Happy Talk Isn’t Just A Song In South Pacific Anymore

kraphammer_portrait

Shorter Charlie Kraphammer, The Washington (“Invade Iraq”) Post
The Way Forward

  • The lesson of the election is not that the GOP should moderate its positions to attract new voters; instead the lesson is that it should talk pretty. For example, to attract Hispanic voters, we should say we are in favor of “amnesty” when all borders are finally closed my disability is miraculously cured.* To attract women voters, don’t call it a “mandatory transvaginal ultrasound;” rather, call it a “free pony ride.”

*This is a reference to Charles’s sadly disfigured face and not anything else.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 447

 
 
 

They need to paint smiley faces on the transvaginal ultrasound probes. Chix love that shit.

 
 

The Five Stages of GOP Grief:

1) Denial
2) Denial
3) Denial
4) Denial
5) Aneurysm
~

 
 

They need to paint smiley faces on the transvaginal ultrasound probes. Chix love that shit.

Bullshit. It’s glitter we’re after.

 
 

Shorter GOP: We need a big, prettier bow for this box of diarhea we’re giving you.

 
 

They need to paint smiley faces on the transvaginal ultrasound probes. Chix love that shit.

I’m afraid that won’t be enough. They’ll have to make them bright pink, and tell us that 10 cents from the cost of every probe will go to “Breast Cancer Awareness.”

 
 

“The country doesn’t need two liberal parties.”

1) I’d settle for one.
2) It does need two sane parties.
3) For God’s sake NOBODY EXPECTS YOU TO TURN LIBERAL; making a logical case for tighter fiscal reins would be a great thing, WHY DON’T YOU EVER DO IT?

 
 

The problem here for Republicans is not policy but delicacy — speaking about culturally sensitive and philosophically complex issues with reflection and prudence.

Shorter: We need to be better at lying.

 
 

If Mr. Whitey A. Saxonprotestant likes the idea of forced transvaginal ultrasounds, surely women can too. Find out which arguments he finds most appealing. You’ll want to repeat these to women.

Ask him why he hates affirmative action. Say those things to black Americans.

 
 

Amazing that these wrong-about-everything-all-the-time pundits still have a job. Krauthammer was, as of 2012, 0-100,000,000. And yet the Post still pays him for his piffle.

This is what passes for “balance” in the modern media. One side can’t find its asshole with a flashlight, or it lies so badly, and disingenuously, that even a deaf and blind monkey can tell. The other side is then forced to point this all out. And yet the lying, unctuous boobs have the larger and more loyal audience.

Fucking hell.

 
 

Rick Perlstein’s The Long Con in the latest issue of The Baffler is real good.

 
 

Krauthammer forgot to say “always be selling”. And there’s no “I” in team, and when something about a lemon and something about ade.

Gottsa’ love these goofs who have a cliché ready for every occasion. Shows he’s a team player who’ll give 110%.

 
 

Jamal, don’t be bitter. He’s just shifting paradigms and thinking outside the box.

 
Bozo the Cocksucker
 

You’ve got to have a dream. If you don’t have a dream, how are you going to have a dream come traaauuguguhgaspghemswgsdrfgloewglmgskrgk

 
 

I’ve always been of the “enforcement first” school, with the subsequent promise of legalization. I still think it’s the better policy. But many Hispanics fear that there will be nothing beyond enforcement. So, promise amnesty right up front. Secure the border with guaranteed legalization to follow on the day the four border-state governors affirm that illegal immigration has slowed to a trickle.

I encourage Republicans to use exactly these words.

 
 

do i really want to wade into krap right now? or ever, really?

 
 

Tweet of the day about Petraeus

Jon Schwarz?@tinyrevolution

I guess when you spend all day at work blowing up weddings, it’s hard to know when to stop

 
 

They should mark down the price of the transvaginal ultrasounds* by 40%. Chicks are suckers for bargains.

* Wasn’t “Transvaginal Ultrasound” the name of Starship’s final album?

 
 

It must be extremely galling to have to talk nice to the brown folks to try to get their sad little votes. Why are they allowed to vote anyways?

 
 

Speaking of Transvaginal Ultrasound, whatever happened to T&U?

 
 

As long as your kinder gentler ultrasonic vagoo-pokers & their attendant smileyfaces &/or glitter don’t have a ‘Made in China’ label, it’s all good, amirite?

PROTIP: If your idea of a political “deep bench” includes Bobby Jindal, Paul Ryan, Nikki Haley & Scott Walker, perhaps your boss, your wife & all your friends are right, & you really should cut down on shotgunning Sterno after all.

Only time you’ll ever see Krauthammer – or almost ANY of these crypto-feudalist schmeebs – saying “there’s no need for radical change” is when it’s referencing their ideological Ship Of Phail in relation to its latest dire fuckup.

Ten’ll get you twenty Chuckles said those exact same words back when the sacred glorious Iraq Surge was looking like a big blazing bag of P00P on America’s doorstep — right before Muqtada al-Sadr gave Dubya the mulligan of a lifetime via opting to save civilian lives by unilaterally bowing out.

 
 

“whatever happened to T&U?”

I guess she turned out to be unreliable. Whocouldanode

 
 

Charlies article is a heartbeat away from bursting into tears. it’s pretty obvious that he doesn’t actually have a Plan For The Future since this article has been written about 7 times a year for the last 10 years by Conserawanks like him.
“Israel has fence why can’t we have one? Man, it’d be so cool”
How are those Minute Men patrols doing? Fuckers

 
 

“whatever happened to T&U?”

Don’t worry, I reminded her to vote.

 
 

What could we do right now to understand the role of impulsiveness in our lives?

If you were reincarnated as an animal, would you rather be a squirrelfish or a screech owl?

Is it more appealing for you that your best friend be cosmic or clairvoyant?

Which is a better name for a pet kissing gourami, Wabod Dove or Jannie Stag Beetle?

Would you rather have a deformed bosom or a deformed head?

Discuss how a skeleton in your closet has affected each of you in your lives.

How could you use fish to improve your career?

Would you prefer as a nickname “The Pity-Pity” or “The Clear President Clinton”?

Discuss why in Saint Lucia they say: “Never call a zoologist when you require a cheetah”.

If you had to be a backup singer in a New band, would you rather it be called ‘Breathed Chinese food’ or ‘Gary Ruppert’s Chicago Ti’?

How would you make art out of pink salmons and muffins?

Which movie would you rather watch: a comedy about two soldiers destroying the same loser or a fake documentary about a pagan homemaker and an insecure ceramicist dislodging an elementary school in the 1990s?

Make a pun using the word ‘grey’.

Would you prefer to be more or less nauseating?

If you had to spend four hundred dollars on candor, how would you do that?

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

From teh last thred, I think that the whole “we’re so shocked that our candidate lost omg” angle is one of my favorite parts of this whole thing. But then there are so many places to shaden ones fraude that its kind of hard to pick.

For me it’s how fucking pissed and resentful the Rmoneys are at not getting what they want for the first time ever. That Mitt almost certainly thought he was going to win IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY* just makes it extra shadenfreudeylicious.

*The “white horse” prophecy that no one talked about, probably because then most of the crazy Christians would think the crazy Christian Mormons are crazy Christians.

 
 

How would you make art out of pink salmons and muffins?

This sounds like a challenge to me.

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

They need to paint smiley faces on the transvaginal ultrasound probes. Chix love that shit.

Put a bird on it.

 
 

Israel has fence why can’t we have one?

Israel has universal health care.

How come we can’t?
~

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

How would you make art out of pink salmons and muffins?

Depends on just what type of muffins are involved.

 
 

If you had to spend four hundred dollars on candor, how would you do that?

Sorry, I don’t do candor, especially cheap candor.

 
 

Jamal, don’t be bitter.

Yeah, that’s my job.

 
 

I love his blithe references to “the Latino problem.” Yeah, find some right-wing Cuban-American and have him promise not to round up “illegals” in boxcars. That’ll work.

 
 

Ahhh… The sweet, sweet sound of thousands of wingnuts shifting paradigms without a clutch…

 
 

In poor Charles’ defense. His face is not disfigured. He is just butt-ugly.

 
 

T+U is alive and well and working in a zoo. No, she has not joined the RNC it is supposed to be a zoo.

 
 

Oh Nooners never change:

President Obama did not lose, he won. It was not all that close. There was enthusiasm on his side. Mitt Romney’s assumed base did not fully emerge, or rather emerged as smaller than it used to be. He appears to have received fewer votes than John McCain. The last rallies of his campaign neither signaled nor reflected a Republican resurgence. Mr Romney’s air of peaceful dynamism was the product of a false optimism that, in the closing days, buoyed some conservatives and swept some Republicans. While GOP voters were proud to assert their support with lawn signs, Democratic professionals were quietly organizing, data mining and turning out the vote. Their effort was a bit of a masterpiece; it will likely change national politics forever. Mr. Obama was perhaps not joyless but dogged, determined, and tired.

Apart from those points, everything in my blog post of Nov. 5 stands.

So what does it all mean?

My bolding.

 
 

This is the appropriate video.
This one came to mind for me.

I love his blithe references to “the Latino problem.”
You just know he wants to talk about a ‘solution’, preferably a final one.

 
 

How could you use fish to improve your career?
Career of Evil. Shark tank. D’OH.

 
 

My career has improved since I started keeping rotting fish in my pockets. My competitors are so jealous of my new-found, fish-inspired confidence that they run away at the sight of me.

 
 

*This is a reference to Charles’s sadly disfigured face and not anything else.

Really? I thought it was a reference to his lack of empathy and/or moral center.

 
 

When reading the Nooner’s quote, when you got to There was enthusiasm on his side. Mitt Romney’s assumed base did not fully emerge, did anyone else mentally add “from under their rocks?”

 
 

*The “white horse” prophecy that no one talked about, probably because then most of the crazy Christians would think the crazy Christian Mormons are crazy Christians.

i thought that was rafalca…

 
 

The only part of this that is even partially true regards Hispanics. They should be a natural Republican constituency: striving immigrant community, religious, Catholic, family-oriented and socially conservative (on abortion, for example).

did he write that with a serious face? also, too…he used the word ‘rump’…

 
 

Oops, not the CEO of the whole company – just the New York franchise. I was too eager to make a salad bar joke.

 
 

it’s okay, spear…i happens to everybody at one time or another…also, too…when is there going to be backlash against these a-holes who flat out say, ‘i would rather throw people out of work than make a little less profit?’ yes, america, you are a great country, indeed…

 
 

The lesson of the election is not that the GOP should moderate its positions to attract new voters; instead the lesson is that it should talk pretty. For example, to attract Hispanic voters, we should say we are in favor of “amnesty” when all borders are finally closed my disability is miraculously cured.* To attract women voters, don’t call it a “mandatory transvaginal ultrasound;” rather, call it a “free pony ride.”

Yessir, the GOP *actually* thinks women and non-whites are dumb and shallow enough that if you just sprinkle a little pepper on the shit sandwiches, it’ll suddenly become their favorite food.

Brainiacs, you can’t even get your own base to fall for that shit when you try to rebrand Social Security or Medicare privatization/abolition – and these guys want to believe you. If you think it’s going to work on people who already think you’re out to fuck them, you’re on drugs.

Not that we mind, of course. More voters for us.

 
 

1) Denial
2) Denial
3) Denial
4) Denial
5) Aneurysm

For real?

When do they get to stage 5?

 
 

Another Friedman unit, perhaps.
~

 
 

Oh, the Nooners article.

A majority of the American people believe that the one good point about Republicans is they won’t raise taxes.

Even though a majority of those polled in the last four years have continually offered “taxing the rich” as their preferred way to make up the deficit.

It is and has been a proud Republican assumption—a given, a faith—that we are a center-right country and, barring extraordinary circumstances, will tend to return to our natural equilibrium.

What does it say about your party that when such circumstances arise, you’re the one the people don’t want in the driver’s seat?

(I’ll ignore the fact that you have a way of bringing about the “extraordinary circumstances” that get you voted out through your own stupidity…)

Republican candidates and professionals will have to put aside their pride, lose their assumptions, and in the future work harder, better, go broader and deeper.

Yeah, that part’ll happen.

 
 

*The “white horse” prophecy that no one talked about

Any Fullers pub called “The Ship” or “The White Horse”, I will drink five points of ESB and be taken home in a wheelbarrow.

 
 

Any Fullers pub called “The Ship” or “The White Horse”, I will drink five points of ESB and be taken home in a wheelbarrow.

I too pledge myself to this ordeal and may even up the ante to include a couple of points of IPA.

 
 

Another Kiwi: To be fair to Peggy, I think she was trying to be ironically self-deprecating.

At least she didn’t scold Mitt for not taking her prescription for turning his campaign around: Hold a big rally in Brooklyn.

 
 

It is and has been a proud Republican assumption—a given, a faith—that we are a center-right country and, barring extraordinary circumstances, will tend to return to our natural equilibrium.

Let’s see if I’ve go this right… Ms Noonan begins by explaining that her previous column was wrong in every respect because she and the Republican party ignored every scrap of evidence in order to preserve their assumption of entitlement. Then she finishes her current column by arguing that when evidence conflicts with a Republican assumption of entitlement, the evidence should be amended.

Of course when she describes an unfounded assumption as “a faith” she means it’s a good thing.

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

From Teh last thred

Major tried to take the chicken plane off a sweet jump. FAIL

I just need to go faster next time. Hold my beer and watch this….

You could go twice as fast.

 
 

Jesus Tapdancing Christ. Here’s a mango. This is what passes for analysis, from Krauthammer’s farticle:

” In fact, more women are pro-life than are pro-choice. ”

Do I need to even point out how many more women voted for Obama than Romney.

How does a sentence that wrong even last in someone’s head long enough to pass through the fingers into an article?

 
 

So we won’t get anymore of those wonderful salad bars? Too bad.

I won’t eat at Applebee’s unless there is no option.

 
 

How does a sentence that wrong even last in someone’s head long enough to pass through the fingers into an article?

Reminds me of the conceit they all have that there’s an army of black, Latino and Asian voters just waiting to come out of the closet as True Conservatives, because abortion and gay marriage.

(Never mind that virtually every “socially conservative minority” demographic they used to have has run screaming from them in the last few decades).

 
 

So we won’t get anymore of those wonderful salad bars? Too bad.
…and the owner of any independent restaurant in NY that serves decent fare just smirked a little bit.

 
 

How does a sentence that wrong even last in someone’s head long enough to pass through the fingers into an article?

Voice-recognition software.

 
 

I won’t eat at Applebee’s unless there is no option.

Starvation is always an option.

 
 

” In fact, more women are pro-life than are pro-choice. ”

According to Gallup the difference is 2%-points(46-44%), within the “4% maximum” margin of error. There’s also a huge age difference, where women 18-49 leaned pro-choice 50-39% while those over 50 leaned pro-life 55-37%.

 
 

Reminds me of the conceit they all have that there’s an army of black, Latino and Asian voters just waiting to come out of the closet as True Conservatives

And the reason they won’t vote for the Old White Male party is that they’re the true racists.

 
 

If you were reincarnated as an animal, would you rather be a squirrelfish or a screech owl?

How could you use fish to improve your career?

I was a Corrupt Bandfish there for a while. I have also been known to be a Pinball Swordfish at times.

 
 

hahaha, last night at the bar, a white male began whining about how he and all the other white males are no longer the majority…shock and awe! i tell you…he then dominated all conversation and made me get super pissed off with the whole ‘the n*clang* in the white house is giving all the blah people free cellphones!!!’ i got mean with him and it was awesome…

 
 

Being mean to white guys is my new favorite hobby.

I’d ask to get paid for it but I’m fairly kink-free.

 
 

I like my kinks free. Who wants to pay a dom?

 
 

Being mean to white guys is my new favorite hobby.

it’s pretty sweet, isn’t it? of course i wouldn’t be mean to any of the white guys here, cuz they are by and large not big fat whiny dickheads…except for a certain trollish sort who we won’t name…now that i think about it, i am surprised he has not weighed in on the election results…oh well, maybe he finally took everyone’s suggestion to eat shit and die to heart…

 
 

Why do t I ever get a chance to unload on anybody? Could it be because I’m a hermit? Or is just cuz you don’t run into that many wingnuts when you live in NOVA and RI?

 
 

Who wants to pay a dom?

A masochist with a “poor” fetish?

 
 

a white male began whining about how he and all the other white males are no longer the majority
We support identity politics. We have always supported identity politics.

 
 

Mitt Romney’s assumed base did not fully emerge, or rather emerged as smaller than it used to be. He appears to have received fewer votes than John McCain

This is good news for John McCain!

 
 

Somebody tell John McCain. He seems bitter these days.

 
 

Why do t I ever get a chance to unload on anybody?

Wrong door. Coprophilia is down the hall.

 
 

Who wants to pay a dom?

SOMEONE WHO WANTS RESULTS.

 
 

Wrong door. Coprophilia is down the hall.

Funny, I don’t feel like I’m at the Republican national headquarters.

 
 

last night at the bar, a white male began whining about how he and all the other white males are no longer the majority

Hmmmm. What was it I kept hearing from right wingers back in 2000?

No, that’s not it. Wait, it’ll come to me. Oh yeah, there it is…..

GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 

Oops, not the CEO of the whole company – just the New York franchise. I was too eager to make a salad bar joke.

That’s a real blow… there aren’t a lot of inexpensive dining choices in New York City.

 
 

So we won’t get anymore of those wonderful salad bars? Too bad.
…and the owner of any independent restaurant in NY that serves decent fare just smirked a little bit.

YOOOOOPPPPP!!!! Garrrrh, I really need to “refresh” more often. I blame Eric Fernhstrom.

 
 

Hmmmm. What was it I kept hearing from right wingers back in 2000?

right? i am trying to be grown up and not gloat in public and not telling these people they are a bunch of assholes…it’s hard, but i am all about civil discourse…

 
 

Somebody tell John McCain. He seems bitter these days.

somebody on ‘wait wait’ today said that during the campaign, mitt had been like bob dole, except without the sparkle…

 
 

Heh, heh.
That was P.J.O’Rourke.
I larfed.
HARD!
heh,heh.

 
 

Come on, Repubs. Sometimes you just have a mismatch on the field. You put up two moderates and got beat by a black dude. Next time to ALL IN (heh-that’s ironical!) with Palin or Santorum. Your moral chiding, rape rationalizing, calling everyone except upper crust whiteys leeches who “want stuff” is totally a winning strategy. Also, don’t forget to defend the poor, downtrodden millionaires. It shows political courage.

 
 

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner.

Holy fuck. I don’t even know where to start.

WHERE DID 16 MILLION WHITE VOTES GO????

The whole site is perfection itself. The answers to the polls. The links. Everything.

 
 

Wow Hogeye, i think they say it best, themselves COMPLETELY BEWILDERING AND UNPRECIDENTED !!!

 
 

WHERE DID 16 MILLION WHITE VOTES GO????

WHERE DID THE LOWER-CASE LETTERS ON MY KEYBOARD GO???

 
 

How does a sentence that wrong even last in someone’s head long enough to pass through the fingers into an article?

It needs to have enough empty room to bounce around unfettered.

 
 

Wow, Hogeye, that blog has what plants crave!

 
 

i think they say it best, themselves COMPLETELY BEWILDERING AND UNPRECIDENTED !!!

Fuckin magnets, how do they work?

 
 

B4, for some strange reason I don’t think you mean sunlight.

 
Eustace P. McGargle
 

Isn’t actually
“The Washington (Bomb, bomb, bomb … bomb, bomb Iran) Post”?

 
 

According to Gallup the difference is 2%-points(46-44%), within the “4% maximum” margin of error. There’s also a huge age difference, where women 18-49 leaned pro-choice 50-39% while those over 50 leaned pro-life 55-37%.

OK, I understand a bit more how Krauthammer’s statement re: women voters managed to live long enough to be typed. It was a) backed up by Gallup, the conservative pollsters who got the whole election wrong, and b) indicates that the group of women who are unlucky to have to deal directly with abortions are most against them.

Was what I just wrote that hard? Can I have a NY Times column now?

Maybe I need to pad the length? I can add another seven paragraphs about conversations with cab drivers at the salad bar in Applebee’s.

 
 

….of women who are unlucky to have to deal directly with abortions are most against them.

I meant unlikely. Fucking proofreading, how does that work?

 
 

B4, for some strange reason I don’t think you mean sunlight.

Electrolights. Artificial, so better.

 
 

Bomb, bomb, bomb … bomb, bomb Iran

Okay, I gotta confess………………………………I thought that was pretty funny.

And I’m sure Mike Love would approve of this message, also too.

 
 

“WHERE DID 16 MILLION WHITE VOTES GO????”

RON PAUL!!!!

 
 

The Five Stages of GOP Grief:

1) Denial Rage
2) Denial Rage
3) Denial Rage
4) Denial Rage
5) Aneurysm

Fixxoreed

 
 

“WHERE DID 16 MILLION WHITE VOTES GO????”

RON PAUL!!!!

You know the rules, people, everybody chug a tumbler of butterscotch schnapps!

 
 

One side can’t find its asshole with a flashlight, or it lies so badly, and disingenuously, that even a deaf and blind monkey can tell.

But the Republicans are much, much worse !!!

 
 

“The country doesn’t need two liberal parties.”

1) I’d settle for one.

This

 
 

CRA: Thanx for the ‘Long-Con’ link! I’m shooting it to a bunch of friends and relatives. (Some of the latter will be outraged.)

 
 

Fenwick, you still in Baltimore, or did you make the move to New Mexico? Also, how’s your health?

 
 

Wasn’t “Transvaginal Ultrasound” the name of Starship’s final album?

I thought it was a Lou Reed track. (See what I did there?)

 
 

Bill Kristol is saying that it ‘won’t kill the country’ to tax millionaires a little more. Douchebag from hell…

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

Some wag at another sight:

“Some perspective: Mitt Romney not only the indignity of a crushing defeat, it turns out he paid 2011 income tax for no reason. “

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

Hey, I hab a bad coad and cand thick clear. Gib be a brake.

 
 

cookery dilemma:

i am planning to make a pheasant alfredo dish…should i marinate pheasant and then slap on the grill quickly so as to not dry it out or should i dredge it in something and then saute it in bacon drippings?

 
 

Holee schnikies. I know nothing about pheasant.

 
 

It tastes like chicken.
Only different.

 
 

It tastes like chicken.
Only different.

indeed…and it’s a dry meat, so you can easily fuck it up quickly…

 
 

Pheasant likes to be poached; less likely to toughen. Just lightly, especially if it’s boned.

 
 

Just lightly, especially if it’s boned.

tis boned…poaching sounds icky…i have to admit, that while i eat quite a bit of pheasant, i rarely cook it myself…hubbk’s mom usually does that…the standard way to make it in these parts is to dredge in seasoned flour and brown it, then add some cream of mushroom soup and cream to the browning pan and scrape up all the good bits…then transfer the pheasant and creamy stuff to a roaster to the oven and let it bake for a few hours…

i do recall once putting pheasant and cream and possibly sherry in the crockpot for an all day session which we had over potatoes…hubbkf fondly remembers this dish, but sadly i have no idea where said recipe came from…

my favorite way to have it though is cubed breasts marinated in a fruity type of marinade, wrapped in bacon, skewered and grilled…

so, i guess what i’m saying is how does one poach pheasant and will it be good with alfredo?

 
 

Sire, sire! The pheasants are revolting!

 
 

Sire, sire! The pheasants are revolting!

ugh, they are when not in a cooked form…that’s why i try to never have to be the one to cook them…i almost barf if i catch a whiff of them when hubbkf is cleaning them…

 
 

Since I’ve been informed we’re going to visit my in-laws on Thanksgiving, I’m cooking our annual turkey today.

 
 

I’m cooking our annual turkey today.

ooooh….will there be stuffing?

 
 

bbkf from Jamie Oliver’s cooking forum

hey, thanks…i like making others do my googling for me…

 
 

ooooh….will there be stuffing?

Yes, I make a stuffing (technically dressing because I cook it on the side) with cornbread, chorizo and butternut squash.

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

You can roast it decently if you first wrap it in bacon.

 
 

Boning the pheasant.

that’s a good one right there…last night at work, my co-bartender came up to me and informed me she was going to go to the bathroom and then wipe her booth off…i told her that i didn’t need to know such things and that we had always known her to have good personal hygiene…’wiping my booth’ was the euphemism of the evening…

 
 

You can roast it decently if you first wrap it in bacon.

all bacon has been cooked and consumed at brunch…i did save the grease tho…

 
 

how does one poach pheasant

You drug them with sleeping pills hidden inside raisins, then scoop them up in a bag.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danny,_the_Champion_of_the_World

 
 

Pheasant likes to be poached

I’m pretty sure the pheasant would disagree with you on that.

 
 

Fenwick, you still in Baltimore, or did you make the move to New Mexico? Also, how’s your health?
Fenwick if you are still in b’more drop me a line. I managed to nuke my email and I don’t have yours anymore.

 
 

The gamekeeper frowns on poaching pheasant.

I am reminded of the tale Clarissa Dickson Wright tells of shooting a peacock in her garden. It was the neighbors’, it turns out. She cooked and served it to them telling them it was pheasant.

 
 

Some party hack decreed that the people
had lost the GOP’s confidence
and could only regain it with redoubled effort.

If that is the case, would it not be be simpler,
If the GOP simply dissolved the people
And elected another?

 
 

I don’t know nothin’ ’bout bonin’ no pheasant!

 
 

I don’t know nothin’ ’bout bonin’ no pheasant!

but have you wiped your booth?

 
 

so, i got off my dead arse (actually i m taking a break from the annual putting away summer like clothing and filling drawers and closets with sweatery things–yuck) and kagoozled pheasant alfredo…so, as such i am going to prepare this for this evening’s meal…

 
 

I don’t know nothin’ ’bout bonin’ no pheasant!

I have an alibi! I know nothing! It was probably Another Kiwi!

 
 

That’s silly. I happen to know AK was boning the quail.

 
 

Oh, man, somebody linked to a NESARA blog. That’s my favorite flavor of crazy. What’s not to love about a free money swindle with side order of psychic alien space brothers.

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

Spending the day in bed, hoping to recuperate enough to go see Leonard Cohen tonight. That’s right beotches, excellent seats and invites to the meet’n’greet. There are some perks as a spousal equivalent to the guy who books the PBS sponsored concerts.

 
 

Arghhhh insane jealousy, Pup. Tell him thanks for the music from me.
The peasant Alfredo sounds yumdelicious. I did not think that he would be so nice.
Also not boning wildfowl, me, I’m too chicken.

 
 

Pheasant likes to be poached

A food-porn cookbook I occasionally look at at work recommends brown-and-braise, preferably in stock made from the pheasant’s wing tips and feet

 
 

Take their shoes off first Bitter Scribe

 
 

That’s silly. I happen to know AK was boning the quail.

Spatchcocking the quail.

 
 

Pup – no, not really. He has until 2014 to amend hid 2011. I guarantee that was on the “do the second I conceed” list just like cancelling the staffer’s credit cards.

 
 

OT, but I will never get tired of this clip. Ever:

http://youtu.be/6USrjmAlYHs

 
 

Look at that, link to a Youtube of Cheney and the thread dies. He’s a Deathstar in miniature.

 
 

I think I’m addicted to buttershots lady.

She fits perfectly into 120 beats per minute.

 
 

AK,

Didn’t mean to Cheney the thread. My bad.

 
 

No worries SA I was not aware of the strength of his deathrays either.
Buttershots lady is teh funnay about Sarah Palin but it is hard to pick highlights

 
 

Chuckles diligently hammered the krap last week:

National syndicated columnist Charles Krauthammer believes it will be close, but that Romney will come out with the victory over President Obama on Tuesday.

He joined Sean Hannity to discuss the state of the race, calling Obama the “luckiest politician” he’s ever seen after the president received a boost this week from Hurricane Sandy.

He explained that when Sandy hit, it froze the race and Romney’s momentum, allowing Obama to be in the spotlight.

Rmoney never led in the polls, not once, not for so much as a day. Nate Silver explained this to them in the simplest possible terms he could. And they still could not get it, because global warming is a myth, Algore and Michael Moore are fat; bookmark this, libs: teabaggers are the real American majority.

Well, at least their prognostications are more accurate than those of their great hero, Bill Kristol. So they deserve to keep their jobs. Just ask them.

 
 

I think I’m addicted to buttershots lady.

Needs moar autotune.

 
Esprit de l'escalier
 

True, there is no “I” in team.

However, there is an “M” and an “E”…

 
 

That’s silly. I happen to know AK was boning the quail.

Boning yet another kiwi.

 
 

I think I’m addicted to buttershots lady.

The first step is admitting you have a problem.

 
 

Shorter Charles Krauthammer, The Way Forward:

Step One: Cut a hole in the box.

 
 

If the pheasant in question isn’t pen-raised, then you’d be best to use the leg meat to make stock with.

 
 

A food-porn cookbook I occasionally look at at work recommends brown-and-braise, preferably in stock made from the pheasant’s wing tips and feet

I would not have a problem with that except that they’re probably talking about farm raised birds killed young. Wild shot pheasant are not usually young, tender, fatty birds with just developed muscles but tough old things. They can be hung till high and roasted (sure, clothe them in bacon if you must or incise them and poke in lardons as you wish) for a classic taste though it’s high risk; you don’t know how old or tough the bird is until you’re done. This is why I recommended poaching, one gets pheasant flavour and a better chance of toothsome morsels in one’s alfredo instead of fibrous shreds. I know fibrous shreds are traditional in many cuisines and concede that they have their place.

Some pheasant hunting grounds, like the quail hunting in southwest GA are essentially put and take operations where the birds are stocked regularly so that rich city folk can come in and blast away at them. Then the birds are much more uniform in age and can be cooked as if they were farm birds.

Amid such pedantry I will note that I left “boning the pheasant” out there as a big hanging curve and declined the temptation of “spatchcocking”.

 
 

And after all that I’ll get ahemed by anonymous.

 
 

OT, this fucking asshole really should die in a mine cave-in. And I don’t say that lightly.

 
 

He has little people to do that for him, BS.

 
 

They knew what they were getting in to when they owed their souls to the company store.

 
 

I…declined the temptation of “spatchcocking”
El Manquécito deprives them of his essence.

 
 

El Manquécito deprives them of his essence.

Someone’s obsessed with the LGM Petraeus thread.

 
 

Tonight I made Indian-spiced meatballs in a tomato-ginger sauce, alongside one of the best batches of Raita I’ve ever made. Holy shit, did it fuck my taste buds in the ass.

 
 

but have you wiped your booth?

From front to back, even.
.

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

(sure, clothe them in bacon if you must or incise them and poke in lardons as you wish

I AM AGHAST! If one doesn’t have a proper larding needle one should just make some other meal that does not require such.

 
Fenwick, returning from Long Journeys to Strange and Distant Places
 

Fenwick, you still in Baltimore, or did you make the move to New Mexico? Also, how’s your health?

Hiya, BBBB (and y’all)

Thanx for asking, you Big Bald Nice Person. It has indeed been a l-o-n-g time since Fenwick has visited Sadlyville.

((Fenwickian digression / lament ensues))
————————————————–
When was it? April, May, thereabouts? My memory is no longer as precise and supple as it once was, i fear.

Indeed, I’m NOT adapting to geezerhood well, no, not well at all, toot sweet. My eyesight is in definite decline; an April eye exam required full-diopter ratchets. Moreover, I fear that I am having a mild, early onset of hearing loss; haven’t been tested in ages. (Memo to self: Arrange for testing at VA.) And a laboratory is fabricating two dental plates; the fitting will require multiple visits for adjustment and fine-tuning. Shorter: Growing old mostly sorta sux, at least based on my experience of it so far.
——————————————————

Yup, I’m still in Baltimore. My planned re-locate to Albuquerque last summer was blown to smithereens by significant worsening of my mood disorder: i was in no condition to pack and sell my house. So I postponed the move until spring / summer 2013. The new target for relocating will, however, be complicated by surgery in the spring … and 4-6 weeks for full recovery.

Filling-in six or seven months in the Life of Fenwick is a longish story. I’ve successuflly met some mental health challenges; I still face a number of physical health challenges. None are serious, but one has been absolutely mystifying…sort of like hubbffk’s only without physical pain.

There is probably way Too Much Information, and detail, and digression in the account of my health and other doings. But I’ll whip up a summary–replete with Fenwickian digression, of course–and formatted with headers and sub-headers, so you can scan or skip over stuff of less importance, or less interest to you. Most of the story is unavoidably self-referential. (“How is your health?”)

Special Bonus!!! I’ll use a big chunk of blockquote when I gin up the fuller story. Once posted, that biggish blockquote storywill make it easy to re-locate yourself when scrolling up and down the thread.

— Fenwick, who honest-to-gosh is NOT a hypochondriac!

((Now I’ll ketchup the thread before bashing out the story.))

Hopkins outpatient clinic

I spent 5+ months in an intensive* outpatient psychriatric clinic at Johns Hopkins Bayview….in a succesful effort to avoid re-hospitalization. A second anti-depressant was added to my regime; it provided immediate benefits. Consequently, I’m doing much, much better in terms of my mood; I was discharged about 6-8 weeks ago, and have returned to the

(*) <Clinic and treatment details: W-a-y too many details about my the clinic details about the clinicDetails about the clinic 4 hours every weekday morning; self-reporting forms at the start of every day, to monitor possible side effects from medications. (Some patients–especially those with bipolar disorders–were on medications having more side-effectschanges that needed special attention of the clinic's psychiatrists (or the patient's counselor in the clinic). Additionally, there was a scheduled weekly meeting with a psychiatrist, and another weekly meeting with

As a consequence of this long set-back, I delayed my planned move to Albuquerque. I was in no condition to do so. I hope to make the move in spring/summer 2013. (There is a complication, however: I'll need some surgery next spring, as described later in the saga.)

Rockin’ and a-Reelin’ … and Shakin’ All Over

Before I went into the clinic, I began experiencing minor problems with my balance from time-to-time … as if the floor suddenly tilted a bit, like the deck of boat might; when I ‘compensated’ for the tilt while walking, I might brush my shoulder against a door-frame instead of walking cleaning through. The frequency of the

Where have I been? Well, my VA doc sent me to the ER a few weeks ago; I spent the weekend in Good Samaritan, and got to experience a complete MRI scan. (Twice, actually; the wanted a seperate ‘high-contrast’ scan.)

I was very impressed by size of the MRI apparatus; it filled up most of the room, and pretty much looked like a warp drive. It sure as hell sounded like a warp drive.

The scans–and a visit by a consulting neuorologist–were to see if there might be a physical cause for some balance (and hand-tremors) problems that have worsened in recent months I was relieved to find that the tests ruled out any physical or neurological reasons.

Last week, my Hopkins psychiatrist posited that the balance-and-tremors problem might be related to my mood-stabilizer medication. (It was originally developed as an anti-seizure medicine for eplilectics. Later, by pure happenstance, the mood-stabilizing benefits were discovered.) Based on his hypothesis, we are lowering the dosage. Just began the switchover Friday.

 
Forgetful Fenwick
 

Phooey! I was gonna hold the blockquoted stuff until my Next Windy Post. It’s unedited, and duplicates some of the set-up text.

 
 

Damn.

Is too much schadenfreude is dangerous to one’s health?
~

 
 

Didn’t mean to Cheney the thread. My bad.

At least you didn’t bogart the thread like a knife-wielding semi-psychopath might do.

 
 

Troofus is legion
Let the record show that “322 to 216 electoral votes” would have been “a commanding lead” if acquired by Romney.

 
 

“a commanding lead” if acquired by Romney.

I can’t hear you over the throbbing in their pants.

 
 

Is too much schadenfreude is dangerous to one’s health?

In the name of SCIENCE! I have generously volunteered myself as a subject. No ill effects thus far. Here’s a sample dose:

Hudak said the GOP’s handling of same-sex marriage provides a template. In the 2004 election, Republicans used opposition to same-sex marriage to drive voters to the polls. But as attitudes shifted, Republicans for the most part simply stopped talking about the issue.

“That’s the first step to neutralizing these social issues,” he said. “It’s not to change your mind. It’s just to not speak your mind. And that way people can think this isn’t that aggressive party anymore, and it opens the door for them to vote for you based on other issues.”

HUDAK WILL YOU GAY-MARRY ME?!?!?!11!?!

P.S. “Neutralizing the social issue”

P.P.S. SUCK ON IT, FAILED KULTURE WARRIORS!! WOLVERINES!1!

 
Just Alison, who can't be buggered thinking of something clever to write
 

Ooh, thanks, Hogeye, that blog was terrific (in both senses). Here’s my fave comment (posted completely without edit):

AnonymousNovember 9, 2012 6:46 PM
This is the most terrifying, sinister act of treason, treachery and cowardess I’v witnessed in my lifetime. And, to the journalists and bloggers – well no one wants to end up like Andrew Breitbart. What does one do, file some sort of BS ex parte pseudo-action with the world court? It pretty clear that this is some kind of civil/human rights violation. Do other world leaders know what is happening here? They might as well make the constitution on toilet paper b/c if no one stands to defend it, then what good isn it? Btw, for all the big gun talkers, who will fire not the first shot, but the 100,000th shot b/c that is would it would take to displace the ruling class. And before that happens…SARS outbreak, right. Or maybe stuxnet, or a reactor meltdown to keep people running and in fear. What do the elite pray to? Whatever it name it appears to more actively, physically, involved than the the god of Abraham, The Father of the Nazarene. Our air, water, food, technology are all killing us slowly, operating unseen. Praying, fasting cannot deal with the force of evil so strong and so pervasive. Christ Almighty, at least the rebels had the Jedi. What do we have, orgone, what? Fulford, Ventura, Wilcock while they rant, write and bluster I am relying on project camelot to keep up on a war between white hats and black hats? What? Is their no counter to these black magic, satanic rituals. What is the Christians defense a cross, bible. But it’s all gods plan, right. I guess I’ll just roll over and hand my house and my wife to the chinese when they get b/c our leaders have that in mind to pay off the 20+ plus debt. So go to your local city council meeting and ask them to address this voting fraud, ask them to investigate and you’ll be shown the door. We’d better hope some kind of friendly et’s come and help b/c we have nothing, nothing to match these evil doers. I’m an educated man, I’v studied economics in China, Chinese society, what I’ve witnessed 2 days ago has left me really considering moving to Melbourne with my brother. I’ve answered my own question, no more politics, religion, Fox, I’ll drink my booze, only watch sports and settle as yet one more of the ‘happy’ iliterati.

I love the guy handing over “my house and my wife” to the Chinese, in the sentence after he’s talking about satanic rituals. Dude, really, don’t use up all your irrational fears at once.

And as for moving to Melbourne (Australia, y’know), in case you haven’t seen it, here is a response to those frantic twitters about that plan. I larfed and larfed and larfed.

 
 

I’ve also been sacrificing for SCIENCE!, tensor.

I’ve listened to the whole thing, several times.
~

 
 

I think I’m addicted to buttershots lady.

even slightly more entertaining is a dude who goes by ‘atheist troll’ who mocks her rant…he’s kind of a funneh stoner…

 
 

“We must totally go into survival mode and generate all the cash that we can from whatever we still have left that can help us,” he wrote in a memo to his staff.

and by us, i mean me! sorry employees! dying in a mine cave-in is too nice a death for this man…surely we can come up with some better alternatives…

also, has buttershots lady considered that maybe the fucking namby-pamby pussies who ‘like’ her stuff are doing so in a purely sarcastic and/or snarky manner?

 
 

SCIENCE!

Among the biggest losers on Tuesday was conservative strategist Karl Rove, and not just because his side lost. The Fox News analyst, who questioned his network’s decision to call the election for President Obama on air after earlier incorrectly predicting a Romney victory, also has to reckon with the reality that his big-spending super PAC, American Crossroads, got almost no return on the more than $100 million it spent to influence the election.

This asumes that winning, not grifting, was the point of the exercise. Krugthulu:

Well, what if we’ve been misunderstanding Rove? We’ve been seeing him as a man dedicated to helping angry right-wing billionaires take over America. But maybe he’s best thought of instead as an entrepreneur in the business of selling his services to angry right-wing billionaires, who believe that he can help them take over America. It’s not the same thing.

A guy who has been soullessly jacking his fellow Americans for decades decided to jack his own true believers, who never saw it coming, because (ALL TOGETHER NOW) “Nobody could have predicted…”

Why, it’s almost like our GOP does not even know how to manage money…

 
 

nesara guy and buttershots lady would make a nice couple, i think…

the rolled up pheasant alfredo was pretty freaking awesome, btw…

 
 

Hard to believe she considered much, bbkf. The addition of the orchestra cracks me up!

P.S. On a more Sadly, So!, front: I was watching the teebee because football today, and the trailer for the remake of Red Dawn came on.

Just what we needed.
~

 
 

Hard to believe she considered much, bbkf. The addition of the orchestra cracks me up!

P.S. On a more Sadly, So!, front: I was watching the teebee because football today, and the trailer for the remake of Red Dawn came on.

Just what we needed.

i have to say i was impressed with her bootstrappyness of teaching herself how to use the fucking internet! yeah, i saw the red dawn trailer the other night and hung my head in sorrow that it was indeed going to see the light of day…

how are the liberals going to destroy america, again? oh, i suppose we drove all these nutbars to play militia joe, didn’t we…that and that damn obama giving away cells phones and health care…

 
 

Well next Obama invites the U.N. in to take all the guns…

And on that note, pleasant dreams!
~

 
 

Well next Obama invites the U.N. in to take all the guns…

Can I get a job at one of the re-education camps? Because I think that would be really cool.

 
 

Butter shots bitch in English: bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch

IF ONLY YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WOULD OF LMS ON FACRBOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THEN ROMNEY WOULD OF ONE

 
 

If you run across a wingnut Eliza Doolittle in your class, can I have her for a while?
I wanna give her a heavy Finn accent before she’s sent back home.

 
 

You know what I heard about why it’s coming out so late?

According to the story, the enemy originally was China, but some studio exec got his shorts in a knot over alienating a big secondary market, so they had to go back and edit, reshoot, whatever, to change the enemy to North Korea. Hilarious, if true.

 
 

Fenwick ! So good to see you after so long.
It’s horrifying how much you, a vet in Baltimore and I, a crone in SA, have in common. Old age is definitely not for sissies.
Depression – check. New teeths – check. Senses fading – check. I think I miss my taste buds most – I do love good food.
I assumed you were keeping a low profile during election season so as not to rile up the other Sadlies but now I realise the Old Black Dog was sitting by your side, holding you back.
Stay strong.

 
 

Fetish Porn
Small Tits
Threesome
Striptease
Lesbian
Striptease

 
 

Buttershots lady is a billion times better than my composition skillz.

it’s got a good beat and you can dance to it…i give it 10!

 
 

So why are the coal barons surprised by the so-called “war on coal”? Every single reason for the decline of coal is hard to argue. It pollutes more than the alternatives. It’s dangerous, how many coal miners have to die of black lung and cave-ins before that sinks in? It is destructive to the environment, I don’t think I am alone in liking the Appalachian mountain range or in not wanting to see it leveled one boxcar full of coal at a time. As alternatives like natural gas and renewable power become more attractive, why the hell would we buy coal?

Was there a similar whining bunch of buggy whip barons threatening to lay everyone off if Franklin Roosevelt was elected?

 
 

No one ends up with clean hands in a war on coal.

 
 

Tom Ashbrook hosts a Loserpalooza today On Point. Viguerie, Frum, Bozell, whoo hoo! Throw ’em in a sack and shake it up sez I.

Frum has been tirelessly flogging his post-election positioning, I think he sees a possibility of Clinton style triangulating from the right.

 
 

Tom Ashbrook hosts a Loserpalooza today On Point. Viguerie, Frum, Bozell, whoo hoo! Throw ‘em in a sack and shake it up sez I.

Just for reference, is that the traditional leather sack to which is added the dog, the cat, the monkey and the rooster which is secured tightly and beaten with red tipped staves before being thrown in the Tiber?

 
 

I think the sack is jute but otherwise, yeah. Where’s that Cato anyway, he’ll tell us.

 
 

Helmut –

Of course not. This is the modern age! It’s a Tyvek sack.

 
 

While we’re waiting for Cato to clear up the proper sack to use, I played a wedding this summer where one of the snacks served was some kind of artesian bologna, smoked on site and served in little wedges with roseate plastic cocktail swords. New band name: pink baloney swords.

 
 

I would have thought most artisans were too gamey to make good bologna.

 
 

Many of them are cage free and vegetarian fed.

 
 

When disposing of the parricide, it’s still important to give the personal touch. A calfskin leather bag shows that you respect the process, and the supple buttery feeling won’t take the sting out of the impact of the red tipped applewood staves. Use only the freshest free range snakes, roosters, dogs and monkeys. Free range animals weren’t confined their whole lives, so they are likely to be stronger and struggle harder when confined in a bag.

 
 

Sounds like fake Cato has some rich Corinthian leather he’d like to sell.

 
 

while ninety-nine percent of dujan’s analysis can be summed up as, ‘sadly, no!’ i thought these mangoes were worth dredging:

This is the only time in my life that I will ever say this, so mark it in the history books, but I encourage all of you to watch MSNBC fox news if you can on November 6th because decades from now you will want to describe to your progeny how unhinged the Left wingnuts became were able to speak through clenched jaws and the bitterest of disappointment and with zombie eyes on live tee-vee as their Obama Regime grand old patriarchal dream world came to an abrupt end.

ha…fixed that for ya!

DuJan is one of the best analysts there is, and a sterling journalist on the ground to boot.

again…sadly, no!

I bought my Sam Adams Winter Lager and peanuts over the weekend, so I am ready for Tuesday night. 😉

followed by a wednesday with a blinding hangover and hopefully a severe case of ibs…

 
 

Sounds like fake Cato has some rich Corinthian leather he’d like to sell.

it rubs the lotion on its skin…

 
 

it rubs the lotion on its skin…

What’s that from? I obviously didn’t see the movie and can’t be arsed to google.

 
 

N__B gets the hose again.

 
 

Was there a similar whining bunch of buggy whip barons threatening to lay everyone off if Franklin Roosevelt was elected?

Well, there was apparently a coup attempt in the works, if Smedley Butler is to be believed.

 
tsam will bogart your thread
 

It rubs the lotion on it’s Silence of the Lambs.

Or calves, in this case.

 
 

So, in this new Red Dawn, the Big Bad Meanie is going to be N. Korea, a country with a population around 2/3 that of California and a GDP somewhere south of the revenues of the Chrysler corporation?

I knew Republicans had perfected the art of wetting themselves on cue, but this beggars the imagination.

 
tsam will bogart your thread
 

but this beggars the imagination.

Unlike their contention that cutting taxes increases federal revenues.

 
 

Ah. I saw the movie but was wasted when I did. Something about a flask of rum in the movie theater…

 
tsam will bogart your thread
 

It was a decent movie. Anthony Hopkins was brilliant as usual, providing the charming antihero we love so much in this ass-backward culture of ours.

The scene where Clarice finds the serial killer and is walking through his house in absolute darkness while he follows her around with night vision goggles on was fucking awesome.

 
tsam will bogart your thread
 

Probably worth a sober revisit if you’re into that psycho thriller type stuff.

 
 

Well, there was apparently a coup attempt in the works, if Smedley Butler is to be believed.

even though we know that muchly of the whizzernets is bullshit, in this day and age, how is it that the goopers, teh wingnuts, the robber barons, etc. who ostensibly can function day to day and hold down *jobs* when they can’t even figure out that things they publicly say ARE DOCUMENTED FOREVER?!?

now that some of them are beginning to realize that their, ‘hey WE’RE the white guys, WE get ALL THE MARBLES so get your hands off ’em you bunch of dark skinned poors’ isn’t working any more and they are trying to now court the masses yet still hold on to their assholish belief system, do they think people are going to magically forget not only the last 200+ years, but the doubling down of their hypocrisy, which again, is well-documented?

 
 

The scene where Clarice finds the serial killer and is walking through his house in absolute darkness while he follows her around with night vision goggles on was fucking awesome.

i cannot watch that part without almost passing out from fear…well, i have a hard time with the entire movie because of it’s utter gruesomeness…it’s one of my son’s favorites, so it’s been replayed a few times at our house and one of the last viewings of it, i did actually get more out of it since i have obviously become de-sensitized…i should prolly call bozell about that…

 
 

Silence of the Lambs was the cause of my first panic attack–so, yay?

 
 

It was then that he was handed the fuzzy red puppet named Elmo and asked to come up with a voice for him. Clash transformed the character, which had been a marginal member of the Muppets troupe for a number of years, into a major star rivaling Big Bird as the face of “Sesame Street.”

oh, how the mighty have fallen:

 
 

while ninety-nine percent of dujan’s analysis can be summed up as, ‘sadly, no!’ i thought these mangoes were worth dredging:

If you went to the original Free Republic thread, there was a guy who thought if Elizabeth Warren lost she might “pull an Al Franken.” How terrible it was for Franken to win the election then get sued by losing loser Norm Coleman and be kept out of office for months until the state Supreme Court unanimously threw out every single element of Coleman’s case! Obviously he meant “pulling a Coleman,” but how Coleman is viewed as the hero but Warren would be the villain for doing the same thing is a bit of a mystery. No wait, it’s coming to me… IOKIYAR.

N__B gets the hose again.

HOT.

 
 

He’s dumbfounded? I assumed he found dumb a long time ago.

 
 

LolGingrich

An intellectually honest and courageous Republican Party has nothing to fear from the current situation.

The current Republican Party, on the other hand…

 
 

some kind of artesian bologna
Bologna forced up by pressure through a pipe in the ground? I want to live there.

 
 

is walking through his house in absolute darkness while he follows her around with night vision goggles

Sadly, the Frau Doktorin does not share my enjoyment of that particular reenactment.

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

An intellectually honest and courageous Republican Party

What do you think of western civilization Mr. Ghandi?
I think it would be a good idea!

 
 

pup…how was leonard cohen last night? you are lucky…i get to go to exciting places like detroit lakes…

 
 

I hate Silence of the Lambs because it started this whole serial-killer-as-demigod genre. Most serial killers are losers with no particular physical or mental gifts. The only thing that distinguishes them is their willingness to take the lives of complete strangers.

If you’ll excuse me, I have to go yell at a cloud now.

 
 

I just saw someone compare making fun of the Pope to elder abuse.

 
 

I just saw someone compare making fun of the Pope to elder abuse.

that’s pretty fucking ripe, innit?

 
 

…the president of Americans for Tax Reform suggested Obama’s reelection did not signify a national choice on tax policy and disputed the notion that Americans chose Obama over Romney because of his repeated argument that wealthy Americans should pay higher rates. Instead, he said, Obama won on his negative portrayal of the GOP candidate.

Hm, if only there were some way to quantify what the people think of raising taxes on the rich. Then we could have a rational discussion on what might be politically tenable. Not to mention we’d have some way to evaluate the assertions of unelected mouthpieces who might possibly have an unwarranted influence over government policy.

 
 

I just saw someone compare making fun of the Pope to elder abuse.

If there were ever an elder who deserved abuse, it would be that one.

 
 

Grover: “But [Obama] didn’t make the case that we should have higher taxes”

“didn’t make the case” meaning “didn’t convince me, the guy who thinks government revenue would be infinite if only they cut taxes to zero.” It’s assymholic or something.

 
 

Obama won on his negative portrayal of the GOP candidate

AS A RICH GUY WHO DIDN’T PAY HIS FAIR SHARE OF TAXES. Seriously, this desperate scrabbling would be kind of sad if he weren’t such a fucking bastard.

 
 

Teh Catholic Church in Australia has not been meeting its quota:

Deputy Police Commissioner Graham Ashton told the inquiry that the church had also hindered justice by failing to report a single case of child sex abuse in more than 50 years.

If you are in charge of an authoritarian religion that has gained control over vulnerable people’s lives by capturing a social function such as education, you shouldn’t suppress all the cases of abuse, but sacrifice just enough malefactors to keep things plausible.

 
 

jeannie d haz a sad…

She sure does.

For me, anyway, it’s depressing that left-wing academes, women in vagina suits, illegal aliens, liberal progressives, 85% of all Muslims living in America, and Hugo Chávez, Vladimir Putin, Fidel Castro, and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad are all equally ecstatic about the re-election of Barack Obama.

I want to know more about those vagina suits.

 
 

I am a simple son of the Antipodes WTF has Jeannie mean by women in vagina suits?
I have heard of Double Breasted suits and thought it was a style of tailoring, was this wrong????

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Just in case anyone is still hungry, here’s another helping of schadenfreud:

http://crooksandliars.com/susie-madrak/tea-partiers-blame-their-loss-everyon

First, let’s get rid of all the leaders… [snort]

 
 

Ann Outhouse: WaPo buried a story about a serial rapist to help Obama win the election.

 
 

I am sorry that Jeannie’s home was in the hurricane. It must be truly horrendous for them there. Freaking out on the internet is not the path to healing. The comments kind of prove it.
Commenter freeviper who wants Allen West in House of reps, even though he admits that West lost his re-election race, is symptomatic of the disorders in the clique. Get professional help freepers.

 
 

I want to know more about those vagina suits.

Thread already has Silence of the Lambs reference.

 
 

women in vagina suits?

Umm, I’ll just take that as a request for links to Hans Bellmer engravings, right?

 
 

omfg…unpossible!


•gussy258 Jeannie – have you sent this column to Mr. Boehner? If not, you should.

Jeannieology
I have no idea how to get it to him.
•in reply to gussy258

srsly? jeannie who knows EVERYFUCKINGTHING there is to know about broncobama right down to that one time he decided to have chocolate ice cream instead of strawberry, who KNOWS the answers to solve all of the world’s problems, who is SUPPOSED to be journalist of some sort, has no fucking idea how to contact boehner…

also, rather humorous how much they hate teh boner…now all HE does is sneak smokes and play golf with bronco…

 
 

I got to thinking while sitting on my ass, trying to tune out some hen party on the tv that features Sharon Osborne, staring at a breathtakingly beautiful Latina woman and waiting to have new tires put on my pickup chuck…anyone else thing that the GOP is headed for a convention like the Dem convention of 68? Sooner or later a new generation will take over and become tired of the outward racism and nativism and try to grab control of the party. Discuss.

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

I have no idea how to get it to him.

Once again, “gobsmacked” must appear on this blog.

 
 

anyone else thing that the GOP is headed for a convention like the Dem convention of 68?

They already had it. It was the GOP convention of 76, when Reagan was barely turned back by his own party’s incumbent president—and set up his successful 80 run.

 
 

tsam I don’t think that they have the required introspection. They will always come up against the “We are the chosen ones of the universe yet everyone hates us” The new people, is the exist, will have to set up a new party. There is too much money in the seniors.

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

Shorter Jeannie: Another great depression is totally worth it if we can blame it on Obama.

She crazy lady!

 
 

Sooner or later a new generation will take over and become tired of the outward racism and nativism and try to grab control of the party. Discuss.

There has to be a coup or abandonment. The Republican hierarchy seems to have drafted all the idiots they were trying to fool into their ruling positions.

There’s something about sowing and reaping in some book somewhere.

 
 

They already had it. It was the GOP convention of 76, when Reagan was barely turned back by his own party’s incumbent president—and set up his successful 80 run.

For Ford? That wasn’t exactly something that altered the party. I know there were split factions, but they seemed more like the difference between the rank and file Rs and the Ron Paul crowd that hates reality even more than the blue-blood Romney/bush types

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

tsam –
1. It’s religion with them now, they can’t change. The party will shrivel up from attrition.

2. AHEM (can’t be arsed to link but believe you me, you just got royally fucking AHEMmed!

 
 

play golf with bronco…

Obama plays golf all the time! He’s always going on vacation! He’s so incompetent and such a bad speaker! And all the debt he’s racked up!

Is the black the only thing they’ve got that isn’t projection?

 
 

tsam I don’t think that they have the required introspection. They will always come up against the “We are the chosen ones of the universe yet everyone hates us” The new people, is the exist, will have to set up a new party. There is too much money in the seniors.

As a party, yes. These are the descendants of the Dixiecrats. There has to be some number of republicans that stick with the party but but cringe every time one of them kneels and gives Rush and “apology”.

A Bobby Kennedy in the wake of Johnson sort of thing. Some similar values, but bobby vowed to empty Vietnam of Americans on day 1. Something Johnson lacked the courage and/or will to do despite his numerous opportunities.

 
 

OK, I’m in bed, sick as a dog, watching horror trailers. It’s dark in here. Suddenly I am really in the mood for a silly comedy.

 
 

2. AHEM (can’t be arsed to link but believe you me, you just got royally fucking AHEMmed!

Sorry bro!

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

The comments at American Lobotomized are precious. PITA to quote them using my pfone. They hate Boner, which is good. Paul Ryan for speaker! “The only problem with Jeannie’s plan is the left-wig liberal media won’t cooperate.” Go read her plan – it’s a GREAT plan! truly, the ONLY problem with it is it won’t work because of the media.

I love these people ajd look eagerly forward to four more years of anguished nonsense from them.

 
 

There’s something about sowing and reaping in some book somewhere.

It occurs to me that they have lots and lots more reaping to do before they catch up to what they’ve sown. Good point

 
 

That wasn’t exactly something that altered the party.

Oh, I think it did. Ford was the surrogate for Nixon, who in the eyes of the true-believer Reaganites was a soulless compromising moderate. No more technocrats, no more compromisers, was the cry; we want Ronnie to lead us to the shining city on a hill. It’s a straight line from that to the Teabaggers.

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

As a party, yes. These are the descendants of the Dixiecrats. There has to be some number of republicans that stick with the party but but cringe every time one of them kneels and gives Rush and “apology”.

Karen Hughes just said she’s going to cut out the tongue of any GOPer who says anything about rape other than it’s horrible and like.

Unlike Dr. Frankenfurter, she’ll remove the symptom but not the cause.

 
 

There’s something about sowing and reaping in some book somewhere.

‘Introductory Pastoral Management’ — I can lend you my copy.

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

Oops – I meant to say something about her being as dramatic and(unintentionally) ridiculousbut not as entertaining as Dr. Frank N. furter

 
 

Republicans begin to eat their own; Karl Rove the appetizer.

 
 

@scribe

How sad is it to look back on Nixon, and have him look sane compared to the current party?

 
 

is walking through his house in absolute darkness while he follows her around with night vision goggles

NVGs don’t work that way, in case anyone didn’t know. They require some ambient light to function. Especially those first-generation ones.

You also lost most of your peripheral vision. It was like looking through a toilet-paper tube.

 
 

Did Major Kong just admit to being a serial killer?

 
 

How sad is it to look back on Nixon, and have him look sane compared to the current party?

Oh, he was plenty crazy. Just in a different way.

 
 

We wore first-generation NVGs in the B-52 as an additional aid to night low-level flying. We also had terrain-mapping radar, FLIR and a night-vision camera built into the aircraft.

You would hopefully remember to take the NVGs off before ejecting (assuming you had time) or the weight of them would snap your neck.

 
 

Did Major Kong just admit to being a serial killer?

More like a hit-man for Uncle Sam. I killed people I didn’t even know just because someone told me to.

Christ have mercy.

 
 

Happy Veteran’s Day (Observed), Major. And all other Sadly vets out there.

 
 

Thanks

 
 

OK, I’m in bed, sick as a dog, watching horror trailers. It’s dark in here. Suddenly I am really in the mood for a silly comedy.

Horror trailers? Silly Comedy? How about a silly horror comedy?

 
 

Major Kong, have you seen the movie “Flight” with Denzel Washington? If so, what did you think?

 
 

Major Kong, have you seen the movie “Flight” with Denzel Washington? If so, what did you think?

I haven’t seen it yet. The previews looked pretty good. I might check it out this weekend.

 
 

finally, polling i would enjoy being part of…

 
 

More like a hit-man for Uncle Sam. I killed people I didn’t even know just because someone told me to.

Wow. That brings it home. Thanks to all the veterans everywhere.

 
 

finally, polling i would enjoy being part of…

This link led me only to disappointment.

 
 

Major damn but I don’t know what to say. You’re a good person.

 
 

Major damn but I don’t know what to say. You’re a good person.

this also, too…

This link led me only to disappointment.

yes, it led A LOT of people to disappointment…

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

Here’s to you, Major and all the vets.

Teh Ho _insists_ on watching In Harm’s Way on Armistice Veteran’s Day (old habits die hard) so that’s our afternoon. One of my favorite war movies too, I admit. Partially because I love saying “lay vu VANa” That very good looking young guy that plays Rock’s son? He was the little kid in Shane.

Someone posted the exploding whale the other day. I’m reposting because today is Exploding Whale Day.

 
 

finally, polling i would enjoy being part of…

Oooh What do you like best Cheese or Beer? Golly that’s a toughie. I think Beer, no Cheese, no Beer….

 
 

Oooh What do you like best Cheese or Beer? Golly that’s a toughie. I think Beer, no Cheese, no Beer….

the one about ‘do you think conservative media figures want to make white people think barack obama hates them’ made me lol…

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

Beer cheese soup FTW.

 
Pupienus, Doctor of Anathematics
 

A big hunk of extra sharp cheddar, a crusty baguette and a bottle or two of Bellhaven. My lunch/dinner on more than one occasion.

 
 

a crusty baguette

That’s no way to talk about teh ho.

 
 

Major damn but I don’t know what to say. You’re a good person.

Thanks Kiwi. Didn’t mean to get all morbid on everyone.

 
 

I’m with Bitter Scribe on the idiocy of making serial killers central to your plot. In any case, I’m far more afraid of massively parallel killers, like, say, Kissinger or W.

 
 

Major – the only veterans who disturb me are the ones who never have second thoughts. Take it easy on yourself.

 
 

“”The nicest veterans in Schenectady, I thought, the kindest and funniest ones, the ones who hated war the most, were the ones who’d really fought.”

Kurt Vonnegut, “Slaughterhouse-Five”

 
 

Happy Veteran’s Day (Observed), Major.

I’ll second that shout-out, but note that it used to be Armistice Day…a tribute to peace.
~

 
 

Major: Do you use racial epithets to describe a past enemy? Do you think wars are a good idea? Do you support the scumbag chickenhawks who start these fucking things?

I think we all know you well enough to know that none of this is you. You did your job, even if you didn’t agree. I was in the Army, and though I never had the misfortune of going to war, the idea of it was something I struggled with all the time. I never wanted to kill people (despite my anonymous internet ranting, I really don’t want to kill most people).

So try not to put the responsibility on yourself. I realize that’s probably much easier said than done… We all know better, and we all know that’s part of living in this (or any other) country. The soldiers, marines, airmen and seamen are victims of our wars too. So we strive to put an end to wars by participating in the political process and raising our kids to be aware of the fact that “those people” are people too.

 
 

Speaking of scumbags: /story/2012/11/12/1160873/-Sad-America-loving-conservatives-already-demanding-secession

 
 

Sad-America-loving-conservatives-already-demanding-secession

Because it worked so well the last time?

 
 

Secessionists: You may leave if you just can’t stand it here, but you can’t take any states with you. We’ll kill you for them just like last time…so shut the fuck up and get over it already.

 
bughunter, who has been ill and has now lost his voice entirely,
 

like bob dole, except without the sparkle

Snort!

(I can still snort, dammit!)

 
 

I was in the Army, and though I never had the misfortune of going to war, the idea of it was something I struggled with all the time.

So some might think this a weird, false equivalence, but at one time I worked at a major defense contractor *cough*Lockheed*cough* developing the next-generation (at the time) Trident missile system. I struggled nonstop with the guilt of working on something that I hated even the idea of as a peace-loving hippie wannabe.

Thank bog they were never used. I’d hate to think that I’d helped, in whatever tiny way, kill millions of people. In this modern world, all of us are complicit to some degree. Major, you might have had the yoke in your hands but everyone who bought gas and supported the politicians who supported the despots helped pull the trigger.

 
 

Whoops. Truncated the beginning of the URL. But honestly, the title tells the story.

Kos, if you must read.

 
 

You may leave if you just can’t stand it here, but you can’t take any states with you.

I for one would welcome the reality-TV remake of Mosquito Coast.

 
 

I think we can all support this:

…Peacefully grant the State of Alabama to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government. As the founding fathers of the United States of America made clear in the Declaration of Independence in 1776: When in the Course of human events…

http://preview.tinyurl.com/alazyhw

I am so proud of my peoples. You can to. Let’s all lend a hand to Alabama in their time of need.

 
 

A big hunk of extra sharp cheddar, a crusty baguette and a bottle or two of Bellhaven. My lunch/dinner on more than one occasion.

I like to bake Camembert in the little wood and staple containers it comes in. With a sprig of thyme and a splash of white and a hunk of bread crusty enough to dig through the skin with.

 
 

Served, presumably, on some mom’s naked bely.

 
 

I wonder how Dondero’s answering machine is. I phoned him just to see if I could get a live person, but it’d be interesting to hear the messages he got.

 
 

Maybe this is why Buttershots Lady doesn’t have her vids shared. Too many of her subscribers have gone full Dondero and can’t share links with the people they are spewing spittle flecked curses at.

 
 

I wonder how Dondero’s answering machine is.

Dondero explains how the personal is political:

I don’t listen to music by Democrats any more. I try to do some research on the political leanings of those I listen too. […] Metallica and Motorhead have expressed right leanings in interviews.

Tempting to leave him a message quoting Lemmy’s endorsement of “It’s A Bomber”.

 
 

You should do that. Or maybe I’ll do it.

 
 

I wonder iffen his wife has put the new gate up yet, she’s had a weekend.

 
 

No secession. They can leave, but they can’t have any Gulf states or any Midwest states or any Eastern or Western states. Or Hawaii. Or Alaska.

We told you fuckers about trying to take states. Don’t make us repeat it.

 
 

The only acceptable music in the world is Ted Nugent and Meat Loaf.

 
 

it’d be interesting to hear the messages he got.
I would be very wrong to start guessing PINs and hacking into it. What’s Ayn Rand’s birthday?

 
 

Only leeches on society expect birthday presents.

 
 

My esteemed colleague assumes that Ayn Rand was birthed. I think the closest to it would be hatched.

 
 

Or possibly summoned from the bowls of Hell by a ritualistic human sacrifice?

 
 

Or possibly summoned from the bowls of Hell by a ritualistic human sacrifice?
Where someone had swapped the alter wine for some vinegar

 
 

How bad can right wing dementia get?

Holy motherfucking SHIT bad. That’s how.

 
 

tsam – It’s not like she ran over a stranger.

 
 

The husband is feeling a bit run down.

 
 

He’s deflated.

 
 

She obviously doesn’t understand how the electoral college works either. Arizona went for Romney without her husband’s vote.

 
 

But if her husband voted it would have gone ROMNIER!

 
 

Nice Fox headline twist. Turns out it was Obamacare’s fault:

PD: Obamacare argument leads to domestic violence

http://www.myfoxphoenix.com/story/20073992/2012/11/12/obamacare-dv-case?

 
 

…No secession…

Ah, Tsam, come on, losing a few Gulf states is okay. Baldwin county, the heart of liberal coastal Alabama, right?, voted 80% Romney. It can be a package deal, take SC and we’ll throw in AL.

 
 

Take the psychos. Leave the land.

 
 

Lol-yo prez so black, bitches be runnin brothers over wit dey whip!

 
 

I like the URL: Obamacare-dv-case. It’s fair AND balanced.

 
 

everytime i refresh my screen i see this:
The Five Stages of GOP Grief:

1) Denial
2) Denial
3) Denial
4) Denial
5) Aneurysm

and it makes me laff everytime…thank you, thunder…

 
 

3k signatures in the last couple hours:

http://preview.tinyurl.com/alazyhw

Go Alabama!

 
 

Go Alabama!

And take Mississippi with you!

 
 

Can’t they just all move to Kansas and Nebraska? We could give them dirt to build jumps for their ATVs. They could call it Randistan.

 
 

We should not concede any coastal states.

 
 

We should not concede any coastal states.

tsam, it’d be a net gain, given that those moochers suck up more than they contribute. Fuck ’em.

 
 

more high strung white conservative psychosis

Bitch in trouble, keeps talking shit

 
 

I mean the land! We keep that, they can go start their own conservatopia somewhere else. What if I want to go fishing in the gulf? I don’t want to go to another country that is lousy with dumbs hit rednecks with beards and psychological issues.

 
 

more high strung white conservative psychosis

She said she’s not racist, so it’s okay.

 
 

…lousy with dumbshit rednecks with beards and psychological issues…

And that would be different from the current AL/MS/Panhandle how?

 
 

…dumbshit rednecks with beards and psychological issues…

I SAY GOOD DAY, SIR.

 
 

Ok-one more time: idiot racists OUT, humans in. The gulf coast is beautiful. No need to give it away to people like Larry the Cable Guy and NASCAR

 
 

I SAY GOOD DAY, SIR.

You’re not a redneck!

 
 

Harumph. Leave the farm before I’m of age for shagging heifers, and suddenly I lose all credibility.

 
 

Alabama at 17k at 3:30am. Yes. We. Can! Go Alabama!

 
 

some kind of artisan bologna

like Lecter’s victims?

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

David Howell Petraeus == Sleep with dead valour == Hallowed, eruptive, sad.

 
 

Is Petreus related to the Howell’s of G. Island? It would explain so much.

 
 

This all sounds like 2008 with much more intensity. I have to conclude that the GOP will go full metal teabagger for the mid terms, which will be a perfect opportunity to retake the House and get or 60 seats in the Senate.

 
 

Is everyone else staying out of the big chain stores for Xmas shopping? I certainly hope so.

 
 

I’ve trained my relatives and friends to expect nothing from me but contempt, so shopping is easy.

 
 

I’ve trained my relatives and friends to expect nothing from me but contempt, so shopping is easy.

Please sir, may I have some more?

 
 

Please sir, may I have some more?

No.

 
 

I wonder iffen his wife has put the new gate up yet, she’s had a weekend.

yeah, but didn’t she have to take the car engines apart or something too? i’m tellin ya…that gal better hang on to her man…

 
 

I’ve trained my relatives and friends to expect nothing from me but contempt, so shopping is easy.

Where does one shop for contempt? Best I can get is mild condescension from the Apple folks.*

*Not actually true. Most people are nice to me when I shop.

 
 

Best I can get is mild condescension from the Apple folks.

Wow! You got that far? I get turned away at the door for being insufficiently hip.

 
 

Well, I have two hips so that’s not a problem for me.

 
 

Does that make you a “hipster”?

 
 

Wow! You got that far? I get turned away at the door for being insufficiently hip.

Wear black jeans and a black turtleneck. That will get you in the door. Then examine the laptops and ipads, not by using them but by touching them, assessing their size, weight and texture, similar to how you would choose an avocado. When one of the geniuses comes over to ask if you need help, that is when you ask why the new Macbook air doesn’t have a cupholder.

 
 

I’ve found that I get faster service from the “Genius”* “Bar”** if I quietly drool on my shirt while waiting.

*Nuh-uh.

**I see no beer there.

 
 

I used to get really good customer service by carrying a skateboard into shops. Instant zone-in ‘Can I help you?’

 
 

that is when you ask why the new Macbook air doesn’t have a cupCAKE holder.

Fixed Sync complete. .

 
 

Wear black jeans and a black turtleneck.

Grow a beard and get some birth control glasses that don’t actually do anything besides give you the perfect air of self satisfaction. Practice a condescending sneer, and be sure to learn lots of fancy computer terms like processor cycles, MFLOP benchmarks, firewire, DDR3, and cloud computing, bro.

You might just get yourself a part time job teaching the Apple language to recalcitrant souls who have been suffering under the oppression of M$ all these long years and have decided to come over to the open and honest business model of Apple!

 
 

MFLOP

hanson’s least popular song…

 
 

some *observations* of the strange happenings since obama’s re-election from the hooterville independent’s wingnut editor, who btw, really was hoping for a huckabee/cain ticket:

General Petraeus suddenly resigning just prior to the start of an investigation on the Benghazi attack?

And the resignation of Sec. of State Hillary Clinton?

And the news of $9.00 per gallon gas in the offing?

And of big money boys pulling their dollars out of the stock market, fearing gloom days a-coming?

Lastly, have you heard that a large group of folks in Louisiana are working to get enough signers to petition to seced from the Union? Please note this is fact, comes from a long-time friend wse know and trust from Louisiana.

we were also treated to an editorial by Cal Thomas and of course the editor’s own nitwit opinions which basically half of the country is unpatriotic mooching drug and sex fiends who want a bunch of stuff…

although there was a great letter to the editor from a county financial worker who totally reamed his ass about the ‘welfare lady buys single grape to get money off her ebt card’ he printed last week and another from a guy who called for the wingnuts to calm the fuck down and was a counterpoint to eric dondero…

along with assorted local election news, church calendars, high school sports, and a plethora of typos and atrocious grammar, that’s pretty much the hooterville indigestion in a nutshell…i will accept your thanks for saving you the $45/year subscription…

 
 

jesusfuckingchrist…here is an email from my mom’s asshat husband:

Each of you have an interest in Agenda 21 a UN program being supported by the current administration. Part of the Agenda 21 follows the teachings of George Bernard Shaw and Margret Sanger that society is better served by eliminating the non-producers, elders with illness/disabilities, children with illness/disabilities.

Of course we know aging people. (Shaw)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=0CDZiR3yGtI

When I saw this I thought of Aidy and Ryan. (Sanger)

he apparently sent it to my sister whose son also has cerbral palsy…don’t wanna click those links, but i know i’m going to have to…

 
 

Ooh the super scary agenda 21 that says we should plan for the future! It’s an outrage to have the UN say we should build neighborhoods that will still be usable if energy gets a lot more expensive. How dare they tell us we should leave some forests standing and not pollute. What gives them the right to say we should pay attention to public health and fight diseases and birth defects and stuff? They must be up to no good. Why would the UN suggest that stores be within walking distance of homes and that roads have bike lanes, except to further their diabolical plots? Will nothing stop this perfidious betrayal of all that is good and righteous?

 
 

Part of the Agenda 21 follows the teachings of George Bernard Shaw and Margret Sanger that society is better served by eliminating the non-producers, elders with illness/disabilities, children with illness/disabilities.

Does he actually link to the text or just videos of people talking about it? Because the UN put the whole damn thing online and yet I never see anyone linking to any section that does what they say it does.

 
 

Will nothing stop this perfidious betrayal of all that is good and righteous?

since i recall hearing nothing about agenda 21, i did a quit kazoogle of it and read the wiki entry…and then i saw that the leading lights over at american stinker are up in arms about it…so that settled it for me…

now, i will need some sadly help in composing a reply to asshat telling him to quit sending me this kind of shit…

 
 

You just know that Agenda 21 is the nose in the camel’s tent for One! World! Order! and death camps and FEMA camps soon to follow.

WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!!1!

 
 

Does he actually link to the text or just videos of people talking about it? Because the UN put the whole damn thing online and yet I never see anyone linking to any section that does what they say it does.

just linked to the videos…no linky to text at all…

 
 

Wiki links it, why not send the UN page to him and ask him to point out the bits where it does what he claims?

 
 

I’ve found that I get faster service from the “Genius”* “Bar”** if I quietly drool on my shirt while waiting.

If you figure out a way to drool loudly, you have to let me know I how it’s done.

 
 

If you figure out a way to drool loudly, you have to let me know I how it’s done.

I do not believe that you actually have a small child at home.

 
 

I would just like to drop by before going to YET ANOTHER FUCKING USELESS MEETING GAWDAMMIT PEOPLE WTF I HATE MEETINGS that the fact that Fenwick was here earlier and I wasn’t is simply coincidence.

But notice that T&U still isn’t here. Coincidence also? Hmmm?

 
 

But notice that T&U still isn’t here. Coincidence also? Hmmm?

Hey, we’d better remind her to vote.

 
 

She didn’t say that she had voted last I had heard. Now I’m worried

 
 

News flash! Obama didn’t really win!

Oh, this election schadenfreude is like Halloween candy. You know at some point you have to stop, but you just can’t.

 
 

A particularly juicy mango from something called I Own the World (nice unassuming handle):

I will continue my personal “civil disharmony”.

If getting service by any goverment entity, I will request service by someone closer to that of my background and from somebody other that I am pretty sure did vote for Obama.

(Yeah difficult, but it’s worth the look on “their” faces when discrimination is truely ued in a manner which they can’t take away from me.)

Play THAT through your dog whistles you “O-Vees”.

Oh, I so want to be at the DMV when this guy demands a white clerk.

 
 

Agenda 21 = Plan 9 From Outer Space.

 
 

Oh, I so want to be at the DMV when this guy demands a white clerk.

I await the day that I’m standing next to someone like this is a line somewhere so I can bash his fucking teeth down his throat. Someday, DAWG willing, it will happen. I will them gleefully report it here so you can all help me rationalize my actions and justify myself despite knowing that violence solves nothing.

 
 

So he can tell an O voter just by lookin’, huh?

Heh heh heh.

 
 

Wiki links it, why not send the UN page to him and ask him to point out the bits where it does what he claims?

LOL–you probably believe that birth certificate we all saw was real. They’re not putting it on the website, that would be dumb.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Where does one shop for contempt?

Gain 25 pounds and walk into Victoria’s Secret. I’m lucky enough to still be smallish (well, more and more ish and less and less small, but still not gross). You should see the treatment that the larger ladies get, even if they’re in there shopping for their daughter. (You’d think they’d know better at V’s S… Georgia isn’t exactly populated with anorexic runway models.)

 
 

So according to this guy, he will not deal with:

Blacks
Latinos
Gays
Single women
Single men (yes, they voted for O)
Asians

That’s a pretty broad cross-section of folks.

 
 

Gain 25 pounds and walk into Victoria’s Secret. I’m lucky enough to still be smallish (well, more and more ish and less and less small, but still not gross). You should see the treatment that the larger ladies get, even if they’re in there shopping for their daughter. (You’d think they’d know better at V’s S… Georgia isn’t exactly populated with anorexic runway models.)

I’m hardly anorexic but have usually gotten great service at VS. Perhaps I’ve been lucky.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

Minority voters are the real Hitlers here.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Dr.KN, maybe the folks at the VS near you have more brains than they do down here. (An awful lot of stupid leaks down all over us from SC.)

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

Also, too: gents, valuable lesson. Don’t get the free panties at Victoria’s Secret, then say “don’t wrap them, I’ll eat them here” and stuff them in your mouth.

Even if your wife is standing next to you. It just doesn’t play.

 
 

News flash! Obama didn’t really win!
Be sure to click thru to Farah’s 2012 2012 VOTER FRAUD CHALLENGE and see JF perform daring feats of…well, idiocy.

To prove that the Obama campaign was willingly accepting cash contributions from foreigners, WND went to great lengths – using a proxy server in Pakistan, staffers placed small donations using a disposable credit card under the name Osama bin Laden, occupation “deceased terrorist.” His company was listed as “al-Qaida.”

Every red flag we could conceive of was used to ensure that the contributions would be rejected. They were not.

Bolding mine.
Let’s figure out who’s the fool here. Time’s up! Turn in your papers.

 
 

Perhaps I’ve been lucky.

Perhaps they sensed your inherent VSness.

 
 

My demographic voted Romney. I need to get a customer service position just so I can do my job competently and cheerfully and then after the customer is thoroughly pleased I can announce “You just got served by an OBAMA VOTER!” Then shake my butt Shakira-style until they leave demoralized.

 
 

Gain 25 pounds and walk into Victoria’s Secret. I’m lucky enough to still be smallish (well, more and more ish and less and less small, but still not gross). You should see the treatment that the larger ladies get, even if they’re in there shopping for their daughter. (You’d think they’d know better at V’s S… Georgia isn’t exactly populated with anorexic runway models.)

i am afeared of the treatment i may get at vs…no matter what hubbkf says…

 
 

Oh, I so want to be at the DMV when this guy demands a white clerk.

I worked at a customer service call center for HVAC products a number of years ago. Every so often, one of the women with whom I worked would have to transfer an HVAC installer to my extension, because he believed that his question could not be answered by a woman, despite those women having more experience and technical knowledge than me. It was always a struggle to remain polite as I provided tech support to the individual who had just revealed himself to be at least a sexist if not a downright moron. The weird thing is, they never seemed hateful, just puzzled that anyone could possibly expect their issue to be resolved by a woman. I would have had a hard time retaining a civil demeanor if those installers had been doing that to make some sort of asinine political point.

 
bughunter, who has been ill and is still catching up,
 

finally, polling i would enjoy being part of…

That was simply awesome…

 
bughunter, who has been ill and is still catching up,
 
 

My demographic voted Romney. I need to get a customer service position just so I can do my job competently and cheerfully and then after the customer is thoroughly pleased I can announce “You just got served by an OBAMA VOTER!” Then shake my butt Shakira-style until they leave demoralized.

That may be the best thing ever written. I LOLed.

Also, I would pay to see someone–anyone–do that.

 
 

Every red flag we could conceive of was used to ensure that the contributions would be rejected. They were not.

Weren’t they? Because every account I heard of people trying this they were rejected within a couple hours – the complaint was that it wasn’t instant, and that it was done by the credit card company rather than the campaign. Also, do they forget Romney held ACTUAL FUNDRAISERS in foreign countries? I suppose it’s possible only expat US citizens went to those, in which case why do Farah et alia think those same people can’t use the internet and a US-issued credit card to donate?

 
 

Perhaps they sensed your inherent VSness.

Nah. People are just afraid of my bunny ears.

 
 

Then shake my butt Shakira-style until they leave demoralized.

This may not have the effect you are looking for.

 
bughunter, who has been ill and is still catching up,
 

Looks like the lines are being drawn in the wingnuts vs. the villagers civil war.

Extra butter, please.

 
 

I have always been madly in love with Stephen Colbert.

 
 

Minority voters are the real Hitlers here.

Who said minority voters could have a seat at the table anyway? COMMUNISTS?

 
bughunter, who has been ill and is still catching up,
 

It was always a struggle to remain polite as I provided tech support to the individual who had just revealed himself to be at least a sexist if not a downright moron.

IKWYM, Helmut. My wife is an architect, general contractor, and now, a realtor. She used to wear work boots and a hard hat on the job, which was to take over problem construction projects and get people to do whatever the fuck it took to finish the job so that the surety bonds could be released.

A regular part of her job was overcoming the obstruction, politicking, lying, [attempted] backstabbing, and downright defiance by bigoted assholes who felt that it wasn’t a job a woman could or should do. And it pissed them off even more when she came in, found the problem, saw the solution, and made it happen. It happened Every. Damn. Time.

She found it amusing. I found it enraging.

She got really good at identifying the assholes right off the bat, too. They universally drove the biggest trucks – that was the tell.

 
 

Shakira shakes her butt sexy-style. Is there a way to shake your butt in a “nanny-nanny boo-boo” sort of way?

 
bughunter, who still sounds like Froggy from Our Gang,
 

Holy Fuck.

David Frum on Morning Joe, sounding more like Robert Reich:

the fact that millions of Americans don’t have health insurance, they don’t get to be on television. And it is maybe a symptom of a broader problem, not just the Republican problem, that the economic anxieties of so many Americans are just not part of the national discussion at all. I mean, we have not yet emerged from the greatest national catastrophe, the greatest economic catastrophe since the Great Depression. And what are we talking about? The deficit and the debt. And these are important problems, but they’re a lot easier to worry about if you are wealthier than you were in 2008, which most of the people on television now are again, if you are securely employed, which most of the people on television now are. But that’s not true for 80% of America.

Go over to Digby’s place and watch the video. You can see the heads asplode.

 
bughunter, who still sounds like Froggy from Our Gang,
 

DrKN:

Look here, maybe?

 
 

Also, I would pay to see someone–anyone–do that.
Shake their butts Shakira-style? People already pay to see that.

 
 

Shakira shakes her butt sexy-style. Is there a way to shake your butt in a “nanny-nanny boo-boo” sort of way?

Sweet IPU! You are just asking for a McGravitas animated gif-tse.

 
 

comment mango from wingnut daily link:

I agree but, the american people are gutless and don’t give a damb as long as they get their free hand outs. If the democrates were found guilty of this they wouild only spend a few years in a counrty club prison were they would be treated like some kind of f – -king royalty anyway this also aplies to republicans thats why there should term limits to congress and the senette 4 years max then they leave take a cut inpay and lose there health care that they now have and be forced to pay higher premiemons and to get a real job.

apparently schooling is a free hand out that this brave soul did not and would not accept ever…

 
 

From gocart mozart’s link:
The editor pulled the image of the book cover from the Internet without realizing it had been doctored.

Someone has not learned how to use the internet.

 
 

apparently schooling is a free hand out that this brave soul did not and would not accept ever…
Needs moar “The fact is…”

 
 

I have always been madly in love with Stephen Colbert.

a three-way with colbert and stewart is one of my deepest desires…

 
 

The editor pulled the image of the book cover from the Internet without realizing it had been doctored.

possibly one of the funniest ‘ooops’ on tee vee ever…

 
 

We are following up internally as well to avoid a repeat of this inexcusable oversight,” Harris said.

Translation: we’re drinking heavily.

 
 

possibly one of the funniest ‘ooops’ on tee vee ever…

Maybe, but I think they’d have a hard time topping Fox News airing a news item about Sarah Palin and showing a picture of Tina Fey in costume as Palin.

 
 

Suezboo: Thanx. You stay strong too.

You are perceptive: I assumed you were keeping a low profile during election season so as not to rile up the other Sadlies…

That was certainly an element, perhaps. But I wasn’t low profile; I left Sadlytown altogether. No look-ins, no lurking, nada. I doubt whether I could have remained ‘low profile’ because

…WARNING…WARNING…WARNING… Fenwick Rants bearing two-six-niner !

I have deeply-held views about United States politics that are quite different from those held by most liberal, progressive, and ‘pragmatic’ Democrats, and (judging from half-remembered, months-ago threads) that includes mostly all Sadlies.

Moreover, I am by nature combative, aggressive, and scornful in argumentation. (I lost some speaker points in HS debate for sarcasm.) Worst of all, I’ve got a short fuse….especially when it comes to US politics. And the explosive is always super-aggravated in Presidential years.

I could see it coming way back in March or April or whenever it was: The Nader-elected-Bush canard–idiotic (or ignorant) though it is–had already been deployed in Sadlyville. As was the ‘purist’ label indiscrimately plastered on any refusniks to the Corporate Uni-Party. Lectures by ‘pragmatists’ who understand ‘the realities’ of politics in the Electoral College system. In short, I could see the early roll-out of the Usual Memes, beginning even in Sadlyville.

————————-

Yes, there was that, suezboo. But even more important, I did not to want ‘rile up’ myself. ((I have clearly regressed while writing this, I do believe))

I left Sadlyville at the same time that I entered the clinic, or so I remember. I’m almost sure I left a ‘foreshadowing’ note on SN about my application for the clinic. Did I leave an note on SN after admission into the clinic? I sure meant to, peeples. I didn’t want to disappear without any exlpanation. Can any archive search wizards help me out? Damn, I do not like the decline in my memory.

At the time I entered the clinic I needed to avoid stressors, if at all possible. Politics was the easiest and most obvious stressor to discard. So I slipped out of Sadlytown (the name flucuates, y’unnerstand, sometimes it’s Sadlyburg) and cut my politics-watching w-a-y down. Limited to scanning leftie newsites, punching into 538 from time-to-time. Absolutely no e-mail politics to family and friends (thus breaking a long and noble tradition begun in 1996).

…WARNING…WARNING…WARNING… Fenwick Digressions bearing zero–two–three….

Politics in the Age of Dinosaurs.

I have been a US politics junkie much of my life. My first ‘awareness’ of politics was 1960, which ultimately ended up Kennedy vs Nixon. I followed the primaries too. (The Republican primary was, if I remember, the last hurrah of papa Romney.) The conventions were an absolute blast, completely unlike the shiny, shiny pre-scripted conventions of today. In the the olden days of my youth–when dinosaurs roamed the earth–there were ‘favorite son’ candidates. that is, a governor holding ALL of his delegates as a single block for bargaining. (Ya gotta remember this is before most states had primaries.) Some roll-calls were subtle tactical games, best embodied by the ‘passing’ and ‘yielding to’ ploys. Intrigue aplenty and terrific drama. Yessirree Bob, that’s the way it was back in the Olden Days of gavel-to-gavel coverage on black-and-white tee-vees. Anyway, I’ve been interested in US politics since I was a boy.

Fenwick as Carnak

The whole Democratic 2008 primary was a hoot and a half, especially after it boiled down to Obama vs Clinton. Plenty of fun in the Republican primary also: Mike Huckabee & Chuck Norris, the Mittster, and the multiple resurrections of St. McCain. I was already locked into 538.

The day before the elections, I sent a blanket e-mail to my family and friends with my state-by-state predictions in both Presidential and Senatorial elections.

I called only three states wrong: (1) had Obama winning Missouri … (2) did not forsee Indiana going Blue … and (3) took a flutter on Georgia going for Obama, and lost. (Hey! I gotta play a hunch now and again.) Missouri and Indiana were almost a swap-out on EV’s; thus my Electoral Count was only off by Georgia.

Called all of the 2008 senatorial races correctly, except one. Franken was razor-thin and followed by nerve-wracking months, but I got it correct. The failure was, in fact, part of my Georgia hunch: I called the Senate race going to a runnoff… and the Democratic candidate winning the runoff.

In my scenario, ya see, Obama risks some of his new-found political capital and uses his star-quality as President-Elect and his pizzazz as a campaigner to push the D-candidate over the top in the run-off. ((What? You’ve never taken a flutter in filling out the NCAA brackets? Never pencilled in a 15 seed taking out a #2, huh?) ) Well, my prediction was half-right: There was a run-off, but the US got another six years of Saxby Chambliss

In retrospect, it was a silly premise; the Secret Service would mos def have vetoed it. But the Democrats sure could have reinforced Georgia in the interval before the run-off election: Bus in legendary 08 volunteers / GOTV / phone-banking; organization and resources (including $). They coulda done that at least. They didn’t. If the Democrats bring it off, they don’t need to wait for Al Franken: Ya got a super-majority from the get-go.

Anyway, Howard Dean is politely shown the door, and Rahm Emmanuel immediately begins dismantling the 50-state strategy. Where’s the fun in that, for pete’s sake?

2012 : No drilling down into the numbers, no close and detailed tracking, no conversations, no e-mails, no predictions

(Of course with Oreos 2012 season, I had a golden replacement for ALL of those things. I will surely tell the episode wherein Fenwick himself witnessed the end of an era sitting in Section 18, Row 5, Seat 6…..1B field level at Camden Yards. Hey, we need to have some baseball in the off-season. (At least bbfk will enjoy it, I hope.)

Coming Attraction !!: The actual and fer-true story behind the origin of Guerilla Voters Cadre 18.

 
 

Now it all makes sense.

the dr. evil bit is most amusing…

 
 

I think that was the best use of the “Easy Button” in a youtuber, ever.
~

 
 

A counter-petition that I think we could all get behind.

 
 

okay…here’s my rough draft:

Please do not send me any more emails like this. Whatever ‘claims’ these videos are making is completely false, which is made clear in the resolution that came out of Rio de Janeiro in 1992–the first principle being: Human beings are at the centre of concerns for sustainable development. They are entitled to a healthy and productive life in harmony with nature.”

Also, Agenda 21 has been out there since 1972 and was signed on to by George W. Bush. Bill Clinton also pledged his support as has Obama, but not much really has been done to implement any of it’s suggestions (it is a non-binding resolution, btw), so this isn’t something that the evil Obama administration has cooked up in order to implement socialism and sharia law in our country.

People like Glenn Beck serve only to spread falsehoods, misinformation and fear…and for what purpose? All you’ve accomplished is to make me angry and to promote a paranoid fantasy that is simply not going to happen. I actually feel sorry for people who get pulled in by the Becks, the “American Thinkers,” and the Limbaughs…it seems like a scary world to live in…

 
 

Please do not send me any more emails like this.

I wouldn’t ask him to stop. I like correcting people so I’d do that – and I have done that for other emailers – and cc everyone in the cc field. Every time. He’ll get the idea that he’s being shown up after the first twelve or thirteen times.

And you’re also letting his correspondents know his head’s up his ass and what the real story is, so good all around.

 
tsam will bogart your thread
 

Mekl?šana
Aptuveni 7 260 rezult?ti (0,22 sekundes)

SUB CHEAT

 
tsam will bogart your thread
 

bbkf;

Mine would be a “reply all” which would look like this:

Don’t send me this crap anymore. I don’t have time for it.

The LAST thing you want to do is draw him into a debate over the veracity of these claims. If he didn’t laugh at it the first go-around, he’s never going to be convinced.

 
 

I wouldn’t ask him to stop. I like correcting people so I’d do that

yeah, i’m now actually thinking about thanking him for sending that to me since i was pretty much unaware of agenda 21…but now that i see it serves to promote mankind with an emphasis on the poor, women, the elderly and the disabled, i am soooooo behind it! i will tell him that thanks to him, i will do what i can to promote agenda 21…after all, i DO have a direct interest in it in that i want to see my daughter and everyone like her to have safe and more than adequate housing and care…so i will work to promote it and to promote policies that don’t advocate cutting entitlements and services…services to the disabled are always on the chopping block, so it is a real fear for me…not that bronco is going to do away with my child, but that the goopers will, through lack of funding…ooooh, this is going to be a fun email to write!!!

 
 

The LAST thing you want to do is draw him into a debate over the veracity of these claims. If he didn’t laugh at it the first go-around, he’s never going to be convinced.

so very, very true…he is an asshat of the first order and he thinks glenn beck is credible, so yeah, he’s not really dealing with reality on a daily basis…

 
 

ooooh, this is going to be a fun email to write!!!

To go along with what tsam said, although I like doing the corrections I keep this stuff brief. The longer it is, the more there is to take issue with.

 
 

A counter-petition that I think we could all get behind.

I think they should self-deport.

 
 

I think they should self-deport.

Well by re-electing Obummer we’ve made their lives nearly unbearable so we’re on our way.

PAPERS PLEASE.

 
 

The longer it is, the more there is to take issue with.

You are stupid. Shut your festering gob.
~

 
 

Shut your fucking accounts down, shut your fucking mouths.

 
 

how’s this:

Thanks for sending this on…I’m not sure what these videos are trying to say, but they did get me to look up Agenda 21 which seems like a really good thing to promote…especially since the first principle of the resolution that came out of Rio de Janeiro in 1992 is: Human beings are at the centre of concerns for sustainable development. They are entitled to a healthy and productive life in harmony with nature.” That seems like a really good thing to promote, since I would like there to be a sustainable world for not only my children but also my grandchildren. I really like that the resolution emphasizes special focus to help women, the urban and rural poor, the elderly and those with disabilities.

I also did not know that Agenda 21 has been around since 1972 and was signed on to by George H.W. Bush. Bill Clinton also pledged his support as has Obama, but not much really has been done to implement any of it’s suggestions (it is a non-binding resolution, btw), so this isn’t something that the Obama administration has cooked up in order to implement Socialism and Sharia Law in our country.

Mine and Aidan’s world depends on what some call Socialism, but the truth is that she wouldn’t receive all the services she does without government assistance…in fact all her care is subsidized. It has been a joy to see her not only grow, but thrive where she is at. But every year, it seems the costs of services go up and funding gets cut because it’s not as important as missiles or tax breaks for corporations. This is the reality we face every day and I really worry about the day when no funding is available…

So, adopting strategic plans like Agenda 21 puts my mind at ease a bit…knowing that there are a group of people dedicated to making the world a better place no matter who or where they are…I truly hope the US steps up it’s commitment to this project…

here’s a link that will tell you all about it: http://www.un.org/esa/dsd/agenda21/index.shtml

 
 

Shut your fucking accounts down, shut your fucking mouths.

wow, now i have a hankering for some buttershots and water with an occasional beer chaser…

 
 

yeeps…the petraeus affair is reaching ‘enquirer’ proportions…

 
 

how’s this:

Ooh, that’s some good knife-twisting.

 
 

Agenda 21 is 2.33333333333 times as bad as Plan 9! And that was from Outer Frekin’ Space!!!! Wake Up Skree-Ple !!

 
 

Ooh, that’s some good knife-twisting.

i try…

 
 

That’s nicely done bbkf, but you should rick-roll the link to tigris doing the Shakira.

 
 

Hey awesome site here, wish I wrote for it…

Oh wait…

(scramble)

(catch breath)

So yeah…. uh, new post.

 
 

yeeps…the petraeus affair is reaching ‘enquirer’ proportions…

I have dibs on any Hollywood script called “The Men who Stare at Goatse”.

 
 

Only 1k signatures left to go. You can do it, Alabama!

http://preview.tinyurl.com/alazyhw

 
 

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