Imagine this face across a crowded bar, watching, waiting… You’re welcome for those nightmares.

Selwyn (Dem) Duke (Boys), Rue the Day America!:
Where Serena Williams is right about rape

It’s a busy time at the Cerberus household. Because of the many exciting victories I had in the genetic lottery, I have a number of events that apply to me or close loved ones. I’ve already completed the Bisexual BBQ (partner) and Trans March (clearly no one I know personally). And for the next two days, I’ll be smashing together an Asexual Pride Event (me), Dyke March (me and partner are in a homoromantic pairing), Pansexual Pride (partner again), and Pride Pride (now with extra pride).

So far, it’s a pretty amazing experience. Events have been bigger than usual, the diversity of the community is on display, more people are supporting on the sidelines and participating in the marches, and everyone is happy and excited about recent victories. It’s Gay Christmas and that means that queer family and friends come in from around the world and come together. It creates a nice high that would take a truly horrible e-

Wait, what was that title for today’s post again?

(TRIGGER WARNING: Rape apologetics)

Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):

• Serena Williams is right, the Stuebenville rape victim deserved to be raped. Frankly, if women don’t want to be raped, they need to stop thinking they are full human beings who are allowed to do things like go out drinking or being at parties like their male counterparts can do without worrying about being raped and then blamed for it.

I-I-I-

Happy shiny trananrchists. Happy shiny tranarchists. Need to stay in my happy pla…

Fuck it.

So yeah, you know what never gets old? Apologetics and defenses of rape that blame the victim for thinking they could do the various things that regular people do like… well, in the example of a friend of mine who was raped in the middle of the day recently, go to the grocery store, or in the example of me, go to a geek conference and sit at a panel, or in the example of my primary and secondary partners, yes, go to a party*.

If you want to know why lies seem increasingly common, it’s because we persecute people for honesty.

A good example is the recent statements tennis star Serena Williams made about the Steubenville rape case. Commenting on the matter in a Rolling Stone interview, the Wimbledon champion opined:

Do you think it was fair, what they [the assailants] got? They did something stupid, but I don’t know. I’m not blaming the girl, but if you’re a 16-year-old and you’re drunk like that, your parents should teach you – don’t take drinks from other people. She’s 16, why was she that drunk where she doesn’t remember? It could have been much worse. She’s lucky. Obviously I don’t know, maybe she wasn’t a virgin, but she shouldn’t have put herself in that position, unless they slipped her something, then that’s different.

And conservatives wonder why we view them as hostile to women’s rights.

Sigh, it really takes a… special amount of investment in our fetid rape culture to look at Serena Williams’s horrendous defense of the Steubenville rapists and go, “no, I think I can make that even more insulting to every single person who has ever been sexually assaulted.

Now, where Williams went wrong was in questioning the fairness of the sentence.

Clearly the only thing wrong with her statements wherein she argued that getting drunk in a location with rapists makes you a slut who deserves to get raped and rapists who rape sluts shouldn’t get jail time is the bit about sentencing.

The two assailants, high-school football players Trent Mays and Ma’lik Richmond, received, respectively, two years and one year in juvenile detention for the extreme sexual abuse of a 16-year-old girl, abuse punctuated by disgusting, evil attitudes and commentary.

It’s worth noting this. The most dominant commentary of the event is that these two “poor men” were horribly wronged to receive a sentence of two and one years for such a clear-cut and drawn-out rape of a girl who couldn’t possibly have given consent. Meanwhile, like all rape victims who try and press charges for a crime we claim as a society is illegal, the victim was abused, harassed, shamed publicly for being a “slut”, and so on and so forth.

And people wonder why so few rape victims feel comfortable reporting to the police, especially under the usual circumstances of rape (from a romantic partner, usually in a private location where it is literally your word against theirs).

In my view, they got off easy.

Sigh… Selwyn, would you please show me your “but”?

But isn’t Williams correct in saying that the girl also made it easy?

There it is.

Okay, I know I don’t need to point this out for the reality-based crowd, but no, there is nothing a rape victim has done to make a sexual assault “easy”. Not drinking heavily, not walking in dark areas, not wearing short skirts, not being alone or vulnerable with guys. Without the presence of a rapist, none of those behaviors make it possible in any way, shape, or form to get raped. It’s fundamentally impossible. And populations under low risk of sexual assault (such as heterosexual males) get to enjoy those activities indiscriminately without worrying that a horde of assholes are waiting to blame them if some rapist decides to take advantage.

No, what does make rape “easy” is the complete lack of social repercussions for being a motherfucking rapist. Example A is of course the Steubenville case. The rapists went to how many parties carrying their victim around like a Real Doll without even the slightest bit of worry that anyone would intervene to stop them or that they in any way could ever be at risk for actually suffering consequences for it. Speaking only about me, my partner, my girlfriend, and my partner’s girlfriend, we’ve all been raped at public events were there were people who could have intervened, should have intervened, but didn’t. When that friend who was assaulted recently reported her case, the investigating police officer spent more time trying to dissuade her from reporting the rape or chiding her for not reporting faster and more thoroughly than actually giving a damn about someone feeling free to rape people in front of supermarkets. Overall, the story continues again and again, we as a society just don’t give a fuck about condemning rape, treating rape like the serious crime it is, and are eager to come up with any sort of excuse why a survivor “deserved it” by doing something stupid that a “smart” person wouldn’t have done. And we wonder why rapists feel free committing their crimes in public places surrounded by people in a way that say, necrophiliacs don’t.

But hey, what do I know? I’m sure my wanton asexual nature, irresistible t-shirt/shorts combo, and vulnerable soberness just proved too much for my particular rapist and drove him to uncontrollable animalistic lust.

Before anyone thinks such opinions are the result of some kind of tennis-induced dementia (I have quite a history in the game myself),

Yes, I’m sure we all blame the game of tennis for those attitudes.

Hey Rolling Stones writer, what did you say after Serena Williams decided to flush any possible public support down the drain?

Serena’s Hannity-like take on the case isn’t her only rightward lean. She is baffled by the tax rate in France.

Well, well, well, fancy that.

let me place this in perspective. If I’m falling-down drunk and walk through a dangerous neighborhood at 2 AM, wearing gold jewelry and flashing cash, and I get knocked over the head and robbed, will anyone shrink from stating that I imperiled myself via poor decisions?

And yet, if you were to be robbed in such a fashion, the police would respond quickly to your case and wouldn’t spend most of their time trying to argue that “are you sure you didn’t know this person personally and wasn’t consenting to giving away all your money” and arguing that since you gave money to charity once that you must be the type of person to give all your money away at the drop of a hat and so no crime must have been committed.

Nor would anyone treat you as anything other than a robbery victim and if your case went to trial, there would be little chatter about your “poor decision making” or habit of fiscal irresponsibility, but rather more about how you were robbed and who robbed you.

Which is why most rape apologists are smart enough not to make that analogy. Also, yeah, I can say clearly that when there was a rash of smartphone thefts in the poorer district of the city, there wasn’t the same influx of blame towards those victims for having “poor decision making” by flashing their expensive luxury item in a neighborhood where that sort of cash could buy food for a month.

Also worth pointing out about this analogy? How much women’s bodies and “sex” are still viewed as a transactional commodity by fuckwads like Selwyn. I mean, flash around a Rolex, flash around a living breathing woman around, of course someone’s going to “take” it. But again, it’s only women dressing “slutty” that causes rapes, not at all how we view rape, sex, and women as a society. No, no.

This isn’t synonymous with saying I asked for it any more than a person with a poor lifestyle asks for a heart attack. But just like the eating of too much saturated fat, my drunkenness would be a risk factor.

How?

I mean, yes, you are using a poorly thought-out analogy to try and hide your “how to blame the victim 101” cheat sheet recitation from the teacher in charge of the exam, but how exactly would your drunkenness have been a risk factor for being robbed in the absence of a thief?

Would some law-abiding citizen have been like… well, I wasn’t going to risk having cops investigating me over a handful of dollars, but now that he’s clearly inebriated, I’ve always wanted a hundred dollars?

Or is this related to the usual Calvinist “bad things wouldn’t happen to me, because I’m a good person who is prepared” wishful thinking that imagines a mugger will be any less surprising or repel safely if one is sober rather than drunk?

So correct me if I’m wrong, but there’s still something called “acting stupidly.” And unless there has been a late addendum to the Bible, God has not yet granted man a special dispensation from the consequences of it.

Ah, the latter. Mystery solved.

The point is that warnings and wise counsel parents used to routinely give young girls –

Do nothing but target the population with the least ability to prevent rape and make them solely reponsible for the actions of another group of people entirely, often teaching the sort of victim-blaming narratives, the girls will use against themselves if they happen to get sexually assaulted.

Oh, sorry, did I interrupt? I think I might have interrupted you there.

“Dress modestly,” “Don’t go to a man’s home alone,” etc. –

Which is fantastic advice in a world where the outfit of the survivor at all affected likelihood of rape (shock of shocks, cultures that have the strictest “modesty” requirements for women also have the highest rapes, a fact often cited by these same fucks anytime they want to argue that liberals are hypocrites for not being pro-genocide-against-muslim-people). Or if the majority of rapes didn’t occur through someone that the survivor knew personally such as a current or former romantic partner, close friend, or family member. Also a world in which it made perfect sense that women be prevented from having full lives because telling men not to rape is just too hard!

Damnitt, I interrupted again, didn’t I? I’m sorry, I’ll work on it. Continue.

are now frowned upon in the name of political correctness.

Thinking political correctness is anything other than “if you are an asshole, some people might call you out on it, even though back in the day no one would have dared because of your relative social standing”. Take a shot.

Instead, we instill them with the notion that the sexes are the same

OH MY GOD! Truly, we are the real monsters here…

and, by golly, if something isn’t dangerous for a guy, there’s no reason why you should have to “modify your behavior” in that department.

Yes.

That is 100% correct. If a guy shouldn’t be “expected” to limit his wardrobe, avoid walking alone, being out at parties and bar environments, etc… because of the actions of some criminal fuckwits, then why the fuck should women? We don’t say to men, hey, guys, you might get raped, so stay away from bars. Fuck, we don’t even say, you might rape someone, so stay away. Men are never expected to change their behavior in any way in response to the existence of rape, so why should women?

Oh, right, because rape, or at least the social tolerance of rape, is a very thinly veiled terrorism threat designed to try and threaten women out of participating fully in mixed-sex spaces by the type of person who would be threatened by that.

It’s the reason that advice about rape is always “didn’t you know better than to be in those spaces” and why rape is most common in spaces most invested in patriarchal structures or with people who are most firm about there being a DIFFERENCE between men and women.

And why pencil-dicked little twerps like Selwyn Duke end up giving up the game when those uppity rape survivors don’t just go back in their little cages and accept their quiet lives of desperation and remaining silent about how they don’t like it when their husband puts it there.

Equality! Interestingly, though, we don’t apply this thinking to less politically incorrect crimes.

For instance, just consider this passage from WiseGeek on how to avoid being mugged:

Because muggings tend to follow certain patterns, people can avoid victimhood by traveling smart. Try to avoid being alone on the street or on public transit between 8:00 PM and 2:00 AM. Travel with a group after dark, and stick to well lighted areas where there are other people around. Make sure that your valuables are hidden and secured, as well. Keep things like cell phones, cameras, and personal music players out of sight and out of temptation.

Is also terrible victim-blaming advice designed to sell the illusion of safety to hyper-paranoid yuppies who want a “technique” to gain some agency in a crime (in this manner like rape) that robs someone of said agency and violates the expected social norms in a public environment.

…

Also, what the fuck does that have to do with the “of course women should be expected to follow X rules, while men can do whatever the fuck they want” shit you were selling a second ago.

It’s not like only men are given this condescending bullshit advice and everyone is chiding them for being “theft-bait”, while women can stagger around in dark alleys at 2:00 AM never worrying about some random mugging threat.

Wow, a lot of behavior modifications recommended there. And could you imagine if you told women that to decrease the chances of rape they should make sure their “valuables are hidden” and “out of sight and out of temptation”?

Yes, ladies, you are a piece of property, like a car stereo or a watch. It’s best to keep you out of sight or else who knows what might happen to you if an opportunist walks by.

So remember dudes, always put your woman property back in the dashboard before you lock up your car. It’ll prevent someone from “stealing” it.

You have no idea how much I wished I wasn’t just stating his exact point here.

I mean, it’s almost as if they’re saying it’s your fault if you get mugged.

It’s almost like that “mugging advice” is also victim-blaming horseshit!

This brings us to the real War on Women: the ones waging it here are actually those who, in the name of a twisted leftist agenda, seek to suppress information that would help women more safely negotiate life. So, young people, I’ll tell you what you need to hear:

Liberals who don’t tell bitches that they are worthless property who deserved to get raped are the real sexists.

1. Good things don’t happen when you get falling-down drunk. And if you have to drink to have fun, you have a problem.

Never drink. Drinking is unladylike and if you engage in it, then some poor “defender of propriety” might have to put your uppity bitch ass in its proper place, if you catch my drift.

If your social circle is engaging in booze-related activities and bonding that way, merely accept your job as good-times killjoy, preparing for a life of punishing those younger than you that you perceive as “getting to enjoy what I couldn’t”. This is the true woman’s way.

2. Girls, don’t think you can keep up with the guys in the drinking department. Heavier people can metabolize more of any substance; consequently, an amount of alcohol that a man 50 pounds heavier than you can “hold” may be enough to cause you serious impairment.

No, seriously, NEVER drink. And if you must drink, in defiance to our rather specific warning, then remember to drink in proper lady-sized proportions and never ever imbibe enough alcohol to become intoxicated. After all, ladies, the more “man-like” you decide to be by drinking more alcohol, the more rapists you auto-magically summon into your surrounding area, driven to blood-frenzy by the smell of your alcoholic breath.

3. Girls, also know that if you get inebriated, your chances of being raped will be greater. And the increase in probability is directly proportional to your degree of drunkenness. This is simply an inescapable truth.

Oh shit, jumped the gun there. I wasn’t expecting my snark to be your literal argument.

Also, if it’s an “inescapable truth” that men will rape a woman who drinks alcohol, then maybe the correct solution wouldn’t be banning women from alcohol (and it’s worth noting that in the case of mine, my girlfriend’s, my partner’s girlfriend’s, and one of my partner’s rapes we were completely sober), but rather banning men from public spaces where alcohol might be imbibed. I mean, women aren’t the ones committing crimes when a touch of booze hits their lips or someone else’s. If men really have no self-control and are such slavering rape beasts that the slightest sign of impairment is a green light to commit a horrific crime, then they really shouldn’t be let outside at all.

Lucky for everyone, there is no such “inescapable truth” and most men understand consent and do not view sex (as Selwyn does) as a “game” in which a man is seeking to rob a woman of her “virtue” by taking advantage of any weakness he can exploit, but rather as something two people can explore together, with all proper consent maintained.

And women not being cowed by terrible victim-blaming “advice” like this and being visible in these areas will go a long way to continuing to remind people of that. As will more and more people of all sexes being willing to stand up against rape and rape culture and put the onus of rape back where it belongs.

In fact, in those dark ages decades ago, when people entertained notions of right and wrong, getting drunk was known as an “occasion of sin.” And you were obligated to avoid such things because they are situations in which you’re more likely to do wrong – or have wrong done against you.

And thankfully, we are long abandoning the days when one could blame all manner of pre-meditated ill deeds on “the evils of liquor”.

But we’ve evolved beyond such talk now, and I’m sure leftists certainly don’t want to hear it. After all, they’re heavily invested (at least emotionally) in the rape- center business.

…

Oh, IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION… you should have some standards for yourself. You don’t need to whore yourself to the likes of Selwyn Duke to make your rent. Have respect for yourself. Choose johns who aren’t going to break your soul and make you weep yourself to sleep. It’s never worth it.

Do I even need to address this seriously? The very idea that actually addressing rape is somehow encouraging rape while victim-blaming is somehow preventing evil sluts from manufacturing rapists out of booze is just… yeah.

As I move forward through my Pride weekend, I note this: The queer community is not perfect, is not 100% free of rapists or other issues of the patriarchal society it exists in. But it tries. It remains aware of the issues, promotes consent and introspection and reaching out for help. It, usually, takes the issue of rape seriously and, usually, avoids taking the easy route of blaming the victim.

I may have many harder struggles from having so many personal connections to the queer community, but I value this above all.

Being here, I’m firmly out of the dating pool of consent-phobic rape apologists like Selwyn Duke and Serena Williams.

And that makes all the difference.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Hey hey, ho ho, transphobia’s got to go. Fuck the church. Fuck the state. Fuck the binary. Fuck the hate. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

*There’s that, plus the fact that I think of all the female-identified people I have as friends, I can think of one, maybe two total who HAVEN’T been raped in the course of their life. Not to mention a friend of a friend who had a date with a girl ruined by some asshole slipping a roofie to both of them. But there’s no such thing as a rape culture. No no.