Maybe We Should Create B.B. and A.B. As A New Dating Era
Shorter Elizabeth Lauren, The American Genius;
AD 2012 or 2012 CE?
- Forcing everyone to use C.E. instead of A.D. is just another way that Jews oppress Christians.
Blank Line
Alternate Shorter Elizabeth Lauren, The American Genius;
AD 2012 or 2012 CE?
- True inclusiveness would be if the Jews adopted and embraced Christianity rather than making Christians feel bad with all their complaining about Christ.
Blank Line
Another Alternate Shorter Elizabeth Lauren, The American Genius;
AD 2012 or 2012 CE?
- It wasn’t enough for the Jews to have crucified Christ the first time; they have to keep doing it over and over again.
Today’s wingnut butthurt is an old perennial and comes from someone calling herself Elizabeth Lauren over at The American Genius. This is Ms. Lauren’s second post ever, the first being one where she waxes nostalgic for the good old days of censorship which would have forbidden any poet from publishing a poem referring to genitalia. Today she’s climbed up on the cross and nailed herself to it over the usage of C.E. and B.C.E. in place of A.D. and B.C. Her argument seems mostly to be that it’s something the Jews baked up and this:
For a number of reasons, though, not only does the new dating standard fail in its desired effect, but it may ultimately cause unintended confusion and polarization, not to mention offense to the Christian majority.
Apparently people are missing tests and appointments and saying “Oh, you meant January 7, 2012 A.D.? You should have said so.” I’m already planning to try that. Of course, I may not respond in the same way when a restaurant tells me that actually my reservation was made for 9 p.m. on January 21 about four thousand years ago.
But, of course, the whole point is the “not to mention the offense to the Christian majority,” who apparently take offense at each and every breath drawn by anyone who doesn’t subscribe to their particular flavor of Christianity. Other offenses to the Christian majority: Jews refusing to name their children after Christian saints, Jews taking shelf space in the grocery around passover from Christian food and giving it to Jewish stuff like matzoh, Jewish stores being open on Sunday, and Jews insisting on putting those mezuzah thingies on their door frames as an open affront to their Christian neighbors.
This being The American Genius website, Ms. Lauren throws out a number of additional and similarly irrefutable arguments in support of A.D. and B.C., including one that I’ll call the Thor Appeal
We all in our daily lives, in a Western society with a lengthy and complex history, use a great number of names of pagan origin. Our weekdays — for example, “Thursday,” named for the Norse god Thor — originate in decidedly non-Christian cultural history.
This would be a really excellent argument, I suppose, if the dominant culture in the U.S. practiced Norse mythology and prayed to Thor in public schools, then the maintenance of the name Thursday might actually mean something.
Finally, Lauren argues that A.D. and B.C. aren’t offensive because people are too dumb to understand what those terms mean:
“Before Christ,” if one is concerned about sensitivity towards non-Christians, may not necessarily be viewed as referring to the belief system that Jesus is the Messiah, since it is not always known in contemporary culture that “Christ” means just that.
Similarly, making the reasonable assumption that Ms. Lauren doesn’t speak French, she can’t possibly be offended when I call her a putain because she has no idea what that means.
Anyway, I think that the proper solution is to get rid of A.D., B.C., C.E., and B.C.E. and replace them with A.B. and B.B. for before and after butthurt, with the index year being 2008, and I think you know why.
Done by Tintin, this 9th Day of January, 4 A.B.
It wasn’t enough for the Jews to have crucified Christ the first time; they have to keep doing it over and over again.
Speaking as a hobby-level carpenter, it’s really tough to get good joints reusing old nail holes. I recommend machine bolts with washers.
as long as nobody plays ABBA I’m happy.
I got marked down on a history paper in high school 20+ years ago for using ‘CE’ and ‘BCE’. She’s really on the cutting edge of butthurt with this one, isn’t she?
For natch
“It wasn’t enough for the Jews to have crucified Christ the first time; they have to keep doing it over and over again.”
Is there any other way to deal with a zombie?
She’d be even more butthurt if she realised that one of the reasons for the move away from “B.C.” and “A.D.” is that the mainstream historical consensus is more or less that if there actually even was a Jesus Christ (and there’s no real contemporary evidence to support that hypothesis), we’re even less sure than we were a few hundred years ago when that person was actually born, assuming he was born at all.
I wonder, since someone who’s butthurt to that degree about “CE” is probably a creationist, if she’d be more or less offended to find out that that Jewy Jewy Jewy Hebrew calendar has its Year 0 at the purported creation of the world.
My calander measures the years in the TBE (Thread Bear Era) and the BTBE. Of course, my calander doesn’t bother assigning any numbers to the BTBE years as nothing of any importance whatsoever happened back then, only the TBE matters.
Give the lady a break. I’m sure she’s perfectly fine with Jews – just so long as they’re in the Middle East hastening the Rapture.
and Jews insisting on putting those mezuzah thingies on their door frames as an open affront to their Christian neighbors
Hmmm… I’m one of them Whiskeypalians and I’ve got mezzuzahs on my front and back doorframes, all properly done up by the local rabbi, who was kind enough to write them for us. I suppose that must offend the crap out of her.
Putting up a mezuzah.
Major Kong: I’m sure she’s fine with Chasidim and Haredim as well—convinced they’re Hell-bound, but so are a whole bunch of nice sinners; I’m sure she’s fine with Israelis, under the mistaken impression that they all support Netanyahu. They’re too far away and/or disengaged with America (or non-Jews or non-Orthodox Jews) to care what the funny letters in that relatively new alphabet mean.
I, for one, am pleased as Humphrey’s punch to be exactly the sort of Jew with whom she’s _not_ fine.
From her poetry whinge:
Yeah, cause he never wrote a bunch of stuff about dicks and farting, right?
Mmmk. Can someone tell me what these new dividing anagrams mean?
Also re: prior thread: There’s no way that is wiley. She’s getting nym/blog jacked by someone.
Lots of Xtians put up those pictures of Aryan Jesus. This offends people who paid attention in school. Probably Jesus too.
Wait, so according to her, referring to the current age as the common era goes back to Kepler? Jesus, lady, get the fuck over it.
Yeah, cause he never wrote a bunch of stuff about dicks and farting, right?
As long as it is rhymed and metered that stuff is pure genius!
I now suspect that one of the many geniuses that post here will soon regale us with rhymed and metered farting dicks.
Mmmk. Can someone tell me what these new dividing anagrams mean?
Per Tintin, Before Butthurt and After Butthurt. He ‘splained it at the end of the post, but I almost missed it too.
If people really wanted to stick it to Christians they’d move year one well out of any possible lifespan for the J-man. I vote for 1776.
Important Era, and Before Important Era. Or B.U.S., A.U.S.
Significant Era would allow the acronym A.S.S., though.
Just tell her it stands for “Christian Era.”
Repost from the lasty thread because it’s just too delicious to go unnoticed:
Somebody call a Waaambulance!
I’M THE REAL HATER!
http://hillbuzz.org/the-tolerant-left-in-action-gaystapo-attacks-gay-republicans-in-iowa-87641
But wait! There’s more!
After yesterday’s post about Hillbuzz’s homocon blogger Kevin DuJan, I’ve received emails from JMG readers reporting that their comments there are being altered to make it look like they are making physical threats. A quick scan on that Hillbuzz post reveals several vile and abusive comments allegedly made by “our side.” What IS it about homocons and all these faked attacks?
From out of the Abbey St. Giles
Came a screech that was heard for miles.
Said the Abbot, “Good Gracious,
Has Father Ignatious
Forgotten the bishop has piles?”
There ya go, all rhymed up and metered to hell and back. (In preview the spacing looks all weird, for which I apologize. FYWP.)
One can only hope.
On second thought I am mangling the use of Era by including an After. The Common Era and similar terms don’t need an After, in spite of the Befores.
Per Tintin, Before Butthurt and After Butthurt. He ‘splained it at the end of the post, but I almost missed it too.
I meant the real ones. I think I see that it’s “Common Era”.
I now suspect that one of the many geniuses that post here will soon regale us with rhymed and metered farting dicks.
It’s been metered (measured). I would appreciate tips on making it rhyme. I don’t think I can make it fart. I haven’t yet tried though.
“Yeah, cause he never wrote a bunch of stuff about dicks and farting, right?”
My daughter played Bianca in a high school production of “The Taming of the Shrew,” where she got to say:
“Head, and butt! an hasty-witted body
Would say your head and butt were head and horn”
I was very proud.
What about am and pm for the time. How anti-christian are they? My butt is hurting something fierce about them!
Yep. And it’s been in use for a long fucking time.
What about am and pm for the time. How anti-christian are they?
I knew there was a reason we didn’t use them in the military!
After Butthurt comes Santorum.
If you know what I mean.
And I think you do.
“Before Christ,” if one is concerned about sensitivity towards non-Christians, may not necessarily be viewed as referring to the belief system that Jesus is the Messiah, since it is not always known in contemporary culture that “Christ” means just that.
Yeah! For serious, guys. Who’s this “Jesus” guy that all them “Christians” I keep hearing about but have never met and certainly never counted myself among keep talking about? I’ve managed to make it three decades as a citizen of the United States but have never once heard of this Jesus guy.
Wait, is he the dude who sells hot dogs in the stands down at Comisky Park? Because I swear I bought a hot dog from a dude named Jesus the last time I caught a White Sox game. He seemed like he was only about 35, though, so I’m not sure how the before Jesus time started, like, 2012 years ago.
Maybe the dude was like that one guy from that one episode of the original Star Trek and he just doesn’t age? Because that would be cool and I’d totally worship Mr. Jesus, the hot dog vendor if that were the case.
If you know what I mean.
And I think you do.
I knew what you meant four…no, five times on Sunday alone. Oh, yeah.
I swear I bought a hot dog from a dude named Jesus
Except they pronounce it like they just ran into Theodor Geisel – “Hey Seuss!”
Since much of the “Republican base” thinks the world is 6,000 years old, let’s use that as our benchmark. We can number years as B.A.E.K.T.T.W.W.C. and A.A.E.K.T.T.W.W.C.
(“Before Almost Everyone Knows that the World Wasn’t Created” and “After Almost Everyone Knows that the World Wasn’t Created”)
Signed,
Bitter Scribe
9 January 3998 A.A.E.K.T.T.W.W.C.
Is there anything wingnuts say that is not 1000% projection? ANYTHING? ANYTHING? BEULER?
1000% projection
Oooh, my new TV.
Sophist said,
January 9, 2012 at 20:40
Country matters.
she can’t possibly be offended when I call her a putain
You’re calling her a bowl of cheese curds?
It’s hard out here for a Republican. Gays isn’t down wit da struggle. Always tryin’ ta keep a man down. “I need some freedom…freedom for my people…”
geds, I think you mean “US Cellular Field”
I know! Let’s all switch to the Mayan calendar!
Let’s all switch to the Mayan calendar!
Or we could switch back to the Julian calendar and we all get back about twenty days.
Yep. And it’s been in use for a long fucking time.
Ha, it becomes obvious where she did all her “research.” Fucking hell, she couldn’t even find another day of the week to use as an example different from wikipedia’s. Hint: ALL OF THEM.
I do things in Gallifreyan time – ie, this is the eleventh era, or Pond Age.
Prior to that of course, the 10th era, known for the War of the Rose, and also known as the “Yes, honey, I’m straight, but, ya know, David Tennant” epoch.
(Yes, huge nerd. But, my wife discovered Thinkgeek and has completed TARDISmas shopping for me for the next 20 years. Ppbbbllfffttt!))
Fucking hell, she couldn’t even find another day of the week to use as an example different from wikipedia’s.
Odin and Freya haz sads.
Now feels like the right time to mention that one of my blog’s recent search terms is “hot gay blasphemy blog.” Which makes me weep bitter tears my blog could never live up to such a title.
Wait just a minute, I thought it was the century of the Fruitbat?
kg: geds, I think you mean “US Cellular Field”
Next you’re going to tell me that I mean “The Willis Tower” when I refer to the Sears Tower, aren’t you?
If there’s one thing a good Chicagan is known for, it’s insisting that the new soulless corporate controllers of naming rights on our buildings are bastards and the real name is whatever the previous soulless corporate controllers of naming rights preferred to call them. We’re principled that way.
The important question is “Who stole the year zero and where are they hiding it?”
Next you’re going to tell me that I mean “The Willis Tower” when I refer to the Sears Tower, aren’t you?
“Whachu talkin bout, Sears?” just doesn’t have the same mellifluous ring.
If there’s one thing a good Chicagan is known for, it’s insisting that the new soulless corporate controllers of naming rights on our buildings are bastards and the real name is whatever the previous soulless corporate controllers of naming rights preferred to call them. We’re principled that way.
Keep up the good work! Real New Yawkers still call it 6th Avenue…
Rather than setting our calendars based on some arbitrary date during the Roman Empire, I propose newer, more arbitrary time eras:
* Anno Zappi- dated from December 21, 1940, the date of birth of the one true Messiah, Frank Zappa (PBUH)
Tintin – as of today the page never finishes loading in Opera. Chrome seems to work fine. I have had the same problem at TPM with Opera. The page just never finishes loading. “Elements: 30/31” forever.
. “Elements: 30/31? forever.
I like zinc and gallium and respect them as much as the next man, but this seems excessive.
Case in point: The Playboy Building in the North Loop, where Playboy hasn’t been for decades.
Got some trouble in the space/time continuum, Pup? Oh I see, you’re using the godless calendar settings. Well you know, that’s askin’ for it, really.
Hmm, WP may or may not have eated my hill areas anonymous comment.
Well Pupienus iffen you’re going to use the godless calendar, you will get trouble on the interwebs, which are the gift of baby Jeebus.
There are more countries in the world than the USA. Just saying. And more Other People in the world than Christians. So you may CLAIM VICTIM STATUS!
interwebs, which are the gift of baby Jeebus.
Now Al Gore (he’s fat, you know) haz a sad.
paradox
when one has been living under siege for 13 years non-stop and the results are infinitely measureable, then, imo, sometimes the reprieve— the reward,
being stuck in survival mode is discipline.
and dealing with the fact that how you dealt with the second government letter has, just an example told you that you that what you need to do get ready for the possibility of dealing with heuristics as heuristics because
EVER DO SOMETHING SO DEMANDING BECAUSE IT NEEDED TO BE DONE OR SOMEONE WILL DIE? THAT’S BEING HUMAN.
WE’RE ALL HUMAN. WHEN ALL THOSE STUDENTS AVOIDED ME AND I READ IT AS REJECTION THAT WAS EXACTLY WHAT I HAD TO DO NO
ANYONE WHO HAS A BABY THEY LOVE AND CARE FOR WELL HAS ALL THE TALENTS THAT ALL OF THE PEA
someone has hijacked wiley-kin when i can spell my own name. then i will no what i want for breakfast.
right now i’m not going to do anything no matter what even my sun for to i am his moon because we have to deal with 13 years
running a household like a naval ship going and getting it done before breakfast. paradox is paradox
when all that shit they’re spewing out which is literally shit if you use a simple human analogy.
if you’re a human and you accepted a mission to keep two people alive. Off the wall, hypothetical isn’t it funny how blah blah can be your friend
Ok, fine. Does this mean I have to say “Soldiers Field” too?
Is the Pacific Army back?
Ok, fine. Does this mean I have to say “Soldiers Field” too?
No. You must call it Municipal Stadium. Grant Park Stadium and Municipal Grant Park Stadium are also acceptable.
Also, you must call Wrigley Field “The Tavern on the Green.” Or, possibly, “That place where the Cubs keep losing.”
Also, the 3rd person plural is “yoose guys.” And if you want to go somewhere the proper terminology is, “Hey, yoose guys, let’s go over by dere.”
Did you “upgrade” to 11.60? I had to revert to version 11.60 because of all sorts of horrible issues with the new version on my mac. Most egregious being the inability to watch teh ute oob. What would I do without the ute oob!?!
…
Downgrading the browser.
Reverting the Opera.
Finishing the page load.
I meant I reverted to version 11.52 of course.
Yeah, I did. Reverting now….
Keep the 11.52 .dmg file around — it may silently “upgrade” you again in the future.
We must all revert to the mean.
And type mean things.
~
Ugh! Godless reverts!
Or we could switch back to the Julian calendar and we all get back about twenty days.
do we get to pick which ones?
That fixed it. FYI, OBS, there’s a selection in Preferences:Security to disable auto update.
Or we could switch back to the Julian calendar and we all get back about twenty days.
do we get to pick which ones?
There will be a long line for Marie Antoinette, circa 1785.
the 3rd person plural is “yoose guys.
Also acceptable is “Daboatayez”.
Now feels like the right time to mention that one of my blog’s recent search terms is “hot gay blasphemy blog.” Which makes me weep bitter tears my blog could never live up to such a title.
Hel-LO news year’s resolution!
While walking down the street the other day I noticed a VW Passat. At that moment I noted with surprise that I never altered my own car to be “ASSTAP.” Please note as well that I NEVER actually vandalized some cars that quite coincidentally belonged to friends by rebadging them “LESUX.” Never. Honest.
Yeah, because getting away from terminology that counts the years that occur before Jeeeezis returns to earth to zap all of those who don’t believe in him is, like, totes meeeean.
Relax, Liz. Nobody’s taking away your colonialist, Christianist framework for counting. We’re just putting a little lipstick on it (SEXIST!).
Pupienus said,
January 9, 2012 at 22:51
I like the cut of your jib young man!
It would be doubleplusawesome if said Passat was the “W8 4motion” model.
I prefer the julienne calendar. But then, I’m on a shoestring budget.
Yeah, cause he never wrote a bunch of stuff about dicks and farting, right?
Dicks and farting? You so want Chaucer. The filthy beast
Now that there is a ghey marriage in Archie, yes Archie comix, a “hot gay blaspheme blog” is going to seem like Martha Stewart!
We could also revert to the Marie Callendar, because PIE!
I prefer the julienne calendar. But then, I’m on a shoestring budget.
Yukon stop that any time now.
I’m always delighted when the reactionaries forget to wear their “Oh, we totally love the Jews!” masks and revert back to the same nativist shitbags that applauded the pogroms because at least somebody was doing something about those filthy Christ-killers.
Between that and when the WASPs show off just how much they still detest having to let those filthy Papists and their Hibernian, Spanish and Roman armies into the country.
You can take our calendars, but you’ll nevar take OUR JEEBUS!
John Revolta: Also acceptable is “Daboatayez”.
Man, I haven’t heard that one in a really long time. It’s a trip down memory lane, it is.
In a way, I pity the Tea-Partiers. Never have I seen such a mass of people who would be so much happier as out-and-out anti-Semites—for one thing, it would allow them to be against some large businesses without being at all anti-capitalist—but who just don’t seem to be willing to make the leap…maybe score one for common decency, or the tribute to which is paid by common vice.
Conservative blogging freelance job.
I’d like to highlight this portion in particular: “many of the articles you write may be ‘ghost’ written for others.”
I have many questions, but the foremost one in my mind is “I wonder how bad Jonah Goldberg’s writing truly is?”
Also, too: “To be hired you must:…disclose in your application for this job significant political knowledge and experience.” LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.
t&u…I will gladly write a glowing letter of recommendation for you, if needed…
I believe this is somewhat pertinent given the discussion of day-names as well:
Which came from our own Pupienus IIRC.
Beyond that, you’re all full of shit on the alternate time era-designations front; no one is going to be able to top David Foster Wallace on that one. “Year of the Purdue Wonderchicken,” “Year of the Depends Adult Undergarment,” and so on.
And some of my fellow Jews still think that conservatives are friendlier to our tribe than liberals are … I wonder how much just below the surface anti-Semitism it will take before certain people realize that just because someone supports whatever agenda is being pushed by Israel’s Likud party does NOT make them necessarily a friend of the Jewish people.
BTW, you missed an alternate shorter:
“The UN stole a calendar from us Christians”
t&u…I will gladly write a glowing letter of recommendation for you, if needed…
Why, thank you! I wonder if Drupal is hard to learn…
A couple of weeks ago, there was a posting for a conservative/libertarian/Tea Party blogger for a new site “along the lines of American Thinker.” And it was PAID. Unfortunately, in the time that I was hosting an ethical debate in my brain and trying to figure out a good story to convince them to let me post under a pseudonym, they took the posting down.
When they say “paid”, they probably mean in the chicken based economy.
DAS:
In fairness to our people, the minority that thinks that way is basically just the Likud party, there and abroad anyway. And even there I’m certain the Likud party is just horrible and self-serving in the same way the fuckers in Irgun were.
Why, thank you! I wonder if Drupal is hard to learn…
If I couldn’t figure it out in a weekend in spite of my complete lack of web developer experience, then yes, it’s really hard.
wow…liz lauren is amazingly butt hurt about this…I recall that when I went back to college in ’98 and took ‘world history up to 500’ I was a bit confused when professor mimi used the terms ce and bce, I was like, ‘hmmmm…when did that change? oh, well…’ i was more concerned with trying to figure out who the hell the kush were…
It’s painful to make go, but I am not a developer and I got to give up on it.
IIRC Burt Prelutsky was getting some teensy amount per column at Big Hollywood…somewhere under $40. And he wrote a lotta words.
When they say “paid”, they probably mean in the chicken based economy.
As far as I can tell, a chicken is a large fortune in the freelance blogging community.
It’s weird to imagine that the one place where conservatives are consistent in rhetoric is paying shit wages to the proles, even if the proles are working on their behalf.
Also, what Geds said.
People should investigate Tiki:
http://www.tiki.org
It’s relatively installable via XAMPP (which itself has an easy installer):
http://doc.tiki.org/Install+Tiki+on+XAMPP
The admin options once you get the thing running are relatively human-friendly, unlike, say, MediaWiki. If you can run the thing at work you might be able to make yourself look like a genius.
I do tend to be partial to the rhyming and metrical genius of such poets as[…]William Shakespeare.
Do I gotta be the asshole who points out that Billy’s best work doesn’t even fucking rhyme?
if the Jews really were in charge of the calender, wouldn’t it read 5772 instead of 2012???
The idea of learning something in order to become a conservative blogger strikes me as hilarious.
BTW, am I the only one who read the title of this post and thought that the article highlighted involved some conservative fuddy-duddy whining about online dating and the abbreviations kidz today use while sexting?
Nonsense! the aspiring wingnut blogger must learn plenty, like how to shill, how to be a craven lickspittle, and how to unthinkingly parrot the most outrageous lies.
I would say that really hard bit would be the un-learning that you would have to do
this is some of my favorite butt hurt:
i bet lizlauren feels very multicultural by using words like ‘ketchup’ and then pointing out it’s chinese origin to her less cultural friends…
also, too…jewish lady lawyers are bitchy and recalcitrant…
yes, there’s something about the word ‘common’ that makes me not want to get along with others…
does she really think that dating standards are really up in everybody’s grills nowadays? and isnt it just like the lamestream media to ignore this change in terminology which has the ability to change life on this earth as we know it? by all means…let’s have a televised series of town hall meetings and get this christ bashing into the open…i only hope that the discourse doesn’t get too frank because I plan on bringing the kids…
speaking of getting a job rightblogging …
i bet lizlauren feels very multicultural by using words like ‘ketchup’ and then pointing out it’s chinese origin to her less cultural friends…
also, too…jewish lady lawyers are bitchy and recalcitrant… – bbkf
Come to think of it Liz Lauren reminds me a bit of my sister-in-law —
SIL (talking to my wife about my recently departed father in law’s house): well we have one possible buyer — you know, that Mr. [Steinbergsky], but daddy never did want to sell his house to that Jew.
Mrs. DAS: Sis, don’t you remember? I’m Jewish!
SIL: Oh yeah, that’s right. But you’re different …
I would say that really hard bit would be the un-learning that you would have to do
That was another thing I was wondering about. I really don’t think I have the writing talent to make myself sufficiently dumb without sounding fake.
speaking of getting a job rightblogging … Woah, some nascent butthurt erupts!
Did the thin, attractive friends have short purposeful strides?
1,000 Facebook friends is qualification enough for anything I think.
That was another thing I was wondering about. I really don’t think I have the writing talent to make myself sufficiently dumb without sounding fake.
i don’t think that u have to worry about sounding fake…I think they just see certain words on a page and just go all buzz saw crazy and just start repeating butthurt phrases…
You could probably just write, ‘derp, derp, derp!’ and win some kind of major award…
SIL: Oh yeah, that’s right. But you’re different …
One of the good ones!
Did the thin, attractive friends have short purposeful strides?
good one…isn’t it amazing how much mead may have in common with a whiny nyu chick?
OT: does anyone else check xkcd religiously every Monday, Wednesday and Friday like I do? Today’s strip is a classic
i wonder if nyu chick is related to
this chick
I predict that girl will realize her dream and become a model. Of a sort.
Sydney Spies?
Doug from New Mexico gets itNow if it were a gal that was 200lbs the same could be said, but she would probably want to reconsider because that would be distasteful. The only reason it isn’t distasteful is due to the fact that she is at least HWP.,
Fat Chicks need not apply!
And he’s my neighbor!
Well, not really. 4-5 miles. He lives in Belle Meade, in a mansion. I live in Chalotte Park in a circa-1970 condo building that is crumbling.
.
(Fat Al, I meant)
You’re one of those weird Kiwis, aren’t you? I’ve heard every last one of you is an an insane, raping drug addict!
You’re one of those weird Kiwis, aren’t you? I’ve heard every last one of you is an an insane, raping drug addict!
and those are the good ones!
The bad ones get jobs writing at NRO.
The problem with going from 2012 CE to 2012 AD is that you have to update all your licenses, and plus the system is buggy and you’ll constantly have to be downloading updates. Most people would have been better off just sticking with 2012 XP, but then, you’ll have your hard-core types who’ll keep saying we should adopt 2012 Ubuntu.
Madams, you do obviously do not understand the special relationship between hill country men and their livestock.
You’d think that Georgian Englishmen would have solved this problem the way they sorted out longitude by declaring Greenwich 0 degrees. Didn’t Cromwell and the Puritans try a new year naming jape? I know the French Revolutionaries did.
Also, are we going to allow the besmirching of that film classic “Something B.C.” or “Racquel Welch inna fur bikini?” by having to change its name??
ARE WE?!?!?!
The Shah of Iran tried renaming the years and that didn’t work out. This guy got away with a fair amount of shenanigans.
Madams, you do obviously do not understand the special relationship between hill country men and their livestock.
I know that was indeed unfair. I know you all are very tender lovers to your sheep.
Indeed, the quiet weeping as the mutton is chewed is heartbreaking.
It is, indeed, the ultimate consummation.
. This guy got away with a fair amount of shenanigans.
He’s my favorite recent dictator, I even named our cat after him. The (totally unsubtantiated) rumors that he died from a cialis overdose while cavorting with four Kazaki whores are just icing.
Helmut Monotreme said, January 9, 2012 at 21:42
Wait just a minute, I thought it was the century of the Fruitbat?
I did too, but I just was re-reading “Going Postal” and that was the last century. This is the Century of the Anchovy.
Oh come on, no way.
I would say that really hard bit would be the un-learning that you would have to do
That was another thing I was wondering about. I really don’t think I have the writing talent to make myself sufficiently dumb without sounding fake.
Ballpeen hammer to forehead. You’ll write like one of them in no time.
Or just take up huffing. Should blot out enough brain cells to get you there.
So that’s where The Huffington Post gets its name!
Pupenius– stay away from Opera 11.60. It can’t handle Flash right (so bye-bye, every page that embeds video!) and somehow they managed to break the search within page function to boot.
Awesome: Romney is being taken to task for being a corporate raider. Funny thing is that it’s a bunch of slimy weasel Republicans doing it.
Indeed, the quiet weeping as the
muttonspring lamb (or at most hoggett but that’s pushing it) is chewed is heartbreaking.Fiqst for pedoculinary accuracy.
Any wingnut who refers back to Thor worship cannot be all bad. Remember, “Odin is God”– for proof:
http://www.bestweekever.tv/2010-07-23/comic-con-2010-nerds-protest-god-hates-fags-protesters/
Many moons ago I used to buy a good deal of grade lumber from several Amish mills in north western Pennsylvania, up around Lawrence county, Volant, New Wilmngton, etc. I was on a buying trip in the area a month or so after September 11, 2001. I had rented a car in PGH and driven up, picking up several of the Amish sawyers along the way for a meeting at a restaurant in Zelienople (which, btw, has the best crab cake I’ve ever eaten). One of the men asked me about the Twin Towers, and I answered, “Oh, you mean nine-eleven?” He said to me that no, not exactly, since “We don’t use your people’s calendar.”
In NZ “mutton dressed as lamb” is meant literally.
All this discussion colanders is really draining!
Pretend there is an ‘of’ in that sentence.
Also, hiya rodert!
So, am I allowed back in the spa after pointing out that Teh Crazee had re-invaded, masquerading as Teh Sane? 😉
.
I think you’re welcome here all the time, Jefferson. But there really is more going on there, and it’s reasonable for people to be worried.
Hello to you too Fenwick!
I haven’t been around much lately. Back in October I took my lovely Iris to Manhattan for a few days, then drove back to Miami via D.C., the Shenandoah valley, across the Smokey Mts and all the way over to the Outer Banks, and south again through Atlanta, Savannah, New Smyrna Beach (fascinating history there), Orlando, west to Naples, and finally across Alligator Alley, which is now Interstate, to Miami. We had a wonderful time.
We hopped on the plane back to C.A. in November, spent some days in San Jose, C.R., then bussed up to Rivas and Jinotepe. I’ve been going out on all night fishing trips in the Pacific with a group of fishermen from Cazares. Exciting. Tuna, Marlin, big Red Snapper, Kings. I use a pole (a short stiff job with a Penn 303 Level WInd that I picked up in Managua), they use hand lines wrapped around a block of wood, or just dive into the pitch black ocean butt naked without anything except a knife afixed to a long bamboo pole and spear their catch. Toughest men on the planet. Anyway, after six or seven trips out, a hernia showed up. Surgery! Boy that was fun. Not the first time though so now I have nearly matching scars, which kind of look like a pair of eyebrows. But I’m good to go again, mostly.
How have you been Fenwick?
Wiley-kin and her wonderful, wonderful, wonderful Clouds have just gotten news that the hammer is not coming down on him after all.
Awesome: Romney is being taken to task for being a corporate raider. Funny thing is that it’s a bunch of slimy weasel Republicans doing it.
May the Democrats pick up where the Republicans leave off.
It’s really unfair to wrench Romney’s “I like to be able to fire people…” comment out of context.
It’s like watching Chris Pronger get bllndsided.
This is awesome:
No-one? no-one??!
Common Era ISREAL!
Good luck!
rodert: I’m glad you are with Iris, and be-bopping around the Americas.
I had a couple of hernia surgeries last year. I didn’t get mine from daring fishing expeditions, though. Stood up awkardly after re-lighting a pilot and ka-blooey.
I need to come up with more exotic explanations for injuries.
I hope you’ll spin some more of your splendid stories from True Life. Always a highlight of any thread. I really enjoy reading them.
Wiley is either going to drive me insane or beat me over the head with my wireless Logitech keyboard if I don’t introduce myself. She keeps telling me to tell my story which is way too damn heavy to put into words right now. I can’t do it. Writing may be therapeutic for me, but it can’t be forced no matter how much she tries to force it out of me.
At any rate, I’m who she calls “clouds.” In case anybody ever wondered where the hell she got that name, it was from a picture of clouds I associated with my cell number when I programmed it into the home phone.
Oh, and she wants me to put up my random poem I came up with when she was talking about poetry.
Clay…baked…shiny black
snuffer
Happy now, Tina?
Now I need a walk and fresh air before I do what I need to be doing.
rodert: Also in Fenwick News, I’ve decided–after twenty years in Baltimore–to move to Albuquerque in 2012.
It already seems that way, but take good care of Wiley please and thank you.
take good care of Wiley please
Seconded.
Thirded
Say what you will about the metric system, it never killed Christ.
Let me fire up this killometer and we’ll see what it can do.
Fucking history, how does it work?
The renaming of St. Petersburg is brought to mind — an agenda of de-Christianization was at work in Russia as the city was renamed Leningrad in 1914.
Sankt Petersburg — or “Peter” to the locals — was renamed “Petrograd” in 1914 by the Tsarist Government, because the former name sounded too German, and Emperor Nicky of All The Russias had just declared war upon his cousin, Emperor Willy of Germany. (Vladimir Ilyich Ul’ianov, self-styled “Lenin”, was still firmly in exile in 1914.) Long after the godless Bolsheviks had shot their way into power in 1917 — apparently, over the helpless objections of the Christian God whom Nicky claimed to serve — they renamed it for their Dear Great Leader. After the unmourned fall of his regime, the modern government of Russia started calling “Peter” by his rightful name again.
What’s worse — these n00bs insisting that everything is political — as did Lenin — or them just getting the politics totally wrong, each and every time?
Every fucking B’ak’tun it’s the same goddamn thing, “Oooh we need a new calendar! OOoooh, this one makes my ass look fat!!”
You report: Phantom time hypothesis!
I decide: Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop!
as long as nobody plays ABBA I’m happy
some dance some walk around but the number one rule of the party is that abba makes you unhappy or happy or whatever there’s a reason they are so catchy.
work and song thy name is dance and work and
WAIT
A quick run to the google brings me this:
A stardate is a date in the fictional system of time measurement developed for Star Trek, commonly heard at the beginning of a voiceover log entry such as “Captain’s log, stardate 41153.7. Our destination is planet Deneb IV…” Writers and producers have selected numbers using different methods over the years, some more random than others, which makes it impossible to convert all stardates into equivalent calendar dates.
I like the random part…she could just make up her own calendar. Signing off…stardate 34295.7 Happy Year of the Dragon!
Common Era is English. Anno Domini is one of them damn foreign languages.
Don’t we have enough trouble with foreigners in this country without having them taking over our dating method?
Is it possible for an era to be any more common than one that is focused on reality TV and politics-as-sport?
Stood up awkardly after re-lighting a pilot and ka-blooey.
i wouldn’t mention this to major kong…
and fourthed…i left an explanation for my comments over on the last thread…
Is it possible for an era to be any more common than one that is focused on reality TV and politics-as-sport?
truer words have never been typed…
No. I watch news channels these days and all I see is a discussion of politics, it’s never a discussion of the actual issues. And I don’t think I’ve once seen a news show actually explain an issue to the audience. Heaven forbid we have an informed electorate.
Informing the electorate.
And I don’t think I’ve once seen a news show actually explain an issue to the audience. Heaven forbid we have an informed electorate.
they pretty much don’t explain ANYthing anymore…wcco news has a segment they call ‘good question’ wherein they take viewer’s questions on any topic, investigate it and come up with an answer….which i thought was going to be pretty awesome…not so much…i’ve watched maybe a dozen or so, and have never even once heard a proper answer…
i haven’t heard a proper answer concerning anything for a long time…politicians, news anchors, program hosts…nope, they all just string a bunch of random buzz words together and let it go at that…
perhaps this explains why i’m so fond of the weather channel…
explaining the issue
answering the question
I can’t remember I’ve heard a really good question asked of a politician. Or rather a really good follow-up. I mean, Republicans lie as easily as they breath and you have to stay on top of that shit.
But, listen, most of the folks you see on tV make a good living. They’ll do ok no matter who’s running the show. So it’s easy for them to treat politics like a game.
I wish politics were a sport. We’d have rules, referees and investigation of scandals, with actual consequences in the event of wrongdoing. Plus I bet a third of our political class would get disqualified for doping and or ethics violations of their contracts. Also we’d get stats like %bullshit of latest speech and % of campaign promises kept. Also we’d have a draft like the NFL and the backbenchers and mouthbreathers we currently have in congress would never make it off the Pocatello farm team.
I wish politics were a sport. We’d have rules, referees and investigation of scandals, with actual consequences in the event of wrongdoing.
By “sport” I meant something like college football, where money corruption outweighs the actual talent around, and where most people are used up and thrown away.
Even college football, filthy as it is, has more integrity than politics these days. I think the closest comparison would be pro wrestling. The outcome is predetermined, the grudges are fake controversies drummed up to get the crowd enraged, and no matter who wins or loses the promoters make their money.
I have no desire to see an oiled Newt in tights.
Common Era is English. Anno Domini is one of them damn foreign languages. Don’t we have enough trouble with foreigners in this country without having them taking over our dating method?
It’s worse than foreign. It’s Catholic
I have no desire to see an oiled Newt in tights.
why do you suppose callista always has that look on her face?
why do you suppose callista always has that look on her face?
A high roughage-volume to anus-diameter ratio.
A high roughage-volume to anus-diameter ratio.
ohhhhhh…so newt hasn’t been filling her full of shit…?
Prozac?
Ballpeen hammer to forehead. You’ll write like one of them in no time.
And ruin my perfect fivehead? No thank you!
Unrelated: I just heard a little story about the Repub candidates’ wives on the radio. Romney’s wife bragged about how, when she was diagnosed with MS, Mittens said, “You don’t have to cook dinner every night. I don’t mind eating peanut butter and jelly and cold cereal every night of the rest of my life if I’m with you.”
I *guess* that sounds sweet if you’re a retrofuck backwards douchebag?
Since when did she cook dinner? I’m pretty sure that if they can do 12 million dollars worth of renovations to their McMansion, they can afford to have someone cook for them once in awhile. Or, heck, even order out!
You’d think a 0.25billionaire would order in once in a while.
Order in, order out. Have Jeeves pick it up. Whatevs.
You’re just correcting me ‘cuz you’re jealous about all my Facebook friends.
why do you suppose callista always has that look on her face?
Botox. Turkey-baster.
They apply Botox using a turkey baster? No wonder everybody looks so surprised after getting it.
“You don’t have to cook dinner every night. I don’t mind eating peanut butter and jelly and cold cereal every night of the rest of my life if I’m with you.”
“And besides, one day I’ll be preznit and fix this polygamy stuff, and then someone else will cook and do the magic underwear unbuttoning ritual. And you’ll be able to stay in one of the houses with me forever and ever until Kobol is released from the Volcano and the dark people regain their souls from Queotzlcoatl and stuff.”
HOT!
Unrelated: I just heard a little story about the Repub candidates’ wives on the radio.
I’m getting really tired of hearing these daily puff-pieces about the GOP candidates on NPR every day.
“why do you suppose callista always has that look on her face?”
She knows that the one day she hesitates, even for a split second, in the performance of her wifely duties (read as: “Tongue-jack my fart-box”), Neut will diagnose her with dengue fever and kick her to the curb.
You are all welcome to that image. Merry January.
[…] Saying CE instead of AD is anti-Christian now. So tough to keep […]
paleotectonics is BANNED
“why do you suppose callista always has that look on her face?”
Ballpeen hammer to forehead.
“There’s a hole in the magic underwear, dear Liza dear Liza.”
I’m getting really tired of hearing these daily puff-pieces about the GOP candidates on NPR every day.
What, you expect them to do actual reporting?
She knows that the one day she hesitates, even for a split second, in the performance of her wifely duties (read as: “Tongue-jack my fart-box”), Neut will diagnose her with dengue fever and kick her to the curb.
“Tongue-jack my fart-box” is a phrase that always brings me such delight that I can almost overcome my horror at it being used in this context. Almost.
“why do you suppose callista always has that look on her face?”
Large doses of valium washed down with cheap vodka?
For a $100 donation, you too can own one of Rick Sanitaryorum’s sweater vests, which he wears because, in his words, he has “the right to bare arms.”
choking back laughter/tears/snot
Between him and Christie, I sense a comedy tour coming up after the primaries, with Gallagher and Dennis Miller. I also sense low ticket sales.
Callista, come here I want to show you something.
Callista whooo?
It’s like a prick, only smaller.
I feel sorry for the wax museum that tries to make a likeness of Callista Gingrich. They will only be able to make one that is more lifelike than the original.
I think that there is a secret robot factory somewhere that churns out Republican wives.
GRAAR!
I hear real estate is cheap in Stepford CT.
sad to say, nude newt and ‘tongue-jack my fart box’ made my day…
I’m getting really tired of hearing these daily puff-pieces about the GOP candidates on NPR every day.
Be glad you’re not in Massachusetts; last month WBUR did little love notes to Willard EVERY FUCKING MORNING for what seemed like weeks.
Be glad you’re not in Massachusetts;
Ima just gonna let that sit.
Oooops.
If only Lauren’s whine was about a massive Tax-The-Churches movement.
You know what I call secularization?
LONG OVERDUE.
For information on option “B” please see Heaven’s Gate, Jonestown, Waco, Chile under Pinochet, Indonesia under Suharto*, Iran or Saudi Arabia today, etc.
_______________________________________
* Jocular lateral trivia: in the process of overthrowing Sukarno (his predecessor), the CIA at one point hired some folks who made a porno movie with a Sukarno-lookalike all gussied up in a monkey-suit. Yes … the CIA destabilized Indonesia with furry porn.
Oooops.
gosh…I hope he’s not all vindictivey like those muslimy foreigners are…
“bbkf said,
January 10, 2012 at 19:05
sad to say, nude newt and ‘tongue-jack my fart box’ made my day…”
Jesus. What kind of day are you HAVING?
Jesus. What kind of day are you HAVING?
did I mention that I work by myself…and i’m easily amused…also had a phone call from self-involved mother…
bbkf: And that your tags have failed?
also too..u know I have the mind of an eleven year old…
bbkf: And that your tags have failed?
feck…
u know I have the mind of an eleven year old…
OMG ZOMBIE COUGAR!
I have always maintained that bbfk has the cutest and bestest tag-fails evah!
please see Heaven’s Gate
One of the most awful films ever made. Fails on so many, many levels.
I have always maintained that bbfk has the cutest and bestest tag-fails evah!
at least I have that going for me…
also too, zombie cougar…rawr!
One of the most awful films ever made. Fails on so many, many levels.
Yeah, it was no Troll 2.
Think Progress reports that Gingrich, Romney and Santorum will get tough on porn if elected. Hmmmm. Where’s Perry? One would think he would be on that like a bear on a twink.
The renaming of St. Petersburg is brought to mind — an agenda of de-Christianization was at work in Russia as the city was renamed Leningrad in 1914.
Once heard what is apparently an old joke there.
Where were you born?
St. Petersburg
Where did you grow up?
Petrograd
Where do you live?
Leningrad
Where will retire to?
St.Petersburg
Well, bbkf, now I’m worried you and I are, like, sisters who never met each other or something. We are scarily alike.
Jon Stewart nailed it last night: Romney is basically the result of the GOP’s economic policies, and now that their own Frankenstein is running against them, they’re getting pissy.
Well, bbkf, now I’m worried you and I are, like, sisters who never met each other or something. We are scarily alike.
i KNOW!!!
Trust me, we’re all scared.
I’m getting really tired of hearing these daily puff-pieces about the GOP candidates on NPR every day.
For an antidote, check out this article from Reuters–Reuters!–about how Bain “rescued” a steel mill in Kansas City. They put up $8 million for a profit of $12 million, plus $4.5 million in “consulting fees.” They left taxpayers on the hook for $44 million to replenish the pension funds they looted, while still cutting off workers’ pension and health benefits. One guy with chronic lung disease from years of inhaling asbestos was told, Sure, you can have health insurance. That’s $1,800 a month, please.
I hope Mittens’ enemies, whether Reps or Dems, tattoo “GS Technologies” across his firm, manly capitalist forehead.
I propose a new dating method. (No, not like that.)
WWS – anytime before today.
WIS – today.
WGS – anytime after today.
We Was/Is/Gonnabe Screwed.
the first being one where she waxes nostalgic for the good old days of censorship which would have forbidden any poet from publishing a poem referring to genitalia.
I don’t know anyone who is nostalgic about waxing genitalia.
“It wasn’t enough for the Jews to have crucified Christ the first time; they have to keep doing it over and over again.”
Is there any other way to deal with a zombie?
Should have shot him in the head like I taught you.
But headless Jesus keeps RISING AGAIN.
I don’t know anyone who is nostalgic about waxing genitalia.
I REFUSE to go back to THAT thread…
Trust me, we’re all scared.
and that’s exactly how we like ya…
Savages. Waxed genitalia can lead us out of the darkness.
Re Odin, the other line I like is “Jesus promised the end of wicked people. Odin promised the end of ice giants*. I don’t see any ice giants.”
* OK, not so much promised as heralded but still.
Rhyming is considered a dignified art
with poets the world round contributing their part
but no storied poet is as close to my heart
as the dude I saw in P-town that can make his dick fart.
I don’t know anyone who is nostalgic about waxing genitalia.
Your Internets Toobz are in the mail, fish.
It is, indeed, the ultimate consummation.
Consomme?
the other line I like is “Jesus promised the end of wicked people. Odin promised the end of ice giants*. I don’t see any ice giants.” – Pupienus
I heard that joke in terms of Dominicans and Jesuits:
A Dominican and a Jesuit were arguing about which of their orders was better. So they ask a Franciscan to settle their dispute. The Franciscan responded: “well, the Dominicans were established to help counteract the Albigensian heresy while the Jesuits were established in the wake of the Protestant heresy. And do you see any Albigensians around today?”
BTW — I heard the joke from a Catholic who was quick to point out that the history implied by the joke is slightly off.
And I was gonna say it’s probably wise to be scared.
SISTERS!
*wonders what classy decor can be found in Sub’s house*
I wish politics were a sport.
Oh, the performance-enhancing drug abuse would be entertaining.
I have the mind of an eleven year old
They’ll likely be wanting that back by now, will they not?
I have the mind of an eleven year old
They’ll likely be wanting that back by now, will they not?
i may have gotten it slightly dirty…
“It wasn’t enough for the Jews to have crucified Christ the first time; they have to keep doing it over and over again.”
If anyone actually takes the time to read the bible, they will find out that the Romans crucified Jesus after the Roman governor convicted him of Jewish Pharisee charges.
One of those perpetual pieces of misinformation used to sow hate.
Fecit, I say.