Granted I have heard the song in about 20 years, but I seem to remember it as being one of those masturbation songs.

Let’s play that hot new game, The Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon Jack Kevorkian!

I was wondering when the wingnuts were going to condemn The Knack due to Doug Feiger’s brother Geoff being a — get ready for this — TRIAL LAWYER!!!!

When I last checked, corporate defence counsel were “trial lawyers”, too.

What will the wingnuts say when they hear the album version of “Good Girls Don’t”?

…but the little girls understand. And K-Lo’s a big girl.

In my mind, K-Lo’s choice of creepy lyrics make the song more “conservative.”

Why just this morning I heard a slew of songs on the radio full of conservative thought. Let’s see, I remember hearing the words “baby”, “power”, “money”, and “crazy”. All from different songs. Man, those conservatives are taking over!

Wait a minute. My Sharonna’s a”conservative song?” Why? because Dubya has it on his Ipod?

This has gotta be the simplest shit I’ve ever heard.

Lileks is more banal than a matchbook collection.

Oh, wait…

Before anyone starts claiming “My Sharona� as a Great Conservative Song, keep in mind the creepy lyrics (the line about “the younger kind� no doubt had John Mark Karr nodding his head in approval) and the band’s connection to assisted suicide.

I’m not so sure the creepy lyrics don’t in fact confirm that the song is “conservative.”

The Knack sucked, too, so no wonder conservatives gravitate to them.

Well, it’s a tenuous link, I admit. But the brother of the Knack’s lead singer was Kevorkian’s lawyer. Small world.

Yes, where “tenuous” means “meaningless.” I mean, WTF? Is this supposed to suggest “blood guilt”? Guilt by association? Lileks, smart and funny in a few minor areas, is such a complete tool in others.

Good lord. Why would anyone any younger than Lileks care about The Knack? Are they going to get worked up over The Fixx, Night Ranger, Mike and the Mechanics, and REO Speedwagon next?

Perhaps an argument could be made for The Flamin’ Groovies’ ‘Teenage Head’ as a great conservative song, since it does seem to have been written for George Felix Allen: ” ‘Teenage monster / California born and bred. / Half a boy and half a man / I’m half at sea and half on land.”

They also missed the Knack’s single “The Monkey and Me” and its implicit racial overtones.

I wonder why they haven’t taken to touting Murphy’s Law as the conservative band for cool kids. (“Ronnie Reagan, he’s my man, if he can’t do it, nobody can!!! America rules!!1!!”)

First: Who considered My Sherona was conservative? In what possible way?

I like the chorus from this Knack song better anyway:

Good girls don’t/ good girls don’t
but she’ll be telling you/good girls don’t/but I do.

It’s a teenage sadness everyone’s got to taste
An inbetween age madness that you know you can’t erase
Until she’s sitting on your face.

Helter Stupid keeps rearing its ugly head.

Did I miss something somewhere? Are they still going on about that Conservative Songs nonsense, or was the earlier announcement that The Knack’s drummer had died (nothing gets by the Corner gang!) the spur to Lileks to write K-Lo, lest “My Sharona” be canonized? And K-Lo to publish it?

This is the editor of The National Review Online and a guy who Has a Following among connoisseurs of wingnut babble, when he’s not hysterically skewering the bad taste of people living half a century ago. And each seems to believe that “Conservative” is the opposite of “Cooties”.

Nothing from The Knack can be called conservative.

That is because The Knack kick ass, while conservatives just show ass.

Goin’ to the market now, market now
I’m the city’s big bologna buyer
Walkin’ down the shopping aisle, shopping aisle
Filling up my basket with Oscar Meyer

Never gonna stop, eat it up
Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up
But I’ll soon be back for more of my, my, my, yi, yi, woo

/Wierd Al

But what does Judie Brown think of Good Girls Don’t?

Does K-Lo have an opinion.

eccch.

Lileks.

Ewww. If he had boobs, he could wear a wig and do a Pam impression.

ranting about ugly food and hiding under his bed from the brown horde in Minnesota.

Tag, all y’all’re it.

He also says to “go back to Megadeath,” which makes you wonder if he’s ever seen one of their albums.

Damn.

I tried.

The Knack? Please. “Is my cock big enough/Is my brain small enough/For you/To Make Me/a Star…My Payola!”

Of course, since the top Conservative songs includes the daughter who kills her father because he kept raping her and “nobody believes me/The man is such a sleaze He/ain’t never gonna be the same.” Family Values Rock!

I kinda like this guilt-by-familial-association meme.

George W. Bush’s grandfather did business with the nazis. Ergo, Bush is a nazi!

I still can’t believe that list of 50 songs didn’t have one single Hall & Oates hit on it…

Say it isn’t so!

I can’t go for that.

you want a conservative song, check out the party party’s mashup of bush’s words mixed together to create him singing “imagine” with a little bit of “walk on the wild side” thrown in.

now with video!

.

.

Good lord. Why would anyone any younger than Lileks care about The Knack? Are they going to get worked up over The Fixx, Night Ranger, Mike and the Mechanics, and REO Speedwagon next?

*Ahem* Ummm, along with The Knack, this is part of my iPod menu…

mikey

Ummm, along with The Knack, this is part of my iPod menu

Oh, uh, hm. It is compensation if I say that my current favorite karaoke number is Journey’s ‘Separate Ways’?

Which you can’t do any worse than the original?

“One Thing/Leads to Another”—Iraq:Iran

“I just wish I could have told him/in The Living Years”—things 2,069 and counting U.S. soldiers would like to say to W.

Night Ranger and the Dumptruck I can’t even talk about.

Sorry, that should have been 2,609 and counting.

Ever since reading this post, I can’t get one song that I in no way liked but absolutely unfounded convictions that it’s a “conservative” anthem out of my mind — Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire”. I remember seeing the video (let me reiterate: I don’t like Billy Joel one bit) and being disturbed that he’d list all these bad things, then say well, I didn’t do it, so what can I do?

Skippy: that mashup has now been used in BBC2’s new comedy series, Time Trumpet, which had me rolling off the couch.

I’m probably the only person outside of the band (or perhaps their mothers) who happens to own FOUR Knack CDs…if they’re conservative, then I’m Glenn “Motherfuckin’ A Robot Special” Reynolds.