Smearrhic Victory

Shorter Jonathan S. Tobin
Commentardy
“Hagel’s Critics Are Still the Winners”

  • Though it appears the Hagel nomination will be confirmed by the Senate, we who opposed it are still winners for we showed the world that we can smear anyone as an anti-Semitic traitor and totally get away with it.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


Cf.

 

Comments: 50

 
 
 

Pagliaccio! Wait, wrong clown.

 
 

You have to admire the Republican argument that “It would be unpatriotric to appoint Hagel as he would lack the credibility to function properly in such a crucial cabinet role, owing to the credibility-destroying lies we’ve been circulating about him.”
http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/gop-senators-urge-obama-to-drop-hagel-nomination

 
 

It sure is weird that a secretary of defense of the US has to have the defense of Israel be his highest priority.

 
 

we can smear anyone as an anti-Semitic traitor and totally get away with it.

Wasn’t pointing that out how Hagel got in trouble in the first place?

 
 

Chuck Hagel, immediately after being sworn in:

“I guess I was wrong about that Jewish Lobby thing after all…”

 
 

The real hoot is that Hagel is a conservative Republican. The right really is in circular firing squad mode, mistakenly thinking that President Obama is hiding in the middle of the circle.

 
 

Nyah, nyah! The fact that our asses were handed to us on a silver platter means we now have a silver platter.

 
 

Hagel’s inevitable confirmation will be a source of great frustration to many Americans who were dismayed at the prospect of letting a man who had clearly demonstrated his incompetence at his confirmation hearing run the Pentagon.

To me, the only “incompetence” he demonstrated was in not telling Ted Cruz, “Go fuck yourself, you snot-nosed little punk.”

 
 

Nyah, nyah! The fact that our asses were handed to us on a silver platter means we now have a silver platter.

I will steal that.

There’s an interesting slapfight going on at The Corner right now. This might be the fuel.

Mark Krikorian says they’re Mexicans and Muslims, big whoop.

John O’Sullivan:

Nor need you hire a researcher to uncover what they think. Mark writes regularly for the Corner. When were you last horrified or outraged by him? My guess is never.

There was this…

Mario Lopez is returning fire.

 
 

Immigration is a natural fissure for the great conservative coalition. The greedheads want more of it, the rednecks want it stopped. Pass the popcorn.

 
 

Smearrhic Victory

I like it, but certainly “Schmearrhic” would’ve been more Jewriffic. Jewtastic even.

 
 

The greedheads want more of it, the rednecks want it stopped. Pass the popcorn.

What all of them have to do is pretend it’s not about race, so Lopez tars the hawks as Malthusians.

 
 

The myth that human beings are “overpopulating” the earth…

Dear fucking God. I can’t. I just can’t. Maybe …

But the flyer Lopez distributed at Grover’s meeting was actually produced by the leftist National Immigration Forum (it says so on the flip side), an open-borders umbrella group funded by the Ford Foundation and George Soros.

Still with the George Soros SKREEE! What will these sorry sons of bitches do when the man dies? Blame his ghost? Shitards.

 
 

Shitards.

There’s nothing worse than being hoist on your own shitard.

 
 

The myth that human beings are “overpopulating” the earth…

When there is nothing left to eat but windblown sand, assholes like him will still be telling us overpopulation is a myth.

 
 

Or MOIST on your own shitard.

 
 

What will these sorry sons of bitches do when the man dies? Blame his ghost? Shitards.

They blamed ACORN for Romney’s 2012 fail. So, yeah.

 
 

When there is nothing left to eat but windblown sand, assholes like him will still be telling us overpopulation is a myth.

I suspect climate change and population explosion deniers will be converted into a protein source well before the windblown sand stage.

[Goes back to sharpening Henckels]

 
 

The myth that human beings are “overpopulating” the earth

Anyone propagating a Vatican talking point is in no position to describe other viewpoints as “myth”.

 
 

The fact is Senator Graham’s opposition to Obama’s nomination of a known Hammas supporter has shown the Heartland that Lindsay’s poof is incontrovertable. Suck it libs!

 
 

I will NOT suck Lindsey’s poof.

 
 

The fact is, I like hummus.

 
 

that Lindsay’s a poof is incontrovertable.

Agreed!

 
 

The fact is, I like hummus.

I dare say, I make pretty mean hummus.

 
 

I suspect climate change and population explosion deniers will be converted into a protein source well before the windblown sand stage.

mmmmmmmmmm…long pig….

 
 

mmmmmmmmmm…hummus….

 
 

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No, we’re the winners, because Hagel is getting confirmed, which generates wingnut tears, and all wingnut tears are sweet as nectar. That would be enough, but they sweetened the tears even more: as a bonus, we all got to hear about Ben Shapiro stepping on his own dick making a fool of himself yet again. The best line is at about 2:40 in the clip.

 
 

Well Jonnie, we have a special manufacturing process that keeps our prices low.

Dime a dozen for as many as you can afford.

Enjoy!

 
 

Did the pope resign because of a sex scandal?

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/02/22/priests-in-panties.html

 
 

Shouldn’t he have resigned because of a sex scandal?

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Oh man, some one please tell me that A.J. Slater isn’t a right-wing nutbag. I don’t think my heart can take it after finding out Lark Voorhes is crippled by OCD.

 
 

Why does a Pope always answer a question with a question?

 
 

Why does a Pope always answer a question with a question?

Because he shits in the woods?

 
 

Oh man, the Tweezers Shapiro failcapades are dangerously hilarious. And possibly the tipping point in Hagel’s confirmation.

Thanks Ben!

“This sort of thing drives me crazy because it undermines legitimate concerns about Sen. Hagel, his views and financial associations,” said a Senate Republican aide involved with the anti-Hagel efforts. “In this business we deal in facts or the pursuit of facts and making up groups like the Friends of Hamas distracts us from legitimate questions as to what private foreign foundations and wealthy foreign individuals are contributing to the Atlantic Council or investing in Sen. Hagel’s firms.”

Ow, my sides!

 
Pope in the Woods
 

Oh, if there is a God, give me a sign.

 
 

Why does a Pupe always answer a question about a Pope with a purple people eater and……………….

I’ll come in again.

 
 

Shit

 
 

Shoot, I accidentally stomped on this post with my new post. Sorry, HTML Mencken.

 
 

Cerberus, this post has been up for several hours. It’s tired and wanted relief. Any new post, any time, is a good thing. We’re cool.

 
 

Nyah, nyah! The fact that our asses were handed to us on a silver platter means we now have a silver platter.

Ooh, Shakezuela, I am so stealing that. With your kind permission of course.

Awesome. And from comments, looks like, not just me will steal that.

You have started a great Internet meme.

 
 

As a good little ObamaMooslimSochulustFemiNazi, I do not believe in property,* therefore it is impossible for you to steal my words because my words are in fact your words. Please use them in the name of the coming slaughter of WhiteyCapitalistChristanPigDogs.

That applies twice over for anyone with photoshop skills. (Hint.)

*Well, not my records and books. Touch those and I kill you deader the space between Palin’s ears. And cast not a covetous glance at my fabric, beads and various sewing/crafting supplies. Other than that, what is mine, is yours.

 
 

that Lindsay’s poof is incontrovertable.

That’s the best Fake Gary I’ve seen in some time.

 
 

Come on. You’ve got to admit that Hagel’s judgement is seriously in question due to his political associations. After all, he spent all those years as a Republican.

 
 

Shouldn’t he have resigned because of a sex scandal?

Yeah, but that was KIDS, which is OK, this one’s ADULTS, which is NOT.

Shakezula said,
February 23, 2013 at 4:03

Ooooo, CRAFTY STUFF!

 
 

After all, he spent all those years as a Republican.

OMG, “Friends of Ham-Ass!”

 
 

Silver platters yesterday, silver platters tomorrow, silver platters FOREVAR!

 
 

Also too:

“Smearrhic Victory” <==== NAILS THIS SPECTACLE OF DERPAZOID UGLINESS LIKE A BOSS

 
 

Hey now Gary Ruppert! I controverted his poof just the other day! Suck it cherself!

 
 

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