Brent Bozell is a pathetic nattering penis fart.

Fart jokes are funnier if you fart instead of saying “fart.”

But the descent from Bob Hope and Johnny Carson to Seth MacFarlane is from the clouds in the sky to the bowels of the sewer.

Bob Hope and Johnny Carson were HOLY MEN!

But not all comedy is horrible liberal trash these days, right? There’s that guy with the dead terrorist puppet!

Does Brent really believe that old school comics never said any naughty words after hours? Grow the fuck up, you little child.

Bozell the Cocksucker!

But not all comedy is horrible liberal trash these days, right?

RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!!!!

Whatever happened to clean comedians like Pryor, Carlin, Bruce….?

McDonald’s and other large corporations (Dodge, Toyota, even Domino’s Pizza) keep fanning the flatulence beneath MacFarlane’s wings.

Oh no, not Domino’s! It was all right when they were funding Operation Rescue, but now they’ve become EEEEEVIL!!!!

Why can’t we go back to the days when we could look up to upstanding Christian moral exemplars like the Rat Pack?

Le sigh. Language scolds are SO shopworn.

I’m not even a fan of McFarlane’s humor, but this article is mega-whiny, even by Bozell’s standards.

the descent from Bob Hope and Johnny Carson to Seth MacFarlane is from the clouds in the sky to the bowels of the sewer.

He should return us to those past tasteful comedic heights and do it in blackface.

Just read the article. Sorry to repeat myself and other people, but SERIOUSLY? A conservative is gonna whine about p00p and penis jokes in Family Guy? And South Park… uh, just ignore that?

I guess that sounds right. (After all, it’s their ticket into the hipness that is pop culture).

Does Brent really believe that old school comics never said any naughty words after hours? Grow the fuck up, you little child.

Someone should introduce Bozell to Dick Cavett. He’d tell him a doozy about Jack Benny. Once Cavett and Benny were in an elevator, where a third person got on. Said person spent the rest of their time on the elevator gushing and fawning over Benny, who accepted it with his usual modesty and grace. After the person got off, and Benny and Cavett were alone, Benny turned and said, “you know, kid, sometimes you just wanna tell ’em to go fuck themselves.”

I long for the good old days of flatulence, impotence, and deflowering jokes in Shakespeare.

Bob Hope – his standard movie character, serial sexual harrasser.
Johnny Carson – 170+ wives, all named some version of Jo/Joan/Joanne.

Seth MacFarlane – Penis jokes.

What was the question?

OT but with demonic free-range testicles: http://gothamist.com/2012/10/06/lawyer_says_castrating_model_put_lo.php

Also, the nested comments seem to have been made just for Subby’s entertainment.

During the rededication ceremony of the Statue of Liberty, on July 4, 1986, Bob Hope joked:

“I just heard the Statue of Liberty has AIDS. Nobody knows if she got it from the mouth of the Hudson or the Staten Island Fairy.”

Good taste on every level.

…to the bowels of the sewer.

If sewers have bowels, do street lights have spleens?

do street lights have spleens?

Only if they’re the right height.

RobNYNY1957 said,
October 7, 2012 at 20:42

Srsly? Fuck, that’s cold! Whaddadick!

Also, I seem to remember from the film The Aristocrats that Johnny Carson was a huge fan of the joke. So, y’know, there’s that.

Also, too, rape can be funny!

Wuzza-wuzzup, loony libs? The funky fact of the matter is, ya jabronis, that Boss Bozell is right on the money on you crass clowns! You dopes are all about naughty words and poop humor, but you silly socialists don’t see that the biggest laugher is your Clown in Chief, Obummer!

Have a slice of that SPREAD, libs! Urban out.

Tallulah Bankhead is said to have passed gas in an elevator and the operator asked her if she farted. Her reply: “You don’t think I smell like this all the time, do you?”

Bob Hope – his standard movie character, serial sexual harrasser.

And coward and bumbler as well.

I once dated a woman whose sister and brother-in-law owned property on Lakershim Blvd in LA, he had started out in business by buying cheap used cars and restoring them into drivability.

He told me that Bob Hope was notorious for not paying his bills on time, FWIW.

Did Brent Bozo collaborate with George Will on the post?

He told me that Bob Hope was notorious for not paying his bills on time, FWIW.
But did he come to the door in a dress when you installed two-way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood?

Would be-actress friend paid the rent by working for a collection agency. (Literally at the world-famous corner of Hollywood & Vine. No one in L.A. can figure out why it’s so famous, by the way.) Biggest celebrity offender there? Zsa Zsa Gabor, who didn’t like paying her dentist.

Are there any questions in life that can’t be solved with more beans?
~

Beans
Beans
The musical fruit
The more you eat the more you toot
The more you toot the better you feel
Let’s have beans with every meal

Hey, LAAAAADYYYYY! Now there was tasteful humor–

Oops, I forgot the perfidious French like him. Never mind.

Oops, I forgot the perfidious French like him. Never mind.

Someone must – i always found him astoundingly annoying, and the only good he produced was inspiring a perfect Animaniacs ep.

Then there was the song he recorded with Dino where his part was to sing “Blow me” (another kiss …).

Some humor is crude and tasteless: News at 11.

Oops. Might have been an impersonation.

Some humor is crude and tasteless: News at 11.

How’s the new drug?
.

Pupienus Maximus said,
October 7, 2012 at 21:53

Did Brent Bozo collaborate with George Will on the post?

Not enough baseball references.

Administrative Personnel Only
~

Some humor is crude and tasteless: News at 11.

How’s the new drug?
.

Thank you for asking, JP. I was a little jittery and lethargic earlier and I’ve been a little foggy-headed…but no scary or alarming side effects at all. I feel silly for worrying myself into a frenzy.

I was watching “Bridesmaids” last night. I’m guessing bozo would not find the characters ladylike.

Farts come out of your ass

Wow. http://www.towleroad.com/2012/10/family-guy-animator-illustrates-obamas-point-graphically-video.html

Brent Bozell is an urbane writer who attracts an exceptionally broad-minded and high-toned readership.

From his comments section:
all libs are born of and to the sewer!

What is it with these liberals they always have their head in their crotch. Like a bunch of pack animals running around sniffing one another behinds!!! If the issues don’t involve sex or body parts they cannot communicate or think straight

How come I can’t stand the smell of other persons’ farts, but I love the smell of my own?

(Literally at the world-famous corner of Hollywood & Vine. No one in L.A. can figure out why it’s so famous, by the way.)

Hollywood and Vine, the intersection of Hollywood Boulevard and Vine Street in Hollywood, Los Angeles, California, became famous in the 1920s for its concentration of radio and movie-related businesses. The Hollywood Walk of Fame is centered on the intersection.

Today, not many production facilities are located in the immediate area. One of the few remaining is the Capitol Records Tower to the north of the intersection.

The subway station of the same name for the Metro Red Line is located directly below the intersection, but the entrance/exit to the station is located one block east at Hollywood and Argyle Avenue. The intersection is located in ZIP code 90028.

……………………………………………………………..

Beginning in the 1920s, during the Golden Age of Hollywood, the area began to see an influx of money and influence as movie and music businesses began to move in, turning the local farms and orchards into movie backlots. Hollywood and Vine was the second busiest intersection in the area, after Wilshire Boulevard and Western Avenue.[2]

http://silverbirchpress.wordpress.com/2012/08/10/raymond-chandlers-red-wind/

There was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot dry Santa Anas that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands’ necks. Anything can happen. You can even get a full glass of beer at a cocktail lounge.”

Q: What’s the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A: I dunno, but excuse me I need to go defrost some hamburger.

Q: Why do farts smell?
A: So deaf people can enjoy them, too.

What is it with these liberals they always have their head in their crotch. Like a bunch of pack animals running around sniffing one another behinds!!! If the issues don’t involve sex or body parts they cannot communicate or think straight

Whereas this person thinks everything is about body parts and still can’t communicate or think straight?

Inspiring.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_Pétomane

http://www.fart-joke.com/

Just read the article. Sorry to repeat myself and other people, but SERIOUSLY? A conservative is gonna whine about p00p and penis jokes in Family Guy? And South Park… uh, just ignore that?

He managed to mention Fox once.

Bozell: cunt.

He managed to mention Fox once.

That’s where all Seth’s shit is, no?
.

Bozell: cunt.

He has neither the warmth nor the depth.

Why can’t we go back to the days when we could look up to upstanding Christian moral exemplars like the Rat Pack?

Yeah, right? A never-ending stream of substance abuse and sexual harassment innuendoes = good clean fun

I’m not knocking folks’ taste in humor or entertainment, but if bozell has a problem with immature fascination with bodily functions, he needs to admit he has a problem with American popular culture in general, not with a scapegoated strawman.

MacFarlane has been tapped for the Oscars? Good on ‘im.

(Co-inka-dinky, I happen to know a guy who teaches at RISD and claims to be the inspiration for Brian the dog. True? Well, it’s my brush with greatness, so I’m believing him.)

I’ll bet Larry the cable guy….wait, no he wouldn’t. Bozell should probably just stick with the Disney channel. At least they limit it pretty 16 yar old girls running around in bikinis. No penis or poop jokes-as far as I know.

the only good [Jerry Lewis] produced was inspiring a perfect Animaniacs ep

Was that the one about the clown trying to entertain Wakko on his birthday? Effing hilarious, for sure.

Here’s that clown cartoon, for any interested: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3Qy4K5zYKk

John Entwistle used to tour with his own band when the Who weren’t working.

He once commented, “I only like heavy metal music when it’s me that’s playing it. I suppose it’s a bit like smelling your own farts”.

Now if Bozell had dissed MacFarlane because “Family Guy” isn’t funny, I might have some sympathy.

The Jerry Lewis character (usually referred to as “Mr. Director”) was also used here and here. He was in a few more, but not in a central role. He was voiced by Paul Rugg, who wrote the episodes – and voiced Freakazoid (as well as being its head writer).

I should say I enjoyed a few Jerry Lewis movies, particularly those directed by Frank Tashlin (a great Looney Tunes director who graduated to live-action).

Anyway, on the subject of the post, I can’t bring myself to read the article, but does it make mention of Family Guy’s frequent racism and rape jokes*? I strongly doubt it. The poop jokes are the only offensive thing there.

*Not saying there’s no way to make rape jokes funny, but “Ha ha! a rape is happening!” is not one of them. There should be an actual, you know, joke there at the very least.

“Call Dr. Zaius! One of the humans has escaped and is disguised as an orangutan!”

“I needed a drink, I needed a lot of life insurance, I needed a vacation, I needed a home in the country. What I had was a coat, a hat and a gun. I put them on and …”

Now if Bozell had dissed MacFarlane because “Family Guy” isn’t funny, I might have some sympathy.

That would truly be reaching across the aisle, but it almost never happens that way. I remember having a conversation with my brother in the 90s where we were both criticizing Bill Clinton and suddenly realizing that our disdain was coming from opposite ends of the political spectrum and he had absolutely clue where I was coming from.

“absolutely NO clue”…grrrrr

The best Andy Williams tribute yet.

Wow. Nina’s done it again. Closer to home this time.

So this guy goes to see his doctor, says “Doc, I’ve got terrible gas. Fortunately no one hears it or smells it when I let it out, but the pains in my stomach are awful”. Doc says, “Fill this prescription and come back in ten days.”

Ten days later, guy comes back, says “Doc, I don’t know what you gave me, but it didn’t work. I still have terrible gas. Fortunately it still doesn’t make noise, but now it stinks!”. Doc says, “OK, now that your sinuses are clear, we can get to work on the hearing problem.”

There, see, you can make clean fart jokes.

If Bozell & all the Puritans & Comstockians before him hadn’t repressed the living fuck out of this nation’s culture & entertainment w/ their holier-than-thou bullshit for hundreds of yrs. we’d probably already have outgrown fart jokes.

And This Great Nation of Ours™ might be a less tight-assed, screwed-up, violent lynching shithole, instead of a nation that’s exceptional only in sexual repression & the amount of violence it commits against its own citizens & any other people it gets in its cross-hairs.

You sick, sick fucks.

Well-played, boconn13, there can be but one response:

Down these mean streets a man must go who is not himself mean, who is neither tarnished nor afraid. The detective must be a complete man and a common man and yet an unusual man. He must be, to use a rather weathered phrase, a man of honor. He talks as the man of his age talks, that is, with rude wit, a lively sense of the grotesque, a disgust for sham, and a contempt for pettiness.

Now if Bozell had dissed MacFarlane because “Family Guy” isn’t funny, I might have some sympathy.

I’d be surprised if Bozell found anything funny at all, at least anything I’d recognize as humorous. Of course, he might very well get giggly at the thought of reviving the Holy Office of the Inquisition.

Much new comedy IS lame, but not because of P00P or P3N1S – it’s because it’s leaning on profanity or shock value to make up for a lack of actual funny … or worst of all, it’s just recycled. Unoriginal yucks do not good boffo make.

You know what’s REALLY hilarious?
Impending death*!
_________________________________
*When it isn’t mine.

Barack Obama’s Kobold Warrior Pasta

Ingredients:
1 pint kobold warrior
2 jars berry
1 stick tofu, buttered
6 cups zombie white dragon lung, militantly stretched
1 pound flour
1 jar basil

Pre-heat your oven to 48 Farenheit. Pick over the ingredients and discard excess leather. Place the kobold warrior into a medium wok. Mash the berry with the tofu over low heat in a cup. Sprinkle resulting goo over the kobold warrior. Find some Goldschlager and drink it. Saute – very temperately – the zombie white dragon lung, flour, and the basil. Knead everything together. Fry in ray oil for 63 hours. Serves 2.

You guys don’t think Family Guy is funny? You’re weird.

Just don’t watch the Oscars, Bozell & co. I don’t. I’m not even sure why not. Oh, I’ve been known to critique things. Family Guy is crass, but I still watch it sometimes. Did the wife and I cancel cable several years back because of money, or because of the shows? –We have the money now, but still no cable; your answer, however, is who gives a shit. The culture war and its many tedious consumerist fronts are the stinky farts in the room.

Here’s a hint, culture warriors: the key is to make stuff. Your team has to make stuff that stimulates people. That’s the real war, and you’re losing to McFarlane.

Barack Obama’s Kobold Warrior Pasta

This reminds me of the new Hackmaster RPG Hacklopedia of Beasts. It’s the best monster book I’ve yet seen for these pen-and-paper games. Every entry, for example, tells you whether the thing is edible, and which body parts are useful for trophies, potions, spell components, etc. (Most humanoids are edible, but the text notes cultural taboos.)

I really think the people at Kenzer & Co. are knocking it out of the park with their new edition, but of course this is a losing battle in a video-game age.

I got the creature list together from some excel files at a site cataloguing every D&D monster they could. Lists of stuff are good JanusNode food.

Kenzer and Co have always made some of the best fantasy RPG sourcebooks, partly because they don’t take themselves too seriously… but primarily because they remain connected to their fans, and haven’t sold out.

As one who was never happy with anything published by TSR after it was bought by WotC, I’m really happy K&C is still going strong.

eighty-first!

Another Z virus outbreak? Naked Alabama student pounds on police station door. Hero police save campus, if not the Mobile metropolitan area from Z virus, for now, by shooting the naked student. The comments in the local papers seem to be running 3/1 in favor of increasing the firepower of the campus police. What if they have to deal with a full-scale outbreak?

http://blog.al.com/live/2012/10/university_of_south_alabama_of_1.html

Also, ahem, the Alabama Teabagger story, illustrated:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2212499/Alabama-Teabagger-rubbed-genitals-face-LSU-fan-spend-years-prison-pleading-guilty-obscenity.html

Also, too, rape can be funny!

House of Yes proved a lot of things could be funny, if you have Parker Posey. And that’s all I gotta say about that.

(Spell Check considers “gotta” a word now? Yeesh).

Et tu, cultural taboo?
~

Also, ahem, the Alabama Teabagger story, illustrated

Football does strange things to people.

Apparently Bozo has never seen – or even heard of – Johnny Carson’s 13 years of doing stand-up engagements in Vegas (1967-80). According to entertainers who knew him, he could work blue with the best of them.

Rock Me Jerry Lewis!

MacFarlane used to be the highest-paid sleazeball in television. He is now the King of Hollywood.

Hollywood, bow to your king. And pick up your pukesicle and lick, lick, lick. You deserve each other.

no, brent, you big whinebaby…YOU pick up your pukesicle since you are the one who named macfarlane ‘king’ of hollywood…i know macfarlane is the bee’s knees at the mo (and hawt in a strange way) but ‘king of hollywood?’ doubtful…so i kagoozled it and no, it does not appear that mr. macfarlane is, indeed, the king of hollywood…

You guys don’t think Family Guy is funny? You’re weird.

I think Family Guy is funny, but I’m still weird.

I think Family Guy is funny, but I’m still weird.

me too…on both counts…but there is only so much i can watch at one time before i’m overloaded with crudity…

the Alabama Teabagger story, illustrated

America has descended into the sewer! Back in the old days, when Bob Hope rubbed his genitals in the faces of unconscious LSU fans, he had the decency to do it off-camera.

i’m overloaded with crudity…

Yes, vegetables sometimes make me gassy too.

Seth hasn’t been funny in years, if ever.
Bozell is a nutcase and his complaints are stupid and infantile; much like Seth’s boring copy-paste jokes.

And pick up your pukesicle and lick, lick, lick. You deserve each other.

CLASSY. Seriously, who feigns indignation at “pukesicle” and then uses it himself?

I also don’t think Family Guy is funny. Mostly because I don’t find an incessant string of one-liners and cultural references a good stand-in for writing an actually funny plot line/script. Look at it this way – Seinfeld created cultural references. Family Guy merely picks them up and inserts them so no one will have to actually write their own funny material.

i find it funny mostly on a ‘easily amused my brain is fried and i am in need of cheap, easy laffs for a bit’ sort of way…like when after reading some seriously good novels i sometimes give my brain cells a break by reading a couple of really tripey books…

Seriously, who feigns indignation at “pukesicle” and then uses it himself?

But Bozell uses ‘pukesicle’ in a tasteful, decent, respectful, civil, classy, refined, culturally advanced, non-gutteristic way so it’s spiritually uplifting and absolutely not crude or disgusting.

Also, Bozell is outraged that MacFarlane told a penis joke about Obama. In the comments section two of Bozell’s fans tell penis jokes about Obama, but again that’s totally and completely different from MacFarlane telling a penis joke about Obama for reasons that are simply beyond the moral grasp of sewer-dwelling leftish vulgarians like ourselves.

Also, Bozell is outraged that MacFarlane told a penis joke about Obama. In the comments section two of Bozell’s fans tell penis jokes about Obama, but again that’s totally and completely different from MacFarlane telling a penis joke about Obama for reasons that are simply beyond the moral grasp of sewer-dwelling leftish vulgarians like ourselves.

the big difference is because macfarlane did it in a public venue and over the teevees…as we all know, conservatives can be icky and gross, just not in public…also, too…many of his commentors were all ‘oh yay! aren’t we glad we have these internets to get our news from so we don’t have to watch the scaryevilawful liberals on teevee?!?!’ which really means, yes, i look at internet porn, but only get ‘news’ or information i need from the wingnut blogosphere…

I got the creature list together from some excel files at a site cataloguing every D&D monster they could. Lists of stuff are good JanusNode food.

The Monster Manual is NOT A COOKBOOK!!!

I also don’t think Family Guy is funny. Mostly because I don’t find an incessant string of one-liners and cultural references a good stand-in for writing an actually funny plot line/script. Look at it this way – Seinfeld created cultural references. Family Guy merely picks them up and inserts them so no one will have to actually write their own funny material.

Done sparingly, it’s a good technique, but I’ve found that Family Guy does it to the point of incoherence. I like non sequiturs as much as anyone, but something entirely composed of non sequiturs loses its appeal to me.

gah…i am going through pastry/fluffy coffee concoction withdrawal! hubbkf did super good at his art exhibition over the weekend…however, our site was in the local coffee house…and all her food is home made…omg, i didn’t dare check my sugarss over the weekend because that woman can bake and i am weak willed…my brane does not werk real gud today…

Fluffy coffee concoction? Some sort of chamoiscafe?

I also don’t think Family Guy is funny. Mostly because I don’t find an incessant string of one-liners and cultural references a good stand-in for writing an actually funny plot line/script. Look at it this way – Seinfeld created cultural references. Family Guy merely picks them up and inserts them so no one will have to actually write their own funny material.

That was why I initially hated it. It was put together like something that was desperately trying, not to mention lifting jokes from a certain other cartoon show featuring a dumb dad on the same network in nearly the same time slot.

It’s calmed down and is funnier now, but it’s only TV.

something entirely composed of non sequiturs loses its appeal to me.

Perhaps surrealism isn’t your cup of fur.

Well I think Family Guy is fucking awesome. I watch it every time I see it on. I didn’t get it at first, but I stuck with it for about 4 episodes and got hopelessly addicted. I don’t care about intelligent or even original humor. If it makes me laugh, I like it.

Well I think Family Guy is fucking awesome. I watch it every time I see it on. I didn’t get it at first, but I stuck with it for about 4 episodes and got hopelessly addicted. I don’t care about intelligent or even original humor. If it makes me laugh, I like it.

surprisingly, hubbkf is the one who got me watching it…he does have a sense of humor, but isn’t really up on cultural references, so i usually have to interpret for him…and he usually isn’t one for just sitting down and watching a show…unless it’s on the weather, military, history, natgeo or outdoor channels…HE IS NOT A TIME WASTREL like his wife…but he does tend to laff at juvenile and/or potty humor…brent bozell would not like hubbkf…

but he does tend to laff at juvenile and/or potty humor…

Guy thing? Like being able to tolerate the 3 Stooges?

Mostly because I don’t find an incessant string of one-liners and cultural references a good stand-in for writing an actually funny plot line/script.

That’s not even my problem with it. Freakazoid!, which I am on record as loving to death, is basically nothing but non sequiturs and random pop-culture references, and that elevates it to an art form. I think my problem with Family Guy is that it just seems so lazy and obvious. Also, the racism, sexism, and rape jokes.

If I had to guess, I would think that FG’s audience is primarily men, more specifically men who are pretty easy to entertain. I do like shiny stuff and boobs and ridiculous cartoons.

Guy thing? Like being able to tolerate the 3 Stooges?

pretty much…he also thinks his farts are funneh and has been known to dutch oven…and he’s 52 for dog’s sake!

Also, the racism, sexism, and rape jokes.

yeah, it does hurl itself over the line probably a bit too often and that’s usually what gets me off it when i go on a watching binge…

So basically it’s a “SIMPSON DID IT 1ST” argument except they don’t really like the Simpsons anymore because they dared to mock Fox News?

I do like shiny stuff and boobs and ridiculous cartoons.

boy am i glad i’ve kept up with polishing these bad girls!

Never seen that Family Guy show. Nope, not going to find and watch it either. I am happy to remain il-pop-culturate. Insistent on it, even.

Benny turned and said, “you know, kid, sometimes you just wanna tell ‘em to go fuck themselves

Somehow I can actually hear Benny saying this in my mind.

My wife and I both like Family Guy.

First butt-chugging, then butt-fagging.

I do like shiny stuff and boobs and ridiculous cartoons.
Offering to apply a coat of polish is not always well-accepted, however. So I hear.

First butt-chugging, then butt-fagging.

i’m not so sure it was tobacco’s stimulating properties that would first revive someone…i’m guessing having a bellows shoved up your ass would be stimulant enough…also, too…ewwww, i hope they didn’t try the ass first then the lungs…

First butt-chugging, then butt-fagging.

Bellows? I’m pretty sure if you’re smoking with your butt, you’re doing it wrong. You pump air up there, it comes back out–intuitively I would think with a rapid clapping sound. Smoke stinks, but poopy smoke has got to be REALLY stinky.

My wife and I both like Family Guy.

My teenage daughters watch Family Guy incessantly. It’s one of our family activities, despite it being uncomfortable on occasion.

My teenage daughters watch Family Guy incessantly. It’s one of our family activities, despite it being uncomfortable on occasion.

ha…yeah…we watched all sorts of ‘inappropriate’ things with our son…of course, there are some things you have to draw the line at, but hey…

Hockupy San Francisco

Waaaay back when Dennis Miller was occasionally humorous, he told this –

Q: Why do kids think farts are funny?

A: Because farts *are* funny!

I’m in solidarity with Pupmax on this one. Might have a lifetime total of 5 minutes of FG because a banjo player I sometimes play with is a fan. Wake me when we’re back to varieties of bacon.

H8RS gonna H8

Mmmmmmmm, bacon. I snagged me some Tails and Trotters hazelnut finished, applewood smoked bacon at the marmers farket. Its very, very good but I have to say that I don’t think I’ll buy it often. Curing and smoking isn’t the way to appreciate the flavor of the meat. Their prosciutto, otoh, is spectacular. I still long for Iberico ham (black leg, of course) but the pangs are eased by noshing on T&T prosciutto.

And yes, I know Iberico is now available in the US but it’s too damn expensive. The Iberico belotta (the best) is about $200 / pound. Two ounces – a generous serving – is $40.

A: Because farts *are* funny!

As I explained to my son when he was three, “Farts are jokes that come out of your butt.”

(My mistake: now that he’s eight, his response to everything I say is to point his butt at me and make farty sounds with his mouth.)

In the southeast they’re making noise about Ossabaw hogs and how they’re descended from conquistador hogs and eat acorns so one should be able to make Iberico from them. There’s a guy my age up in tidewater VA from a country ham family that’s making some that I hear is creditable but I haven’t tasted it myself. I’m having so much fun with guanciale and pancetta (latest experiment is coppa) that I’m in no hurry to turn my aging chamber into a Museo del Jamon but it will happen eventually.

I snagged me some Tails and Trotters hazelnut finished, applewood smoked bacon at the marmers farket. Its very, very good but I have to say that I don’t think I’ll buy it often

The real question is, did you snag some tails and trotters to make patitas con garbanzos?

“Waaaay back when Dennis Miller was occasionally humorous”

So, never?

And yes, I know Iberico is now available in the US but it’s too damn expensive.

Mrs. Kong usually gets me some for Christmas.

…hazelnut finished, applewood smoked…

I dunno, Brent tastes about the same smoked or not.

The real question is, did you snag some tails and trotters to make patitas con garbanzos?

The real answer is, no. But I don’t rule it out for the future. The only thing I’ve ever used trotters for, I think, is tripe. Tripe a la mode is yummy.

I once got the trots from trotters. I have, however, never gotten steamed about steamers.

I will admit to having gotten baked with bakers.

I wanted to get drunk but no one would drink me.

I’ve gotten shit-faced with shit-heads.

Shorter Eric Son Of Eric: Credit-Card Fraud* in the name of liberty is no vice – my lawyer said so!

_____________________________________
* h/t Wonkette

Come to think of it, I believe I’ve gotten totaled with teetotalers, but I never got hammered with hammerheads, nor would I want to be.

Have been plastered with plasterers.

I never got hammered with hammerheads, nor would I want to be.

I’ve gotten hammered while throwing hammerheads.
.

Food pr0n

Seinfeld created cultural references.

Thought that was Dennis Miller’s shtick, way back in pre-wingnut days.

I’ve been wasted with wastes of sperm.

I’ve been wasted with wastes of sperm.

That’s special.
.

A careful analysis of the photo above (and the kerning of his fonts) suggests the true origin of Bozell’s glossolalia might be the fly agaric beneath his flapping buttcheeks.

I confess to having frequently become pissed at pissants.

I’ve macked on mackerels while being tanked on a tanker.

I’ve macked on mackerels while being tanked on a tanker.

I don’t believe that for a minute. Not even a New York minute.
.

Would you believe I’ve fried fryers with fried friars?

Would you believe I’ve fried fryers with fried friars?

Pffft — sh’yeah! Who hasn’t?
.

Made mead to meet maids?

I eat what I can and what I can’t I can.

I eat what I can and what I can’t I can.

“I see,” said the blind carpenter, as he picked up his hammer and saw.
.

I once puked a peck of pickled peppers. The difficult part was getting the peppers drunk, as they are, under ordinary circumstances, abstemious fellows.

I daresay we all have at one time or another been subjected to subjects.

N__B, that’s the very reason I never drink pepper vodka, or any combination of capsaicin and ethanol.

Puking a pint of pickled pepper is particularly painful.

Better to puke a peck of pickled peppers than to poke your prick in a papal pooper.

Better to puke a peck of pickled peppers than to poke your prick in a papal pooper.

If he’s a pickled pedophile, a prick and a poke in the pooper with a poker is prescribed.

Oh, see now… it’s just gone all silly in here. Not a single useful foreign policy pointer for the POTUS to be seen!
.

Not a single useful foreign policy pointer for the POTUS

I dunno, that point about the papal pooper is particularly promising.

Avoiding entanglements with papal poopers has been a consistent element in American foreign policy since George Washington’s day.

Foreign policy fares poorly and fails purely when faced passively by farcical pundits.

Such as ourselves.

I long for the good old days of flatulence, impotence, and deflowering jokes in Shakespeare.

“By my life, this is my lady’s hand these be her very C’s, her U’s and her T’s and thus makes she her great P’s. It is, in contempt of question, her hand.”

Since The Bard didn’t put an “N” in the proper place, we can feel confident our modern blue-noses will miss the joke completely. (Then again, they may well think that Angelo is the true and righteous hero of ‘Measure for Measure”, given how faithfully our modern right-wing moralizing blowhard politicians have followed his example.)

Enraged Bull Limpet still sees few reasons to not be enraged.

–Just checking in, howdy-bye-for-now.

I see David Brooks is now writing a humour column.

Steve Martin – Home crafts expert!

I see David Brooks is now writing a humour column.

But I’d like to make a case for that plan. It’s the best thing the Romney-Ryan campaign has going for it.

Shit ain’t funny, bro–expect in an inaccessibly dark humor sort of way.

All the R/R campaign truly has going for it is the intractible stupidity of underclass whites and voters who are so oblivious to the world that they actually pay attention to anything said in those theater debates.

Subeirp Ecnier

Heh, my spellchecker says that I spelled Subeirp correctly but I got Ecnier wrong. It also says I misspelled heh.

A Møøse once bit my sister

A Møøse once bit my sister

my brother once bit my beaver…

Do tell…

“Waaaay back when Dennis Miller was occasionally humorous”

So, never?

If he had taken my advice and offered to play Shipwreck in the live G.I. Joe movie, his career would have been resurrected.

Do tell…

one year for halloween i dressed up as june cleaver and pinned a toy stuffed beaver to the shoulder of my cardigan…

Dear Penthouse Forum:

I never thought it would happen to me but I was disappointed.

Dear Penthouse Forum:

I never thought it would happen to me…

and it turns out I was right!

And whitey’s on the moon.

Dennis Miller really hit his stride in Bordello of Blood, which I stuck with only because b00bs.

Do tell…

one year for halloween i dressed up as june cleaver and pinned a toy stuffed beaver to the shoulder of my cardigan…

I think I know where this is going.

Mmmmmmmm, bacon. I snagged me some Tails and Trotters hazelnut finished, applewood smoked bacon at the marmers farket. Its very, very good but I have to say that I don’t think I’ll buy it often. Curing and smoking isn’t the way to appreciate the flavor of the meat. Their prosciutto, otoh, is spectacular. I still long for Iberico ham (black leg, of course) but the pangs are eased by noshing on T&T prosciutto.

I was up in your neck-of-the-woods yesterday for a meeting and went to this place for lunch. I had some meat, with a side of meat, more meat, and then meat for dessert. It was pretty damn yummers, but I don’t have much to compare it to. We don’t have a similar spot like it down here in the boonies.

Hmm, and now that I think about it I guess I’ve…

Pointedly partaken of a plethora of porcine provisions with portly professionals.

Geez, can’t a guy get a “NEW THREAD!” around here? Sheesh.

This is not the year, the year that Streep won for Iron Lady, that was the year.

There needed to be someone on stage with a large, loud whoopie cushion making fart noises whenever she tried to make her acceptance speech.

In fact any time Margaret Thatcher tries to make a speech, that same guy needs to be on stage with her. And when she dies, there needs to be a button to push on her tombstone.

Bozell’s mention of the late, hopefully rotten Bob Hope caught my attention. My late father, who fought in WWII (Pacific Theatre) was generally loath to speak ill of anyone, besides the Japanese soldier who shot him in the chest in 1944. He made an exception for Bob Hope. He would hope, openly, to see ‘that Limey bastard’ in his grave before he died. Alas, it was not to be.

Johnny Carson’s offenses against decency are already well-documented. Bob Hope’s offenses – well, at the very least, my dear Dad would have liked to see him lynched just for the USO shows.

one year for halloween i dressed up as june cleaver and pinned a toy stuffed beaver to the shoulder of my cardigan.

Well, Jesus; haven’t we all?

I enlarged my penis 6 inches almost instantly using this method http://youtu.be/o0BIKLke7W0