Bill Nye the Satanist Guy
Picture shamefully stolen from a terribly designed website.
Terry L. Mirll, American Genius:
Bill Nye the Pseudoscience Guy
Hey, remember Bill Nye the Science Guy?
Of course you do. Half of you have his theme song stuck in your head right now. Bill Nye is the freaking Mr. Rogers of the science edutainment world.
But that’s just how he sucks you into his dark web of lies and Satanic corruption. For Bill Nye, once beloved childhood icon… I can’t even say it… he supports… he supports well established scientific theories that are central to entire disciplines of scientific inquiry.
Cue the howl of the righteous:
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- Science is a lie and Bill Nye is the devil!
For on this dark dark day, mighty Bill Nye has fallen under the Satanic spell of:
EVILUTION
…dun dun dun!
Roll the list of sins so we may be suitably aghast!
In a recent YouTube video, former children’s TV host Bill Nye weighs in on evolutionary biology by telling the rest of us how to raise our children.
Telling parents how to raise their children? How unseemly. Doesn’t he understand that children are the possession of their parents to be modeled into proper carbon copies of their parents’ ignorances and fears?!?
If we want to deny evolution, he says, that’s our business, “but don’t make your kids do it.”
That scoundrel, trying to promote basic biological literacy, especially as biological science becomes more and more important as we drift into the 21st century. If it is the parent’s choice that an entire academic discipline be blocked off from their children and all children who go to the same school as them, that is their right as proper conservative God-Kings!
And we don’t need no wacky liberal agitator stirring up trouble where he doesn’t belong.
Presuming that what we teach our children is any of his business, a more fundamental question presents itself: how do we presume to teach our kids something that may or may not be true, particularly when we don’t really seem to understand it?
I know. Asking proud conservative intellectuals to explain things like basic biology, how sex organs work, or how to get hand out of pickle jar BECAUSE IZ IMPOSSIBLE is… Satanism. Do you want conservatives to look like dumbasses to their kids just because they deliberately live in ignorance?
What’s that? He doesn’t? He’s actually just asking bigoted ignorant parents to stop standing in the way of teachers as teachers do the job of explaining these concepts? And admitting this early on that I’m a giant ignorant fuck who can’t even be bothered to fucking google the basic facts of evolution might hurt my case later on when I pretend to be intellectual?
You know what I’m hearing, magic whisper voice I don’t bother transcribing?
Hail Satan. And homey don’t play with no dark world when it’s so important that I keep Huck Finn ignorant so’s he don’t get no fancy ideas about being better than his ol’ man. I ain’t need no 4th grade, so he ain’t need it neithers.
There is a tendency in the economy of belief to oversimplify. Generally speaking, this is a good thing — or if not good, at least practical. One hardly needs to understand how an internal combustion engine works in order to drive a car.
Okay, time out from the shtick, but this needs some serious claw-hammering.
Yes, it’s perfectly true that people may be as parasites, taking from the devices, machines, and technologies of science without bothering to understand the mechanics on even a superficial level. Hell, you can even openly disbelieve in the mechanics if you want. It’s quite possible for one to operate their vehicle every day thinking that it runs on magical faerie dust.
But see, here’s the issue. Someone needs to know how it really works. And what we’ve been getting lately is the car faerie believers demanding that no one learn to be a mechanic because such people are crushing the little faeries that make things run. And no, you need the person with the wrench to make things better when your regular little Earth car inevitably breaks the fuck down.
To be a parasite who refuses to believe that the way things work is the way things work, you need a robust system of people who understand how it actually works. And that system needs young intelligent minds to replace those lost to the shuffle and jive of the mortal coil.
Hence why a freaking children’s edutainer called out you fuckers in the first place and got “all up in yo bizness” about your children.
However, oversimplification is anathema to maintaining a robust and rigorous science. As Einstein famously put it, make it simple, but not simpler. He meant that any theory, if it is to be a scientific one, needs to be reduced to its fundamental elements, without omitting any elements necessary to make the theory workable.
Oh, this is going to be delicious*.
Our admitted ignoramous wants to play at being a SRS BSNS intellectual and weigh in on this scienc-ametic that all the kids are babbling bout.
Yeah… I need some popcorn for this.
In Nye’s mindset, there are two basic positions concerning evolution: 1. You believe in it, or 2. You’re just a big fat doody-head.
Ah yes, the “doody-head” conjecture. First put forth by Alfred P. Doody the head scienamatist at the Science College for Sciences as a correlary to the already popular “I know you are, but what am I” hypothesis.
This, I would argue, is an oversimplification.
NOOOOOOOOO! Really?
The pig-ignorant straw-man you created of a children’s edutainer giving a 3 minute talk about something that concerns you is an oversimplification?
Next you’re going to tell me the Earth revolves around the sun or that the Earth was not originally suspended in the air by a magic water vapor canopy.
What is most remarkable is that Nye is hardly alone in his asseveration.
… Oh. You actually meant that the pathetic and childish straw-man you put in his mouth was an oversimplification, because apparently you believe that intellectual contests should be rigged as much as a child’s tee-ball game.
Well, you’ve set yourself an easy swing, let’s see if you can avoid hitting yourself in the nuts with it.
In fact, the vast majority of people — among those who believe in evolution wholeheartedly, as well as those who see evolution as just so much nonsense — seem to hold the same view. Either we believe in evolution, or we believe in God.
And right in the ball sac.
Even with reducing your opponent that much, even by just de facto ignoring over a hundred years of careful observation and demonstration and reducing evolution into just another rival religion, you can’t help failing yourself into a crumpled heap on the ground.
So, the proponents of Evilution, the Satanist alternative to God’s biggest sin is… being you. Assuming that either evolution is true or God is a non-existent entity made up by overcompensating sheep-farmers and thus the other must die?
Cause yeah, I think even the atheist biologists weren’t really big on drowning religion in the bathtub before you fuckers declared it was them or you.
Unfortunately, however, those who hold this view fail to understand what it implies about science and religion, setting up what philosophers of science call the Conflict Thesis — that science and religion are mutually exclusive domains (that is, with no overlap) and are thus at odds with each other. But the Conflict Thesis is incorrect, offering up a false choice: science or religion.
Yeah, funny thing about arguing that the way the world actually works is a “rival religion that our religion categorically rejects”. It makes your religion demonstrably incorrect.
You don’t need to parse the sound of one celestial body raping a virgin honey to debunk the religion’s claim to explain the universe, you only need to listen to their words where they say “no, this widely proved explanation of how the world works must be wrong or our religion is wrong”. You could have let go those pieces and acknowledge them as unnecessary, but then, those pieces matter more than all the supposed interest in Gods and Devils and Holy Books.
It is more important to you that humans be special, be separate from the natural world, be specially chosen God-vessels, His most favored child, than it is to live in a world with a guiding set of spiritual principles or a particular deity.
And sorry, Terry, but we ain’t shit, biologically speaking and sooner or later you’re going to have to deal with that or Mother Nature is going to demonstrate it for us with some ugly ugly dieback.
What, then, are we to make of Stephen C. Meyer’s claim that “[s]cience, done right, leads to God”?
That he is a quack idiot who sold the tattered remains of his training and reputation to work for the anti-science Discovery Institute whose one and only job is to poorly ape science so as to pretend “God did it” is a credible scientific theory deserving of equal or greater time in high school biology textbooks than how reality actually works?
Additionally, this already overly simplistic notion is further exacerbated by another oversimplification
He’s still using unnecessary “smartisms” so I think that’s our cue to get a refill on the popcorn.
— that science is a rational proposition based on reason, while religion is a spiritual proposition based on faith. Thus, scientific formulations are reliable, based as they are on the Scientific Method of observation, hypothesis, theorization, testing, and reformulation; religion, in contrast, is antithetical to the Scientific Method, akin to fairy tales and superstition.
(Whistle impressively) That there is a mighty fine hole you done dug yourself into, pardner. Gonna take some clever uses of a backhoe to get yourself out.
Framed in this way, we can understand the essence of Nye’s concern
No? Going to dig even deeper? Okay, pardner, you know what you’re doing.
for what we teach our children: assuming that evolution is scientific, for any parent to teach his child to deny evolution is thus to teach him to deny reason.
Hey, can anyone remind me what this IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION light means and why it produces such horrifying shrieks when it’s overheating?**
And Nye would be right but for the inconvenient fact that he is wholly and utterly wrong, in his basic assumptions as well as his understanding of evolution.
Well, yes, you see, I am using the smart person voice therefore it must be the case that the science educator with an established knowledge of biological tenets is a dumb stupidhead who makes dumb stupidhead arguments, where I, the person who fell into a panic attack at the notion of broaching a subject so terrifyingly alien to me as evolution, am the only one who knows what it’s all about.
Oh, smart person voice, you protect me from actually having to learn something to pontificate on the internet.
When we examine the underlying assumptions of Nye’s position, we find:
Ooh, good timing, the popcorn just dinged. One sec… okay, ready.
* Science is not “based” on reason,
* Religion is not “based” on faith,
* There’s no such thing as “the” Scientific Method,
* Religion is no fairy tale, and
* Evolution is not what Nye thinks it is.
Delicious. I think he managed to pickaxe his way into the Mines of Moria with that attempted straw-man construction.
But Terry, you forgot important add-ons like: People who believe in science are Satanist cow-fuckers and Reality does too work by wishing really hard and clapping so Tinkerbell comes back to life, damnitt!
First, though reason is certainly a component of scientific inquiry, it is not the only component.
Oh my Bob, is he going to try and eviscerate his sad attempt at a straw-man? Oh this is going to be more embarrassingly hilarious than I thought.
There are, for instance, any number of scientific assumptions that cannot be proved and thus must be accepted on faith.
Aww, outside reading? Boo! Zero stars.
Fine, let’s take a look.
…
I… what the hell… was that? I’ll try and summarize. It’s a wingnut Evangelical “Science is evil” list that tries to explain why Science is made up of evil assumptions that are all false, so God did it by default. As you would expect by the site’s knowledge of web-design and love affair with EVERYTHING BEING CAPITALIZED, BECAUSE INTERNET SHOUTING MAKES YOU IMPORTANT AND CORRECT, it knows about as much about science than my cat does about synchronized swimming. Here’s a complimentary shorter.
Shorter List of Ten Assumptions that Science Makes malarky:
- 1. We don’t understand what a physical law is, but we think misunderstanding quantum theory leaves a God sized gap.
2. Math is Satanism and false because numbers are for fags and since Science is based on Math and uses Math to model patterns and laws, Science must be wrong.
3. Science uses labs to approximate things that happen in nature. I’ve never heard of a field scientist, therefore, they only ever use labs to approximate real world conditions and therefore everything science produces is wrong because REAL WORLD IZ DIFFERENT.
4. Physics is Lies because we can’t use the simple clean formulas when we’re dealing with the interaction of thousands of various forces working against each other. Even though the reason we know this is because of scientific fiddling to make the models more and more accurate to the real world even in conditions we wouldn’t easily encounter on Earth.
5. Science changes and amends its findings with new evidence. Therefore it’s all bullshit, because making your theories about reality better fit the way the world works with new evidence is what fags do. Real men believe in demonstrably wrong dogma because it’s rock solid, much like our heads.
6. Piecing together the parts of a whole to understand it better is evil because of its dangerous communist subversion. The only true creator of knowledge is top-down hierarchies.
7. Science believes that there is something known as “reality” that can be “studied” and thus “understood”. Pfft, idiots.
8. Science never changes its findings to fit with new evidence because science never admits when its wrong. What’s that, you remember when we said the exact opposite back in point 5? Also this is even more IT’S ALWAYS PROEJCTION than all the other points? Look over there, a distraction! (smokebomb)
9-10. We only had 8 pieces of bullshit in us so let’s just be honest and admit the real reason we hate science. It’s trying to understand the universe and it’s making our bullshit look like the ignorant horseshit it is.
So yeah. That happened.
First and foremost among these is the assumption of uniformity — that what applies to our corner of the universe applies to all corners. (This, after all, is what makes a universe a universe and not, say, a polyverse.) Imagine the caterwauling among physicists if we discover that light travels at a uniform speed within the confines of the Milky Way, but at a variable speed in the galaxy Andromeda.
I really wonder what these idiots will use for cover for their interpretation of a God when they can no longer rely on painfully terrible misunderstandings of astrophysics and quantum theory.
Also, I guess we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION, but it’s always slightly amusing that not a single one of these idiots can avoid circling back to assuming that science, the thing they hate because of its adaptive, inquisitive nature, is just them, but evil.
Of course, science is a top-down factory of conformity that shivers in the night in fear of some evidence that could bring it all toppling down, because otherwise I’ll have to admit the existence of something that isn’t that. And if I do that, I might have to admit its got a better record proving how the universe works than my method. And I’ll die before that happens.
I can tell you exactly how physicists would react if they found out that light speed was variable. Fuck, I can tell you how they would act if Evangelical God personally came down and went, yup, it’s all me.
They’d be ecstatic. They’d be lining up around the block to try and figure out God’s math and crib off his notes.
Just because wingnuts fear reality explaining shit doesn’t mean scientists fear a mystery. A mystery is something new, something that someone else hasn’t already figured out. Give a scientist a mystery and they see something worthy of devoting their entire life to figuring out and understanding.
And frankly, it’s sad that wingnuts choose to lock themselves, their children, and the children who go to the same schools as their children away from that life. Because there is nothing more interesting than learning a new thing and then having that open new and exciting questions, each one a worthy option for a life-long obsession that adds one more item to the “things we know for sure” column.
But hey, now that Tyler’s finished bashing science as totally a rival religion for dumb people because… reasons that were totally like proving something for reals yo, it’s time to say that religion is tote suite real yo, because it’s just like science.
…Wait…
Nor is reason relegated only to science. Religion, too, has its rational component, with pronouncements based on observation and empirical knowledge. The Buddhist considers the Buddha, studies his life, hears his message of compassion and service to others, and makes the rational decision to emulate him. The Christian hears the story of the resurrected Christ, an event that is claimed to have occurred in real time and witnessed by some five hundred, and chooses to follow him. These are not simply matters of faith.
Yeah, it’s completely rational and sciencey, yo. People, like use their brains or being born into a family who follows that religion and like chooses to have faith in a particular deity…
That’s what rational and reason mean right? Also, apparently faith no longer has anything to do with blind following of a deity now that that word has been entirely corrupted by our idiotic assertion that things that are demonstrably wrong must be forced on everyone so I can feel less like a loser for picking a religion that can’t possibly be correct.
Instead of “the” scientific method, we find any number of methodologies that share various features but which cannot be said to demonstrate anything akin to a single, uniform method. Consider, for instance, the notion that science is based on observation. If this is a necessary prerequisite to a scientific theory, what are we to make of the claim that our universe may be only one of a series of universes? Has anyone ever observed one of these extra universes? How can such an observation be possible, even in theory? There is absolutely no evidence whatsoever for the multiverse. And what do we call “the evidence of things not seen”?
I’d like to call this session: What I can imagine scientific inquiry is like doesn’t cotton to what I barely remember from school, therefore, it’s all bullshit made up by Satanists trying to confuzzle us***.’
Those who equate religion with fairy tales fail to understand what the word means. “Religion” comes from the Latin religio, which means “to bind or constrict” and thus entails a twofold meaning. First, it identifies a body of adherents to the religion itself. These need not be adherents of any particular religion; it is sufficient that they identify themselves as members of the group, whatever the group. Second, it is in some way normative; that is, it prescribes what the members of the group ought to believe, though it does not necessarily imply that the members will adhere to their beliefs at all times. In other words, though a Christian will on occasion do things that are demonstrably un-Christian, this does not stop him from being a Christian altogether. Neither aspect of religio has anything to do with fairy tales.
… And again with swinging into your own nuts. I really hope you’re wearing a cup, man, cause I gotta admit that looks painful as FUCK.
So yeah, his defense of why religion is not a fairy tale, which I remind you is his attempt to defeat a straw-man of his own making, is running away from even attempting a lame-ass defense and instead arguing that since the latin root of religion meant something completely different from the english word religion, he wins infinite snob points and is therefore correct about everything.
In short, he got scared of defeating his own straw-man and so had to construct a second straw-man just to defend himself from his own straw-man.
Yeah, if I was actually religious, I think I would hate people like this even more than I tend to do now. I mean, he’s basically going, uh whoops, there really is nothing separating religion from fairy tales, but I’m going to be really smug about it and help make my fellow religious travelers look so ignorant as to be almost pitiable.
There is a certain type of “help” that no one on Earth really wants. This is that “help”.
In fact, Nye’s own understanding of evolution is itself a kind of fairy tale.
Oh hai, IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION. And how’s your sex life, huh? (/Tommy Wiseau)
For him, it is akin to biological magic, to be believed for its own sake. (Woe unto you, ye unbelievers!)
So yes, the most “intellectual” defense of religion that this tool could come up with against a question that was never asked is:
All our sins are yours and all your earned reputation is ours, because it’s opposite day and I say so, NYAH!
Hey, is anyone noticing that this long winded rant about the evils of the religion, Evilution, seems rather parched on the whole “evolution” subject? Have the Young-Earth Creationists officially given up even on their token resistance against this biological reality and officially moved on to misunderstanding quantum theory where the number of people who can reveal how much of a dumbass they are are even less?
Evolution, he says, “is the fundamental idea in all of life science, in all of biology. It’s like, it’s very much analogous to trying to do geology without believing in tectonic plates.”
Actually, it’s like, it’s not like that.
No. No, it’s quite like that. Evolution is fundamental to life sciences and not just on some theoretical “the central tenet of Christianity is the Resurrection” way.
At least 90% of the experiments I did in Molecular Biology labs didn’t just involve evolution being true, but rather required it to be true for the experiments to work at all. There were standard procedures I had to complete where I had to induce evolution or deliberately trigger an evolutionary event overnight just so I could do an experiment with them the next day.
If evolution was false, then every biologist would know damn quick, because frankly, half of their experiments would simply stop working. Period.
But enough about reality, let’s hear from Major Tom here.
For one, geologists operated for centuries without believing in tectonic plates.
Sure, let’s play denialist on tectonic plates as well. Any more you want to add? Say arguing about those evil eggheads who think that the Earth isn’t flat or that the universe doesn’t revolve around us? No? Just checking.
As nifty as plate theory may be, it’s hardly fundamental to the idea of geology
Yeah, no one needs to know about how plates of Earth interact with each other to know about the significance of strata or the way it is lifted and warped in structures such as mountains.
Hey, let’s get rid of them and replace them with some sort of Discovery Institute hackery. I’ll bet the oil companies will just love that.
rather, it’s derived from geology, based on current scientific understanding of the earth’s structure.
NRGAH.
No no, I’m fine, just a little aneurysm due to sheer stupidity.
Okay, Captain Sciencametic, enlighten us, how then did evolution arise if not as a derivation of biology based on current scientific understanding of the way life speciates, mutates, and maintains biodiversity.
Evolution, likewise, is deduced from two primary observations: the fossil record, which, so it is claimed, shows evidence that life represents a continuum of biological forms expressing a progression from the simple to the more complex; and the similarity of hypothetically related species, such as human beings and apes.
And laboratory-reproducible experiments. And the current library of test animal species. And the basic lab procedures of thousands upon thousands of molecular biology experiments performed every day. And the various medicines that would be impossible to produce or would never fail or be adapted against if evolution wasn’t true. And the observations of wildlife fauna including decades-long studies that actually have catalogued naturally-occurring speciation in the wild with no outside intervention. And Mendel’s experiments and every farmer everywhere whose ever realized how to make their tomatoes juicer and their corn stalks taller. And…
Do I really need to go on?
Yeah, with a straw-setup like that, I think I might need to brace myself against the next earthquake of stupid.
But these are mere claims, not scientifically, independently verified facts. The fossil record is stubbornly discontinuous, and human beings ultimately may only look like apes — a 1972 Chevy Malibu looks an awful lot like a 1971 Chevy Malibu, but this does not mean that the ’72 Malibu is biologically descended from the ’71 model.
Oh dear Bob, I’ve gone blind. The sheer pain of reading something that mindlessly stupid and ignorant has actually robbed me of my ability to see****.
Damn you Bill Nye, if only your Satanist ways had been curtailed, we could have been spared this fate!!!
Nye’s position, then, is no acquiescence to scientific truth; it is merely a component of his belief system. He may as well tell us not to raise our kids as Presbyterians.
And Bill Nye the Pseudoscience Guy can keep his beliefs to himself.
Yeah, you take your Satanism Science Religion with you with its “actual acknowledgment of how things work”. Cause… you’re like us, close-minded bitter idiots who wish their children to be shielded from any and all knowledge of the outside world which may make us and our worldviews look dumb to them. And you want to force every child to be like that so you’re no longer tormented in the night by the obvious lie you’ve wasted your one life in service to…
I don’t even know how you can look yourself in the mirror, Bill… knowing all that… WAAAHHHHHH!
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Bill Nye the Science Guy. Bill! Bill! Bill! Ah, memories. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*Also, pointing out here that science isn’t about being complicated just to make it more “elite” and out of the grubby little mitts of reg’lar folk like Terry. A lot of conversations about science can begin at a basic summation of what’s going on. It’s just that basic summation isn’t all of the science. The more you learn and the more you discover, the more nuanced and flavorful the aspect. You want to know about duck peens being corkscrews and soon you’re looking at spaciation of thread and diameter and scaring people at parties with your obsession.
People like Tyler however don’t like that that’s how science works, much because they hate how it explains how the world works and how that differs from “what my daddy dun tol me”. So they need science to be ineffable and unknowable and needlessly complex so that they can respond to the simplification for the purpose of explaining with a bunch of ignorant nit-picking that they think counters everything.
In short, they’re fucking idiots. But fucking idiots that know exactly the type of bad faith they are engaging in.
**I don’t really need to point this out, but Bill Nye’s point, as has been the one by many before him, was not about evangelical’s bizarre belief that reality and reason are somehow rival religions to their dumbassery. But rather that biology is based in evolution. That one cannot teach the one to any meaningful level without explaining how the other works and is. And how a bunch of ignorant hicks declaring that Reason is the Religion of Satanists is helping countries like Denmark, Sweden, Japan, and Germany kick our ass in new research and development, especially when it comes to biological and medical sciences. And that people who claim to care about our economic future, at the least, might want to give half a shit about that.
*** As I’ve stated previously I know jack all about quantum theory so I’m not going to pretend to defend this as an expert. But what I do know is that they aren’t “declaring from on high how the universe works based on empty math conjectures”. There are tests one can run in a lab to demonstrate some of these principles. Some rather elegant tests and some of the math holds up and some doesn’t when this happens. Overall, it seems a lot like the sort of guesswork and theorization that occurred in early Biology. And I suspect like early Biology, a lot will be corrected and edited once we develop the tools necessary to observe more accurately. We learned a lot more about microbiology once we had a microscope, but it didn’t make everything about biology we knew before 100% wrong. Nor did those inaccurate conjectures mean that the scientific method was a complete fraud. In fact those early hypotheses and guesses helped us know what we were looking for when we finally did have the tools.
****Ugh, there’s not a single fucking line of this that isn’t concentrated stupid. And it’s all so much sadder because it is willfully chosen stupid that can’t be bothered to respect its opponent enough to even understand the most basic of facts. Even with his straw-man setup, the conclusions are just… no. The fossil record in reality has less holes than ever before. With some species, you can actually get a fucking slideshow of the evolution process at every phase (see “dinosaurs into birds”). If you flip them all fast like, it’d be a moving picture show.
The whole “human beings only look like apes” is such unbelievable wishful thinking that I don’t know what he thought he was going to “prove” with his whining assertion. As someone who’s actually done bioinformatics work in the past, I can point to reams upon reams of phylogenies that show our similarity to apes on every single level. Skeletal, tissue-based, cell-based, DNA-based, mitochondrial DNA-based. Heck there’s some people looking into similarities based on organelles and micro-RNA. We’ve got everything but a signed note from God saying “Whoops, totally spilled 7-up in the ape petri dish, will redo after vacation.”
And as for the last part… I don’t even want to dignify it with a fucking answer. I’ve seen pig-ignorant attempts to argue the Divine Watchmaker shtick, but they aren’t even trying to be faux-philosophical anymore. Yeah, a 1971 Chevy and a 1972 Chevy have shared characteristics but aren’t created naturally, because WE FUCKING BUILT THEM. We can point out the fucking blueprints and shake the hand of dickwad that made them. That doesn’t mean everything was built by Robot Jesus. Biological evolution is messy, ugly, wasteful, and sometimes a complete and utter fuck-up. It has none of the elegance and well craftsmanship you see in human-created objects. You don’t even need engage in bioengineering or look at the longitudinal studies of natural evolution to see that. You can just look at some of your fellow humans. Like those born with horrifyingly debilitating physical and mental deformities. Or those born with genetic diseases that ensure they won’t live past puberty or even more than a handful of years. If such horrors were the result of an actual designer, there would be no worship of such an amoral, incompetent creature. Any more than anyone praises the engineer behind the Ford Pinto.
It may cause these narcissistic apes mental harm to acknowledge it, but evolution is real. And thanks to them it may very well be the single most proven theory in all of science. Eventually they will have to accept this or we will all drown in their deliberately chosen ignorance.
Oh, hai Bozo!
Evil is cool.
Bow ties are totally not cool.
Nobody who wears a bow tie can be an evil person.
Q. E. 2 tha f’n D.
You can’t spell DeNyele without Bill Nye.
Also, M.B. is worse than ten Hitlers.
~
This is a level of stupid that takes ambition to achieve.
POOP! (Scroll down to No. 3.)
(Now I am 10 Hitlers.)
Let me see now. Evolution is the most widely accepted and most thoroughly tested theory in science (and has passed every test). It is the foundation of all modern biology and medicine. Because the evidence for evolution is interconnected with other areas of science, rejecting evolutionary theory requires rejecting the laws of physics, chemistry, and geology, just to name a few. In contrast, nobody has ever been able to scientifically confirm the existence of sky fairies, the possibility of virgin birth or resurrection of the dead, or most of the stories in the Bible. Based on all of that, I would have to say that if you do not believe in evolution you are clearly a willfully butt ignorant doodyhead of mammoth proportions unqualified to perform any task more complicated than cleaning toilets or sweeping the streets.
Speaking as the husband of a biologist and as someone whose work depends on applied physics, thank you.
3. Poopy-Time Fun Shapes, my ass.
3 Hitlers plus 10 = 13 Hitlers!!!
M.B. is worse than 13 Hitlers.
Q.E.D.
~
Scientists didn’t operate very well without Plate Tectonics. For example, a zoologist had to invent the non-existent “lost continent of Lemuria” to explain the fossil record in Asia and Africa, but it turned out that real explanation was Continental Drift.
So, yeah, I guess you’re right about one thing: geologists and other scientists did operate for centuries without knowledge of Plate Tectonics – but here’s the thing, they were operating on incorrect information. They had to invent hypotheses – incorrect hypotheses – to account for the data that would later be satisfactorily explained by the theory of Plate Tectonics.
It was the same thing for biology before the discovery of Evolution.
Next he’s going to tell us that Santa Claus isn’t real. Pfft. Nye is an idiot.
And, as an aside, despite Lemuria being non-existent and unnecessary to explain the facts, a lot of cranks continue to believe in it to this day. It’s hugely important in Occultism/Theosophy and is essential to most modern narratives about Atlantis.
Yay bullshit!
Also, the constitution guarantees my right to believe in ghosts, flying saucers, Angela and supply side economics. So fuck you, bill nye the Satan guy.
That should be angels. There is sufficient evidence that Angelas exist.
There is a huge distinction between dismissing good science like evolution and not knowing why continents move. Or that they do in fact move, for that matter. Strike 7, dumbass. You’re fuckin out.
Not to mention, Orbs.
~
Pseudo intellectual calls out “pseudo” scientist? My god, that was painful to read. If I were a cynical person, I’d think he just wrote a bunch of pretentious gobbeldy-gook, not understanding what most of it means, with the intention of stifling any potential critiques of his, erm, method.
As Einstein famously put it, make it simple, but not simpler.
Does it need to be said that the quotation is spurious?
Bah-that second half of the quotation is just legalese. Fine print, if you will. Not even central to his point.
Back in the ’80s, we were warned!
Is Lemuria where lemurs come from?
Is Lemuria where lemurs come from?
It’s all covered in the Lemurian Appendix.
Imagine the caterwauling among physicists if we discover that light travels at a uniform speed within the confines of the Milky Way, but at a variable speed in the galaxy Andromeda.
Or you could save yourself the trouble of imagining the caterwauling, by checking out some of the various variable-C theories in circulation.
Karthon the Quester approves this message.
~
…if you’re getting an inaccurate speed of light, you need your gauge fixed
Just because everyone says you’re a big fat doody-head doesn’t mean you’re not a big fat doody-head.
Science is too just another religion!
Any fule kno that all religionists devote their time to refining their belief systems, designing experiments that will test their beliefs and either bring them into a closer approximation of reality or disproof them entirely. Right?
Plus, I never said that guy was fat. Paranoid much, Mr. Goddidit?
John Revolta. Your bowtie hypothesis can easily be refuted. George Will and Tucker Carlson are clearly wholly evil and both wear bow ties.
Yes, actually, that was the idea. The place was indeed named after lemurs.
Many a fule knows
That a dog needs a home
And shelter
From pigs on the wing
Antarctica was originally called penguinia.
People like Terry are simply lazy. They are unwilling to undertake a disciplined analysis of their propositions against actual evidence, i.e. proven facts. Instead, they use unsupported propositions and claims to beliefs that are just assertions based on nothing whatsoever (except the Bible and other origin narratives). So his arguments are not even proper arguments but just random screeds. Pathetic, though all too widespread in our ever dumbing-down culture.
Nuh uh, YER lazy because you’d know stuff if you read the bible.
The fact is, science can no longer be trusted because of the liberal infetration and bias, making results that favor big goverment and PC the normal, by concensus of bias of the eleites. Therefore, when teh Republic is restored to the Consitution, We The People (the Tea Bag Party, if you will) must ensure that real science replaces biased science, to save are children from bias and indoctornation in the academies, which we are paying for are tax dollars.
You leave John Hodgman out of this!
The fact is, also, liberal science insists that whites are rasist, liberals are always right and that gays need special rites and that Chistians need to be silenced because there beleafs are fearful to the multicult PC hoard. Also, sciences excuse for abortion is just wrong, it is a child not a choice
At this point, it’s important to cast one’s mind back to the time when God was dictating the Bible to various folks. Now God undoubtedly was able to explain the mysteries of the creation of the Universe and life on this planet to Stone and Iron Age shepherds – but those illiterate shepherds would have had trouble explaining in to the scribes…
Hence, the Big Bang became “let there be light.”
For clarity, it isn’t that science contradicts religious beliefs. Rather, it casts doubt on the King James version of the Bible being the “literal word of God.” (God being all-knowing and all powerful, it’s hardly surprising that He spoke contemporary English thousand of years before the Normans met the Saxons.)
They used to claim that the Bible proved the world was flat, because how else could God take someone up to the top of a mountain and show them the four corners of the world? (One answer: God being all-powerful lets Him do things like bend light however he wants. Gravity, playing with diffraction – there are lots of ways even us humans know of to bend light.)
It is also interesting to note that the God of the Bible apparently favored centralized planning – no competitive market forces for Him. If God didn’t use competitive pressures (ie evolution), He was obviously some kind of Stalinist. If this was true, wouldn’t He hate free market capitalism?
Christianity became widely accepted only after the New Testament was published in a peer-reviewed journal.
tp;crtwftbb&w.*
Shorter Major World Religions: We’re off the hook F0REVAR now because we don’t routinely immolate or disembowel unbelievers any more, right?
We may have just plopped a 900 kilo mobile lab on Mars but we’re still a primitive society.
No modern** one worth the name has room for magick thinking other than as entertainment or a cautionary trope.
Not to mention,
P00PHAMBURG3R![ die sh0pw0rns Sabbat tunelinkensgeschaftsheit gehens HIIIIIIIIER ]
________________________________
* too prolix; could’nt read teh whole fucking thing between breakfast & work
** For a value of “modern society” that = one with ongoing prevalent modernist contact with reality.
The poopy-head conjecture: Fucking (adj) idiots fucking (v) idiots.
Q. E.to the Fucking D.
Antarctica was originally called penguinia.
They make chocolate in Antarctica?
From the American Thinker comments section:
Evolution is NOT science! It is an utterly failed HYPOTHESIS since it has no data to support it.
Well, that settles that.
Also, people who believe in evolution are just like Bill Ayers.
I fully expect Republicans to start complaining about “liberal anti-feudalist bias” any day now.
Wouldn’t a benevolent God sya “Look all this evolution stuff is just made up, I thought you’d realise it and get the joke. Well shame on me”.
If it helps any, I do know a wee bit about quantum, gleaned decades ago in physics class and more recently as a science writer.
Quantum mechanics may be hard to understand in some ways, but you need not know the heavy math to understand that it gets tested EVERY BLOODY DAY.
Are you using a computer? A radio with a transistor? Congrats, you are using a quantum device. Quantum mechanics comes up in nuclear engineering too. Solar panels work on quantum principles. And the famous double-slit experiment has been done a zillion times. Do these people not get that physicists do experiments?
Yes, there are some things we don’t understand. But FFS, computers WORK. Fiber optic communications and lasers exist. quantum isn’t so mysterious really, it’s just that once you get deep in the math is hard, and electrons do weird things sometimes.
So whenever someone gets too mystical, remind them that the transistor and laser were both invented 50+ years ago.
Your bowtie hypothesis can easily be refuted. George Will and Tucker Carlson are clearly wholly evil and both wear bow ties.
I’m not going to let my hypotheses be dictated by fact checkers.
I can’t believe that stupid asshole said that. Shorter: it’s my party and I’ll pie if I want to!
Change is inevitable in a universe with consistently acting forces, like gravity and electromagnetism and so forth. If evolution were false, we wouldn’t be able to make remotely accurate predictions about anything at all.
Lovely. You, cerebus, are a gift to the interwebs.
A comment on the observation angle: we often augment and refine our observations with equipment that reads out numbers. No, really, I’m not being a penis. Stuff like Quantum Electrodynamics (Feynman’s short QED is a must-read) is theory that is trying to explain the numbers. For example, It has made a prediction (aside from the magnetic moment of an electron): that we can eject a bubble from our 11-dimensional space. That’s one of the big efforts in particle collision: one that will actually destroy matter/energy. The result will be a simple number that will make the physicist excited.
I think he is taking the word “observation” literally; while it is true that sometimes we compare electrophorsis runs in biology or observe the distribution of immunolabeling in a cell, looking at a digital read-out totally counts as observation =] -AnB
And, as an aside, despite Lemuria being non-existent and unnecessary to explain the facts, a lot of cranks continue to believe in it to this day. It’s hugely important in Occultism/Theosophy and is essential to most modern narratives about Atlantis.
I remember Lemuria, and you, sir, are no Lemuria!
It is also interesting to note that the God of the Bible apparently favored centralized planning – no competitive market forces for Him. If God didn’t use competitive pressures (ie evolution), He was obviously some kind of Stalinist. If this was true, wouldn’t He hate free market capitalism?
If gawd’s believers are any evidence, gawd’s doesn’t believe in free markets. Least ways, murican stains don’t, for all their pretense that they do. They believe in rigging everything to their material advantage. But that is obvious to everyone.
The real question is why these evolutionary throwbacks are still around promoting their patriarchal “binding and restrictive” societies. Assholes like this terry thrive on the idea that they, and a bunch of long beards just like them, should be honored and revered for their “insights and wisdom.” This is their real contention with any rational system such as science, and why they always take it as a personal threat, trying to make it Us and Them unnecessarily. As someone wrote above, they are intellectually too lazy to study and earn their Wise Elder status, are too proud to defer to others, and so must undermine the credibility of anyone who might challenge their perceived status.
“murican stains” above is supposed to be American Xtians (although it is a pleasantly serendipitous typo). I’m traveling and using my iPad–not something I’ve evolved to handle well.
Wonderful. Let’s all go back to the ’50’s. When I was a teenager, in ’58 or ’59, a 7-11 store clerk in Houston was arrested by an undercover cop for selling him a broom on Sunday, in violation of the Blue Laws.
And new-fangled “privacy” rights–wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could return to those fabulous Blue Denim days of yore?
I do remember a preacher on Christian radio (circa 1963) on a rant about Thomas Huxley and his belief in evolution–that maybe evolution was all right for those pointy-headed intellectual types, but not for plain folks like you and me.
Wonderful. Let’s all go back to the ’50?s
Only if we get the 91% top tax bracket and strong labor unions that went with it. And maybe cars with tail fins.
Well. I’m sold. Bye bye Bill Nye. Too bad about my geology degree, I didna know I could have skipped all the tectonics classes, way too oversimplified. And at least I still have Beakman!
And Josie, Liza, Phoebe and I’ll be in my bunk…
And maybe cars with tail fins.
Just a fluke.
The Children of the Corn apparently haven’t gotten the memo that they are delusional psychotic retards.
There are many bacteria that are now resistant to penicillin.
The
Children of the CornDiscovery Institute apparently haven’t gotten the memo that they are delusional psychotic retards.Needlessly insulting to the Children Of Teh Corn. Corrected for accuracy of finest quality.
There is a tendency in the economy of belief to oversimplify.
It’s the economy (of belief), stupid! That’s why we need to return to the Gold Standard: Archimedeanism.
Earth was not originally suspended in the air by a magic water vapor canopy.
Objection: link calls for the admission of “evidence”. You can’t fool me, sir, it’s turtles all the way down.
The Christian hears the story of the resurrected Christ, an event that is claimed to have occurred in real time and witnessed by some five hundred, and chooses to follow him. These are not simply matters of faith.
Whaddya mean no evidence?! It’s clearly printed RIGHT THERE in a book, dammit.
Imagine the caterwauling among physicists if we discover that light travels at a uniform speed within the confines of the Milky Way, but at a variable speed in the galaxy Andromeda.
It DOES vary. I know this because I read it in a book.
Obligatory:
http://www.myconfinedspace.com/2007/03/28/national-geographic-was-darwin-wrong/
Knowing her fate, Atlantis sent out ships
To all corners of the Earth, on board were the
Twelve: the poet, the physician, the farmer, the scientist
The magician and the other so-called Gods of our legends
Though Gods they were
And as the elders of our time choose to remain blind
Let us rejoice and let us sing
And dance and ring in the new
Hail Atlantis!
Also relevant.
Also also relevant.
Imagine the caterwauling among physicists if we discover that light travels at a uniform speed within the confines of the Milky Way, but at a variable speed in the galaxy Andromeda.
Projection again. It was the stupid believers that would kill more cats when things went bad.
*** As I’ve stated previously I know jack all about quantum theory so I’m not going to pretend to defend this as an expert. But what I do know is that they aren’t “declaring from on high how the universe works based on empty math conjectures”. There are tests one can run in a lab to demonstrate some of these principles.
One doesn’t need to know anything about _any_ particular theory, whether it be the theory of gravity or the theory of plate tectonics etc., to defend the theory. One simply does what you did right there. Any scientific theory worth jack shit makes predictions. Oh sure, Pat Robertson can predict hurricanes and shit but with science the prediction, if correct, can be repeated every goddamn time. Science is much better at prophecy than religion.
If science can’t predict with absolute certainty who will win the Super Bowl then it I useless.
I useless, is useless…it’s the razors edge.
N__B said,
September 9, 2012 at 18:37
If science can’t predict with absolute certainty who will win the Super Bowl then it I useless.
Green Bay. Scientifically and religiously.
I can haz Institoot nao?
Long term toots are more satisfying than institoots.
Experiment:
Give me 6 rum-n-cokes and try to predict my behavior.
There are several plausible outcomes:
1) Pick a fight with some asshole wearing Steelers gear in MY BAR.
2) Do something sexually inappropriate
3) Fall asleep
4) Eat something I found on the floor
5) Inappropriately confess TMI
6) ?????
No scientific model or supercomputer can accurately predict where I’m going. Now lets try it with 6 billion people, 32 football teams, bacteria, viruses, climate, just how fucking batshit insane the Republican party will get before it eats itself…
The problem of having WAY too many variables is the only thing that keeps a theory a theory. It’s called a theory because speaking in absolutes is hubris and antithetical to the entire idea of science. But the real problem is that it’s antithetical to faith as well. What happened to “God works in mysterious ways?” Why does the idea of evolution have to be a direct contraction to your faith? If you have the thinking power of an ordinary 11 year old, you should be able to realize that your own life and observations amount to a less than perceptible flash in time and space, and that certainty in really much of anything is a completely stupid, to put it charitably.
I suppose this whole question, faith vs. volumes and volumes of empirical evidence that answers many questions, and annoyingly raises millions of new questions, has to be quite discomforting to your average intellectual slob who really likes it all to be summed up with “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth.” This is why they pine for the Middle Ages when only clergy and nobility could read, and the laity didn’t have much choice but to accept what they were told. No resources to discover anything for themselves…
Why does the idea of evolution have to be a direct contraction to your faith?
It isn’t a contradiction for the Catlicks. They accept evolution. But then those fucking Jesuits can rationalize ANYTHING.
In my confrontations with religious types they inevitably ask “do you believe in evolution?” My response these days is “Do you _understand_ evolution?” catches ’em up every time. So, tsam, it’s that the people have a need to believe something – opiate of the masses and all that. They don’t get that we do not _believe in_ evolution so to them it is nothing more than a contrary belief. See also the religious wars throughout history.
Fortunately all of these clueless fucks will be gone soon. That’s pretty much the point of evolution – you get your turn (maybe), and then you’re done. You aren’t immortal.
Pretty funny that he mentions buddhists before christians, in terms of the whole religion-is-so-like-reason argument. As a buddhist, I can confidently state that he knows just about as much about buddhism as he does science.
The Buddha basically said, “y’all are gonna die – you know that?” Kind of different from the “we can all live forever with the sky wizard if we just belieeeeeeve!” His “message of compassion and service to others” is essentially a derivative, not the central teaching. That more or less comes down to, “since you are a transient phenomenon, try not to take your own shit so seriously, and maybe consider spending your time trying to make life (i.e. what is “real”, as opposed to fantasy afterlives) less shitty for others? Do some useful science, for instance. And develop (and fund) a proper health care system, while you’re at it.
I was thinking about converting to Buddhism – mostly because I’m starting to look like him.
That which makes me holier-than-thou makes me holier than you!!
Long term toots are more satisfying than institoots.
For long term you should probably consider a toot suite.
dude – and here I thought it was a fruitional aspect of my practice… (you’re probably thinking of Hotei: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hotai) The Buddha was a skinny fucker. (If I were more serious then maybe I’d lose some weight – and then I could live FOREVARRRRR :])
“My words are like gold – burn them, cut them, beat them!” (attributed to the Buddha)
“You were all born with a built-in bullshit detector – you are obligated to use it!” (paraphrased from Chogyam Trungpa, Rinpoche)
Its all pretty much a lot of method wrapped around common sense – and diligent observation, at least as could be done 2500 years ago by looking at one’s mind and the world.
“God?” – bullshit.
“Soul?” – bullshit.
“Eternal Life?” – bullshit.
“Everything that has a beginning has an end?” – bingo.
Okay, enough dogma – more snark, please!
Why is bin Ladin crying in that graphic?
.
Ve haf noticed if you thump a bible thrice in quick succession the subject begins to drool.*
SCIENCE!!
*or throw money at the person thumping the bible.
Why is bin Ladin crying in that graphic?
‘Cause he’s dead & GM isn’t.
I am confident that the human race will produce an ample supply of idiots to take their place.
‘Cause he’s dead & GM isn’t.
Why does bin Ladin hate America?
.
Snorghagen I’m an optimist to this extent – the youth just don’t seem to embrace the stupid with quite the enthusiasm of my generation or the previous one. (Yeah, there was a batch of Reaganites there in the ’90s who didn’t really know what an hypocritical asshole prick Reagan was, but the collapsing economy should put an end to those fantasies – except for the ones who made it into the 1%)
Stuff like this, for instance: http://deadspin.com/5941348/they-wont-magically-turn-you-into-a-lustful-cockmonster-chris-kluwe-explains-gay-marriage-to-the-politician-who-is-offended-by-an-nfl-player-supporting-it
(Chris Kluwe – Viking’s punter, via Atrios – as Major Kong flirts with buddhism, this might make me a football fan)
When in France I ate tout sweet.
WE’RE NUMBER ONE! WE’RE NUMBER ONE!
Is this a great town or what?
Why does bin Ladin hate America?
Clearly, freedom.
Tha’s why we does not hear too muches from him no more – we have removed that pesky freedom, and replaced it with Eternal Vigilance and such.
Ha, take that, pesky hatted person.
I am jealous – but at least Pittsburgh isn’t too far away…
sorry for punctuation fail, Vikings fans…
But I’m not in Portland!
Damn. I should have changed my nym to “Lustful Cockmonster.”
Heh I just typed “cockmomster.” Don’t think it was a Freudian typo, he’s not even my type.
GIT OFF IN MAH LAWN!!!
Any Portland in a storm.
GOT OFF ON YOUR LAWN!
GOT OFF ON YOUR LAWN!
Dude, you’re just a statistic.
FuuhcK Fuk, Fuk, Fuk. Fuuuhck Fuk Fuk FUUHCK!.
The Christian hears the story of the resurrected Christ, an event that is claimed to have occurred in real time and witnessed by some five hundred, and chooses to follow him.
Silly Christian non-eyewitness Gospel writers! They should have claimed there were one.million witnesses instead of just 500.
These are not simply matters of faith.
Religion is empirical. This is why when christians and muslims disagree they can sit down and compare facts until one side convinces the other… or they may decide to be both, much as one can be a psychologist and a physicist.
Feck I hate this trendy liberal “Alternative ways of Knowing” post-modern relativism.
WE’RE NUMBER ONE! WE’RE NUMBER ONE!
Sorry, “most promiscuous in the US” is not really saying much.
I’ve never heard of a field scientist…
This is why the best oceanographic institutes are in the American midwest and Poland.
Evolution, likewise, is deduced from two primary observations: the fossil record, which, so it is claimed, shows evidence that life represents a continuum of biological forms expressing a progression from the simple to the more complex; and the similarity of hypothetically related species, such as human beings and apes.
I think I may see what he’s getting at—- he’s dumber than his parents and his children are ZOMG so stupid that it works for him.
…nobody has ever been able to scientifically confirm the existence of sky fairies, the possibility of virgin birth or resurrection of the dead, or most of the stories in the Bible…
Yes, but whenever something that looks like something has been described in the bible many begin to hold their breath for the moment that scientists prove the bible is correct. Everytime someone finds an ancient piece of wood near or in the Mid-East, it must be Noah’s Ark and that proves that every single word in the bible is correct.
in ’58 or ’59, a 7-11 store clerk in Houston was arrested by an undercover cop for selling him a broom on Sunday, in violation of the Blue Laws.
When I was a kid in Fort Worth we were sometimes spared from church on Sundays because my mother felt she must wear dresses to church, so when she discovered on Sunday morning that all her panty hose had run
The Buddha was a skinny fucker.
Oh. I thought it was like Young Elvis and Old Elvis.
Since most of my Portland visits coincided with the brewers’ festival my view of the mating habits, or indeed any of the quaint local culture, was impaired by heroic doses of barley beverages. And being surrounded by thundering, wildebeast-like herds of beer geeks.
What the hell!? All her panty hose had runs— then we didn’t have to go to church because she couldn’t buy panty hose on Sundays. BTW, only sluts and whores wore hose with runs in those days.
Wiley, you didn’t have anything to do with the runs in your mother’s stockings did you?
It never occurred to me. Sometimes I wish I actually were the conniving and plotting sort.
What the religionists can’t get past is the fact that no one cares whether they “believe in evolution” or not. Unlike God or Santa Claus, evolution works regardless of whether anyone believes in it, rejects it, or has never even heard of it. That’s what makes the study of evolution a science rather than a superstitious death cult.
Fluffy Kittehs?
(it would not be Sunday without cat-pimping)
.
Is this a great town or what?
If you’re on a list w/ San Ber’doo it’s nothing to be proud of.
BTW, only sluts and whores wore hose with runs in those days.
It seems as if less ladies are sporting hose at all these days, although it may be a SoCal phenomenon.
Any other voyeuristic types noted this?
It seems as if less ladies are sporting hose at all these days, although it may be a SoCal phenomenon.
Rarely seen in Nashville.
.
… then again, I don’t go to any of the various flavors of Baptist churches in the region, either.
.
But I saw Dog in the clouds…
.
JP brings the caterwauling.
on a list w/ San Ber’doo
Ouch. You wound me, sir!
JP brings the caterwauling.
It’s all I have. That, and this rock.
.
Well, I did do this, yesterday. Because I love women. I love women’s fitness. I love fit women. All of them, also. Too.
.
JP, what the FUCK is with the impossible captcha? I fucking signed in w/ google and I STILL have to prove I’m not a fucking robot? And I CAN’T EVEN TELL WHETHER THERE ARE WORDS IN THOSE IMAGES. Really, it’s not a matter of hard to make out letters, I can’t even tell there are letters.
And at least I still have Beakman!
And Josie, Liza, Phoebe and I’ll be in my bunk…
Yeah, Alana Ubach… wow… just wow.
Pup, capcha is trying to discourage us older persons from commentating. I’m glad it’s not just me.
Really, it’s not a matter of hard to make out letters, I can’t even tell there are letters.
Told ya you’d go blind.
JP, what the FUCK is with the impossible captcha?
We’ll have to ask the Googulator, as its their schema, not mine! The only other option is to accept incessant spam in the comments… or switch back to FortyToo, which has its own support bugaboos.
.
Yeah, those GLs (Gold Wings) are tough to stand up. Did he have the hot tub option? You have to detach it first to even have a chance of getting it back up.
Yeah, those GLs (Gold Wings) are tough to stand up. Did he have the hot tub option?
He had the kitchen sink. Everything but the 60″ plasma, BluRay and hot tub, I think. It had an Igloo cooler on the back, even.
Even “down”, it was perched at a ~45-degree angle, from all the shit hanging off the sides, including crash bars.
.
I think dood could have held it up if both his tires weren’t bald as a baby’s butt.
.
I got to ride a Gold Wing once, many years ago. I think they weighed something like 700 pounds back then and they haven’t gotten any lighter since.
they weighed something like 700 pounds back then
These days that’s the option list. Not the options, the paperwork.
I don’t think you can get one out the door under 800 pounds.
Yep, looks they start at 900 pounds anymore.
I’m not sure why they just don’t buy a car at that point.
Ouch. You wound me, sir!
Nothing personal, just my duty to advise in re S.B..
Driving into the North Western Victoria, Australia town of Bendigo we were surrounded by a big group of Gold Wing riders. It was like being in a buffalo herd.
In states without helmet laws (Ohio) for example:
I observe maybe 90% of Gold Wing riders wearing helmets.
Sport bike riders maybe 50%.
Harley riders almost never.
In states without helmet laws (Ohio) for example:
I observe maybe 90% of Gold Wing riders wearing helmets.
Sport bike riders maybe 50%.
Harley riders almost never.
In my observations, Harley riders are all rugged individualists who all drink only Jack Black, all smoke Marlboro Reds and all only wear the paper-thin fake DOT half helmets where helmets are required.
.
It’s got to be tough riding a motorcycle wearing an 800-pound helmet.
I’m not sure why they just don’t buy a car at that point.
At 1.6L of displacement, you sure ain’t ridin’ for good gas mileage.
.
Back in the day I had one of the (infamous) 3-cyliner 2-stroke Kawasaki street bikes.
The horsepower all lived in the last 2000 rpms or so and came on rather, ahem, abruptly.
Pull out into traffic.
Roll on full throttle.
Nothing…
Nothing……
Nothing………..
Holeeeeeeee fucking shiiiiiiiiit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You didn’t steer it, you just aimed it and hung on for dear life.
Note – other than as a historical oddity I don’t recommend anyone buying one of these things (assuming any are left that haven’t been wrecked).
They weren’t very comfortable, the brakes were barely adequate and the handling was evil. Fuel mileage was pretty bad too.
Sometimes there’s a reason they don’t make ’em like that anymore.
The poopy-head conjecture
I incline to favouring the “Cumulative Con-Game FAIL” theory of human progress.
The rub is that the most parlous con-games people subscribe to also appear to be among the sturdiest – & we have minds as powerful & nimble as Nadia Comenici in her prime when it comes to the spontaneous manufacture & embrace of warm soft comforting bullshit. There may be less of it stinking up the joint at this moment in history on the Left than on the Right, but psychic blind-spots are ubiquitous … & assuming that one has miraculously attained total immunity from them is the “HEY! HOLD MY BEER & WATCH THIS!!!“ of discourse.
Jim – uh, yeah. human nature is generally still human nature, and just because we’re making fewer old mistakes doesn’t preclude endless new ones. I do think the central issue is that our collective tab is coming due, and the ones with the deepest pockets are spending their time and money making sure we aren’t holding them accountable. We *could* have peace and prosperity, sound lives and sane deaths, and a ecosystem not heading at speed for heat waves not seen since the Permian – but we won’t, because that would require us to stop worrying about whose taxes are too high and generally chill on the whole military-industrial thing. Not gana duit. But there are more people all the time with the sense to notice that the emperor is naked, and that he has a real fondness for the barbequed babies of every species. So that’s still something.
Ah, Major K, the one that got away from me was a Honda CB750 – that was a scary beast to be learning on; what a cool bike. I wore a helmet pretty much all the time, and went over the handlebars a few times. I also remembered that any accident over 35mph would almost certainly be lethal. Somehow I’m still here. I think.
Thanks, Cerb. Too school for cool…
states without helmet laws (Ohio) for example…
I was recently in Ohio and was amazed at the number of bikers who rode with no protective gear at all. Seeing a dude on a Harley rolling down a crowded interstate in the middle of Cleveland wearing a bandana and a teeshirt just boggled my mind.
We rented a Honda ST1300 and rode all over SE Ohio, WV, MD and western PA. The rental outfit was a Harley dealership and they looked a bit…nonplussed at our full set of gear (and full face helmets) when we pulled it from our luggage. Fun ride; the ST is a very comfortable and tractable animal, even two-up.
A friend of mine just went down on some gravel this weekend. Slid into a Jersey barrier. Broke some ribs, his ankle and gave himself some road rash. Fortunately, he was wearing an armored jacket and full-face helmet — the helmet was trashed but his face is still intact.
Not that I needed it but I’m even more convinced that ATGATT is the only way to ride.
Sort of funny story about donor cycles and helmets…
Washington had a helmet law. Idaho does not. (shocking, I know)
So a lot of motor scooter riders go to Idaho to exercise their god given right to astronomically increase their risk of death in even relatively minor crashes. Anyway, one super smart dude was riding to idaho on the freeway and wanted to take his helmet off at the border. Apparently, it somehow slipped his mind to stop the bike rather than attempt to remove the helmet at 70mph. He died at the border. I guess that’s not really funny, but I figure this dude ahould have had the motorcycle category of the Darwin (oooh, relevant) Awards named after him.
Shite. I was just gonna make a crack about *bikers who rode with no protective gear at all* and natural selection and tsam snuck one in under the wire. Jerk. Shouldn’t you be doing something sexually inapproprate or eating something off the floor by now?
Shite. I was just gonna make a crack about *bikers who rode with no protective gear at all* and natural selection and then tsam snuck one in under the wire. Jerk. Shouldn’t you be doing something sexually inappropriate or eating something off the floor by now?
Done and done. I’m an efficient dumbass.
Driving into the North Western Victoria, Australia town of Bendigo we were surrounded by a big group of Gold Wing riders. It was like being in a buffalo herd.
Hope you didn’t try roller skating.
Heh I just typed “cockmomster.” Don’t think it was a Freudian typo, he’s not even my type.
I am everyone’s type.
Shouldn’t you be doing something sexually inappropriate or eating something off the floor by now?
Hey, come to think of it I can visualize* a twofer here.
*oh yes I can.
I’m an ATGATT guy except that I will run errands wearing my regular hiking shoes and jeans along with armored jacket, gloves and full face helmet.
Some years back Pennsylvania repealed their helmet law. On the first day of FREEDUMB the head of the main coalition/organization/thing that lobbied for repeal went for a celebratory ride. You know what’s coming, right? Yep – crashed and killed due to head injury.
I’m not allowed to have a motorcycle, at least as long as I want to stay married.
I’ve almost talked her into letting me have an old British bike, because “it would run about as often as that Jag I used to have” and she wouldn’t have to worry about me actually riding it.
she wouldn’t have to worry about me actually riding it.
Speaking of twofers, you’d also be out from underfoot, in the garage fixing the damn thing.
I am everyone’s type.
O negative?
O negative?
O positive. Very positive. Often multiple.
so let me get this straight…ohio doesn’t require motorcyclists to wear helmets, but they want to require photo id to vote? okay…
O positive. Very positive. Often multiple.
O?
Oh.
I gave up riding in Los Angeles because cars see motorcycles rather like creationists see evolutionists.
As the embodiment of their enemy and a living breathing counterargument to the distorted little myths they cling to in order to maintain their precious illusions of significance in the face of an uncaring universe?
Ohio is a weird state. Northern Ohio pretty much defines “rust belt”. Youngstown, Cleveland, Toledo. Tends to vote Democratic.
Southeastern Ohio is Appalachia. The terrain and culture are indistinguishable from West Virginia. Not sure how the politics are. If my in-laws are any indication they’re mixed.
Southwest (Cincinnati and surroundings) is very, very Republican.
Central Ohio (Columbus) where I live is so incredibly average that for the longest time it was a huge test market for new products. It’s mostly a white-collar city. It’s become more diverse since I moved here 19 years ago. The politics tend to be split – the city votes Democratic the suburbs more Republican.
In short, it’s a pretty schizophrenic state, which is why we’re always a swing state.
That old chestnut about riding like you’re invisible? I say ride like you have a target painted on you.
I gave up riding shortly after an old lady in a Buick came a few inches from taking me out on my Honda 700 Nighthawk S. This was sometime around 1985 or 1986.
6-lane highway, cars on all sides, traffic moving around 50-60 mph. I looked left for a second as someone was passing me.
She must have pulled out in front of the car in front of me. I remember seeing brake lights, I had the front back to the handlebar, the back wheel in a full skid and as time is slowing down I start running the time-distance-deceleration equation and come to the horrific conclusion
I’m not going to make it
And then, somehow, I’m in between the two lanes of traffic abeam the car I just about became a part of. I also didn’t, and to this day don’t, know how I got there. It’s like that 2 seconds of my life is missing.
I pulled off the side of the road, shut the bike down, and sat in the grass for a while.
Sold the bike about a month after that.
The politics tend to be split – the city votes Democratic the suburbs more Republican.
That’s a lot like the Puget Sound area. Seattle, Bellevue, Tacoma proper (maybe Everett too) are fairly liberal; the suburbs trend more conservative. The rural parts of the state may as well be Appalachia, as tsam will attest.
The politics tend to be split – the city votes Democratic the suburbs more Republican.
Here is the LEAFS SUCKian version. Incidentally, other than slight changes for where the Wards were moved about, that is essentially a map of the pre-amalgamation Toronto embedded within the MegaCity.
Plus East York. Don’t want to offend the Leaside folks.
I’m not allowed to have a motorcycle, at least as long as I want to stay married.
I nearly got killed by my mother when I emphatically and disrespectfully declined an offer to attend West Point. (They come ask you if you’d like to stay in the Army for 11 years during your 3rd or 4th week of basic training–not exactly high percentage fishing, there, guys).
I have been threatened (and I believe she will make good on that threat) to kill me if I ever ride a motorcycle.
My wife worked in the ER at Norwalk Hospital about 15 years back. After some of her stories, I’ll never get on a motorcycle. I’ve managed to blank most of them from my mind, but one that stuck with me was the novice who panicked when taking a bend at 60+. When the bike leaned over in the bend, he freaked and put his foot down. His boots had enough grip that he found his knee going 50+ mph faster than his ankle. Fortunately, his boots were laced tightly up to the knee, so when his leg was ripped off, it stayed with him and they were able to reattach it
That old chestnut about riding like you’re invisible? I say ride like you have a target painted on you.
You know, I stay way back behind cycles because I know they can stop in a fraction of the time my vehicle can. I deliberately move them out of my blind spots and look twice when I notice one around me. I’m convinced that I’m the only person in all of Spokane that does this. I’ve seen people literally no more than 20 feet behind motorcycles on the freeway. I couldn’t do it. I’d lose it and kill a motherfucker.
Anything east of the Cascades is almost certainly die-hard fundy right wing. tsam lives in Spokane, W. Idaho.
I would not bet against you being the only person in Spokane, W. Idaho to do that.
I nearly got killed by my mother when I emphatically and disrespectfully declined an offer to attend West Point.
My father was in the Army. When West Point came asking me to attend, my father said “Son, don’t join the effing Army!”.
It was bad enough when I joined the Air Force.
Anything east of the Cascades is almost certainly die-hard fundy right wing. tsam lives in Spokane, W. Idaho.
Meaning a huge number of people drive giant trucks way too fast and cannot be arsed to give a fat shit about anyone else on the road. They also like their camouflage or NASCAR hats, sunglasses with flames on them, comically tight jeans, and Copenhagen. (NOT the city, which I doubt that a single douche among them could identify on a map or is even aware of its existence).
tsam lives in Spokane, W. Idaho.
Yep, although Spokane proper is another relatively liberal oasis in the Red Desert. Everything around it south to Las Vegas and east to Chicago (OK maybe Bismark) is pretty dang redstate.
Oh and here’s a comforting bit of news.
Spokane tries. I suppose it isn’t much different from Seattle, where it seems like a majorly liberal city, but when you get more than about 20 miles in any direction from I5, you’re back to the “rugged individualist” types, AKA assholes. I do see quite evidence of progressive thought here, though. In small doses. It keeps me going.
Spokane
Note – if you’re from Seattle or vicinity, whenever someone mentions Spokane you’re required to turn up your nose and very condescendingly say “That’s Eastern Washington”.
In context, I’d say “Bill Nye Is Pwning Your Kids 4 SATAN” is alright enough batshittery off the cuff, but it’s certainly no “Sesame Street Is Stalinist Mind-Control.”
Raging against the Grover machine FOR GREAT JUSTICE?
Only for self-appointed fucking Jedi-level iconoclasts.
Spokane
This guy regularly had Mark Fuhrman (of the OJ Simpson investigation and trial infamy) on his show a few years back.
There was time when we had a serial killer murdering prostitutes here in Spokane. Furhman and Fitzpatrick spent many hours on the radio criticizing the police department, handing out free advice on the proper way to catch a serial killer, etc…
It’s a struggle for police to catch these guys. Shit, Gary Ridgeway went DECADES without getting caught and was certainly not tried for all of his murders. Fuhrman insisted that he coulda had this whole case wrapped up before lunch.
Note – if you’re from Seattle or vicinity, whenever someone mentions Spokane you’re required to turn up your nose and very condescendingly say “That’s Eastern Washington”.
I get some looks of pity and disdain when I tell Seattlites where I’m from. I don’t disagree with their assessment of our collective mental state here. Portlanders give off the same vibe, but their Eastern half is pretty much just like ours.
Missing link from my post about the serial killer
It was a little disturbing to drive through his harvesting area EVERY DAY on my way to work, which is less than a mile from where all of the victims embarked on their last car ride…
Portlanders give off the same vibe, but their Eastern half is pretty much just like ours.
Ayup. Bend excepted.
I like Spokane. It’s a pretty town although the downtown kinda sucks. But then my folks grew up in Pullman (back when they still harvested wheat with a 20 horse team), I still have family over there and I like that area too.
Not to live, mind you, but it’s nice to visit occasionally.
Raging against the Grover machine FOR GREAT JUSTICE?
I’m still offended by the whole Bernie thing. And all those folks who were like “no problem with teh ghey stuff, but it’s wrong to make it Bert and Ernie. Sesame Workshop should introduce new characters to address the complete lack of openly gay individuals in the Sesame Street universe (which has over a thousand characters).” Well it has been a year since the petition and outcry and we’ve had Lily, the food insecure muppet and a casting call for a new Hispanic character.
Did anyone notice how Mittens reversed himself on coverage for pre-existing medical conditions three times—or was it four?—before brunch on Sunday?
Usually I despise people who gloat about what is supposedly about to happen (“Bookmark it, libs!”). But I can’t shake the gathering feeling that the debates, both presidential and vice, are going to be an unmitigated (heh) disaster for the GOP.
I’ve been to Spokane many times, both with the military (Fairchild AFB) and in the box-hauling business. I used to get Spokane a lot when I was on the A300. The hotel was right by the big park near downtown.
It’s a looooooong flight there from Memphis in the early AM.
It’s a pretty town although the downtown kinda sucks
Our downtown is actually really coming along. 20 years ago, it was the epitome of urban blight and decay, and just generally an ugly shithole. It’s not terrible now, we got an APPLE STORE EVEN! Anyway, there are some very decent restaurants and clubs now, lots of new, repurposed (though astronomically expensive) condos converted out of the ancient buildings, and look of everything has steadily gotten better.
The hotel was right by the big park near downtown
That’s Riverfront Park, which was built for Expo ’74. That was almost 40 years ago and we still won’t shutup about it.
But I can’t shake the gathering feeling that the debates, both presidential and vice, are going to be an unmitigated (heh) disaster for the GOP.
After watching Romney struggle with the likes of Bachmann and Ron Paul, and Rick Perry, you KNOW Obama is going to dumptruck his fool ass in the debates. Ryan can hold his own, but I think Joe is going to beat him too.
Thing is, none of this shit matters. Romney fucked himself with his base already, and most of his voters are just anti-Obama guys, so I’m sort of betting on a low turnout.
Eastern Washington Report from 40+ yrs. ago:
Walla Walla is nice (so nice they …) except for the State pen. And some of the townsfolk.
we got an APPLE STORE EVEN!
Welcome to the world of pretentious douchebags.
Portlanders give off the same vibe
Portlanders look down on anything not Portland.
Romney fucked himself with his base already, and most of his voters are just anti-Obama guys, so I’m sort of betting on a low turnout.
As I pointed out elsewhere this morning:
The Republicans don’t like Romney, they just don’t like Obama more. Not all Democrats like Obama but many do. So this election comes down to do we elect Romney and have a president that nobody likes, or do we elect Obama and have a president that about 35-40% of the people do like.
we got an APPLE STORE EVEN!
Welcome to the world of pretentious douchebags.
I dunno…if you want to buy an Apple product, your choices are pretty much limited to the Apple Store and eBay, no?
Welcome to the world of pretentious douchebags.
That’s almost exactly what I said when I first noticed the store. It ironically sits almost directly under a Pottery Barn.
The Republicans don’t like Romney, they just don’t like Obama more. Not all Democrats like Obama but many do. So this election comes down to do we elect Romney and have a president that nobody likes, or do we elect Obama and have a president that about 35-40% of the people do like.
Seems to me (though I’m certainly no expert on such things) that this pretty much amounts to a slight edge for Obama, right?
Portlanders look down on anything not Portland.
Amen, brother! Though I have to say there are FAR worse things to be all pretentious about and blindly loyal to…Portland is a pretty damn cool city when you add it all up and divide by the number of people and compare it to most other larger cities.
I dunno…if you want to buy an Apple product, your choices are pretty much limited to the Apple Store and eBay, no?
No–I know of one example–Best Buy carries Macs and iPods. And of course you can get an iPhone from the cell carriers. Unless that’s changed from the last time I was in a Best Buy, which was something like year ago when they had a bitchin sale on an iPod Touch that my daughter’s life absolutely depended on.
I was thinking this morning about something that might make the debates a little more informative and less bloviating bullshit…
I think they should sit across a table from each other and have to look each other in the eye when they make their claims. They should have to actually personally address each other. And instead of a certain amount of seconds per response or rebuttal, the moderator should give them the floor back and forth until the issue is settled.
And of course you can get an iPhone from the cell carriers.
Maybe, but from what I read, they won’t be happy about it. Apparently Apple screwed them into paying far more for the phones than they could recover from their customers. If you ever look at the ads from Verizon and the rest, they’re always pushing the Android, never the iPhone.
And of course you can get an iPhone from the cell carriers.
When we updated our iPhones we learned something interesting. We got the phones for, I think, $99 bucks on a two year contract. The retail was, again I don’t recall exactly, I think $499. According to the guy at the Apple store the carriers pay full retail for the phones, no discounts. .
I swear I had not seen BS’ comment before I typed mine.
Maybe, but from what I read, they won’t be happy about it. Apparently Apple screwed them into paying far more for the phones than they could recover from their customers.
No doubt about it. I’m pretty sure that’s why getting cellular data is so unreasonably priced.
And yeah, bring up any website and ‘GALAXY S3!!!’ smacks you right in the face.
Wait, you’re not saying that Apple would screw it’s business partners and customers, are you? Because that’s just HAHA CRAY!
Wait, you’re not saying that Apple would screw it’s business partners and customers, are you? Because that’s just HAHA CRAY!
Hell, just be grateful Steve Jobs didn’t want to get into the phone-service business. I’m surprised he missed that, with his mania for vertical integration.
I am everyone’s type.
O negative?
Comic Sans.
I am everyone’s type.
O negative?
Comic Sans.
Hmmmph.
I am everyone’s type.
O negative?
Comic Sans.
More like something ALLCAPS.
A very large typeface IYKWIMAITTYD. Bolded. Repeatedly indented into your margins.
I would make a comment about backspacing but I don’t want to cross into TMI territory.
FOUR!
Re : Sesame Street, diversity of.
Our local version, Takalani Sesame, has a newish character on it – a cute little girl who is HIV positive.
Fuck you, whore
Like any guy who is not fucking weird freak, I find Kate Upton very attractive. She’s attractive because of, rather than in spite of that delicious curvy body.
Well apparently some bitches want her to put down the burger and become a boney anorexic and maybe smile a whole lot less…
I beg your pardon!
Related to the *** footnote, someone much much smarter than me once said:
Measure what is measurable, and make measurable what is not so.
Here’s what bothered me most about the Bernie denial – are there married heterosexual couple on Sesame Street? Yes there are. Is their sexual activity discussed or considered at all on the show? No it is not. BUT for some reason, when the marriage is same-sex, all of a sudden the only thing that matters is genitalia and how muppets don’t have any. WTF?! Besides if the couple is actually gay married then there probably ain’t any sexxorz anyways. At least not with each other[1]. Just like the way it is in the traditional definition of marriage.
[1] jk. And I will leave it at that.
I didn’t realize that gay muppet sex was such a thread killer.
You all have probably seen this already, but I just saw it for the first time.
Though I have some misgivings about big spending on space exploration right now, I must say, “FUCK ME RUNNING! GODDAM, GODDAM, GOODAM! SEXY! WHOO!”
Dayum it’s hard to keep up around here sometimes. Anywho, delight post as usual Cerb. Here are my responses to some of the wise and witty comments made so far:
1) Hah! As if.
B) Those fucking furries!
iii) [no comment]
q) profit?
Corvallis beer week starts in three minutes. If you don’t see me back here this time next week, please send a search party to the bottom of the keg. Kthx.
Wear a dayglo vest so that we can see you OBS
Fuck you, whore
I so wanna call Poe, but it seems f’reals. Thus I am stabby.
I was mean to a group of old ladies yesterday.
We had tickets to a play at a venue with round tables. Our table seated eight, right up against stage left. We bought three seats facing the stage. Five oldsters bought tickets in a semicircle facing away from the stage. Numbered seats, lettered tables, ticket says “B4” or whatever.
When we arrived, the oldsters were, of course, seated in a semicircle facing the stage. I had to loudly and repeatedly explain to them that I expected three of them to move. They stared and chuckled as if I was nuts. But no. Finally three of them got up. “Does that suit you, young man?” — “It’s not a question of what suits me; we paid for those particular seats.”
disclaimer – the opinions are my own and are not related to the gov’ agency for which I work.
I manage software development contracts. Most of the contracting staff are are legal resident aliens or legal aliens – Indians mostly- and for the most part very good. I know what these guy’s hourly rates are because I review invoices and they are comparable (maybe a little less) to gov’t rates. There isn’t enough quality science, engineering, software development, and critical thinking skills being developed in this country. I blame some some of the anti-science bias by the religious right.
Unless that’s changed from the last time I was in a Best Buy
Nope. As a matter of fact, it’s called an Apple Shop, & I b’leeve it was staffed by dedicated (as in, they only sell the Apple products, not a measure of devotion) fanbois.
We had tickets to a play at a venue with round tables.
Dinner theater. Admit it: Dinner theater.
The creatures criticizing Bill Nye?
Guarantee they, despite what they may say now, vocally supported the Freedomtator, the least intellectually curious president since Jellybeans McFelon, a man so stupid they had to hire a steward to remind him to blink, and after the ‘pretzel incident’, swallow. A man for whom clearing brush was an example of the Peter Principle.
These are folks who have Jesus riding a stegosaur at the Creation Museum, in the words of Bill Hicks, “O, what a huge fuckin’ lizard, Lord”.
These are folks who have created the concept of the ‘Home-Schooling Co-op’, under the theory that a whole fuckpile of people who don’t know what they are doing add up to a thing and stuff.
These are the quiverfull folk who believe in having a duggar of children and breast-feeding them to the age of 36 or home school graduation, whichever comes first.
These are the folks who hate things like wisdom, logic, and holy goddammit there’s a ni-clang in the White House and he’s not carrying a broom, and thus are prepared to put Willard Mitt Romney, the original human paraquat, into an office that theoretically serves at the pleasure of the people. Noah Webster has just thrown up a bit in his skull.
These are the people prepared to vote for the indicted Paul Ryan. The story is not out yet, but a truth escaped his lips in Ohio, and he was forced to use his P-90 skilz to pull each individual up a mountain in under 45 minutes and, ahem, trim the budget.
Fuck them. Fuck them all. Hell, I’ll dip into my well-worn home improvement credit card to supply the chainsaws and Oxygen chamber to promote rapid rust formation. The reason the paper ballot has disappeared over the last few years? A large portion of the population does not know which end of a pencil to use.
Bill Nye. Bill Fuckin’ Nye. Icon to young geeks, old too. Bill Nye is the ruination of ‘Merca, imputing dreadful liberal visions like, hey, What do you see? Think about it, try to learn how it works? Use your mind? Be Curious? commie hogwash.
It’s amazing that sperm that damaged/irradiated/dead can make it to an egg two weeks before the egg is released. Wonder how that worksBLASPHEMER!!!!
Jesus Christ eating potato salad I am sick of these willfully retrograde loonicidal maniacs.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/chrisgeidner/the-most-anti-gay-piece-of-political-mail-this-yea
OO LAH LAH! The most homoerotic too!
Major Kong or any other Ohiohiohioans want to comment?
http://wonkette.com/483752/fifteen-percent-of-ohio-republicans-mitt-romney-killed-bin-laden#more-483752
If there’s no such thing as evolution, how come Asians never have red or blond hair?
Major Kong or any other Ohiohiohioans want to comment?
Our state’s namesake (Buckeye) is a poisonous nut.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ohio_buckeye
’nuff said
I beg to differ.
Whalechowder owes you an ahem, N_B. I owe you a titty twister since I had JUST finished putting that out of mind with a football game.
From now on, THE Ohio State shall be named the fuckwits instead of buckeyes. Make it so number 2
Mmmmm Jessica Rabbit. Off to me bunk, lads.
Goddammit tsam, I was here first!
tsam wants to play with my titties! …swoon…
Paletnebuacutycs rant, set to music!
Lyrics, below.
And don’t worry, Paleo, I’m really really fast. You can have the bunk as soon as I’m … Oh, here we go. All yours, bro.
More Slayer for the intellectually curious
And angry. Stick with this one for the interlude in the middle. BEST CHANGEUP IN THE HISTORY OF MUSIC. Accept it or die.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/chrisgeidner/the-most-anti-gay-piece-of-political-mail-this-yea
Did you follow the “series of incidents” link? Hilarious. But maybe he’s just being made an “escape goat.”
tsam wants to play with my titties! …swoon…
Sheesh, get a room. WITH A CAMERA.
First I have to get some titties.
Sheesh, get a room. WITH A CAMERA.
You’re welcome to join us…
NOW GO LISTEN TO MY SLAYER VIDEOS.
wait–WATCH the slayer videos. Well, watch and listen. Yeah.
Heh–nobody empties a room like Slayer.
\m/ > . < \m/
What’s not to love about celebrations of Nazi death camps?
It’s a liberal blog after all.
I didnt catch the celebratory tone. ?
Sub has no sense of humor, apparently.
apparently some bitches want her to put down the burger and become a boney anorexic and maybe smile a whole lot less…
Good grief. That site is fairly ill, and that’s after they put up the furiously backpedaling “no, we aren’t pro-anorexia!” disclaimer. Where on earth do they get the idea that there’s any celebration of gluttony among female celebs? And yeah, Kate Upton = fat? I don’t think so.
We should send Christina Hendricks around that blog to kick ’em in the junk.
And now, for no reason, another picture of Yaya Han.
for no reason
There are all kinds of reasons for that picture.
And speakin’ of crashes, I narrowly avoided an early Thanksgiving dinner this morning. About 15 turkey hens and their poults were in the road about three blocks from work as I was rolling in, and the September sun was right in me lookie-orbs.
.
That’s me!
It’s a joke, relax. But Angel of Death is a song about cool ways Dr. Mengele figured out to kill people. I mean, the song ends and you don’t go “man, that is so tragic” you wait for “Piece By Piece” to start, which is also coincidentally all about tearing people to pieces.
In short, I love Slayer, but Slayer are pretty dumb. People were angry about “Angel of Death” when it was released, and it’s hard to fault them for it.
As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.
If Bill Nye is Satanic does that make Michio Kaku a pagan?
I’ve got my Ticket to Heaven right here.
And the fact is there is no science, only
ZuulGod! When the seas rise up to drown you all it will not be because of science and global warming, it wil be because of God and gay marriage and aborting all the rape babies!!!If turkeys could fly, this place would be an airport!
Instead of poults young turkeys should be called goblets.
But seriously, what would happen if you dropped domestic turkeys from two thousand feet? Wild turkeys can fly, I’ve seen them do it. Domestic turkeys are just the same bird weighing something like twice as much[1]. The wiki tells me that young domesticated turkeys can fly short distances. The adults still have wings and flight feathers. And the hard-wired reflexes and thought patterns required to co-ordinate flight. Sure their thrust to weight ratio is all messed up, but plummeting from altitude would get them up to speed toot sweet. Surely they could have glided to a safe landing.
[1] Note too, “Turkeys Away” is from 1978. Turkey weights have increased significantly since then.
I have a rescued Cockatoo, when I first got him he had obviously not flown for quite some time. His feathers were not clipped, but he was not able to maintain level flight at all and after just a couple seconds he would crash land into a tired out panting heap of feathers on the ground. I’m guessing that you add to this all the extra weight and you will get worn out and possibly damaged flight muscles long before the two thousand feet are covered. I believe you would get plummetting. Probably with the added bonus of serious flailing of innefective wings as they come down on your head.
Sure, level flight out of the question. But as soon at the speed they’d be going if they plummeted, any amount of wing flapping is going to start them into a glide. They don’t need to be able to produce thrust once they are going that fast, just to be able to adjust their path enough to avoid splatting.
Even if they nearly exhaust themselves in the first few breathtaking seconds of freefall, they only need to be able to hold their wings out long enough to change their trajectory into a less vertical one.
Your flight challenged Cockatoo could get airborne and stay there for a few seconds and manage a landing he could walk away from. Sure he didn’t have an entire extra Cockatoo’s worth of succulent breast meat strapped to his chest, but he shows that basic knowhow of not crashing into the cold hard unforgiving earth is something that birds never forget.
Whoa. Imma check my other pants to see if I left my English in there.
Whoa. Well whaddayaknow. I learn a little everyday. Mostly I learn how I hate humanity.
Wild turkeys can sort-of fly. They suck at takeoff and can’t get much altitude. Like maybe 5 feet. I am familiar with their habits in mountanous terrain where they take off like a hang glider. They can glide pretty well. I hit an airborn turkey with a 12 gauge no more than 30 feet away. Damn thing tumbled midair, righted itself and kept on going.
Mostly I learn how I hate humanity.
Really. Judging them solely by their gams is HORRIBLE!
Maybe them scrapple and donut fed PA turkeys are like that but the wild turkeys I’ve seen are pretty good fliers. When surprised in my back yard they’ll clear the 40 foot pines easily and stay in flight for a 1/4 mile. They’d rather run and in open ground their legs spin just like that cartoon roadrunner.
Even if they nearly exhaust themselves in the first few breathtaking seconds of freefall, they only need to be able to hold their wings out long enough to change their trajectory into a less vertical one.
They may have the strenghth to hold their wings out and glide, but I garauntee you that a domestic turkey suddenly faced with a two thousand foot drop will flap for all he’s worth for as long as he can (which I’m afraid won’t be very long) and after that there will be no strength left even for gliding.
A pair of our backyard toms doing the synchronized strut.
For those who care enough to click on my nym, my annual anti-truther posts o’ links are up.
It’s a joke, relax. But Angel of Death is a song about cool ways Dr. Mengele figured out to kill people. I mean, the song ends and you don’t go “man, that is so tragic” you wait for “Piece By Piece” to start, which is also coincidentally all about tearing people to pieces.
So was my joke about not having a sense of humor about the graphic depictions of nazi experiments…
I always skipped to “Jesus Saves” instead of listening to that dumbass POS song “Piece By Piece” and then on to “Raining Blood”.
Yes, Slayer’s whole “here use this shit to scare the fuck out of your parents and make your little geeky ass look tough to the jocks at school” program was gimmicky and stupid. Later they did a little bio-song about Ed Gein which was a torment to endure. I love Slayer too, and I don’t take anything they did as anything other than window dressing for a band that had a fucking fantastic pair of guitar players and fucking beast of a drummer. The lyrics and “Satan will eat your face for lunch” motifs are nothing more than a disguise for a real lack of ability to write something meaningful–or maybe just a desire to push those buttons in their audience because that’s what sells.
And yes, Slayer, Metallica, Anthrax, Megadeth, all pretty dumb shit, but I still love it and still regularly listen to all of it when the mood strikes. It gets regular rotation with old school punk and Pink Floyd, then on to shit like Adele and Duffy, then Garbage, then Muse, then John Mellencamp, Leonard Cohen…
I’ve always been fairly proud of my relatively eclectic music tastes until I saw Sub’s playlists and realized I don’t know much of shit about music.
Slayer, Metallica, Anthrax, Megadeth
It seems unfair to discuss My Little Pony without VS here.
It seems unfair to discuss My Little Pony without VS here.
It’s OK, I’m a doctor.
Also, that friend of yours–brilliant writer. I think I’ve read that essay before, but it’s always worth another read. Nice insight for those of us that are 3000 miles removed from the situation and never could really comprehend what it must have been like back then–or today, for that matter.
I’m currently lying in bed with a cold. If I got up and opened the blinds I’d be looking at the WTC site.
But I won’t.
How close were you to the WTC that day?
my annual anti-truther posts o’ links are up.
Gawd. The idiots with the “9-11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB” banners were out on the freeway overpass this morning. I wanted to flip them off but chose instead not to acknowledge them at all.
Well, on my lunch break I listened to a Budgie tune that Metallica covered. Then a tune from Weird Al’s bass player. Something new from Mark Knopfler. Something old and obscure from my mispent youth. Somthing new from Ian Anderson as I’m going to see him in a couple weeks. And just to stretch my eclecticity, Upyerockye from Saor Patrol.
tsam said,
September 11, 2012 at 18:57
How close were you to the WTC that day?
Not very. I lived and worked in midtown then. My issues all have to do with being at the site working starting on the 12th.
Just getting to the end of the C’s I haven’t rated yet, but I’ve heard some of these and if they didn’t make an impression it bodes ill. Next up:
Anunciaçao ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Caetano Veloso
Mountain Music Part I |||||||||||||||| Culpeper's Orchard
I Want Your Love ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Chic
Graduation Day |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Chris Isaak
House Of Blue Lights |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Crowbar
Atom Tan |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| The Clash
Caliope Jane |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| The Charioteers
Narcissique ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Caroline Loeb
It's an Old Southern Custom | Cliff "Ukelele Ike" Edwards
Have It Your Way ||||||||||||||||||||||||| Circle Of Fire
Narcissique ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Caroline Loeb
Love's Got A Hold On Me ||||||||||||||||||||| Cheap Trick
Writing on the Wall ||||||||||||||||||||||||| Cheap Trick
Return To Me |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Chris Isaak
In From The Outside |||||||||||||||||||||||||| Cinderella
Uptown ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| The Crystals
High ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| The Cure
Tighten Up! |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| The Comet Gain
Caliope Jane |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| The Charioteers
Atom Tan |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| The Clash
The Red State trike force shop is on TGOS: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/09/11/1130399/-RedState-com-to-ban-users-quoting-FACT-CHECKERS-not-snark-these-idiots-really-mean-it
Something new from Mark Knopfler.
GENIUS. One of my guitar influences/idols. I love his minimalist style. I struggle with that–I’m all about volume, distortion, gain and enough echo and delay to make sure nobody knows how badly I SUCK.
Making Movies is a pretty good record to play along to.
I’m not sure what the difference between quoting actual facts or letting Politifact do the talking would be to RSTF. I think they already ban people who interrupt their discourse with anything factual or not meeting the clinical definition of incredibly stupid/insane. I don’t think this is a policy change for RSTF.
The Red State trike force shop is on TGOS
The great thing about eliminating fact checkers is that now 9/11 did not happen under Bush, but Bush got Bin Laden. Pretty cool, huh?
I see you got some Cure on your list–
Do you have “Shake Dog Shake” from “The Top” album? Great song. See also: 10:15 Saturday Night, and Give Me It. PROTIP, find the versions on the album called “Concert”. These are songs that are better live than on the record.
Our wedding was a little bit untraditional – I walked my bride down the aisle and no one “gave her away”. Anywho, our entrance music was a Mark Knopfler piece.
The great thing about eliminating fact checkers is that now 9/11 did not happen under Bush, but Bush got Bin Laden. Pretty cool, huh?
In Ohio, Romney killed Bin Laden.
I believe the current policy at RSTF is that you may not argue agianst them in bad faith, good faith or no faith whatsoever. You may, however, argue in favor in any manor you choose, but making up “facts” that support the argument is the preferred method.
Grouch Marx shot an elephant in his pajamas.
Grouch Oscar has an elephant in his can.
Grouch Grinch put reindeer antlers on his elephant.
Grouch Old Party has an elephant for a mascot.
Newt Gingrouch bought his wife a diamond the size of an elephant – or was it that he bought his elephant a diamond the size of his wife,,,
Was that his second or third elephant?
Nigrinch Tufnel’s amps go all the way to elephant.
Elephant Walk, Elephant Talk and elephants are dancing on the graves of squeeling mice.
yes, Slayer, Metallica, Anthrax, Megadeth
Rule1314: Relevant Nerdp0rn of it exists. No exceptions.
yes, Slayer, Metallica, Anthrax, Megadeth
I don’t think Yes really belongs on that list.
Hmmm, I have a Bacon and a Sabbath number and if contributing animated gifs to Smut Clyde counts I must have an Erdos number.
I don’t think Yes really belongs on that list.
Not that one, but they are on my “OH GOD PLEASE DON’T PUT THAT SHIT IN” list. I can’t listen to them.
See, Yes is the only one on the list I CAN listen to. Oh well, that way everybody sells some records.
What was that elephant doing in Grouch’s pee jays?
The backstroke.
Since I listen to all of them I think I can say that Slayer’s lyrics make more sense than Jon Anderson’s.
I don’t know where you nominate dudes, but I think Dexter Holland would light up that E-B-S scoreboard.
Elephants look HILARIOUS in pajamas. Especially the ones with little elephants all over them. But NOT mice. Never mice.
Since I listen to all of them I think I can say that Slayer’s lyrics make more sense than Jon Anderson’s.
I’m sure you’re right, but even Siberia goes through the motions.
Why doesn’t anybody want to talk about the elephant in the room?
Because its rude to gossip
But I need to know how to get down off of it!
The Elephant’s tail is made of rope
It’s a hempephant.
An elephant is soft and mushy.
even Siberia goes through the motions.
I can remember a time when, all musical and cultural judgements aside, how one felt about bands or musicians was significantly biased by whether they would, in performance or association, get one laid. In those misty, far-off times Yes worked for me. Those others not so much. Hence I have given up the right to have an opinion on their music.
That this puts Megadeth in the same bag as Coltrane (but not Stan Getz!) is part of the imponderable.
Oh gee, I almost missed a conversation about Yes.
how one felt about bands or musicians was significantly biased by whether they would, in performance or association, get one laid
If this is the yardstick, then The Grateful Dead is the greatest band of all time.
Of course, if the music has to still be enjoyable after the drugs wear off, then for me it would be Van Halen.
But if it’s actual appreciation of both composition and execution, then I’ll also vote for Yes.
The economy is soft and mushy
http://www.gocomics.com/tonyauth/2012/09/06
how one felt about bands or musicians was significantly biased by whether they would, in performance or association, get one laid
In my case that would mean that every band pretty much sucked.
If this is the yardstick, then The Grateful Dead is the greatest band of all time.
I don’t know–that stuff they play at raves, where everyone is E-tarded my have the title now. You also have to look at pure longevity in statistical comparison. That whole Grateful Dead thing didn’t last all that long. Elvis and The Beatles, however, wow. LONG time. But for density of occurences in time, yeah, I spose the Grateful Dead might be the champ…
In my case that would mean that every band pretty much sucked.
See, ya should have gotten all the Slayer albums. You torture a chick with them for a couple of hours, and she’ll do ANYTHING to get you to turn that shit off.
I had a friend who attempted to be a Slayer groupie but was turned away backstage for being too nice.
Don’t know if that’s a win or a loss.
I’m going to go with win, and quote a famous person I believe was mentioned above:
“I would never be a member of any club that would have me as a member.”
Jeebus the comments at that site are stupid as fuck.
(And, yes, I managed to not drown myself in beer yesterday. I know you were all concerned. We’ll see what happens tonight.)
I thought I’d killed it, but Tintin just dropped in with a new post… That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!
it is funny