Fetch me my torch and pitchfork!

creepy. those wingnuts guys are such cowards. I thought that Trevino was in the Bay Area, so could be him.

The fools. Retardo Montalban is your real name.

Hiding is plain sight. You sly dog.

I hereby note in a typically cowardly fashion that Michelle Malkin is a goofy looking dumb broad. Also Goldstein and Patterico are chickenhawk paste eaters. Also they eat each others’ poop.

I dunno. The whole thing bugs me. Ten or so years ago there was a cartoon with the punch line “On the internet, no one knows you’re a dog”. I’m sure you remember it, Retardo. I like being anonymous on the ‘net. It’s part of the fun. You don’t have to worry too much about what you say, who you offend. Of course, once you DON’T worry about those things and post something untoward, it’s posted. Then you really don’t want to be “outed”. Hell, I’ve put things on this blog I haven’t told some pretty close friends. Because you don’t have any idea who “mikey” is. And they do. And it’s good to be able to do that. I don’t know how easy or hard it would be to figure out who I am, but I can’t understand the mean-spirited anger that would cause someone to try. As we used to say, Retardo, better dig a neck – deep hole…

mikey

That is one sexy pile of books.

It’s soooo big!

(‘scuse me; I just couldn’t resist!)

Retardo, you do crack me up. Put my mind at ease and tell me that the one from Illinois wasn’t from Cook County.

Whoops, man, that was me lookin’ ya up. It was a typo. I really meant to do a search for nekkid Smurfette pix.

You know, these fucking douche-bags can go to hell.

Man, you Americans….you listen to your wacky-tackies, your pasties, your petty-cakes, your maglalalangdingdongs, your Bill O’Reilly’s, your Coulters…..your fucking moron of a president.

…and then you guffaw and drop white phosphorous on Fallujah, or something…

It’s just not funny anymore. It reallly, really isn’t.

Mal de Mer, lots of Americans are frustrated too. I have not lost loved ones in any of Bush’s wars, but I am bone-tired of the endless war since Bush got into office. Like a lot of people I try to do those small things (like voting) I can do to bring an end to this horror.

GW — I dunno. That one didn’t list a town and I didnt bother looking it up on the map. Just said “Illinois”.

Mikey — I agree with all that. Psychotic as wingnuts are, I’d rather be anonymous. The cretins who post at Pasty’s and LGF and Misha’s are very capable of burning a cross in my yard or worse (IF Pasty provides them gas money, which I’m sure he’d be more than happy to provide, weasel piece of fucking shit that he is). As for Tacky, he’s not the kinda guy to DO anything, he’ll just make sure the info’s out there for others. They do have a sewing circle, and that kinda info gets around. There was a really spooky post, I forgot where I saw it, where some wingnut said he knew how many times Glenn Greenwald had been out of the country and where and when…

The art of shitlisting didnt die with Richard Nixon. But then Nixon only wanted to have his enemies audited. What we’re dealing with here is worse; these thugs talk about going to Yearly Kos with axe handles and Eschacon with guns.

Deep in the heart of Tustosan, and unspeakably hideous presence lurks within the inky blackness of its own foulness.

I would love to do a SF pork snorkel with tacitus, just to see how the other half does it. I’m not sure how he would handle the tragic tranny part of the evening, though.

There is no way Tacitus is running Camino. Doesn’t he know that 1.0.2 is out? Tacitus wouldn’t be out of date like that. Nice monitor, though.

Mr. Retardo Montalban?

And lot’s of people say I’m frightening looking.
HOLY MOLY!!!!!!!!!! (Your Picture)>>>>LOL

MarioGeorgeNitrini111
mariogeorgenitrini111
_____

The OJ Simpson Case

What drives me crazy about shit like that, Retardo, is that nobody takes it seriously until it’s too late, and then they all whine “how could we have known?”

There’s also this tendency that when people finally stop ignoring threats, they start overreacting to them – which is equally as irritating. Just use some sense: whatever you know, or don’t know, or think you know about anyone’s real life stuff, be a mensch and keep it off the internet. Don’t go giving away too many personal details. If you are the sort of person who’s going to give away personal details, make sure you’re also the sort of person who knows what basic personal safety precautions are, and use them.

I went on a few dates once with a guy who started displaying some vaguely stalker-ish behaviors – showing up at my classes at university during the day, waiting at my car, stuff like that. It only happened a couple of times, but it still set off alarm bells. I could have totally ignored it. I could have had a complete freakout and gone to the cops and caused this guy endless amounts of hassle. What I did was alerted a few of my friends (who were also professors) that someone was acting strangely around me, and while I didn’t think anything would come of it, I wanted them to know in case things did escalate. This way, I had already started the sort of documentation trail necessary to get a restraining order – if that ever became necessary.

Nothing ever came of it, and nobody ever had to know about it. But this just seems like a balanced approach to risk management, I think.

Somehow I always pictured you wearing some fine, Corinthian leather.

In a purely heterosexual way, of course.

A Mac user in San Francisco? If that is a wingnut, the poor dear is in HELL!

Ha, ha. For everyone’s sake, I hope it’s just a stalkery type with a crush who wants to know the real RETARDEAU.

best.photoshop.evehhhhhh.

I like how they seem to think that there’s a S,N! post out there titled “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Retardo Montalban, Including His Real Name and Employer, and How You Can Use it to Destroy Him.” I must have been out the day they posted that one.

OT but still amusing – Pammy has finally learnt about googling the word failure. It has only taken her two and one half years and she couldn’t bring herself to enter “miserable failure”. Is the woman a world record moron?

You mean like this, fiver?

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Retardo Montalban, Including His Real Name and Employer, and How You Can Use it to Destroy Him.

…and then you guffaw and drop white phosphorous on Fallujah, or something…

Yeah. We’re really the ones doing it. The lefties. The liberals. People who read SN. It’s all our fault the election was stolen. It’s all our fault Bush is president. It’s our fault 9/11 happened. It’s our fault the Iraq War happened. I protested, I campaigned for the Democrats, I voted, but that doesn’t really count, I guess. It’s all our fault, it’s always been our fault, simply because we live in the U.S.

Come on–don’t you think you’re taking your anger out on the wrong people? You’re right to be angry, but at the people who write/read this blog? What do you expect us to do, be human shields? Murder conservatives? Move to Canada? What response are you looking for, man?

One often has to aim at objectives which one can only very dimly see. At this moment, for instance, the world is at war and wants peace. Yet the world has no experience of peace, and never has had, unless the Noble Savage once existed. The world wants something which it is dimly aware could exist, but cannot accurately define. This Christmas Day, thousands of men will be bleeding to death in the Russian snows, or drowning in icy waters, or blowing one another to pieces on swampy islands of the Pacific; homeless children will be scrabbling for food among the wreckage of German cities. To make that kind of thing impossible is a good objective. But to say in detail what a peaceful world would be like is a different matter.

George Orwell, ca. 1943

That’s a good thought, isn’t it?

Yes, Orwell would piss on lying cowards like Sullivan and Hitchens if he were alive today.

The cretins who post at Pasty’s and LGF and Misha’s are very capable of burning a cross in my yard or worse

Bedwetter.

Jake hates being called a cretin, even though he’s not entirely certain what that means.

Gawd, outing people’s personal information is, like, so over.

Republicans are living in a pre-Connecticut Primary mentality. Soooooo 8/7.

Now all the cool republicans are calling people “Monkey Boy” and caricaturing them as white-gloved chauffeurs.

Expect to see me photoshopped into a French maid outfit in ten…nine…eight…

Expect to see me photoshopped into a French maid outfit in ten…nine…eight…

Uh, please throw you into the briar patch?

Let the Wall Street Journal know you’ve got a Johnny Unitas haircut, and next week it’s all “show me in chiffon!” We’re onto you, TRex…

Thers, you dog!~

Uh, actually, there’s a big drag ball in Athens every year called the Boybutante Ball and it raises money for AIDS research. Well, EVERYBODY dresses as the opposite gender for that party, straight guys, women, everybody. Except me. My faaaaabulous friend Jamie threw a party frock over my head, then stood back to admire the effect.

“Good lord. How awful,” he said.

“What?” I demanded, thoroughly embarrassed.

“You look like the captain of the girls’ basketball team forced at gun-point to go to the prom. I thought EVERY gay guy could do drag, but honey…you better wear a coat and tie or something.”

It was tragic.

I wouldn’t worry about sorry little pussies like Jeff or Josh or their fans doing anything other than making harassing phone calls. I wouldn’t even grace them with the title “bully”. They’d never do anything physical. It’s all just threats on the internet. If they had any gumption, they’d be fighting this war of civilizations they believe in so passionately, not sitting on their sorry asses, dreaming up the next hi-larious post where they have a dialogue with a package of Ramen noodles. Hell, most of them can’t even hold a job.

this sucks…

no more gary bot?

man i did love the idea of figuring out whether or not Garebear was a sock puppet or not – retardo you gotta come up with another jackass sockpuppet – Jose Chung comes to mind

S,N! always delivers teh funny but also the teh mindfuck….

TRex, the last drag queen I talked to, we had a conversation about roofing. Saved me a bundle on gutters. Upstate NY for you…

Hmm, what pompous wanker who splits his time between issuing self-congratulatory bromides about online integritude and issuing veiled threats to out people when he isn’t actually outing people and who has left roughly 3 dozen blogs in the past 6 months currently lives in the Bay Area? Hmm, it’ll come to me eventually…

TRex, the last drag queen I talked to, we had a conversation about roofing. Saved me a bundle on gutters. Upstate NY for you…

Okay, that’s hilarious. He probably could have told you a thing or two about false eyelashes, too.

Yeah, ultimately that’s the irony of the American Homosexual Experienceâ„¢ (no, not THAT homosexual experience!), all I really want to do is make a decent living, have health insurance, balance my checkbook, do the laundry, and eventually meet somebody to fall in love with and marry and maybe raise a kid or two with. Buy a house.

And yet, the Reich Wing just can’t leave us alone. Now why do you think that is?

Well, I do have an idea who this one might be, but the other I happened to catch yesterday, from Illinois, I have no idea.

I swear I didn’t do it! Cross my heart. But that mystery Mac user in the SF area whose nice, new Intel-based Mac has a screen resolution that looks suspiciously like a Mac Book Pro’s? That’s easy. It is our high lord and überboss, Kos! He just got one of those a couple of months ago. Now, what did you do to piss-off leftblogistan’s obergruppenführer? Tsk.

I thought EVERY gay guy could do drag, but honey…you better wear a coat and tie or something.

Sadly, you ain’t the only one. I don’t know about *you*, but I am seemingly cursed with an innate manliness that no amount of wig/makeup/cha cha heels can obscure. So I wind up having to swan about in man clothes, lookin’ all butch and everything. But inside, I weep. ; P

‘Cause it’s booooring, TRex. Wingers like their gays dirty, and yer dream of suburban bliss doesn’t get at that debased core of every fag joke they’ve uncomfortably laughed at while wishing “If only…”
And they’re willing to persecute ’til you get back to that mythical “Everything you ever wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask” (Seriously, if you haven’t read it, find a very early edition: it explains more about c. 1950’s American sexuality then you ever would have known you were missing.) state: closeted, bored in church, and waiting for them lasciviously in the bathroom after.

(BTW, do you find yourself unable to do the laundry for some reason? Weird.)

Valuable information: What Retardo doesn’t want you to see.

Hey wingnuts,

are you frustrated because your silly Google searches dead-ended so soon?

Well, with just four simple payments of $29.95, you can increase the scope and range of your Jr. Wingnut Detective Powers.

As an incentive, we will offer you, FOR FREE, these search terms to use when trying to find Retardo’s secret identity:

Anal doberman trot

Blatant darn romeo

Roman radon tablet

Datable moron rant

Batman antler door

Let me tell, you, for just those four easy payments of $29.95, you are GUARANTEED to get better results than you would by searching “Retardo Montalban, real name”.

So don’t wait, call today 1-800-Wingnut or just go to JrWingnutDetective.com

Clueless fucks.

yeah those cowards will TALK about going to dailykos with axe handles, but how many actually showed up? even the coward who proposed it had an excuse not to go. they must have realized that there are more liberal vets than conservard ones.

Nah silly retard, ya live in ma heart.

Hmmm. Motivation? Because while they claim to despise MSM, they still want to be named Time Magazine’s Blogger of the Year.

Come on–don’t you think you’re taking your anger out on the wrong people? You’re right to be angry, but at the people who write/read this blog? What do you expect us to do, be human shields? Murder conservatives? Move to Canada? What response are you looking for, man?

Mel’s been asked this before, Sugar Tits. Because Mel’s gone off on us before. It’s becoming routine. Mel never answers, though.

Mel’s been asked this before, Sugar Tits. Because Mel’s gone off on us before. It’s becoming routine. Mel never answers, though.

Pthht. How’s about crashing one of those Republican love-fests and telling every last one of the Reichwingers to “kiss my fucking arse?” Also, telling a few of those rightwing holy-rollers to that they’re on a roller-coaster to Hell wouldn’t be a bad idea either. Put the fear of God in them.

…That’s what we do up here. You think we’re civil because we’re altruistic? Ha!

…oh, wait. Never mind. I forgot you’re wingnuts are all armed to the teeth.

In conclusion, I’ve been hearing “what do you expect us to do?” since the 60’s. I frankly don’t know. Maybe you should stop doing anything because what you do seems to not work at all.

I would hate it if somebody posted my name on a web site because we got into a debate.

if my hunch is correct then the illinois searches are clear evidence that patrick fitzgerald is about to indict retardo montalban, but needs his real name for the indictment.

any guesses on what the charge could be? i’m thinking it might be slave trafficking, because both pasty and tacky have clearly been _owned_ by sr. montalban.

Wait, I thought the Sadly, No! offices were located in Belgium or something. You guys are fellow Americans? Now where is that Homeland Security phone number…

There. I’m outed. Now Jeff Goldstein’s commenters can beat me with axe-handles and “show [me] where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.�

Don’t worry, Retardo. They show up, Geddy, Neil and I got yer back (Lifeson’s useless in a fight)

You back up Rush, Rush will back you up!

Well, I’ve had enough of this. Retardo, I’m outing you.

The pseudonym “Retardo Montalban” is a clever play on his real name. Our Retardo is none other than noted film and television actor Ricardo Montalban, of “Fantasy Island” fame. Sorry Ricardo, but the public has a right to know.

And why would I do such a thing to you? Because I am actually William Shatner. Sure, you thought you had gotten rid of me that time you marooned me on Regulus I, didn’t you? Retardo… I’m laughing at the superior intellect!

Maybe you should stop doing anything because what you do seems to not work at all.

Ah… give up. Stellar bit of advice, that. Thankseversomuch.

So sorry that those of us stuck here in the current incarnation of Mouthbreather Nation (it is afterall a pendulum, and boyhowdy are we in a nasty swing to the right at the moment) are incapable of thwarting the basest urges of the wingnuts who are unable to supress the reptile part of their brain.

Sadly, the price of living in a (moderately) free society, we’ve gotta give the mouthbreathers their say. And sadder still, we have to let them to vote. And when enough of them get in a tizzy, we all get stuck with a mess such as this one.

But I must admit that the urge to put the fear of gawd in some of these twits does get tempting from time to time. Just because I believe in peace doesn’t mean that I’m not also convinced that the war-obsessed fucktards amongst us don’t deserve a righteous beating once in a while. But because I’m cursed with these damnable morals, I’m capable of keeping such impulses in check and as a bonus am able to supress the urge to blather on about my beat-up-the-chickenhawks fantasies. It’s what separates the adults from the conservatives.

In conclusion, I’ve been hearing “what do you expect us to do?� since the 60’s. I frankly don’t know.

But you’re positive that we should absolutely stop laughing!

If I wanted to be lectured I’d call my mom, Mel. You do realize that making fun of shit is why we are here and why this site exists, non? So you hope to accomplish what exactly when you come here to harangue us to stop making jokes?

I’ve asked before (and got no reply). What are you doing to help us get the hell out of here and help contribute to the greatness of your fine nation? What have you done for us?

Have you considered pissing up a rope?

Mel’s been asked this before, Sugar Tits.

Ha. Funny. Don’t call me Sugar Tits, asshole.

…and then you guffaw and drop white phosphorous on Fallujah, or something…

Uh, no I did not. I HAVE called Willie Pete on various peoples in Southeast Asian nations, but never a single mortar, artillery shell or gunship strike in Fallujah or it surroundings.

Gotcha there, big guy!!

mikey

Pthht. How’s about crashing one of those Republican love-fests and telling every last one of the Reichwingers to “kiss my fucking arse?� Also, telling a few of those rightwing holy-rollers to that they’re on a roller-coaster to Hell wouldn’t be a bad idea either. Put the fear of God in them.

Yeah. Because crashing parties and yelling at people is really gonna change the system. That’s really going to get people to stop voting for Republicans.

You know, Canada recently elected a rightwinger, too. Is that you’re fault, Mal?

In conclusion, I’ve been hearing “what do you expect us to do?� since the 60’s. I frankly don’t know. Maybe you should stop doing anything because what you do seems to not work at all.

The 60s? That’s hardly my fault. I was born in 1979. That’s your generation’s fault, then, if we’re going around blaming people. Because that’s all you’re doing–looking for someone to blame. So why not actually blame the wingers, instead of pissing on us?

Stop doing anything? What a great solution. What a wonderful fucking suggestion.

Don’t call me Sugar Tits, asshole.

I never did. And if I did it was the kikes and hebes that made me do it. Are you a jew?

man, a bunch of jeff goldstein sycophants limpwristedly prodding you with sticks while explaining their conspiracy theories about how ted kennedy killed jimmy hoffa and buried him in kennebunkport?

run as fast as you can!

I never did. And if I did it was the kikes and hebes that made me do it. Are you a jew?

No, but I’ve slept with a lot of Jews–does that count?

(See, I know one of the reasons I never went into law enforcement. I don’t let things like that roll off my back. I’d’ve beat Gibson with my nightstick if he called me “Sugar Tits”. Knowing that, I didn’t go anywhere near being a cop. I know what I am, and I know not to put myself out into it.)

So why not actually blame the wingers, instead of pissing on us?

This has become a recurring question.

Why must we all stop laughing STOP LAUGHING? And especially why only on Mel’s cue?

“And if I did it was the kikes and hebes that made me do it.”

Tis true, I threatend to pants him over by the monkey bars…

You want we should joke less maybe?

Mel is having a bad moment, Dog only knows I understand…she’ll be fine.

…try the 25mg valium dear.

Ah, go to hell, all youse. 😛

‘I’d’ve beat Gibson with my nightstick if he called me “Sugar Titsâ€?.’

Girl I hear that!

Mal de mer said,

August 17, 2006 at 3:47

“…”

well, we were all planning, under our god-given rigthts under the sacred reading of the sacred 2nd Admendment, to arm ourselves to the eyeballs with SERIOUS firepower and go out and settle a few scores, y’ know, Columbine-lahk.

but they still haven’t repealed those pesky anti-murder laws, at least not in OUR country.

but we’re prayin’, oh yes, we’re prayin’…

But, but, but…

That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

…I mean, doesn’t this…? Or was this intended….? Because I thought….?

Christ…I’ll never understand this whole freedom spread and democracy shmeer thing.

…I mean, doesn’t this…? Or was this intended….? Because I thought….?

I agree. But we’re the minority, and I’m not martyr material. We won’t win that way.

But we’re the minority, and I’m not martyr material

We’re not the minority, dammit! And hopefully come November the sensible majority will actually show up at the polls.

If the Repubs are still in control of the whole damn country after that, talk to me about that whole “alter or abolish” thing then, Mal.

And hey– I don’t blame you for being frustrated. I’m frustrated as hell, and I at least get a vote. It must be maddening to watch America f-ing up your world and not be able to do anything about it.

There’s a lot of lefties stocking up on the ol’ shootin irons these days, Mel.

We- They don’t see the margin in broadcasting the fact. Slow your roll, Custer. We’re getting there.

I blame those fucking “undecideds”.

it’s ALL their fault.

Alright. You’ve got until November….I’ll tell you, the behaviour of the so-called liberal media and of far too many figures in the Democratic party over the Connecticut primary really shook my confidence that anything will change soon. But I’ll tell you…the world won’t stand for two more years of BushCo.

If things don’t change in November, we’ll detonate the nuclear devices hidden in Pamela Anderson’s breasts and Los Angeles will become a sheet of glass.

Just keep in mind that big ships turn slow.

“…we’ll detonate the nuclear devices hidden in Pamela Anderson’s breasts…”

oh, lord, she means it.

she’s starting her march on our (undefended) northern border.

W!!! Help!!!1

Los Angeles will become a sheet of glass.

That’s not even a threat. Hell, I welcome that. Arizona Bay, baby.

*I* am Retardo!

/end Spartacus reference

“*I* am Retardo!

/end Spartacus reference ”

not so fast.

For, *I* am Retardo.

someone who shall remain pseudonymous clearly got under their skin.

well done.

I wish that Retardo would change his name to #&^*$(@, so then we could refer to him as “The Blogger Previously Known As Retardo”. That would be awesome.

Kathleen, that’s beautiful.

Why is everybody* calling “Mal” “Mel”?

*some

Because we’re spiteful unserious Americans. ;D

…and impertinent…and this -> :evil:…as well.

Because some of us cayn’t tipe wrtha shit…sorry.

[…] No? Neither did I, until a few weeks back when I discovered a certain paste-eater’s goons were doing some heavy research on lil’ ol’ me. But being the object of such affection made a lightbulb fizzle in my noggin. gmail? Was Scott Lemieux right about…? Yes, he was: New comment on your post #3102 “Ticky, Tacky – D’oh!” Author : Josh Trevino (IP: 71.4.63.67 , 71.4.63.67.ptr.us.xo.net) E-mail : tacitus@tacitus.org URI : http://www.tacitus.org Whois : http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=71.4.63.67 […]

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