If radical christianity were funded to the same extent that radical islam is by petrodollars, we would already be living in the Republic of Gilead.

Daily Kos and Rosie O’Donnell battle for dominion over my soul…

“If radical christianity were funded to the same extent that radical islam is ”

It is, it’s called “faith-based initiatives.”

Bow to your chubby lesbian overlord!

Eh, fuck it, there’s no point. Reasonable discourse is impossible.

Time just to do away with the whole species and let nature take a do-over. Maybe a race of highly intelligent lizards or insects could do a better job. As a dominant species, we really suck.

I thought the goal here WAS to kill innocent Muslims. I mean didn’t you all get the memo that this was the third awakening? But this time the awakening was more like a spiritual killing rather than healing. The folks from christendom are on the move and we are being told to get out the lawn chairs and drink pink lemonde while the middle east burns.

I love that clip of Star (sic?) Jones getting smacked in the face with the football. Goddamn that is classic.

I’m feeling particularly dumb and American this morning. Isn’t it about time for some of Retardo’s cut-n-paste historical analysis?

I enjoy the quotes around “bombing”.

I mean, the thought of it! Americans dropping bombs on people in Iraq. It is to laugh.

The quotation marks around “bombing” are brought to you courtesy of Kaye Grogan Enterprises.

The fact is that so-called moderates like Bob Casey will be tied to extremist liberals like Rosie O’Donnell.

Bob giving the money back won’t be enough. Rosie giving him money says a lot about Bob Casey’s extreme liberal views.

Stuff like this is priceless.

“House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi Has Informed Colleagues That She Intends To Force Harman To Step Down [as leading Democrat on Intelligence], Replacing Her With Rep. Alcee L. Hastings Of Florida, The Second Most Senior Democrat On The Intelligence Panel”

Alcee Hastings is known for being a federal judge, who was impeached for bribery.

But remember, Republicans have the culture of corruption. Nancy Pelosi says so.

And remember, Democrats want our intelligence secrets in the hands of a man who was removed from one job due to bribery.

If Nancy Pelosi was a plant for the GOP, she would be doing a heckuva job.

There are houseplants that could be a better speaker than Nancy “Yipping Surrender Poodle” Pelosi

One more thing.

Here is the ad I’d write for Rick Santorum:

[Rick Santorum is shown in front of a screen]

Santorum: I’m Rick Santorum and I approve this messege, because Hollywood is too liberal for Pennsylvania.

[Stock clips of Rosie O’Donnell in View or View-ish settings are shown]

VO: Rosie O’Donnell says that Christians are just as bad as the terrorists we’re fighting.

[Cut to a photo of Bob Casey Jr]

VO: But Hollywood Liberal Rosie O’Donnell gave money to Bob Casey Jr

[Cut to a photo showing Rosie and Bob Casey Jr side by side]

VO: Bob Casey Jr, he’ll take money from people who support abortion, gun control, gay marriage, and who advocate defeatist policies in Iraq. He won’t be Pennsylvania’s Senator, he’ll be Hollywood’s puppet.

[Fade out]

You could do the same sort of ad for Roskam in Illinois-6, Musgrave in Colorado-4, Curt Weldon in Pennsylvania, and Mike DeWine in Ohio

Defeatocrats Across The Country Take Their Cues From Hollywood Friends And Advisors

Wow! I didn’t know that! Do I get to pick my Hollywood friend/advisor? Scarlett Johansen, call me. George Clooney, let’s do lunch.

Y’know, Gary, given that Santorum’s very name has been inextricably linked with sexual practices not approved by Focus on the Family (“that frothy mix of lube and fecal matter…”, thanks to Dan Savage), I don’t think he’d want to tangle with high-profile lesbians.

But hey, gin up that ad. The response to it will be fun indeed.

How’s this for a late-season GOP ad:

“Lib’rals and Muslims and dykes! Oh, my! Lib’rals and Muslims and dykes! Oh, my!”
with Rosie O’Donnell popping onscreen at the end, intoning; “And your little dog, too!”

Oddly, after reading Gary’s last three posts, I feel just like the time I stayed up all night with a sick child, just waiting for him to puke it up. Finally he did. All at once. Then he went to sleep. I hope Gary’s resting now.

You know Gary couldn’t resist this thread, what with the Rosie O’Donnell reference and all. She’s a lesbian and a Hollywood liberal to boot!

It’s too late, Gary. The cunnilingus-loving Rosie O’Donnell cannot save the Republican party. The “Hollywood Liberals” shtick is played out.

Gary, your gift for directing propaganda is truly…a gift. Don’t squander it, my man. Get out there and start producing what this country needs: commercials that speciously tie every Democrat ever to the “crazy liberals” in Hollywood who run the country. Obviously.
Get to it!

Scarlett Johansen can influence me any time she wants.

(I know one day she’ll start answering all my letters.)

“House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi Has Informed Colleagues That She Intends To Force Harman To Step Down [as leading Democrat on Intelligence], Replacing Her With Rep. Alcee L. Hastings Of Florida, The Second Most Senior Democrat On The Intelligence Panelâ€?

Gary has been infected with the dread disease Excess Capitalization Syndrome.

Gary should be the political adviser for these Republicans. I think he’ll be quite successful. So far his political advice has been right on! Running against a TV show! Running against a bereaved mother. Running against comedians!

His political instincts are awesome!

“Cut-And-Run Defeatocrats Across The Country Take Their Cues From Hollywood Friends And Advisors”

desperation smells good

Alcee Hastings.

Judge.

Democrat.

BLACK MAN.

(That thud you heard was Gary fainting in fear.)

FB

Wait a minute. Seriously.

That’s a real GOP site? Not some home-made wingnut fanzine? It looks like something you’d see masking-taped to a bulletin board on a college campus.

I know they have no principles, sense of decency, honor, or ability to be honest, but can’t they at least get a fucking art director?

So, honestly, there are people out there who use the word “Defeatocrats” in complete seriousness? Every time I see that phrase I’m reminded of the Limbaughesque character Birch Barlow from the Simpsons.

Barlow: “Mayor Quimby, you are well known, sir for your lenient stance on crime, but suppose for a second that your house was ransacked by thugs, your family tied up in the basement with socks in their mouths, you try to open the door but there’s too much blood on the knob…”
Quimby: “What is your question?”
Barlow: “My question’s about the budget, sir.”

Bow to your chubby lesbian overlord!
Now that’s a plan I can get behind. Maybe if Rosie -henceforth to be known as The Ferocious One- took over for Zod as supreme ruler, bad lesbian plot lines could be banned! Yay, no more pregnancies!

…
Sweet babyjesus, the sheer volume of quotation marks in that teeny-weenie paragraph is annoying the fuck out of me.

But remember, Republicans have the culture of corruption. Nancy Pelosi says so.

Let’s see. Rep. Tom DeLay (R-TX) resigned. Rep. Duke Cunningham (R-CA) convicted. Rep. Bob Ney (R-OH) just pled guilty.

Goddamn that liar Nancy Pelosi.

*cuts*
*pastes*
*runs*

Judging from the applause Rosie got from the studio audience for her line about the fundies, I’d say Homeland Security will soon be doing sweep arrests in the area for ‘enemy combatants’ in the War on Christmas.

The funniest part of this is watching the wingnuts yowl in outrage at what Rosie said, but then immediately discover there is no rational response. They cannot argue that what she said is false, christian nations are using terribly lethal military weapons against neighborhoods and civillians. When scarborough led with this story the other night (Olbermann just ended and i couldn’t find the remote) his response was that in the middle east she’d be stoned to death in a soccer stadium for being a lesbian. Not a peep about the validity of her statement – of course, how could there be? Right wing outrage at those objectively liberal facts again. They can squeal all they want, but when the only response is “She’s a Lesbian” and “Michael Moore is Fat”, well, they sort of come off looking “unserious”, to borrow the phrase….

mikey

Yeah, but can anyone actually stand to listen to the wench anyway (sorry, I have to start getting ready for talk like a pirate day)? Nobody can argue with her statement all we can do is be disgusted that the wingerdingers only outlet of outrage is Rosie. Shouldn’t they be up in arms about their own senators turning away from the insanity of the administration and finally saying, hey, we can’t continue to support your fucked up policies?

Ho hum. This year Rosie O’Donnell. Last year Whoopi Goldberg. The year before that, Margaret Cho.

The wingnuts really hate lesbian comics, don’t they?

Lesbian Comics – the biggest threat to civilization.

“Lesbian Comics – the biggest threat to civilization.”

Speak tha truth brudha…speak tha truth…

Actually, I thought beanie babies were the biggest threat to civilization right next to the super trapper trapper keeper. Cause if Rosie ever gets ahold of the super trapper trapper keeper then we are all doomed…

Actually, the Democratic response ad for Gary’s little plan has already been released. It shows the GOP candidates with…

George W. Bush.

Because, if you note, the GOP candidates aren’t showing themselves with…

George W. Bush.

The fact is… that Gary, or rather the puppeteer for whom Gary is a sock, is hoping to make Rosie O’Donnell the new Michael Moore. She’s not as fat as MM, but she has the additional scarey-to-wingtard factor of being both female and female-oriented. Hey, if Scarlett Johannsen were forced to choose between Rosie and Gary, can anyone doubt Scarlett would be ‘down with the rainbow’? And you know that when Karl Rove, hoping for some Elizabeth-from-Survivor Talibangelicalisms, clicked on the View and saw Rosie instead… well, he’s proud to say he’s never gotten over being beaten up by a little girl, and I’m sure Rosie gives him flashbacks.

When that ad does come out, at least we’ll know that ‘Ruppert’ is, indeed, a collective identity used by a lot of pasty GOP interns.

Gary Rupert is my desktop wallpaper.

cutie patootie!!~

Gary’s ok with the entire executive branch of the government being run by war criminals, and the leadership of the majority party of the legislature being riddled with people willing to sell out their position in the senate for a mess of golf trips and free dinners. That one negro from Florida, however, is absolutely unforgivable. Not only is he a Democrat, he’s a theiving evil darkie, as well.

You’re an evil, racist sack of shit, Gary. The only thing we have left to ask you is when you stopped being being a Grand Dragon in the KKK.

Wait a minute. Seriously.

I know they have no principles, sense of decency, honor, or ability to be honest, but can’t they at least get a fucking art director?

If you think that’s bad, just look at what happens when the GOP tries to beat The Onion at its own game.

I hope Rosie sits on Ken Mehlman. Naked.