The Gospel according to Adam

Adam Yoshida, one of those liberal Canadians, offers the following in response to someone who argued that he had missed Jesus’ message of love after watching Mel Gibson’s What’s, ehm… funny about Biggus Dickus?:

As for the message, you can love your enemy [anyone not George W. Bush or gay —Sadly, No!] and see the need to kill him at the same time.

Come back tomorrow, when Adam explains what the problem with homosexuality is:

Like a foot fetishist, willing to place themselves in extreme danger to satisfy their bizarre desires, the homosexual is a sunshine patriot, placing their “right” to use the state to legitimacy their so-called “lifestyle” above the infinitely more important issue of the defense of the American Republic.

Fortunately, feet are not yet allowed to marry.

 

Comments: 12

 
 
 

How very odd. Does he realize that not one of those statements makes even marginal sense? I suppose he might have been able to reason either point (he would of course be wrong), but those statements are just incoherent.

 
 

I really feel that Adam is an example of what happens when governments cut funding for mental health services.

 
 

Like a foot fetishist, willing to place themselves in extreme danger to satisfy their bizarre desires, the homosexual is a sunshine patriot…

Oh, boy, it’s like Shark Week on the Discovery Channel.

Like other predatory creatures of the deep, the homosexual swims in perpetual wakefulness to satisfy its enormous hunger …

 
 

Did he really use “legitimacy” as a verb? (I’m not giving him the hit to find out)

 
 

Listen, it’s tough being an enormously obese closet homosexual. Read through my archives. You’ll get a pretty good sense of how obsessed I am with homosexuals, anuses, anal cavities, anal sex, condomless anal sex, gay anal blowjobs, three-way anal sex–

Oh — oh, sorry, I got a little sidetracked there.

Anyway, I don’t really have any friends and I’m angry at the world that’s marginalized me. I’m fat. I have acne scars. People made fun of me in high school. I have a tendancy to sweat a lot when I talk to other people face to face. And I’m in the closet. Oh, and I really hate my parents, especially my Uncle Gus because he used to touch me on the privates when he “potty trained” me. So cut me some slack.

I don’t really believe all of the hate I spew onto the Internet. What I’m doing is what psychologists call “seeking negative attention.” Whenever you adults with jobs pay attention to my antics and call me nasty names, like “Nazi” or “fatty” or “fascist fuckbag of shit,” it allows me to temporarily stop thinking about me masterbating furiously to gay porn and then crying and feel dirty and ashamed afterwards. So don’t pay attention to me.

 
 

how do foot fetishists place themselves in danger?

 
 

what the heck? How does being gay prevent the defence of the American Emp…er Republic? Is this a new twist to the Chewbacca defence?

 
 

The interesting this is that Mel Gibson crucified an animatronic Jesus himself. According to an Italian fellow. (search terms: animitronic, jesus, gibson

Another interesting thing, I think is, that many protestants that I know, look down upon catholics. Martin Luther freed them from the papacy. Yet, all these protestants have the same bible that came out of the Nicea Council where the catholic church decided which texts became canonical.

It is obvious that Jesus tried to force God’s hand to bring about God’s kingdom on earth, and that is why he was crucified. All the dogma has only obscured this. Paul was a bum and his sin was first stealing the church from Jesus’ brother James, and secondly stealing from the church coffers. Whenever I am in church and I hear a fellow say; ‘Let us turn to the letter of Paul…’ I stand up and walk out.

Another thing that Gibson does not address is how did Jesus become King of the Jews? I believe this is because of his marriage to Mary. She was the descendant of David, and the monarchy passed through her. Mary was impregnated by Herod’s son Anti-Pater.

It is all a big joke to those that make some dough off it, but hell, take a look at what they didn’t include in that Nicea Council canonical gospel.

Gibson totally missed the mark by going with the safe Nicea Council text, and the writings of a 16th, I think, century nun. Though, he did not stop there, where, I ask, in what gospel canonical or not, did Mary ever go to the Romans and beg for Jesus’ life?

To end this rant: Gibson does not know a damned thing about biblical scholarship, and his film while artistic, is a mess. The joke I guess is on the Christers who think that Mel is bringing them the truth. ‘It is as it was,’ indeed.

 
 

“Adam Yoshida”, it really IS creepy how gay-sex obsessed people like your namesake are. As a practicing homosexual, sucking cock is as every-day normal as the sun rising.

The only ostensibly *snicker* straight *snicker* righty sex-afraid pundit that is remotely cute is Ben Shapiro. Otherwise, you see the pictures of Adam or Kyle Williams and go “Ah, you don’t have to worry about getting laid by ANYONE, so you can write your shit knowing it won’t come back to haunt you in a dating situation, since you won’t ever have a dating situation”.

 
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Don’t you all dare to question him! After all, he’s a Harvard Online man! He’s like a genius or something!!

 
 

Would-be warrior
Too fat, and Canadian:
Adam Yoshida

 
 

Yeah, he’s “like” a genius, in that many geniuses are bipedal life forms that need oxygen to breathe, and that gives them something in common with him.
Beyond that….

 
 

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