How Cognitive Dissonance Works: An Owner’s Manual
I’m even using his T-shop to adorn my post. That’s how much of Tintin’s territory this is.
Dan Blatt, the Self Loathing Champion, “Gay” “Patriot”:
Free markets are good for gays
There are subtle divisions here at Sadly, No! Industries. For instance, if someone wants a quick shorter and a t-shop crafted from the gluteus maximus of a golden god, then one turns to Tintin. And if one wants a post so long that half the people reading it die of old age before they reach the end and a photoshop that looks like a grade schooler trying to see how bad a work needs to be not to make it on the refrigerator, then one turns to me.
As such, I’ve usually stayed away from the comedy goldmine that is America’s Dumbest Homosexual™. But I’m afraid the siren call is much too strong on this one. For it answers one of the desperate questions one has about professional kapos like him.
How does he rationalize this shit to himself?
Sadly, the answer, like many things in Dan Blatt’s life, is sorely lacking.
Shorter (or the last port before jungle):
- We don’t need anti-discrimination laws because of all the companies that were forced to not discriminate by anti-discrimination laws! Wait…
Dan Blatt is a very confused individual.
As diligent readers of this blog now, I am very skeptical of the notion of “equality”
Yes, Dan. Yes we “now” exactly how “skeptical” you are of equality.
as pushed by the various left-leaning gay groups.
Oh sorry, you’d totally be in favor of being a full human being if that freedom wasn’t tainted by the patchouli-covered hands that fought for it.
They tend to want to achieve “full equality” through greater government regulation of our economy — and our lives.
Whereas, my side, just wants me to live in fear for my life through government passed bills that limit where I can marry, where I can visit my partner in the hospital room, if I can adopt that watermelon as my child seeing as they’ve tried to ban me adopting a kid everywhere else, where I can work, and where I can be bullied.
You know, Dan, usually the “I want the government to regulate the lives of nasty minorities, not me” pose is taken by someone who isn’t directly being screwed by it.
Sometimes, they become so blinded to this notion that they neglect the original goal of gay rights’ movements–to make it possible for us to live freely and openly without our sexuality preventing us from participating in society or advancing professionally. They seem to think we need government to grant us more “rights” in order to effect the needed social change.
In Dan Blatt’s world. Economics, government, and culture exist in hermetically sealed bubbles where none may affect the other. Sure, it may have seemed in Segregation that cultural bigotry enforced itself through political laws denying minorities voting and purchasing rights that further exasperated economic discrimination, but Dan knows that it was just a crack squad of mean liberal government regulators that caused all the problems that the kindly old Southern shopowners were powerless to resist.
They really wanted to hire dem niggers as equals, and sell goods to ’em, but the mean old Lieberals in Washington just wouldn’t let ’em.
Also, Dan apparently keeps his dissonance in check by erasing every conservative attempt to use the government to enshrine discrimination against gays. DADT, DOMA? What are they? All I’m seeing is mean liberals attacking good strong conservative leather daddies with their firm swats of Big Government. What?!? I totally get play and am not just sublimating my love life into fetishizing the Republican Party!
A new study seems to show quite the opposite, confirming a point I’ve been making for as long as I’ve been talking about gay issues, that all we need is economic freedom, given that private enterprises tend to respond readily to changes in society.
There is no link to this new study. Oh sure, there’s a link to a study later on, but it’s after a sentence that goes “Others have also studied how economic freedom helps people like us.” What was this mythical study? Was it a brilliant jewel full of scientific inquiry that finally would shut up all us mean old liberals that insist on attacking his homophobic friends? Or was it an attempt to make the same weak sauce we’ll encounter later seem like multiple studies all totally supporting his desperate need to justify fighting against his own humanity on a regular basis?
Truly there is no greater quandr-HA HA HA, yeah, I can’t keep a straight face for this one, it’s the latter.
Even in the Bush era, I noted, an increasing number of corporations adopted non-discrimination clauses as part of their employment policies and expanded their benefits packages to include same-sex partners.
Really? Wow! An increasing number of corporations adopted non-discrimination policies and included same-sex partners in the benefits packages?
Those must have been gifts from Free Market Jesus! Nothing to do with those smelly hippy activists you hate so much fighting in the streets to increase cultural awareness including engaging in mean old boycotts to make it worse for one’s bottom line to discriminate than support gay rights.
And definitely has nothing to do with the states of Colorado, Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, and Washington passing state non-discrimination bills in their states making it illegal to discriminate against people based on sexual orientation during those years. Not to mention those states who expanded their anti-discrimination to include trans people in the same time, nor all the cities in fuckup states that decided to pass local anti-employment-discrimination ordinances during the same time.
That wouldn’t at all greatly increase the number of companies forced to carry anti-discrimination policies in hiring or employment, nor clue in companies to get ahead of the curve before the hater market runs dry.
In Dan’s perfect world, these things couldn’t have come from nasty laws and regulations telling businesses what to do, because businesses are always good and regulations are always bad.
He needs to believe this so bad, otherwise, why has he wasted his life fighting against his basic human rights, dancing for people who wish everyone like him to die horribly? So what if it doesn’t make sense? So what if it’s stupid? Your face is stupid! See, libs, got you again, I’m not a tragedy. I sacrificed my ability to ever get laid for a good reason, damnitt! …Sob.
Others have also studied how economic freedom helps people like us. Through “Regression analysis of up to 65 countries“, Niclas Berggren of The Research Institute of Industrial Economics (IFN) and Therese Nilsson of the Department of Economics, Lund University; Research Institute of Industrial Economics (IFN) find that
Sigh, all right, let’s download this paper and look through it.
Shorter “We Wish We Were Luntz University” Hacks, Couldn’t Even Get Published in a Fake Journal:
- Allow us to make a mockery of the scientific method as we attempt to use other legitimate papers on how mixed economy low-income-inequality, high GDP nations like Sweden have higher instances of tolerance to argue that its actually the made-up bullshit of “economic freedom” and “the free market” that creates tolerance. Even though the countries with the least regulated markets would be the exact opposite in terms of GDP and income-inequality. Eh, who cares about sense? All we need is some good “begging the conclusion” paragraphs for the American Wingnut Circuit and we can cash in our Koch dollars with the last of our dignity.
And no,
What have earlier and somewhat related studies had to say about the determinants of tolerance?6 Corneo and Jeanne (2009) find a positive relation between tolerance towards homosexuals and two policy-related factors: GDP per capita and becoming a new EU member state, which entailed prohibition of discrimination based on sexual orientation. Andersen and Fetner (2008) investigate what impact income inequality has on attitudes towards homosexuality, and their findings suggest a negative relationship but also that the better off become more tolerant with higher incomes. Hence, both income and income inequality seem relevant when studying the formation of tolerance.
I’m not kidding about that shit.
It’s a bunch of “how do we get the conclusion we want” garbage that likes to glide over the fact that the most tolerant nations on homosexuality like the Scandanavian countries have economies the most bitched about for being “socialist anti-capitalist nightmares”, full on ignoring inconvenient examples like Somalia where free enterprise has the greatest “freedom” from government, and regularly mixing in indicators of strong government regulation of industry just to get a stronger correlation.
And nearly every paragraph is just a long winding conversation about their talking points without any damn definition of their terms or any real science.
It’s basically another in a long line of think tank created bullshit studies to be cited on wingnut media as proof that the free market cures cancer and saves babies as long as you cut taxes for the rich enough.
Though I wonder what’ll happen to that industry if wingnuts get their wish and reduce every country into their hell-hole third world ideals.
But back to the person who doesn’t have the excuse of crying into a pillow made of money for why he’s a self-hating whore to rich people who hate him.
. . . economic freedom is positively related to tolerance towards homosexuals, especially in the longer run, while tolerance towards people of a different race and a willingness to teach kids tolerance are not strongly affected by how free markets are. Stable monetary policy and outcomes is the area of economic freedom most consistently associated with greater tolerance, but the quality of the legal system seems to matter as well. We furthermore find indications of a causal relationship and of social trust playing a role as a mechanism in the relationship between economic freedom and tolerance and as an important catalyst: the more trust in society, the more positive the effect of economic freedom on tolerance.
Or to him quoting the rancid pile of slop that was the unpublished, unreviewed, and thoroughly unscientific study.
Now, you or me, might notice that clump of text has more relationship to word salad trying to sound smart rather than an actual study that has genuinely discovered something.
But we’re not desperate for something, anything to soothe our aching dissonance.
In short, free markets are good for gays. To see how the scholars reached their conclusion just download the study at the above link.
Yes, if you do, you can see exactly how they sharted it out by deliberately misinterpreting studies that showed that big hippie liberal societies that support mean old Big Government also seem to have less issues about giving filthy minorities rights.
It’s almost like societies where the majority are willing to screw themselves over economically all so some bugger they hate gets fucked worse, hate more often.
But Dan knows that’s not true. Any day now, the Free Market will descend down the chimney and hold him in its big strong can-do arms and take him to a magical land where full equality occurs without having to acknowledge the blood, sweat, and tears of filthy hippie types. And then you’ll see who had it right, you damn liberals!
…then you’ll… see… sniff.
And I won’t even get into the fact that the “study” uses a simple linear analysis (i.e. the least accurate correlation indicator possible) with fucked up the ass error bars and based on a completely inaccurate database that’s just making up its numbers to make it seem like the best producing countries (like Sweden) somehow have laizze-faire economies (HA).
If I ever start to feel fed up with diving into the fetid jungle waters of Outer Wingnuttia, I just need to remind myself that there is a whole ‘nother avenue of infuriating bullshit out there. Wingnuts aping scientific posturing while not understanding a damn thing about how it works.
And for the experienced mango-divers, I fucking double dog dare you to read that 30 page monstrosity of a “research” “paper”.
Was that a typo? Shouldn’t that be “professional capon?”
The market can never fail, it can only be failed.
Oh yeah, fake science gotta love it. This reminds me of some of the cooked up climate “science” papers that the global warming denialists always quote. Tim Lambert at Deltoid and Joe Romm at Climate Progress are great at exposing that nonsense.
Unpublished, unreviewed science is the best.
economic freedom is positively related to tolerance towards homosexuals, especially in the longer run, while tolerance towards people of a different race and a willingness to teach kids tolerance are not strongly affected by how free markets are
Translated: economic freedom is good for gay tolerance but not for teaching tolerance.
From the university of Turnip, Tractor and Buttocks.
Not to pick a nit, it should be “kapo.” Capowitha’c’ is an eyetie mobster.
Fuckin’ slavery. How does it work?
And the winner for best footnote goes to footnote 2 in BROWNMARK FILMS, LLC, v. COMEDY PARTNERS, et al. Appeal from the United States District Court for the Eastern District of Wisconsin. 7th Circuit.
“2. Adopting this posture would have given SPDS greater
freedom in setting out its fair-use defense. In its reply brief,
Brownmark makes much of the fact that SPDS mentions Butters’
naïveté, but had not introduced evidence on Butters’ innocent
nature. While we do not feel that this case turns on any such
naïveté, SPDS could have introduced previous South Park
episodes to show that Butters has repeatedly demonstrated
a lack of understanding of sex. See, e.g., Butters’ Very Own
Episode (Comedy Central television broadcast Dec. 12, 2001)
(perceiving sex as wrestling), see also Cartman Sucks (Comedy
Central television broadcast Mar. 14, 2007); Stupid Spoiled
Whore Video Playset (Comedy Central television broadcast Dec.
1, 2004). Indeed, in one of these episodes, Butters is dressed
in the same teddy bear costume he wears in the WWITB video.
Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset (Comedy Central
television broadcast Dec. 1, 2004).”
https://www.eff.org/sites/default/files/Brownmark%20Decision.pdf
For more on What what in your but v. Butters, and to see the videos in question http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/thr-esq/south-park-wins-appeals-court-what-what-butt-334786
And my comments weren’t off topic because But Sex and Dan Blatt is also a cartoon character.
Best Footnote Shorter.
Butters: “I’m just a little bi-curious!”
This is my all-time fave Cerb headline.
gocart: I recalled every one of the episodes cited in footnote 2. Dunno what that says about me, excpet that I rate for Butters. (The character, that is.)
Also I have asked this again and again and again and again:
Whatever happened to the GayPutz’s annual Conservative Blogress Diva contest? Has he stopped the poll–make your own joke– merely to prevent Sadlies from having a delightful two weeks of ballot-stuffing to determine the winner? Was Robin of Berkeley the winner of the final Ethel?
I don’t follow reichwing sites at all (except via links here) so I have no clue if the Blogress Diva has been discontinued. Maybe a bunch of people might go over and ask him, seeing as how his linkee is conveniently at the top o this page……?
And for the experienced mango-divers, I fucking double dog dare you to read that 30 page monstrosity of a “research” “paper”.
enh…after diving for those rancid, rancid mangoes of yesterday, imma pretty sure i would become much to angry if i accepted this challenge…however after copious amounts of vodka and/or bourbon this evening, i may be of a different mindset…
Just picked up on Cerb’s photoshop magazine cover. Well played !
a positive relation between tolerance towards homosexuals and […] prohibition of discrimination based on sexual orientation.
No-one could possibly have predicted that government intervention in the labour market to penalise discrimination would be associated with less discrimination.
Really? Wow! An increasing number of corporations adopted non-discrimination policies and included same-sex partners in the benefits packages?
Those must have been gifts from Free Market Jesus! Nothing to do with those smelly hippy activists you hate so much fighting in the streets to increase cultural awareness including engaging in mean old boycotts to make it worse for one’s bottom line to discriminate than support gay rights.
And definitely has nothing to do with the states of Colorado, Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, and Washington passing state non-discrimination bills in their states making it illegal to discriminate against people based on sexual orientation during those years. Not to mention those states who expanded their anti-discrimination to include trans people in the same time, nor all the cities in fuckup states that decided to pass local anti-employment-discrimination ordinances during the same time.
That wouldn’t at all greatly increase the number of companies forced to carry anti-discrimination policies in hiring or employment, nor clue in companies to get ahead of the curve before the hater market runs dry.
All of this QFT.
Really it’s just a variation on the old conservative trope that “Christian countries are good for gays,” who then point to “Christian” countries which are mostly heavily secularized and where gay rights, like many other rights, had to be fought for tooth and nail with their “Christian” factions resisting every step of the way (while conveniently ignoring the persecution of gays in Christian countries that haven’t gone through that kind of process, like Uganda).
Conservatives are geniuses at claiming that the things that were forced down their throats by people they hate should somehow be credited to them once these things have become part of the mainstream.
Dan may have a point. One besides his head. After all, that Titan of the free market, Enron, had DP benefits. It was very very very good for gays. Two of them, anyway.
http://www.houstonpress.com/content/printVersion/225970/
And for the experienced mango-divers, I fucking double dog dare you to read that 30 page monstrosity of a “research” “paper”.
Sorry, my haz-mat suit is still at the cleaner’s from the last time I dove in.
In conclusion, Brazil is a land of contrasts.
If your academic paper on economics includes a weasel-word like “seems,” & it isn’t in a quotation of someone else or a marginal addenda, your agenda is showing … & it’s probably rewrite time. Also, I presume the authors dare not turn the question around & examine whether more tolerance creates better economic output (SPOILER: well DUH, yeah, it totally does).
Just like the premeditated rape of a country’s treasury is a great way to short-circuit present & future social programs, burning down university research budgets & publically-funded grant programs turns out to be a fantastic method for convincing researchers & the foundations who love them to extrude pseudo-science on demand to keep their meal-ticket alive. Cue presidential wannabe Republicretins smiling like the Cheshire Cat on crack & promising to abolish the DOE …
So Dan, your party’s base thinks (at best) that you’re a second-class citizen who should be denied marriage or employment at will. At worst, they think you should be cordoned off behind an electric fence for the rest of your life.
Oh, and they think you should burn in hell for all eternity. No, seriously, they do.
I sure hope those wingnut-welfare checks are worth it.
OT: Why is there no Wonder Woman/Captain America slash (usage after BBBB)? I looked on fanfiction.net, the veritable slough of despond for English letters (not to mention many other languages) and NADA. (Yes, I checked both “teen” and “mature”.)
Relevant.
Rule 34 has failed me. I haz a sad nao. 🙁
Faaaak.
I can never catch up, here. So forgive me for not even trying.
I will simply greet you in the manner of my peoples: Keep fuckin’ that chicken!
.
Back when I was sixteen I had meany dreams involving Lynda Carter arresting me and making me confess…
What?
Many, even.
Why is there no Wonder Woman/Captain America slash
The super-powered steroids that made him what he is left him a capon.
Meany is more interesting.
Oh, she wouldn’t have needed to get meany with me. Unless she really wanted to…
Oh! Just got the call… meeting my South African (now naturalized, tenderized) friend and his 30yo stepdaughter at a swingers club downtown.
This is, as they say, the life.
.
I got your hardcore science action right here.
Meany is more interesting.
I think Hoffa is more interesting: he had a movie made about him.
at a swingers club downtown.
We wantz lurid details!
Bradley Manning update from Aljazeera.
http://blogs.aljazeera.com/blog/americas/us-officials-testify-manning-hearing
Why is there no Wonder Woman/Captain America slash
Interesting question.
http://superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1337:how-does-one-classify-bondage-comics-without-wonder-woman&catid=30:frames-and-panels-index&Itemid=34
Special Women’s Lib issue, Heh.
http://superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1315:irony-thy-name-is-wonder-woman&catid=34:suffering-sappho-index&Itemid=39
Unpublished, unreviewed science is the best.
But still not as good as unpublished George Orwell prefaces.
We wantz lurid details!
Well, let’s say this: It was a business meeting.
Stepdaughter has experience working in the escort biz. She needs a better job. Stepdad (Andre) has been living in a 5000-sq. ft. home with the ex-wife for eight months. Ex-wife wants to move on; Andre needs to come up with her half of the nut on the mortgage.
Talk is of recruiting web cam girls, and setting up the McMansion to provide sets. I’m the tech guy in this equation.
.
He wants to hang onto this home, and he should. It’s nicer than Tony Soprano’s. Plenty of spare rooms, out in the near-country, secluded, on a huge, beautiful, landscaped lot.
The idea intrigues me.
.
Talk is of recruiting web cam girls, and setting up the McMansion to provide sets. I’m the tech guy in this equation.
So, you may become involved in the p0rn business? It’s a growth industry!
The idea intrigues me.
Undstandable. You DO have a thing about nice pussies….
Undstandable. You DO have a thing about nice pussies….
That would be a different sort of blog entirely!
Back when I was sixteen I had meany dreams involving Lynda Carter arresting me and making me confess…
And here I thought I was the only one.
gocart: I recalled every one of the episodes cited in footnote 2.
Butters’ Very Own Episode was the first South Park episode I ever saw. I was a bit disappointed to find out it was an odd man out.
And here I thought I was the only one.
Please. Lasso me baby!
Thank you sir. I haven’t laughed that hard in days. Been there, done that.
Suggested pr0n site name:
Prestonian’s Palace o’ Pussy
I got your hardcore science action right here.
Ditto LiP’s reaction. Thank FSM I wasn’t drinking liquid. I sent this to the science professors in my family: a chemical geologist, an evolutionary biologist, and an astrophysicist.
A new piece of fuckery regarding Romney.
He seems to combine the understanding of everyday people possessed by George HW Bush with the empathy of George W Bush.
Another vote for jim’s link, that was the funniest thing I have seen in a long time.
A new piece of fuckery regarding Romney.
Willard is every bit the conceited asshole he appears to be. I’m not surprised.
Nym-
Yeah, given exactly what we’ve already recorded about the Smiler’s concept of jokes and pranks, I have no doubt whatsoever that his “pulling over of women from the women’s college” came with some heavy duty “if you don’t want a ticket you need to do something for me” shit.
jim-
Oh my Bob, yes! That’s exactly what doing labs in undergraduate classes felt like, especially for the ones that randomly graded you on results rather than effort or understanding of the main concepts. I learned more about falsifying data for pre-determined conclusions from those classes than I ever did about real science.
From Nym’s link:
In The Real Romney, a biography published by Boston Globe reporters Michael Kranish and Scott Helman this year, another former friend recalled how Romney had “put a siren on top of his car and chased two of his friends who were driving around with their dates.” The two friends were in on the scheme, but the girls were not. There was beer in the car trunk, according to a prearranged plan. Mitt told his two counterparts to get out of their vehicle and into his car. Then they drove off, leaving the girls behind.
Hi-larious.
Ya know, ol’ Rand Paul, the Aqua Buddha himself, is looking more and more likely as a Veep.
I can see it now, Fraternity Presidency II:Old Man Cheney’s Gone!
Back when I was sixteen I had meany dreams involving Lynda Carter arresting me and making me confess…
One word: Isis.
One word: Isis.
Yeah, the neighbors kept wondering why I occasionally cried out “OH mighty Isis!”
Here in socialist Canada I can’t find ONE GAY ON THE STORE SHELVES. Where’s the freedom?
Random thought fragments:
Romney should team up with Aqua Buddha.
The Republican Party should change its name to “The Aqua Buddha Team Hunger Force.”
Mittons Scizzorhands
Here in socialist Canada I can’t find ONE GAY ON THE STORE SHELVES. Where’s the freedom?
Not even Ben Gay?
Here in socialist Canada I can’t find ONE GAY ON THE STORE SHELVES.
You’re looking in the wrong place. Try the meat market.
In today’s perverted penguin news we have this: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-18370797#sa-ns_mchannel=rss&ns_source=PublicRSS20-sa
Linda Carter was a stone cold fox, and, frankly, still looks pretty damn good.
I shan’t be bothered to look through previous posts but none the less S. cerevisiae should consider himself AHEMed.
In today’s perverted penguin news we have this
And penguins is practically
chickensperverts.Do they taste like chicken?
Do they taste like chicken?
Somewhere between Bald Eagle and Whooping Crane.
Do they taste like chicken?
IT’S JUST ICE-CREAM.
omfg. so danny believes that *uch* “free markets” increase tolerance toward gay peoples? REALLY? hahahaha yeah honey free markets will take all your money and leave you twisting in the wind. He srsly believes that? Oh ahem forgot the axiom “it is very hard to get a man to understand something when his paycheck depends on his not understanding it”.With apologies for all the gender specific stuff in that quote.
Definitely did NOT get out of the boat. Ackkkkk.
Oh also, I have a DATE for the first time since Patrick’s death. My friend Sandy the Republican is all excited for me, I told her “Sandy this is NOT that kind of date, old boyfriend from the 90s his best friend committed suicide a few months before Patrick, he’s still tore up, it’s just we’re trying to get a few laffs and see a movie”. She’s all like, yeah that’s what you say NOW, but……………
Hmmmmm. No. This is just a movie and friendship. She gets all teasy and on me about it, and I said “Sandy, really……….you think I’d actually SLEEP with a Republican”? BWAHAHAHA.
She goes oh fuck you, touche.
I’m sorta proud of myself for that actually. Snrk
.you think I’d actually SLEEP with a Republican”
That’s why they have to recruit the young—they have no means of reproduction.
haha yes indeed like the Shakers of old exactamundo
Sexually exploratory free market Butters makes him buy-curious?
.you think I’d actually SLEEP with a Republican
The wet-suits would probably chafe.
Oh my Bob, yes!
I’m sure glad folks liked that … I’d been saving it up like a fine wine for some worthy place to plop it down.
The Berggren-Nilsson word-slaw seemed just perfect for the link I fondly named “Electron Band Structure In Germanium MY ASS.”
Sure smells mighty funny to me that they can correlate falling homophobia to Teh *F*r*e*e*M*a*r*k*e*t* (Abracadabra Heil! Abracadabra Heil! Abracadabra Heil!) but not falling racism. The self-evident contrary/corrolary thesis, which is a much stronger one vis. their own purported data (that heteros just aren’t as good with handling money as the gheys) would be much easier to refute or confirm … so where the hell is THAT paper, HENNNNNGGHH?!?
Doubleplushappy not to be seeing variations of my previous comment over & over, because I jammed it into FYWP at least three times last night & it looked like all was in vain. Sweet mother of fuck but do I ever hate when it plays coy like that*.
Needing a big shiny scienterrific academic-type paper** in order to “discover” a direct link between trust & tolerance = two Swedish kids who really need to get outside more often & mingle with their fellow animate meat-envelopes for more than two minutes at a time.
___________________________________
* … or when I’m too myopic/derp-enriched to see that it posted just fine like that, as is most likely.
** No, I did NOT download the beast – the galloping intellectual masochism with which to enjoy it just isn’t happening for me.
A corrolary, by the by, is when logic has a coronary.
THE MOAR YOU KNWO!
Actually, it’s not so inconsistent. A lot of these assholes have been saying for a long time that civil rights laws are unneeded because “the free market” will reward non-prejudiced types and punish bigots. If a store turns away black customers, so the reasoning goes, it’s only hurting itself.
Dinette March d’ Souza or whatever his name is actually tried to argue this with regard to major league baseball, an argument remarkable for how it manages to ignore the actual history of major league baseball.
When my mother was a college kid she worked in a medical school lab. She and the other staffers took her boss/mentor out to lunch to celebrate a promotion, but the only place they could go was Chinatown, because that was the only neighborhood with restaurants that would serve a black man. I once had some Libertarian jagoff argue that the Chinese restaurants made the profit off the meal, which gave them the advantage over the restaurants that wouldn’t serve him, and in the long term they would prosper blah blah yada yak.
So if the Free Market Fairy is omnipotent over racial prejudice, why not homophobia?
Names:
March 1998, Lloyd Marcus, rising star, and Lumpy Lulu, Lloyd’s cousin outside Jack Dempsey’s on Dauphine St
Lloyd, why don’t we go down to the river and smoke this special thang I got?
What you talkin’ ’bout, special thang? I ain’t into that shit no more.
Aww, Lloyd, you tellin’ me you forgot them times down at the docks?
Lumpy, you shutup ’bout them times. I ain’t like that no more. I got a good thing goin here. I got a following.
You was always freaky Lloyd. You got a following, that’s what you said?
That’s right Lumpy, I got a following and they pays me to talk shit to ’em.
Pay you to talk shit? Well kiss my ass, Lloyd Marcus. Mama said you shoulda been a preacher, just like yo daddy.
Preachin ain’t shit, Lumpy. And it don’t pay shit neither. This gig I got is better than preachin. ‘Sides, they’s too many preachers.
Aww, Lloyd, you so smart. You cute too, with that hat. That’s your trademark, right?
That’s right Lumpy, you got’s to wear something they’ll remember you by.
Aww, Lloyd. You handsome.
Shut up Lumpy. I know what you doing.
Aww, Lloyd, if you know what I’m doing, why we standing out here?
We out here Lumpy because I can’t let nobody see me alone with you.
What?
That’s right. You see, I took a position.
A position? What the fuck do that mean, a position?
Well, Lumpy, see here, I have to make my followers think that I think like they think. And they don’t like no funny folks.
Aww, Lloyd, then they don’t know about us?
Hell naw, and you better shut yo damn mouth ’bout that shit.
Well Lloyd, I guess we better go back inside. I see my momma and your daddy talking at the punch bowl.
Lumpy, there ain’t nothing in the punch bowl.
I know Lloyd, that’s why I brought this special thang.
I can’t stand these damn community meetings Lumpy. Everybody is so uptight.
Well, Lloyd, it look’s like to me you the only motherfucker uptight.
You don’t understand, Lumpy, you my cousin and they gonna think I’m running around with my cousin. Damn.
Aww, Lloyd, why don’t we just take a quick stroll down by the docks?
Damn you, Lumpy. Okay, but there and back, just to burn that stick.
Whatever you say, handsome.
I know! Let’s experiment!
We’ll form a company and hire a bunch of unemployed NFL linebackers and Hockey enforcers to repeatedly kick Libertarian jagoff in the nuts.
In the long term the companies that don’t do this will have an advantage and will prosper.
Let’s see if he’s willing to wait around for market forces to stop the daily nut-kicking or will he beg for the heavy hand of big government to intervene?
Kevlar jockstraps are the imperial eagle of Liberal Fascism.
Jeffraham, you’ll need a beta tester or two, yes?
Jeffraham, you’ll need a beta tester or two, yes?
Especially for credit card processing purposes, yes! 🙂
.
gary kreep and garland peed…that is funneh!
each monday morning, the radio station has a program called ‘faith talk’ which is hosted by a local pastor and his wife…she sounds like zelda rubin…and the verses she’s reading today sound extra funny…
Much like conservatives love to pretend that Robert Byrd being in the KKK means Democrats were the real party of racists forever and always, that Bill Clinton signed these laws means they’re “Democrat” laws and thus liberals are responsible for all the legal discrimination against gays (because Democrat=liberal by some transitive property where a bunch of kocksucking DLC assholes and blue dogs are all “liberals.”)
Good morning and let me thank the free market for being berry berry good to me. Thank you free market!
I approve of free market berries.
ironical
Dinette March d’ Souza or whatever his name is actually tried to argue this with regard to major league baseball, an argument remarkable for how it manages to ignore the actual history of major league baseball.
I remember, perhaps eight years ago, goggling at a USENET discussion in which a well known troll (to whom I have referred before, and whom I will not identify for fear of self-googling) was vociferously arguing the claim that southern business owners didn’t want to segregate their lunch counters. The gubmint forced them to do it, you see, otherwise they would have cheerfully sold lunch to every black person who came along, and thus maximized their profits, instead of being legally required to invoke Bull Connor and his mad dogs.
Major League baseball was involved in that debate in some way, too, so I imagine the nut got some of his ideas from D’Souza.
Sometimes I wish I lived in Imaginarylibertariantopialand. The people there seem to be much nicer than the racist fucksticks we have to deal with here on planet Earth.
I approve of free market berries.
Fuck yeah! I gorged myself on mulberries while taking a nice long walk in the park.
Sometimes I wish I lived in Imaginarylibertariantopialand. The people there seem to be much nicer than the racist fucksticks we have to deal with here on planet Earth.
The smokestacks belch jasmine and honeysuckle scent into the air.
Hmmm… sounds like a Libertarian re-write of The Big Rock Candy Mountain is in order.
Hell, I remember the resident Libertarian asshole who hung around my college newspaper office arguing all one night that Adolf Hitler didn’t know about the Holocaust–it was all done behind his back. (That was a lot more than eight years ago.) Where do they get this stuff?
that Adolf Hitler didn’t know about the Holocaust–it was all done behind his back.
srsly?! that is some pure, unadulterated crazy right there…
srsly?! that is some pure, unadulterated crazy right there…
This guy was my life introduction to Libertarians. He was one of those seven-year undergraduates who spent most of their time hanging around the newspaper office. He would write a headline once in a while, but most of his time was spent arguing with whoever would listen. The Hitler thing was his craziest, but he approached it in preposterousness several times. His favorite tactic, when cornered, was to screech, “I don’t know what books you’ve read!”
I’m sure that by now he’s a G5 or something, about to enjoy a nice, secure, government-funded retirement.
I’m sure that by now he’s a G5 or something, about to enjoy a nice, secure, government-funded retirement.
Nah, he probably figured out a way to get some S.S.I. disability payments at an early age and occasionally stages a sham accident for extra cashola.
Libertarians for Hilter. Hmmm. What does that remind me of? (peeks at top of page) oh yeah, Dan.
“Hitler didn’t know about it” is a fairly typical gateway drug for Holocaust-deniers. The typical syllogism is:
If Hitler didn’t know, then it wasn’t policy, just a few bad apples, and a few bad apples couldn’t have killed that many people, and really the dead ones probably had it coming for being communists anyway.
And you know, I was wondering what the libertarian angle on this was, and I think I just worked it out for myself in the last bit.
And penguins is practically
chickensperverts.Bravo Major. El Bwahna appreciates.
…really the dead ones probably had it coming for being communists anyway.
That was what Westbrook Pegler, who was the 1940s-50s syndicated newspaper version of Rush Limbaugh, told a gathering after the war. That little utterance cost him his syndicated gig. He drifted down to the John Birch Society’s house organ (that generation’s version of VDARE), got too fucked up even for them, and proceeded to live the rest of his life on the margins.
Ah, if only that would happen to Limbaugh.
Ah, if only that would happen to Limbaugh.
Ah, for the days when Birchers could still feel shame.
Of course there’s no chance that southern busniessman cynically calculated which would be better for them 1. Exclude blacks and keep all of their bigoted white clientelle or 2. Accomodate blacks (and all of their disposable income) and alienate and lose the white patrons. So the argument is that southern white businessmen were altruistic and not at all bigoted and also had such strong egalitarian impulses that they would have courageously made less money rather than discriminate. What the fuck ever dudes.
Fail, meet metafail.
Andrew Breitbart: activist organic composting supporter.
I guess the thinking was, that you only have to get one rube to shell out 5 clams for the pic and there’s all your expenses covered for another 6 months of Cheetos. Now, how many citizens of Breitbartistan will have paid? J. O’Keefe? H. Giles?
I believe citizens O’Keefe and Giles would probably see through this naked attempt at cash gouging hagiography. However, I would not put it past either of them to have in their possession a jar of finger/toe nail clippings from their departed mentor.
Submitted without comment: http://weprideny.com/2012/06/08/weprideny-pic-of-the-day-21/
Heh, that’s awesome, Pup.
Des MoinesPOOP.It’s not just the penguins!
So…you’re saying Des Moinesians are poopieheads?
So…you’re saying Des Moinesians are poopieheads?
I had a lot of Des Moines layovers back when I was on the 727. Couldn’t tell you much about it. The hotel was out at the same tacky suburban strip you see everywhere else – Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Best Buy etc.
I could have been in Des Moines or Tulsa and it would have looked the same.
My baby girl is all growed up…*sniff*
My baby girl is all growed up…*sniff*
She’s a gradumagate? Goodoner! I gots me one’a those too.
However, the fact that my son turned 21 yesterday has me a little numb. Not only that but I’m sleeping with a 50 year old! Fuuuuuu…
My baby girl is all growed up…*sniff*
Congrats! Oddly enough, I was expecting a picture of a car.
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT….**fans self…”
Yeah, she is in my top 5–especially when she got older. An older woman that is hot is one of the hottest things on the planet, according to the tsam who is always right and never wrong except when he is but in this case he is positive that he is correct and if you don’t like Ms Carter you’re bad at liking stuff.
However, the fact that my son turned 21 yesterday has me a little numb. Not only that but I’m sleeping with a 50 year old! Fuuuuuu…
I’m still trying to accept 18–I feel for ya bro!
NOTICE THE HONORS TASSLES, SHEEPLE.
Also noteworthy, she got a certificate from the state for graduating among the top 10% of all Washington graduates.
Proud dad is immensely proud.
The dude next to her is some creep who paid her to stand in for that photograph.
I was going to ask why you let her hang out with “street people.”
…to which I would reply with something like this: “If you had read any books besides Mein Kampf reboots, you wouldn’t be trying to absolve Hitler of actually ordering a “Final Solution” to the “Jew Problem”.”
What a fucking waste of life. Seriously, dudes like this should be put down.
I was going to ask why you let her hang out with “street people.”
I’m a permissive parent…keeps me from feeling like a hypocrite.
NOTICE THE HONORS TASSLES, SHEEPLE.
Also noteworthy, she got a certificate from the state for graduating among the top 10% of all Washington graduates.
Congratulations. What are her college plans?
The dude next to her is some creep who paid her to stand in for that photograph.
I think she looks quite a bit like you.
Congratulations. What are her college plans?
University of Washington, Seattle, WA. She’s so jacked she forgets how to speak sometimes.
I think she looks quite a bit like you.
UNCALLED FOR! THAT WAS FUCKING RUDE. I’LL EXPECT A LETTER OF APOLOGY TO MY POOR DAUGHTER WITHIN THE DAY OR YOU’LL BE HEARING FROM MY ATTORNEY!
She’ll fit right in at college.
But seriously, congrats!
UNCALLED FOR! THAT WAS FUCKING RUDE. I’LL EXPECT A LETTER OF APOLOGY TO MY POOR DAUGHTER WITHIN THE DAY OR YOU’LL BE HEARING FROM MY ATTORNEY!
“I wish we lived in the day where you could challenge a person to a duel.”
Great news, tsam. You look quite different without the rockin mane you were sporting in the last picture I remember seeing, but I guess that’s not really the right look for the father of a graduate.
Hate to be a downer on this happy day, but I have a sad.
. An older woman that is hot is one of the hottest things on the planet
The glamorous Mrs. Kong is 53, believe it or not.
http://i46.tinypic.com/30l2dkm.jpg
Zinfandel MAX.
The glamorous Mrs. Kong is 53, believe it or not.
I bid three quatloos!
Zinfandel MAX.
The suggestion of “beer graded like milk” comes up against the ugly reality of the Baltika beer range.
Congrats on the grad, tsam, and congrats on the foxy wife, Major.
Uncalled-for blogwhore: I finally have up a new post over at my joint, in which 3 grandmas watch the Kim Kardashian sex tape and provide color commentary. Worth the watch.
Proud dad is immensely proud.
as you should be! congrats! i see she has your hair…
Proud dad is immensely proud.
PlusOneEleventy.
.
yeah…i’m not going to get* ‘inception’ am i?
*this comes from the person who had to have ‘the illusionist’ explained to her and still doesn’t get how ed norton can shoot half his head off and still live in ‘fight club’…
and still doesn’t get how ed norton can shoot half his head off and still live in ‘fight club’…
He didn’t, though. He shot through his cheek, pretty much. Granted, he’d be deaf as a post, at best.
.
The glamorous Mrs. Kong is 53, believe it or not.
wow…how does the lovely mrs. k stay so wrinkle free?
He didn’t, though. He shot through his cheek, pretty much. Granted, he’d be deaf as a post, at best.
hmmm…i must have missed this when the son was explaining it to me for the ninetyelevnth time…still, i don’t get that whole movie anyway…and inception is looking like i don’t have a chance…
i’m not going to get* ‘inception’ am i?
You’re a mom. You’ve already incepted.
i see she has your hair…
Izzat where it went?
still, i don’t get that whole movie anyway…
It’s pretty fucked up, actually, but a lot of men can relate to slivers of it, myself included.
.
wow…how does the lovely mrs. k stay so wrinkle free?
I think there was a contract signed in blood somewhere along the way.
Inception isn’t remotely confusing. It’s quite simple and straightforward, actually.
Try Mulholland Dr. if you really want to be confused.
Yours?
Try Mulholland Dr. if you really want to be confused
um, yeah…after watching that one, hubbkf and i looked at each other and simultaneously went, “huh?”
in any case we’ve switched over to ‘red riding hood’…so far, i think it blows…and i think hubbkf is hoping for some boobage…
and i think hubbkf is hoping for some boobage…
He was probably thinking it was “Red, Riding the Hood”.
in any case we’ve switched over to ‘red riding hood’…so far, i think it blows…and i think hubbkf is hoping for some boobage…
Silent Hill still holds the record for gratuitous and inappropriate boobage. Unless, of course, you have a thing for slutty zombie nurses.
Unless, of course, you have a thing for slutty zombie nurses.
who doesn’t?
Prim zombie nurses.
I don’t dare google “Red, Riding the Hood” because I’m sure it actually exists.
Personally, I found Little Red Riding Hood very entertaining.
…
Oh, sorry, it was actually Little Red Riding Whore.
Try Mulholland Dr. if you really want to be confused.
It makes as much sense as anything in Lynch’s fucked up haidbone.
Stupid fuck thinks he’s such an artiste that putting chapters on his DVDs would be a corruption? Fuck him.
.
It does make it harder to skip to the lesbian scene…or so I would imagine.
Man, two pervert jokes in a row? I’m on a role tonight!
and still doesn’t get how ed norton can shoot half his head off and still live in ‘fight club’…
Actually, this apparently happens sometimes. People try to kill themselves, but the bullet doesn’t hit the right bits of brain.
In Ed Norton’d case, though, I think the explanation is that it was an imaginary wound to deal with an imaginary problem.
And I’m not ruling out the possibility that Mulholland Drive has a point other than “faux male-gaze lesbians are way hot”, I just strongly doubt it.
Actually, I think Mulholland Dr. makes sense if you assume the first half is a dream of Naomi Watts’ character in the second half. The whole thing’s about the artificiality of the Hollywood veneer and blah blah blah. I don’t know. I haven’t seen it in years and I don’t really care.
All I know is that guy behind the restaurant freaked me the hell out.
eurotrip: hubbkf finally got to see some boobage…
Congrats, tsam. She’s a lovely girl. She gets her smarts from mrs tsam, I assume?
Now for college debt.
She’s a lovely girl. She gets her smarts from mrs tsam, I assume?
And her looks?
The postman.
wtf?!?!
You never heard the threat “I’m gonna rip your lungs out”?
Come to think of it, do we know where team was yesterday?
You better stay away from him, he’ll rip your lungs out Jim.
You know, if more people just followed the simple measure of writing their name and address on all of their internal organs, those lungs could have been returned to their owner much more quickly.
It’s all good fun until somebody gets their lungs ripped out.
Rip rip, I’m gonna rip ’em out now.
See, people, THIS is why we need a mandatory national DNA database! In case your lungs just show up on the street sometime.
Come to think of it, do we know where team was yesterday?
here’s the scenario i’ve come up with: tsam was visiting mb the night before his daughter’s graduation, things got out of hand and, well…tsam ended up ripping some ahole’s lungs out…then he hopped on a plane and attended graduation. even though mb was a witness to the whole thing, he went back ‘later that night’ and ‘found’ the ‘anonymous’ set of lungs…
either that or somebody really had a coughing fit…
Something neat I found today.
Also, too, tsam, your daughter is a cutie patootie. Congrats to you both!
Speaking of lungs being ripped out…..
I heard a heck of a commotion on my patio this morning.
A stray cat had come over the 6-foot fence and Patches aka Pookie-cat aka Zena Warrior Princess was having none of that.
At this impressive show-of-force, the intruder beat a hasty retreat back over the fence.
Note to self. Don’t ever piss off the cat.
I heard a heck of a commotion on my patio this morning.
last week in the very wee hours of the morning, following a night out, hubbkf showed me a picture of something he found in our backyard that morning: a small herd of horses…i was like, ‘i thought i heard horses…’
in the very wee hours of this morning, we were both awakened by a weird and loud whirring sound going past our house followed about 30 seconds later by some loud talking…hubbkf was still peeking out the bedroom window, and it was one of the locals walking down our hill with some dude…this was at about 4:45, and no, they were not walking for excercise…or maybe they were if finding a joint was their main goal…
Congrats, tsam. She’s a lovely girl. She gets her smarts from mrs tsam, I assume?
Nope, there is no Mrs. tsam. All are branes are delivered by mi.
Wooot!!!
…
Nope, there is no Mrs. tsam. All are branes are delivered by mi.
so…you conceived and carried all by yourself? you are quite the talented man!
I agree.
Today will be a good day.
Today will be a good day.
Looks awesome, color me jealous!
…
Well, if history is any judge, there should be a Law & Order episode where someone gets his lungs ripped out in what, 4-6 weeks?
IT’S – MORAL DILEMMA TIME !!
And where better to explore it than right here at Sadly.No.
Background : My partner and I run a small computer access/office services shop in rural SAfrica.One of our main jobs is doing CVs, copying documents and sending off job applications for the myriad unemployed.I retired here from the Big City; she is a local lass.
So, I notice one of our regular customers is making fake Zimbabwean drivers licences on our printer. We have quite a number of Zim refugees in our town.I tell him that what he is doing is fraudulent and we don’t wish to be a party to it. Please take your business elsewhere.
My partner,D, is mad at me because :
1. He is a good customer and we are poor (True, but it’s illegal).
2. What business is it of mine what the hell he does so long as he pays (yes, but..)
3. So what if he sells fake Zim drivers licences (Unlicenced drivers = poor road safety for one – and -)
4. I thought we helped people get work – am I being xenophobic against Zimbabweans now? (Not at all – I would do the same for fake SAfrican drivers licences)
She continued in this vein – my weak rebuttals are in brackets; I am lousy at quick arguments.
What say you?
Today will be a good day.
It COULD have been if you hadn’t kept it sekrit. Prick.
Suezboo –
I don’t know SA law and I’m not expert even in US law, but it seems to me that if you know what’s going on you’re committing some kind of aiding and abetting crime yourself.
You can try saying to your customer that you welcome his business but you can’t knowingly be part of breaking the law. IOW, you’d like him to stay for his other business. It’s unlikely to work but it’s worth a try.
Disclaimer and context: I’ve fired a lot of clients over the years.
Seems like a pretty safe bet to not allow your business to be used for illegal shit. What if they were printing money? Color printers can have hidden unique codes in them that get printed so that in theory the fake ids could be traced back to your shop. I imagine your partner wouldn’t be thrilled to have the local cops seize all your stuff because of some criminal, eh?
Hmm, in hindsight I suppose I could’ve posted it here earlier. Sorry 🙁
There will be another one with holiday-themed beers in six months or so…
There will be another one with holiday-themed beers in six months or so…
Bookmark it SNOBS!
Suezboo: Tell your partner that if your shop gets busted, she’s doing all the time. And ask her what she would say to the loved ones of someone who gets run over by a driver with one of those fakes.
I have a thing against fake documents. You know who else liked fake documents?
/argument-from-Hitler
The charter school down the street is making huge advances in education in the US. I approve.
OOps. http://i.imgur.com/eyNeq.jpg
suezboo…yeah, i would say it’s a safe bet that you are ultimately responsible for illegal things going on in your shop…so, better to risk alienating one customer (who could potentially expand his illegal activities or bring in other shady practitioners)…in my non-profit world, we have a saying: you are judged by the company you keep…so, if i got a big honking donation from someone who may have gotten that money illicitly, or is a person known for unsavory activity, we have to politely decline the donation…it’s tough, but someone has to take the moral high ground…fwiw, i think you did the right thing…
Me too — next they should do cliffotines!
The charter school down the street is making huge advances in education in the US. I approve.
what the hell are they doing?
Whatever it is, I hope they aren’t targeting roadrunners.
Building trebuchets/catapaults! That’s the kind of sciencing we need to be teaching our youngsters. That and cliffotines.
what the hell are they doing?
Looks like mini trebuchets. Sort of like catapaults, but counter-weighted and way cooler. (I’m too lazy to google)
tsam: proud papa deserve to be proud. Honors tassles !
I hope they aren’t targeting roadrunners.
I see no anvils.
Hmph. I never learned how to build siege engines in school. In my day when we wanted an army to encircle a town, prevent food or water from entering and non combatants from leaving, starve them for months, and finally assault the walls with mines, battering rams and trebuchets until the walls were breached and the town stormed and looted and burned, we did it the old fashioned way. We called up the Catholic church and told them there were Cathars hiding there.
I hope they aren’t targeting roadrunners.
Mine would need to have “Acme” painted on it.
Thanks, guys. I now feel better, being more convinced I did the Right Thing.
Now to cool my partner down. She is a tad steamed.
Oh. I was going to suggest bribing the cops, but I grew up in Chicago.
Suez – you done the right thing.
Now to cool my partner down. She is a tad steamed.
MUD-WRESTLING AT SUEZBOOS!
Very relevant: http://www.trebuchet.com/
Suzeboo: If your partner isn’t satisfied, ask her to Google “George Ryan” together with “Willis family.” Phony drivers licenses are not harmless.
Building trebuchets/catapaults! That’s the kind of sciencing we need to be teaching our youngsters. That and cliffotines.
aha! i also never got to build any siege weaponry in high school…i did, however make a plastic *letter opener* in shop class…
Substance McGravitas said,
I have a thing against fake documents
If there were no fake documents then Mr Verifier would be out of a job.
something he found in our backyard that morning: a small herd of horses
No zebras? I haz a sad nao.
I have a thing against fake documents
also, too…i never pegged you for a birther, subby…
No zebras? I haz a sad nao.
i had been hoping for zebras…
i never pegged you
T. M. I.
Danish archeologists have all the fun.
Cupcake anthropology is funner.
Now I want a cupcake trebuchet.
Cupcake Trebuchet would be a good name for a band or a Palin kid.
I want a neighbor to have a cupcake trebuchet.
I thought the desktop trebuchet would be great for wasting time in an office, but I really want the one some English guys built that can hurl cars.
I thought the desktop trebuchet would be great for wasting time in an office, but I really want the one some English guys built that can hurl cars.
You must have a really huge office.
Somebody in Corvallis bought the Northern Exposure Trebuchet a while back and would throw things with it during our annual DaVinci Days festival. Good stuff — they stopped doing it for some reason. I always figured it had something to do with insurance companies.
Look at the length of this Wikipedia article about forgotten trivia.
Criminy. Perhaps the best bit:
No, I don’t think anybody cares anymore, it just needs to be shortened to:
“Ooooh, there is a scary black Muslim in Congress! Boo!”
I thought the desktop trebuchet would be great for wasting time in an office, but I really want the one some English guys built that can hurl cars.
Typical coffee break conversation…
We will fire him into the eternal darkness…
…as a testimony to our piety and godliness.
Imagine his agony as the flames rise higher…
…higher until he is but a ball of living fire!
Oh, the agony!
Imagine his horror as the mighty ballistic device…
…hurls him high into the depths of the blackened sky!
Are you imagining the horror?
Imagine the terror of his suspense…
…as our poor sacrifice waits…
…for the darkling earth to rise up and crush him to its harsh bosom!
Oh, the suspense!
-The incertitude! -Oh, the incertitude!
I like suspense.
Imagine his final horror…
…as his miserable life is snuffed out…
…in a glorious bone-crushing cascade of phosphorescence…
…as he finally, agonizingly smashes into the ground!
-That’s not fair, that. -No, it’s definitely not fair.
What’s not fair?
-How come he gets to go? -Why should he have the pain?
And that bone-crushing horror. I want to go!
-I want to go! -I want to burn.
I want to feel my bones burst into a billion pieces!
I want to trace across the firmament…
…a glowing ball of flame…
…a testament to our godliness and piety!
-What does that mean? -I don’t know, but I want it!
I still want a Nerf guillotine.
We will fire him into the eternal darkness…
…as a testimony to our piety and godliness.
in accordance with the prophecy
FTFY.
Can’t wait for Dan to cite this piece of shit “study” to cry out how fags and dykes shouldn’t be allowed to get married.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHLiK2fTZ-A&feature=plcp
This is a project I helped out with. A gunpowder mandala.
I still want a Nerf guillotine.
Those footballs have done nothing to warrant a death sentence.
Drive-by cat pimping! Watch out!
http://jprestonian.blogspot.com/2012/06/tuesday-triple-tab.html
I luv this big purr basket.
.
so…you conceived and carried all by yourself? you are quite the talented man!
I said there is no Mrs. tsam. Factual statement.
Their mother is not what can reasonably be called intelligent.
Their mother is not what can reasonably be called intelligent.
I’m often called inelegant. I don’t consider it a compli…
Oh.
Have any of y’all made a squirrel catapult? I’ve been dying to do so after viewing video clips thereof. It’d have to be deployed while the Limpette is absent, since she’s sweet for beasties and doesn’t quite share my white-hot loathing for fox squirrels, those invasive, destructive fluffy-tailed rats.
Now, our native Douglas squirrels are legitimately “cute” and harmless and may carry on unmolested.
A squirrel is nothing but a rat with a good PR man.
That being said, I still don’t think I could bring myself to catapult one.
A squirrel is nothing but a rat with a good PR man.
I always thought of squirrels as the day version of rats. Picture Vlad D: “Ah, the sqvirrels of the night…what beautiful music they make.”
Detachable PENIS: http://news.yahoo.com/male-spider-ditches-penis-gains-fighting-power-231704950.html
I have been mightily tempted to catapult squirrel though it’s the grey ones I burn to fling. Our southeastern fox squirrels are endearingly shy, retiring and attractive (some black with white ears) and don’t compete with the nasty greys. We have lots of flying squirrels and I confess to having thrown them to watch them fly but haven’t funnelated any.
I always hated trebuchet class. I did way better in ballista.
I have been mightily tempted to catapult squirrel
Could you fit one in a potato cannon? AFAF.
Mysticdog: Nifty!
This has to be my favorite bit:
Presented with the fact that all members of the House officially swear in (or affirm) en masse without the use of any religious text, and that such works are only used in ceremonial reenactments afterwards, Prager stated “that’s the whole point: it’s exactly because it’s ceremonial that it matters”.
Faaaabulous! It’s central to his point!! Way to snatch stupidity from the jaws of defeat there, nutjob.
Hey, hey, HEY…what’s with all the squirrel hate? I’ve turned several of the critters into almost-pets. Yes, they are tree rodents, but they aren’t nasty like rats. They’re just a nuisance if they get into the attic and so forth.
My tamest squirrel, the young female, did a pretty thorough inspection of the cat today, including trying to climb up into the cat’s sleeping chair with her – the sleeping chair being the place the cat retreated to after the squirrel first circled and sniffed her as she was laying on the patio. The cat is amazingly tolerant, though really doesn’t want the squirrel to get that close. It’s really funny watching them together.
There are 3 other squirrels who visit the patio but they’re all afraid of the cat. They’ll come up while she’s out there, but they give her wide berth, and if she so much as sits up while they’re on the patio, they take off. Mostly I just like watching them. For animals with brains the size of a walnut, they’re pretty clever.
“Male spider ditches penis, gains fighting power.”
Punchline one: sounds like a Fist of the North Star episode.
Punchline two: “One moron “awoke during the night with a desire to urinate,” whereupon he “hit his erect penis with his hand in order to alleviate this desire.” HI-YAH
Your cat is amazingly tolerant. Our cat is very territorial. If another cat so much as comes near the house she’ll throw a full-blown hissy fit.
Squirrels are also delicious!
And
penguinssquirrels is practically chickens!I have no problem with squirrels. I have noticed this year, there are a lot of depressed squirrels… suicidal squirrels, even. They keep jumping out in front of my scooter, which is not good news for either of us, really.
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I did take one out while I was riding a Yamaha Vino 50. Tiny bike, 10″ wheels. I stayed upright; the squirrel must have broken in two.
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“Hitting erect penis with hand in order to alleviate this desire” is the worst masturbation euphemism yet.
I’ve got no hatin’ for squirrels: I like critters.
Jennifer: Here’s a fun squirrel-watching game: Try to locate the ‘squirrel highways’. They like to travel in trees to avoid most predators, also using house roofs, electric wires and suchlike things…and only come to the ground to forage or out of curiosity. They like using the SAME ‘highways’ to transit in their squirrely ranges.
Also I rate for chipmunks. I like reading your descriptions of rodentia antics and behavior.
“Male spider ditches penis, gains fighting power.”
Sounds like most humans I’ve run across.
Their mother is not what can reasonably be called intelligent.
good thing your genes kicked in, then…
Your cat is amazingly tolerant. Our cat is very territorial. If another cat so much as comes near the house she’ll throw a full-blown hissy fit.
our dog is such a neurotic wuss that when she gets buzzed by a fly or butterfly, she freaks and races to her kennel…i can’t imagine what squirrel interaction would do to her…
Our (miniature) fox terrier was absolutely fearless when she was a puppy. Any living thing—dog, cat (except her cats), human, you name it—she would run up to and bark like crazy.
Then we had her fixed. That day she became the biggest fraidy-cat you ever saw—she’ll take a run at a squirrel, for example, but anything remotely her own size she’s scared to death of.
The moral is: When you hear women use “ovaries” as a synonym for “balls”, don’t scoff.
My cat is very territorial too – when it comes to other cats. She’s also very predatory when it comes to chipmunks, rats, mice, voles, and birds – even the occasional snake.
I think there’s a couple of things going on here: first, cats don’t generally kill squirrels. I’ve never had a cat that has killed one, and I’ve only had a couple that ever caught one (to the best of my knowledge) and both immediately decided that it had NOT been a good idea and let go of the squirrel. Squirrels are really scrappy – rats don’t have those kind of claws. I think most cats that have had a close squirrel encounter elect not to repeat the experience. Second, the cat has watched enough to know that I’ve semi-adopted the squirrels as outdoor guests if not as full-fledged pets with house privileges, so they are allowed on the porch and she really doesn’t pay much attention to them unless they get too close, in which case she menaces and that’s enough since squirrels are skittish, twitchy animals. She’s also made it clear to the tamest one, the young female, that she is NOT ALLOWED in the house. Said young squirrel has a couple of times come up and stuck her head inside the door when it was ajar and both times the cat made a lunge for her.
The cat mostly gets her passive-aggressive jollies from taking a dash around the back yard when all the squirrels are on the ground looking for food, to send them running up the trees. She’s not even trying to catch them – she’s just fucking with them. They sit up there and fuss at her for the next 15 or 20 minutes, which seems to satisfy her need to assert her authoritah.
Debbie Schlussel flips the fuck out again.
Then we had her fixed.
our girl is a lab springer mix and we’ve never had her fixed…we are still hoping to breed her with romeo who is the supermodel of male black labs…i’m not sure where her weirdness comes from…for example, i have seen her jump into the missouri river and cavort about, but two inches of water in the bathtub? freakout city…thunderstorms never used to bother her, but if she hears even the slightest rumble of thunder, she either clings to one of us or hides out in the bathroom…between the toilet and the wall…
i do have a theory…when she was younger we gave her one of those zuzu pets to play with…which she seemed to enjoy at first. she would snuggle with it in her bed and obediently go after it and pick it up when it whirred across the floor…then the battery died and didn’t get changed for a few days…then we reanimated the zuzu pet and i think we may have freaked her out with bringing her baby back to life…she is terrified of her zuzu pet now…
it’s a small comfort to know that i may have screwed up my dog’s psyche worse than my children’s…
she is terrified of her zuzu pet now…
What’s dog for “AIEEEE! Zombie!”
omg…if y’all need a laff, head on over to little debbie’s and read the comments…she is getting nailed! except for a couple of her followers they are all trashing her idiocy…seems the tweets she ranting about were from 2010 leading one commentor to call her ‘the kardashian of journalism’…but here’s my favorite mango from one of her defenders complete with an irony filled signature line:
truly…there are more good lulz there…
I e-mailed the local Politifact guy the following:
“In the linked-to story, Perry stated: “Three and a half years, and nearly 100 rounds of golf into his presidency, Barack Obama has exploded the federal debt, passed a failed, budget-busting stimulus package, socialized health care and provided guns to Mexican drug cartels.”
Of that, you “fact-checked” only the part about golf. So, according to Politifact, there is nothing else in that statement worth looking into. Amazing.”
He replied with:
“We should have been clear that we are not dismissing or confirming anything else in that statement. I thank you for noticing.”
I responded with:
“I suppose you expect a thank you for responding. However, you are insulting my intelligence by trying to make me believe that it was not a conscious decision to fact-check only the one aspect of Perry’s statement. You, very cleverly, imply that more fact-checking of the statement could be forthcoming without actually stating it, thereby leaving yourself an “out” if you don’t go further into it. I have noticed writers for Politifact often state that readers pique their curiosity about which statements to delve into. Consider this my effort to pique your curiosity. Now, if you don’t go further, I am sure(!) you will explain why not in a future column.”
He replied with:
“I expect nothing but close reading.”
Kinda reminded me of the opening to “The Outer Limits”: “…we will control all that you see and hear…”
Fucking genius, reposted at LGM: http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2012/06/they-make-their-entrance-one-by-one-defenders-of-that-way-of-life
more debbie thrashing:
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This is great:
This is very much like going to secret Christian rituals at church on Sunday and reporting that they said “Amen.”
going to secret Christian rituals at church on Sunday and…they said “Amen.”
The dastards!
It gets much, much worse than that. I know you won’t believe me, but they say this thing called “The Lord’s Prayer.” (They say “amen” at the end of that too, so that “amen” thing must be some sekrit code for revolution or some such thing.)
‘secret Christian rituals at church on Sunday and reporting that they said “Amen.” ‘
I guess it goes without saying that this “Jesus” fellow is likely a furriner.
Pollack trolls? What the hake! As Cod is my witness they’re just dragging the bottom for the halibut.
They’ve scrod the pooch.
Ya know, with the likes of Eric Cantor, Dennis Prager and Debbie Schlussel runnin’ loose in the land, the idea that Jews iz smart is takin’ a lickin’.
Nah, I’ve seen all the pictures, Jesus was a white man. He needs a haircut, though.
When our retrievers were having puppies, they’d regularly go through what we called “the fraidy cat phase” at around the earliest age at which you can desex a dog. They’d go from being fearless (and indeed completely, stupidly reckless) to quailing in moronic terror of us, shadows, the cat, their own reflection, random appliances, and one another.
Nah, I’ve seen all the pictures, Jesus was a white man. He needs a haircut, though.
Ted Nugent? That would explain a lot actually.
I love this meme. It’s such a reliable indicator species for knowingly false Likudnik lies-to-children.
I also love the classic Orthodox-wannabe tic “G-d”, especially on the Internet – because surely that’s a mitzvah, and associating with Internet nazis and just stuffing pork into your dumb mouth, eh, who can be bothered.
Stuffing the pork
“Ted Nugent? That would explain a lot actually.”
Jeffrey Hunter was the best blue-eyed, light-skinned, European-descended, safe-for-our-Honky-sensibilities, fake Jesus.
secret Christian rituals at church on Sunday and reporting that they said “Amen.”
of course this type of thing comes up in the comments:
and
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and just some more of the little debbie beat down:
and just one more…
reading these has truly made my day…
Jeffrey Hunter was the best blue-eyed, light-skinned, European-descended, safe-for-our-Honky-sensibilities, fake Jesus.
who was jesus in ‘the greatest story ever told’ which my mom made us watch every eastertime for years…i found him to be creepy…
okay…just one more…this one bears repeating because i think it’s one of the greatest ever:
He’s NOT BEING TERRORIST and extremist, he’s a kid from a boyband FFS!.
…okay, i’m done…
Ya know, with the likes of Eric Cantor, Dennis Prager and Debbie Schlussel runnin’ loose in the land, the idea that Jews iz smart is takin’ a lickin’.
It’s a shonda for the goyim, and I’m not even Jewish.
Oy vey!
Gotta love Debbie, shitting on a kid who’s apparently got millions of teenaged fans. She’ll have a hard time deleting all the comments she’ll get.
“who was jesus in ‘the greatest story ever told’ ”
That was the mighty Max von Sydow.
That was the mighty (and Nordic) Max von Sydow.
Doubling the von Sydow.
Wow, Mr Von Sydow has quite the dramatic range, he’s played Jesus and Ming the Merciless.
Jeffrey Hunter was the best blue-eyed, light-skinned, European-descended, safe-for-our-Honky-sensibilities,
fake JesusStarfleet Captain!Also, I have sort-of-catapulted more than a few grey squirrels with my trusty 12 gauge. Them’s tasty rodents, them is.
okay, last time for realz…this might be one of the greatest exchanges of all time:
Pup-is there a difference?
That was the mighty Max von Sydow.
that would explain the creepiness…
<blockquote.Wow, Mr Von Sydow has quite the dramatic range, he’s played Jesus and Ming the Merciless.
Didn’t he play the devil as well? Or some approximation of the devil?
http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0017771/bio
whoops!
Why yes.
Wow, Mr Von Sydow has quite the dramatic range, he’s played Jesus and Ming the Merciless.
“CHRIST! Whoa-ohhhh! Defender of the universe!”
okay, last time for realz…this might be one of the greatest exchanges of all time:
The Polish guy has just as good a command of English as Debbie’s defender.
Via LGM a well-played funny:
http://www.tinyrevolution.com/mt/archives/003626.html
Damn, David Brooks is such a brown-noser.
Why yes.
one of my all time favorite movies…i can still crack hubbkf with a well timed, ‘two bowls of split plea soup to go, eh?’
There are a bunch of the Western Gray fluffy tailed squirrels around campus. They must reproduce pretty quickly because I’m always surprised at how many still survive with the numbers of them that are squashed in the streets. They’re pretty cute and seem relatively harmless.
My mother-in-law had(has?) an infestation of California ground squirrels that did some crazy damage around her yard, outbuildings, and foundation. They also got into her walls and attic. Annoying little things, a catapult would be too nice to them.
From inside the house, my cat keeps the squirrels in their place.
It’s a fap!