Totally.

This is totally not first.

No intention of being first; just wandered over and found a thread not even warm yet.
Never going to get out of the boat.

No mangoes for me. They don’t go great with hoppy IPA post-5k. I got 2nd, ’cause us liberals just aren’t winners. Now it’s back downtown, after a shower, for the semi-annual wine stumble. All signs point to a good day.

Thanks for the shiny fresh non-shopworn thread, Cerberus.

Republican leaders flounder around in self-conscious ambivalence like a bunch of virgins on prom night

Oh, I so don’t want to go there.

I, for one, am like totes not mad with you. Long, meandering threads while awaiting a new post are a tradition long beloved of Sadlynaughts.
You are like totes forgiven. Meh – Life happens while you are planning other things.

Hot diggity!

Well, I said it.
.

Present for OBS!

Did I pimp my ideas for Freewayblogger’s contest? Gosh, I hope I win!
.

From demanding that Catholics pay for abortion services to offering our most critical military secrets to our enemies, his goal is not merely to destroy this country, but to disable our resistance with an overwhelming string of demoralizing offensives.

OK: blatant lie, WTF lie, holy fuck you’re nuts lie, and gibberish so stupid only your readers could believe it. Poor Maryland.

Dan has gotten national exposure through countless appearances on Fox News, NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, MSNBC, and many others. He has also racked up an impressive array of endorsements. The best thing, however, is his optimism. He says, “I don’t think we can win in Maryland, I know we can win in Maryland… Folks, this isn’t Mao’s China.”

What else is this isn’t?

Do I really want to know what universe they are living in?

Uh, thanks, I think, Smut.

If he destroys our country, why will he need to disable our resistance? Doesn’t a destroyed country have pretty low resistance already?

This post goes great with a Steel Reserve. Goes better with four of them, actually.

Hey, I read this (AND THE COMMENTS) here today. You couldn’t pay me to click on this.

Breaking my self-imposed exile for this post. (I’ll be back out of lurkerhood on Wednesday when my penance is done.)

I got off the boat. Yes, Fenwick who NEVER EVER gets off the boat did so this time because, well, it’s Maryland and I’ve lived here for 20+ years.

My comment, as a Shorter*:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!

I hope acrannymint–the other main Sadly from Maryland–drops by to pour more detailed scorn on Simpson’s delusions about the landscape of Maryland politics. (DC-area Sadlies also, as we’re all in one mega-metro area.)

* Cerb: I enjoy yer Shorters! As a top-notch writer, you know how to write funny political haiku that truly capture the essence of The Madness. I’m glad you’ve added them to your repertoire! (Also I’m doing my self-imposted penance out of remorse, as you must know.)

vs: OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD.

Has this guy EVER been in a relationship with a woman? I mean, besides slipping a dollar bill into her g-string?

Bitter Scribe: that relationship is sacred because it’s based on true capitalistic values.

If he destroys our country, why will he need to disable our resistance?

Resistance is futile etc. etc.

What else is this isn’t?

It’s not Hitler’s Germany
It’s not Stalin’s Russia
It’s not Ceaucescu’s Romania
It’s not Thatcher’s UK
It’s not Diaz’s Mexico
It’s not Napoleon’s France
It’s not Caesar’s Rome
It’s not Hannibal’s Carthage
It’s not Pharaoh’s Egypt

If he destroys our country, why will he need to disable our resistance?

I wondered about that, and also about the implication that they’d require something more than mere country destruction to be demoralized. Why, it’s almost like even they can’t take their own bullshit seriously.

Folks, this isn’t Mao’s China.”

Not yet, at least.

GOP= God-botherers, One-percenters & Paranoids.

Hard to believe you could leave out:

Enver Hoxha- Albania

and, my favorite,

Saparmurat Niyazov; Turkmenistan

Note to self: stop posting about Turkmenbashi, his agents will find you

It’s not a game of monopoly!

It’s a game of Risk!

A flick of the risk?

It’s a game of Risk!

“A game of world conquest, being played by two guys who can barely manage their own lives.”
–Jerry Seinfeld

No, he was not describing the GOP presidential primaries. For one thing, there are four guys.

Tracy Flick would RULE at Risk, to combine several recent memes.

vs: OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD.

Has this guy EVER been in a relationship with a woman? I mean, besides slipping a dollar bill into her g-string?

I think like most men who write about relationships on the internet, he got all his information about women from sitcoms and romantic comedies…which, as I have said many times before, are neither funny nor romantic.

Well my information on women came from an expert, M. LePew.

he got all his information about women from sitcoms and romantic comedies…which, as I have said many times before, are neither funny nor romantic.

The French are funny.
Sex is funny.
Comedy is funny.
Yet no French sex comedy is funny.
Discuss.

(per Matt Groening)

Yet no French sex comedy is funny.

Too bad La Cage aux Folles isn’t French.

Too bad La Cage aux Folles isn’t French funny.

FTFY

Too bad La Cage aux Folles isn’t French.

They also have no word for “entrepreneur,” I hear. Stoopit commies.
.

Yet no French sex comedy is funny.

This one was pretty funny:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113149/

What was the one with the knife-throwing? It was pretty funny.

La Fille Sur Le Pont. I liked it, anyhoo.

I enjoyed Love and Other Disasters, but YMMV.

La jetée is funny if you are wasted while watching.

Has this guy EVER been in a relationship with a woman? I mean, besides slipping a dollar bill into her g-string?

There’s more to it than that?

Wild Target was sweet and fun. For a value of sweet that includes several deaths and an ear being shot off.

I think Inspector Clouseau is funny….What?

I think Inspector Clouseau is funny….What?

And the French think Jerry Lewis is funny.

Couldn’t possibly have anything to do with foreigners making asses of themselves, could it?

thank god, I don’t think I I could have stood to see that harpy’s mug standing at the top one more day. This may be a post put up to kind of just get us all off that boat, but I appreciate it, you know I do.

Love

Stay classy, GOP!
.

Dan is a former Secret Service agent who had nothing to gain and everything to lose by leaving his secure and promising job with the Service, where he was a rising star.  In his own words, he left because saw what was happening in our great country and could not stand by and do nothing.  Those of us who are in this fight …

I think I saw that movie. Had Jack D. Ripper in it.

Also, if this isn’t Mao’s China, WHOSE CHINA IS IT?!?!

My family has Corningware, not china.

What was the one with the knife-throwing? It was pretty funny.
Here I was, thinking “Delicatessen”. Evidently knife-throwing is ubiquitous in French comedy.

Has this guy EVER been in a relationship with a woman? I mean, besides slipping a dollar bill rohypnol into her g-string drink?

FTFY.

Ive been on the Mason Dixon wine trail today so being partially lit, I don’t know if I want to get of the boat. My rep is Elijah Cummings, who in spite of his delivering a speech at Morgan State grad ceremony tjhat used the term “On the bus” way too often, I really like. I also really like Babara Mikulski who lives in the same row house she grew up in. I remember watching a debate between her and Allen West in the 80’s where he as doing all these personal attacks and she just kept it about the issues. I also remember her at Reagan’s funeral when she was about the same height as a guy in a wheelchair.

Yet no French sex comedy is funny.
The French have never understood the concept of “bedroom farce”.

Evidently knife-throwing is ubiquitous in French comedy.
…”as in life”, I was going to add.

Holly shit – the wine tour hit more than I knew – it was Alan Keyes

Holly shit – the wine tour hit more than I knew – it was Alan Keyes

The poor man’s Herman Cain.

Dan is a former Secret Service agent who had nothing to gain and everything to lose by leaving his secure and promising job with the Service

Nothing to gain? He’s running for the freaking Senate.

I couldn’t get past the second sentence:

It is part of their game plan and a partial explanation for why President Obama has been throwing so many awful, intolerable new offensives our way.

You mean like restricting access to birth control? Or forcibly performing trans-vag ultrasounds on pregnant ladies? Stripping public employee labor unions of their collective bargaining rights?

OH WAIT.

It was the forcing priests to have gaybortions. I KNEW we shouldn’t have insisted on that.

Now I’ve got the mental image of teh Pope on an examining table with his feet in stirrups.

Thanks a lot, tigris.

Now I’ve got the mental image of teh Pope on an examining table with his feet in stirrups.

Ask and you shall be given.

Well, I hope you morons are out getting drunk, or something. Hrmph.
.

Jeez Louise, what a mook.

First sentence: “The left wants you to despair.”

End of third paragraph “… there is much to despair about.”

PWEEEEEET! Two minutes for unsportsmanlike dramawhoring, & a ten-minute misconduct for being so goddamn idiotic!

What I’m seeing the GOP actually be is bipolar, bouincing between gloom & “Happy Warrior” overconfidence/fatalism like meat-based ping-pong balls. Were I a left-wing Yankee this is pretty much exactly what I’d prefer them to be doing … & that they believe that they’re outfoxing the nefarious O-Bot hordes with this freakshow just makes it that much more schadenfreudelicious.

Giving women a free unrequested Cleveland Steamer day after day, telling the poors that their misery is their own fault, cheering for death, booing combat vets – no doubt about it, Republicans are indeed facing a deadly nemesis, & it ain’t the guy in the White House. It’s their own collective id going Full Arsehole.

They fail to get that most American’s give not one tiny little fuck about politics, but they have TeeVees, & when they keep saying the same gang of nutjobs saying & doing ugly insane fucked-up shit, eventually they hit a clue-acquisition Event Horizon when they make a mental note to deny them yet another shot at buggering everything up like they did last time … & the time before that … & the time before THAT … despair? Here’s a good reason for it: I keep seeing people who have always voted GOP saying, “Y’know, I don’t even LIKE Obama (& I voted for McCain in 2008) but he’s who I’m supporting this time – & I’ll be damned if these ratfucking scum are ever going to get my vote again.”

PROTIP: Do not set yourself up to be a lone voice in the wilderness until or unless you have become proficient in Conversational Squirrel … because nobody is going to hear you way out there.

Um, happy St. Party’s Day?

All you need to do to give encouragement to wingnuts and lift them out of despair is to list a bunch of rightwing whackaloons, partisan hacks and sacrificial lambs running for various public offices?

First!

I’ve fallen for it again. There seem to be signs of peak wingnut all around us, like the budsome boughs of spring and whatnot betoken the soon bloom of summer, but it will not be.

Pieces such as the mango-stained felchette linked here would seem to be harbingers of a mass head asplosion. Heck, whatsisname died. That ought to mean something. Instead, we’re just at the high part of that cosmic sine wave that represents fascists trying to work up the spit to actually stage a Kristallnacht of their own, losing courage, and settling once again into a Cheeto-induced trough that an ocean of box wine, Mountain Dew, and instant coffee from the survival bunker cannot divert upwards.

Still, what assholes.

the mango-stained felchette linked here

I like “felchette”. Gonna assume that it is like a flechette, though not fired from a shotgun but from some other opening.

BREAKING NEWS
AROO AROO AROO AROO
MUST CREDIT FREE REPUBLIC!

Game over, man.
http://africanpress.me/2012/03/09/president-obama-will-be-forced-by-circumstances-to-apologise-genuine-birth-certificate-surfaces-americans-have-been-led-to-believe-otherwise-revelation-to-change-the-political-landscape/

Oooh that is top notch reportage at API. IT DOES NOT SOUND DODGY AT ALL!
The commentariat is right on the ball too. This means Preznident Mittens. Hurray for standardised tree heights!

New post?

What new madness is this?!?

Happy St Patty’s day.