Hoo-ray 4 Kaye!
Kaye, is “on”… “fire,” this “week”:
The comeback kid . . . has his own “made for TV” mini-series
Kaye Grogan
September 9, 2006The Democrats always want you to believe that they are straight-shooters — unless of course the pistol is aimed at them, then they want those who couldn’t hit the side of a barn door if their life depended on it, pulling the trigger.
Kaye, I think I speak for all humanity when I say that no one likes having a gun put to their head, regardless of party affiliation.
When the shoe is on the other foot, the Democrats start getting bunions — raising cane and demanding that their good name and image be restored. What good name? — and forget the image altogether.
That reads like a retarded kid’s attempt at writing an E.E. Cummings poem.
Poor babies are upset because the missteps of their hero and God Bill Clinton — have come back to bite them in the backside. “Forget about the comeback kid, we just wish he would go away!” — is probably what a lot of loyalists are saying by now. But guys, remember many of you are touting that Clinton is the most popular politician in the world, so shouldn’t he have his own movie and Oscar?
But you can relax now. Oh, what little faith you have. Go out and get yourselves a mustard seed to boost your lagging faith. Surely, you had to know that ABC would come through for you guys and gals. After all, if you look bad — so do they.
In two short paragraphs, Kaye has demostrated that Derrida’s theory of deconstruction is correct: at its core, language has no concrete meaning and can be interpretted in multitude of ways. Or more accurately in this case, it can’t be interpreted at all.
There are just some things the people are not supposed to know, and incompetency is certainly high on the list, especially if it involves a Democrat.
When it comes to politics, the image means everything you know. And being biased is certainly not allowed on any “made for television” movie or documentary if it means exposing or divulging the truth, no matter how much the truth is supposed to set one free, unless the star or cast mates are on the other side of the aisle.
Kaye’s metaphors are getting more and more confusing as this piece goes on. The only plausible explanation is that Kaye is come kind of neo-Straussian who litters her text with subtle clues that only the most astute readers (i.e., Marie Jon’ and Pastor Swank) can decipher.
Either that or she’s gone on a glue bender.
Shucks! — I went out and bought several microwavable packages of popcorn, and two liters of soda, in anticipation of the upcoming “Path to 9/11” movie set to air on Sunday night.
God, I bet Kaye has wretched gas.
Now, I’m not going to waste my valuable time trying to watch a censored or botched up film.
What would we do in this world without killjoys? Instead of the Clinton Administration taking top-billing in the movie for lax security that probably led up to the worst attack on American soil to date — the Democrats want to share the limelight with the Bush Administration. Better yet — they would like for President Bush and his administration to take over the starring roles.
I am disappointed to hear that a scene depicting Sandy Berger advising then President Clinton to decline the offer to capture or kill Osama binLaden is in the movie. Watching Berger stuffing his socks with sensitive 9/11 documents would have been a lot more entertaining and accurate.
Kaye gets just a wee bit too excited at the thought of men stuffing paper in their clothes here, doesn’t she? Don’t be surprised to see her standing outside your local Chippendales show…
Executive producer Marc Platt is assuring everyone that if they feel like they have been wrongly portrayed in the movie, it was not his intention for the project to be either politically motivated — or to show personal points of view. Is he for real?
The very idea that the movie producers would use public records as the deciding factor to make sure they were being as close to the actual facts as possible when composing the movie. Don’t they know that the facts have to be spun by public relation news hounds for Democrats — before they get the green light for “lights — camera — and action?”
Hopefully, there won’t be any more of “those who wish to change history” folks viewing a similar political movie in the future before it airs.
And that’s just my opinion!
Off tha’ hook, K-Gro. You’ve penned another masterwork.
Perhaps it seems that the original “docudrama” is only highlighting Clinton’s failures in capturing bin Ladin because he’s the only one who actually tried. There are no failures on the path to 9/11 for Bush since he made no attempts. It is difficult to film ignorance and disregard. That is why Bush seems to come through relatively unscathed.
Ah, another well-trained and rhetorically brilliant defender of the Bush administration. Seriously, WTF? I assume the mustard seed thing is a biblical reference… I don’t know where she got the impression that democrats regard Clinton as “God”, considering we were always ripping on him for shit like welfare reform and NAFTA and DADT and DOMA. I think the argument is that Berger stuffed the papers down his slacks, not his socks, though I suppose since it didn’t happen anyway it doesn’t matter much.
As for the rest of it… Um. If Kaye develops mad cow disease, are we going to be able to tell?
“Raising cane?” Does she mean that ’cause of their bunions from their shoes-on-the-other-feet, they’re using canes, mebbe like waving them around? Or that they’re running sugar plantations? I got lost right there.
LACP – yeah, I was wondering the same thing about raising “cane.”
Apparently, when people get pissed off, they grow sugar crops. Interesting.
Come to think of it – you dont’ raise cane. You raise puppies or children. You grow cane. If she’d written “raze,” at least it would have been consistent, given the agricultural practice of burning cane fields.
[Monty Python]I think she’s talking about taxation….[/i]
And seriously, if someone’s shooting at me and he’s not Vash the Stampede, I sure as heck am going to be hoping he’s a cross-eyed, drunken guy missing his trigger finger.
Darnit! How do you embed a URL in the comment?
I tried. I really tried. But that shit was so messed up I couldn’t do anything with it.
[a href=url]url name[/a]
Replace the square brackets with the angle brackets (greater than and less than signs). And there ya go!
I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that K’aye means “raising Cain”, an archaic euphemism for “raising Hell” from back when you weren’t supposed to say “Hell” for fear of invoking the devil. (Cain being Adam and Eve’s eldest son, who killed his brother Abel, was often used as a metaphor for evil or violence or barbariansim (back when violence was considered “un-Christian” and “uncivilized”).
Hopefully, there won’t be any more of “those who wish to change history� folks viewing a similar political movie in the future before it airs.
Lessee, which left-wing luminaries and spin doctors were allowed to view the miniseries before it aired?
Rush Limbaugh
Hugh Hewitt
The Powerline Posse
The Corner Cohorts
Oh, and lets not forget the most important one of all: Patterico!
Yeah, I have to agree with Ka’ye: I hope none of these “let’s rewrite history” folks are allowed to pre-screen political movies ever again!
I find it amusing that Kaye, who loves to wave her Christianity around like a flag, can’t even get a basic Biblical allusion like “raising cain” correct.
I have a theory that there is a single copy editor working for RenewAmerica, the AFA, WorldNetDaily, etc., and he or she is really a liberal fiendishly working from within the wingnut institutions to bring down their grammar.
Somewhere Lynne Truss is crying. But don’t lose hope! There’s no sense crying over spilled apostrophes.
The whole mustard seed thing is a misused allusion as well. Christ used two parables about mustard seeds that I know of (it’s been a while since I read the whole Gospel), and neither describes using a mustard seed to boost lagging faith. Maybe she’s referring to some pagan ritual using mustard seed to renew faith in multimedia conglomerates?
Also, there are soooo many poor writers on the right side of the aisle, but I have yet to come across anyone on the left that comes across as this, well, thick. Can anyone suggest a leftward blog that is this crazy? Or are reactionaries naturally spurning of all school learnin’?
Librul Democrat traitors raise cane. Godly Republican patriots’ sugar comes exclusively from beets.
I was reading that and thought to myself, “This is no BOAT accident!”
Avoid cliches … like the plague.
I meant to ponder the “raising cane” thing, but it’s like sticking a white marshmallow in your box of Lucky Charms, there’s just too much else going on in there, and you’ll never even remember you saw it later.
Really, what I thought while I was reading that was that back in the early nineties there was a big deal among the lamer sorts of new-agers about “automatic writing”. I’m convinced Kaye’s found a way to make money off it.
Maybe she’s referring to some pagan ritual using mustard seed to renew faith in multimedia conglomerates?
I considered that, but the only ones I know of involving mustard seed are the ones where you scatter them on a houseguest’s belongings to get them to leave. Uh, hmm. I’ll be back in a second.
Doesn’t her top (I trust that is a top and not her skin) clash with the picture behind her?
Maybe she meant raising our canes because we have bunions because the, um, let’s see, docudrama has caused us to put on our shoes wrong and we’re out there shaking our canes and yelling, “Hey, you right-wing historians! Get off of our version of the truth!”
It makes as much sense as anything.
The Democrats always want you to believe that they are straight-shooters — unless of course the pistol is aimed at them, then they want those who couldn’t hit the side of a barn door if their life depended on it, pulling the trigger.
Uh yeah, if someone’s pointing a gun at me, I would certainly prefer for them to have really lousy aim, wouldn’t you?
Last I heard, Adam raised a Cain.
Clinton failed in capturing bin Ladin because he’s the only one who actually tried.
Excellent point.
I hearby award Kay Grogan (drumroll please) the much-coveted (trumpet fanfare) Superfluous Apostrophe of Incomprehensitude! From this day forth she shall be known as Kay Grogan’ !
raising cane
It looks like Grogan has discovered the Democrats secret scheme to produce their own rattan furniture.
I gather that Republicans want someone to shoot them in the head, just as long as they have bunions on their cane.
My own failed attempt with raising cane involved an image of Nick Cave hobbling around on one foot while singing “Sugar Sugar Sugar”, he’s kind of devilish so it could work, and his hobbling could be from a bunion, I don’t know, but then she said to forget the whole image so I folded.
On the other hand, straight shooters, when the shoe is on the other foot, start getting bunions, unless of course the foot is aimed at them, then they want those who couldn’t clip an ingrown nail to bite them in the backside while pulling the big toe as if their life depended on it.
Go ye therefore then and procure yourself an egg custard, 2 liters of soda,
and several microwavable packages of popcorn, all the while stuffing your socks
with burgers to boost your flagging pace …
Grogan is representative of the small-minded, unthinking, blindly partisan hacks the GOP churns out every damned day. It’s just a matter of time before like-minded idiots decide to act on their rage and kill a liberal for having the wrong bumpersticker, t-shirt, or campaign button. What has this country come to?
Bubba asked “Can anyone suggest a leftward blog that is this crazy?”
Unfortunately, yes. Deb Frisch makes about as much sense as Kaye. Maybe less. And she’s not even a little funny. Well – a little funny. But not funny enough.
My brain hurts from all the stupid.
Hmmm… So , her argument breaks down something like:
Us: “:Hey, could you guys maybe, like, not make shit up then try to pass it off as official truth?”
Kaye: “Tch. Such whiners. Can’t take the heat, eh?”
Alternatly;
Dilbert: “Hey, wait a minute, I didn’t DO any of this!”
Catbert: “You should of thought of that before I forged your confession.”
I wonder if you can boil glue and inject it directly into your veins…
I actually think “raising cane” is significant. The obvious misspelling betrays a use of phrases that she doesn’t begin to understand. How could you know what it means to “raise Cain” if you think it has something to do with canes.
That’s the problem with the wingnuts in general. They use empty phrases, meaningless words, that only ever sound like they mean something. Cane/Cain sound the same. But if the speaker would have misspelled it, she wouldn’t know what it meant to use it in speech either.
“And that’s just my opinion!”
Meaning: Wait til you see what I’m capable of when I deal in facts!
(If this isn’t proof that the Internet has attained self-consciousness and can now write, however badly, its own commentary, I don’t know what is.)
On the other hand, straight shooters, when the shoe is on the other foot, start getting bunions, unless of course the foot is aimed at them, then they want those who couldn’t clip an ingrown nail to bite them in the backside while pulling the big toe as if their life depended on it.
Go ye therefore then and procure yourself an egg custard, 2 liters of soda,
and several microwavable packages of popcorn, all the while stuffing your socks with burgers to boost your flagging pace …
Okay, who made the funny? Own up, you, and I’ll start the petition to get you Kaye’s job.
Anonymously yours, D. Sidhe.
Could she have been trying for a play on words? Raising Caine + foot metaphors = Raising “cane.”
Or maybe “caine” is too close to “cocaine,” and she’s trying to throw us off the scent! As it were.
Rosebud.
Whig, you’re forgetting the very real possibility that she thinks the Biblical name “Cain” is spelled “Cane.” Being the religious fanatic that she is, I’m sure she’s heard some pastor rant on about Cain and Abel. But when was the last time Kaye actually sat down and read The Bible? Or anything else for that matter?
Anyone who read anything aside from Andy Capp comic strips would have a better command of the language than Kaye.
Sorry, Brad R., but I’m having trouble with this wingnut. Is she supposed to have some kind of neurological impairment, like “Rain Man”, or “Awakenings”? I mean, what the _hell_ am I doing here?!
OK. I’ll stop.
Lons—
you’re forgetting the very real possibility that she thinks the Biblical name “Cain” is spelled “Cane.”
Then why didn’t she capitalize it?
…why didn’t she capitalize it?
Librul Democrat traitors raise cane. Godly Republican patriots’ sugar comes exclusively from beets.
Some of Jeb Bush’s biggest supporters would take issue with you on that. The ex-Batistas now waiting for their chance to re-conquer Cuba have been doing their best to turn the Everglades into a sugar-cane monoculture. Always remember, if there’s something ugly being done, there’s a nest of Repubs hoping to make a dirty dollar off it…
Maybe she meant the Big Daddy Kane.
Glue bender or Blue Gender?
See here, Comrade Retardo.
The fact is K-Gro’ is a product of the wingnut welfare system. If the wingnuts truly embraced free entreprise, more literate wingnuts would be writing these paens to Democracyâ„¢ and Freedomâ„¢. And the terrorliberalfasclamocists®© would already be defeated.
Maybe Kaye was referring to raising cane TOADS. Which Sandy Berger promptly stuffed in his socks. Or slacks. Or something.
Couldn’t she just take an ambien, collapse headfirst on her keyboard and hit “publish” when she comes round? It would make understanding her thought process a bit more straight-forward.
I just assumed “raising cane” was a nod to Emmy-winning actress and cosmetics magnate Susan Lucci, who plays Erica Kane on “All My Children.” Ms. Lucci has been known to wear a leopard print blouse on occasion, as well.
And that’s my opinion!
you’ve all been ignoring that first sentence.
just look at that, in all its glory. this may be the most self-evident sentence in human history. it’s…it’s…full of stars? it’s fucking perfect.
just for the record, i would like to suggest that yes, should someone have a gun aimed at my head, i would very very very VERY much like that person to have terrible aim. indeed that would be my most fervent desire at that moment. i’m confident that this is not a partisan stance–i believe strongly it cuts across any political divide and is the very fact that could bring us all, islamaladingdongfascist and christiantheocratlunatic alike, together, creating a beautiful world where kaye’s shirt could double as a chador.
Kaye Grogan’s defunct