No way Devastatin’ Dave drinks Miller – he’s a Genesee slave.

I’m gettin me some popcorn. This could be fun to watch.

I’m looking forward to the start of football tonight in much the same way I once looked forward to losing my virginity. I’ve actually been referring to it as Christmas.

If you’re similarly excited, check out the kids over at Kissing Suzy Kolber. They’ve thrown out about 20 pregame posts today, all of them hi-larious.

I look forward to reading about how the Pentagon’s uniformed lawyers are weak-kneed terror appeasniks.

Did they personally, with their bare hands, strangle to death a terrorist today? No? Then they are appeasniks, unless they proudly blogged something postive about Iraq with cheetos encrusted fingers. But the rest?!!? APPEASNIKS!!!!!1!1!!11!!

Brad – Er, Not Brad, that’s just a typo. That statement was quoting the Pentagon’s Uninformed lawyers. And they’re just so, well, UN informed…

mikey

Well, I ain’t feelin’ happy
‘Bout the state of things in my life
But I’m workin’ to make it better
With a case of Miller High Life!
Just a-drinkin’ and a-drivin’
Makin’ sure my dues get paid
Because! Alienation’s for the rich
And I’m feeling poorer every day!
A hey-hey-hey!

great, now that song will be stuck in my head all night. The way he says ‘poorer’ is trés catchy.

My drinking doesn’t start for another hour, so this non-drunk rambling will have to do. I cut off about a foot of my hair today. Now I have a bob.
My hair is so now.*

*Legally Blonde.

Go Dolphins. Eat it Steelers! 😀

Hey, Kathleen. I’ve been thinking about cutting a couple feet off of mine too. But while I consider and dwell, summer’s ending and I don’t want short(er) hair in the winter, so I suspect I’ll consider and dwell for another 7 or 8 months…

mikey

Shave your head mikey.

It’s what a terrist islamopunk appeasenik would do. Long hair is for liberal hippy wimps.

Plus the fascist pigs can grab you by it.

Ok well as far as this season all I have to say. J-E-T-S Jets! Jets! Jets!…..Superbowl trophey is comming to rutherford :), ha who am i kidding, be luckey if we are 8-8

Lions all the way*!

* to another top 5 draft pick.

Drunken ramblings? Man, just my luck. I gave up booze last summer. I could post stoned ramblings, I suppose. Hmm…

Darn it, I got nothing. Give me a minute.

*cough*

Okay, so the header is a reference to the man known as Bocephus, one Rockin’ Randall Hank Williams Jr. His boy is coming to town next month. Nice kid* and I do like his more hardcore stuff, but I gotta give his country stuff a big “eh”. Yeah, he sounds like The Man, but we must remember, so did Hank Jr.*** back before he fell off that goddamn mountain and had to re-learn, RE-LEARN I said, how to sing.

I love Bocephus, beyond he just being the soundtrack to my childhood just as my peers get all dewey-eyed over Culture Club or Tiffany. He’s a monster musician, a helluva singer and wrote some goddamn fine country songs in his time. I mean, those kinda songs you hear and think, “Man…he really pissed someone off.” It’s his version of “Sorry I hosed your sister, here’s a dozen roses and some bright shiny shit.” That, my friends, is what a damn good country song is supposed to envoke.

But I don’t get that from Hank III. He’s said he’s doing the country stuff mainly to pay some bills and play some big shows, and it really shows, frankly. Good and solid, but formulaic. He’s not desperately trying to get back into someone’s very reluctant good graces. Then again, he’s relatively young, and I maintain my brother’s theory that men can’t really, really sing country music properly until 35 or so. No matter your luck, after 35 years of stomping the terra, you’ve had your metaphysical nuts caved in once or twice and you can finally pull off the world-weariness you’ve been faking since you were 13 or so.

And then, eventually, you’ll lose it. Everyone did, from Faulkner to Oscar Levant to Willie Nelson. You may still be producing quality stuff – and most do, mind – and you may get the occasional second-wind, be it artistically or financially – but there’ll always be…I don’t know, just something missing. Maybe it’s nothing more than the effects of the passing of time.

Bringing it all back home, by the time Bocephus cut this bit for ABC, he was heading downhill and picking up speed. It was embarassing to see. I got a video of a concert from this time and, man, it is just sad. And then came Garth and Billy Ray and Shania. Down Bocephus went, up they went. And there, childhood ended and manhood sadly trudged towards the sitting sun, always knowing he really didn’t know what he had.

* I mean, really, interviewed/hung out with/shared a cab with him a time or two, and he’s just a sweetheart.**

** Or was, anyway. It’s been a couple years.

*** Say, didja know neither Junior nor The Third are actually thus? Sure’nuff, they are Randall Hank and Shelton Hank, respectively. There’s a daughter of Hank from a tete-a-tete with some secretary from the “Louisiana Hayride” performing under the name “Jett Williams”, but that ain’t her name. I forget it as I forget the daughter of Hank Jr. who’s out somewhere tonight singing Jewel-y type smiley chick folk-rock.

Go Beavers!

(because someone here has to care about college football)

Long hair is for liberal hippy wimps.

I’ve ALWAYS been a hippie. I was a hippie first. There was an expression in the ‘nam. If you were going to do something against the rules, get high or leave the post or steal some good shit, you’d say “what are they gonna do, cut off my hair and send me to vietnam?”. See, they already had done…. You get it.

So after they cut it off that first time, I’ve always liked to keep it long. Now, during the dot com boom, I cut it off ’cause I wanted my piece of that. And basically, if you looked and talked a good story, people threw money at you. So yeah, I caught some. Then the layoffs and 9/11 and shit, so I started growing it again. There. More info than you ever needed to have about my locks….

mikey

Go Beavers!

Marita! Imagine my disappointment to discover this comment was about football at all…

mikey

You’re not actually going to drink miller high life, are you? Malkin ain’t worth that.
Also, nice httt era radiohead t in that pic.

I forgot to get beer!!!

I remember from history class that the field slaves always hated the turntable slaves.

Um, Mikey…how can you be a hippie if you have a cop mustache? Don’t get me wrong, I love the Johnny look ‘n all, but I’d say you should grow one of those pie eating goatse’s er I mean goatees…

Hell, I still don’t drink BEER anymo…damn, after 6 months I stiopped counting…

Lions all the way*!

* to another top 5 draft pick.

I hear this is the year they use that draft pick on something totally genius. A receiver!

Oh no Marita, you did not just do that – Do I have to sing the unofficial OSU fight song ala the Oregon Ducks?

“OSU our pants are off to you,
Beavers bastards sons-a-bitches too…”

(Folks, if you’re not familiar with it, the Ducks/Beavers rivalry is one of the best in college football. So there!)

Jebus. I’m sorry, Gary. Both for mocking the efforts to keep you employed and for being unable/unwilling to join in. I’m sorry Gary, but I just can’t do it. We’re talking about mass manufactured american beers. And the good lord Jebus decided if one is on the edge of civilization and only such beers are available, at least sierra nevada is out there to provide actual beery goodness.
My own belief is most popular american beer brands are produced by having alcoholics piss in a vat and adding everclear.

I’ll buy Miller to support the cause, but I will pour it directly in the toilet and efficiently shorten the process.