Oh Please

Check out this quote about blogging and vacation time from the Instaperfesser in the WSJ:

Glenn Reynolds, a law professor at the University of Tennessee, experienced a similar blow this month when he took a weeklong break from his site, the popular political blog InstaPundit. Unique visitors fell to 115,000 from around 150,000, according to Site Meter.

Even so, Mr. Reynolds is glad he took the week off. “I need a vacation more than I care about the traffic,” he says.

I’ve got a simple solution, Glenn: it’s called the “heh”-bot. Basically, program a bot to link to any new post from Confederate Yankee/Patterico/Powerline/Malkin/Jeff Goldstain/Ace and then add a “heh,” “indeed,” “feh,” “read the whole thing,” “more crushing of dissent,” or “fake but accurate” to the end. No one would notice you’d left.

ReynoldsBot30002.jpg

 

Comments: 37

 
 
 

My God! Self-employed people lose money when they take holidays! Clearly blogs are doomed!

 
Notorious P.A.T.
 

Mr. Reynolds is glad he took the week off. “I need a vacation more than I care about the traffic,� he says.

Of course he does–fighting on the front lines of a war is very tiring.

 
 

Don’t forget the “disturbing, if true” comment.

 
 

Heh! Indeed!

 
 

…add a “heh,â€? “indeed,â€? “feh,â€? “read the whole thing,â€? “more crushing of dissent,â€? or “fake but accurateâ€? to the end. No one would notice you’d left.

All this sniping at Glenn could have been averted if he just varied his catchphrases. For example, he could try:

“Ha. Indubitably.”
“dismiss”
“skim the whole article”
“more smooshing of protest”
“false but true”

 
 

Speaking of mindless repetition, the Seinfeld Quote 3000 in the S,N! banner seems to be stuck on that H.E. Pennypacker line.

Somebody get Travis out of his “office” to give it a Fonzlike thump and get it moving again.

 
 

At least he has what it takes to make it in the Marketplace of Hehdeas.

 
 

Wait, you assume that he doesn’t already have a bot that does it, and that it broke down for a “vacation”… if you know what I mean?

 
 

So, he visits his own site 45,000 times a day?

 
 

Actually, I thought he left years ago.

 
 

Soooooooo, that was the motivation for
this.

Heh, indeed!

 
 

The fact is that Glenn Reynolds’ honesty went on permanent vacation many moons ago.

heh indeed

 
 

I’m Quoted! (But Elizabeth Holmes got my state wrong. I’m in Mississippi, not Missouri.)

“”Not all voices are created equal,” notes Aaron Adams, an information technology consultant from Missouri who reads nearly 20 blogs a day. “Some guest bloggers don’t do much more than just keep the light on. They’re not as interesting or as stimulating.”

My 15 nanoseconds of fame…

 
 

Dear Seb,

Where are you? I miss you so much. Sadly, No! is not the same since you brought in these guest bloggers to cover for you. Brad R., Gavin M., Travis G. and Retardo Montalban—I don’t want to sound rude, but who are these guys and where did you find them? They don’t write like you do. They don’t speak to me the way you do. Please come back. Or at least let me know when you’ll be back. I don’t want to wait in vain for your posts.

SebLover

 
 

Lileks has more.

 
 

Dear Seb,

Where are you? I miss you so much. Sadly, No! is not the same since you brought in these guest bloggers to cover for you. Brad R., Gavin M., Travis G. and Retardo Montalban—I don’t want to sound rude, but who are these guys and where did you find them?

Well this makes me feel just wonderful.

 
 

Indeed.

 
 

Well this makes me feel just wonderful.

FWIW, I asked about Seb the other day, too, but it was not in any way intended to slight any of the other regulars (guest posters?). Except maybe Retardo.

I still love you, Gavin.

 
 

Heck, I don’t do much more than keep the light on at my OWN blog.

 
 

Jeff Jarvis, author of the political blog BuzzMachine, knows the feeling. He has always posted during his annual vacation to Skytop Lodge in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania. When the resort had only an expensive Internet connection, he paid the hefty fee to keep his blog current. His son, Jake, now 14 years old, paid for half of the connection costs so he could keep up his technology blog, Wire Catcher.

Jarvis, ya cheap bastid . . .

 
 

It’s sad that Glen appears to blog for validation. Thankfully, we at RoD don’t need to be popular to feel good about ourselves.

 
 

The hell is that, a Socket A?

 
 

Interestingly, Mecha InstaPundit has better hair than the real Hatfield.

 
 

To think he also draws a salary at his university!

 
 

Gavin and Brad aren’t guest bloggers! what kind of crap is that?

 
 

Gavin and Brad aren’t guest bloggers! what kind of crap is that?

Hell no. That would be Marie Jon’ and Gary Ruppert!!

mikey

 
 

[Just popping in here for a sec…]

Seb’s been busy lately, but hopefully things will calm down soon so that he can post more easily.

I’ve actually been really neglectful of comments, btw (also a time issue). I’ll be here more often after Labor Day…

 
 

Gavin and Brad aren’t guest bloggers! what kind of crap is that?

It was a joke, a feeble attempt to make fun of these complaints (from the Wall Street Journal article linked by Brad):

“The frequency of emails of ‘Bring back Andrew’ and ‘This is stupid. Bring back Andrew’ is definitely higher than anything I’ve ever written,” says David Weigel, a 24-year-old assistant editor at Reason magazine, who is one of Mr. Sullivan’s guest bloggers and has filled in at other sites in the past.

The first time I saw this was when Roxanne Cooper and Ogged filled in for Drum a few months ago. I understand people not reading a blog while the person who runs it is away; I don’t understand people complaining to the guest bloggers—selected by the very person in charge of the site—that they are not someone else.

 
 

Here’s my (oversimplification) theory. Lots of people validate by crapping on “the help”. The same pompous asshat that is so mean to the waiter that the waiter has to go in the kitchen before someone sees the tears in his eyes – that same sorry – ass dude will fall all over himself to be polite and derential to the restaurant owner. These folks think they’re cool ’cause they interact with the blog host, but the guest bloggers are not among the annointed, and therefore can be shat upon for the empowerment of the asshole…

mikey

 
 

“Dean Esmay says it all.”

 
 

Lots of people validate by crapping on “the help�.

Exactly. It’s like a school class going after the substitute teacher, just because they can (something my class specialised in, back in the day); brutal and childish.

Oh, and fwiw J, I chuckled at your first comment — but I am an exceptionally feebleminded person.

 
 

But what I don’t get is that by sh_tting on the guest blogger, you’re sh_tting on the host. By saying the guest blogger sucks, you’re crapping on the host’s judgement about what is good for the blog. At least that’s how I see it.

Thanks, Bistroist. I thought the Bob Marley line at the end of the little letter was a dead giveaway, but I probably should’ve made clearer what exactly I was referring to.

 
 

J–
Knowing the trolls at The Eschaton dumping on the guest bloggers as a way of attacking Atrios, my guess is that *gasp* the trolls at Drum’s (*gasp* Drum has trolls *gasp*) are doing the same thing.

It ain’t a bug, it’s a feature.

 
 

sorry J! I totally missed the joke.

 
 

I don’t know anything about a joke, unless it’s my job…but I did love playing Bob Marley and the Wailers:

I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love;
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love.
From the very first time I rest my eyes on you, girl,
My heart says follow t’rough.
But I know, now, that I’m way down on your line,
But the waitin’ feel is fine:
So don’t treat me like a puppet on a string,
‘Cause I know I have to do my thing.
Don’t talk to me as if you think I’m dumb;
I wanna know when you’re gonna come – soon.
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love;
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love;
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love,
‘Cause if summer is here,
I’m still waiting there;
Winter is here,
And I’m still waiting there.

/Guitar solo/

Like I said:
It’s been three years since I’m knockin’ on your door,
And I still can knock some more:
Ooh girl, ooh girl, is it feasible?
I wanna know now, for I to knock some more.
Ya see, in life I know there’s lots of grief,
But your love is my relief:
Tears in my eyes burn – tears in my eyes burn
While I’m waiting – while I’m waiting for my turn,
See!

I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love;
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love;
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love;
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love;
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love, oh!
I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna –
I don’t wanna wait in vain.
I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna –
I don’t wanna wait in vain.
No, I don’t wanna (I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna –
I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna wait in vain) –
No I – no I (I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna – I don’t
wanna – I don’t wanna wait in vain) –
No, no-no, I, no, I (I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna –
I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna wait in vain) –
It’s your love that I’m waiting on (I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna –
I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna wait in vain);
It’s me love that you’re running from.
It’s Jah love that I’m waiting on (I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna –
I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna – I don’t wanna wait in vain);
It’s me love that you’re running from.

 
 

It’s like a school class going after the substitute teacher, just because they can (something my class specialised in, back in the day); brutal and childish.

Too sophisticated. It’s more like toddlers whining because the baby-sitter doesn’t fix the mac’n’cheese “like Mommy does”, and besides, they can only eat frootloops if they’re served in the *special* red cereal bowl.

Of course, since they know that the world revolves around them, toddlers also believe that Mommy picks out evil, mean, neglectful baby-sitters just so she’ll look good in comparison, selfish whore that she is!

 
 

“Glenn Reynolds, a law professor at the University of Tennessee, experienced a similar blow ”

heh. He experienced a blow. Doubtful.

 
 

(comments are closed)