K-Lo’s Got a New Template to Copy Paste Into

And then the skies opened up and the angels sang to mark the creation of fail so hard it had become a genre unto its self. And the Lord saw it and knew it was hilarious.

Kathryn Jean Lopez, National Goo Goo G’Joob:
Becky Knows Best

K-Lo’s been on a really weird kick lately where… well, maybe I better let the shorter explain it.

Shorter Every Damn Lopez post (or the last port before the limits of my sanity):

  • This random conservative woman exists. Therefore the conservative War on Women doesn’t exist. And since that doesn’t exist, there is nothing objectionable about arguing that any woman who doesn’t want to risk pregnancy with every instance of man-on-woman God-approved vaginal penetration deserves to die like the slut she is!

So yeah.

See, if this just happened once…

Well, actually we’d mock it relentlessly because that level of delusional wishful thinking is sort of our bread and butter here on the snark circuit.

So what do we do now that K-Load is hell-bent on making this her dominant writing genre? Mock it harder?

Yes.

Of course we do. I mean, it’s sitting right there, hanging over the plate like a tee-ball demanding a good cluebatting. We’d be criminally remiss if we let it slip by without a smack or two.

So join us on Lopez’s latest magnum failus.

‘Mr. Romney wants to get rid of funding for Planned Parenthood,” President Obama said at a campaign event in Oregon. “I think that’s a bad idea. I’ve got two daughters. I want them to control their own health-care choices.”

It really must be a relief to the Anti-Sex League that they no longer have to pretend that the only thing that bothered them about Planned Parenthood was all that icky abortion stuff. Now that they’ve moved on to declaring contraception and well, really all women’s health care as the immoral actions of demons, they have become more comfortable, more honest.

And much less popular. Because people may have been willing to jump on the whole slut-shaming attacks on women (who are perceived as being less deserving than women one personally knows). But it’s really hard to separate the dirty evil sluts who deserve to burn in Hell for spurning their proper owners from the good chaste women who are the correct amount of slutty when the line is “any non-gay woman even the ones who only do missionary with their lawfully wedded husbands even though the spark has long since faded”.

So that takes out all but the most brain-washed and bitter women and most of the men too. Because even the douchiest frat boy realizes that having sex without having to worry about 18 years of child support payments is a good thing.

Leaving only the Kathryn Jean Lopii of the World, alone and abandoned and apparently so lazy they started a template program for all their desperate pleas for relevance.

In the president’s view of the world — in which Planned Parenthood helps craft White House policy —

Once again, wingnuts describe a fictional scare world that would be soooo much better than the dreary one we live in. Listen, wingnuts, it’s one thing to cripple our political system beyond repair, but can you stop taunting us with visions of a better world while you do it?

fertility is a disease,

Hey, they’ve acknowledged the whole contraception and female health care side to Planned Parenthood, but they’re not completely ready to argue that pre-natal checkups and IVF are the work of the devil… in public. They’ll hold off on that one until they’ve at least re-banned the Pill.

contraception is at the core of both health care and freedom, and backward-minded people who don’t agree need to have their liberties curtailed.

Perhaps I shouldn’t poke fun. I mean, out there, people are suffering, forced to buy and take pharmaceutical contraception against their wills. They are being denied their right to choice to carry pregnancies to term. Ruthless lawmakers are even lobbying Congress to strip them of their rights to live as bitter virgins bitching about those damn sluts and their occasional half-hearted snogs with their husbands.

At least I have to assume that’s the case, because otherwise, she’s bitching for the 50th post in a row about how unfair it is that she can’t force people who couldn’t give a fuck about her petty lifeless Deity to live by the soul-crushing “rules” that have made her such a pleasure to know.

But for Rebecca Kleefisch

Ah right, our guest woman for this post. Much like Stacy in the last post, Rebecca is here to be… female.

Kathryn’s meta-point in these posts seems to be a rather odd belief that if she can find a handful of other women with enough traumatic brain-damage to cheer on the Republican Republic of Gilead, then truly it is the liberals who are the Fascists of Liberal Sexism or something. Honestly, I’ve seen many lazy knockoffs of Jonah’s lazy schoolyard “philosophy”, but none quite so… unfocused, to put it kindly.

But really, I shouldn’t interrupt. This next section is pure gold.

But for Rebecca Kleefisch, the lieutenant governor of Wisconsin, “health care” is surviving cancer so that her two daughters could grow up with their mom, and politics calls for a healthier approach.

Oh yeah, people! This is really happening.

You may have thought that not even K-Load could possibly shit out a weaker analogy than “Obama doesn’t let a crazy woman kill herself therefore Obama is forcing her to kill herself”, but Kathryn is a fucking Olympic athlete when it comes to this shit.

You put a bar in front of her and she’s already shoving the pole vault up her ass like a trooper, itching for another go.

So now we get “this human female survived cancer, ergo women’s health care is a lie. QED bitches, no War on Women, the Pill is just the gateway drug to Beelzebub’s gigantic cock” mess.

I mean, yeah, I could point out that this “health care” wasn’t performed by the stupid bint “surviving for her kids” but actually by trained medical professionals who worked tirelessly to defeat her butt cancer (oh yes, yes it was). Trained medical professionals paid for by the People of Wisconsin as part of the cushy benefits programs state workers receive. A benefit said evil douche-canoe helped slash and burn as part of Governor Walker’s war on state workers. And a quotation-mark-health-care Republicans in general have been tirelessly campaigning to ensure none of us can benefit from.

But fuck it, that’s just the cherry on top of this delicious fail sundae.

It should not be a cynical business or experimental grounds for ideological radicals’ dream fulfillment. And she has certainly confronted the worst of ideological politics — she just became both the first lieutenant governor in the United States to face a recall and the first to survive one.

If you suspect that this elongated celebration of a narrow victory mostly won on running against the concept of recalls in general (not to mention the likely fraud that helped him win the first time) is just an attempt by wingnuts to salvage some victory in the face of the upcoming presidential election… Well, you’d be correct.

On to the whole “first to face, first to survive” thing. As far as I can see, this may be correct, but that’s really only because most Lieutenant Governors tend to not get themselves fully involved with their boss’s criminal affairs. Not to mention the fact that Cruz Bustamante was so much of a weasel that he was more than willing to switch allegiances to keep his job.

Though honestly, I’m not entirely sure Lopez is fully cognizant that “survived a recall” is anything more than a mark of shame. People only face recalls when they have either completely pissed off a populace with their flagrant criminal activities or have gotten in the way of a right-wing attempt to make recalls seem frivolous and meaningless.

It’s kind of like advertising someone as “unconvicted child molester”.

“I never really dug the ‘War on Women.’ It’s great branding — but I don’t buy that product,” explains Kleefisch, who has worked in media. “It doesn’t exist.

I know I should do the usual thing where I comment on yet another perpetuator of the War on Women claiming it doesn’t exist as if that was somehow evidence against our collective lying eyes.

But I’m more boggled by the “has worked in media” aside.

It’s completely out of left field. I’m sure the human-shaped Snorlax included it for a reason, but for the life of me I can’t figure out what it is.

She must understand advertising because she was once one of the bleach-blonde bimbos on Good Morning Milwaukee? She can’t be a lying agent for the right-wing because she’s got filthy MSM cooties on her? She once did a porno vid so she must be pro-woman?

Tell me, crazy lady! What flash of undigested beef constructed this sentence?!?

The war is on unemployment, and that’s the one I’ll continue to fight because it is the only one that really matters to my children. If we don’t have jobs, then we can’t buy eggs. If we don’t have jobs, we can’t put gas in our minivans. If we don’t have jobs, then how are we going to pay for the cleats for soccer practice?”

If we don’t have jobs, then how are we going to buy the aprons we must wear as our only clothing as we work barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen for our lords and masters, because my cynical attempt to hide behind my kids apparently got stuck at Archaic Sexist Stereotypes 101.

Also, kudos on the whole “There is no War on Women” thing. You managed to last about zero sentences before going full-tilt sexist on us. Really helps add that extra little bit of believability to the whole charade.

She finds the insistence that contraception — and even abortion — is a health-care priority of the majority of American women “insulting” and “judgmental.”

The Palin wannabe, who thinks that the only way to relate employment to those women creatures is by reminding them that that’s what allows them to buy food and shoes for their family, because otherwise they might forget and assume that the money comes from magic, wants to lecture us on “insulting” and “judgmental”.

No, I’m curious, please do go on.

“They’re saying single women care more about their sex lives than they do about making ends meet, getting a good job, and being successful living their American dream. If I was single right now, and Barack Obama’s team was trying to tell me that my birth control was more important than my ability to live my dream in America, I would be really irritated.”

No War on Women whatsoever!

I don’t think I could begin to tackle everything wrong with this bigoted pile of canine crap even with a team of mountaineers and a case of dynamite.

I mean, even if I was to follow this crazy female dog and focus only on “economic issues” and was to leave out the whole “Republican economic issues make everyone’s lives worse” part, I still run head first into a particularly massive wall.

That being that reproductive health and more specifically reproductive control is fucking critical for women being able to pursue a career of their choice. Being able to delay having children until one is economically ready for caring for them, until one is settled enough into their workplace that they don’t have to worry about how taking maternity leave is going to leave them jobless or cut out of the loop for advancement. Having the ubiquity of the forementioned countering sexist boss stereotypes about female employees not deserving equal treatment because “they are just going to leave to plop out babies anyways”. The impact pregnancies and child rearing have on education and the way it would be difficult for many women to complete high school or college if every sexual escapade or a single rape could knock you out of the game.

But then, that’s the real meat and potatoes of the whole “reproductive choice” battle. To the Professional Sexists of the World, women in the workplace is an aberration, a passing fad caused by uppity feminists forcing women to abandon their “natural place” in the “home”. And the current ramp up on reproductive rights and access is a last hail mary pass to try and undo the last 60 years where reproductive choice has allowed women to grow accustomed to careers and marriages built out of love rather than a single whoops at 16 as the assumed norm.

In short, they are defending traditional marriage. I.e. a dowry from a wealthy landowner who purchases the daughter from her father so she may care for his home, be bred with his children, and raise them until such time that the rigors of childbirth take their toll.

And yet you still shamefully slander such godly actions as a War on Women.

Honestly, you people should be ashamed of yourselves!

“It’s further insulting if you’re a poor woman,” Kleefisch says.

The millionaire apologist employed by billionaires to drain her state’s finances and give it to them is going to try and pretend to care about poor women?

You know what? I’m legitimately curious. What fresh horrors do you have for me today, devil woman?

“If you were trying to make a better life for yourself and your children, wouldn’t you be insulted that they put that as your number-one priority? Barack Obama doesn’t make the priority lists of women in this country. The women make the priority lists. And the grocery lists. And the budgets. We make 90 percent of consumer household decisions in America. Start treating us with respect.”

So, that would be a giant pile of stereotypes about middle class TV suburbanites thus demonstrating A) you think middle class is the same thing as poor, B) you have no real experiences with anyone making less than a million dollars a year because anyone else would be able to list a middle class activity that wasn’t ripped out of a Yoplait ad, and C).

Hoo boy, C). Yeah, see, those legitimately poor women out there? They aren’t worrying about grocery lists. They are worrying about whether or not they can scrounge enough up for their kids to eat if they forgo eating themselves. They aren’t worrying about budgets. Fuck, most don’t even bother with budgets because if they actually had to sit and look at the dollar amounts, they’d break down and they can’t afford to do that if they want to avoid being homeless. Those poor women fucking CARE about reproductive health care, because they literally can’t afford to take off work, drive to the nearest abortion clinic, and pay money they can’t spare to fix a “whoops”. They live in constant fear of ending up like Cousin Mary with 6 kids she can’t feed and a husband who beats her.

And I’m not even getting into how dumb this cheese-humper needs to be to not realize that women make “90% of consumer household decisions” is because we live in a society where men still aren’t expected to know what a household needs to be functional. And thus women end up buying the toilet paper, soap, groceries, etc… while C- Economics students think this means that bitches be running up their husband’s credit card with luxury yachts or whatever.

Kleefisch was speaking on a Saturday afternoon at the “Smart Girl Politics” conference in Alexandria, Va.

Snrk. Hee hee hee. Ha. Ha ha ha ha. BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA *gasp* ho ho hoo ee.

Wow.

“Smart Girl Politics”*.

Classic.

But the lieutenant governor, who takes motherhood and marriage as seriously as she does political stewardship, would be back in the Badger State before her girls’ bedtime.

I know politicians cynically exploit their families all the fucking time. Especially far-right politicians, but this is seriously bordering on cartoonish. Plus there’s an odd edge to it. Like one of her kids is going to write a tell-all book in 20 years about how she used to hold them down while Uncle Charlie had a go in them to punish them for being dirty sluts kind of an edge.

“From my corner of the world as a mom, raising two little women who one day will go to school and want a job in America, these are the things we need to prioritize, she says. ”Let’s get the economy back on track so my kids can be employed and have jobs where they can really enjoy themselves, and do exciting things, and continue to make America the country of innovators and entrepreneurs.

It is amazing how such a simple statement of humanity by Obama (“I want my daughters to grow up as full human beings, equal in our society, because I love them”) triggers so much rage, obsession, and frankly envy by the right-wing horde. It’s like their thing with science. They so want the credibility, respect, and earnestness, but they thoroughly despise the reality-based method of getting it.

See here where an attempt to spin it in favor of endless tax cuts against the rich is inherently hollow. The cynical exploitation and lack of even the bare minimum of human emotion for one’s children outside of their role as accessories for the parents just flows off these lines.

But I mean, how else could they sound? To people like Rebecca, the “plan for the children” basically consists in hoping Jesus gets back fast enough and ends the world before they can go off to college and become too polluted by the “Secular World” to get their Fastpass to Heavenland.

“I purposefully choose to focus on unemployment as the biggest challenge facing our state and this country,” she says, irritated that the White House has us wasting time talking about a manufactured crisis when the economy is a real one in the lives of too many Americans.

You know, I’ve let this slide while I covered all the other ways this whole political campaign speech fails big time, but enough is enough.

One of the big reasons that Lieutenant Governor Kleefisch and Dread Emperor Walker faced those recalls they barely survived was because of their infamous gutting of employee rights and well, jobs. In fact, they are particularly hated for not only making it easier than ever for the State and Private Employers to fire employees by the truckload for no cause, but doing so with great fervor. As of, at most, April of this year, they have fired 1446 schoolteachers. That would be 2.4% of the total teachers in a profession that already suffers from crowded classrooms and a lack of skilled professionals. And that’s just the teachers, they have fired thousands more state workers in general and have broken the law on multiple occasions to make sure employers have an easier time firing more.

Hearing this woman bitching about how Obama needs to “focus more on employment” is like listening to Franco lecture de Gaulle on “peaceful resolution of political differences”.

Kleefisch is very much the concerned mom in her good-stewardship approach to governance — if we don’t confront our problems now, the next generation will have to pay for the consequences. She expresses pride in Wisconsin’s own Congressman Paul Ryan for taking his role as House Budget Committee chairman as seriously as he does, with a sense of forward-looking moral responsibility.

You know what? I can’t even be bothered to get angry at this. In fact, I applaud it.

The more dead enders they can get backing a bill so infamously terrible that most voters assume it’s a boogeyman story Democrats made up to scare them?

Nothing but a good thing.

In many ways, it’s much like the offensive on contraceptives. There are few other things the right-wing can do to finally ensure that only the 27% could possibly find them anything other than monstrous dangerous fanatics who must be stopped at all costs.

“If we don’t get more jobs and get people who are unemployed the skills they need to take those jobs, then we’re not going to fully recover from this recession,” Kleefisch says. “And we won’t become more productive as a nation.”

When asked if she would then support some sort of Jobs program like the CCC public work program that helped lift us out of the First Great Depression or hell, even stop trying to strangle her state’s budget out of every last public job except for her’s and Walker’s, she let out a sound much like a witch’s cackle and then summoned a broomstick before flying out into the night to terrorize small children.

CNN pundits labeled the action “bold and refreshing” and are speculating on whether or not she’ll be the Smiler’s choice for VP.

As Wisconsin’s “jobs ambassador,” Kleefisch

K-Lo had to put it in scare quotes in order to prevent the words from spontaneously bursting into flames by sheer proximity to the Dark One’s name.

Kleefisch resents what the federal government is doing to future productivity and growth.

I too resent the federal government caving into their demands for more tax cuts, no new regulations, and continued stagnation in response to this Second Great Depression.

But somehow I doubt that’s what she’s talking about.

“Small-business owners are scared right now,” she reports.

They are a flower on the cusp of blossoming. A young woman child trying to make their way in a confusing sea of emotional turmoil and burgeoning sexual desire. Unsure of what they want, how they want it, or how to protect themselves against those who would abuse them.

They’d attend the Small Business Sex Education class to figure it out, but right-wingers have basically protested those to being completely useless. And so they turn to the internet…

Those damned fools.

“Our small-business owners are wondering if they even want to be entrepreneurs.

They’re thinking they want to be a fireman instead.

They’re thinking in advance, ‘How can I limit my growth?’

Eh, what now?

That’s not American. That’s not who we are.

No, go back to the whole “limiting my growth” Bizarro world shit. Cause no fucking company in a capitalist country thinks that unless its “if I do that illegal action to grow my company, the populace might revolt and spit roast me next to my dog”.

I don’t even know where-

Oh Jeebus Fucking Christ fellating a donkey, it’s about yet another tax cut for the motherfucking rich. More bullshit about how they are so overtaxed that yet again assumes that the flat taxers won and all income is subjected to the tax rate for higher levels of income so if you cross the magic barrier then you’re now paying X% more on everything.

I know, you know, they know, everyone knows that it’s a transparent lie intended to confuzzle the rubes into donating every last cent remaining in our failed state to the Super Rich before they flee overseas to live out their retirement in a real country with universal health care. But still, you’d think everyone might fucking notice that the super rich don’t seem to be all that swayed out of endless wealth for all that “fear” of “higher tax brackets”. It’s almost like they understand that more money is more money or something.

Also? Relevant.

And that’s a health-care law? A plan that’s supposed to be good for people’s health is causing our businesses to anticipate how they’re going to atrophy? It makes me sad as a small-business advocate, as a former small-business owner. That should never have been a sideeffect of a health-care bill.”

Oh Bob in Himmel, she’s Palin Junior. Fuck, she’s Bachmann Jr.

Fuck this diseased sow, I’m out. Let’s hear some more from the sub-human who thought that this unindicted criminal deserved anything other than pure contempt.

Despite President Obama’s rhetoric, Kleefisch is optimistic and delighted to be back at work after the grueling recall election. She believes Wisconsin has “built endurance as a state” and is “an example.” She’s deeply grateful for the trust of Wisconsin voters in the face of a national onslaught.

Well, yeah, she’s a grifter. Most grifters are delighted to remain in places of high authority where they can steal millions of dollars by funneling it to their campaign contributors.

Also, it’d be a bitch if she lost her government sponsored free health care. She’d then have to buy her contraceptive pills like some poor woman or something. EUGH! Gives her nightmares.

According to a new Marist poll commissioned by the Knights of Columbus, nearly eight in ten Americans are frustrated by the tone of our political discourse.

Yeah gee, I wonder whose fault THAT is.

Having gone through some of the worst of politics in recent history — with elected officials leaving the state to avoid doing their jobs

Really? That’s the worst of politics in recent history? A few Texas or Wisconsin politicians protesting abuse of regulations in service to anti-democratic gerrymandering or pure disregard for the law?

Cause, see, I probably would have gone with I dunno, maybe lying us into two wars, one of our political parties openly sabotaging the response to a Second Great Depression in the cynical hopes it would slightly aid their chances in a Presidential Election, the mass return of new Jim Crow Laws designed to disenfranchise primarily African-American voters, Arizona, all of Arizona, the repeated instances of election theft that no one seems to give a shit about, “Enhanced Interrogation”, the reopening of debate on whether or not we should even be a democracy, pretty much anything else really.

Also, not to make a big deal out of this, but how fucking long have you been carrying sour grapes over this? That shit went down years ago and you’re still smarting as if you had just been slapped by Jonah for not bringing him his bi-minute donut fast enough?

— we see some of the best of it in Kleefisch, a happy woman warrior battling those who want to insult the intelligence of Americans, a model of true public service who seeks to preserve, protect, and help a free people flourish.

I’m pretty sure there are upwards of 3 words there that aren’t flagrant falsehoods.

As the new fact-checker for Politifact, I’m going to thus rate this article as “Mostly True”.


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. This post was written entirely by my Automatic Post Writing Software using K-Lo Template 419. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


*Want extra funny? On the front page of the “Smart Girl Politics” page is a notice of their next book club book titled “Blacklash: How Obama and the Left Are Driving Americans to the Government Plantation”. The book club is run by the Founder of, wait for it… Moms 4 Sarah Palin. Forget diving for comment mangos. Check out the Smart Girl Politics website instead. It’s pure failtastic amazingness.

 

Comments: 388

 
 
 

And yeah, sorry for interrupting the discussion on the Sikh temple shooting in Milwaukee. I’m really not looking forward to the right-wing response to that one.

 
 

Swing K-Lo, Sweet Chariot…
~

 
 

“Blacklash: How Obama and the Left Are Driving Americans to the Government Plantation

At first I guffawed. Then I cried. Now I’m angry.

 
 

“Blacklash: How Obama and the Left Are Driving Americans to the Government Plantation”

Someone never got over reading “Farnham’s Freehold”.

 
 

update; although I initially included children in my casualty count, reports are that the kids were in a different part of the temple and none were harmed.

Except, of course, for the psychic scars they will carry for quite some time.

 
 

Smut, prepare the guest room. I am moving to wherever you are.

 
 

I’m really not looking forward to the right-wing response to that one.

the wingnut id will be in full flower, I am sure.

 
 

Glenn Reynolds will have to buy a new gun!

 
 

Also, apologies Cerb for not reading your post or remaining On topic.

 
 

We warned them about the brown acid, but would they listen? Nooooo!

 
 

National Goo Goo G’Joob:
I am sad to see S.N! following the sensationalist trail blazed by LGM, and cheapening the posts with coded references to walrus sex.

 
 

Right! S,N needs to follow the trail blazed by Riddled, and cheapen the posts with Tentacle furry Lovecraftian ….. umm, what kind of sex is it that you guys cheapen your posts with, again?

 
 

Auntie Podean Protests Possible Posts Pertaining to Pinniped Partay.

 
 

There is no cat-on-walrus oral sex in NZ!!

 
 

There is no cat-on-walrus oral sex in NZ!!

Depends on what Jackson does with the Hobbit.

 
 

“doing the Hobbit”

That’s not even veiled.

 
 

There is no cat-on-walrus oral sex in NZ!!

That would explain your frequent travels abroad then.

 
 

cat-on-walrus oral sex

Truly, the end days are upon us.

 
 

That’s not even veiled.
You want veils? An all-hobbit production of Salome? Ah well, cachun a son goat, sez I.

 
 

Walrus-on-cat oral sex is gret for the third cat: he gets messaged by the first two cats, each impaled on a tusk.

 
 

the first two cats, each impaled on a tusk.

That wouldn’t happen in Tuscaloosa.

 
 

Cats love Blackberries.

 
 

Pupienus, the police and FBI apparently are breaking out the T-word and calling it “domestic terrorism”.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/08/05/1117048/-CNN-Police-calling-WI-shooting-domestic-terrorism

As the diary notes, this is kind a big step forward in America.

I am not pleased that this big step is happening because of the events in Milwaukee.

 
 

I was, however, amused at the teaser at TPM that shortened the headline to to omit the communitie’s name, resulting in the headline reading “….in Wisconsin, a suburb of Milwaukee.”

 
 

Similar, I feel, to the way BBBB and Ned feel about the relationship of the rest of the country to New York.

 
 

“Country”? What’s that?

 
 

That’s where we shoot up religious institutions, Ned, rather than just try to oppose them through zoning changes and political demagoguery.

 
 

Shorter every K-Lo article: SLUTS!

 
 

he gets messaged by the first two cats, each impaled on a tusk.

We prefer to call them disagreeable objects.

 
 

umm, what kind of sex is it that you guys cheapen your posts with, again?

Wingnut sex.

 
 

Shorter Brian Williams on NBC:

If we don’t give those nice young Syrian rebels weapons, Al Qaeda will!

Weapons for Peace!
~

 
 

he gets messaged by the first two cats, each impaled on a tusk.

We prefer to call them disagreeable objects.

Blackberries are Disagreeable Objects?

Won’t get an argument from me.

 
 

Welp, so much for holding off on the Sailor Jerry’s today….

 
 

It’s time never for waiting to take a drink.

/Pastor Swank

 
 

First laugh of the afternoon, thunder. Thank you.

 
 

You didn’t drink that, zrm.
~

 
 

First I’ve heard of the Sikh temple shooting. What the hell is wrong with our society?

 
 

Guns and Paranoia, BBBB. for the short answer.

Mental instability, xenophobia, scapegoating, belief in violence, hatred, intolerance, poverty, greed, corruption, …. I could go on. Do you want me to go on?


You didn’t drink that, zrm.

O my, I certainly did.

 
 

First I’ve heard of the Sikh temple shooting.

Hope you were doing something good, like hanging out with cats.

 
 

B^4 may be a bastard but there’s no reason to believe he hangs cats. Or impales them on his tusks.

 
 

What the hell is wrong with our society?

MOOZLIMY MUSELIMS ARE MOUSLYMIEEE!!

I mean come on…………..these guys were wearing TURBANS f’Godssake!
Y’gonna tell me them ain’t MOOSLIMNSS!!1!1!!1?
What kinda CRAPP is that?/???///?

 
 

B^4 may be a bastard but there’s no reason to believe he hangs cats. Or impales them on his tusks.

from what I’ve seen, and illustrated, it seems they actually hang out on HIM.

The photo I saw was unclear as to impalement.

 
 

B^4 may be a bastard but there’s no reason to believe he hangs cats.

Also, I clearly said hanging OUT. I understand that this was difficult to make out on your Blackberry.

 
 

Pup!

For Jeffraham

Aw, sweet. And so true!

That craigslist bike looked for all the world like a variant of the Ymoto Vortec that got me started on this journey. Dog, that was a shitty decision, getting that bike.
.

 
 

Sorry I missed the earlier exchange, I was hanging out with cats. Note, I am not a walrus.

There is no cat-on-walrus oral sex in NZ!!

In NZ, the walruses take care of themselves.

 
 

Crazy fundagelical says Kermit the Frog takes a sodomy route. Kee-rist, he’s a puppet! He’s into fisting.

 
 

First I’ve heard of the Sikh temple shooting. What the hell is wrong with our society?

Too many assholes.
Too many guns.
Too many assholes with guns.

 
 

Too many assholes with guns.

That sounds to me like a shortage of holsters.

 
 

Too many assholes.
Too many guns.
Too many assholes with guns.

Depressing, isn’t it?

 
 

Too many assholes with guns.

Hey, this is a state where the inevitable fall season is accompanied by drunken hunters shooting other drunken hunters, to the point where it’s not really reported to any great extent, other than “Bumptious Q Stumpfucker died in a hunting accident near Fennimore.”

 
 

Crazy fundagelical says Kermit the Frog takes a sodomy route. Kee-rist, he’s a puppet! He’s into fisting.

they…um…do realize that muppets aren’t real, don’t they?

 
 

Too many assholes.
Too many guns.
Too many assholes with guns.

Depressing, isn’t it?

too any politicians in the nra’s pockets…even more depressing…

 
 

they…um…do realize that muppets aren’t real, don’t they?

Reality is not their friend, bbkf….

 
 

Hey, this is a state where the inevitable fall season is accompanied by drunken hunters shooting other drunken hunters, to the point where it’s not really reported to any great extent, other than “Bumptious Q Stumpfucker died in a hunting accident near Fennimore.”

not as bad here, but i will kill the next crazy pro-gun asshole who is all ‘obummer wants to take away my hunting guns!’

 
 

Reality is not their friend, bbkf….

yeah, i really goofed up on that one, didn’t i…

 
 

bbkf, one of my in-laws, a guy who I love to talk computers with, is a teabagger. Recently friended him on FB, because his wife is having serious health issues and I can keep up with the whole tragic process…

Of course, even though he is basically a smart guy, he supports Walker wholeheartedly… as a public school teacher. I guess since he is retired, he figures his pension and health care are safe. I also guess he hasn’t really paid attention to what Walker and the Kocks want to do.

Recently,his update was a link to a site “I am not voting for Obama this fall because….” and I clicked over. It was so full of lies and misinformation; the ‘coming for mah gunz’ was only part of it. It all made me despair for my fellow humans…until this afternoon, of course, when I went beyond despair.

Then I remembered I was a zombie and said “go for it breathers, you suicidal goons!”

 
 

one of my in-laws, a guy who I love to talk computers with, is a teabagger.

Gotta ask: what OS does he use? RedHat?

 
 

bbkf, one of my in-laws, a guy who I love to talk computers with, is a teabagger. Recently friended him on FB, because his wife is having serious health issues and I can keep up with the whole tragic process…

You ever engage him in the manner Blue Gal and Driftglass recommend?

 
 

gah! right?! i know plenty of people like your b.i.l. and they scare the crap outta me…in fact, just last night at our little bar downtown, i had a couple of ’em just egging me on because of course i am a huge flaming liberal…and i vociferously object to the use of the word n!gger…which i had to do again, sadly last night…but, i didn’t take the bait, for which hubbkf is both relieved and proud…i’m not sure if i’m proud of myself or not…i’m mostly thinking that i am no longer up to the task of fighting the good fight…

Recently,his update was a link to a site “I am not voting for Obama this fall because….” and I clicked over. It was so full of lies and misinformation; the ‘coming for mah gunz’ was only part of it. It all made me despair for my fellow humans…until this afternoon, of course, when I went beyond despair.

not sure if you’ve read any of my posts regarding our local publisher’s inane, insane ‘editorials’ which usually are fucking chain emails…i weep for our society…

 
 

You ever engage him in the manner Blue Gal and Driftglass recommend?

go on…

 
 

You ever engage him in the manner Blue Gal and Driftglass recommend?

Nah. Usually we are both drinking, and it is a family event. Last time I went there with a BIL at a wedding reception, he called me a pansy ass librul and I responded by saying he was a manly-man draft dodger. the resulting dust-up has become family lore, but nobody feels the need to repeat. (as a followup; at a subsequent wedding reception I was sitting at a table with that same asshole BIL — to be clear, not the same as the first one I was referring to– just prior to the 2008 election when he said “If that nigger gets elected, America is done”. I walked away, discretion, valor and all that)

Ned, he’s a MacHead. Kind of weird, in general, but I ascribe it to his DIY mentality and the early Apple 2 days…. He lives in Backwater, Fucknozzle county, where it’s not the asshole of the universe but you can see it from there. I am looking forward to his happiness when the USPS is privatized, nobody wants to deliver to DeliveranceVille, and he can’t get his SS or pension checks anymore without driving 45 minutes to civilization…

 
 

bbkf, you MUST start listening to the Professional Left podcast. Google it, or set iTunes to automatically download it every week. THEY ARE GRATE.

Plus, kittehs.

 
 

You ever engage him in the manner Blue Gal and Driftglass recommend?

I mostly stay away from tendentious stuff on Facebook.

It will surprise every last one of you that I am not as aggro in real-ish life as I am when hiding behind the veil of zombiehood.

 
 

not sure if you’ve read any of my posts

I DO NOT READ BLOGS OF THE PIXELATED.

OR WHILE PIXELATED.

ONE OF THOSE.

 
 

bbkf, you MUST start listening to the Professional Left podcast. Google it, or set iTunes to automatically download it every week. THEY ARE GRATE.

tanx…i will check it out…after all, i’ve never been steered wrong by a zombie…

 
 

I DO NOT READ BLOGS OF THE PIXELATED.

ha! those posts were on s,n! because i sometimes forget i have a blahg…

 
 

okay, and the being steered by a zombie thing just sounds weird upon re-reading…

 
 

steering the zombie

 
 

…aaaand now it sounds naughty…

 
 

They’re saying single women care more about their sex lives than they do about making ends meet, getting a good job, and being successful living their American dream.

That’s three things to think about and a fourth is just too much.

 
 

Yes, the Professional Left are good.

I think zombies actually get gelded, though, or maybe it’s wethered, rather than steered.

 
 

They’re saying single women care more about their sex lives than they do about making ends meet, getting a good job, and being successful living their American dream.

there is quite the argument going on over there in the comments…and of course nobody is talking about the real argument which is that what it boils down to is that once again, the goopers and the god-botherers pitched a fucking fit because WAAAH! my freedumbs are being attacked, which of course we all know is bullshit and they will argue against anything that even hints of people having sex…or being something that obama supports…

dumb fuckers…and most of them still don’t get how birth control works…they literally think you can just walk into a store and buy birth control pills…and that all men are down with using condoms…which are dirt cheap, btw…cuz hey! what woman doesn’t want to put faith in a method of birth control that’s cheap and unreliable!?

 
 

Last time I went there with a BIL at a wedding reception, he called me a pansy ass librul and I responded by saying he was a manly-man draft dodger. the resulting dust-up has become family lore, but nobody feels the need to repeat.

You break his nose with an axe kick? Good on you for the “draft dodger” bit- that had to have stung.

go on…

What zombie said… Sorry, I actually had to do some work, and I rescued a tiny toad which had gotten into the building. It’ll be a lot happier in the pachysandra than on the wall-to-wall office carpeting.

 
 

Good on you for the “draft dodger” bit- that had to have stung.

Heh. It was before I had round kicks at my disposal, but yeah; he took advantage of being fat and flat footed to go for 4-F. Knowing that, it was a groin shot and he…didn’t take it well. Fucking armchair warriors who think somebody else should fight and they are still Dirty Harry because they voted for the fucking chickenhawks and have some guns.

 
 

It will surprise every last one of you that I am not as aggro in real-ish life as I am when hiding behind the veil of zombiehood.

This isn’t true, zrm has a fully armed and operational space battle armada in the attic!!!111one!
~

 
 

zrm has a fully armed and operational space battle armada in the attic!!!111one!

IT’S NOT A MOON!!!

OK, that’s the second time thunder made me laugh on a very hard day.

 
 

zrm has a fully armed and operational space battle armada in the attic!!!111one!

..although, oddly enough, it had little effect on the squirrel hordes.

 
 

..although, oddly enough, it had little effect on the squirrel hordes.

always go with the two t-s…trepanning and/or trebuchet…

 
 

and ‘according to jim’ is possibly the dumbest show ever…

 
 

Curiosity Mars Rover made a successful touchdown and sent back a couple images.

 
 

“strip them of their rights to live as bitter virgins bitching about those damn sluts and their occasional half-hearted snogs with their husbands.”

Uh, is this possible? If so, maybe we should start calling them “little M. Butterflies.”

 
 

A white supremacist. SHOCKED. I AM SHOCKED.

 
 

A white supremacist.

This is unpossible. We all know white supremacists are incapable of performing terrist acts. Clearly this is a lone, unsupported individual who got no encouragament and received his guns via osmosis.

 
 

and ‘according to jim’ is possibly the dumbest show ever…

Possibly, but I’m nominating the George Lopez show. Definitely a contender.

 
 

Possibly, but I’m nominating the George Lopez show. Definitely a contender.

you are correct, sir…i will up you with a ‘carlos mencia’…

wow, there’s a lot of crappy teevee out there…

 
 

A white supremacist.

Local news comment thread sez the Sikhs should’ve had guns.

Poor Sikhs. I’d rather have them as neighbors than the wingnuts chiding them for no concealed carry.

 
 

i will up you with a ‘carlos mencia’…

Well played.

I’ll see your Carlos nee NED and raise you an NCIS and a House.

Your move.

 
 

tag

fail

 
 

While I’m at it, how about Lost? SHITTY SHOW, SHEEPLES

 
 

I’ll see your Carlos nee NED and raise you an NCIS and a House.

I’ll see your NCIS and raise you a CSI Miami.

Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

So when the wingnuts get their dream America, where no one goes out the door unless they are wearing 40 pounds of kevlar, 2 firearms, 250 rounds and maybe a sword, and people still die in in these mass shootings, what will be their defense then? If only they had bigger guns?

How bout instead of increasing the amount of damage a desperate American can do, wouldn’t it be nice if we could work on reducing the amount of desperation?

 
 

wouldn’t it be nice if we could work on reducing the amount of desperation?

pffft. typical nanny state liberal comment.

 
 

That’s crazy talk, Helmut.

How was Rockerbox?

 
 

what will be their defense then? If only they had bigger guns?

That’s an accurate prediction. Justice Scalia feels teh 2nd Amendment possible enables rocket launchers….

 
 

two words: three’s company

 
 

has anybody found a link to White Asshole’s inevitable Facebook rantings or his Screed-blog yet?

 
 

I think Major wins with any incarnation of CSI. Those are the most insufferable pieces of fucking shit on the planet. And Bones. That show is fucking awful too. All those forensic shows with their fakeass technologies and inane little side dramas….BLEAHHHHH.

 
 

Falling Skies.

The dialogue is HEINOUS.

 
 

and ‘according to jim’ is possibly the dumbest show ever…

They should have made it with our jim.

 
 

No dialog is as heinous as David Caruso’s character in CSI Miami. Every time I see him break out one of those snappy little quips and put on those sunglasses I feel duty-bound to slam a hatchet through my television.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

Rockerbox was a bust for me. I didn’t get there until four, and everyone had pretty much split due to impending rain.

I had a much nicer Sunday. My girlfriend and I went to Pewits Nest state natural area and did some hiking. It’s a hard to find and very scenic little canyon. I was totally unaware of it’s existence until I did some google searching for hikes yesterday, and once I saw it on the map, I had to see what it was like. I totally recommend checking out on google earth looking at some of the pictures that have been posted.

 
 

What I don’t get is if you hate the teebee shows so much WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO WATCH THEM?

 
 

Agree with tsam about “Lost”. That’s what happens when you start a show with a bizarre thesis and you don’t really know in advance what the mythos you’re trying to create looks like. “Yeah, that’ll be cool!” can’t be the basis of plot development for very long before the cascading fail collapses on itself.

 
 

Aaron Sorkin on the other hand gets right into my innards. I swear he can get me to tear up or get goosebumps with the most embarrasingly melodramatic pablum. He’s a genius in my opinion. Newsroom is not all that well written but I am transfixed by it every week.

 
 

Funny how the conservatives always counteract the “War on Women” rhetoric with “What about jobs for wimmen?” when we all know that in a difficult economy like this, getting pregnant while trying to search for a job is exactly what every fertile female needs!

 
 

… wouldn’t it be nice if we could work on reducing the amount of desperation?

Why, but desperation brings out the best in people, sometimes! This is one of my least favorite justifications for suffering. I hate social engineering as a series of character-building exercises. “They’ve got to learn their lesson,” says a simpleton, brushing aside unintended consequences. We build poor characters, too; people are unpredictable in what lessons they derive from their experiences.

This country needs a famine to teach people not to waste food. A housing crisis to teach them about credit, etc. etc. Totally worth it. Think of the moral superheroes that could emerge from a perfect storm of hardship! We could be as tough-minded and virtuous as Haitians.

 
 

She finds the insistence that contraception — and even abortion — is a health-care priority of the majority of American women “insulting” and “judgmental.”

According to the CDC 80% of women do take or have taken birth control pills I’d bet it’s a pretty fucking high priority for a pretty fucking high percentage of women.

 
 

Insert a “so” in there where it best pleases you.

 
 

So you’re saying that, naturally, we need to destroy the village to save it?

 
 

What I don’t get is if you hate the teebee shows so much WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO WATCH THEM?

I don’t. Sometimes I’ll stop while surfing and have a look, only to realize that stopping was a huge mistake.

 
 

‘according to jim’ is possibly the dumbest show ever…

They should have made it with our jim.

Yeah, oddly enough, nobody at any of the networks wanted to run my pilot …

[ Cut to: card printed with large Impact font, black on white. ]

FACE IT: YOU’D RATHER BE
WATCHING PORN RIGHT NOW

[ sfx: Traditional “Jeopardy” theme, on 45-second loop.]

[ hold for full 30 minutes ]

 
 

What I don’t get is if you hate the teebee shows so much WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO WATCH THEM?

Wait, isn’t this entire blog based on this kind of premise?

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

All that’s really happening is the chickens are no longer voting for Colonel Sanders. They’ve got Chik-Fil-A.

 
 

Also, FUCK THA POLICE

 
 

Tsam said it with authority.

 
 

>“Bumptious Q Stumpfucker died in a hunting accident near Fennimore.”

At least that’s what his father told his mother; I guess Bumptious didn’t want to Take the Black and serve the rest of his life on The Wall (at the Canadian border, beyond which there are the Eh-ers?).

 
 

All that’s really happening is the chickens are no longer voting for Colonel Sanders.

“I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.” — Colonel Sanders. It’s true, because movies.

 
 

Also, everyone knows that the last good shows on TV was Buffy (hour-long), Cheers (sitcom) and Ducktales (cartoon). Everything else pales in comparison, and Hollywood needs to stop ignoring my letters and make the mega-crossover happen.

 
 

It sounds like one of the things that Curiosity will do between now & 2014 is participate in the Mars Student Imaging Project … a worthy little venture wherein kids from Grade 5 through college will use it to conduct motherfucking science experiments on motherfucking Mars.

That is all.

 
 

Attention geeks: is there such thing as a USB adapter that goes from female flat pin to male squarish pin?

 
 

keep your kinky connections to yourself, Substance.

 
 

Squarish! Vanilla even!

 
 

kids from Grade 5 through college will use it to conduct motherfucking science experiments on motherfucking Mars.

Young minds have proven to be more susceptible to our…I mean, the martian probing techniques. They will prove invaluable to our cause It will be such an exciting learning experience!

 
 

tsam: I find it even more off-pissing when Caruso comes over all pensive and thinks Deep Thoughts, before putting on his effing sunglasses.

 
 

The USB Caterpillar.

 
 

Substance: to give you proper references, you’re looking for a female USB-A to male USB-B adapter.

And once you know that, Google ain’t hard at all.

 
 

What I don’t get is if you hate the teebee shows so much WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO WATCH THEM?

enh…i don’t watch a lot of teevee…although in the case of last night, i was quite comfy in my chair and hubbkf had fallen asleep across the living room with the remote in his hand…and i’m quite lazy at times, so it was easier to listen to the idiocy and criminally bad acting of ‘jim’ than to get up and change the channel…but i am eagerly awaiting the second season of ‘american horror’…!!!

 
 

but i am eagerly awaiting the second season of ‘american horror’…!!!

if obama is re-elected, i wonder how long it will be before some wingnut makes a play on words with that…

 
 

The USB Caterpillar.

He’s going to buy a bunch of them and make a USB Centipede.

 
 

and actually, best teevee show bar fucking none

 
 

USB-A to male USB-B

Well I never knew. Obviously. Thanks.

 
 

Caruso comes over all pensive and thinks Deep Thoughts

I know Jack Handy. You, sir, are NO JACK HANDY.

 
 

I still dig the shit out of Family Guy.

 
 

Well I never knew. Obviously. Thanks.

‘S all right. I had to look it up again myself; I think the USB 3.0 standard only uses type A connector (the flat one).

… nope, just checked Wikipedia and that ain’t so– but for whatever reasons A is the dominant type. (Although mini- and micro-B are apparently popular for charging cables.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_Serial_Bus#Connector_types

 
 

What about FIREWIRE?

/win_mac_troll

 
 

So I just got my first look at a photo of the Sikh temple terrorist. Imagine how surprised I was to see that he is a doughy, lumpy, pasty bike-seat sniffer who has an idiotic blank stare and a face-mullet…

 
 

Never mind that. I just took a stroll through downtown and saw a remarkable number of pregnant women. My conclusion: we are winning the war on women! Yay!

The sooper sekrit plan to have ’em all barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen makin’ me a sammich is coming to fruition! Bwahahahaha *cough* *wheeze* hahaha!

 
 

So I just got my first look at a photo of the Sikh temple terrorist. Imagine how surprised I was to see that he is a doughy, lumpy, pasty bike-seat sniffer who has an idiotic blank stare and a face-mullet…

yeah, i just checked him out myself…so then i read the cbs article that was attached to his picture and found this:

but other sources tell CBS News correspondent Bob Orr it may be more accurate to refer to “an investigation into a possible hate crime.”

i must be beyond cynical at this point because my first thought was: i bet these ‘other sources’ are wingnut types who would rather use the heretonow unacceptable term ‘hate crime’ rather than have one of their own be associated with ‘terrorism’…

and of course i had to look at the comments…this is my fave:

Those ho believe in white supremacy are scums of the earth.

poor hos can never catch a break…

 
 

The sooper sekrit plan to have ‘em all barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen makin’ me a sammich is coming to fruition!

Sure, I’ll make you a sandwich. I hope you like KNUCKLE.

 
 

Never mind that. I just took a stroll through downtown and saw a remarkable number of pregnant women. My conclusion: we are winning the war on women! Yay!

There’s something in the air that’s making women pregnant… WAIT FOR IT… WAIT FOR IT… THEIR LEGS!!!!@!@!

i must be beyond cynical at this point because my first thought was: i bet these ‘other sources’ are wingnut types who would rather use the heretonow unacceptable term ‘hate crime’ rather than have one of their own be associated with ‘terrorism’…

Yeah, the t-word must never be uttered in connection with a white guy.

 
 

oh bobdammit! last night i posted a comment to k-lo’s latest crapfest and just checked to see if it made it through…i was delighted to see the comment count was up to 60 and was sure mine was there…*sigh* sadly, no…our jim made it through, but my sage and entirely sarcasm free post did not…and you don’t even want to know how much time i spent trying to get that fucker to post (the word ‘erection’ does not make it through the censor there)…i am now convinced now more than ever that nro’s comment section had to have been designed by j-load and k-lo for it it both unwieldy and slow…

 
 

I hope you like KNUCKLE.

I prefer tongue.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

best teevee show bar fucking none

Happy sky!

 
 

What about FIREWIRE?

What about Firewire? (So popular Apple hasn’t bothered putting it on the iDevices.)

 
 

“They’ve got to learn their lesson,” says a simpleton, brushing aside unintended consequences.

Would I beat you if I didn’t love you?

 
 

Happy sky!
i have this

 
 

joe soucheray is going all paranoid over this

conspiracies everywhere! i just hope they leave ikea alone…

 
 

conspiracies everywhere! i just hope they leave ikea alone…

You must be in on the conspiracy, don’t you know IKEA stands for “I’ll kill every American”?!?!?!?

And don’t even get me started on what the queers are doing to the soil!!!

 
 

Enjoy the Facelift Bungee.

The girls of Croydon are going to be pissed.

 
 

Jeffraham spotted!

 
 

Jeffraham spotted!

No way… too much clothing.

 
 

Facelift bungee quote: “your face has been jerry-rigged with ropes and pulleys.”

Or jury-built.

 
 

Enjoy the Facelift Bungee.

So basically a commercialized version of an old stage-makeup trick?

 
 

Actually, I think the “limiting growth” thing refers to how companies with fewer than some number of employees are exempt from the requirements of the ACA.

 
 

Saw CSI once or twice. The blonde hair that they called “bimbo” that the investigators turned out to be right about was hilariously not scientific, but what really cracked me up was the guy with NH4 on his sleeve. That’s some scientific shit right there. NH4.

 
 

NRO interweb shenanigan HQ; You won’t find a more wretched hive of scum and villiany. We must be careful.

 
 

A few clicks away from Pupienus’ Scooter Hippie:

Priapus cosplay?

[NSFW if your boss is a humorless dick]

 
 

Went mango hunting in the comments.

ArielNYC    07/30/12 18:40

Really? Nobody is being denied access to ABORTION? Nobody is waging a war against Planned Parenthood? No Republican state governments trying to legislate aboriton clinics out of existence? What planet do you live on.
Reply to this commentLinkReport Abuse

Ines    07/31/12 13:45

The most hilarious part of this comment is that you admit that over-burdensome regulation causes serious harm to the businesses they regulate – but only in the case of abortion clinics.
Reply to this commentLinkReport Abuse

 
 

Actually, I think the “limiting growth” thing refers to how companies with fewer than some number of employees are exempt from the requirements of the ACA.

I wouldn’t bet on it. Remember the people who were going to limit their earnings to $250,000?

 
 

The most hilarious part of this comment is that you admit that over-burdensome regulation causes serious harm to the businesses they regulate – but only in the case of abortion clinics.

Yeah right, because being pro choice is about deregulating abortions. Access to contraceptives? — Crypto-libertarian. Sexual liberation? — Anything goes, sell your kids and pets to a brothel.

Pardon me, but I don’t feel burdened to make much sense in response to this.

 
 

Jeffraham spotted!

I wouldn’t dare show off my physique on a modern Vespa!
.

 
 

The most hilarious part of this comment is that you admit that over-burdensome regulation causes serious harm to the businesses they regulate – but only in the case of abortion clinics.

Of course “over-burdonsome regulation” translates to “We can’t drill/frack every square inch of the planet that might have a few hydrocarbons hiding under it”.

 
 

Substance McGravitas said,

August 6, 2012 at 20:27

Squarish! Vanilla even!

And it’s Snagglepuss with the win…

 
 

Went mango hunting in the comments.

they are quite humorless dicks over there…and i’m still pissed that k-lo ate my comment…it was damn good…

 
 

I’m still pissed that k-lo ate my comment…it was damn good…

Whaddaya expect, putting something tasty in front of her? Snarky on the outside, gooey substance on the inside … hmm. It bet she hates herself for eatin yours.

 
 

No way… too much clothing.

Dress for the ride, not the crash, sez I.
.

 
 

Dress for the ride, not the crash, sez I.

ha…i thought you said ‘cash’…

 
 

Dress for the ride, not the crash, sez I.

That guy will be the poster-child for skin graft research if he lays it down.

 
 

That guy will be the poster-child for skin graft research if when he lays it down.

Fixed it. You either have or you will.

 
 

That guy will be the poster-child for skin graft research if he lays it down.

The wife and I were watching “How It’s Made” yesterday, and skipped a segment on skin grafts. Give me oboes, gumballs, mannikins, whatever, but hold the skin grafts.

I think the standard “How It’s Made” background instrumentals should probably have been modified for that segment. Usually they have vaguely robotic fusion, kinda peppy, to suit the production lines.

 
 

The wife and I were watching “How It’s Made” yesterday, and skipped a segment on skin grafts. Give me oboes, gumballs, mannikins, whatever, but hold the skin grafts.

yeah, skin grafts are pretty gross…it’s pretty disgusting how they perforate the piece of skin to make it bigger…although i did appreciate how it eventually covered up the palm-sized wound the daughter had following her cancer surgery…it was weird though…she had to stay in the hospital longer to recover from the skin grafting than she did after the initial surgery, which involved removing muscle, five ribs and part of her chest wall and splicing her muscles together across her back…

 
 

Mildly amusing. http://imgur.com/a/dbR4n

 
 

Also mildly amusing: http://imvotingteaparty.com/

 
 

Oh yeah bbkf, I’m sure I would appreciate the details of skin grafts if they helped a loved one. “She had to stay in the hospital longer to recover …” –You don’t say? How odd. I don’t understand that at all. Maybe it’s that her bones/muscles were hers, but the grafts foreign?

 
 

but the grafts foreign?

nope…it’s her own skin…they took a piece from the outer side of her upper thigh so she wouldn’t grow back hair in that spot…she said it was more painful than the big surgery which i find hard to believe…but they did have her pretty doped up for that…they didn’t replace her bones either…they covered the hole in the chest wall and missing ribs with kevlar…

 
 

also, i didn’t mean to sound snarky about the skin grafts…they are really kinda gross…

 
 

In any case, an amazing sequence of events. Perhaps you’ve mentioned her and it went in one of my eyes and out the other, so to speak, but I hope your daughter is doing well.

 
 

For the record, Obama does *not* like Romney: http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021084258

 
 

also, i didn’t mean to sound snarky about the skin grafts…they are really kinda gross…

Of course. I had drinks with an emergency room director / surgeon the other day, and he expressed a total aversion to gory films. (I agree, mostly.) The Shining was mentioned, and this dude said he walked out on it [out of a living room, and probably more due to themes than gore]. So you can forget about Saw and all that. He’s seen and fixed carnage and hatred and doesn’t care for it, but my point is, there’d be a reason for him to fiddle around with those skin grafts. I have no reason: learning from “How It Works” is not enough.

 
 

but I hope your daughter is doing well.

she is indeed…six years cancer free…she’s special needs so it was an even more challenging thing to go through…

I have no reason: learning from “How It Works” is not enough

it is a pretty strange one for them to pick…i thought the one on caskets was weird enough…maybe the how it’s made guy is having a life crisis or something…

 
 

I seem to recall that some Amish make caskets, and there was an NPR segment on how screwed-up the funeral type regulations are in this country, state by state. (Hint: libs did not fuck up funerals. It’s the biz.)

The “How It Works” skin graft pick was wierd, but not unjustified — there’s an arguably industrial process, which we refused to view over dinner.

 
 

Way back in ’80, I had a part-time job caring for the adorable mice and rats in one research hospital lab, and sometimes got to work with the research scientist weaning mice. She was working on anti-rejection drugs for skin grafts at the time. There were orange, white, anp black mice for the contrast— so the grafts could be clearly seen. Seeing mice with patchwork fur is a memorable experience.

We humans have made a lot of advances in grafting since. Advances in stem cell treatments could blow it all out of the water.

 
 

which we refused to view over dinner.

good call…i would be a shitty health care person…blood and guts really gross me out…even watching ‘the godfather’ makes me queasy…but i have to admit that the daughter’s surgeries were technically amazing and i was pretty impressed that i could clean her wound, pack it and drain her jp tubes…it did put me off yogurt for awhile though…

 
 

Seeing mice with patchwork fur is a memorable experience.

ewww…i remember the late 70s having jackets like that…

 
 

ewww…i remember the late 70s having jackets like that…

My records were boring by comparison.

 
 

also, i didn’t mean to sound snarky about the skin grafts…they are really kinda gross…
Don’t mention the FORESKIN HOLOCAUST.

 
 

@Pupienus: the next sentence Cerb quoted was bitching about the ACA, it seemed a logical inference.

 
 

Don’t mention the FORESKIN HOLOCAUST.

not as disgusting as i thought this would be…i haz a disappoint…

 
 

But since the gauntlet was gently swung at my bare face… here’s my bare face, in motion.
.

 
tensor, once a longtime volunteer at NARAL,
 

In the president’s view of the world — in which Planned Parenthood helps craft White House policy —

In the immortal words of Bruce Springsteen, “Now if dreams came true, aw wouldn’t that be nice?” It would beat the living crapsack out of a world where Kathleen Sebelius can simply over-rule real science because a few 11-year-olds can get pregnant (?!?):

But in an extremely unusual action, HHS Commissioner Kathleen Sebelius — Hamburg’s boss — overruled the FDA.

Sebelius noted that about 10% of girls are able to get pregnant at age 11. In a statement, Sebelius said her action “reflects my conclusion that the data provided as part of the actual use study and the label comprehension study are not sufficient to support making Plan B One-Step available to all girls 16 and younger without talking to a health-care professional.”

Because, as wiley and Golem Heart noted, above, making people suffer is good. Especially rape victims:

“Many women who have been raped do not come in for medical care, and many do not see a doctor in a timely manner,” Stanwood says. “With over-the-counter sale of Plan B, at least they could do this. And young women are more likely to be raped. We want these women to get medical care, but most do not do it quickly.”

I think it says something that K-Load’s worst-case scenario is my happiest fantasy, and I’m damned proud of that statement.

 
 

Sigh. One problem with working nights is that even on my days off I sometimes wake up at 2:00 AM anyway.

After an hour or so of trying to get back to sleep (like today) I just stop fighting it and get up.

 
 

Have you considered masturbation?

 
 

Have you considered masturbation?

Well, there are people who’ve done it more times than me – but they’re older than me.

 
 

Well, there are people who’ve done it more times than me – but they’re older than me.

Us single doodz will pwn you at flogging it.

 
 

Who’s gonna hold the money for the masturbation-pool* betting?

*Ew.

 
 

masturbation-pool

Be sure to add chlorine.

 
 

heh…hate to interrupt the wank fest, but i can now quit bitching because my comment is standing proud over at k-lo’s…god, she’s such a twunt…

also, in the hooterville indigestion’s *editorial* section regarding the recent ceremony honoring hubert humphrey, a mango:

In last week’s column we made mention of how Huber, if alive, would roll over in his grave in utter disgust with President Obama.

i leave it with no comment…

 
 

also, speaking of weiners and such today is bj thomas’ birthday…

 
 

I’d imagine if Humphrey was alive, he’d be pounding on his coffin lid and screaming.

 
 

In last week’s column we made mention of how Huber, if alive, would roll over in his grave in utter disgust with President Obama.

This is the kind of shit I say when I’m HAMMERED.

 
 

I’d imagine if Humphrey was alive, he’d be pounding on his coffin lid and screaming.

“I have to get out of here! If I don’t give rich people more money we might have a depression!”

 
 

This is the kind of shit I say when I’m HAMMERED.

right?! it’s like they don’t even bother with proofreading…well, until recently their proofreader was an old lady with one eye…true story, not making that up…

 
 

well, until recently their proofreader was an old lady with one eye

Who could only read cursive writing with obnoxiously flowery diction?

 
 

masturbation-pool

I took the silver in the 1976 Olympics. Damn that East-German judge was tough.

 
 

Who could only read cursive writing with obnoxiously flowery diction?

indeed!

 
 

I took the silver in the 1976 Olympics. Damn that East-German judge was tough.

That’s the problem with sports that take “style” into account. It’s just not as clear-cut as good old first-to-finish-wins races.

 
 

OK, you can go back to wanking now. Although I’ll be honest–I’m pretty freaked out by the idea of wanking coming up in a K-Lo thread.

 
 

Let’s all check in Dudeskull.

Who checked him out? Is he overdue?

 
 

Let’s all check in Dudeskull.

’tis indeed a child most mighty.

 
 

Is he overdue?

That little slut got his comeuppance.

Wait.

 
 

Who checked him out? Is he overdue?

The baby library is SOOOOOOOO mad at me.

 
 

I’m pretty freaked out by the idea of wanking coming up in a K-Lo thread.

Some of us are concerned about the Major missing sleep. Harrumph.

 
Coach Urban Meyer
 

Wuzza-wuzzup, loony libs? The funky fact of the matter, your pweshus pweshus Obummer’s all badoodlin’ his silly socialism up our booties, if ya feel what Da Cool Coach is rip-rappin’ at ya, ya dorkus malorkus Silly Sadly freakazoids! Urban out.

 
 

The baby library is SOOOOOOOO mad at me.

The babies come back all wrecked and then the poor librarians have to repair their spines.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

I feel the cool coach has gone round the bend and his next missive will be nothing but free form beat poetry or transcribed jazz scat.

 
 

his next missive will be nothing but free form beat poetry or transcribed jazz scat.

Oh it’s scat all right, just not the musical kind.

 
 

The baby library is SOOOOOOOO mad at me.

It’s DEFINITELY time to start shopping for a BB gun!

 
 

I feel the cool coach has gone round the bend and his next missive will be nothing but free form beat poetry or transcribed jazz scat.

I thought he possessed the damned soul of Joey Paturdo and we were going to hear all about honor and manly stuff.

 
 

Why is Harry Reid such a butthole?

 
 

Why is Harry Reid such a butthole?

As Charlie Pierce points out, he’s got nothing to lose.

 
 

‘Bout goddam time “liberal” Hollywood started doing what the Right has been accusing them of doing for decades. Maybe we can haz movie about a corrupt Supreme Court, featuring an African American named “Terance Clommas” who sleeps during testimony, whose wife is bankrolled by right-wing extremists and who fails to disclose her income on disclosure forms that specifically ask that spouses’ income be disclosed. Too unbelievable?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Everybody in the pool!

bj thomas’

Oh wait, we’ve moved on to oral?

 
 

Everybody in the pool!

You’re soaking in it!

 
 

I like the Harry Reid tactic. What’s to lose?

 
 

great, now I’m plucking mangoes from a heavy metal thread at NR.

 
 

Tee-Hee: http://www.quickmeme.com/Relatable-Romney/?upcoming

holy crap…there’s 106 pages of that?!?

 
 

It’s DEFINITELY time to start shopping for a BB gun!

You’ll put your eye out kid.

 
 

kg, bring some back–I dare you!

 
 

kg, bring some back–I dare you!

eck…i couldn’t even make it through the article…can’t imagine mango retrieving…

 
 

1.) I’m pretty amused by the NR metal expert.
2.) Go Harry Reid!

 
 

The metal article itself is dull, the comments are wonderful.

Paul Kotik 08/07/12 14:11

Well, here we are.

An NRO columnist is an expert in the minutiae of what may be the most degraded, pidgin, artless and counteraesthetic cultural product of all of Western Civilization’s millenia of artistry.

God help us, Derbyshire was right. We Are Doomed.

 
 

eck…i couldn’t even make it through the article…can’t imagine mango retrieving…

The article wasn’t that bad, more silly than anything else. And I wonder how old the NR readership has to be to think there are tons of Nazi punk/metal outfits out there. Of course, we are talking about NR…so I can’t imagine why they’d care.

 
 

God help us, Derbyshire was right. We Are Doomed.

Those racist pedophiles always call it.

 
 

As Charlie Pierce points out, he’s got nothing to lose.

Good point. When you start with no credibility, you can’t lose any more, can you?

I just HATE that shit–“I have a source, which I cannot name…”

He STOLE THAT SHIT FROM BREITBART

 
 

Yes Harry Reid, go.

 
 

But the thing is, there are always facts that prove Breitbart wrong. There aren’t any that prove Reid wrong. OR WAIT A MINUTE, Romney could prove him wrong in a heartbeat. Squirm Romney squirm.

 
 

Yeah, tsam, it’s sleazy. It’s also right out of the Republican playbook, which is why it’s hilarious and awesome.

You’ve seen where taking the high road has gotten us.

Plus, we’re assuming he’s lying. What if he’s not?

 
 

Politics ain’t beanbag, tsam.

 
 

Hey. Guess what. I’m eating strawberries.

 
 

Obamacare has destroyed the pizza industry. It is now Taco Bell’s time to strike, as foretold in the movie “Demolition Man.”

 
 

Hey. Guess what. I’m eating strawberries.

suezboo haz a sad…

Yeah, tsam, it’s sleazy. It’s also right out of the Republican playbook, which is why it’s hilarious and awesome.

You’ve seen where taking the high road has gotten us.

Plus, we’re assuming he’s lying. What if he’s not?

the comments over there are the usual dem’s are dirty rotten filthy liars and they’ve always played dirty! but the one’s i find most amusing are the ones where they’re like, ‘the irs would have prosecuted romney already if he didn’t pay his taxes!’ and i told them so…i mean really? hasn’t the irs always been their go-to for how big government beauracracies ALWAYS ball things up? and they don’t know their ass from their elbow? but, oh yes…they are the models of efficiency now that mitt is in the hot seat…so yeah, go harry go!

 
 

But the thing is, there are always facts that prove Breitbart wrong. There aren’t any that prove Reid wrong. OR WAIT A MINUTE, Romney could prove him wrong in a heartbeat. Squirm Romney squirm.

OK–fair enough. It’s still sleazy to put the burden of proof on someone to disprove an allegation for which you cannot provide ANY proof whatsoever. Yeah, I see where the high road gets us, but I DON’T LIKE IT. Not even a little bit. This bullshit NEVER comes with beer and boobies and I’m fucking sick of it.

 
 

Sounds like a great reason not to eat Papa Johns, Pryme.

 
 

the comments over there are the usual dem’s are dirty rotten filthy liars and they’ve always played dirty!

Which is, of course, projection. Goddamn, it’s ALWAYS projection.

 
 

Politics ain’t beanbag, tsam.

My beanbag says otherwise. BOLLOCKS!

 
 

Obamacare has destroyed the pizza industry.

BUH-BYE! We’ll keep the artisan and local shops you chains can SUCK IT. Better business, better pizza, NOT PAPA JOHN’S.

 
 

Ok. I’m convinced. Nice work on the debate! Harry now rulz 4evar.

 
 

Speaking of beanbag, did you know that its officially called CornHole? And is one of kgs funtime drinky pastimes? Very fratboy, I know but still…

http://www.playcornhole.org/

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

What is it about the pizza business that attracts whingnuts? Tom Monahan (Dominoes), the Carneys (Pizza Hut), Poopy John. I knew a pizza shop owner in State College who was the same way.

 
 

Sounds like a great reason not to eat Papa Johns, Pryme.

Alas, I work on/live near a college campus, so our choices are this, Dominos (who apparently makes Chick-fil-A look like Ed Asner) or the local “Health Inspector’s coming; clear out the rats!” shop.

Some of the kos kids in the link talk about baking their own pizzas; I just don’t have the time for that.

 
 

Obamacare has destroyed the pizza industry.

Meh, I make my own anyway. It’s been many years since I had a pizza delivered.

 
 

What is it about the pizza business that attracts whingnuts?

I know…weird, huh?

Oh and you forgot Herman Cain (don’t worry, most of us had forgotten about him).

I guess I’ll have to hunt for a Lil Caesar’s or Ledo’s.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

the irs would have prosecuted romney already if he didn’t pay his taxes!’

It is interesting to note that Harry did not say Willard did anything illegal. IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION!

C’mon, the guy who managed to run up a $100M IRA? He knows a LOT about tax avoidance. The guy who ran businesses out of the Caymans? And had Swiss bank accounts? I can readily believe he found ways to skirt the law to incur no tax liability.

But then too, he censored the part of his returns that would make it clear whether he participated in the Swiss bank accounts amnesty program.

What’s the over/under now on him having a serious “health issue” three days before the convention?

 
 

If only there were some easy way that Mitt could clear up this whole misunderstanding. Hmmmmmmm.

 
 

sillly libs should naturally eat pizza rolls like all red blooded merkins

 
 

The fact is you can legally avoid paying your taxes by using methods including those described by PM above. If Mittens didn’t break the law there can be no negative consequences of releasing the Kracken Return, amirite?

 
 

The fact is you can legally avoid paying your taxes by using methods including those described by PM above. If Mittens didn’t break the law there can be no negative consequences of releasing the Kracken Return, amirite?

I’m still trying to figure out what negative consequences he thinks he would face if it did come out that he’s paid no or nearly no taxes. His voting block applauds mass layoffs, outsourcing, deregulation, “free” markets, etc…Seems like they’d be down with a nilla brutha stickin it to da man on his 1040.

 
 

Exactly tsam. It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Pryme, let me help you out here.

Tip #1 (the Major might appreciaste this one too) – You can parbake the shells and they freeze beautifully. My mother used to make a big batch of dough every couple weeks, parbake the shells then wrap and freeze. She even made them square so as to use the freezer space more efficiently. When you feel like pizza you just dress a shell and pop it into a hot oven – don’t even need to thaw it first. If you want a traditional red sauce just add some grated onion, salt and pepper, some marjoram and/or oregano to plain canned tomato sauce. Canned mushrooms work fine for this purpose.

Tip #2 – Boboli pizza shells are pretty good. I never used one until Jacques Pepin tipped me to them. http://www.kqed.org/w/morefastfoodmyway/episode224.html

Tip #3 – Also due to the ever awesome Jacques Pepin. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nRsJS619a8 He also uses lavash and pita breads in the same way.

 
 

If only there were some easy way that Mitt could clear up this whole misunderstanding.

Aaaaand, we’re back to the masturbation pool.

 
 

When the wingnuts were constructing the meme that 47% of Americans pay no taxes they had no idea that group would include their presumptive Presidential nominee.

 
 

I’m still trying to figure out what negative consequences he thinks he would face if it did come out that he’s paid no or nearly no taxes. His voting block applauds mass layoffs, outsourcing, deregulation, “free” markets, etc…Seems like they’d be down with a nilla brutha stickin it to da man on his 1040.

Those are diehards and weirdos. You need more than those people to vote for you. The negative is a political negative – that Mitt is the problem and not the solution.

 
 

What is it about the pizza business that attracts whingnuts?

I think that’s pretty much the norm for all food service chains that sell shit food for dirt cheap prices and hire kids to work there for shit wages and no benefits. Seems like it’s also fairly common to any other giant corporation. Who knew the CEO of Whole Foods was such as a rear-bagging fuckwith? I had no idea–but then I don’t shop at places like that.

I think it was Pizza Hut that cried about this during Clinton’s epic fail of a run at health care reform. The Clenis politely informed them that about a nickel per pizza would easily pay the premiums on such a massive group policy, but teh st00pits were having none of it.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Who knew the CEO of Whole Foods was such as a rear-bagging fuckwith?

Me. I knew him way back when. I didn’t know him well, just well enought to see that he was a very odd bird.

 
 

i just opened a check for a $113,000 +odd change memorial gift…boofuckinyah! days like this, i love my job!!!

 
 

Who knew the CEO of Whole Foods was such as a rear-bagging fuckwith?

Some weirdos.

 
 

Speaking of beanbag, did you know that its officially called CornHole? And is one of kgs funtime drinky pastimes? Very fratboy, I know but still…

ha…i can’t wait to tell my sister this…she and her husband are rabid fans of teh beanbag…and drinking…

 
 

But then, as a business owner, I look at my monthly P&Ls and dry heave over the amount of money we’re spending on health insurance. If all of the businesses paid half of that to Medicare, and we opened enrollment to all residents, I MAKE MORE MONEY!

 
 

Fun historical fact of the day.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Romney_%281762%29

 
 

So…someone who plays with a beanbag is Cornholio?

 
 

Some weirdos.

Those guys ARE weird.

 
 

Fun historical fact of the day.

Further funfact

 
 

Reid’s source is probably John McCain.
~

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

HRMPH.

 
 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Gays make him commit arson, yet HE gets in trouble! What a world.

 
 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Doesn’t that guy give off a huge repressed vibe, like Marcus Bachmann? He’s in Minnesota, right? I’d be willing to bet a box of Cheerios that he’s on the board of Bachmann’s “re-education” camp.

 
 

On the Papa John’s pizza front… what the fuck language is this?

“If Obamacare is in fact not repealed, we will find tactics to shallow out any Obamacare costs and core strategies to pass that cost onto consumers in order to protect our shareholders best interests,” Schnatter vowed.

Shallow is a verb? I’ve never eaten his pizza (too many great independent shops in my neck of the woods), but his command of English has got to be crappier than his products.

 
 

That’s the big problem with this country, B^4.

Once you get away from the New Haven – New York area, it’s all big crap pizza chains.

No wonder everything’s a mess.
~

 
 

Once you get away from the New Haven – New York area, it’s all big crap pizza chains.

Come back to the homeland, old chum. Dinner at Pepe’s on me.

 
 

pass that cost onto consumers in order to protect our shareholders best interests

Modern corporate suck in a nutshell.

 
exford legs, switching hemispheres
 

pachysandra
Thickening the Sandra.

Also, I donated a copy of The invisible Hand, among other books, to Oxfam. Fuck you, self-interest

Also, regulating the burden

 
 

Also, I donated a copy of The invisible Hand, among other books, to Oxfam. Fuck you, self-interest

So… the invisible hand was giving the finger?

 
 

we will find […] core strategies to pass that cost onto consumers

I believe those strategies are collectively known as “a price increase”.

 
 

Once you get away from the New Haven – New York area, it’s all big crap pizza chains.

hell…we have this place so i don’t wanna hear any whining from you mugs…

 
 

Isn’t the owner of Pizza Ranch another right-wing whackaloon?

 
 

Isn’t the owner of Pizza Ranch another right-wing whackaloon?

prolly…imma find out…brb…

 
 

Isn’t the owner of Pizza Ranch another right-wing whackaloon?‘

i’m going to have to say yes on that one:

Pizza Ranch is a Christian based company.[4] This can be seen on their mission/vision posters in their restaurants and on their website. The Pizza Ranch vision is “To glorify God by positively impacting the world we live in.”

 
 

“To glorify God by positively impacting the world we live in by giving everyone who eats our chicken diarrhea.”

fixed!

 
 

I’m not sure how running a chain of western-themed “fast casual” eateries glorifies God. What if the almighty is too busy helping people win high school football games and country music awards to notice all this glorification?

 
 

Finding the core

Impacting the world

 
 

I’m not sure how running a chain of western-themed “fast casual” eateries glorifies God. What if the almighty is too busy helping people win high school football games and country music awards to notice all this glorification?

oh major…how could you even question it?!?!? they are so busy glorifying god, that they no longer offer special needs persons a free meal on their birthday…which they used to do until last year…and you know what? said special needs person always had their birthday party at the old ranch, thereby giving them about 35-40 customers they probably wouldn’t have had! that’s some glorifying isn’t it?

 
 

and also, those special needs persons are living on a pretty fucking fixed income and that birthday meal was pretty important to them…glory be to god!

 
 

wow…i just realized i’m not going to eat at pizza ranch ever again!

 
 

wow…i just realized i’m not going to eat at pizza ranch ever again!

And miss out on their delightful penne with broccoli rabe and store-made sweet Italian sausages?

 
 

Glorifying the Lord

 
 

I’m not sure how running a chain of western-themed “fast casual” eateries glorifies God.

Globs of hot pizza cheese oozing from people’s chins makes Jesus smile.

 
 

I award today’s Internet to Major Kong.

 
 

Seriously. It’s a little long for a t-shirt, but I’m thinking of printing it up anyway.

 
 

Thanks VS.

 
 

Seriously. It’s a little long for a t-shirt, but I’m thinking of printing it up anyway.

what colors are you offering?

 
 

Glorifying the Lord

Larding the glory.

 
 

what colors are you offering?

Speaking of which, anyone need a Camero painted? http://nedbeaumontjr.wordpress.com/2012/08/07/purty-colors/

 
 

A. H. E. M.

 
 

A href=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmKnf7QhuSo’>POOP!

 
 

I had to do third grade over again because I failed “tag” during recess.

 
 

I do enjoy seeing the arson video over and over again.

 
 

DIE CHEERIOS DIE

…and then Mini__B will have a sad…

 
 

Once you get away from the New Haven – New York area, it’s all big crap pizza chains.

That’s it.

I ain’t taking thunder to the local pizza place if he ever visits again. SCREW YOU BUDDY!!

 
 

“Hubert who?” – Lyndon Johnson

 
 

Glorifying the Lord

Oh god ! Oh god!

 
 

I ain’t taking thunder to the local pizza place

The…uh…thunder…usually follows the trip to the pizza place by several hours.

 
 

The cheerios arson video is pretty funny, especially when they keep saying “get in the car! GO!”

But I still chuckle at this one.

 
 

The…uh…thunder…usually follows the trip to the pizza place by several hours.

The vodka infused shrimp pasta was especially tasty that night too.

But now he’s being a jerk, because he’s getting famous for butterflies. Hmpf.

 
 

That was a fine place, zrm, but I didn’t get the pizza…I went with pasta I think.
~

 
 

AHEM. Mr. Butterfly.

The pizza is really good too. We’d take you to Zaffiro’s also, but YOU ARE BANNED.

 
 

But I still chuckle at this one.

it’s the slo-mo that cracks me up…

 
 

The cheerios arson video is pretty funny

He may have lost his realtor’s license, but he can always pursue a new career as a fire marshal.

 
 

He may have lost his realtor’s license, but he can always pursue a new career as a fire marshal.

well it certainly isn’t going to be as a protest organizer…

 
 

Once you get away from the New Haven – New York area, it’s all big crap pizza chains.

Come to Nashville, and prepare your mind for blowing.
.

 
 

I actually found a new place to recommend to visitors to Nashville for Mexican food that knocked Mas Tacos (who got a write-up in Rolling Stone — and IS quite awesome, btw) off my list. And it’s in La Vergne, for cryin’ out loud, Louise.
.

 
 

We’d take you to Zaffiro’s also, but YOU ARE BANNED.

Zaffiro’s? Pizza and panflutes?

 
 

Zaffiro’s? Pizza and panflutes?

as n_b pointed out earlier, the panflutes usually come after eating the pizza…

 
 

Come to Nashville, and prepare your mind for blowing.

Boy. Did I read that wrong the first time through 🙁
.

 
 

Harry Reid – “He’s a shithead, but he’s OUR shithead!”

I say lock him & Willard in a room … & just keep that sucker closed permanently.

Dunno if the thunder will get me or not, but there’s some of it crashing outside right now, & has been for a good couple of hours … along with some very dramatic lightning & the first rain in several weeks.

I heart thunder & lightning.

ZEUS ISREAL!

 
 

I got a call from a pollster yesterday asking who I was voting for for president. After I hung up, it occured to me that perhaps I should have lied to them. I think that all Obama supporters when polled should say they are voting for Mitt. This way, the Rmoney campaign would get complacent and the Obama campaign would work harder. But the big payoff, the thing I’m really shooting for, is to convince the Republicans in congress that Rmoney has got this thing wrapped up. I believe that they would then rush through the legislation that they’ve been tying up that would get our economy rolling again. So next time they call to ask me who I’m voting for, I’m going to tell them I’m voting for one of these two guys.

 
 

The baby library is SOOOOOOOO mad at me.

The babies come back all wrecked and then the poor librarians have to repair their spines.

They do look cute with the dog-ears, though.

 
 

The baby library is SOOOOOOOO mad at me.

The babies come back all wrecked and then the poor librarians have to repair their spines.

They just sent me a bill for almost 20k for a baby that’s 30 years overdue. I’ve now got him in a job that’s making over 40k a year though, so I’m still coming out ahead.

 
 

Yuse Canukistanis really have it rough. What with not being allowed to shoot people dead for asking you a simple question.
Like some sort of bizarro land.
http://gawker.com/5932846/american-becomes-laughingstock-of-canada-after-letter-to-editor-lamenting-lack-of-handgun-during-mild-confrontation

 
 

Thread Bear: You may be interested to know that the late, great Chicago columnist Mike Royko advocated exactly the same thing, except from a non-ideological perspective. He just hated pollsters and urged everyone to lie to them, no matter whom they were really supporting.

 
 

Yuse Canukistanis really have it rough. What with not being allowed to shoot people dead for asking you a simple question.
Like some sort of bizarro land.
http://gawker.com/5932846/american-becomes-laughingstock-of-canada-after-letter-to-editor-lamenting-lack-of-handgun-during-mild-confrontation

Talk about paranoid. “You’re asking me questions? *click-click* BANG!

“Protect my family,” my hairy ass. If he knew how to fight, he wouldn’t need a gun (the fact they didn’t pull out a gun when they were “threatening” him hints that they probably weren’t packing, and with your years of cop experience he should have had some kind of advantage if things did turn violent). He panicked (ala Zimmerman) and reached for his phallic firearm of courage only to realize that he couldn’t use it in this one instance. If he had any social skills, he could have, I don’t know, TALKED to the guys and ask them what the hell they were talking about.

But no…his solution is, “When I’m confused, I shoot confusion on the face.”

I swear, we’re less then a generation away from people regularly shooting cashiers for getting their Starbucks order wrong.

 
 

I swear, we’re less then a generation away from people regularly shooting cashiers for getting their Starbucks order wrong.

I’d say blasting your way through a temple and killing everyone you see because of skin color is every bit as stupid as shooting someone over a botched order. Shit–at least the botched order has some specific impact on your life. A bunch of Sikhs didn’t affect Wade’s life in the absolute least.

What the fuck? Are we all such cuntly little pussies that we reach for a gun when we think there might possibly be a confrontation? I guess so. What sickens me the most is that this fucking prick is COP! How long until he guns down a mouthy teenager? (Assuming he hasn’t already) This country is SO FUCKED UP.

 
 

A 42 year old woman was shot to death today in Kalamazoo Michigan. Walt Wawra, a police officer, was patrolling downtown when a woman stepped into his path and in a very aggressive tone shouted that her purse had been stolen. “I ignored her,” Wawra reported, but “then she moved closer, repeating: ‘My purse has been stolen!'” That’s when the 20-year police force vet got angry and shot her. “I speculated she did not have good intentions when she approached in such an aggressive, disrespectful and menacing manner. I thank the Lord Jesus Christ that I had a weapon of some sort.”

 
 

What sickens me the most is that this fucking prick is COP!

No kidding. This guy apparently has NO ability to assess a threat level and no willingness to investigate/engage personally before resorting to weapon use, exactly the opposite of the type of person I want in law enforcement OR armed.

 
 

A 42 year old woman was shot to death today in Kalamazoo Michigan.

According to the NRA, her problem was that she wasn’t armed.

 
 

This guy apparently has NO ability to assess a threat level and no willingness to investigate/engage personally before resorting to weapon use,

ie: Sissy/princess/scaredy cat little bitch.

 
 

I’d tell him that to his face, but I don’t want to get shot.

 
 

According to the NRA, her problem was that she wasn’t armed.

You forgot about the “Cop Clause” wherein it states that given the indisputable evidence that law enforcement officers have a difficult job and are always heroes, they are hereby exonerated from all killings with firearms or other weapons. Furthermore, no person shall act in any manner not in full compliance with officer action and instruction, including being shot.

 
 

Thread hoggin’ W00t

Therefore, we are all duty bound to submit to shooting, tasering, night-sticking, etc…

Just try to enjoy the endorphin/adrenaline rush and remember that you don’t have to go to work tomorrow or ever be caught in any of those icky, awkward social situations ever again. That’s a win in my book, people.

 
 

This guy apparently has NO ability to assess a threat level and no willingness to investigate/engage personally before resorting to weapon use,

Hm. Must’ve been trained by the Seattle PD.

 
 

Or Spokane

Or also Spokane

The second one is short on details, but here’s the abridged dope:

Off duty cop is in Dempsey’s Brass Rail, a well known and very heavily patronized gay bar. (It has since closed for some unknown reason, though I have my suspicions). After a few drinks, this fucking pig goes outside and sees Shonto Pete (he says) attempting to steal his vehicle. Now, we all know that the most awesome time to use a gun is when you’re drunk, so Olsen whips out the gun he was carrying in the bar while drinking, and chases Pete about a mile, firing multiple times until striking him with a glancing shot to Pete’s head. Pete ends up on a resident’s porch, screaming for help and bleeding.

The rest of the story goes like all these others go: Cop isn’t a cop anymore but faces no criminal liability as a so-called jury ruled that chasing a guy for a mile and spraying bullets all over a city is self-defense. Pete gets his civil suit dropped because he missed a discovery deadline and apparently had trouble securing an attorney.

 
 

Crazy guy/racist brings gun to public setting, shoots innocent people = “the innocent people should have had guns too, because bears should have arms.”

Rapper rhymes about guns = “why are they (*wink-wink*) so violent?”

 
 

A federal civil-rights investigation into the Seattle Police Department has found routine and widespread use of excessive force by officers, and city and police officials were told at a stormy Thursday night meeting that they must fix the problems or face a federal lawsuit, according to two sources.

uh-oh…the feds? we all know how worthless they are! poor, spd, beging targeted by the beauracracy…

The meeting, attended by Mayor Mike McGinn, Police Chief John Diaz, members of his command staff and others, ended in raised voices and bitter accusations by city and police officials, upset at the Justice Department’s findings, the sources said.

surprisingly there was no gun play…which is really the only way to solve contentious situations…

The sources confirmed the city will get a chance to work with the Justice Department to address the issues, or it will face a federal lawsuit that could result in fines, penalties and even the appointment of an outside special master to oversee the Police Department.

‘special master’…hawt!

Evidence uncovered in that review led to a full-scale civil-rights investigation, announced March 31, to examine whether Seattle police engaged in “systemic violations of the Constitution or federal law.”

duh, st00pid feds! they ARE upholding the constitution cuz GUNS!

 
 

surprisingly there was no gun play…which is really the only way to solve contentious situations…

Our guys have more tools than just guns, like pepper-spraying bystanders at protests, stomping handcuffed detainees while they are lying on the ground, shooting drunken, shambling indian woodcarvers who cross the street while brown, slamming teenagers’ heads into concrete walls…yep they have all the tools at their disposal.

 
 

Whale Chowder’s link led me to these two videos of the murder of the native American woodcarver. Wow, just wow. We never see things like this on any of those police video shows. We really should though. My first thought was why was this not all over the national news. Then my second thought was that’s because it’s all too common and not considered newsworthy which was even more depressing.

 
 

It couldn’t possibly be murder; the cop was exonerated in the trial although he’s now a mall cop. What’s that? Of course I’m not filled with rage, my knuckles are always white like that. And pay no attention to the fingernail cuts in the palms of my hands, it’s nothing. Really.

 
 

We never see things like this on any of those police video shows.

One reason is because on shows like “COPS” the police are supposed to be the protagonists. Also, one of the creators was pretty much a bigot (in a documentary, he feigned surprise that a vast majority of episodes, regardless of the state/region seemed to highlight police arresting minorities).

 
 

One reason is because on shows like “COPS” the police are supposed to be the protagonists. Also, one of the creators was pretty much a bigot (in a documentary, he feigned surprise that a vast majority of episodes, regardless of the state/region seemed to highlight police arresting minorities).

Just one more example of that damned liberal mainstream media at work!

 
 

I’m running for president, for goodness sakes!”

All I can say is: if this story was tied to “Barack Obama” instead of “Mitt Romney” Fox News would have wailing about it NONSTOP.

 
 

Fox News: Fair(skinned) and (un)Balanced

 
 

I’m running for president, for goodness sakes!”

A Republican with direct financial ties to fascist mass-murderers?!?

That’s not the America the Contras Founding Fathers would’ve wanted!

 
 

“I’m running for president, for goodness sakes!”

Wow.

 
 

the video from wc’s link is so depressing and disturbing that i am at a loss for words…but the mitt link? not shocked at all…

 
 

The depths of that man’s scumminess remind me of some cess pits I’ve seen.

 
 

but the mitt link? not shocked at all…

Me neither; what’s surprising is that this guy has the nerve to go full-on “Romneycare is terrific!” after bashing the system that evolved from it.

Can’t. Wait. For. Debates.

 
 

The depths of that man’s scumminess remind me of some cess pits I’ve seen.

Behind every great fortune is a crime. Nobody can make that much money in that time frame without doing something illegal or morally questionable.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

I’m not watching that depressing shit. I’m watching PENIS

 
 

Here I’ve been driving for two days and y’all are still on the walrus thread? As to pizza, I just got to New Haven. Been to Pepe’s the last few times I think it’ll be Sally’s tonight.

 
 

I’m watching PENIS

Well, that’s like my PENIS when I think of K-Lo.

 
 

This is why whenever Republicans start spouting off to me about Obamacare I always refer to it as Obomneycare. I think that title is more accurate. But I am grateful that the wingnuts have decided the ACA is totally evil and rotten because otherwise Romney would be able to point to one of the major achievements of Obama’s first term and say “I pioneered that!” Which, of course, he can still do but he’d lose the tea party vote.

 
 

Also: Central America ain’t the only place Romney’s Bain Capital has been wheelin’ and dealin’.

 
 

Me neither; what’s surprising is that this guy has the nerve to go full-on “Romneycare is terrific!” after bashing the system that evolved from it.

wow, what epic assholes…’dude, sorry yer wife died…shoulda lived in massachusetts, dumbass!’

fuck you, mitt…

 
 

Been to Pepe’s the last few times I think it’ll be Sally’s tonight.

sorry…won’t be there…going to the in-laws for chow tonight…and there’s no pizza in the freezer either…maybe next time give a girl a little, warning, mkay?

 
 

NB, if you weren’t such a nice guy I’d ahem you to my post at 16:27

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

Great. So the money that was busy buying out and destroying US industry in the 80s was provided in part by sleazy Latin American ‘elites’ with ties to death squads. How many other leveraged buyout firms were raising capital from equally unsavory sources? I am unsurprised that the some of the richest men in America got that way because they were happy to take money from murderers and use it as a wrecking ball.

It’s not like the worst instincts of murderers and drug lords were tempered by their cozy relationship with America. It’s not like the predatory instincts that made them rich on the back of crime go away when they look to put their money in a US investment firm. And the investment firms that are willing to take money still dripping with blood sure don’t have high minded or noble plans to share the wealth. It’s a self selecting treadmill of vice, each step magnifying the basest instincts and worst outcomes of the previous one.

Don’t look for a Romney administration to shut down the drug war, or fight global warming or work for economic justice. Romney and everyone he knows are too busy getting rich by making the problems worse.

 
 

kg said,
August 8, 2012 at 22:17

NB, if you weren’t such a nice guy I’d ahem you to my post at 16:27

kg –

You are a scholar and a gentleperson.

 
 

Don’t look for a Romney administration to shut down the drug war, or fight global warming or work for economic justice. Romney and everyone he knows are too busy getting rich by making the problems worse.

Gosh, and I had such high hopes.

 
 

Don’t look for a Romney administration to shut down the drug war, or fight global warming or work for economic justice. Romney and everyone he knows are too busy getting rich by making the problems worse.

You can probably add “immigration reform” to that as well.

 
 

Well, once again, feature not a bug.

These here “death squads”, who were they killin’? Commies, that’s who.

Any Right-thinkin’ American would be PROUD to have all that good Commie-kiliin’ money backin’ them up and bustin’ up all them damn unions also too!!

 
 

I think Rmoney would make a fantastic chickenhawk. He may even rival the current asshole who’s been perpetuating a war to look like a tough guy.

 
 

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