They Keep On Saying: “Go Slow”
Sorry, Superman, there’s no cure. You’re just going to have to punch him repeatedly in the nuts.
Matt Welch, Yet Another Reason to Hate Libertarians:
The Importance of Allowing People to Say That You Can’t Be a Gay Basketball Player and a Christian
Ah Libertarians. The end result of people who really do believe that it doesn’t matter who you are or what you believe, just how you market yourself.
If we want to understand how modern conservatives got to the point where they really seem to think that “better branding” will solve the fact that they’ve spent the last 30 years directly antagonizing everyone who isn’t a rich white cissexual heterosexual male and overall fucking up every aspect of the planet, we need look no farther than “libertarianism”.
Not only is libertarianism in and of itself, a rebranding effort to disguise support of segregation into the modern age as a principled stand for the free market and state’s rights. It is also a testament to how for all its blather of being made up by the “true makers” of society, who claim to deeply understand capitalism and how marketing works, they absolutely fail to take advantage of easy opportunities to lend even minor support to their marketing claims.
Take for instance it’s oft sold “libertarianism matrix” argument that it combines traditionally conservative economics (or economic “liberty”) with socially liberal beliefs. Not only do they fail to stand for this when it would coincide with their supposed small government beliefs (like not supporting the government trying to get all up in women’s uteruses), but they also fail to stand up for easy slam-dunks with increasing social support where it would separate them from traditional conservative beliefs.
Like gay rights. It should be a no-brainer for libertarians who want to take advantage of the fact that conservatism is looking about as palatable as mämmi. Gay rights are starting to earn a majority of social support, thus it wouldn’t be all that outside the bigoted normal, but it would generate a whole bunch of media noise about “how this brand of conservatism is more liberal”. Marketing-wise it’s the easiest lay-up in history. It’s easier to do the right thing than doing certain people’s mothers. And yet, they can’t help it, because at their hearts, libertarians are the same small-minded idiots as the conservative movements that spawned it, or rather…
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- We really need to trumpet ignorant bigotry as an important part of the dialogue for reasons that aren’t because we’re homophobes, like… oh, how it made Martin Luther King Jr a better martyr… Ok, bad example, how about how it forced Jackie Robinson to suffer endless bullshit with a smile on his face lest he make it impossible for any other black athlete to cross over… er… you need to “go slow”?
So yeah, small-minded idiots, passing up the opportunity of a lifetime with the historic coming out of first openly gay American team sports athlete, Jason Collins, by throwing all their support behind… some asshole on ESPN ranting like a cartoon villain about the perfidy of dem queers and what they’re doing to the soil.
Great job there, libertarians, way to stay ahead of the curve.
You have probably heard the news that mediocre but long-lasting NBA backup center Jason Collins
Yeah, I don’t think you’re allowed to damn with faint praise an athlete when you played the easy layup by knocking yourself out on the bottom of the hoop.
today became the first active professional men’s team sports player to come out as gay. Read his Sports Illustrated essay if you haven’t.
See, for instance, I would strongly agree with this. You should read his essay if you haven’t, because sports has always been a deeply homophobic space saddled with a lot of unnecessary toxic masculinity baggage. Solving that problem requires athletes to be brave and not only come out after they’ve long left the sport, but while they are still playing. Only that way will younger athletes feel safe coming out and not think that they’re sacrificing their only chance at a big paycheck by doing so. And it’s also worth reading, because it’s worth it to remember how brave this is in the context of other athletes coming out in other team sports historically being treated very poorly. Take Justin Fashanu who was the only English football player to come out as gay and ended up killing himself at least in part because of the hatred and homophobia other players, coaches, and fans showed him. Or Graeme Le Saux who endured constant homophobic bullying by fans and players despite being straight and married simply because he liked “girly” hobbies like antique collecting. While there are also positive stories like Gro Hammerseng and Katja Nyberg the gold medal winning lesbian Norwegian handball couple, that’s not exactly the dominant narrative hanging over gay athletes deciding whether or not to come out.
And if the libertarians were half as good at marketing as they want to be, their response would simply be “liberals strongly agree with libertarian article on social justice”.
Since then, commentary from his fellow basketball players, from politicians (including President Barack Obama), and from journalists has been overwhelmingly positive (just click on Deadspin and scroll down).
For now. Which is really good and comforting. Coming out shouldn’t always be an invitation for unnecessary pain and suffering. Often times in the first wave, it turns out that way and certainly those of us who have come out as one form of queer or another have our set of scars from the practice.
But the point of going through this rigmarole is to make a world where the majority of coming out stories are met with support either hesitant or enthusiastic. That Jason Collins, in this first wave of responses, is mostly meeting positive responses is good. It will help him the first time a team owner decides to treat him like shit or a teammate comes cussing at him or visiting fans somewhere start a homophobic chant when he comes on. And it will hopefully help make a world where those people who try to start shit are treated as the small-minded bullies they are.
One of the few exceptions has been ESPN commentator Chris Broussard, who said:
Case in point. For all this “enthusiastic support”, there have still been a number of small-minded bigots having public meltdowns over the no-duh announcement that yeah, gays exist in sports, same as anywhere else. And you can see the nuclear meltdown and resulting cleanup of such, not only in the impressively ignorant rant by employed by ESPN commentator, Chris Broussard, but also in the vast number of right-wing articles doing passive-aggressive “why can’t we treat every single Christian athlete as big news to take the spotlight off the icky gays” whines.
So let’s hear the rant that (spoiler warning) prominent libertarian and Jimmy Olsen-lookalike Matt Welch will defend as “an important part of the dialogue” that we’d be poorer for leaving out.
If you’re openly living that type of lifestyle, then the Bible says you know them by their fruits. It says that, you know, that’s a sin. If you’re openly living in unrepentant sin, whatever it may be, not just homosexuality, whatever it may be, I believe that’s walking in open rebellion to God and to Jesus Christ. So I would not characterize that person as a Christian because I don’t think the Bible would characterize them as a Christian.
Wah! Mommy! Wah! I wanna impose my narrow-minded cherry-picking vision of Christianity on everyone else and use that to throw out people I find icky for totally not bigoted reasons as well as try and passively argue that only my type of people should be playing this secular ball game. And I want to do this despite being a FUCKING BOBBLE HEAD employed by ESPN to essentially go “losing team should have shown more hustle”.
Seriously, what errant brain fart made this meat head think “gosh, what everyone needs right now are my ignorant as fuck ideas about comparative religion”? And when people are calling out the ignorance of something that was said on an American sports analysis show on ESPN, that’s saying a fuckton. And it would be saying that even if this wasn’t a tired, hackneyed rehash of Evangelical talking points they’ve been recycling for the last 30 years.
Broussard is predictably getting beaten to a rhetoric pulp on Twitter.
Oh, is Broussard getting “beaten to a rhetoric pulp” through the historically awe-inspiring medium of Twitter?
One second, let me play the world’s tinniest fucking violin for him.
Sorry, in a world where Jason Collins is taking a large risk of being actually physically beaten and certainly will end up being fouled harder by certain bigots in the sport and where people who have stood up for basic rights have been stalked and harassed through twitter to the point where they can’t even speak up for themselves anymore, I seem to find my empathy bag completely empty of fucks to give to a man having to deal with minor backlash from saying something intensely dehumanizing and legitimately fucked up and ignorant.
And while I think today is a wonderful, watershed day for people (especially the artist formerly known as Ron Artest) to live as open and free as they wanna be,
Leaving aside the savior comma, there’s just so much fail here in this little piece, that there’s almost nothing left to salvage before it completes its suicide run. Where even to start? Well, there’s the Prince joke, because that’s sure as fuck topical and shows how down libertarians are down with the kids, yo. There’s also the sad little homophobe dig at Metta World Peace (it is now my life-ambition to eventually become as “fuck what the world thinks” as this man). Yes, cause see Jason Collins coming out is really a watershed moment for Metta World Peace to be “as open and free” as he wants to be, IYKWISAIKYD. And fuck the claim to innocence on that phrasing. Metta World Peace shows up to press conferences in a Cookie Monster shirt because he’s a World Class defender and he doesn’t give a fuck. Jason Collins coming out is barely a blip in that guy’s life. And here’s the proof of that.
If it’s a watershed moment for anyone other than the sport, Jason Collins, the fans, and future and current gay NBA players, it’s probably John Amaechi, who was the first NBA player to come out during retirement and has been waiting for a current player to come out for awhile. On that note, I love this quote by him: “Right now there are still people with great power in positions of leadership within politics, within business, who behave like 5-year-olds being touched by a girl for the first time when they talk about gay stuff”. Ha!
I agree with the New York Post editorial Robert George here:
A self-described libertarian ignoring the opportunity to live up to their claims of social liberalism and instead quoting the likes of the New York fucking Post instead? One second, let me take a moment to fake the appropriate amount of surprise.
Oh noes, how could it be that libertarians would be poorly disguised social conservatives who predominantly use conservative news sources for their information?!?
And that’ll be 50 cents… plus postage.
Chris Broussard spoke what more than a few players feel. If such comments aren’t expressed, a real conversation can’t be had.
Yes, we couldn’t possibly have a real conversation about the allowance of the aggrieved minority to finally have a moment to speak about their life experiences if we didn’t include the most ignorant and tired of rehashes of the dominant group’s attempt to enforce conformity.
How in the world could we have a “real conversation” if we allowed the minority group to speak, for once, on their own behalf and from a position of actual knowledge on the subject? And if we actually listened to their life experiences instead of rushing once again towards the eventual minimization of the historic impact and rehashing of old bigotries?
IT’S UNPOSSIBLE!!!!!
One of the fascinating and valuable thing about Jackie Robinson’s 1964 book about baseball desegregation and civil rights,
A “fascinating” and “valuable” thing about Jackie Robinson from the papered over “Segregation Forever” movement… Oh this is going to be a treat.
which I wrote about two weeks ago, was that baseball’s pioneer gave space in his oral history for whites who didn’t agree with the federal civil rights push that Robinson was fighting for.
Probably because it was 1964 and a black man speaking frankly on his own about the incredible amount of bullshit without having to continue to bow and scrape to the ignorant white assholes of the time might as well have been a guy in a dashiki cap waving around a machine gun.
Here, for example, is shortstop-turned redass manager Alvin Dark:
I feel that too many people are trying to solve the Southerners’ problems before they solve their own problems in the North. In Chicago, in New York and other cities where they’re having racial problems—if these problems were solved by the Northerners or people from the West who come down South, if they would take care of their own problems first and let the Southerners work it out I know they would work it out, because there are a lot of people in the South that feel that everyone’s a human being, a son of God, if they are Christians, all born equally. I feel that right now it’s being handled a bit too fast. […] Being a Christian, I feel that this will be solved one day in the South. But they’re rushing it a little bit too quick right now.
Yes, if we had just left those poor Southerners alone, instead of harrying and hurrying them with our unreasonable requests (and what were we doing trying to fix the South when the North wasn’t yet impeccably perfect), then they totally would have gotten around to giving African-Americans full rights one of these centuries.
I mean, sure, they didn’t even begin to work on the issue on their own in the 100 years after the end of the Civil War and instead spent all that time trying to reinstitute all the legal and illegal barriers they could thrust in front of civil rights in order to try and replace as much of the inequality of the Slavery system as they could (and even after they were forced, have spent the last 50 years trying to expand their racist ass system to the rest of America). But hey, they really would have gotten to it if we’d just respected “state’s rights” enough. Honest! And if you can’t believe in Southern Honor, what can you believe in? Except ghosts and the Easter Bunny.
Now, there is no doubt that Jackie Robinson vehemently disagreed with this go-slow sentiment,
Obligatory Nina Simone reference.
but he also understood that you can’t always persuade fence-sitters through a two-handed chest-shove.*
Is that? Is that an actual footnote? Oh how wonderful, let us explore that bounding cul-de-sac next. And yeah, if you knew fuck-all about Jackie Robinson’s story (and why would you bring him up if you didn’t know fuck-all about him, oh wait, conservative, never mind), you’d know the reason he couldn’t “persuade with a chest-shove” is because he had his fucking hands tied by the “first minority problem”. That is the first X person has to be preternaturally nice, inoffensive, mellow, and a living refutation of every negative stereotype held against that minority group lest the nervous bigoted dominant majority have a freak out and decide that any X minority member that comes after can never be given the opportunity because “oh, it went so badly the first time” or “we were right, they really are all (insert stereotype here)” (it’s one of the big reasons that Obama is so mealy-mouthed and moderate and so careful not to live up to the angry or stupid black stereotypes). And one of the big things about pretty much all notes about Jackie Robinson’s story point out how much that demand weighed on his soul in terms of having to swallow some pretty vicious bigotry with a smile on his face so as not to look “bad tempered”. But hey, reality has a liberal bias and all that.
Now onward, footnote soldiers!
* Interestingly, the same year Robinson’s book was published, Alvin Dark was widely accused of being racist after criticizing his largely minority San Francisco Giants team for making “dumb” plays.
The bigoted Southerner demanding that those uppity black people just needed to wait forever for their rights was accused of bigotry the same year? Gosh, how could that be?
According to this article published by the Society for American Baseball Research, the alleged racist had an important black friend:
Wait… seriously? “Alleged” racist? He was defending the Segregation South and arguing that “things were being too rushed” after a fucking century of stonewalling. I think by any post-Civil Rights Act perspective on his position, or hell, even contemporary perspective we can absolutely conclude that he was racist as shit.
But hey, given that libertarians are the mantle bearers of segregation its pretty obvious why Matt Welch would be hesitant to call segregationists anything more than “alleged” racists (hint, hint, dog whistle about how uppity blacks make up accusations of racism to “smear” totally not-racist honest conservatives).
Well, in his slight defense, the article writer he cites also was fast to bury the accuracy of the notice of racism at the time, but seeing as how he quotes a fucking hagiography (in a hagiography, someone could strangle a puppy on live tv and it would be written about as a “controversial moment” where an “alleged attack took place” but luckily prominent canine once said something positive about him), I’m not tempted to cut him (Dark or Welch) on their transparent racism.
Jackie Robinson quickly rushed to Dark’s defense. The two had been friends since their playing days, and Robinson told the New York Times that he had “known Dark for many years, and my relationships with him have always been exceptional. I have found him to be a gentleman, and above all, unbiased. Our relationship has not only been on the baseball field but off it. We played golf together.”
As noted, hagiographies.
All right, this footnote explored, let’s jump to the next argument on why we need to focus on what ignorant bigots say (but not in a way that actually examines and pushes back bigotry and treats it like a part of the conversation, no no, that’s “blocking an important voice out of the conversation”. Because if it’s conservative it must remain on its own and unfought as the only thing mentioned on the subject otherwise WAH! Silencing debate! FREE SPEECH! WAH!).
And sometimes engaging with the I’m not ready to go that far just yet crowd
That might be the most exceptionally elaborate euphemism for “bigoted disingenuous fuck” I have encountered in my life.
I know I’ve harped on this a lot this post, but it’s worth noting not only that libertarians are the ideological successor to the Segregation movement, but that they are FUCKING TERRIBLE about hiding it! For fuck’s sake, if libertarians gave even one single fuck on actually appearing even vaguely liberal, it would be simplicity itself to condemn an era in American history so universally acknowledged as racist that if all the people who claimed to be on one side or the other actually were, segregation would have been physically impossible. And yet here’s Matt Welch playing mealy mouthed about how… misunderstood those poor gentle beasts were.
brings out the best in activists. See, for example, Martin Luther King’s “Letter From a Birmingham Jail.“
…I…
Okay, I’m having difficulty picking which outraged response, so we’re breaking it up into 3 possible alternative timelines.
Timeline 1: It’s worth noting that that his link doesn’t actually go to MLK’s famous work, but rather a “Reason” article which basically manages to somehow combine shit-talking MLK with straight-up stealing the rhetorical power of his legacy to argue that libertarians are the inheritors to his legacy. Ah, rich white entitled douchebags stealing the hard work of black activists. Will that ever get old? …Please Bob let that get fucking old soon.
That’s how it could have happened. But how about this?
Timeline 2: “brings out the best in activists”…? I suppose it’s the natural conclusion of the douchey form of devil’s advocate (nah, nah, minority group, our constantly shifting bullshit needling of your basic humanity is just us helping you be a better arguer when you encounter real bigots, but the fact that you are occasionally losing your temper would seem to show that your argument couldn’t have been all that accurate in the first place, because naturally that’s how philosophy works) that libertarians tend to specialize in. Really all those bigots MLK and other black civil rights activists at the time faced (also worth noting how much white douchebags try and make a historic movement into one or two people because it’s much easier to exploit or dismiss one person rather than many) were just trying to help out those poor activists and make them a better form of activist capable of producing much more useful texts for future douchebags to steal. Again, I have to point out that even when they are vaguely trying to say MLK was awesome, they’re still doing their best to try and make segregation seem vaguely noble.
But here’s how it actually happened.
Timeline 3: Ignore the other blips in the multiverse. Let’s get right down to the fucking heart of the matter. MLK was beaten, arrested, and finally shot in the fucking head before reaching the age of 40. All for standing up for something a handful of decades ago that we all try and pretend we all supported as a no duh today. To take that risk of standing up for what was right, for the basic humanity of one’s people, often comes with that penalty. And when it isn’t, it often comes with a harder life. Those who go first, those who speak loudest, those who speak most eloquently often paint a giant target on their chest and have to resolve that. It isn’t even remotely right nor just that activists should have to face police harassment, righteous imprisonment, hateful dehumanization, job discrimination, bigoted arguments, cultural hate, familial abandonment, and/or FUCKING MURDER, because of who they be and what they stand for.
Those bigots weren’t trying to “make MLK a better activist” and they didn’t. MLK had the capacity to speak on behalf of his people’s suffering regardless of whether they were suffering and if allowed he could have had a long life separate from having to fight for what we finally recognize as a “no duh”. What those bigots were trying to do was shut him up. Though the terrorism they put him and others through to try and prevent them bringing their voices into the conversation was swift, horrifying and was definitely too much for some to take that risk.
Minority groups shouldn’t have to go through hell, every time, out of some misguided duty to the overprivileged wankers in society who just want a neat aemotional story they can borrow and stitch from later. And the petty bullshit they face doesn’t need to be focused on and given “attention”, because a) it’s not an actual argument, it’s a terrorism tactic designed to make being brave and moving society forward something that is seen as ALWAYS punished and b) it’s already the dominant conversation. No one’s listening to Jason Collins and going “gosh, I wonder if petty bigots are going to be assholes about this”. We know they will and the reason Jason and others have to stand up is because those passive threats against whoever takes that risk are the only thing we ever hear until someone does. I doubt Jason Collins will meet the same end as MLK, but that history for those who are brave exists and colors and breeds fear.
Because that’s the intention. To make minority groups so scared that they dare not call attention to themselves. And to make allies so scared that they dare not publicly support them if they do. Leaving every one of those activists feeling alone and harassed and trying to push through all reasonableness inside of them for the sake of doing the right thing.
Now then, Taintweasel, what else you got?
Jason Collins in his essay from today talked about how former NBA great Tim Hardaway had come around from being a rhetorical gay-basher to a strong supporter of gay rights. The country is changing fast, and while many of us are yelling faster!, it’s important to recognize that a lot of people feel uncomfortable about it all. Better to have that conversation out loud, than let it fester.
Hey, we’re on your side, gay people! We just think that the country is being changed way too fast into one that actually recognizes you as full human beings and allows you full participation in society without constant harassment and we’re thinking that might make the bigots uncomfortable and you know how they get when you drag them out of their comfort zone, HINT HINT. Hey now! We weren’t making any threats or passive-aggressively supporting a system of terrorism and bigotry designed to slow down long delayed civil rights that then uses that discrimination to justify the bigotry, we’re just saying you’re taking a risk being this “fast”.
And we’re just so concerned that this “quickness” might be shutting out all the bigoted backlash that we just don’t feel is being focused on quite enough in this particular exact moment and thus might accidentally give people the wrong idea that you are a human being and coming out and being visibly your community and speaking your story is something right and proper. And we just want to make sure that impulse is curbed before people get dangerous ideas.
But remember, everyone, despite our not-very-high-pitched dog-whistles and our fawning sympathy for segregationists, libertarians are really quite socially liberal and it’s only our ever-present love for liberty that drives us to constantly support parties (and people and movements and laws and…) that hate.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Becoming a better activist, one bullet to the head at a time. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Festus!
Libertarian – a person who stands on the shoulders of giants…and complains about the view.
Broussard is predictably getting beaten to a rhetoric pulp on Twitter. And while I think today is a wonderful, watershed day for people (especially the artist formerly known as Ron Artest) to live as open and free as they wanna be, I agree with the New York Post editorial Robert George here:
Chris Broussard spoke what more than a few players feel. If such comments aren’t expressed, a real conversation can’t be had.
sooooo…broussard isn’t able to communicate his
lifestyle like he just totally did? he’s being shut-up how? what don’t these douche’s get about ‘sometimes we disagree on things and my saying that i think your values/points/lifestyles are wrong/sinful is part of discourse and not stifling your freedom of speech’ don’t they get?
and obviously projection and dissonance figure in in spades here…
As I recall King’s Letter from a Birmingham Jail was a big, beautiful, ringing, but gentle nut punch to the “I’m not ready to go that far just yet crowd”. (Like every single gay person is asking these shitheads to got second base before they’re ready.)
You know, where he lays out to the more chickenshitty white allies all of the things that are wrong with the idea of going slow.
But then, I have actually read the Letter. Apparently there is a sanitized not-scary to bigots version in which he humbly thanks his persecutors for tossing him in prison and then sings a rousing rendition of “Mammy.”
Ah well. Looks like this GOP attempt at rebranding will be even more pratfallish than normal. I for one am hoping rebRAND Paul will be asked to explain how his libertarian principles informed the “No abortions even if you’ve been been brutally raped, carrying the pregnancy to term will cause your head to explode and you’re 12,” bill he introduced a couple of months ago.
p.s. The photoshop, she is brilliant.
If we want to understand how modern conservatives got to the point where they really seem to think that “better branding” will solve the fact that they’ve spent the last 30 years
Don’t forget Nixon and the Southern Strategy.
They’ve been doing this for a lot longer than 30 years.
~
Free speech: Saying that someone can’t be gay and christian
Censorship: Calling someone who says that people can’t be gay and christian an asshole.
That’s pretty much what it boils down to…
Free speech: Saying that someone can’t be gay and christian
Censorship: Calling someone who says that people can’t be gay and christian an asshole.
That’s pretty much what it boils down to…
zackly…
whoa…that’s bad shit when your remains get exiled…
“(it’s one of the big reasons that Obama is so mealy-mouthed and moderate and so careful not to live up to the angry or stupid black stereotypes).”
I’d like to think that. It’d be something to cling to, anyway.
whoa…that’s bad shit when your remains get exiled…
Pierce says it best
http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/Worcester_Should_Please_Shut_Up
Libertarians are just conservatives who want to smoke pot and skip church. The next libertarian I see, especially those “I’m-not-a-Republican” types, who supports anyone who isn’t a Republican or a conservative will be the first.
Every time anarchism seems attractive to me, I remember these douches will try and hone in on the syndicalist party. Because they’re douches.
Loonietarians do want a small government…
…with them making the rules and the mob enforcing them.
Somewhat like the Catholic Church.
btw, I do so enjoy looking at the post on the browswear, seeing the line on the right be really tiny, near microlinish, and then seeing eleven comments. I know this means Cerb has rightfully destroyed some asshole who desperately needs it.
Every time anarchism seems attractive to me, I remember these douches will try and hone in on the syndicalist party. Because they’re douches.
Billy Bragg put it best- “I used to be an anarchist, but then I started to complain when the bus was late.”
Local Twin Cities rumor – Chris Kluwe will not be let go because of his o/s life, twitter, etc. It will because he is causing issues in the locker room trying to force his teammates to not be dicks. Ahem…
I am a huge Kluwe fan, I wish he played in the NFL, and I follow his twitter feed, writings, heard him on Stephanie Miller, etc. Helluva writer, nice guy. Probably 50% of NFL players are psycho-evangelicals, probably more of the coaches. Somehow, I think if there is a locker room problem, its more likely some knuckle-dragger, saying “ain’t no fag gonna be looking at my junk in the shower, it’s in the Bibbly”.
Also, if Tebow tried out for the Vikings, somehow I don’t think we’d be hearing a word about locker-room distractions. Too.
Ray Lewis. Retired beloved and bj’ed by the NFL. Never had any distractions I ever heard of, none.
Sadly, No?
“But remember, everyone, despite our not-very-high-pitched dog-whistles and our fawning sympathy for segregationists, libertarians are really quite socially liberal”
That’s right! They don’t want any confusion (like what happened with the other “L” people) between “libertarian” and “libertine”.
mediocre but long-lasting NBA backup center
Which only puts him in the top 1000 or so BB players in the world – I’m straight married, I’m still not going to drive the lane on him…
“Probably 50% of NFL players are psycho-evangelicals…”
Psycho-babble evangelicals, most likely. You know that theology, it’s a mixture of King James and motivational seminars
P.S. I’m happy to see the Sadly, Non! rss feed is working again.
What happened…did you guys fix something, or somebody else fixed something?
~
you can’t always persuade fence-sitters through a two-handed chest-shove
How about five-fingered exploding heart technique?
Thereis such a thing as being so wrong and fucking fundamentally stupid that you should not be allowed a seat at the big kids table.
The hell you say. In a country where rape victims reporting rape by our future role models are threatened? In a country where a crowd, and easily upwards of 27 teeth, of rifle-toting rednecks counter-protest a bunch of mothers suggesting that hey, maybe guns are a problem? I is deflicted.
I don’t see the problem. He trafficks in an old theory that was perfectly within the bounds of intellectual discourse not very long ago.
Someone posted at our regional motorcycle forum the Autosport Q&A with the top MotoGP racers where they mention the Jason Collins story and ask if they know any gay riders in MotoGP. ZOMG! “I don’t want to have that forced on me it isn’t about motorocycles” and so on. Best was one asswipe who kept smearing bigot shit all over his bigot face going on about homos being “against nature” and so on. His last comment to which I replied aptly so maybe that’s why it was his last, was “I resent this taking over my life.” I literally elled oh ell.
How did he get through grade school without a cooties-related breakdown?
Sounds like “go backward” to me.
Broussard is predictably getting beaten to a rhetoric pulp on Twitter.
Rhetorical? You mean other people have free speech, too?!!!
Fixxorated for the inherent repression.
OBS wins intertronz of his choice.
.
Best was one asswipe who kept smearing bigot shit all over his bigot face going on about homos being “against nature” and so on
And riding around on a motorcycle is “natural”? Could you link that thread, Pup? I imagine there’s lulz0rz to be had.
I don’t understand why Libertarians think that freedom of speech includes the right not to be mocked and taken seriously.
Oh, who the fuck is not allowing Chris Broussard or Matt Welch or any other douchebag who’s “uncomfortable” about treating gays like other human beings to utter whatever idiocies they want? What they’re getting is criticism, which stupid and/or whiny people always interpret as censorship.
Also, since this thread is ostensibly about an NBA player: BULLS ROCK!!! Hey LeBron, you ain’t up against fucking Milwaukee now!
Is it just me or is it insane to complain that a person is not being allowed to be part of a conversation AFTER they’ve already had a
chance to fully speak their mind?
Eh?
Also, do you know who really aren’t being allowed to be part of this conversation? All the still-closetted gay athletes. Nomsane?
That’s how it could have happened. But how about this?
I started hearing the theme music to Clue when you said this. Damn ye to heck, Cerb.
I don’t understand why Libertarians think that freedom of speech includes the right not to be mocked and taken seriously.
I am perfectly okay with giving libertarians the right not to be taken seriously. All the time, forever.
“Probably 50% of NFL players are psycho-evangelicals…”
As if I needed another reason to ignore that sport.
The fact is, I hae never advocated go slow. I adcovate all gays shut up, back in closet and stop ramming and jamming your purverse deathstyle down the throat of USA, over and oer like you do. If you shut up and go away we will stop hurting you, but you wont listen. We will protect our religion and our children.
Must be somebody else but I will see that I do something in case that solution doesn’t last. –Seb
Libertarians crack me up. They pretend it’s a hybridization between ‘liberalism’ and ‘conservatism,’ but it’s not. It’s actually a hyper-conservatism where each one of them is his own King in his quarter-acre Kingdom in the suburbs.
For example, they’re not against drug policies like liberals who see the failed war on drugs, the huge social costs and the lies and bullshit that surround it. Rather, they’re against drug policies because they don’t think they (the King) should have to answer to the laws of mere mortals.
And so it goes… ‘Liberal’ issue after ‘Liberal’ issue they attempt to co-op into their matrix.
Not if you think “Be a part of the conversation” means be the only voice in the room other than gentle murmurs of agreement.
OK, it is still insane, but I like to be accurate about the KIND of insane.
It’s not a lulzmine but amusing enough:
http://pnwriders.com/lounge/183464-motogp-homosexuality.html
As I think about it, I can’t recall knowing even one woman who professed libertarianism. Are there any? Are libertarians exclusively eternally fifteen year old males?
Yeah well I missed this earlier. Wow. I am actually not finding it kind of eyerolly funny this morning. Possibly because this post also mentions MLK who was, and by some people still is, regarded as too mealy-mouthed and moderate and an all around appeaser of whitey. Yep. He was such a House Negro that he was assassinated (the fatal shot was in the neck, actually).
I guess, in short, I would like to say (again) that we have as many moods and modes as our white brethren. If one object’s to Obama (or any black person) it would be fanfuckingtastic if the objection could be lodged without dragging race into it.
Merci beaucoup.
Are libertarians exclusively eternally fifteen year old males?
There’s also IT professionals, especially code monkeys.
Shockingly, to posit a possible Venn diagram, ‘loonietarians’ encompasses 99% of ‘IT’, and ‘women’ are off to the side saying “what a bunch of assholes.”
So what does he do if he finds out one of his track heroes is gay? Give up motorcycling for a ‘manlier’ sport? There’s probably NASCAR drivers and monster truck racers that are gay too. What an embarrassing question to ask. As far as I know, gay people don’t emit ‘gay rays’ that makes everyone that even knows about the existence of gay people flamboyantly gay.
As I think about it, I can’t recall knowing even one woman who professed libertarianism. Are there any? Are libertarians exclusively eternally fifteen year old males?
McMeghan?
@littleleaguecoach: The reason “Libertarians” complain about the view is that they’re not standing on the shoulders of giants, but hanging from the buttholes of idiots. I’m glad Cerb is doing stuff that helps, emotionally, but other than the relief involved, this sort of weasel-stomping doesn’t really get you anywhere. You don’t learn anything new (“Libertarians” are not quite as smart as cicadas, but a lot louder? Really?!) and you don’t accomplish anything much (“That’s the 973rd weasel I’ve stomped today – we should be running out any minute now. Right?”). Sisyphus would consider this, then go back to his rock as more likely to reach a successful conclusion. There’s got to be a better way.
That’s where the My [Blank] Friend Exception kicks in. I like this particular person so it is OK for him to be [Gay/Black/Jewish…]
All others may continue to fuck off.
It’s even worse than that — look at how damning that quote from Robinson about Dark is when contrasted against Dark’s actual rhetoric in public. What it proves is basically that Dark was too damn cowardly to have the courage of his bigoted convictions when talking to the object of his animus in person, but perfectly okay to spout off toxic racism in public where it wasn’t liable to get him punched in the snoot.
It also goes to show that Robinson was an awful lot bigger person than Dark, any day of the week and at least twice on Sundays.
The libertarians, of course, missed this entirely, because they never met a justification for racism they didn’t like…unless it was directed at them personally.
Boy Scouts being bullied worse than any other group EVAH! Gays cramming (something) down bigot’s throats.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/rep-palazzo-if-boy-scouts-dont-maintain-anti-gay-policy-then-what-do-we-stand-country
“Someone posted at our regional motorcycle forum”
Now I just want to get this straight; we are talking about motorcycles here, right? I mean, you know, ‘motorcycles’ and not those vehicular lifestyle accesories which immediately proclaim their owner’s complete ignorance about motorcycles, often called “cruisers”. You know, the ones that let people know you’ve seen “Easy Rider” but never saw “On Any Sunday”
“There’s got to be a better way.”
And I intend to find, and promolgate (if that word means what I think it does, and if not, I apologise) that better way, as soon as these weasels stop ripping my flesh!
The denizens at pnwriders are mostly sportbike riders. I can think of only one regular who has a full-boat Hardly as his only ride.
Boy Scouts being bullied worse than any other group EVAH! Gays cramming (something) down bigot’s throats.
Some people say that an activist judge on the 9th Circuit is forcing the scouts to give out buttsecks merit badges.
Damn, that was easy… gotta send an audition tape to FOX.
The cruiser pilots hang out elsewhere, I don’t know where. The chopper boys and girls might have their own site but given their stupidity to begin with and meth lifestyle I wouldn’t be surprised if they can’t use computers. ADVRider is where the dual sport folks convene. People who only ride dirt are antisocial fucks.
“Lawyers, Guns, and Money does ‘conservative film criticism’ now? I guess it did catch on.
Also, “promulgate.”
from paleo’s ray lewis link:
Lewis said: “God has never made a mistake. That’s just who He is, you see…. To the family, if you knew, if you really knew the way God works, He don’t use people who commits anything like that for His glory
truly, nothing in recent days has made me say ‘wtfuckity fuck?!?!’ as this has…
I guess, in short, I would like to say (again) that we have as many moods and modes as our white brethren.
the hell you say (paleo again)! i thought you only had angry black and uncle tom black…huh, who knew? this is one thing that bothers me to no end…in our world today where we arguably have access to more news and information, we are even moreso of a black and white mindset…the temperate voices and views are nowhere to be found. and that racial stereotypes are still adhered to makes me really, really stabby…
Lewis said: “God has never made a mistake. That’s just who He is, you see…. To the family, if you knew, if you really knew the way God works, He don’t use people who commits anything like that for His glory
Wait a minute… if God has never made a mistake, and God created everyone, how could the creation of gay people have occurred? Ahhhh… that’s why they need to believe that sexual orientation is a choice.
Shakezula-
Sorry about that. I was only trying to say that Obama feels trapped by white expectations of certain behavior much like other first minority Xs and thus has less freedom to show all his modes because “getting a little snippy” one day will play out as “angry black man is angry and black, let’s never do this again”.
It’s a bullshit expectation that makes the first minority X feel like shit while they are suffering through the insane and often contradictory standards. This is of course something true of all minority group members, but it is especially true of the First minority Xs and it’s even more annoying that if someone manages success without fitting into that mold, white men will mold and sculpt the prevailing story as its told to make it seem that they did (i.e. “MLK was super moderate and just wanted to give white people a big hug and tell them it was okay to brutally oppress black people”).
That was what I was trying to get at, but I think I wasn’t being fully cognizant at the time of writing about what contexts my words existed in and for that I apologize. Sorry about that and I’ll try and watch it in the future.
“The cruiser pilots hang out elsewhere,”
Cruiser “pilots”? Are you trying to get Major Kong angry at you? The term “pilot” has always inferred (which is way better than merely ‘implying’ ,TMWFI) a great degree of competency and experience.
Anyway, anytime you wanna make a cruiser galley slave crestfallen, all you gotta do is ask them to stand on the pegs. Oh well, at least they always know if their shoes are shined.
How the hell can you control a bike if you can’t shift weight to the pegs and shift your body weight (by moving your butt)? Not very well, that’s how.
Gad, those things make me sick.
Hey Mooser, easy on the cruiser hate. Our brethren and sistren that never saw a piece of chrome they didn’t want to add to their two wheeled RVs serve an important purpose. Without their numbers swelling the ranks of motorcycle voters, actual fun motorcycles would probably have been banned years ago. There are some joyless scolds that can look at a top of the line sportbike and only see the potential for harm. The same bunch of do-gooders that freak out about rap lyrics and video games would be only too happy to ban sportbikes completely. (and who knows, maybe all bikes?) The EU has recently and illegally* passed severe restrictions on the way motorcycles can be modified. The point is, motorcyclists are a minority and the fact that one of the larger groups of us are perceived as being a bunch of relatively harmless overcompensating buffoons is in fact a good counter argument to the fact that some of us are lawless hooligans when we can get away with it.
My point is, insofar as I have one, is that each subculture of motorcycling is too small to stand on its own, and its only when we sullenly resentfully band together like kids that can’t stand each other at family portrait time , that we are even marginally successful in defending our two wheeled recreations from overzealous regulators.
*they neglected to follow their own procedures in drafting the law and allowing time for public feedback
Also, “promulgate.”
Yup, I make that mistake consistently, and don’t catch it. But you did, and I heartily thank you for it. BTW, if I had enough teeth I would be gritting them about now. Just sayin…
“There are some joyless scolds that can look at a top of the line sportbike and only see the potential for harm.”
Look, I’ve been riding motorcycles since I was 18, that’s 40 years now. And I have never sustained any serious injury. I did this by leaving no turn unstoned. I don’t recommend this to every rider, I just won’t ride with anyone who won’t follow that simple rule.
“Hey Mooser, easy on the cruiser hate.”
Pointing out that the design is basically flawed is “cruiser hate”. Gee, maybe that’s why the motorcycle magazines never did it. Nope, they responded by dropping the cones test, huh?
I dislike them because they are very badly designed, dangerous motorcycles. Any bike which does not allow you to shift weight is much, much more dangerous than it needs to be. Oh, they finally got good brakes when brakes became bling.
So you go back to scaring wildlife and degrading the woods with your dual-sport, and I’ll go back to motorcycling ie, hanging around the methespresso stand in my leathers, next to my sport bike!
Real conversation with my wife:
“Hey sweetie, what do you think of me getting a motorcycle?”
“Mmm-hmm. No, babe.” (sips on coffee)
“The EU has recently and illegally* passed severe restrictions on the way motorcycles can be modified.”
Awful, isn’t it? I’ve noticed that a lot of the recent motorcycles (sport bikes and such) are neither powerful enough, fast enough, or loud enough. They badly need modifying!
Wait a minute… if God has never made a mistake, and God created everyone, how could the creation of gay people have occurred? Ahhhh… that’s why they need to believe that sexual orientation is a choice.
right? but they still can’t answer for a lot of other bullshit they pull…which is why i think the dissonance and self-hatred is so strong in our right-leaning populations…they know that they are supposed to believe that ‘god don’t make no junk’ (god, i hate that shirt!) but they have their own prejudices and biases that they can’t quite see past…so, they know that they are being shitty xtians, yet lack the total faith and adherance to scripture (unless it means oppressing the poors or browns) that truly believing that god creates each person and doesn’t make any mistakes…
and then there’s the ‘god has ordained every aspect of your life so whatever happens, happens’ line of thinking which further confuses our will to live and dominate…
but what i found the most fuckity of all in that quote was the ‘He don’t use people who commits anything like that for His glory’…that is off the charts chuzpah right there…really, ray lewis? you and your football career are a symbol of god’s glory?!?! again, if this is true, that is a god i truly don’t want to believe in and fully believe is a total dick…
“Hey sweetie, what do you think of me getting a motorcycle?”
Wrong approach!
The correct aproach is: “Sweetie what would you think of me spending a mere 50-100$ to take the MSF (Motorcycle Safety Foundation) Rider Course one weekend. I won’t even need to buy a helmet. Then I will know how to pilot a bike, have an endorsement and have some idea of whether a bike would be good transportation for me, and get a break on insurance”
That’s the approach I used with my wife, and she left the room at “what would you think”, and then I did what I damn well pleased.
Real conversation with my wife:
hubbkf and i have had the exact same conversation…other people may have motorcycles, and even though my brother was killed whilst riding a motorcycle, it’s not that i hate motorcycles…it’s just that hubbkf is a hapless sort of guy, and a riding a cycle 40 miles a day to work and back is just tempting fate as far as i’m concerned…although he would be super careful, i know that something would happen through no fault of his own and he would become horribly mangled and/or dead…so, that’s my reasoning…
“that is a god i truly don’t want to believe in”
Absolutely. I go with the God I can’t help,/i> believing in, no matter how much I don’t want to. That’s the good kind. ‘Worthy to be praised’ as they say.
homegrown terra-ists in my backyard…also, who names a kid ‘buford’? that’s just asking for trouble…
“The cruiser pilots hang out elsewhere,”
I guess I’m thinking more about Harleys than “cruisers” in general when I say this.
I like Audis. I think they’re great cars. They’re about all I’ll buy anymore.
But on the weekends I don’t get together with my friends who only drive Audis and wear our Audi t-shirts and drive down to the Audi bar and sit around talking about driving our Audis…….
But on the weekends I don’t get together with my friends who only drive Audis and wear our Audi t-shirts and drive down to the Audi bar and sit around talking about driving our Audis…….
we have a prevalence of harley enthusiasts here…totally wrong people are dressed head to toe in harley gear and ride their senior citizen model…i am always highly embarrassed for them…
I call them “conformists” because they all look the same.
“Hey look at me! I’m a rebel! I look and dress just like all my friends and our bikes all look the same too.”
“The denizens at pnwriders are mostly sportbike riders…”
Oh no! Please don’t tell me “pnwriders” means ‘Pacific Northwest riders’? Does it? In that case I retract everything I’ve said, and a whole lot more besides. In fact, I deny I wrote any of it and apologise for it..
I gotta ride these ‘pn’ roads too, and not get run off of them.
although he would be super careful, i know that something would happen through no fault of his own and he would become horribly mangled and/or dead…so, that’s my reasoning…
I have got to get you and sweetie together. Or it may be the worst idea, in the destruction of worlds sense, evar.
“I look and dress just like all my friends and our bikes all look the same too.”
Absolutely! Unlike cruisers, there’s good reasons all sport bikes look pretty much the same.
“But on the weekends I don’t get together with my friends who only drive Audis and wear our Audi t-shirts and drive down to the Audi bar and sit around talking about driving our Audis”
Audis are great, but I would think airplanes, and driving them, would be a hell of a lot more interesting to talk about.
I have got to get you and sweetie together. Or it may be the worst idea, in the destruction of worlds sense, evar.
there is no doubt that we would get shit done…
The last bike I owned was a Honda Nighthawk S circa 1984.
I don’t think it was considered a “sport bike” even back then because it had a driveshaft.
♫ Getcher motor runnin, ♯ ♮ ♩ head out on the highway♪
“I have got to get you and sweetie together.”
My sweetie ended up taking the MSF (in Bremerton, great folks, great course) course her very own self and they made a fine motorcycle rider out of her. (I failed) And her first bike was a BMW 60/5 with a drum front brake that required careful management. (A black “toaster tank” short frame 1971. God will punish me through all eternity, maybe more than I punish myself for selling that)
If you haven’t ridden before, take the course.
If you’re classy you go with Pusser.
“The last bike I owned was a Honda Nighthawk S circa 1984.”
A fine machine. I bet it got you around. Remember, even the best helmet in the world can only protect your head from about a 15-mile-an-hour direct impact. You don’t necessarily need a GSXR-1000.
And your bike is in a spiritual if not mechanical sense, a progenitor of my SuperHawk (VTR-1000) The “Hawk” moniker has always been a proud one for Honda.
“and they made a fine motorcycle rider out of her. (I failed)”
I meant, I failed the course, not that I failed to teach my wife how to ride. I wouldn’t even think about doing that!
If you’re classy you go with Pusser.
i worked for a h.s. principal we nicknamed ‘buford’ because he was really tall…none of the students appreciated the reference…
A fine machine. I bet it got you around.
It was every bit as reliable as Hondas are known for. I sold it after the proverbial “old lady in a Buick” missed killing me by a razor’s edge.
And that incident predates the invention of the Starbucks-drinking, cell-phone-talking distracted SUV driver by at least a decade.
Even if my wife would let me have one (she wouldn’t) I don’t know if I’d be brave enough to ride in today’s traffic.
I don’t ride cruisers or Harleys myself, and if my Ducatis had feelings, they would be hurt if they were described as such. Cruisers are what they are because they are well adapted to their purpose, which is not bouncing down logging roads or carving up canyons. Foot forward, fully faired cruiser/touring bikes can help one travel long distances in relative comfort. Most Harleys are well adapted at their purpose too, which is to say making middle aged wannabees feel like they are dangerous rebels.
Most Harleys are well adapted at their purpose too, which is to say making middle aged wannabees feel like they are dangerous rebels.
that nails it…
Another eternally fifteen year old male.
Helmut, I don’t object to the fairings, a fairing (I know) is a wonderful thing, I don’t object to the “style” which seems to Star Wars equestrian, I don’t object to the luggage, luggage is great stuff, use it myself.
I object to the feet-forward riding position which does not allow you to shift weight Now you are leaning way more than you have to for any given turn. True, you can ride around all day in most situations with your butt planted, but why should you be restricted from controlling your bike? They’re absurd, and ergonomically obscene, and then we get to the handlebars and the ground clearance…
Not the “dining-room-chair” position, which still allows you to transfer weight to your feet, and takes weight off your arms for long-distance travel (most sport bikes are just a bit forward, ain’t they) the feet-forward position!
And I hope these will be the last words I will have to say on the subject, as my consternation is acting up.
And your bike is in a spiritual if not mechanical sense, a progenitor of my Super
HawkChicken (VTR-1000) The “HawkChicken” moniker has always been a proud one for Honda.Please.
Most Harleys are well adapted at their purpose too, which is to say making middle aged wannabees feel like they are dangerous rebels.
that nails it…
Better than you know. A Harley exec said Harley doesn’t sell motorcycles. “What we sell is the ability for a 43-year-old accountant to dress in black leather, ride through small towns and have people be afraid of him.”
Buford Pusser
Is that pronounced “pus-er,” or “puss-er” ?
You thinki they all look the same? Boy do they ever!
Yep, that’s PNWRiders. I had forgotten I had an account. That place has changed a bit since last time I visited. There’s a more local forum that I occasionally visit now.
And I actually got my wife on the back of my bike for the first time last year (after I bought her good gear). She loved it.
I follow a lot of minor league baseball players on teh Twitterz, and the response from many of them to Jason Collins was, “BUT, BUT, BUT WHY IS HE A HERO WHEN CHRISTIANS COME OUT OF THE CLOSET ALL THE TIME AND NO ONE CALLS THEM HEROES. LOOK AT HOW MEAN EVERYONE WAS TO TIM TEBOW.”
Poor, oppressed 85% of the population (or whatever) Christians, getting harassed and beaten every day just merely for their choice of worship. And poor Tim Tebow being given far more praise, attention and PR than far better athletes who don’t proselytize all over the place.
Even if the social and political pretensions of cruiser riders are beneath contempt (most are state-worshipping-police-worshipping, oh whoops ‘pnw’ remember? careful softly catchee monkee) they deserve a safe vehicle. The friggin industry, the magazines, never said a goddam thing. Nope, all they did was stop cone-testing bikes. No sir, if Americans would buy ’em, they could shove any old dangerous design at them.
And this was the consumer item which was almost banned? Somehow, I don’t think so. I shudder to think what the hi-ways would be like if car manufacturers had the motorcycle industry’s freedom.
And BTW, can anybody tell me what “sport” my sport road bike is designed for? Cheating death? Or the speed laws?
I had one of those old 3-cylinder 2-stroke Kawasakis back in college.
The first time I rode it was “interesting”.
1000 rpm – nothing
2000 rpm – not much
3000 rpm – hey is thing on?
3500 rpm – huh, I thought these things were supposed to be quick?
4000 rpm – Holy fucking shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“And I actually got my wife on the back of my bike”
My wife rejected that idea as not safe, And I rejected her indicating the desired direction by rapping smartly on my helmet. She took the MSF course, and began riding her own. I then became obsessed with the idea that she was going to be hurt, while I watched, which took all the enjoyment out of it for both of us. She stopped riding. I sort of resented how she turned out to be a better rider than me, too. So that was a second reason why it had to go. So the Shoei didn’t fit, and our best-laid plans went Arai
“I had one of those old 3-cylinder 2-stroke Kawasakis back in college.”
I crashed one, not seriously, the only bike I ever did and it wasn’t mine! And, we were both under-age and unliscensed. I can’t remember if I was wearing a helmet.
The tank was badly scratched, and I paid for a shop paint job. $40!
That bike, a modified H-3 went on to get its owner in more trouble after it was repaired.
That bike, a modified H-3
You didn’t steer them, you just aimed them.
“Boy do they ever”
Suzuki sv650s. Great bike! An all-rounder, and comes in the large economy liter size, too. I like L-twins.
I had one of those old 3-cylinder 2-stroke Kawasakis back in college.
Those are highly sought after these days. Shit, I saw a Yamaha RD-400 – a 400cc oil-burner twin making about 40 hp while the Major’s bike was a 750cc triple puitting out about 70 hp – sell the other day for $4500. That’s almost $4000 more than it went for new.
“You didn’t steer them, you just aimed them.”
At the time, of course, I could do neither, but wanted to, very badly.
And I miss my air-head BMWs. You could nap on those.
Suzuki sv650s.
BRAAAAPPPPPP
Great bike!
That is true 0- I’ve had two and Teh Ho is onhis second SV650 as well.
comes in the large economy liter size, too.
Yes, yes it does. Look at the pic again, more carefully this time. You will see those are both
HooliganSV 1000sI like L-twins.
I have a thing for twins. Also L-twin engines. Torque is my friend.
Shit, I saw a Yamaha RD-400 – a 400cc oil-burner twin making about 40 hp while the Major’s bike was a 750cc triple puitting out about 70 hp – sell the other day for $4500. That’s almost $4000 more than it went for new.
I had a ’76 RD400. I gave it to a friend of mine. I are stoopid.
The RD400s were at least decent handling bikes (for their time). The Kawasakis most closely resembled projectiles.
I find the whole helmet culture interesting just as an observation.
I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a Gold Wing rider not wearing a helmet.
Sport bike riders mostly seem to wear them, except for the occasional frat-boy wearing flip-flops a t-shirt and a backwards baseball cap.
If the state doesn’t have a helmet law you almost never see a Harley rider wearing a helmet.
“Please.”
Oh, please, please me! It’s twice the bike my SS900 was, and I had ’em side-by-side in the garage for years. And it didn’t need an $1000 set of flat-slides just to avoid lean stumble, like the Duc.(However it did run better un-leaned and with a couple extra teeth at the back.)
Of course, I wish they hadn’t put a front fork that hydro-locks at anything except dead upright on the VTR, but it can be improved.
“If the state doesn’t have a helmet law you almost never see a Harley rider wearing a helmet”.
Yes, sir, with my butt half-bounced off the seat, while I try to pull myself up by the ape-hangers, with my feet ready to bounce off the forward controls and get shoved through my back, with a bug in my eye, that’s how I want to ride. No wonder they think motorcycling is so exciting.
Sport bike riders mostly seem to wear them, except for the occasional frat-boy wearing flip-flops a t-shirt and a backwards baseball cap.
Now that the weather’s been good the idiot college kids are zipping up and down the main drag right next to my office at about 70mph (20mph zone) wearing shorts, tank tops, and flip flops. And a helmet. These are not bright people.
I watched one nearly mangle himself by giving his liter-bike too much throttle coming out of a left turn from an intersection by the pub — big ol’ tank-slapper that he barely managed to save.
Nothing says “Darwin” quite like a 1000cc bike, a college kid and some alcohol.
I had one of those old 3-cylinder 2-stroke Kawasakis back in college.
Last bike I ever rode before the near-death dream brought on by two in-my-face examples of “OMG, I never SAW him!!!”
Drag racing Buicks seemed much saner after that.
Drag racing Buicks seemed much saner after that.
You’d have liked my ’64 Riviera with the 425 motor and factory dual 4-barrels.
Ah ha! No wonder such contempt for my poor VTR.
And in my opinion, Suzuki is the winner: they stuck with the design, tried two sizes, and several different versions. Honda made the VTR, and the RC51, and then dropped the whole L-twin thing in favor of four-in-lines. And so that leaves only Suzuki and Duc (and maybe an exotic or two). if you want an L-twin, and they are great motors.
Before I was old enough to actually have a bike, I fantasised about bikes.When I finally got on an L-twin, it recreated my childhood fantasy of what a motorcycle engine should be like. I was sold.
“Nothing says “Darwin” quite like a 1000cc bike, a college kid and some alcohol.”
And nothing says culture and sport like the dealer who sold it to him.
Now that the weather’s been good the idiot college kids are zipping up and down the main drag right next to my office at about 70mph (20mph zone) wearing shorts, tank tops, and flip flops. And a helmet. These are not bright people.
Squids.
“wearing shorts, tank tops, and flip flops. And a helmet. These are not bright people.”
I know what you mean. Women are way more impressed by an expensive set of leathers than they are by armpit hair. Well, they used to be, anyway, or so I was told. Have they changed?
Ah, this conversation about motorcycles has stirred so many poignant memories (or they might be piquant, like an over-oiled two-stroke) and aroused a long dormant recollection of my early life, if, of course, you call that…
Anyway, when I, eighteen years old, and with no experience at all, no training, having hardly ever before touched a motorcycle, wanted to buy one, my Mom, was all for it! Even loaned me, as a I recall, the price of my CB350. Good old Mom, she couldn’t wait to see me out on the road.
Jokes on her, innit? I’m still here, and in one piece, other than my mind of course. I can’t say why, really. You know, when I took motorcycle training I discovered I had been leaning the wrong way on turns!
“BUT, BUT, BUT WHY IS HE A HERO WHEN CHRISTIANS COME OUT OF THE CLOSET ALL THE TIME AND NO ONE CALLS THEM HEROES. LOOK AT HOW MEAN EVERYONE WAS TO TIM TEBOW.”
Wait, Tim Tebow came out of the closet? My god, that is very courageous. I mean, just the sheer vitriol and hatred that would be visited upon him for finally declaring who he is despite the consequenc-
Wait, I’m feeling I’ve got this wrong here…
When we say “come out of the closet”, we’re recognizing this as a statement of one’s homosexuality, correct? And not a bunch of assholes misappropriating that terminology for their stupid “wah, I’m not applauded enough for being demographically average in this nation” whine-fest, right?
Fucking Christians, Christ. Y’know why we don’t applaud you for it? Because you’re nothing fucking new. We’ve seen you Christians every goddamn day of our lives, we’ve seen you white people every goddamn day of our lives, we’ve seen you men every goddamn day of our lives.
Do something exciting, something refreshing! Be an atheist athlete, be a transgender athlete, be a humble athlete, anything like that, just don’t ask me to give a fuck because you’re part of the majority like we hadn’t fucking noticed.
Because that doesn’t take courage, you fucking chickenshits. Going along to get along is pretty much the exact opposite of courage.
BTW, Mooser, I wasn’t disparaging your bike. I came THIS CLOSE to buying one myself ~fifteen years ago. The SuperChicken moniker is, in my long experience, one of affection, not scorn. And my older (by about 11 or 12 years) sister STILL reminisces over her CB77 305 Super Hawk. I would guess it was about a 63 or 64. I used to love getting rides to and from the community pool where she worked as a lifeguard.
“BUT, BUT, BUT WHY IS HE A HERO WHEN CHRISTIANS COME OUT OF THE CLOSET ALL THE TIME AND NO ONE CALLS THEM HEROES. LOOK AT HOW MEAN EVERYONE WAS TO TIM TEBOW.”
Teh Ho’s Xianist brother had reposted on Facehugger that bullshit comparison that was very popular the other day. His response was brilliant: When Collins plays every game wearing rainbow flags under his eyes, does a gay dance under the basket each time he scores, and credits all his success to being gay, well then you might have a point.
“Hey sweetie, what do you think of me getting a motorcycle?”
“Mmm-hmm. No, babe.” (sips on coffee)
Ha. I managed to sidestep this by buying the missus a scooter first. Now, she loves her scooter and better yet loves riding two-up on the big ST bike with me.
I have a thing for twins.
Get out of my laboratory, Pupienus.
“When Collins plays…etc.”
I’d start watching basketball again. I might even go to games again.
“BTW, Mooser, I wasn’t disparaging your bike…”
It’s all right. Honda crapped out on us L-twin enthisiasts. I believe Suzuki still offers the 650 and 1000.
If you’re openly living that type of lifestyle, then the Bible says you know them by their fruits. It says that, you know, that’s a sin. If you’re openly living in unrepentant sin, whatever it may be, not just homosexuality, whatever it may be, I believe that’s walking in open rebellion to God and to Jesus Christ. So I would not characterize that person as a Christian because I don’t think the Bible would characterize them as a Christian.
If this were true, not a single person on Earth would be Christian. Everyone sins. That’s kind of a big part of Christianity.
Furthermore, if you’re a specific type of Christian that tends to also be the type leading the fight for homophobia (Christian evangelical fundamentalists), you’ve got a “faith not acts” theology whose entire point is that it doesn’t matter what you do (since we’re all sinners), all that matters is that you “embrace Christ as your personal Lord and Savior,” and he’ll cancel/ignore all your sins. So yes, it’s VERY possible to be gay and Christian even by their own standards.
Chris Broussard spoke what more than a few players feel. If such comments aren’t expressed, a real conversation can’t be had.
Who gives a shit?
Back when homosexuality wasn’t just disapproved of but actually illegal and legally punishable, were any of you Reasonable, High Minded people interested in “having a conversation,” or did you just go “EWWWWWWW make them go AWAAAAY!”
Ten years ago, when you had the votes for it, were any of you interested in “having a conversation” about those anti-gay-marriage initiatives you put on the ballot, or did you just say, “hey, majority rule, take that faggots?”
Is there any reason you’ve quite suddenly become so interested in “having a conversation,” other than “we’re losing and it gives us a big sad?”
Libertarians are just conservatives who want to smoke pot and skip church. The next libertarian I see, especially those “I’m-not-a-Republican” types, who supports anyone who isn’t a Republican or a conservative will be the first.
“Libertarians are what Republicans call themselves when they’re trying to get laid.” Still the best definition of it I’ve heard.
Every time anarchism seems attractive to me, I remember these douches will try and hone in on the syndicalist party. Because they’re douches.
Well, they’re both pretty shitty ideas, but as I recall anarchism tended to be fairly populist and just as worried about big business and big religion as it was about the state. A big step up over libertarianism, which like conservatism in general is basically a stalking horse for business and religious elites.
Yes, as an anti-foreskin activist.
I have a ’72 CB500. And a couple mid-sixties CB160s, in pieces.
They get to bloviate in a public forum about how Christian they are and how that makes them better and how they should get to make the rules because of how well they have internalized some of the more tedious hangups of 2000 year old killjoys?
My, oh my, the squid is a long-lived animal
http://www.king5.com/news/local/Medina-man-gets-1103-speeding-ticket-in-Oregon-206420761.html
When we say “come out of the closet”, we’re recognizing this as a statement of one’s homosexuality, correct? And not a bunch of assholes misappropriating that terminology for their stupid “wah, I’m not applauded enough for being demographically average in this nation” whine-fest, right?
(I bet I did those tags wrong, and it’s going to fuck up everything. Sorry guys. Hopefully someone will come along and fix it.)
I meant the second one, and your response is perfect. I think a lot of them honestly believe that they are oppressed in the same way that gays or other minorities are, and that it is courageous to state their Christian pride. This appears to be because of the mere existence of other religions and atheists. Being at all different from a Christian means that you’re oppressing him. Seriously, that’s what it seems like they think — mere disagreement is oppression, because you’re saying that there’s another way to be besides what they are. Or, put another way, they’re oppressed by the fact that they can’t force everyone to hold the same beliefs they do.
They’re fucking nuts, of course.
Teh Ho’s Xianist brother had reposted on Facehugger that bullshit comparison that was very popular the other day. His response was brilliant: When Collins plays every game wearing rainbow flags under his eyes, does a gay dance under the basket each time he scores, and credits all his success to being gay, well then you might have a point.
They would lose their damn minds, of course. But if I mentioned that I find all the God crap I have to hear from athletes obnoxious and sometimes offensive, they’d probably — literally — shoot me with, like, 100 rounds from an AK-15.
To be pedantic, that’s not a thing. Unless you mean the US Navy cargo ship the USS Sirius (AK-15) which did have some guns mounted on Deck in WWII. The flavor of the week assault rifles would be either the AR-15 or the AK-47.
Yes, as an anti-foreskin activist.
“And lo, Jehovah said, that the one-eyed wonder cobra shall not be masked as a thief in the night, for manshroom was pleasing in his sight, and let the prepuce shine forth like a light under a thing over another thing” (Book of Jeremy, Apocrypha, Chap 3: MILF-o-rama)
What I can never get over is the way, as soon as Broussard or similar git opens his mouth, every heterosexual relationship that ever was becomes a lifetime monogamous marriage with 2.3 kids.
Suddenly the manifold ways in which hetero relations can not be good for anybody are nowhere in sight. And, besides abusing and even killing each other, we drop unwanted kids all over. And abuse the ones we claim we wanted.
Women are way more impressed by an expensive set of leathers
I’m all for women in leather.
Wait, Tim Tebow came out of the closet?
Yes, as an anti-foreskin activist.
Nah, he just wanted enough material to make a custom football.
You rub it long enough, it becomes a beach ball.
“in pieces.”
I sometimes wonder if that’s where Mom hoped my CB 350 would end up. I mean, she might as well have been saying “Go play in traffic ” you know? Come to think of it, I don’t think I had even ever operated a clutch when I bought it. The wheels weren’t very round, and I had no idea that could have been adjusted with the spokes.
“we’re losing and it gives us a big sad”
Also, “You don’t have to be so smug about being so right.”
I don’t want to be a downer in a post so full of hot bikes, hotter women, Tebow, and the kind of joy that you just don’t normally see in your average industrial establishment, but I am watching TV whilst talking to y’all loons and doing laundry, and a commercial just came on for the cinematic release of ‘The Hangover 3’, and so we are doomed, doomed in many and sundry ways, I’m thinking plague, meteors, dogs and cats living together, and the theatrical release of motherfucking ‘The Hangover 3’, and I must find a hilltop to await the saucers upon.
“I’m all for women in leather”
I admit to a weakness for girls dressed in motorcycle kit. The moment when the helmet is removed, the hair cascades out, and the smile and bright eyes emerge is always affecting. And the tiny little boots? And the gloves, still curved and hot from feminine hands grasping the throttle…used to come home from rallies with my tank-bag full of ’em.
“ I must find a hilltop to await the saucers upon.”
So you don’t waste a lot of time, or miss your reserved probing, ask the saucer’s apprentice where they’re going to land.
To be pedantic, that’s not a thing.
That was kind of the joke. You know, liberal wuss doesn’t know about guns, etc. etc. I just made up some letters and numbers.
“To be pedantic, that’s not a thing.”
To be fair, everybody’s got a thing, but some don’t know how to handle it. Always, as I hear it, reaching out in vain, accepting the things not worth having.
When Collins plays every game wearing rainbow flags under his eyes, does a gay dance under the basket each time he scores, and credits all his success to being gay, well then you might have a point.
Relevant and hilarious.
Paleotectonics, I forgot to mention, it’s the chef’s day off, so the saucier’s apprentice will make lunch. You gotta keep your strength up. The boarding-ladder is a lu-lu!
Does anybody know if Chaucer had an assistant or secretary or something? Oh, forget it. It’s not relevant.
And the gloves, still curved and hot from feminine hands grasping the throttle
Heh… grasping the throttle…
Mooser, I. need…protein. (huff coff) and some sort…bar – bar – biturate…(hork hack)
Peeeanuts, beer…
Does anybody know if Chaucer had an assistant or secretary or something?
Ummm. Miller. Reeve. Friar, someone’s wife, summoner. Nope, no assistants.
No Chaucer’s apprentice, then? I sort of hoped there would be.
Does anybody know if Chaucer had an assistant or secretary or something?
Ask him, for he hath a blog.
Barbituate? Nope, not coming near that one. I will not refer to the fair species with that ugly word.
No Chaucer’s apprentice, then?
Chaucer was pre-broom, pre-technicolor, and pre-Prokofiev.
The miller’s wife helped him out.
You’d have liked my ’64 Riviera with the 425 motor and factory dual 4-barrels.
A prettier mill there was not ever.
…all that aluminum, and an air cleaner that looked like it came off a Cobra.
A monumental clusterfuck to tune properly, though.
Pops Kennedy sure could make ’em run, but he was a genius.
“Chaucer was pre-broom, pre-technicolor, and pre-Prokofiev.”
I’ve read some of his stuff. I’ve got him pegged as cruiser guy.
The Chaucer as Prentice.
Not surprised Tebow would be a soldier of the great foreskin holocaust.
From your link, Smut Clyde:
“that Troilus almost dies of ejaculatio praecox”
I want to Google that, but I’m scared to. But I’d like to find out if I’ve ever had it, or might get it. Is that what happens when you’re allergic to Viagra?
I haven’t finished reading the article or even the thread yet but have you ever heard of a 3rd grade spelling assignment like this?
“Create your own list of 10 spelling words that include the letters sc that sound like the ch in church.”
Fucking constructivist teachers. How do they work?
[Oh, and I’ve totally failed. I can only come up with three. One is a medical term, and the other two are based on the same Latin root, conscius.]
Fucking constructivist teachers. How do they work?
(Also, too… From what I can tell “constructivist” means making the students do all the teacher’s work so that the teacher can spend all her time climbing the political rungs of the school district.)
Zombies! Of course! That’s how to handle it:
1st Zombie: ‘What about the barbituate?’
2nd Zombie: ‘She gave me indigestion for hours! Try the hat-check girl instead.’
I mean, nobody cares if zombies are sexist, right? I mean, it’s practically expected of them.
Create your own list of 10 spelling words that include the letters sc that sound like the ch in church
Which ch?
OK, I have ten, all using -cious phoneme except “fascia”, and really it’s the ‘ci’ making the sound, the ‘s’ just happens to be there.
But really, who is going to believe my 3rd grade son came up with those?
This woman is the sloppiest teacher I’ve ever seen. Half of her homework assignments contain glaring logical errors, obvious to an adult but confusing as hell to an 8 year old, and more than once I’ve seen such glaring nonsequiturs that it’s impossible to figure out what she expects.
/rant
And it’s the “sh” sound in “shursh” we are looking for.
/DERP
nobody cares if zombies are sexist,
Well, so what? What’s wrong with bein’ sexy?
I admit to a weakness for girls dressed in motorcycle kit. The moment when the helmet is removed, the hair cascades out…
The hottest female I ever saw alone on a bike wasn’t dressed up like some Hollywood stereotype, but was wearing steel-toed boots, skintight faded jeans, and a sheer tank top over her petite figure. Medium length straw blonde hair trailed out from under her helmet. No bra, because she didn’t require one and never will, except perhaps to hide her erect nips… She pulled up next to me at an intersection, and rocketed off when the light turned, but I got a good 15 second shot of side boob and female axillary fur, of which I am a rare male fan.
After working next door to a strip club, I don’t gape at many women anymore, but that day I did.
Yea, in retrospect, there is a solid chance that she isn’t interested in my gender, but at the moment such details were the last thing on my mind. She went into the spank bank anyway.
This was about two blocks from a friend’s apartment, who was hosting a small party, and me and one other guy pulled into the lot at the same time… he got out of the car wide eyed.
Other guy: “Hey did you see—”
Me: “On the bike? Yea.”
Other guy: “Oh… mygod.”
No more needed to be said. I didn’t mention the hairy pits, I didn’t want to burst his bubble. I doubt he woulda cared anyway.
(Oh, the bike? It was a BMW R1100 or R1200, I believe. I didn’t look that close. But it made the Beemer whisper when it sped off.)
“What’s wrong with bein’ sexy?”
I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been.
Food prawn:
Flame-seared salmon, sauteed spinach, and a new one for me, quinoa. Meine tummy goeses yum, my bro-in-law can cook like a star and without douchey sunglasses.
“next door to a strip club,’
For an entomologist, you sure do some funny field-work. Give a lot to see your note-book.
“and a new one for me, quinoa.”
That’s good stuff, and good for you. It’ll help keep you from getting malaria, or possibly straining a fetlock.
My perfessors always said “the best geology is done at the end of the day in the bar”, a philosophy I tried very hard to live up to…
I replaced my fetlock with bionics. I can lock fets better, faster, stronger.
“and a sheer tank top over her petite figure.”
No protective cloth or leather jacket with pads? No gloves? No overpants mit kneepads?
I like ’em wrapped up tight in the proper protective gear. Girls like her make me nervous.
Speaking of motorized two wheel vehicles, I did for a short time own a mid seventies Honda 350 four cylinder (don’t remember the exact model.) A classic old school bike. A buddy of mine taught me how to ride at nightime in an empty parking lot and I was jazzed for a minute, because hey gear, new shit to learn to fix, cheep and reliable transportation…Woot.
The next day I woke up in a cold sweat knowing that the chances were better than even that I would die riding the thing. Simply a reaction to the knowledge of who I am and how I roll.
On human powered two wheeled vehicles I have always been a big fan of gravity and we have some easily to attain 50 + mph hills in my neck of the woods when in an aero tuck, and I always take advantage of the opportunity when one presents itself (provided on most occasions* that I have at least scouted the hill at a slower pace previously that season.)
*seduced by fresh pavement I found myself in the unenviable position of having to choose a failsafe point to avoid the possibility of blunt force trauma and then lay the bicycle down when I got there (failing to scrub enough speed or change my line enough) I picked the spot pretty well as I stopped three feet shy of the guard rail. I was acting the fool to be sure and paid the price over the next 4 to 6 weeks. If I have to hit the pavement at 40 + mph I guess I’d rather do so with 21 lbs of machine rather than ten or more times the weight. Thank dog for Judo classes (and I only had four of them) for teaching me to fall.
Also too praise bob for the gift of maintaining a presence of mind under duress as that ability has pulled my sorry ass out of several fires.
In summary, while I love the idea of gasoline powered two wheeled vehicles, I know that I would be compelled to test the boundaries of adhesion and would likely be dead or a slobbering fool. At this point I am pretty sure I am working on my 12th or 13th life and fear I have only a couple remaining.
…
Could God create people so gay that He Himself could not forgive them?
“I replaced my fetlock with bionics.”
The strangest thing happened to me. Up until last night, I had been saying or writing “fetlock” when I meant “dewlap”. Imagine mixing those two up! But I did, until last night, when I caught myself.
For an entomologist
Actually I’m an engineer. (Formerly software… it’s an old, old nym.)
I worked at a small aerospace company in Chatsworth. Silicone Valley, for those not familiar with LA cultural geography. Titty bars and porn publishers everywhere. “Next door” is a bit hyperbolic, but it was under a block. Right next door was Sin City Productions, and while they didn’t shoot scenes there, they did do recruiting interviews… lots of tiny young girls in platform heels and spandex pants tottering in and out. Oh, and they had a shipping clerk with dwarfism that they used as a woodsman from time to time.
Anabolic and JM Productions, two purveyors of some of the most misogynistic pron I’ve ever seen, were on the next street over. When you start a porno and see the notice that “proof of all performers age is on file,” the addresses listed are all on the same street as the aerospace engineering firm I worked at.
Firms in that neighborhood would go out of business from time to time and liquidate their offices, and our controller would always go buy computer equipment at these sales. I think he was hoping to find porn on them. We used to joke that every bit of office furniture in our company had appeared in a porno at one time.
The strip club at the end of the block was a popular lunchtime hangout, and you could tell when one of the girls was ready to start her video career– she’d show up one day with new boobies. And it’d be another three or four weeks before she could raise her elbows above her shoulders.
There’s more, but I’m s’posed to be working. :p
Girls like her make me nervous.
I think that’s the point.
But also, it was like 110°F that day.
“I can’t believe this would ever happen to a guy like me. I was in the hospital following a dewlap tuck, or what I thought was a dewlap tuck, and was telling the candy-striper was a dewlap tuck, and a nurse came in and corrected me, saying that my fetlock had been ensorceled, and then asked the candy-striper if she wanted to see.”
Titty bars and porn publishers everywhere.
Sounds like my kind of place.
Sounds like my kind of place.
Alas, it’s days are numbered. LA County supervisors, in their infinite assholery, put a measure on the ballot to require adult film performers to wear condoms. They knew it would appeal to social conservatives across cultural boundaries, and sure enough, it passed. The straight-porn producers are convinced that no one wants to see condoms worn in on-camera hetero sex.
Conventional wisdom is that the entire adult film industry will move to Las Vegas, or perhaps Pahrump [home of Art Bell!], since there are a lot of vacant homes there and prostitution is legal in Nye County. (Of course the vacancies in Clark County are also plethorous…)
All it will take is one to make the leap, and the rest will follow.
“But also, it was like 110°F that day.”
Most jackets have vents, to allow air flow, and removeable liners for warmer weather. There are mesh jackets for hot weather, too. There’s no good reason to ride as an offering to the great cheesegrater.
You should have admonished the young lady. I bet she wasn’t even wearing a reflective vest. It’s hard to tell, but by looking very closely at her chest you might have been able to tell. I’m sure you made every effort, in the interests of safety, of course.
and then asked the candy-striper if she wanted to see.
“She agreed, coyly. As I was unwrapping it, the candy-striper confessed that she had had the dewlap tuck, and it was now more sensitive than ever.”
“Oh, and they had a shipping clerk with dwarfism that they used as a woodsman from time to time”
Who nearly died from ejaculatio praecox? I’ve heard it’s an occupational hazard among woodsman.
“and it was now more sensitive than ever.”
Oh come on, a dewlap is not an erroneous zone! When a moose lifts his head rapidly from the water (where he’s been eating tender water plants, of course, or maybe he’s talking to the fish, how the hell should I know? But the fact is, they spend quite a bit of time with their heads underwater, okay? You got a problem with that?) the dewlap is a pendulous sort of a thing, almost goiter-ish anyway, when the moose rapidly lifts his head from the water, the dewlap swings up and hits the moose in the lower jaw, and he bites his tongue, every goddam time. And people wonder why campers get stomped occasionally? It’s a miracle it’s not worse!
Moose is daaaaamn tasty
A møøse bit my sister.
“Moose is daaaaamn tasty”
No it’s not. That’s a bunch of hooey put out by the American Moose Council. Actually we’re dry and tasteless, and really chewy. Plus we cause fat to accumulate on hips and stomach. Eating too much moose can cause hyperpretension.
I don’t want to be what’s for dinner! Eat eagles, they taste like chicken. Or their ilk. Yeah, eat them ilk. The ones with the round antlers.
“A møøse bit my sister.”
Why do I have the feeling I’m supposed to say “Yeah? And what did your sister do to the moose?”
Mynd you møøse bites kan be nasti.
“I wanna fry up an eagle,…fricassee.
Fry up an eagle so it tastes like KFC…”
@Packers TEG – What name would you like for the religion Imma start for you?
I wanna fry up an eagle,…fricassee
Eagle tastes a bit like Blue Heron or Whooping Crane.
“Eagle tastes a bit like Blue Heron or Whooping Crane.”
There you go, that’s good eatin. You don’t want to eat me (especially after a barbituate) I’m skinny. It’s cause I’m poor. Look at me, I’m so poor I’m wearing cardboard antlers!
Also, too, lotsa good eatin’ on a turtle.
Just a little nibble on the dewlap part.
Also, too, lotsa good eatin’ on a turtle.
Nature’s meat pie.
There is a horrible, awful, excellelently terrible movie called “Contamination .7” on the “MGM channel” right now. Nukular contamination has caused plants to mutate into viney killers. It’s unintentionally hilarious!
Up until last night, I had been saying or writing “fetlock” when I meant “dewlap”. Imagine mixing those two up!
The only time I’ve ever said “fetlock” was when quoting Captain Beefheart, i.e. “Fetlock’s waddling feast! Archaic faces frenzy!” etc.
I swear the entire effects budget was spent on a bunch of pool noodles and some brown paint.
Spoiler alert: they dont figure on the killer mutated Xmas tree. Such a climactic final scene!
“when quoting Captain Beefheart,”
You never strained a fetlock? It happens, and more often then you might think, if you thought about it.
Never try to substitute a fetlock for a petcock.
No, I haven’t. Just looked it up. I always assumed Fetlock was a fat guy, or a guy whose feast waddled.
And I’ve never said or typed “dewlap.” “Dewclaw,” yes.
Well, I want the jerks to feel free enough to say stuff that (uh) ‘we may know them’. John Bloom made the point that David Duke lost a major election by an hair because shite he’d felt free to spew indicted him with people not willing to be _that_ blatantly bigoted…not that that ever worked with Ron Paul, nor yet of the Apostle Ronßon, who betrayed his Lord and Master, Aqua Buddha
The next day I woke up in a cold sweat knowing that the chances were better than even that I would die riding the thing. Simply a reaction to the knowledge of who I am and how I roll.
This, right here, is exactly why I got off the bike for some thirty years. I was riding the two-lane one fine sumer day from my college town back to my island hometown, passing the line of RVs and poky retirees at every opportunity, feeling more impatient and taking bigger chances with every pass, when I came upon an accident scene where a biker had T-boned a car pulling out of a driveway. The biker did not survive the encounter.
Now I hope I have the perspective and recognition of mortality to ride with more sense if less flair.
Regarding another side topic, I’m an all the gear all the time sort of guy, because I’ve fallen off of bicycles at much lower speeds and it hurts.
Personally I find The Hangover 3 less of a harbinger of doom than the upcoming release of The Smurfs 2.
I’ve fallen off of bicycles at much lower speeds and it hurts.
Agreed. I have road rash scars on both hips, both elbows, both knees, and my ass… all from spills taken during my road cycling days when chamois and vaseline were all that separated my flesh from the asphalt.
It’s no fun laying on a medic’s table while they dig gravel outta your ass with forceps and scalpel. I have no interest in finding out how much worse it can get with assistance from an internal combustion engine. Leather and kevlar ftw, and skip the lube.
Also, too, lotsa good eatin’ on a turtle.
Nature’s meat pie.
Now with more salmonella!
This radical Magna Carta fad is going to play hell with England’s economy – mark my words!
First the Colonies went for mob rule, & now the “liberty” virus has made France into a basket case too. Why can’t these uneducated rabble realize that the monarchy & gentry only want what’s best for them? Letting the lower classes choose who rules them is like letting the lunatics run Bedlam.
This will not end well – mark my words!
The art world has been going to hell in a handbasket ever since the invention of photography, but it’s never been as vile as the horrid tripe that’s passing as “art” today … & the “Dada” movement responsible says their absurd & atrocious “art” is a response to the Great War. These troglodytes dare to question the glory of our crusade to defeat the Kaiser just because they think a few too many of our fine young lads are falling in valorous combat. Worst of all, some of them are saying we shouldn’t even have countries at all! If that isn’t treason, it might as well be.
Their childish utopian gibberish, like their disgusting “art,” will soon be forgotten, & the Great War will be both the last & the most splendid war in history – mark my words!
“This will not end well – mark my words!”
I did, very thouroughly! But then I scrolled a bit, and now all I have is a big blotch on my screen. Do you know how to get it off?
seduced by fresh pavement I found myself in the unenviable position of having to choose a failsafe point to avoid the possibility of blunt force trauma and then lay the bicycle down when I got there (failing to scrub enough speed or change my line enough) I picked the spot pretty well as I stopped three feet shy of the guard rail
Take the small hit to avoid the big one, the cyclist’s choice. I remember going into the office with a nice big abrasion on my arm. The office busybody made a big todo over it, telling me I should put Bacitracin on it to reduce scarring. I shut her up by telling her, “I like scars, every one is a page in the narrative of my life. I also believe in the conservation of scar tissue- I’ll take fifty of these little ones over one big one down the middle of my chest.” That shut her up.
Thank dog for Judo classes (and I only had four of them) for teaching me to fall.
They come in handy- I took a potentially nasty fall which turned into a textbook zenpo kaiten– I was back on the road in seconds, none the worse for wear.
“This, right here, is exactly why I got off the bike for some thirty years.”
You are not alone. Many, many people have told me that they have thought themselves out of motorcycling after considering. I have no problem with that!
As I get older, and older, and older….oh, where was I? Oh yeah: as my night vision is going, I won’t ride at night.
…telling me I should put Bacitracin on it to reduce scarring.
Bacitracin is a topical antibiotic. How in the world could it “reduce scarring”?
“Take the small hit to avoid the big one, the cyclist’s choice.”
On a motorcycle, you don’t get that choice, the bike is too heavy or the speed too high. You go where the ballistics takes you. Nothing makes me laugh like somebody who tells me what they ‘will do’ (I’ll slide the bike’ , I’ll get off in this way or that… or “I know how to fall’) in case of an accident. Makes me think they don’t have a good handle on reaction times and fps and all that.
And on a bike, you can’t just jerk the steering wheel, or stand on the brakes, you have to set your body, too, and that takes time. Way too much time.
Take a look at Prof. Hurt’s report. How many motorcyclists do you know that make it a rule to wear reflective material? A main cause of accidents (not seeing the motorcyclist) and one it’s easy to do something about.
And what about “brake early, and often” or “the throttle turns both ways, when in doubt, turn out”?
Oh, motorcycling may be a sub-culture, but wow, I gotta say, it’s a sick one, what is the “sport” in excessive speed or reckless driving? We all sit around waiting for who will be stupid enough to believe our stories about how fast we go, and try it themselves?
Okay, I haven’t got a sledge hammer, but there is a nice big pick in the garage. I’m going out right now and get that VTR back for all the lives bikes have taken.
I took judo classes once, and after that, I could make a pretty decent bagel.
I’ve fallen off of bicycles at much lower speeds and it hurts.
The worst injuries I got riding something with two wheels was a mountain bike. [Did something stupid, edited for brevity and shame] and ended up flying over the handlebars breaking my left wrist and doing a face-plant on asphalt that earned me 8 stitches in my cheek. Was helmeted but that was of little help to my face.
Contrast that with my worst motorcycle accident (really, my only accident) losing control after a rear tire blow out at 65mph. All I got from that was a silver dollar-sized abrasion. Sliding down the highway, I remembered my dad’s words, “If you go down, relax and roll.” I relaxed and went into a log roll for what seemed like a couple hundred feet. My rider, who stiffened up when he hit the pavement, slid the whole way doing the Pete Rose headfirst slide. He pretty much wore away his clothes. He ended up with a good amount of road rash too.
Since I’m delurking I might as well catch up…I owned a Harley when I was 15-18. It was a 65cc 2-cycle Aermacchi that AMF relabeled as H-D. The thing could get up to 50 mph when new. I beat it to death driving it off-road when it was a strictly road bike. 3200 miles is all it got ’til it fell apart.
I then bought a 750 Honda that was “chopped” with 9″ fork extensions. This made it an even more top heavy beast. That’s the crash bike. I traded it for a Celica GT so I could commute and finish my last year of undergrad.
26 years later I bought my buddy’s ’98 H-D Ultra Glide. It’s built as a freeway yacht and does a helluva job at it. I wouldn’t dare take it down squiggly country roads dialing thru the gears and ripping up the road. I like my flesh unabraded.
I don’t understand the bike-racism expressed by posters here. Like people, bikes at their core are all the same. I can see having a favorite, but does it have to come with denigration of the rest?
Aren’t you used to it by now Willy? The only motorcyclists who don’t think poorly of HDs and their riders are other HD riders. You KNOW that, right? It’s tjust he way of the world.
Bike-racism isreal!
“I don’t understand the bike-racism expressed by posters here. Like people, bikes at their core are all the same. I can see having a favorite, but does it have to come with denigration of the rest?”
Pointing out that a bike has a dangerous riding position, and handles poorly, is “bike racism”? Gosh, that’s too bad, cause it’s what motorcycle magazines used to do all the time.
“I then bought a 750 Honda that was “chopped” with 9? fork extensions.”
Yeah, okay, remind me to take all my advice on motorcycles from you.
“It’s just he way of the world.”
Engine not a stressed memeber, can’t be made one. Narrow angle V-Twin has destructive shaking, inherent in design. Still uses roller bearings fer God’s sake! Then we can go on to the frame and the rest, and the riding position (obviously you have no idea how that works.) And then we can get to HD itself and its marketing. Of course, nothing shocks me there, I know about home organ marketing back in the 60-70s.
And if I see you on the road, I’ll wave, and smile. So watch out. You might wave back before you think about it.
Bacitracin is a topical antibiotic. How in the world could it “reduce scarring”?
Fuck if I know, I just report things as they come.
On a motorcycle, you don’t get that choice, the bike is too heavy or the speed too high.
And that, my dear fellow, is why I don’t ride motorcycles. As a matter of fact, I’d rather have the pickle.
Yeah, thinking somebody ought to, I don’t know, maybe find out how motorcycles work, take some training, maybe even get an endorsement before they jump on a bike, is bike racism, too.
The bike makers don’t send me checks, I buy their bikes and I ride em, but that doesn’t obligate me to lie to my fellow motorcyclists to help Harley, Honda, kawasaki or even Ducati sell bikes.
“Like people, bikes at their core are all the same.”
Why, then, why aren’t we all riding Honda 750s with 9″ extensions?
Bikes are, in fact all the same, they are built and sold by people who want to make money, and don’t particularly care if you injure or kill yourself with their products. If we will buy stupid, overpriced, overpowered, underhandling or overweight motorcycles, they will make them and sell them to us with a smile.
“On a motorcycle, you don’t get that choice, the bike is too heavy or the speed too high.”
That just means you have to make decisions earlier (Btw, I do believe the accident rate for trained, endorsed, experienced [those first few years are killers!] motorcyclists is about the same as for cars, yup).
Let me give you an example: Last weekend, I went out to the garage, and looked at my VTR, and decided I wasn’t gonna go through all the hassle of putting a new battery in it and taking a ride, and making it ready for the summer. And I didn’t. And my life has been motorcycle accident free all this week! Not even a close call!
“Bike-racism”
Poor Harleys, brought here in chains, and made chattel slaves, and still oppressed 150 years after Emancipation.
“Sliding down the highway, I remembered my dad’s words,”
So did I! “That goddam bike is going to kill you one day. Why do you think they call them ‘murdercycles’? No son of mine will ride a bike, get out!”
Yup, those traditional father-son confidences which shape a young man’s life.
“Fuck if I know, I just report things as they come.”
Well then, you’ll want to move to Northridge, Ca.!
“If you go down, relax and roll.”
Ah, excuse my, but the entire point of the leather, (or Aerostich or similar) is so you don’t roll but rather slide. In fact, that’s one of the ways they test ’em, they fill ’em full of weights and dummy, and throw ’em off a truck. Rolling instead of sliding is a fail.
I like my Dad’s advice much better.
But this is what I always say: Motorcycling is obviously much safer than people realise. You can operate and make decisions entirely based on myth and misinformation, never get trained, buy dangerously modified bikes, even never get a license to drive one, and still survive. Imagine how nice it can be if you put a little thought into it!
Møøser needs to pay more attention to who is saying what. Clue: my first big bike was a Norton 850 Commando. Back in the day riding a Norton or worse, a BMW, in the wrong districts – meaning where HD buffoons congregate – was to court unwanted attention of the physical sort.
Hey, we know not ALL HD riders are tools, buffoons, caricatures, poseurs, wannabes, dimwit meth-heads, and so on, it’s just that the vast majority ARE. And don’t even get me started on paying premium prices for 90 year old technology that wasn’t even very good at the time.
Motorcycling is obviously much safer than people realise.
I would say it’s like flying – not inherently dangerous but terribly unforgiving.
I think there’s more danger today than years ago, however. Not because the equipment isn’t better – it is. I just think drivers are much worse than they were 20 years ago.
Too many people steering with their knee while holding a latte in one hand and a cell phone pressed to their ear with the other hand.
I get scared in my car enough as it is.
Let me put it this way: I’m one of those rare people who know how to set the valves on a desmo. I have engineer blood. Don’t EVEN think I’m going to soft pedal my innate disdain for all things HD.
“Møøser needs to pay more attention to who is saying what.”
Yes, I quoted one person, and directed the comment at another. That was just to show that I am not overexcited, and my mouth is not foaming, and I’m completely calm and rational, well except for this twitching in my forehead, but it goes away after the first couple drinks. It’s early yet.
Oh gosh, how I lusted after a Norton when I was young. I saw so few motorcycles, and didn’t think there could be anything more exciting than a Triumph till I saw those canted-forward Norton engines. And “850” seemed huge! Beautiful motorcycles, still stunning today, when I see them around.
Oh gosh, how I lusted after a Norton when I was young.
I still lust after them.
I told my wife she wouldn’t to worry about me actually riding it if I bought one as it would probably be about as reliable as the Jaguar I used to own.
I would say it’s like flying – not inherently dangerous but terribly unforgiving.
Hear hear. I used to say to friends who thought our scuba hobby was horribly dangerous “it’s not particularly dangerous it’s just that mistakes tend to be fatal.”
“Hey, we know not ALL HD riders are tools, buffoons, caricatures, poseurs, wannabes, dimwit meth-heads, and so on”
Oh, it’s not Harley riders I don’t like. They are in their way, much like most other riders.
It’s the product, and the company I can’t stand. When Fascism comes to America, it’ll be wrapped in the flag, and carrying the cross. And without a single doubt, riding a Harley.
Oh – the proper term nowadays is “donorcycle.” Just finished appointment at the sleep lab, getting my CPAP machine tuned up and such. The guy saw my Cortech jacket and (brand new!) Nolan helmet ( which I love love love) and ran to the front door to see what I was riding. “Is that a TL1000?” SV1000, the TL’s successor – those we’re know as the Widowmaker. “They had some stability problems – wobbly front end?” Yeah, TL stands for TanksLapper.” We spent the entire time reminiscing over his 77 Moto Guzzi and other bikey shit. About my age, he’s married to an ICU nurse who won’t let him have a bike.
I try to be extra careful around motorcycles, but honestly, a lot of those guys seem to have a death wish. They whip from lane to lane at 90+ mph, blow past you in the same lane, and generally act like they’re driving a tank or a video game or something. There’s a reason ER personnel call them “donorcycles.”
Pup, goddamn you and your fast fingers.
I don’t see how Harley manages to sell bikes right now.
In this economy I can’t imagine that many people wanting to shell out $20,000 for a toy.
Their sales are way down but there are still a lot people around with more money than sense.
“Hear hear. I used to say to friends who thought our scuba hobby was horribly dangerous”
Can you imagine somebody taking up SCUBA diving, or flying planes, with no training or certs at all? Just because they can afford the equipment?
Well, that’s the situatiuon with bikes. And to top it off, most of the manufacturers make lots of decent bikes in all sizes at all prices, but they won’t sell ’em in the US. Nope, we buy to their most profitable items: big spurt bikes, and “cruisers” and dirt bikes.
I wonder if racing style differences between the US and Europe is why Harleys flourished here and other bikes didn’t. In the US, the popular racing formats were board track, speedway, drag racing and hill climbing. None of those types of racing really rewarded anything other than engine size, while in Europe, they were more into road racing and GP style events that emphasized handling and braking as well as much or more as sheer engine size.
“I try to be extra careful around motorcycles,”
Fortunately, Washington State drivers are very considerate of motorcycles, when they can see you. After 20 years riding here I think I have the right to come to a conclusion. They haven’t hit me yet, and that must have taken a lot of attentive and careful driving.
“I wonder if racing style differences between the US and Europe is why Harleys flourished here”
Gosh I wonder if Harley’s numerous noise, safety and EPA exceptions had something to do with it. And wasn’t there a couple of bailouts involved? Not to mention their collaboration with the military.
And by that time America had reached a state of political and moral retardation where people would pay that much money to be get their share of an identity based on a consumer product, and the rest, as they say, is history.
“and generally act like they’re driving a tank or a video game or something.”
Which is really funny, because as a motorcyclist, you are the most vulnerable person on the road. Your life can be ended by one jerk of a steering-wheel. Even more so than a bicyclist, in many ways, who can at least walk or push his machine. You depend on the good will and driving skill of every person you meet.
So, of course, the best thing to do is piss ’em all of, and be sure to confuse them too, by coming from all angles and at high speed. And if your exhaust can make alarming, disorienting noises, why you’re way ahead of the game! And encourage your friends to do that to!. And be sure to believe all those sport bike ads about “dominating the road!”
“In this economy I can’t imagine that many people wanting to shell out $20,000 for a toy.”
I don’t know; where I live, the military is doing fine, and military personnel get all kinds credit at the bike shops, especially Harley. They’re still buying plenty of bikes. And anticipating war on Syria or Iran keeps everybody economically optimistic here, in spite of any sequestration problems.
If I’m not mistaken, we’ve already lost some sailors here this year to MC accidents.
“About my age, he’s married to an ICU nurse who won’t let him have a bike.”
And I’m married to a wife who won’t let me have an ICU nurse. What a world, it gets me down sometimes.
“Like people, bikes at their core are all the same.”
Maybe I should clarify this. Two wheels, engine, brakes.
I don’t go hating on folks who chose significant others that aren’t up to my ideals, whatever those may be. Neither do I hate on folks who choose a different bike than I have chosen. I see no great difference in that respect.
Why, then, why aren’t we all riding Honda 750s with 9? extensions?
Because it’s dangerous as heck. I did fine with it on those squiggly roads southwest of Madison, WI. Whether it was skill or luck that I wasn’t severely injured riding it I guess will probably depend on whether it’s you or me making the judgement, eh?
Ah, excuse my, but the entire point of the leather, (or Aerostich or similar) is so you don’t roll but rather slide.
What if you aren’t wearing leather? I could only afford the bike and gas at the time. Dad’s advice worked for me. My rider didn’t do it and got some severe rash.
And if I see you on the road, I’ll wave, and smile. So watch out. You might wave back before you think about it.
Dude, I’ll be waving the whole way. I couldn’t care less what brand you’re sitting on. I have no hate for fellow bikers. We share a common spirit.
Thanks for the conversation.
“When Fascism comes to America, it’ll be wrapped in the flag, and carrying the cross. And without a single doubt, riding a Harley.”
Oh please, feel free. There’s no copyright. Heck, say you said it, I’m easy. I’m pretty stoked, I never thought I could improve Mencken, but I just did!
“Dude, I’ll be waving the whole way”
Try keeping your hands on the apehangers, if you can reach ’em. They steer better that way.
HITLER PENIS! http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/clt/3787897546.html
Oh please, feel free. There’s no copyright. Heck, say you said it, I’m easy. I’m pretty stoked, I never thought I could improve Mencken, but I just did!
Mmmmm, no. Not Mencken.
Try keeping your hands on the apehangers, if you can reach ‘em. They steer better that way.
An Ultra is a big-ass dresser. I’ve never seen dressers with apehangers.
“What if you aren’t wearing leather?”
The Cordura jackets are just as good, possibly better, and less than half the price of leather. A quarter in some cases. I just happen to like leather, don’t you? Ever sniffed a woman’s tiny little gracefully-curved racing glove, after a long ride? Oh. come on, man, you know you have.
And those women’s road-racing boots, in those oh-so-tiny sizes?
Ever bury your nose in a woman’s helemet after a long ride , and it smells like freshly washed hair, leather, her perfume and a tiny touch of exhaust? Mmmmm.
I often put a few drops of high-temp bearing grease behind my earlobes, to remind her that I haven’t forgotten a man’s motoring heritage.
Mooser I get it, it’s personal. Nothing anyone of us can say will convince you to rhetorically live and let live. There isn’t a single large manufacturer of motorcycles still in business that hasn’t at least tried to do all of the above. They need to move product. they need to sell bikes to keep the lights on and the mortgage paid. I would point at the history of British motorcycle manufacturing in the post WWII era. Government ownership, government bailouts and loans, tariffs, you name it. I just don’t understand why a pretty vanilla case of classic American Manufacturing and all that it entails* inspires such vitriol.
Were you this incenses at the various GM and Chrysler bailouts? Sturgeon’s law applies to motorcycles and companies too.
*cases of American Manufacturing post WWII include incompetence, malfeasance, collusion, outsourcing strikebreaking union busting pollution, regulatory capture, industrial plagiarism, industrial self plagiarism and other symptoms too numerous to mention.
“Mmmmm, no. Not Mencken.”
Who cares! I think it has an excllent ring to it. Wait, if it wasn’t Mencken who said “wrapped in the flag, carrying the cross” who was it? If only there was some kind of machine or device which could help me find this out!
I rode a Jap bike back in the 1980s. The Harley riders treated me like I was a Communist sympathizer or worse.
Fuck ’em
“Nothing anyone of us can say will convince you to rhetorically live and let live.”
So how many Harleys have I wrecked, and how many Harley owners have I injured so far?
Riding a motorcycle does not obligate me to think that they are anything but another form of consumer junk, and sold the same way and the companies which make them are probably a crappy as any other company.
Besides, I thought Harley riders were tough? They can’t take a little persiflage without whining and calling it (ralph!) “racism”? And ‘hate”?
Oh give me a friggin break. They bought a cruddy bike, not my love or sympathy.
“The Harley riders treated me like I was a Communist sympathizer or worse.”
Didn’t know you had run into the House Un-American Activities Commission Motorcycle Club, did you.
So why are Harley riders such state-sucking snitches? And such police-worshippers. And so sen-si-tive.
I thought they were supposed to be tough rebels.
Ever bury your nose in a woman’s helemet after a long ride
Is that what it’s called nowadays? I’m so old.
I agree the smell of ladies and leather sounds intoxicating. Sadly, I’ve not had the opportunity to experience it.
I rode a Jap bike back in the 1980s. The Harley riders treated me like I was a Communist sympathizer or worse.
Me too when I was on my Honda. I didn’t hate then and won’t do it now. What good does it do to hate?
” I just don’t understand why a pretty vanilla case of classic American Manufacturing and all that it entails* inspires such vitriol.”
Helmut, this mild persiflage directed at an inanimate object is vitriol? Why, this ain’t vitriol! (As Tom Sawyer said. I believe it turned out to be verdigris, instead.)
Vitriol? Heck, I could throw it all over your face and you wouldn’t even get exfoliated!
What good does it do to hate?
When they develop a hate-powered bike you’ll be singing a different tune. A hate-y one filled with hate.
What good does it do to hate?
Hey, when people go to that much time and effort to cultivate an anti-social, outlaw image why should they be upset when I treat them like the anti-social outlaws they seemingly want to be?
Sturgeon’s law applies to motorcycles and companies too.
You got me, Helmut, you win! I’m fully earwormed, and will be hearing Madonna in my head all day. “Like a sturgeon, smoking for the very first time…”
Well, lox vobiscum, my friend, and don’t take any wooden rhetoric. I gotta go get some aural pyrantel pamoate.
“What good does it do to hate?”
Men of Rome, lock up your wives! The Mild Bunch has arrived!
When they develop a hate-powered bike you’ll be singing a different tune. A hate-y one filled with hate.
That there would solve our energy problems.
“Hey, when people go to that much time and effort to cultivate an anti-social, outlaw image why should they be upset when I treat them like the anti-social outlaws they seemingly want to be?”
Major Kong, you don’t understand. See, they’re nice, all-American patriotic anti-social outlaws and rebels.
Hey, when people go to that much time and effort to cultivate an anti-social, outlaw image why should they be upset when I treat them like the anti-social outlaws they seemingly want to be?
That’s pretty broad brush you’re swinging there. Just don’t get any on me. I’m not the stereotype you describe.
“Mooser I get it, it’s personal.”
You think that just because when I saw “Easy Rider” I fled from the theater sobbing, as soon as I saw the two “choppers”, I have some kinda personal grudge?
And Helmut, I don’t care what anybody says, I did not cheer at the end.
I posted the following on our Ducati forum a while ago:
“Those fictional biker gang names are always so over the top “Sons of Anarchy” bleah. They almost me want to start a biker gang called the “Nephews of Civil Unrest” or something.”
which led to:
“The Purveyors Of Destruction…And Candy.”
“Cousins of Disobedience”
“The Red Headed Step Children of Incontinence”
“Uncles of Acid Reflux”
“Associates of dissatisfaction”
“Disciple’s of the Status Quo”
“Second cousins (twice removed) of peevishness”
“Easily Provoked Motorcycle Club”
” I’m not the stereotype you describe”
With a Honda 750 with 9″ fork extensions? No not at all, nothing stereotypical about that, no way.
BTW, that attitude that the pavement owes you a soft landing if you choose not to wear protective gear (“But what if you’re not wearing leather”) is not streotypical, not at all. In fact, I’ve never come across it before!
I’ll add:
“Hello Kitty Death Angels”
“Hell’s Accountants”
“Mid-Life Crisis Rebels”
BTW, that attitude that the pavement owes you a soft landing if you choose not to wear protective gear (“But what if you’re not wearing leather”) is not streotypical, not at all. In fact, I’ve never come across it before!
You can twist as much as you want but I ain’t gonna dance. I never said I expected to get out unscathed. Made no mention whatsoever, so you might wanna check yourself. Really.
“Those fictional biker gang names are always so over the top “Sons of Anarchy” bleah.
The name of my all-Jewish Sport Bike Posse and Motorcycle Minyan is called “The Litvaks”
Our Women’s auxiliary is called “The Bitchin Balboostehs”
Non-Jewish members are accommodated in “The Righteous Gentiles MC”
But since kick-starters disappeared we don’t need them much for the Saturday rides. A little button we can push on Saturday.
We’re well known, and Deli owners from here to Portland shudder at the mention of our name. And we have a nasty reputation for under-tipping.
But we have parties, and our favorite band, “The Gratefull Drek” plays.
Our Motto: “Eat, Pray, and Ride, Already!”
Our colors:(and you better respect e’m!) shows a Star-of-David being run down by an 8-ball.
“I never said I expected to get out unscathed. “
You ride, expecting to be hurt? Okay, sure. Remind me to engage you for motorcycle training. Maybe you could teach me how to fall.
Now I know why Harley never installed a reverse gear, like the Gold Wing. Considering how passive-aggressive Harley owners seem to be, it wouldn’t have lasted through break-in.
“Just don’t get any on me. I’m not the stereotype you describe.”
That rainbow Elctra-Glide must be stunning!
Delaware. Minnesota next. Falling like dominos!
They haven’t hit me yet
May there never be a “yet.”
You ride, expecting to be hurt?
I said nothing either way about my expectations, that was the point. You’re just making it up like a straw man.
I’ve got nothing to teach you, by your own assessment. Perhaps now you can refrain from being so disingenuous?
I don’t like noise. I especially don’t like it when I’m trying to sleep (I work nights and sleep days).
I’d say 9 out of 10 times, when I get woken up it’s some idiot on a Harley (trust me, I know what they sound like) with loud pipes blasting down the road in front of my hotel.
Yeah, there are other culprits but Harley riders do this more often by far. They love the sound of their bikes and they must assume that the rest of us do too.
And don’t give me the “Loud pipes save lives” bullcrap, I’ve heard it before.
The sound of your V-twin with straight pipes might be music to your ears but to me it’s just fucking noise and it’s making me miserable.
It’s as bad as the kid in the Honda Civic with the 1000-watt stereo and the bass cranked way up.
So you want me to treat you guys with more civility? Then put the factory exhaust back on the damn thing for starters.
idiot on a Harley (trust me, I know what they sound like) with loud pipes
POTATO POTATO POTATO
“May there never be a “yet.”
Thank you, and same to you. My opinion is on the whole NW drivers are very considerate of bikes, when they can see them. And when the bikes drive at a rate they can comprehend, and do normal stuff, they are very, very considerate.
You know, I’ve had auto drivers actually stop and thank me for wearing a Conspicuity vest. Naturally I curse at them. I always keep the reputation of the motorcycling family in mind.
“And don’t give me the “Loud pipes save lives” bullcrap, I’ve heard it before”
Loud pipes frighten and disorient car drivers, and anger them. Sport bikes, especially modified ones, can be as bad or worse then Harleys in this respect: they can be very quiet at low revs and then scream like a banshee when goosed.
You gotta operate at a rate which allows car drivers to make normal judgements.
“Perhaps now you can refrain from being so disingenuous?”
Uh, Willy, do you know where you are? We are all ingenues here.
“When Fascism comes to America, it’ll be wrapped in the flag, and carrying the cross. And without a single doubt, riding a Harley.”
I Googled, and not only is it not Mencken, it’s not even original. As a matter of fact, it was used in a Harley-Davidson ad. So I guess it’s copywrited, too. Darn, I thought I said something clever for a minute.
Uh, Willy, do you know where you are?
I’m right here! Reminds me of the intro to Mr. Slater’s Parrot by the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band:
Man #1: Hello, and how did you find yourself this morning?
Man #2: Well I just rolled back the sheets and there I was.
We are all ingenues here.
For fun I’ll agree but seriously, the folks here (the writers and the commentariat) are some of the smartest, wittiest folks I’ve encountered.
“When they develop a hate-powered bike you’ll be singing a different tune. A hate-y one filled with hate.”
They’re only words, but words are all you have, to win this thread today!
I admit to a weakness for girls dressed in motorcycle kit. The moment when the helmet is removed, the hair cascades out…
See also Luciana Paluzzi, “Thunderball.” One of the hottest Bond girls in the franchise.
A guy just down the street from me has 3 — THREE — Vincents, one with a sidecar. And just sold one of his two NorVins. Astonishingly beautiful things. Nice guy too, dammit, retired professor/scientist — I can’t even hate him for it!
Also, too, &c: I like our new Sadly “all motorcycles, all the time” format, but I imagine the rest of the commentariat is beginning to become tired of our chatter…
Also, too, &c: I like our new Sadly “all motorcycles, all the time” format, but I imagine the rest of the commentariat is beginning to become tired of our chatter…
Aah fuckem. Fuckemall.
“Sadly “all motorcycles, all the time” format,”
It’s the spring weather. I’m sure it’ll pass. And a ‘unique page view’ is, after all, a ‘unique page view’. And that, I’ve heard (others here would know much better than me) is a good thing for a website.
Besides, it’s nice to be in a discussion about a subject I know a little about. Soon we’ll go back to talking about sex, and then where will I be?
I’ll be in my bunk.
“And just sold one of his two NorVins.”
I think those were featured in a magazine, aimed at your average teen, like Benny’s electric boots and mohair suit.
Norton frame and Vincent V engine? wasn’t it?
Yep, Norton “Featherbed” frame with a Vincent twin. People would do “Tritons” too — Norton frame, Triumph engine.
And don’t give me the “Loud pipes save lives” bullcrap,
I guess it could,…if the pipes faced forward, and if the Doppler Effect didn’t exist, but still,…FREEDUMB!!11!!
“We are all ingenues here.”
“For fun I’ll agree”
Uh-oh! Could we be headed for a down-low high-side?
Back to stuff that makes no sense…Colbert Busch loses to a sack of crap.
Could we be headed for a down-low high-side?
HOT.
Colbert Busch loses to a sack of crap.
Maybe he’ll finally stop breaking into his ex-wife’s house now that he’s got a job.
Okay, muisc lesson is over. One hour of ecstasy. We played “That’s All” and started working on “Funky Mama”
It’s the high point of my week. Now it’s over, and I’m going to bed. Thanks all, Good Night. God, I wish life could be one long music lesson, but it’s too late for that.
Fuckitall! I RIDE A SCOOTER!
.
You wanna talk about universally-reviled vehicles? Scooters are it, boy.
.
A guy just down the street from me has 3 — THREE — Vincents, one with a sidecar
You live up the street from Richard Thompson? Which motorcycle does he ride on the wall of death?
Fuckitall! I RIDE A SCOOTER!
Yeah, you got balls as big as pickle jars.
Serious bidniss.
Not in a fuckin’ million years.
Dykes on bikes!
…
I mean, new post.
I’ll be in my bunk.
I think just about every time Major Kong writes one of these particularly regarding a name with which I am unfamiliar a trip to google is inevitably made followed by a mental humina humina.
…
“You wanna talk about universally-reviled vehicles? Scooters are it, boy.”
Do you have a covered scooter? Those are cool. Scooters should be a major form of local transportation, replacing bicycles, which waste energy. Ever notice how tired you get when you ride one? All wasted energy.
Also, too, &c: I like our new Sadly “all motorcycles, all the time” format, but I imagine the rest of the commentariat is beginning to become tired of our chatter…
Hey, the Bonzo Dog Band reference made it all worthwhile. When Sadlies discuss specialty tastes I don’t share, it ain’t no thing because no matter what the subject, shit’s gonna get outrageously funny before you know it.
Hey, a dead thread with no D****s appearances so far. This is as good as it gets.
I find his contributions more amusing if you can imagine them spoken by the Watcher from the 1967 Fantastic Four H-B cartoons narrating them, or Ben Grimm doing so and then saying, “Watch out, Neiwertites, it’s clobbering time!”
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