Two-Second Townhall

Shorter Kathleen Parker: If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s not a duck. It’s just not.

Gavin adds:

Above: Parker at the Strom Thurmond Institute, 10/24/05.


Comments: 20


Ooh, so sad to see this isn’t up on the new and improved blog yet.

Don’t tease us so…’s not fair!


And those Confederate flags Allen had in his home? Obviously a liberal media Jedi mind trick.


“Why would he do that, period? It doesn’t make any sense. The camera was on him. This wasn’t a case where a politician thinks no one is watching. He knew that was going out. Why would he endanger his entire trip by making a comment that would come back to haunt him?”

I live in Virginia. Trust me, it’s not complicated to those who have paid attention all these years. He’s just one dumb motherfucker. Besides, he was probably playing to his audience in that region.

A friend of mine who is a former journalist interviewed him before, and she confirms that he’s crass, rude and stupid as hell in person. Why would he act that way to someone who can report on it? He’s just one dumb motherfucker. Ockham’s Razor and all that.


What I want to know is this: Allen welcomed the guy to the U.S. (before he welcomed him to Virginia) – and from what I’ve heard, the guy is a U.S. citizen. WTF?


Ha ha. K-Pa is a dot-buster.

And her second paragraph employs Sturm und Drang.



What I want to know is this: Allen welcomed the guy to the U.S. (before he welcomed him to Virginia) – and from what I’ve heard, the guy is a U.S. citizen. WTF?

Isn’t it obvious? Again, a way of playing to the SW Va. audience – saying “let’s welcome [the shithead monkey] to the U.S.”, or, as everyone would have understood to be implied, “You don’t look like us, BOY. Best gitcher brown ass back ta where ya come from.”


“Another version holds that macaca is a combination of the “mo” in “mohawk” and “caca,” Spanish for what often follows the English word “bull” when one is unconvinced of another’s sincerity or truthfulness.”

Does this sentence make sense to anyone but Kathleen?

Mohawk caca? Why the hell would dumb ass Allen make up a bizarro conjunction like that?

And Kathleen Parker’s crazy ass columns are in my local paper every week!


Isn’t it obvious?

I had thought that is wasn’t possible for Allen to be dumb enough to think the guy couldn’t have been born here, but I’d better rethink that …


You guys should apologize to Marie Jon for making fun of her punctuation, because I keep looking at that picture of her and I think that I’m in love for the first time in my life. I will fight you to defend her honor.


So, he’s either a) a racist, b) a bully, c) an idiot, or d)a racist idiot bully. I gotta go with d here. And here I’ve thought we were screwed for the last five years with just an idiot bully. Apparently it could be worse.


This is part of a conservative argumentation tactic which is much like the Black Knight’s in the Holy Grail Movie: When you have been beaten completly, when ALL reasonable facts are against you, when NO evidence points your way then you can offer a draw.

We saw it in the 1960s with the tobacco debate: the cig. companies wanted to argue that “we just don’t know.” A similar tactic is now in play for evolution in the schools and the global warming evidence: ALL the evidence points against the conservative’s position, so they want to argue that “we just don’t know” about the theory of evolution or global warming.

Kathleen is doing the same thing here: All of the background of the racial slur and how it is a clear sign of Allen’s familiarity with white supremacist discourse is ignored, a few alternative explanations are floated so she can throw up her hands and declare the question undecidable so lets all just move along, nothing to see here, return to your lives citizens.

Where as reasonable observers go with mrgumby2u’s “racist idiot bully” explanation.


Doubtless no one present knew what “macaca” meant…

…except the white supremacists present. Aren’t racial code words fun?


Wow, that really is pretty much what she said.

Frankly, I no longer feel that the GOP has the intellectual authority to play the “Your Honor, my client just ain’t that dumb” card. Because, let’s face it, they often are.


Allen’s campaign manager, Dick Wadhams, told me that Allen didn’t know the meaning of macaca

That’s the defense, kiddies. “He’s not a racist, he’s just as dumb as the leader of his party.”

I feel so much better now.


Kathleen Parker just never disappoints, does she? The Clownhall boys trot her out to type the really cretinous stuff even THEY don’t want to be seen pushing.

Notorious P.A.T.

Allen’s campaign manager, Dick Wadhams, told me that Allen didn’t know the meaning of macaca and credibly argued that no politician — especially one with presidential aspirations — would use a racial slur in such a public way.

Of course he wouldn’t! Just like no politician with presidential aspirations who owned a boat named “Monkey Business” and was having an affair would challenge the press to follow him and see if he was having an affair or not.


My parents hated me — I wanted to be Percival, but nooo…

The Dark Avenger

What was telling that she omitted the fact that Allen used to keep a hangmans’ noose in his office, which would discredit her thesis that Allen was just ‘celebrating’ his Southern heritage with all the Confederate flags in his office, on his bumper sticker, etc.

I liked her better when she was worrying over how to deal with a guy giving her unwanted attention when she was at a bar in one of her columns 15 years ago.


Some people in SW VA use derogatory words–despite the fact that they can’t quite define them or explain their derivation–precisely because the words are derogatory. Then you have the people like Allen who use them so they can pass as “good ol’ boys.” It would serve the s.o.b. right if every Indian-American who was a registered Republican sent Sen. Allen a white sheet.

I’m just curious how drunk one has to be to believe that “mohawk” sounds like “Macaca.”


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