBS came down very hard on the non-Fenwick nym, believing it was a troll. I got my boxers in a bunch, threw a hissy fit, and left Sadlyburg for months. When I returned, BBBB diplomatically explained what had really happened. I felt–still feel–like a grade-A doofus.)))

 
 

Imma gonna go watch Stewart and Colbert

they really nailed the michael sam thing…i might re-watch those two bits after work tonight…

And I am profoundly pissed – though not terribly surprised – that Comcast will be acquiring TWC. Yet another “too big to fail” that must have socialized risks, private profits, and far too much say in our daily lives.

soooooo…does this mean i will now get them on directv again? or am i doomed to spend the rest of my mornings with the doofuses on WEATHER NATION?! i mean, i love paul douglas and everything, but man its lame…

 
 

yeah. I read it through, despite warnings. So?

It’s your branez.

I learned this shit as all the tools and servers were still being developed, since I was using the intertrons before the web was even a thing (telnet! gopher! UUCP! Wheeeee!)

 
 

Yet another “too big to fail” that must have socialized risks, private profits, and far too much say in our daily lives.

I still have no clue how this got past the Justice Dep…OH WAIT…twice as much internet history on one server cluster. The NSA is probably having cake and ice cream right now.

Also, this should totally bring down the cost of paid television, which is a STEAL right now. Internet too. VOIP and such. Yep, this is a net WIN for consumers. (Of your private information).

 
 

But I just heard on NPR that Comcast and Time-Warner Cable would be facing lots of tough questions, and would have to make concessions, seeing as how the Fed’s antitrust arm has come alive and swinging under Obama. So I am reassured that consumers will be fine, nay, will benefit from the merger. Heck that’s probably why they’re doing it! Turns out there’s just no better way to provide improved services.

(Making a bet with myself that that’s a good part of the stated reason.)

 
 

I actually didn’t realize that the merger hasn’t gone to the Justice Dept yet. I’m not holding my breath for an outcome that helps consumers in any way.

 
 

Tip, which might help make things easier for you, maybe, sometime, at some point down the line, sort of: anything up the slash following the top level domain – .com .edu .org etc. – is case insensitive. Thus <a href = “http://www.site.com> is exactly the same as <a href = “hTTtp://wWw.SITe.coM> To be sure, the tags themselves are case insensitive. Anything following the dot after the top level domain might be and probably is case sensitive. <a href = “http://www.site.com/myarchives/2012”> probably won’t work as <a href = “http://www.site.com/Myarchives/2012”>

Also, in email addresses case makes no fucking difference at all.

 
 

I hope that somehow scumbag O’Keefe and scumbag minion both lose this lawsuit. Maybe they both have to pay for a college education for 100 human type people…? Or sewn together and made to fight for a tray of 7-11 nachos…? I don’t know. Something humiliating.

 
 

Tsar Alexander II’s assasin regreted his crime and he asked the successor tsar not for a pardon but for a delay of execution so he could properly repent in front of God. Tsar Alexander III turned his request down and executed him right away. Even if you don’t believe in heaven and hell and Russian Orthodoxy, that is one stone cold move. Alex III was an asshole.

 
 

Oh I dunno. Executing him right away allowed him to repent right there, in front of God. God willing, I guess. Meaning he’d have to drop everything.

 
 

(((Backstory: I was using dual nyms and OBS came down very hard on the non-Fenwick nym, believing it was a troll. I got my boxers in a bunch, threw a hissy fit, and left Sadlyburg for months. When I returned, BBBB diplomatically explained what had really happened. I felt–still feel–like a grade-A doofus.)))

I’ve always been in your corner, old chum- I well remember working the graveyard shift and exchanging comments with you, while we waited for suezboo to put in her first appearance… I enjoyed those quiet times with the, as you put it, the “night hawks” subgroup. I remember you bouncing from ‘nym to ‘nym for a while before settling on “Fenwick”, and suggesting that you develop a consistent identity, which you accomplished with aplomb. There’s no need to feel like a doofus, web etiquette (netiquette, if you will) is not a subject that’s taught in school.

Now, once you get those HTML codes down, you’ll be unstoppable.

 
 

Doin the two year dance. Hello Comcast, I’m thinking about changing to DirectTV. Whatcha got? Hello DirectTV, thinking about switching from Comcast. Dance little monkeys dance!

 
 

I could say that we abandoned cable TV, again, several years ago, but my crucial internet comes from TW, and there’s no viable alternative at this rented house. (Co. #2 can’t really supply competitive ‘net to this place, but of course they couldn’t just say that.)

I guess I’m supposed to be blown away by all these options and bundles, but no, and in fact Netflix (even without Amazon Prime, which we also have) meets the pseudo-cable need, when coupled with free broadcast channels, at less cost than basic cable. But you gotta have decent internet …

How am I supposed to be impressed with bundled services when I literally cannot save a dollar by dropping my landline telephone? I suspect they make more by my having the line, but are unwilling to pass a fraction of that money along to me. Whatever, it’s a lame gambit since what we’re still using that line for in this era could be accomplished with a web service: that part of their business model depends on me being too lazy to set up the alternative. Whee, we’re awesome service providers, banking on the tail-end of laziness and stupidity.

 
 

I really enjoyed that old, white, cismale, hetero, Texan, sportsloving, guy (and I mean every one of those commas) speaking out for Sam against the macho/crimminal football culture. That was epic.

 
 

Cerb, I am totally horrified and disgusted by what you and your family (constructed) have had to go through recently. The lack of simple humanity shown by all the other parties concerned makes one’s stomach turn.
I knew I had white privilege, educated/class privilege, abled privilege (educated by Blue Lily at Gimp Parade and bbkf) but, until now, I had not realised I had cis privilege too. Jebus wept.
Why are people so fricking mean to each other? I realise this is The Existential Question in all human interaction but it’s still hanging out there.

 
 

Shocking. http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/brent-bozell-does-not-write-columns-books

now i have an image of bozell stopping by this guy’s desk, tossing down a sheaf of papers and gravely saying, ‘i am outraged…now, write’…then he strolls away…

 
 

What’s next? Will we find out that Bozell’s beard is fake?

We last heard from Bozell a week ago when his other group, ForAmerica, unveiled its campaign to remove every Republican congressional leader from office this year.

This is going to be an awesome primary season. Please proceed, GOP.

 
 

What’s next? Will we find out that Bozell’s beard is fake?

It’s a real beard, it’s just grown by someone else then shaved off and pasted on Bozell’s mug.

 
 

It’s a real beard, it’s just grown by someone else then shaved off and pasted on Bozell’s mug.

Probably clippings from Trump’s combover.

 
 

Probably clippings from Trump’s combover.

okay, now you’re getting gross!

 
 

Why are people so fricking mean to each other? I realise this is The Existential Question in all human interaction but it’s still hanging out there.

i know…it is an eternal question…as of yesterday, the best answer i could hazard right now comes from my hairdresser, who told me that everything bad that happens is because sin…even the unfathomable loss of my friend’s husband a few weeks back now happened because sin…i found that to be a little odd, but then again further in the conversation, she finds grown adults living together to be ‘creepy’…

anyhoo, my antidote to all the meanness and complete bullshit we’re fed every day is to go to a special olympics sporting event…was just at the daughter’s on wednesday evening (1st, 2nd & 4th!). they are the most heartwarming and gratifying things ever…seriously, each and every athlete is celebrated with patience and encouragement…in one particular swimming event, this little girl was just paddling for all she was worth, but looked like she was at a standstill…inch by inch she made her way down her lane…it probably took a good five minutes, but the entire crowd was chanting her name and clapping in time…when she finally made it to the finish, everyone was on their feet cheering…feck, i get misty-eyed just thinking about it…

 
 

Probably clippings from Trump’s combover.

Trump’s hair doesn’t get clipped, parts just occasionally cut themselves loose in desperation.

 
 

Trump’s hair doesn’t get clipped, parts just occasionally cut themselves loose in desperation.

I used to think it was a toupee. And then I realized, that a man who is as rich as Trump pretends to be (when he’s not declaring bankruptcy) could afford a much better toupee than whatever it is that is stuck to his head.

 
 

I remain unconvinced it is not an emaciated weasel residing on top of his head. He hasn’t proved it isn’t.

 
 

Pretty sure it’s a marmoset.

 
 

Trump’s gotta have himself like a 50 person entourage. How is it that SOMEBODY hasn’t sat him down and had a “come to Jesus” moment over that hair? Even in the 70s that hair would be all fucked up and wrong.

 
 

Then again, the guy is demonstrably INSANE, so I guess those questions sorta answer themselves.

 
 

I used to think it was a toupee. And then I realized, that a man who is as rich as Trump pretends to be (when he’s not declaring bankruptcy) could afford a much better toupee than whatever it is that is stuck to his head.

He’s been asked about it. I’m gonna proceed as if I remember. People have told him (with straight faces) that his hair looks great, it’s a signature look and a good one.

Trump believes himself to be very perceptive, so these people could not be putting him on. They must be speaking their minds, and he’s not the least surprised that they think he’s singularly good-looking, since only haters think otherwise.

 
 

i have it on totes good authoritay that it’s a guinea pig…

 
 

Trump believes himself to be very perceptive, so these people could not be putting him on. They must be speaking their minds, and he’s not the least surprised that they think he’s singularly good-looking, since only haters think otherwise.
do they also scrub the internets for him? cuz how could he come across this googling himself (you KNOW he does) and ever possibly think he looks good?

 
 

Damn … I haven’t listened to Astral Weeks in so long … I just started crying a bit.

 
 

I remain unconvinced. If the “hair” were any of those creatures, I think it would look better than it does.

 
 

The good news is I called in for an interview at a clothes store.
The bad news is immediately afterwards I found out my house is imprisoned in snow and fences so I had to reschedule the interview.

 
 

The bad news is immediately afterwards I found out my house is imprisoned in snow and fences so I had to reschedule the interview.

so is there an full-body fa imprint in the snow on the other side of your door?

 
 

Nope, the front screen door won’t open and there is a sliding door to the backyard but that’s fenced in. But the landlord org is coming to save us.

 
 

The backyard’s fenced in, I mean.

 
 

Sheesh, few things make me want to go “HULK SMASH!” more than people who don’t clean the goddamn snow off of their cars before hitting the road. I’ve seen people driving around with four, five inch thick “cakes” of snow on the roofs of their cars. Even crazier are the people who largely clean off their cars but leave a football sized chunk of ice and/or snow sitting on their trunk. It would take mere seconds to knock the fucking thing off, but they’d rather drive fifty miles an hour with the damn thing there.

 
 

I have been surprised how many people don’t clear the snow off their back and/or side windows AT ALL. Derp-de-doo, I can kinda see out the front, here we go! I imagine that’s ticketable.

 
 

Sheesh, few things make me want to go “HULK SMASH!” more than people who don’t clean the goddamn snow off of their cars before hitting the road.

Me too. It happens a LOT here in Spokanistan. It’s frightening to think of what they do when they want to change lanes. Just go and hope nobody is there.

If I was a cop, I’d give those fucks a whole stack of tickets. Plus they wouldn’t see the lights, so I’d arrest them for felony eluding.

BOOM.

 
 

Not clearing your car off is illegal here in NY, but people still blow it off.

 
 

the onion piece is pretty amusing, but this line at the end totally made it for me:

The poll also revealed that 50 percent of active players would prefer not to know the sexual orientation of a teammate they were fucking

Not clearing your car off is illegal here in NY, but people still blow it off.

i’m pretty sure it is here in mn too…but yeah, people are incredibly stupid about it…my trick is to warm the car up for so long that the snow melts right off it…

 
 

It’s a real beard, it’s just grown by someone else then shaved off and pasted on Bozell’s mug.

The real explanation.

 
 

Just go and hope nobody is there.

this is what i did yesterday morning during my drive to the office in a whiteout…every intersection was like playing russian roulette…i closed my eyes, gunned it and hoped for the best…

speaking of russians, the men’s figure skating drama last evening was quite…dramatic yet not-dramatic…although i must say i have never seen such a spectacular spill on the ice…

 
 

Damn … I haven’t listened to Astral Weeks in so long … I just started crying a bit.

Hmm, good call. Such a great album. Cue-ing it up now!

 
 

Tom Perkins – Libertarian Sex Kitten.

Speaking Thursday night at the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco, Tom Perkins was asked to name an idea that would “change the world.”

“The Tom Perkins system is: You don’t get to vote unless you pay a dollar of taxes,” he responded, as quoted by CNNMoney. “But what I really think is, it should be like a corporation. You pay a million dollars in taxes, you get a million votes. How’s that?”

 
 

wow…tom perkins is quite an asshat…and everyone pays taxes in one form or another…it would be amusing, though to see the corporations start giving up tax breaks
so they could pay more taxes…

 
 

The billionaire venture capitalist who thinks liberals are waging a “Kristallnacht”-level war on the the wealthy also believes the “one percent” deserves more of a say in politics by virtue of its tax bracket.

Kristallnacht–a term commonly used by wohlhabend untermensch.

OMFG THE RICH ARE SO PERSECUTED THEY NEED EVEN MORE VOTES THAN THE ONES THEY ALREADY BUY

 
 

Oh Missouri, you’re so cute.

Wait, no, not “cute”… what was it… oh yeah! Bugfuck-ignorant backwards-ass shitheads! Yeah, that’s what I meant.

 
 

“The Tom Perkins system is: You don’t get to vote unless you pay a dollar of taxes,” he responded, as quoted by CNNMoney. “But what I really think is, it should be like a corporation. You pay a million dollars in taxes, you get a million votes. How’s that?”

HOW’S THAT?!… You’ve trolled the shit out of me, you brain-dead fascist fuck! I’m shitless with rage. I’m at a loss for words. Uncharacteristically incoherent. Well powder mah balls and toss me a lollipop, wouldja look at that! It’s Tom Perkins, I hates him

 
 

YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE, TOM PERKINS? YOU’RE ON THE GOOD SHIP LOLLIPOP. SUCK ON THIS TIL YOU GET A CLUE!

 
 

an actual comment at wsj from an actual person:

Looks to me that Hitler in 1935-36, and Obama in 2013-14 are pretty analogous. At least Hitler has the excuse of the Treaty of Versailles, a valid grievance of Germany’s treatment after WW I, to foment the establishment of a dictatorship under the guise of grievance. Obama is establishing a dictatorship in the greatest nation in the course of human history for no other reason then his grievance about being abandoned by his father, which is shown in his petty and demagogic mentality, and that was reinforced by his being raised by his Communist grandparents and mentor’s such as Frank Marshall Davis.

my gab is completely flabbered that people this ignorant are actually a part of society…

 
 

I’m serious, somebody toss me a lolly before I lose it thinking about Tom Perkins

 
 

State Rep. Rick Brattin (R), who sponsored the bill, told a local TV station last week that teaching only evolution in school was “indoctrination.”

oh…so in science classes, kids aren’t supposed to learn science? well, i guess it makes sense…in english and lit classes fiction is studied…math has hypothetical story problems…history classes are whitewashed…so sure, why not teach some made up bullshit in science?

 
 

I’m serious, somebody toss me a lolly before I lose it thinking about Tom Perkins

Quick! Look at the cute little puppies! LOOK AT THEM!

 
 

Oh Missouri, you’re so cute.

Wait, no, not “cute”… what was it… oh yeah! Bugfuck-ignorant backwards-ass shitheads! Yeah, that’s what I meant.

I “love” the argument that some people* make that even if evolution is true, we shouldn’t teach it, because it would make the little children doubt the authority of religion, and religion is the only thing that keeps the little children from being murderous savages. As if raising children ignorant of reality and zealously loyal to the tenets of religion wasn’t the time honored method of making murderous savages, as embodied by the Taliban, for instance.

*Ross Douthat or Rod Dreher (is there any proof that these aren’t actually the same person?) recently wrote an column claiming this.

 
 

Aww, each one is more adorable than the next … thanks man [deep breaths]

 
 

You don’t get to vote unless you pay a dollar of taxes,” he responded, as quoted by CNNMoney. “But what I really think is, it should be like a corporation. You pay a million dollars in taxes, you get a million votes. How’s that?”

Aw, isn’t it cute how he pretends he gets less out of government than someone who doesn’t invest, fly, use business courts to resolve disputes, get bailout money, etc.

 
 

Quick! Look at the cute little puppies! LOOK AT THEM!

me want puppies…

maeve’s body count in the past few weeks:

entire bag of cough drops
box of kleenex
fresh flowers
plastic scissors handle
one of hubbkf’s shoes
a pair of my slippers
2 pillows
one throw
2 bras
1 nail file
my glucose meter, test strips and lancets
1 prescription med bottle and all its contents
4 tennis balls
3 stuffed animals
and some poly fluff of indeterminate origins
yeah, maybe i don’t want another puppy…think maeve’s got cabin fever?

 
 

But what I really think is, it should be like a corporation. You pay a million dollars in taxes, you get a million votes. How’s that?

How about you pay a million dollars in campaign contributions and you get your very own laws passed?

Oh wait, we already have that system.

 
 

Since the Republican mantra is “hard work is what makes you rich” I propose that you should get 1 vote per each 1000 calories you burn while on the job. Let’s see what happens when the ditch diggers start running this country.

 
 

I love you, TPM:

A few years later, when liberal journalist Eric Boehlert provided Nexis results to challenge the argument that Planned Parenthood and abortion advocates are never described as “social liberal,” a 2005 Bozell column dismissed the rebuttal.

“That’s just lazy, sloppy criticism,” the column read.

A 2012 column titled “CBS: Still Lazy With Obama After All These Years” blasted anchor Charlie Rose for his interview with the President.

But journalists weren’t the only people who drew charges of laziness.

Weighing in on the debate over girls competing in high school wrestling, a 2011 Bozell column opened with a groan toward America’s youth.

“It’s so easy to look at teenagers in general today and sigh,” the column read. “They’re more than a bit lazy, a bit spoiled and more than a bit morally compromised.”

It’s not that Bozell ever needed someone to write those observations for him.

The conservative firebrand has always proved more-than-capable of disparaging the press during his frequent appearances on Fox News, like when he told Sean Hannity last year that the liberal media is “dumb,” “lazy,” and “dishonest.”

I’ll bet he’s not even a real doctor.

 
 

Looks to me that Hitler in 1935-36, and Obama in 2013-14 are pretty analogous.

By 1935, Hitler had banned the opposition and seized their assets, had sent leaders of organizations he disagreed with to concentration camps, had ordered the murders of several former allies, and had abolished ALL legal ways of being removed from power. You know, pulling shit out of your ass does NOT make it analogous.

 
 

Hee hee, Bozell’s ghostwriter writing columns complaining about laziness is starting to sound a little passive-aggressive.

 
 

Looks to me that Hitler in 1935-36, and Obama in 2013-14 are pretty analogous. At least Hitler has the excuse of the Treaty of Versailles, a valid grievance of Germany’s treatment after WW I, to foment the establishment of a dictatorship under the guise of grievance. Obama is establishing a dictatorship in the greatest nation in the course of human history for no other reason then his grievance about being abandoned by his father, which is shown in his petty and demagogic mentality, and that was reinforced by his being raised by his Communist grandparents and mentor’s such as Frank Marshall Davis.

Obama is worse than Hitler. How very original.

 
 

By 1935, Hitler had banned the opposition and seized their assets, had sent leaders of organizations he disagreed with to concentration camps, had ordered the murders of several former allies, and had abolished ALL legal ways of being removed from power. You know, pulling shit out of your ass does NOT make it analogous.

wow, what an obambotsheepledroneprogressiveliberalhippycommunist you are, tigris! can’t you see that obama has done EXACTLY THE SAME THING by repeatedly caving in during negotiations and passing a less than optimal health care plan? JUST LIKE HITLER!!!

 
 

It is all a cunning plan to lull us into a false sense of security! Wait until Nov 1, 2015, when he bans all elections!!!

 
 

Tom Perkins is one of these narrowly-focused and -educated types who mostly just knows some technical stuff and how to make money. (BS in electrical engineering and computer science; MBA from Harvard.) Unprepared to be a member of any ruling class, he imagines he’s ready for a billion votes in this place and time.

At the link, scroll down to the books he’s written. The guy is an enormous douche. I don’t mean liking boats or cars or oneself is bad, but looking at the whole … wow.

He has no idea why people laughed at him re: the one-tax-dollar-one-vote quip; all he can do is claim he was trying to be outrageous. But could he explain why it was an outrageous thing to say, from an opposing perspective? If not, what business does he have playing the guru beyond his narrow sphere?

 
 

In 2011 Perkins acquired a Japanese fisheries training vessel, and had it converted into an “adventure” yacht named Dr. No which is used to carry a “Deep Flight” submarine

This guy’s a white persian cat and a monocle from being a James Bond villain.

 
 

ugh…he actually married danielle steele?! that alone is a testament to his incredibly bad taste…then i read this:

Sex and the Single Zillionaire, (ISBN 0-06-085167-8) published In January 2006, this is Perkins first romance novel, which he dedicated to Steel. The plot of the book is based on a reality TV idea which was pitched to Perkins, where he would date a series of women and choose one to marry. He claims that “no ‘ghost’ did the writing.” Proceeds from the book will be donated to Harvard University.[16]

barf…i am now suffering from the memories of reading bill o’reilly’s attempt at fiction back in the nineties with it’s really pervy and disgusting sex scenes…*

*shut up, don’t judge…someone gave it to my dad and he read it and thought i would like it and oh, gross! my dad read it!

 
 

If not, what business does he have playing the guru beyond his narrow sphere

doesn’t need it, because $8 billion…

 
 

an “adventure” yacht named Dr. No

Pfft. A real Bond fan would know to name it “Disco Volante.”

Also, it’s for sale!

 
 

Thanx for the puppies! I love critters, specially young ones, specially dogs.

 
 

Tony Perkins doesn’t actually know who James Bond is, he only named the Yacht Dr No as a protest against Obamacare.

 
 

Pfft. A real Bond fan would know to name it “Disco Volante.”

As would a real Giorgio Moroder fan.

 
 

I must also note that to date there are two actively obnoxious T. Perkinses in the U.S. There’s noted homophobe and sloth molestor Tony Perkins of the AFA, and now this douchenozzle.

I recommend that any other T. Perkinses change their name to prevent a sudden decline into raging asshattery.

 
 

(BS in electrical engineering and computer science; MBA from Harvard.)

It would be an interesting exercise to identify all the people with that combination of degrees and find out if any of them aren’t complete raging asshats.

 
 

I must also note that to date there are two actively obnoxious T. Perkinses in the U.S. There’s noted homophobe and sloth molestor Tony Perkins of the AFA, and now this douchenozzle.

you mean this guy? i fervently hope so because this guy is a jackhole of the first order and if ther were 3 t perkins of this ass-holish magnitude, my faith in humanity would be completely and unrepairably shattered…

 
 

It would be an interesting exercise to identify all the people with that combination of degrees and find out if any of them aren’t complete raging asshats.

One raging asshat went to Harvard Law and became president in 2008…another raging asshat is running a leviathan social media site…

Pretty sure Harvard is a common thread among asshats.

 
 

Pretty sure Harvard is a common thread among asshats.

Well, yeah, but I was noting in particular the combination of EE/CS degree with the Harvard MBA in particular. I’ve known quite a fiew EE/CS people, and lots of people with MBAs. There are asshats among both cohorts, but the combination of glibertarian and men’s-rights nastiness that tends to dominate the EE/CS crowd along with the unbridled avarice that distinguishes the average Harvard MBA is is another kind of monster all together.

 
 

I’ve heard of the idea of paying to vote (in a libertarian comic about cave men) but even there it was One Vote One (Cave)man. That’s the sort of idea that if a character in a fictional work suggested it the author would be accused of creating a strawperson.

Also, I’m still stuck in my house.

 
 

I don’t understand how anyone with an aptitude for engineering wants a damn thing to do with an MBA program. That’s where the athletes and silver spoon brats go.

When I was taking some engineering prerequisite classes, there was a flow chart on the bulletin board of the science hall.

If you can handle the math…

Yes) Go on.

No) Go to business school.

 
 

Battle-O-the-Bands (Way way way behind the thread!)

Also, you can insert an optional ‘The’ in front of band names. I don’t use it in the B-o-t-B, because some names work well with and without ‘The’, so I leave it up to you.

Eye Hammer
Major Perv
Flimsy Charges
Back to Hooterville
Dirty Rotten Takers
Second Banana
Menace in Grenada
Nancy’s Fancy
Crisis Drill
Sister Wives Brother Husbands
Vengeful Ghosts
Chased by a Serial Killer
Never Go Downstairs
Exonerated by DNA
All the Hoopla
Lucid Enough
Ninety Zillion Random People
Hurricane of Pop
Down the Dark Hallway
Horse Trope
Jailhouse Confidante
Pile On

This list only goes to the beginning of OBS’s explantion(*) of how HTML works. I am so far behind on culling band names.

(*) BTW, thanx. I’ve never seen an explanation as concise, clear, and well-organized. I’m guessing you’ve taught this subject? Perhaps at OSU? (Corvallis and all that).

 
 

It also bugs the shit out of me that such a high number of EE/CS people are chauvinistic shitbags. That’s a field of science. Science is supposed to focus on facts and things you can prove. The never-ending persecuted white male thing has zero basis in fact, and therefore should never be parroted by anyone who has the skills and knowledge to learn a science. There are always outliers, climate change deniers and the like, but I think it’s fairly normal for scientists to be pragmatists rather than reactionary windbags.

 
 

Of course I don’t personally KNOW any scientists, so I could be wrong.

 
 

(*) BTW, thanx. I’ve never seen an explanation as concise, clear, and well-organized. I’m guessing you’ve taught this subject? Perhaps at OSU? (Corvallis and all that).

Aw, shucks. And no, I don’t teach.

 
 

First you’d probably get some pushback from “hard” science folks for calling Electrical Engineering and Computer Science grads “scientists” in the first place.

Of course I don’t personally KNOW any scientists, so I could be wrong.

I do. This:

There are always outliers, climate change deniers and the like, but I think it’s fairly normal for scientists to be pragmatists rather than reactionary windbags.

Is fairly accurate. The one thing I’ve noticed is that most scientists I’ve met and worked with are either pretty normal, if a bit geeky. Then when you do run into the (fairly rare) one that’s a reactionary windbag, they don’t half-ass it, they fully embrace their reactionary windbag nature.

 
 

I would say that is a function of being a reactionary windbag, not a function of their particular vocation.

 
 

There’s a fairly big disconnect between scientists and engineers. Engineers get graded not on “is it true?”, but “does it work?”, “is it on time and under budget?”. I think they fail the same way they succeed, they’re used to being the smartest guy in the room, and they forget that once the topic shifts away from their core competence, they are no more informed or likely to be correct than anyone else. Also when they look around in their classrooms and offices they don’t seem to be a lot of women, and they think that is because women are dumb and not because they (male professors, students and engineers) are actively creating a hostile workplace for women.

 
 

I think they fail the same way they succeed, they’re used to being the smartest guy in the room,

hubbkf is not this kind of engineer…he would prefer to NOT be the smartest guy in the room…he pretty much just wants to fly under the radar most of the time…of course, at home, it’s a different story…then he’s the SMARTEST GUY IN THE ENTIRE HOUSE!

 
 

But is he also the only guy in the entire house??

p.s. Dog pictures???

 
 

First you’d probably get some pushback from “hard” science folks for calling Electrical Engineering and Computer Science grads “scientists” in the first place..

In my Data Structures and Algorithms class there were a couple guys who, about 1/4 of the way into the semester, started quietly grousing that we weren’t writing any programs, just doing all this analytical shit. (show that this sorting algorithm runs in O(n log₂n)). Several weeks went by until one of them asked the prof “When are we going to write some programs?” Prof chuckled and said “this is a computer science class. You’re training to be computer scientists, not programmers. Computer scientists don’t actually write many programs. We won’t be doing any programming in this class.”

So there’s that.

 
 

they don’t half-ass it, they fully embrace their reactionary windbag nature.

AT LEAST IT’S AN ETHOS.

 
 

There’s a fairly big disconnect between scientists and engineers. Engineers get graded not on “is it true?”, but “does it work?”, “is it on time and under budget?”.

Actually, yeah, I see that. But when I aspired to be an engineer, I loved every second of a science aspects (physics, chemistry, mechanics) of the discipline. I considered having a scientific mind part of a code of honor among people who are designing the implements and tech for the future of the human race.

 
 

You’re training to be computer scientists, not programmers. Computer scientists don’t actually write many programs. We won’t be doing any programming in this class.”

Yep. Unfortunately, a lot of that stuff seems to now be “grad school” material, and undergrad CS kids are looking for “extra high school to be a code monkey.”

 
 

But is he also the only guy in the entire house??

p.s. Dog pictures???

ha,ha…yes, he is…i will post some dog pics after work tonight…there will likely be a new one with her latest chew-obsession once hubbkf gets home and surveys the carnage…

 
 

Yep. Unfortunately, a lot of that stuff seems to now be “grad school” material, and undergrad CS kids are looking for “extra high school to be a code monkey.”

i took computer science to fulfill my math requirement in college…i were too dum for even the basic algebra class…have i ever mentioned how much i despise math?

 
 

Also when they look around in their classrooms and offices they don’t seem to be a lot of women, and they think that is because women are dumb and not because they (male professors, students and engineers) are actively creating a hostile workplace for women.

Back in the late 1970s, one of my roomies was getting her EE degree. She was, I think, the only woman in her classes, and the shit she regularly had to put up with was appalling. She’d tell us about her classmates coming up behind her and rubbing themselves against her, while the TA did nothing, things like that.

Also, it looked to me that she was being trained to find the answer, while the other three of us in the life sciences (OK, one was officially an English major, but I think it was to mess with people’s heads – she graduated with a BS in Food Chemistry), were learning to look for solutions.

 
 

Unfortunately, a lot of that stuff seems to now be “grad school” material, and undergrad CS kids are looking for “extra high school to be a code monkey.”

Oh thanks for once again reminding me how fucking old I am.

 
 

Oh thanks for once again reminding me how fucking old I am.

I live to serve.

 
 

Oh thanks for once again reminding me how fucking old I am.

Also, too: here are the OSU EE/CS classes for the term. It’s not quite as bad as I remembered, but I’ll let you be the judge. Note also that EE/CS is in the College of Engineering, not the College of Science, whatever that means.

 
 

I’m ashamed to say I share the same major as Dubya.

I am happy to say I got free and got pho.

 
 

BS in electrical engineering

That would be me. Of course I forgot most of it the day I showed up for pilot training.

 
 

Mother made me gay…never heard THAT one before.

 
 

happy VD to all those not jaded enough to have come to hate this day….

 
 

That list looks, at first glance, like they’re training programmers. When I went to school CS was in the college of Science, tied pretty tightly to the math department. Lots of my math profs and CS profs hung out together. My CS curriculum was definitely more about the science, less about the engineering or practical aspects. The basic idea was, if you need to know how to do something in particular, solve any particular problem, you can figure out how to do it. My next elder brother majored in Engineering Science. He said of the difference between that and a straight engineering curriculum pretty much the same thing.

 
 

That list looks, at first glance, like they’re training programmers.

Yep, that’s what I see in it too. Universities in the US now are all about “synergy with business” and “monetizing invention” and “training the next generation of workers” and much, much less about seeking knowledge. This has been happening ever since federal funding for basic research started to dry up, but it’s gotten really bad in the last 5 years or so.

 
 

BTW, Hippy Valentin’s Sadlies. I love you all. Totes heterosexually.

 
 

re: BS in electrical engineering

I can do that – the problem is with short circuit so more stat VARs aren’t gonna help. You need to be running a power factor of at least 0.95 and then we might consider analyzing past the 7% distributed generation on feeders rule.

 
 

Yeah, I don’t know doodly about elec. As in not enough even to be dangerous, lol.

 
 

I remember it being far more math than any person should have to do in one lifetime.

 
 

BTW, since we are again talking about the mess of misogyny and chauvinist sexism that is engineering (which I do not deny) let me again remind folks that my field is not the only guilty one.

Surprisingly, the proportions of respondents mentioning they had experienced harassment increased over time: none of those holding Ph.D.’s dating to 1970 or earlier mentioned harassment (over the course of their careers), compared to 5 percent in the 1970-79 and 1980-89 cohorts, 8 percent in the 1990-99 cohort, and 10 percent of those who received their degrees from 2000-2,” the report said.

 
 

I took metallurgical engineering in undergrad. While other departments were making strides towards more balanced gender representation in enrolment, the mining and metallurgy departments were pretty much sausage fests – even compared to elec. There was without a doubt a very substantial amount of sexism. But my department felt fucking enlightened compared to those fucking jerkwads majoring in History. Maybe this was an outlier, anecdotal etc etc. But holy shit those guys were bad.

This is not to excuse engineering of its sexism and institutional gender bias and the very significant undertones of harassment. That is fucking bullshit and I condemn it. But I also feel unfairly targeted when egregious bullshit perpetrated by others gets a bye.

 
 

Trying to dig up links and data to gauge women in engineering and women in history. Both searches turn up bupkes useful numbers. Women in engineering gets you links mostly to programs designed to encourage women to get into engineering. History gets way more hits to history as opposed to the study of history. Searching for women historians and female historians gets you to David Starkey, who is also quite racist.

The first step is admitting you have a problem. STEM fields, well at least the forces which govern higher education in STEM, acknowledge that women are way way underrepresented. Historians, who one might imagine would understand these numbers better, don’t care unless it’s got something to do with WWII.

 
 

Don’t mean to unfairly target anybody. I work in IT, we all have our share of misogynistic asshats, some fields like ours just seem to really attract them, or maybe they’re just more vocal/comfortable here for some reason. Or something.

 
 

I majored in History and personally I never ran into problems or even heard about any problems from other female students at my school. First time I’ve heard about that problem in a History Department. Maybe it was just that school?

 
 

At the bastion of ivy shaded privilege this jerkwad got his history degree the dept had a rep of being a good place for women, both students and profs. Pre-meds were the jerkiest sexists in my school.

 
 

If I ventured in the slipstream
Between the viaducts of your dream
Where immobile steel rims crack
And the ditch in the back roads stop
Could you find me?
Would you kiss my eyes?
To lay me down
In silence easy
To be born again […]
In another world
In another time
Got a home on high
Ain’t nothing but a stranger in this world
I’m nothing but a stranger in this world
I got a home on high
In another land
So far away
So far away
Way up in the heaven

 
 

His track on the latest Daft Punk album is great.

Even better, someone mashed it up with Space’s Magic Fly.

 
 

Battle-O-the-Bands

Gee, this list only takes the thread down to bbfk’s description What Maeve Has Chewed. Also, when I look for names, I pretend I’m baxk in the studio or maybe a promoter who must print up Battle-O-the-Bands posters ….so I pass on band names with cuss words. (Hey, if I didn’t use SOME filter, the lists would be twice as long…)

It’s Your Brain
On Off Flag
Other Protocols
Delimiting Slash
Doohickys
Tell the Parser
You’ve Forgotten Already
Your Lawn Is Fail
Like an Onion
Butterfingery Reasons
Grade A Doofus
Case Insensitive
Top Level Domain
Scumbag Minion
Fight for a Tray
Delay of Execution
Consistent Identity
Dance Little Monkeys Dance
All the Tools
Bundled Services
Dropping My Landline
Combover
Loose in Desperation
Better Toupee
Emaciated Weasel
It’s a Marmoset
50 Person Entourage
My House Is Imprisoned
Stack of Tickets
Felony Eluding
Spill on the Ice
Speaking of Russians
Toss Me a Lollipop
Communist Grandparents
Hypothetical Story

 
 

CRA: Where is that from? Is it yours?

 
 

No, sir, that’s Van Morrison’s song “Astral Weeks,” as transcribed by somebody on the internet.

 
 

BotB:

What Maeve Has Chewed

 
 

I don’t buy

1.) If you buy the thesis that a big jump in high-end inequality has been mostly driven by technology and globalization, then the alternative is more equality, perhaps, but less innovation here and more extreme poverty abroad. Now that’s a disturbing scenario.

Income inequality is driven by the range of forces influencing wealth creation and DISTRIBUTION.

Innovation =/= technology, or globalization.

It’s dishonest to suggest a direct relation between technological innovation and either wealth creation or its unequal distribution in favor of a minority who are seen to benefit.

This “big jump in high-end inequality” owes, now as always, to certain parties’ control of relevant institutions, exercised in self-serving ways.

Consider innovation, creativity, originality. In the absence of an intellectual property regime, ideas are like Jefferson’s taper. See our legal systems’ grotesque, clumsy, forceful, incoherent means of hammering these square pegs into round holes amenable to capitalism. Jefferson, at least, saw such measures as provisional, merely artificial, having no basis in natural law:

“He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. That ideas should freely spread from one to another over the globe, for the moral and mutual instruction of man, and improvement of his condition, seems to have been peculiarly and benevolently designed by nature, when she made them, like fire, expansible over all space, without lessening their density in any point, and like the air in which we breathe, move, and have our physical being, incapable of confinement or exclusive appropriation. Inventions then cannot, in nature, be a subject of property. Society may give an exclusive right to the profits arising from them, as an encouragement to men to pursue ideas which may produce utility, but this may or may not be done, according to the will and convenience of the society, without claim or complaint from anybody.”

 
 

Showing my ignorance. My Van Morrison is way too limited. Love Into the Mystic. Brown-Eyed Girl came out when I was a junior in Lawrence High School; my very first ever love had brown hair, sweet suzy with her bandaged thumb.

She died nine years ago. The Leonard Cohen song (as sung by Judy Collins) rips me up; she first gave herself one night on a the bank of the Iowa River.

[long pause]

I’d better bail from this comment. Thanx for the link, CRA. I’m off to listen. May not be back to the thread for awhile. Got some sharp pains inside.

 
 

Hey, glad to hear rah my experience with university History departments was atypical.

 
 

“I’m more of a man than any liberal,” she said.

Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.

 
 

New one. More music pron.

Sorry conservative brain case, but management frowns upon Coulter adams apple gags.

 
 

Computer scientists don’t actually write many programs. We won’t be doing any programming in this class.”

Hah. Programming students use compilers… comp. sci students *write* compilers.

 
 

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