Tee hee.
Posted on August 29th, 2006 by Gavin M.
Christian Newswire
The nation’s leading distributor of religious press releases
Dear [Sadly, No!],
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You will begin receiving press releases from our
service immediately.
Oh, this will be good for business.
Great! Now you’ll get a heads-up just before the Rapture!
not the sharpest tools in the shed, are they?
tools nontheless.
How long before you figure they notice and remove you from the list?
it took a while for the American Family Association to remove me. I would rewrite their petitions and forward them.
1. Put fish in barrel.
2. Load shotgun.
3. . . .
I’m still silly over Marie Jon, god she is hot, I would so grease her up with the finest bacon, bend her over the kitchen table and do her conservative style.
Those guys have no clue what they’ve done. I can’t wait for the show.
And so it begins.
[…] The fireworks are about to begin. […]
Dunno, guys.
First it was the Townhall page, and now the Christian Newswire…
I suspect that MJ’ has you all befuddled.
She could throw us all for a loop, and show up on Stormfront AND Greenpeace.
I’d rather see her on Modesto gone wild!!!
Actually that e-mail seems to me to be worded rather ominously…
How long before you figure they notice and remove you from the list?
Well, considering that The Rude Pundit is still on Tony Perkins prayer team, probably could be awhile.
DexX said:
1. Put fish in barrel.
2. Load shotgun.
3. . . .
4. PROFIT
Hey, if they didn’t want us Heathens on the list, they wouldn’t make it so easy to get on. You’d have to give the secret handshake, or Rapture password, or something. This way they get to run up those PR subscription numbers!
I’m giving you this link as a gift.
On fire in Modesto and running wild! Hours of hilarity on video
Your friend,
MJ
http://www.amazingfacts.org/media/everlasting_gospel.asp
Thanks MJ’. One question. Who’s the dead guy in the picture? And why do they want to use Zombie Preachers ™? Oh, and are the undead in Amazing Facts World the really fast ones or the old plodding ones? I’m amazed by the facts….
mikey
thanks! awwww.. i figured that was gonna be Wild! darn.
Well, considering that The Rude Pundit is still on Tony Perkins prayer team, probably could be awhile.
Is this true? If so, it’s one of the most delightful things I’ve heard today. The only thing more delightful would be if other members of the prayer team started linking to TRP. Something outstanding like that would really be a worthwhile reward after a hard day of electioneering.
” In Answer to Mr. Mike ”
Thanks MJ’. One question. Who’s the dead guy in the picture? And why do they want to use Zombie Preachers ™? Oh, and are the undead in Amazing Facts World the really fast ones or the old plodding ones? I’m amazed by the facts….
mikey
Reply: Pastor Doug is beautiful inside. He certainly is not unattractive. In his early youth he was fabulous looking. Losing one’s hair is a reality for many men. Are you always going to be young?
If you are going to look at a Christian Newsletter, might as well look at young and older people in the church videoed in these many clips.
Mingled in the crowd are people of all ages as well as ethnicity. Some came from other faiths into Christianity.
MJ
The Doug Batchelor Story
As the teenage son of a “millionaire father” and a “show business mother,” Doug Batchelor had everything money could buy-everything but happiness. He used drugs, fought at school and entertained suicidal fantasies. Disgusted with himself and convinced that life held no purpose, Doug was determined to grab all the fun and excitement he could find!
Before his search ended, a cave in the hills above Palm Springs became his home. And although his father owned a yacht, a Learjet and an airline, Doug would eventually scavenge for food in garbage bins. The happiness Doug wanted eluded him until the day he began reading the dust-covered Bible a fellow “searcher” had left in his cave. What happened next can only be described as a miracle!
His down-to-earth approach to living the Christian life stems from his own experiences. Pastor Doug is now President and Speaker for Amazing Facts Ministries, an international Christian ministry who operates a Bible correspondence school, has a team of speakers who travel the world, has weekly television and radio programs, and provides resource books, video and audio tapes on all Bible subjects.
He can be seen weekly on national cable networks and over 125 radio stations across the US and on satellite radio around the world.
He is an energetic young man of vision and deep spirituality with an unusual ability to communicate not only to church oriented people, but also to the millions of unchurched people of today.
He is the author of four books: The Richest Caveman-The Doug Batchelor Story; To See the King; How to Survive and Thrive in Church; and At Jesus’ Feet-The Gospel According to Mary Magdalene.
His wife, Karen and five children support him in his ministry. His hobbies include kayaking, racquetball and flying.
Why the son of a millionaire was living in a cave?
View it on-line at this link http://www.amazingfacts.org/about_us/pastor_doug.asp
Sorry, MJ’, and I’m honestly not here to pick a fight. But I didn’t say he’s ugly, I said he looks like a dead guy. I like to make fun of stuff, y’know? And just for the record, I’ve got a few years on “Pastor Doug”. But see, I’m an atheist. I don’t believe in unicorns or faeries or elves or gods or godlets or angels or jesus. To me, if you are a literate grownup, you probably shouldn’t believe in myths and just-so stories.
Religious people crack me up. Each and every one of you is SO certain that their faerie story is the truth, and all the other religious people are wrong. And none of you, apparently, can see how truly silly this is. The three main western religions, judaism, christianity and islam, all you’re all doing is arguing the status of ONE GUY who (might have) lived two thousand years ago. Was he or wasn’t he? Only his daddy knows for sure. And none of you can present ANY evidence. Don’t throw “the book” at me, either. You don’t have any better idea who wrote the thang than I do. And some kind of omnipotent everywhere supreme being ought to be able to write better than that. What’s worse, to me, is you all seem to want to use this silly “divine word” as a tool to hate, discriminate, devalue and demonize people you don’t like or who are not like you.
What if you’re wrong, Marie? What if you get there and it IS Mohammed? What then, little lady? Me? I’ll take my chances with logic, reason and the rule of (natural) law. If god is such a petty spoiled child omnipotent supreme being that he insists I believe in him but he can’t be bothered to drop by and introduce himself to me he’s not worthy of my “worship”, that’s for certain. So please – continue to write your fascinating “think pieces” Marie, I will always enjoy reading your work, but understand – I have very little patience with religious dogma….
mikey
Actually, my religion says everybody else is probably about as close to right-ish as I am. But that’s because, A) I am not a one-godder, and B) we believe that religion is an answer–not the only answer, just an answer–to the big questions like “Why am I here?” and “What am I supposed to be doing?” and “What next?” and those questions have as many answers as there are people.
And if Doug is a beautiful person inside, he’s not doing a very good job of showing it. In fact, he’s a smug, self-centered, self-righteous, bigoted adolescent. Beautiful people inside do not shoot penned animals. Beautiful people inside do not engage in rampant misogyny or homophobia. Beautiful people inside do not say “You should be exactly like me”. And I’m actually gonna guess that they don’t hang out with other smug, self-centered, self-righteous, bigoted adolescents like, say, Dr Mike Adams, PhD.
Mikey’s pretty damned amazing inside, from what I’ve seen. He’s a generous, thoughtful guy with a great deal to say. He’s someone who has done good, and doesn’t rest on it. His decent nature guides those around him in gentle ways, by getting them to think, rather than telling people they’re poodles if their church has lots of women hanging around the rectory. Even if I don’t agree with what Mikey’s said, it’s hard not to think hard about it and find yourself seeing his point of view. That’s what someone who is beautiful inside looks like.
He gives a damn about people, even ones he doesn’t know personally. And he can help open the people around him to that caring, too, even for people who are widely reviled by society. He doesn’t seem to handle intolerance well. But most of us liberals don’t, you may have noticed.
“He used drugs, fought at school and entertained suicidal fantasies. Disgusted with himself and convinced that life held no purpose, Doug was determined to grab all the fun and excitement he could find!”
Of the three, suicide is clearly more fun and exciting than either drugs or fighting.
I mean, if all your friends were jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge……
My religeon says that asking “Why are we here” IS the whole point.
So stay curious and open minded, because as much as you learn, you just keep asking, don’t you??
To Mike:
Pastor Doug was all that and a bag of chips. He also was an “atheist.” View it on-line at this link http://www.amazingfacts.org/about_us/pastor_doug.asp
You have not one thing to lose. Good night Mike. I’m praying for you.
MJ
You guys. Did you see that? I had an interaction with Marie Jon’, I was honored with incredibly kind words I hope someday to deserve from the even hotter D. Sidhe. I don’t have a clue what to do next. You guys should send me money or something. I mean, this isn’t even my blog!!
mikey
To those who will hear. A Bible radio station. Put all misconceptions away. You list of arguments against Christian faith is faulty.
Blessings
MJ
Find Answers to your Bible and life Questions!
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You can also listen to one of the past Bible Answers Live programs which are located in our archive.
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Current Selection: All Topics “Classic Radio Sermons”.
Joe Crews, was the Speaker/Director of Amazing Facts for nearly 30 years. His dynamic personality was often referred to as “the Paul Harvey of Christian broadcasting”, and His powerful, straightforward messages have left his legacy deep in the hearts of millions.
Until His death God used pastor Crews in a mighty way as a humble servant who experienced great joy in winning souls for the kingdom.
We are proud to make available to you these “Classic Radio Sermons”. It is our prayer that they will inspire you and challenge your Christian experience.
http://www.amazingfacts.org/items/free_library.asp?SelSec=Classicen
Pastor Doug’s Sermons
http://www.amazingfacts.org/media/radio/program_archive.asp
Good Night
Marie Jon’
http://www.DrawingClose.org/
You may write to me if you have a Bible questions. Please be patient. It might take a few days to get back with you.
GodsAngelSeven@aol.com
“Correction On E-Mail Address”
You may write to me if you have a Bible questions. Please be patient. It might take a few days to get back with you.
GodsAngelSeven7@aol.com
http://www.DrawingClose.org/
Yeah, mikey, but it’s more like she just dumped a bunch of Chick Tracts on you and walked away. I like to hope for more from an interaction. I’m not, btw, especially hot, but I’m definitely crazy, which I hear is one of those things men will go for. I dunno why, because it seems to scare most women off. On the other hand, I don’t sleep with knives anymore, I don’t cry after sex, and I will never make my partner go to church and confess what we’ve done, after. You take what you can get, I guess.
And, Marie, honey, how are we supposed to remember you when you won’t let us forget?
See, this right here is just about the only thing Christianity does that I truly find loathesome: the constant proselytizing.
It is all but impossible, if you live in the United States in anything other than a yurt with no electricity, to have avoided having heard of the religion of Christ. We’ve all heard about it; it’s just that a percentage of us choose to not follow your wacky beliefs.
It’s not personal. We all have our own reasons – some of us practice other religions, some of us think religion in general is stupid, some of us just can’t be arsed to care one way or the other.
And yet, a significant subset of the Christian population feels it is their duty to go around doing everything in their power to “make sure” we’ve all heard about Jesus – and then also goes on to try to make our nice, secular government over into their vision of a religious state.
These two things seem pretty closely related to me….large numbers of the God-botherers also seem to be the ones trying to make sure that none of us have sex or educate our young in ways that are contrary to what a bunch of tribal sheephearders thought was best about six thousand years ago (exception for Jehovah’s Witnesses duly noted).
What is it going to take to make these annoying pains in the ass go away? They’re ruining this damn country and pissing off all its sane inhabitants in the process.
It’s not even necessary for the practice of their religion. I know I’ve said it here before, and I’ll say it again – I am quite certain the Amish agree substantially with the Christian doctrine Pat Robertson preaches, especially concerning nonmarital sex, homosexuality, and abortion…but you never hear anybody badmouthing the Amish.
That’s because the Amish leave the rest of us the hell alone.
P.S.: Mikey, you rock. I always love reading what you have to say.
But Jillian! If you just allow M’Jon’ to explain, I’m sure that this time it’ll transform you completely.
Hey, pm, you sound like a really bright woman.
I have an opportunity for you to get in on the ground level of a business opportunity that could free you up to live the kind of life you’ve only dreamed of until now.
Are you interested? 😉
(translation for the sarcasm-impaired: yes, I am saying that proselytizing Christianity reminds me of a pyramid scheme.)
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I think MJ has been turned into a Stepford Christian by doug Batchelor.
Dang. At least the Stepford Wives were designed for sex.
Hey this is the time for all who claim that Jesus is the one they are following to stand up and be counted. I read some of the comment posted, and boy are some of you guys way off.But thank God for Jesus there is still hope…..think about it