Two-Minute Townhall


But I got no food, I got no time to go to the supermarket. (It’s not that I couldn’t make time, it’s more I get confused when I get there.)

Shorter Michael Medved: Atheists despise people of faith because we serve as a stark reminder that nonbelievers will spend eternity in hell. But we also make great neighbors!

Shorter Jerry Newberry: Downtown Kabul’s nearly as big a shithole as Manhattan, and is full of inhuman butchers who’d kill us all as surely as they kill their own.

Shorter Paul Greenberg: Would you like to read my impression of Inspector Clouseau?

Shorter Walter Williams: If black people were permitted to work for less than minimum wage, white people would be more likely to hire them.

Shorter Paul Weyrich: Former Sen. John Danforth is an elitist know-it-all who mocks people of faith while he’s sipping cocktails at the country club and plotting the demise of the Republican Party. He is also stupid.

Shorter Ben Shapiro: Republicans were wrong to shield Mark Foley, but Democrats have no moral authority to criticize them. After all, he was practicing what they preach!

Shorter Kathleen Parker: There’s plenty of blame to go around in the Mark Foley scandal, which is essentially bipartisan. Also, Democrats plan to install a woman as House Speaker.

Shorter Michelle Malkin: I blame no one for the actions of Congressional predators but the predators themselves, including lawmakers on both sides of the aisle who turned a blind eye to this disgusting behavior.

Shorter Terence Jeffrey: Bob Woodward discloses in his new book a “secret” report that shows violence is escalating in Iraq, but this report was released months ago. Who knows what other lies this book contains?

Shorter Linda Chavez: Whenever a Republican gets caught up in a sex scandal, he faces responsibilty and accepts the consequences. Democrats re-elect their sexual predators and give them standing ovations.

Shorter Brent Bozell III: Sure, what Mark Foley did is bad and all, but Democrats have committed a higher number of sex crimes. Especially Bill Clinton!

Shorter Tony Blankley: There are several reasons why Dennis Hastert should resign, including ethics.

Shorter Austin Bay: American intelligence officers should release every scrap of positive news they receive, even when it endangers sources, to balance negative press reports.

Shorter John Stossel: Now that DDT’s legal again, I’ll smear some on myself next time I go for a hike or enjoy a picnic lunch.

Shorter Rich Lowry: If anything, Democrats should like Rumsfeld, who’s thus far refused to obliterate Iraq at great political expense to the president.

Shorter Roger Schlesinger: I have some more advice about buying your own home.

Shorter Maggie Gallagher: Even if Democrats are making political hay from the Mark Foley scandal, I’ll vote for them if Dennis Hastert doesn’t resign.


Comments: 38


First comment!

I skimmed the Walter Williams article, and I’m always amazed how I can think “it can’t possibly be that bad” and it is that bad.


Well, we all know that Democrats stand to lose far more than they could gain from this scandal, because voters turn on Democrats if they show any hint whatsoever of exploiting their opponents’ hypocrisy. Which only happened because Democrats didn’t do enough to prevent it, and may have even had a hand in setting Foley up.

That’s what Republicans tell me, so it must be true.

LA Confidential Pantload

Strange….at first I thought that Austin Bay was referencing the same al-Qaeda letter that Abu Aardvark commented on. Naaah, couldn’t be.


Michael Medved is quite a logician. Atheists do not believe in God, nonbelievers go to Hell (in the minds of believers), therefore atheists hate Christians because we are jealous they’re going to heaven. Really, c’mon, admit it atheists; you know we’re right, in the dark corners of your mind.
It’s hard to believe that’s really his argument. It reminds me of the fact more americans believe in the devil than in angels, despite the devil being a fallen angel.
If conservative Christians are right about heaven and hell they should realize many lefties will be there with them, because our hell will be their heaven.
Or, maybe, the Bible isn’t a description of the nature of reality. That kinda makes more sense, but then I’m in atheistic denial.


I say Maggie Gallagher is lying about voting democrat…


Heaven! Sheesh. We can see 15+ Billion Light Years in ever direction. Have directly mapped the cosmos at 300,000 years after the big bang (COBE). Imaged the earliest galaxies (Hubble Deep Field). Understand even the pre-inflation universe (Guth). Just exactly where is this supposed place. These idiots just give me a headache…



Shorter Walter Williams: Racism doesn’t exist, because I don’t have a word for it.

(I really just don’t get this guy. At all.)



Ah ha, I am right!


Gary, you’re never right.


Oh, I don’t know jeff, Foley may not have had a hard age cut-off for cyber sexploitation, it’s quite possible one, or perhaps even more than one, of the vast number of pages might have been 18.


Gary gary gary. You and sludge and foley are all going down together.



Wait- Malkin’s seems reasonable


Seems to me Malkin is stretching for truthiness. Like Debbie Howell trying to say Abramoff was giving to Democrats, too.

Michael J. "Orange Mike" Lowrey

I won’t try to recapitulate centuries of theology for “Mikey”; I will just say that I hope his atheism is founded on better premises than his total incomprehension of the concept of heaven in Christian beliefs.


Um. In at least one series of IMs, Foley asked the other party how old he was, and he said was not yet 18. The page may have been lying, but Foley continued conversations with a person he believed to be under 18.

If the page was over age and consenting, bully for Foley. However, since “several” pages coming forward about events over the past decade, I have my doubts that all of his targets fit those criteria.


And I won’t try to, um, recapitulate, the fact that those centuries of theology were all just people making things up. I hope your theism is founded on better premises than your incomprehension of the scientific method. (And fear of death.)


If the page was over age and consenting, bully for Foley. However, since “several� pages coming forward about events over the past decade, I have my doubts that all of his targets fit those criteria.

And at least one of them complained calling it “sick sick sick” and demanded it stop as did his parents, so at least one contact was anything but consenting.

Hysterical Woman

I don’t understand Paul Greenberg’s article. Dear Consultant, English only is stupid. Dear Linguist, Ha! I love Peter Sellers! I assume the first letter is one someone sent to him in response to an article promoting English only, but is the second letter his response?


Thanks, jrod. You pretty much nailed it. Dude, my atheism is based on there being absolutely NO fucking evidence that anything about your invisible superhero can be measured, quantified or observed. You wanna live your life around unsupportable faith, tell me one thing – what’s wrong with “Thor” or “Zeus” or “Cthulu”? What do you know about magical mythical beings that makes the rest of the theological world stupid? I’m thinking you’ve been hoodwinked, and you need to examine your belief system…



hee. I KNEW that Drudge was Gary’s source. And he just quoted him directly. I LOVE IT.


Darn it all, mikey. Why do you hate the Pastafarians?


You just know that when Medved imagines non-believes burning in hell he gets an erection… such as it is.


Would the Pastafarians be like Coach Dave’s spaghetti pushers?

By the way, Jack Danforth is a prince, and Paul Weyrich is an asshole.


Gjdodger, I think the Pastafarians should best be likened to spaghetti flingers.

The FSM (bless His Noodley Appendage) does FLY, after all.



all of these articles read like kaye grogan ESL termn papers


“Ah ha, I am right! ”

Gary, if I catch you around my kids I’m getting out a shotgun.


Paul Weyrich also said today on npr’s Talk of The Nation that homosexuals have a greater tendency to think about sex, regarding Foley, and in the process of trying to defend his flip flop on demanding “Denny’s” resignation. He was too hasty, he should have called Denny and after he spoke to him he believes him. Think he maybe talked with Kenny M. as well? Michele Norrise challenged his comment mildly, calling it his opinion, and he insisted it was fact. Scary damn monkey.


Sounds like they’re trying another torture bill style roll. Get some folks to pretend they’re going off the farm, and then give in to their “wild” demands (i.e. can Hastert). Instant reasonability.


Michael Medved is stupider than my cat. And my cat is pretty fucking stupid.

Gary Ruppert: You have never been right about anything. Ever. I’m telling you again, get some help. You are not right in the head, and you must realize that by now. And don’t be trolling over at Glenn Greenwald’s. You are not smart enough to play in that league.


All I wanna do is go far away
And see things I’ve never seen before
Like the Pyramids
They weren’t built in a day you know …

//caught the beta band reference


Pace Medved:
“Everybody should believe in something.
I believe I’ll have another drink.”
– W.C. Fields


Don’t approve of the word but, Walt W. would have been a house “nigger” that oversaw the punishments of the less intelligent/fortunate. Can’t find it in me to hate him but he sure disgists me.


You write -“Shorter Ben Shapiro: Republicans were wrong to shield Mark Foley, but Democrats have no moral authority to criticize them. After all, he was practicing what they preach!”
But miss his salient point-

“studies show that homosexuals are disproportionately prone to pedophilia”.

Republicans were remiss for not noting this truism ala studies. Good god the guy is an obvious homo and a child molester! So what if demoncrats are all homo-lovers, who cares? We are supposed to be the party of moral values and we got a homo childmolester on our side? Thats it. im not voting.


Well, if worldnetdaily says so….!

zennurse, I was wondering if anyone was going to mention Weyrich’s comments on NPR yesterday (on All Things Considered, He came right out and said that gays are “preoccupied with sex,” and worse, in the next sentence conflated gay sex with adult/child sexual interactions — as though pedophilia and Foley’s behavior are typical for all homosexual men. The interviewer called him out on it, saying that many listeners would take strong exception to his characterization of homosexuality. Weyrich said he didn’t care what listeners thought, that it’s not just his opinion but a fact supported by psychology professionals “who have to deal with them.” It was fucking awful. Not that I think NPR should censor, but it was really shocking to listen to Weyrich spew his homophobic, bigoted bullshit. David Brooks never says stuff like that!


I beg to differ, anniegary:

[R]esearchers who study sexual disorders say that homosexuality is not the same as pedophilia and similar conditions, in which an adult is attracted to children or teens.

Although no large-scale national research has been done, several small studies find homosexuals are no more likely than heterosexuals to molest kids, says San Diego psychologist Robert Geffner, editor of The Journal of Child Sexual Abuse, a professional research journal.

There’s also this:

[T]he great majority of adults who perpetrate sexual abuse are male; sexual abuse of children by adult women is extremely rare (Finkelhor & Russell, 1984; Jones & MacFarlane, 1980; Sarafino, 1979). Moreover, the overwhelming majority of child sexual abuse cases involve an adult male abusing a young female (Jenny, Roesler, & Poyer, 1994; Jones & MacFarlane, 1980). Available evidence reveals that gay men are no more likely than heterosexual men to perpetrate child sexual abuse (Groth & Birnbaum, 1978; Jenny et al., 1994; Sarafino, 1979).


Yeah, someone, I think Richard Viguerie, reiterated that sentiment today on On Point, saying that since Foley was gay he never should have been around young boys. Unfuckingbelievable.


Reiterated Weyrich’s sentiment. Travis’s post wasn’t there when I started, I had to check name spelling!


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