Can We Make Our Hostility to Consent Any Creepier? I Think We Can!
Turn around. I just want to hug you, you filthy dyke bitch.
Matt C Abbot, Rape America:
On Todd Akin and a gay wedding’s priest
So if you haven’t yet heard of Todd Akin before this post, you’ve apparently been living happily under a rock for the last couple of days or so.
Todd Akin is the Republican nominee competing for Clare McCaskill’s (RpretendingtobeaD-Missouri) seat in the US Senate.
And in the twist ending to surpass all twist endings, it turns out Akin… is a douchebag! Despite being a conservative anti-choicer!
I know, I was just as blown away as you. Since this is an election season and the Republicans are starting to worry about needing little things like actual voters to win elections, he’s actually gotten a decent amount of pushback from the Republican Party*****. And since in conservaland, there is literally no inhuman action you can commit or inhuman statement you can vomit forth that won’t be applauded by the 27%, he’s gotten a resurgence of support from some of the most… “special” of sources.
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- Saying that rape victims who get pregnant from their rapists must have wanted to be raped is not nearly as bad as showing up to a gay wedding.
Yeah… this is a real post.
So I suppose before we get into the desperate apology, we should cover the statement that got Todd Akin into so much trouble*.
From what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.
But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something. I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist and not attacking the child.
Cause apparently women are ducks. The anti-choice movement has been quick to try and claim this biology-fail/empathy-fail is a once-off by a dimwit, but let’s be absolutely frank.
This is standard anti-choice belief. Anti-choicers have always viewed the sperm as the sacred giver of life, have always either dismissed or championed rape as a way to “keep women in line” and have often said some utterly fucked up things about consent and a belief that “good girls” don’t get into these situations because of some kind of divine protection.
Remember Bill Napoli from South Dakota and his divinely inspired beliefs on what makes a “real rape victim”?
A real-life description to me would be a rape victim, brutally raped, savaged. The girl was a virgin. She was religious. She planned on saving her virginity until she was married. She was brutalized and raped, sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it, and is impregnated. I mean, that girl could be so messed up, physically and psychologically, that carrying that child could very well threaten her life.
Hell, we don’t even need to jump in the wayback machine. Let’s look to fellow US House representative Steve King:
King jumped right in and took it a step further in an interview with KMEG-TV, stating that he had never heard of a girl getting pregnant from incest or statutory rape:
“Well, I just haven’t heard of that being a circumstance that’s been brought to me in any personal way and I’d be open to hearing discussion about that subject matter. Generally speaking it’s this: that there [are] millions of abortions in this country every year. Millions of them are paid for at least in part by taxpayers. I think it’s immoral for us to compel conscientious objecting taxpayers to fund abortion through the federal government, or any other government for that matter. So that’s my stand. And if there are exceptions there, then bring me those exceptions, let’s talk about it. In the meantime it’s wrong for us to compel pro-life people to pay taxes to fund abortion.
Or Professional Hammer Magnet, Bryan Fischer:
The host of the talk radio show Focal Point said that the trauma from a “real, genuine rape, a case of forcible rape” would make it “difficult” for a woman to conceive a child, Right Wing Watch notes.
“There’s a very delicate and complex mix of hormones that take place — that are released — in a woman’s body, and if that gets interfered with, it may make it impossible for her or difficult in that particular circumstance to conceive a child,” Fischer said during his show Monday.
“That’s all Todd Akin is saying…and he’s absolutely right about that,” he continued.
Cause it turns out that bitter repressed sexphobes with a hate on for biology don’t really bother learning about the filthy squishy biology of those inferior woman creatures. Instead they choose to believe whatever random nonsense it takes to make the sputtering death gasps of their battered consciences finally take their overly-prolonged dirt naps.
And that’s an important point to notice for those of us with squishy female bodies especially as said mouthbreathers keep demanding to be unilaterally put in charge of what medical attention we should and should not receive.
And really that’s all that can be said-
Fine. Okay, yes, the post in question… Sigh, do I have to?
All right, for the blockquotes that come next, I urge you to read everything in the most cartoonish villain voice you can think of. It’s what I’m doing and it’s the only way I can get through this post without trying to strangle the author with the fallopian tubes I wish I had.
By the time you read this, U.S. Senate hopeful Todd Akin (R-Missouri) may have dropped out of the race. Or perhaps not. We’ll see.
In expressing the logical, consistent, and admirable position that rape, while deplorable and criminal, doesn’t justify an abortion — as opposed to the illogical, inconsistent, and falsely compassionate position that rape does justify an abortion — Akin used a very poor and perplexing choice of words, thus effectively sinking his candidacy.
Muahahaha! Indeed the foolish knave’s only crime was deigning to explain biological reality to the simpletons below my dread tower. If only he had noted that bitches deserve to carry their rapist’s seed for 9 months so that said rapist can feel more like a man at the expense of our overpopulated planet and the meaningless woman’s remaining sanity and self-respect, then everything would be fine.
The unfortunate reality is, in this political climate, a gaffe like that can ruin a campaign (especially if you’re a conservative)
A liberal arguing that string theory means that rapist babies don’t exist unless that sultry 11 year old wench secretly got wet at your gasping dry-heaving would surely have gotten away with it in this permissive age. But sadly, true conservatives are held to a higher standard just because they claim the moral high ground of being held to a higher standard. Sniff. So unfair.
even though Akin is absolutely correct to oppose abortion in cases of rape.
Well, of course, if we didn’t think the bitch and her desires mattered in cases of conception, why do you think we’d randomly start caring about her desires before said act.
In case you lily-livered do-gooders didn’t notice, we’re not real big fans of this whole “female personhood” concept or this filthy liberal monkey idea of “consent”. We impregnate the females, they breed our sons. It’s really no use pretending now that you didn’t know what we were all about.
Did you really think the “good girls” would be spared just because they don’t view themselves as the sort of “bad girl sluts” who deserve punishment?
What pathetic naivety.
What should Akin have said when asked about a rape exception for abortion?
Some bullshit.
On a related note, Steven Ertelt of LifeNews.com writes:
Some other bullshit
Sorry for not including these, but fuck this noise. The anti-choice bastards don’t get to have some mystical airy-fairy conversation on the propaganda they allow into the public debate. They get to have a debate on the actual beliefs their actual believers have that shape their twisted little worldview on female subjugation.
I’m not going to trade words with them on “what is the sound of one dividing cell fapping” when they’re going around spreading myths about how you didn’t rape that woman if you can force her to conceive your rape baby and that raping your kids is a victimless crime.
Yeah, anti-choice psychos, you’ve let your id run wild where everyone can be utterly terrified of it and you don’t get to just shove it back in the box because people don’t like it as much as all the insinuation and paeans to TEH BABIEZ!
DEAL WITH IT.
Ugh, let me get back in character. Okay, tying the girl to the train tracks and GO:
Now on to the “gay wedding’s priest” story. No, no — it’s not “gay priest’s wedding.” It is indeed “gay wedding’s priest.”
From Catholic World News:
A New York Times notice about the wedding of two homosexual men listed a Catholic priest as ‘assisting’ at the ceremony. A Lutheran minister presided at the same-sex wedding, celebrated on a chartered yacht. But The Times added that Father Michael DeVito, the cousin of one of the wedding partners, also took part in the ceremony. Father Michael DeVito is the pastor of Sacred Heart Church in Suffield, Connecticut, and a member of the presbyteral council for the Hartford archdiocese.
Now, let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that Father DeVito really didn’t assist (whatever that means) at the ceremony. Why would he even attend the ceremony to begin with?
Family only matters when its being used to explain why daddy’s little princess can’t move away to college and needs to stay at home helping raise the miracle baby daddy put in her when she was 13.
How dare the homosexual hordes pervert that by arguing that people should actually care about the lives of familial relations and be involved in important moments of their life!
Morally speaking, being a relative isn’t a legitimate excuse.
A true Catholic would have garroted that filthy homosexual with his clerical collar before the first organ number. MUAHAHAHA!
It’s still scandalous.
Being seen in public with some dirty queer or woman is infinitely worse than arguing that biology proves that girls actually like it when you rape them so no crime was committed.
What evidence do I have of this?
Well, normally I’d say Natural Law, evopsych, the Bible.
But really, I don’t think we need to bother anyone with any of that. It really would just be a waste of effort.
And wouldn’t you know…The New York Times covered the whole thing.
I know, seems like a bit of a cop-out of an ending, doesn’t it. Wasn’t my best, but it really didn’t matter. All it needed to do was distract you enough to let me slip behind you.
It really is amazing all the uses one can use a clerical collar for. It’s a shame you won’t be able to stay conscious enough to notice half of them, hee hee hee.
(singing)Rock a bye, baby, in the tree-top…
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Giving you nightmares is invented by the entirety of narrative tradition, but used briefly here by me. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*Hey, want to know the origin of this trickling down of bizarre psuedoscience? The Nazis. And I’m not even joking about that. It’s from a nazi experiment** where they mock-killed women about to ovulate and said they noticed that most of the starving traumatized women didn’t ovulate. Note here that the Nazis didn’t say zero percent. So, yeah, the Republican candidate for the US Senate seat of Missouri is more extreme than nazi death camp doctors… And I think Godwin’s Law just shot itself.
**The person who mainstreamed said Nazi experiment for the nascent “pro-life” movement back in the Late 70s was an OB/GYN administrator called Dr. Fred Mecklenburg. You may better know his wife who became the chairwoman of the National Right to Life Committee. Some other stellar “scientific ideas” from the good doctor?***
***Mecklenburg said it was likely that the rapists — because of “frequent masturbation” — were unlikely to be fertile themselves.
Yeah… I think it’s safe to say that this clown was quite likely the worst OB/GYN in the history of gynecology and I feel deep sadness for every woman who had to suffer his pants-on-head level of care.****
****Also, to reiterate my early serious point. Mecklenburg’s bizarre speculation on how sex organs work was published a year after Roe v Wade and disseminated heavily by his wife who was the leader of one of the major anti-choice organizations in close partnership with the rest. This wasn’t some fringe idea by some 12 person congregation in Bumfuck, Alabama. This was as close as you’re likely to get to a policy paper for the movement.
This is the sort of shit they tell their fellow-travelers when they think no one is listening. The sort of stuff that is gleefully passed around because we’re too faint of heart to actually investigate further into their beliefs than “they claim to love babies”. So instead we get a bunch of faux-concern hand-wringing about fetal heart rates and other abiological horse-pucky, while they are force-feeding their followers a steady diet of “rapists can’t conceive so rape victims are lying about needing abortions”. The sooner we bring this shit into the light and make everyone take a good hard look at it, the sooner we can break the unearned break these monsters get simply because they abuse the tendency of humans to anthropomorphize potential.
*****But not nearly enough.
Existence = consent
“There’s a very delicate and complex mix of hormones that take place — that are released — in a woman’s body, and if that gets interfered with, it may make it impossible for her or difficult in that particular circumstance to conceive a child,” Fischer said during his show Monday.
If that were true, then Andrea Yates would have no more children than she wanted or could handle.
The “stress prevents ovulation” version was how it was taught to me way back in Catholic grade school. I wonder if they had to whitewash the ovulation part because people might notice that hormonal birth control prevents ovulation, and hey, you just said that’s not an abortion! Of they’re afraid that if they acknowledge that the woman doesn’t conceive the instant the man ejaculates, then sperm aren’t really magic!
Or maybe they just don’t know or care to know how female reproduction works. Like their TVs or cars or other entertainment devices around the house…
I urge you to read everything in the most cartoonish villain voice you can think of.
I read it as Mickey Mouse. He’s evil, right?
That’s why it’s a good idea to always play recordings of car crashes or air-raid sirens when you copulate.
I think we’re missing an as-yet-unmined well of wingnut stupidity here. Follow along:
* “Stress” supposedly causes a fertilized egg to fail to implant
* Preventing implantation is, as every good forced-birther knows, just like killing a baby (see also their stance on hormonal birth control, etc)
* Therefore all baby-aquariums that *might* get pregnant should be immediately hospitalized and kept under sedation, lest the get stressed out and anger SKY JEEBUS with their refusal to birth babies
Like a goddamn Slip-n-Slide to “A Handmaid’s Tale”, these folks…
Phooste!!
Correct me if I’m wrong, but we have just proven that conservatives believe that women are literally toxic.
The “stress prevents ovulation” version was how it was taught to me way back in Catholic grade school.
I remember the old Sassy magazine quoted a nun who ran an abstinence program. She said victims of gang rape don’t get pregnant because “the juices don’t flow,” or some nonsense that matched what that idiot in NC or wherever said.
Millions of them are paid for at least in part by taxpayers
Hyde amendment, anyone? These fuckers lie and lie and no one ever calls them on it. Besides which one of their go-to arguments against Planned Parenthood is what a profit center abortion is – PP doesn’t care about women, it’s about the money! If abortion were so lucrative it would reduce the taxpayer funding PP would otherwise need… OMG taxpayers are actually funded by abortion!
The “stress prevents ovulation” version was how it was taught to me way back in Catholic grade school.
Smut recently pointed out this belief is based on Nazi concentration camp research.
Akin is absolutely correct to oppose abortion in cases of rape
…
Why would [Father DeVito] even attend the ceremony to begin with?
Morally speaking, being a relative isn’t a legitimate excuse. It’s still scandalous.
YEAH WE GOT IT, you’re against people making their own choices no matter how much not your fucking business it is.
And it’s we who are wrong to bring our kids up not to look down on women. We who are bringing up strong and confident girls ready to compete in the world. As opposed to baby incubators.
Yech, I be sick now.
I remember the old Sassy magazine quoted a nun who ran an abstinence program. She said victims of gang rape don’t get pregnant because “the juices don’t flow,” or some nonsense that matched what that idiot in NC or wherever said.
Yeah, that’s one of the bigger tells right there.
The “juices” don’t “flow”, because all that matters is the sperm.
Oh sure, they are forced to acknowledge that women might play some small role in the creation of new life, but damned if they are going to care beyond that. So if the woman needs to be involved it must be in the production of “girl sperm” that mixes with or better yet, aids the travel of the proper man sperm into the womb so it may create the homunculus baby by sheer manly will. That 9 month delay is just the woman’s body recovering from the shock of having that much manly energy deposited in their weak female gut.
But hey, what the hell do we expect from a religion that believes that God raped his splooge inside of Mary and that created an 100% God baby and a pregnant woman who was still a virgin because the cum cannon didn’t involve a penis?
And yes, I’m damn happy now that the forced birth movement has to stand behind their actual beliefs in public instead of hiding behind the usual bullshit of “all baby life is precious” and “is it really up to us to say when fetal ensoulment occurs, so let’s just air on the side of instantaneously”.
The more these inbred morons have to defend the “female juices” theory of impregnation and their utter contempt for consent, the more we can move away from our collective issues about “yes, sure, women are people in theory, but I don’t like that bitch Jenny getting away with not putting out for me at prom like the slut she is” and back to remembering that its medical and scientific professionals who should be the only ones weighing in on a goddamn medical procedure.
Maybe then we can also get over our bullshit in thinking a bunch of high school dropouts should get to weigh in on what biology is taught in our biology classes because “magic book”.
The “stress prevents ovulation” version was how it was taught to me…
I always make my date take a trigonometry test during sex, it’s cheaper than condoms.
Or only have sex during job interviews.
Yes, she may be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be terrifying.
Cause apparently women are ducks.
“Stress = infertility” doesn’t work for ducks either.
Female ducks have that special corkscrew vagina that makes rape difficult though. I guess if human women really didn’t want to be impregnated they could evolve one of those.
Farts!
Like a goddamn Slip-n-Slide to “A Handmaid’s Tale”, these folks…
/Golf clap
…
Oh lord, a chance to use a poime lerned nigh forty year ago:
‘There once was a man named Joe McGlock,
the only man born with a corkscrew cock.
He spent his life in a fateful hunt,
to find the girl with the corkscrew cunt.
When he found her he dropped down dead,
he found her cunt had a left-hand thread’
I guess if human women really didn’t want to be impregnated they could evolve one of those..
“Evolution” is a lie. God gave human women easily rapeable vaginas because He wants women to get raped. Easily.
Here is an actual study by real doctors from 15 years ago;
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8765248
Oh sure, you and your “facts” and “science.” How’s that supposed to compare to Akin’s ex-recto conclusions that the proper “juices” don’t “flow,” huh?
Female ducks have that special corkscrew vagina that makes rape difficult though.
Exploding duck penes!
Cerb skrev:
Or, in the words of a great American playwright: “Now you listen to me, [Todd]. You have had quite an evening, quite a night for yourself, and you can’t just cut it off whenever you’ve got enough blood in your mouth.”
Also, FYWP, or possibly FY Google Chrome.
Shut up George!
In fact, irrefutable scientifimalogical evidence proves that duck-induced stress leads to catastrophic loss of sexual function.
‘My right to swing my fist ends where your nose begins…of course, if I swing my fist fast and hard enough, that point’s subject to change.’
Garsh, guys. It’s like trying to drink from a firehose around here, lately.
.
That’s what she–
OH GOD! WHAT HAVE I BECOME?!
Is that how the contraceptive pill works? By inducing stress? I have so much to learn……
*slaps forehead*
“And I think Godwin’s Law just shot itself.”
Good.
OT – On a happier note, Roy Edroso just got married. To a woman, even!
So if even the ill-begotten spawn of a rapist is a “gift of God”, then what should we call the rapist, “God incarnate”?
Oh Fluffy Kitties! And how could a god so cruel as to allow rape be so kind and thoughtful as to gum up the preggie juices during a legitimate rape? That’s one hell of a trickster god.
The following is taken from Sam Smith’s Progressive Review website. I hate copy pasting, but it’s too interesting to leave as a link.
August 24, 2012
Recovered history: Growing up with Todd Akin
From a reliable source:
Roll the tape back 50 years and I’m sitting next to [Todd Akin] in Social Studies (8th grade), and, as the teacher competently presents different sides to an historical issue, Todd leaned over to me and whispered that the teacher was wrong – according to an article in Human Events. I asked what “Human Events” was, and he described it as a publication that espouses and amplifies the views of the John Birch Society.
I turned to him and loudly answered with, “what the heck is the John Birch Society?” He quickly shushed me and put his hand to my mouth, then whispered in my ear, “Don’t ever say the name of that society out loud where anyone in this school might hear you. If you want to learn more, we can discuss it after school.” I never took him up on his offer. His comments seemed a little creepy to me, and I definitely did not want to know more about some society, whose name supposedly couldn’t be mentioned at school.
Three years after my first introduction to the John Birch Society, several of us 11th grade guys decided to take a thrill ride to the Stardust on DeBaliviere to see Evelyn West. … My dad and I religiously read Lil Orphan Annie and Dick Tracy to each other every morning. But I couldn’t help but notice the ad for the Stardust which always said, “Now appearing, Evelyn West and her $50,000 Treasure Chest, as insured by Lloyds of London.” Below it was a cartoon figure of Evelyn West – apparently a real photo would have been too risque. I loved reading that catch phrase to my dad and watching him roll his eyes.
As the years went on, I got more and more curious about what this treasure chest might actually look like. Apparently, so did a few other school mates of mine, including Todd. One evening, we all gave our parents a plausible story for what we would be doing, and we took the drive to the Stardust. Our first throat gulping moment came at the box office window. I thought for sure we would not get in. We would be yelled at, or worse, laughed at.
But, to our collective surprise, the man behind the window simply took our money, shrugged and directed us in. Once through the lobby and through the doors to the theater we were enveloped in complete darkness except for a single spotlight on a man telling jokes on stage.
We quickly aimed for the closest table, which happened to be right against the back wall near the door from which we just came in. I hoped that no one noticed us coming in or sitting down. We quietly watched the “comedian” who was not very funny to us, at all. Then came an intermission followed by Evelyn West coming on stage. She surprised me by talking directly out into the audience, then proceeded to engage in a burlesque strip to music. She got down to bare essentials and we were all having the time of our lives.
It was a little difficult seeing everything from our back row, but it looked like her “Treasure Chest” was still covered by some sort of sheer/semi-transparent/nylon material that somehow clipped back up to a shoulder strap on each side. At that point she suddenly stopped her dance, looked out into the audience, and said, “I don’t think everyone out there is paying attention”. Of course, we didn’t agree, since we were definitely paying attention.
Then, to our surprise, she dropped down off the stage and began engaging with a few of the tables up front. She was very funny with impromptu, off-the-cuff remarks and we were thoroughly enjoying it. However, we started getting a little nervous as she continued to move through the audience towards the back wall, where we were sitting.
Then, without warning, the spotlight lit up our table and I could see Evelyn West heading directly towards us. At this point, I think I closed my eyes, tapped my shoes under the table, and prayed in every conceivable way I knew. I wanted to be immediately transported back to my bedroom in my safe house and I swore that if I could wake up with the relief that this was all a dream, I would never, ever dare to do this again.
The transport did not work. When I opened my eyes, she was standing, or rather, looming over us, as we cowed in our chairs. I’m sure she let loose with several one-liners, but most of that has been obliterated from my memory. I have no memory of the first few minutes that it took me to swallow once. I can only recall the waves of audience laughter and the very bright light of the follow-spot. I regained my composure about the time she started unclasping the material, which allowed gravity to take over and reveal the entire $50,000 treasure chest.
I couldn’t look, but I had to look, and I realized that she was immensely enjoying our reactions at the table. She looked down at herself, then looked at us, and finally said, “you know, these two should have names”. Then she put her entire treasure chest on our table and said, “I think I’ll name this one East, but what shall I name this other one?” In complete horror, I thought she was going to look at me for the answer, but instead, her eyes fell on Todd. Todd replied very confidentially, “I think you should name it West.”
From that moment, I knew that Todd had full command and mastery over the mysteries of the female body.
Roy Edroso just got married. To a woman, even!
Only one? UNDER-ACHIEVER.
Batman Villains; we have Batman Villains driving our political discussions.
Oh Fluffy Kitties!
You rang? [/Lurch]
.
But merely having a gun isn’t a violent act. Whereas jailing people for owning guns, putting them in prison, prosecuting them, these are violent acts.
Restricting soda sizes and banning trans fats, these are violent acts!
Dentistry is theft!!
Neil Armstrong is dead. I has a sad.
Whereas jailing people for owning guns, putting them in prison, prosecuting them
What country (or more realistically, what planet) is this person speaking of?
.
But merely having a gun isn’t a violent act. Whereas jailing people for owning guns, putting them in prison, prosecuting them, these are violent acts.
It just dawned on me: this doubles as in indirect defense of the Occupy Wall Street. Everything this guy is describing as “violent acts” is pretty much how the police reacted the OWS demonstrators.
Ipso-facto-abra-cadabra-doo: Both the police (the people with guns) and the protesters (the people w/out guns) were violently acting against each other simultaneously!
WAKE UP SHEEPLE.
(aaaand now I’m cross-eyed).
Restricting soda sizes and banning trans fats, these are violent acts!
Pretty much.
There’s been a big Libertarian movement for the last while now labeling any government action or regulation as an act of “force” or “violence”. So restricting soda sizes, act of violence, trying to prevent military grade hardware being sold on the street, act of violence, laws against murder, act of violence.
This logic of course doesn’t apply to things the Libertarian supports so bans against abortion, not violence, wars against brown people, not violence, police actions against the Occupy movement or “anarchists”, not violence.
A simpleton may think this is all just an attempt to try and rob the word violence of any meaning so that people calling out actual violence as violent are seen as “worrywarts” but in reality…
Oh, look, what a pretty kitty.
Oh, look, what a pretty kitty.
Thank you! Built him myself.
.
Who is Monica Crowley and why hasn’t Buzz Aldrin punched her yet?
Also… why a horizontal sci-fi lens flare at the edge of a worsted wool sleeve?
.
Whereas jailing people for owning guns, putting them in prison, prosecuting them, these are violent acts.
Sure murder is violent, but nothing as bad as prosecuting and imprisoning the killer. If you outlaw gun violence, only outlaws are gun-violated.
Also… why a horizontal sci-fi lens flare at the edge of a worsted wool sleeve?
Isn’t it a wire?
That’s what THEY want you to believe.
This logic of course doesn’t apply to things the Libertarian supports
That’s the funniest (funny sob sob, not funny ha ha) thing about the supposed anti-statism of most libertarians.
If we define policing and incarceration as violent acts, the victims are not white gun owners. The carceral state is clearly, unequivacally directed against people of color.
Libertarians will occasionally point this out as evidence that non-white people “should” support them (if they were capable of rational choice, I suppose). But the bitch of it is that the majority, when unrestrained by a strong federal government, has been even more vicious toward minorities than the agents of the state are. Even today, the more “representative” local law enforcement is the source of most of the real violence, while the federal Department of Justice is hard-pressed to constrain them.
By focusing on the right of white people to carry weapons and the supposed overreach of the national government, while caring less about the racism of local police, these folks show their true colors.
Isn’t it a wire?
Oh. I see. It’s a garotte. A very shiny one.
.
Isn’t it a wire?
Oh. I see. It’s a garotte. A very shiny one.
It was a routine assignment.
Forget the gun shit. All laws against acts of violence are themselves violent, and only by embracing violence itself could a true pacifist take a principled stand against the violence of the laws opposing violence. Therefore the only honest way to show your commitment to world peace is to run down the street pounding people on the head with a baseball bat.
And wouldn’t you know…The New York Times covered the whole thing.
Fellow doesn’t really know how wedding announcements work, does he?
Fellow doesn’t really know how wedding announcements work, does he?
For our paper of record, the Times also seems to devote a lot of coverage to one-day-only sales and back-to-school specials.
Correcting peoples’ spelling, making fun of their grammar, pointing out their logical fallacies, these are violent acts. I would think any pacifist should oppose language control because Broca’s Area ownership isn’t violent. Language control is.
Rite awn!
These fuckers lie and lie and no one ever calls them on it. Besides which one of their go-to arguments against Planned Parenthood is what a profit center abortion is – PP doesn’t care about women, it’s about the money! If abortion were so lucrative it would reduce the taxpayer funding PP would otherwise need… OMG taxpayers are actually funded by abortion!
Can’t help but comment on this – the sheer audacity and volume of lives from the lifers – as it’s rather my area of expertise. I work as a volunteer clinic guard at a local PP. This week alone I have heard (at high volume and with emphatic certainty):
– Abortion causes breast cancer.
– PP passes out condoms which are intentionally faulty. Why? So they have more pregnancies to abort! Muahahaha.
– Condoms are exactly 52% effective. (No more, no less!)
– Birth control pills don’t do anything! Wait just kidding, they cause cancer.
– All abortion clinics regularly perform abortions not only after 12 weeks, but after 21 weeks, at the whim of whomsoever may stroll in and ask for one.
– Verbatim: “Babies hate abortion. Obama loves abortion.”
– Verbatim (from a Catholic priest): “Abortion is the ultimate form of child abuse.”
– The medical establishment abandons women after abortion. (This is pure projection – crisis pregnancy centers are famed for fawning over pregnant women until they give birth, then telling them they should have kept their filthy slut legs closed and to get the fuck out.)
Now, I comprehend that my clinic crazies represent a lunatic fringe. However, listening to them is valuable in that they are candid about the deeply-held beliefs that the mainstream Christian jackasses look at as bread-and-butter philosophy, but intuitively suspect they shouldn’t utter aloud in so many words. These beliefs are so toxic, so misanthropic, that they frankly boggle my mind – but these are their beliefs. We live in a world which cannot be saved. In the name of the cause, any act can be excused. Violence can be pure, but sex cannot. God inflicts punishment upon the unworthy; this is justice, and to fight for fairness is to be at war with God. I won’t even get into the racism and the sexism because it’s just too depressing.
Now for your regularly scheduled levity.
I always make my date take a trigonometry test during sex, it’s cheaper than condoms.
I’ve tried that but it’s always worked quite in the reverse for me. Nothing quite like taking the cosine of acute angle.
Or only have sex during job interviews.
I think casting couches are so informal. Show some respect to your interviewees! Is a full sized bed with clean sheets really that hard to come by?
“it’s wrong for us to compel pro-life people to pay taxes to fund abortion.”
I like Steve King’s logic here. Does this mean he would support boxes on the tax forms that let us individual taxpayers (who pay more than 13% of our income) opt out of paying for the multi-trillion $, decades long wars in faraway Asia? Out of the TARP bailouts to bankster crooks, and corporate welfare?
Let’s try this, and the pro-lifers can all check their boxes to fund the wars and demonstrate the consistency of their reverence for (white, English-speaking) “life”.
As I reread that it strikes me that the core beliefs I listed don’t followed DIRECTLY from the ridiculous statements I hear regularly – there is an intermediate step of deduction required, incorporating other data such as (1) the fact that these people think harassment, murder and assault are fine if they prevent evil thing X, (2) the paternalistic and embarrassing way that they treat nonbelievers, women, POC, and even their own flock members, (3) how hopelessly they view the potential for real positive change, even for their headfucked definition of “positive,” and (4) how asininely willing they are to accept their shitty lives as God’s sacred will.
If there really was a God who did the things these people think their God does, all people would be ethically obligated to wage a war on that creature and His monstrous actions.
It’s wrong for us to compel criminals to pay taxes to fund law enforcement.
It’s wrong for us to compel Republicans to pay taxes to fund science and education.
Does this mean he would support boxes on the tax forms that let us individual taxpayers (who pay more than 13% of our income) opt out of paying for the multi-trillion $, decades long wars in faraway Asia?
I love ticky boxes to start with, but that ticky box would be EXTRA gratifying to check.
– Verbatim (from a Catholic priest): “Abortion is the ultimate form of child abuse.”
See, raping them isn’t so bad after all.
Smut, that particular line caused one of my fellow clinic guards, a stoical and wry man of 60, to have to take a breather inside. I personally believe I ground about a millimeter of my molars into a fine powder.
Wow what a dishonest article from Abbot. Yes, Akin has taken some flak for his position that there shouldn’t be any abortions ever, which many people disagree with.
He has taken some shit from the subtext of his words, which could be read as saying that some women lie about having been raped when they seek abortions.
But I’d like to think that the reason he’s getting so much shit is the fact that the text of his speech indicates that he’d like to legislate an issue despite being ridiculously unconversant in the facts to the point where he probably believes you can prevent pregnancy by douching with coke.
Like, yeah, okay, you didn’t mean to suggest that there was a difference between rape and rape-rape, fine, apology accepted. How does that change the “I want to massively affect the lives of millions of women based on nothing but what I’m told by the elves that live in my skull” problem?
Like, yeah, okay, you didn’t mean to suggest that there was a difference between rape and rape-rape, fine, apology accepted. How does that change the “I want to massively affect the lives of millions of women based on nothing but what I’m told by the elves that live in my skull” problem?
Special bonus: Akin is on the House Science Committee.
I like fag tail. Hate tag fail.
Devil’s in the details, innit?
he’d like to legislate an issue despite being ridiculously unconversant in the facts
Yeah, b-but he’s the only one, right?
And the other guys, who make the rules about the money and the drugs and the food and the wars……………….they all know what they’re doing…………………..right??
But I’d like to think that the reason he’s getting so much shit is the fact that the text of his speech indicates that he’d like to legislate an issue despite being ridiculously unconversant in the facts to the point where he probably believes you can prevent pregnancy by douching with coke.
We should immediately restrict women’s access to Coca Cola products in all 50 states.
What really gets me the most about Akin’s comments (and the legitimate rape comment is bad enough) is the bad science which these assholes spew about everything.
Devil’s in the details, innit?
Particularly when you’re translating the Necronomicon into Klingon.
Particularly when you’re translating the Necronomicon into Klingon.
Well, “Devil” is really a very simplified, four-dimensional human way of looking at it, but I guess it’s in the right spirit.
the bad science which these assholes spew about everything.
“Bad science” presupposes that science is a legitimate and distinct taxon of literature to said assholes. They use the aegis of “science” the same way they use the Bible: it’s a difficult source to understand without training, and so they claim it backs them up, secure in the knowledge that most folks aren’t literate enough to compare their claims to the source and see they disagree.
Actually this is a good point. The reason science is having a rough time of it lately is that most Americans today are fairly science-challenged* and are willing, indeed happy, to let some smiling guy who looks like them tell them what’s in all them books.
On a separate note: our public schools have been getting crappier & crappier for many many years. Must be an unfortunate but unrelated accident. I guess.
*And let’s not even talk about history.
Unlike the national Fox common taters, the anchors at local Fox affiliates often treat Mr. Obama with the reverence which has been afforded earlier U.S. Presidents.
WE ARE NOT DOGS, WE ARE DEVO.
It’s really the little hat popping off Seamus’s head that does it for me.
There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there always has been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that “my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.”
Isaac Asimov in 19fucking80.
Of course 1980: that’s the year that the cult of ignorance elected a lump of shit as president because he was “grandfatherly.” My grandfathers were smart and humane men, so Reagan never reminded me of anything but a midway huckster.
Yeah? Hooz this Azimov guy? Sounds like some Commie to me. What makes HIM so smart??
Now that he’s a zombie? BRANEZ!
Who cares about this when there is Prince Harry’s Knob
19fucking80
Maude, my best friend, said to me the other night, “Madame, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, dating that young kid. You should be more careful. It could be fatal.”
I said, “What the hell, Maude. If he dies, he dies!”
Mitt Romney walks into a bar.
And says “Let me order you all around.”
The topper!!
Sure, it’s an embarrassment to the royals, but at least airing the Crown Jewels put to bed the pernicious rumor that Prince Harry’s Prince Hairy has a Prince Albert.
Also: John and Substance, you deserve a beer. Perhaps I could even scrounge for two beers.
Sure, it’s an embarrassment to the royals, but at least airing the Crown Jewels put to bed the pernicious rumor that Prince Harry’s Prince Hairy has a Prince Albert.
An RAF pilot getting drunk and carrying on? I’m shocked! Why it’s unprecedented!
Note that the only time I’ve been literally staggering drunk was when I tried to drink with the RAF.
I seem to recall crawling back to my room on my lips that night.
Mitt Romney walks into a bar.
Bartender: Whadaya have, Sport?
Romney: I’d tell you, but I’m afraid you’d use it against me.
Bartender: Whadaya have, Sport?
Romney: The Koch brothers haven’t told me yet.
Bartender: Whadaya have, Sport?
Romney: Can we retroactively agree that I walked into a coffee shop instead?
Not, quite, the baby is the son of God, the rapist is God. At least that’s way it went in Nazareth @2000 years ago.
Not, quite, the baby is the son of God, the rapist is God. At least that’s way it went in Nazareth @2000 years ago.
She’s just lucky that she wasn’t turned into a heifer or a bear when the Mrs. God began to get suspicious.
And if she were, we’d be here bitching about the bogus moral authority of the Orphic or Mithraic church.
Not, quite, the baby is the son of God, the rapist is God. At least that’s way it went in Nazareth @2000 years ago.
I picked up something completely different from Al Pacino’s performance in “Devil’s Advocate.”
Speaking of godrape has led to wonder: do swans have explosive and / or corkscrew penes?
google results are inconclusive thus far, but I can confirm that human penes are sometimes shaped like swans.
Seems like an explosive PENIS would be counter-evolutionary.
Depends how effective the explosion is at impregnating every female within the blast radius.
Maggie Gallagher:
And just why is it that you’re an anti-gay maniac, Maggie?
Tony Perkins and Maggie, they have NEVER EVER demonized ANYONE EVER!
Depends how effective the explosion is at impregnating every female within the blast radius.
Hm, is that what the experts call a “shaped charge?”
But it’s not Tony and Maggie that say their opponents are not just wrong; they are evil. It’s the BIBLE* that says that!
*The bible according to Tony and Maggie
Tony Perkins and Maggie, they have NEVER EVER demonized ANYONE EVER!
…well they have but they do it out of LOVE.
Depends how effective the explosion is at impregnating every female within the blast radius.
Air burst or ground burst?
Air burst or ground burst?
Starburst. New flavor, limited time only.
Starburst.
Wait, does the swan wink too?
An RAF pilot getting drunk and carrying on? I’m shocked! Why it’s unprecedented!
1940: Never had so many had their bacon saved by so few who were so shitfaced.
Billionaire betrays royalty, huh? Perhaps all involved will battle to the death.
New post.
Speaking of godrape has led to wonder: do swans have explosive and / or corkscrew penes?
Easy test: carry a swan onto a plane and see if TSA confiscates it.