Salt Of The Girth

ABOVE: Dafydd Ab Sammeyrch Ab Dyckwydd,
Le Roi du Sammich


The whiny-ass wingnut butthurt of the day (perhaps the decade) comes from our old Sadly, No! friend, Dafydd Ab Hugh né Dafydd Ab Sammeyrch Ab Dyckwydd né David Friedman, whom regrettably we haven’t visited for ages. Dafydd’s butthurt du jour is that when he goes to restaurants the liberals now make him salt his own food. The horror, the horror!

Believe it or not, sodium chloride — table salt — is not a deadly poison. I have it on the highest authority. In fact, it’s a vital substance for human existence.

But lately, America seems to believe the opposite: that sodium chloride is indistinguishable from sodium cyanide, and just a few grains of it will kill you. At least, so I infer from the fact that, in virtually every restaurant I frequent, I must salt (and pepper) my own food; evidently, seasoning has become a crime.

Okay, I’m going to say it because you know you’re thinking it: Dafydd could use all the exercise he can get, even if it only involves hoisting a two-ounce salt shaker the three-inch distance between the tablecloth and his 18-ounce Porterhouse steak

This lemma flies in the face of traditional Americanism, of course. Under what used to be the shared ideology of the United States, and still is the dominant one, we must assume that most individuals know enough about their own needs and circumstances to weigh, intelligently, the risks they take against the gains they buy — pleasure, satisfaction, and fulfillment. Much more intelligently than can any small (compared to overall population) panel of experts hundreds or thousands of miles distant… and lightyears apart in worldview.

This argument might make sense if, say, liberals had turned salt into a schedule 3 narcotic, banned it completely and sent saltmongers to the federal penitentiary. But here Mr. ab Dickwydd, who pretends to be smart by misusing lemma, is using a choice argument that boomerangs back and poops on his triple chins. Yes, people do know best about their own needs which is why, maybe, salting their own food instead of having a restaurant decide to pour a salt cellar on it may be more consistent with his bargain basement libertarianism.

Liberals (or Progressivists, choose your poison) are natural regulators; it’s in the blood! They want to regulate everything and everybody because, at core, they believe everybody else is simply too stupid to live.

But why should they think they’re so much brainer? I hypothesize that they’re convinced of their own superiority because, within the bubble in which they live, it’s literally true… because they only hang around with fellow liberals.

Yes, Mr. ab Dyckwydd went there. After stupidly arguing that letting restaurants take away diner’s choice is, in fact, something that benefits choice, he now calls liberals stupid, which is rather like him calling Jonah Goldberg unkempt and ovverweight. And, you know, I’ll say it again, because you know you’re thinking it again: thinking that Mr. Ab Dickwydd is too stupid to live isn’t really pushing the envelope.

 

Comments: 375

 
 
 

Who, hold up there Tintin, you’re gonna need to shorten that up some. Maybe give us a “shorter” with smaller words, and type real slow so Actor can keep up

 
 

This guy really annoys me because he pretends to be Welsh. If he were ever to go to Wales, they’d set him on fire.

 
 

Also, “Dickwydd” would be pronounced “dickwooth”.

 
 

If he were ever to go to Wales, they’d set him on fire.

Are the Welsh that serious about cutting back on salt?

 
 

Someone needs to tell this guy that not every stupid fucking that flits throuh the gloaming of his mind is worthy of recording or sharing with others. I dunno though, maybe 3M has a use for a substance that is utterly impervious to clues.

 
 

But why should they think they’re so much brainer?

WHY FOR YOU THINK MORE BRAINER THAN DAFFY?

 
 

Daffodil salts his Froot Loops?

 
 

We should sneak into the restaurants that Daffyd patronizes and unscrew the shakers, if he wants that much salt

 
 

Are the Welsh that serious about cutting back on salt?

No, just vowels.

 
 

Where does he live anyway? I’ve never in my life encountered unsalted food in a restaurant.

 
 

Yes, people do know best about their own needs which is why, maybe, salting their own food instead of having a restaurant decide to pour a salt cellar on it may be more consistent with his bargain basement libertarianism.

Oh, but actor TinTin, you know damned well that a mommy state government is evil, but a mommy state corporation who tells us, if a little salt is good for you, a lot of salt ought to be din-o-mite is just expressing the will of the free market.

 
 

PS Tintin, your link has extraneous stuff in it

Ooops! I just criticized yet another blogger unfairly!

 
 

Maybe the staff saw him come wheezing in like he was on his last leg and cut out the salt because they wanted him to live lon… no that couldn’t be it.

 
 

It’s the same restaurant that Tom Friedman’s cabdriver frequents.

 
 

This guy really annoys me because he pretends to be Welsh. If he were ever to go to Wales, they’d set him on fire.

I like to think he imagines his fake-o Welsh name makes him some kind of knyte bolde of tymef olde. Imagine him in full SCA kit, and also imagine him believing this is how people in Wales dress and act and talk.

Forsooth.

Also, “Dickwydd” would be pronounced “dickwooth”.

And that’s exactly what he is, isn’t he?

 
 

I would appreciate if this guy could point me to some restaurants in which the main ingredient in every dish is NOT salt. They’re few and far between.

 
 

PS Tintin, your link has extraneous stuff in it

Ooops! I just criticized yet another blogger unfairly!

Actor do me a huge favor and just take a second to think about your posts before you make them and if the subject that post is on is your own words such as tumble out of your keyboard onto the Internet and the mean things people have to say about them maybe hit backspace until the box is empty.

Thanks buddy!

 
 

Believe it or not, sodium chloride — table salt — is not a deadly poison. I have it on the highest authority. In fact, it’s a vital substance for human existence.

Dear sweet creamy Jeebus on a matzoh! Vitamin D is also a vital substance, which in excess will kill you dead. Just one of may such examples (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitamin_poisoning).

 
 

Urk! Html tag fail!

 
 

It’s the same restaurant that Tom Friedman’s cabdriver frequents.

Appleby’s?

 
 

Thanks buddy!

So you’re saying I shouldn’t have alerted TinTin?

 
 

America seems to believe the opposite: that sodium chloride is indistinguishable from sodium cyanide, and just a few grains of it will kill you. At least, so I infer from the fact that, in virtually every restaurant I frequent, I must salt (and pepper) my own food;

Little does he realize he grabbed the cyanide shaker.

 
 

Little does he realize he grabbed the cyanide shaker.

His single commenter pointed out that a typical fast food meal has 45% of the RDA of sodium

And then went onto smear the First Lady anyway.

So in Dafydd’s case, there probably isn’t much difference

 
 

Believe it or not, sodium chloride — table salt — is not a deadly poison. I have it on the highest authority. In fact, it’s a vital substance for human existence.

Sadly, no! Iodine is a vital substance. There is a little bit of it added to table salt. That’s the beneficial part of it.

/chemistry pedant.

 
 

I suspect Daffydhddyddllfwdd doesn’t like to salt his own food because it’s been about 30 years since he’s gone anywhere that wasn’t a drive-thru, and he doesn’t want to fill his mint-condition Commemorative Ayn Rand Salt Shaker at home with actual salt because it would harm is collectible value. Also he doesn’t know where to buy salt.

 
 

/chemistry pedant.

I got Mrs__B a necklace with a silver pedant in the shape of the carbon rings in dopamine.

 
 

tsam: GUBMINT ENFORCED IODIZINIZATIONING OF SALT IS SOCIAMALISM! Besides, you think Ddddffffddddd uses iodized salt? The man’s a walking goiter.

 
 

Sadly, no! Iodine is a vital substance. There is a little bit of it added to table salt. That’s the beneficial part of it.

Iodine sounds Muslin

 
 

Looking at Dyckwydd’s physique, it’s obvious that what the guy needs is MOAR SALT.

Also, too: “brainer”? Shouldn’t that be “brainier”?

 
 

Liberals (or Progressivists, choose your poison) are natural regulators; it’s in the blood!

LOL.

“I’ve realized my calling in life”

“What’s that?”

“Shit, man. I’m a natural born regulator!”

 
 

Also, too: “brainer”? Shouldn’t that be “brainier”?

Or in his case, “brinier”?

 
 

tsam: GUBMINT ENFORCED IODIZINIZATIONING OF SALT IS SOCIAMALISM! Besides, you think Ddddffffddddd uses iodized salt? The man’s a walking goiter.

MASS MEDICATION!

He’s just mad cuz more salt = more chins and he’s going for the record.

 
 

Salt shakers is theft!

 
 

What the fuck is “traditional Americanism”?

Slaughtering Native Americans?

Denying women the right to vote?

Owning slaves?

Grow up, you silly fat fuck.

 
 

You think you’re so smrt, Jennifer.

 
 

No, it’s true, nothing pisses off teh libs more than people who use a lot of salt. The more you use, the angrier Michelle Obama gets, so make sure you put plenty in everything. Double the amount you put in any recipe (recipe? who’m I kidding–dump an extra shakerful on your HungryMan frozen homestyle meatloaf ‘n mashed potatoes entree), and make sure you put on lots of extra salt on your McDonald’s fries, your Pizza Hut Meat Lover’s Supreme, hell, put some in your coffee, your Pepsi, and on your ice cream sundae for dessert! That’ll teach those meedling libs!

 
 

“Fat, dumb, and salty is no way to go through life.”

 
 

Of course, the hilarious thing is that Dafyddddddddddd nearly stumbles into the truth here, but in the wrongest way possible. The issue isn’t traditional American culture being ignored, but traditional American puritanism: salt produces hypertension, which is a lifestyle risk for older people (men earlier than women). We can’t wrap our heads around the idea that a food item might be situationally unacceptable – they have to be a sinful, morally incontinent act of consumption. Liberal culture (the ‘traditional American culture’, in which you takes your choices and you takes your chances) has no praxis bigger or more important than ‘Spend your money on things to turn into feces and shit out morally, to prove to our calvinist god of food that you are a member of the elect and may yet be saved from eternal damnation.’

And it doesn’t help that the boomers are the cohort now facing the threat of hypertension as a new, severe change in their lifestyle – they can never sacrifice anything without turning it into a shared moral imperative, both so that they are Good People for not consuming it and so that no one else gets to enjoy it either.

Dafydd, between his obsession with food choice as a moral imperative and his soon to be fucked-through arteries, is the problem with salt in America.

 
 

That’ll teach those meedling libs!

What really pisses me off is when people don’t get health insurance, even though the government says they have to. And don’t forget, emergency rooms are socialized medicine!

 
 

I have no idea what this guy is talking about. All chain restaurant food is drowning in salt…and any upscale restaurant serving under-seasoned food will promptly find itself out of business.

 
 

Also it seems to never have occured to Dyckwydd that the reason most restaurants oversalt the food is to cover up the fact that it’s crap and otherwise would have no flavor at all. I’ve gotten to where there’s hardly any chain restaurant I can go to because they all oversalt the food, and since I prepare something like 95% or more of my meals at home and don’t add salt to a lot of what I eat, I can really taste how overloaded restaurant food is with salt. Tyson tried sneaking that shit into their chicken a few years back, which made it inedible, and thanks to my complaints about it, my local Kroger started ordering through another producer that doesn’t inject the chicken with salt water. The nasty Tyson product isn’t even carried by the store anymore, which indicates that Dyckwydd is in the minority here in preferring his food over-laden with salt. Isn’t that just like a conservative, though – to complain that his right to have all his food taste like shit dictates that the majority should also have to eat shit, too? Because it’s just too difficult for him to make his own food taste like shit while leaving the rest of us alone. No, unless we ALL have to eat the shitty-tasting food he prefers, he’s being OPPRESSED!

 
 

Also, before a dim bulb starts ranting and raving in their ignorance, just because you can’t distinguish liberal as in John Rawls from liberal as in Politico yells at you all day (or as in you are cool with Obama drone-bombing children for some reason) doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to.

Dafydd ab Hugh is the greasy underbelly of liberalism, which is at its heart nothing more than a belief that he doesn’t have to listen to you because you didn’t choose to make a cozy nest egg writing wingnutty Doom tie-ins, and spend it in the most rational way – pork rinds.

 
 

he’s being OPPRESSED!

Now we see the salience inherent in the system!

 
 

Tintin, you read my mind, alright. He’s also too stupid to die.

 
 

Because it’s just too difficult for him to make his own food taste like shit while leaving the rest of us alone. No, unless we ALL have to eat the shitty-tasting food he prefers, he’s being OPPRESSED!

Nota bene: he doesn’t actually conceive of the idea that it’s possible for food items to be good or bad for you depending on the situation. His argument is not that salt avoidance should be a matter of personal choice (he tries to, but if he actually were to he would not have an article, just ‘I love pouring kosher salt on my chili fries’ right next to a picture of his asshole).

Morality is about shoving food in your own dumb mouth for him, which should surprise no one. His argument is that salt is not poison therefore it’s immoral to reject it. Don’t you know there are kids salt-starving in Japan. Sorry to hear about your troubles, Muslima, but I’ve just got to throw this salt away!!

 
 

Ahh, 24 karat Stupidium. Once rare, or rarer, anyway.

Christ what a moron.

 
 

alec – interestingly, that’s how I got Kroger to start re-stocking edible chicken – by pointing out to them that people on salt-restricted diets could no longer buy chicken in their store. Apparently that hadn’t occured to them when they went along with Tyson foisting off salt water for the same price per pound as, you know, actual chicken.

 
 

I have no idea what this guy is talking about.

Me neither. What specific rule is he complaining about?

 
 

No, unless we ALL have to eat the shitty-tasting food he prefers, he’s being OPPRESSED!

This.

My Way Or The Highway, the motto of the modern GOP.

 
 

BTW, more tasteless holiday decorations posted at my place.

 
 

We can’t wrap our heads around the idea that a food item might be situationally unacceptable – they have to be a sinful, morally incontinent act of consumption.

It’s basically an extension of the moral relativism argument: salt is good, so it should always be good.

Too, I think salt is one of those foods that has a threshold: if you undersalt in cooking, you actually end up putting too much on at the table (if you’re Dafydd.)

 
 

Try adding more salt

 
 

Me neither. What specific rule is he complaining about?

Fatty McFatass needs no rule to get all cranked up about a bunch of shit.

 
 

boomerangs back on poops on his triple chins.

Should this be “and”? Sorry.

I’m a bit particular about chin Sanchez.

 
 

“Me neither. What specific rule is he complaining about?”

Silly Sub. Article 4, Section 12(a)1i36(g) of the Pulled it Right Out of My Ass Act of 2009, of course.

 
 

Sadly, no! Iodine is a vital substance. There is a little bit of it added to table salt. That’s the beneficial part of it.

As much as it hurts to do so, I must say that he is right about that. You can survive longer without water than without salt (http://www.rsc.org/Chemsoc/Chembytes/HotTopics/Salt/howmuchsalt.asp).

 
 

Me neither. What specific rule is he complaining about?

I have no idea. I’m not sure he does, either.

And even if restaurants were adding less salt to food, no one will prevent you from salting your own food to your liking.

 
 

Little does he realize he grabbed the cyanide shaker.

Which, predictably, was completely reduced by the gallons of Mountain Dew and American (non-iodized) salt already in his cavernous gullet. Foiled again.

 
 

salting your own food to your liking.

That reeks of effort.

 
 

This lemma flies in the face of traditional Americanism, of course.

Too bad Americanism was under the cliff this sentence threw itself off of, dutifully following the other sentences.

Under what used to be the shared ideology of the United States, and still is the dominant one, we must assume that most individuals know enough about their own needs and circumstances to weigh, intelligently, the risks they take against the gains they buy — pleasure, satisfaction, and fulfillment.

In conclusion, let restaurants salt your food for you to the extent they, not you, choose.

 
 

…if you undersalt in cooking, you actually end up putting too much on at the table…

Not sure I can agree with that. I think it’s more personal taste. There are very few things I salt when cooking – gravies, soups, okra. Pretty much everything else – that I want salted – gets lightly salted at table. For example, I don’t salt steaks or chicken at all – I think they taste fine without it. I’ll rub down a turkey with salt before it goes in the oven, but for the size of the bird, it’s very lightly salted and you can’t detect any salt in most of the meat. Veggies get a light sprinkling after they’re on the plate. I actually take a kelp supplement for iodine, since I figured out I probably wasn’t getting even the trace amount needed with salt, since I use so little of it.

 
 

As much as it hurts to do so, I must say that he is right about that. You can survive longer without water than without salt (http://www.rsc.org/Chemsoc/Chembytes/HotTopics/Salt/howmuchsalt.asp).

You could eat all your life without adding a gram of table salt and you’ll get plenty of sodium. Between seasoning and the naturally occuring sodium, you’re getting all you need.

 
 

This simple truth also explains the Left’s obsession with the “cult of youth,” I believe. The cult of youth comprises not just those who are literally young but also those Lost Boys (and Lost Girls) who never grew up, despite their years; and it is coterminous with the culture of liberalism and Progressivism: a passel of impulsive, defiant, unthinking, entitled, narcissistic, dependent, nitpicky, and conveniently amnesiac “Philadelphia lawyers,” always seeking the magic words that will exempt them from having to follow the same rules as everyone else and from the natural consequences of their idiocy.

I call JanusNode.

 
 

What specific rule is he complaining about?

I presume it’s about the new FDA recommendations for the RDA of sodium, (1500-2300mg…roughly twice that weight if you want to take it all in salt).

 
 

Looking at Dyckwydd’s physique, it’s obvious that what the guy needs is MOAR SALT.

How are you supposed to cure a ham without lots of salt?

 
 

…if you undersalt in cooking, you actually end up putting too much on at the table…

Not sure I can agree with that. I think it’s more personal taste.

That’s why I added “(for Dafydd)”.

 
 

How are you supposed to cure a ham without lots of salt?

Penicillin?

Nicorette?

Cokld turkey?

 
 

How are you supposed to cure a ham without lots of salt?

Show him his bad reviews.

 
 

He’s so full of shit anyway. Local governments in the American colonies (that’s right conservatives, *before* the American Revolution) regulated food supplies. They ensured the purity of bread, the freshness of fish, weights and measures, all kinds of things to protect consumers from an unscrupulous marketplace. Insuring that foods don’t help kill us by lowering sodium and banning trans fats is simply an extension of that long and well accepted tradition. What. A. Fucking. Tool.

 
 

Liberals (or Progressivists, choose your poison) are natural regulators; it’s in the blood!

If that was true they’d have a blood test for it…and every GOP candidate would have to submit to testing (best on live teevee with, say, Orly Taitz overseeing the whole affair.)

 
 

What I find most odd about our favorite fake Welshman’s salt obsession here is that at least in my neck of the woods, the person most visibly pushing for all food service establishments and caterers to use as absolutely little salt as possible is Mayor Michael “Whiney Napoleon” Bloomberg, who is hardly a liberal (except to people that believe any urbanite who is not a Christian but who whines a lot must be a liberal).

Around NYC nowadays, you can go many places and have food with way too little salt (or maybe it’s just that I have had problems getting enough salt in the past, so I am now used to having my food a little salty). Actually, the person who caters our kiddush luncheons* is a good follower of the dictates of Mayor McWhiney and doesn’t add nearly enough salt to his food — and there are no salt shakers available. Good thing David Friedman doesn’t attend my shul: he’d freak out.

*yes — a caterer and not a few ladies in the sisterhood who happen to be professional chefs/cooks … nu? I attend a fancy shul — although many of the 1%ers I actually know are more on the side of OWS than on the side of the 1% — even those who made a bucketload of money on Wall Street … the real reactionaries I know are the wanna-be 1%ers amongst the top 5%

 
 

He’s so full of shit anyway. Local governments in the American colonies (that’s right conservatives, *before* the American Revolution) regulated food supplies.

He’s also full of shit because all of this has been voluntary. Even the NYC intiative, which an awful lot of companies signed onto, asked food processors to voluntarily limit the amount of sodium in their food, and that initiative was the “strictest” in the nation in that it went directly to the manufacturers, bypassing the consumer.

 
 

Local governments in the American colonies (that’s right conservatives, *before* the American Revolution) regulated food supplies

And that is the kind of oppression that led the colonies to revolt in the first place.

 
 

Theshe Bavarian Beer Lawsh are oppreshing me!

 
 

And that is the kind of oppression that led the colonies to revolt in the first place.

“No Taxation Without Salinization!”

 
 

You could eat all your life without adding a gram of table salt and you’ll get plenty of sodium. Between seasoning and the naturally occuring sodium, you’re getting all you need.

Not sure what you mean by the “seasoning”, but otherwise I am not sure that is actually true, especially for diets low in animal products. The salt trade is one of the oldest and most widespread in the world and pretty much all historic human populations have added salt to their food.

 
 

Looking out a dirty old window.
Down below the cars in the city go rushing by.
I sit here alone and I wonder why.

Friday night and everyone’s moving.
I can feel the heat but it’s soothing.
Heading down, I search for the beat in this dirty town.

Down town the hungry ones are going.
Down town the hungry ones are growing.

We’re the salt in America, We’re the salt in America
Everybody live for the food-go-round

If there is a monopoly on the trade of salt, it can become very important very quickly:

The Salt March, also known as the Salt Satyagrahah began with the Dandi March on March 12, 1930, and was an important part of the Indian independence movement. It was a campaign of tax resistance and nonviolent protest against the British salt monopoly in colonial India, and triggered the wider Civil Disobedience Movement. This was the most significant organized challenge to British authority since the Non-cooperation movement of 1920–22, and directly followed the Purna Swaraj declaration of independence by the Indian National Congress on January 26, 1930. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (commonly called Mahatma Gandhi) led the Dandi march from his base, Sabarmati Ashram near Ahmedabad, to the sea coast near the village of Dandi. As he continued on this 24 day, 240 mile (390 km) march to produce salt without paying the tax, growing numbers of Indians joined him along the way. When Gandhi broke the salt laws at 6:30 am on April 6, 1930, it sparked large scale acts of civil disobedience against the British Raj salt laws by millions of Indians.[1] The campaign had a significant effect on changing world and British attitudes toward Indian independence[2][3] and caused large numbers of Indians to join the fight for the first time.

 
 

“No Taxation Without Salinization!”

Certainly no salary without it (as it refers to the Roman soldiers’ salt ration).

 
 

Do you all know when you’ll know freedom is dead in America?

When they ban 64-ounce Big Gulp Cokes at 7-11.

WOLVERINES!

 
 

When they ban 64-ounce Big Gulp Cokes at 7-11.

Don’t worry. If this happens, it will be to replace them with 128-ounce “All Your Kidneys Are Belong To Us” cups.

 
 

a passel of impulsive, defiant, unthinking, entitled, narcissistic, dependent, nitpicky, and conveniently amnesiac “Philadelphia lawyers,” always seeking the magic words that will exempt them from having to follow the same rules as everyone else and from the natural consequences of their idiocy.

“I am a Reagan Republican.”

 
 

Certainly no salary without it (as it refers to the Roman soldiers’ salt ration).

For use as a preservative primarily, tho, as I recall.

 
 

“I am a Reagan Republican.”

You know how the loons say you should’t hold a joke seance because a real demon might answer? Don’t say things like that lest an acoustic tile fall out of the ceiling, hit you on the head, and cause you in your amusing Hollywood-style amnesia to think you actually are a Reagan Republican.

 
 

Dandi March on March 12, 1930

“Mother, there were spats and monocles EVERYWHERE!”

 
 

“I am a Reagan Republican.”

You know how the loons say you should’t hold a joke seance because a real demon might answer? Don’t say things like that lest an acoustic tile fall out of the ceiling, hit you on the head, and cause you in your amusing Hollywood-style amnesia to think you actually are a Reagan Republican.

Sounds like the plot to a delightful Judd Apatow / Zack Galifinaffyd summer romp.

 
 

Alls I know is somebody got drunk and had an ill-advised booty call with his Thesaurus.

“Otto West: Apes don’t read philosophy.
Wanda: Yes they do, Otto. They just don’t understand it. “

 
 

The salt trade is one of the oldest and most widespread in the world

Timbuktu is always cool.

700 km commute through perhaps the hottest desert on the bloody planet, he said quietly.

 
 

Where does this jerkoff think that most of the salt in the average American diet originates? More than three quarters of it comes from processed foods.

 
 

Sammich!

I hadn’t heard of the Federal Criminalization of Salt Act so this is all news to me. I wonder if the wingnuts will start hoarding salt along with their gold and guns?

I will stick to stocking up on cases of cigarettes and cheap whiskey for the coming apocalypse. Between that and making trebuchets for the local warlord I think I will be fine.

 
 

I will stick to stocking up on cases of cigarettes and cheap whiskey for the coming apocalypse. Between that and making trebuchets for the local warlord I think I will be fine.

You just stay away from my porn vault!

 
 

According to family history my ancestors a few generations back used to smuggle salt in scandahoovia. Gotta preserve all that fish y’know.

 
Till Eulenspiegel
 

This guy really annoys me because he pretends to be Welsh. If he were ever to go to Wales, they’d set him on fire.

This is true of 99% of white Americans claiming some kind of European nationality. Oh, the number of “Italians” who don’t speak a word of Italian. Youse is Americans. Get over it.

 
 

Gotta preserve all that fish y’know.

Some of us were hard of herring/

 
 

Oh, the number of “Italians” who don’t speak a word of Italian. Youse is Americans. Get over it.

Sometimes that’s not so easy, filos mou. I have a totally Greek name and, despite never having been there and not speaking a word of the language, too often I have to stand there after introducing myself to people while they tell me about some guy named Stavros they knew back in Pittsburgh 10 years ago and do I know him by any chance?

 
 

I hadn’t heard of the Federal Criminalization of Salt Act so this is all news to me. I wonder if the wingnuts will start hoarding salt along with their gold and guns?

Right next to the incandescent light bulbs

 
 

Timbuktu is always cool.

I still sort of maintain that for sheer big-picture tragedy there’s no match for the disintegration of the Mali civilization – a great, prosperous, advanced society, leaving only its name to posterity.

If it weren’t for the burgeoning transatlantic slave trade, it’d be one of those non-European societies everyone hedges about, in the usual manner of China. Amazing place. Incredibly complex.

And when the labor force to maintain the farmland that civilization made of scrub forest was sapped away, it was literally swallowed by the Earth.

Imagine if the Vandals hadn’t just destroyed Rome but caused it to vanish – that all we had left was the crumbling, mutilated remains of their temples and forums. Hard to imagine there being a ‘we’ at all.

Human history is riddled with hundreds of civilizations killed while germinating in the seed – but that one is the only one I know of torn out at the root.

 
 

Right next to the incandescent light bulbs

Yea, except…

 
 

Sometimes that’s not so easy, filos mou. I have a totally Greek name and, despite never having been there and not speaking a word of the language, too often I have to stand there after introducing myself to people while they tell me about some guy named Stavros they knew back in Pittsburgh 10 years ago and do I know him by any chance?

Do what we Irish do: boil it down into reclaiming stereotypes that have no real further power over you and use the black-armband history of your ancestors’ integration to either abet or foil currently disadvantaged groups, depending on whether or not Fox News pays you a million dollars a week.

 
 

He can’t even spell “Huw” properly, the great big ponce.

 
 

use the black-armband history of your ancestors’ integration to either abet or foil currently disadvantaged groups, depending on whether or not Fox News pays you a million dollars a week.

Yeah! Why can’t those poor black kids in the inner cities just open diners?

 
 

I don’t have any of those ethnic name problems. My people were some of the white trash God-botherers who got their asses booted out of Ye Merrie Olde Englande for annoying everyone else by telling them they were all going to hell. I’m one of a mere 30 million descended from the same band of malcontents.

People in this country are way too obsessed with where their ancestors were from, particularly given that if you go back even 10 generations it’s impossible to find out who the majority of your ancestors were. I remember going to my dad’s Aunt Edna Slappey’s 80th birthday party when I was about 7, and all the little old Southern ladies cooing over the family geneology, which, according to them, included Miles Standish. Once I was grown, I figured that it was all a load of rubbish – little old Southern ladies of that era were completely eat up with the idea of important ancestors, and it was mostly made up. Come to find out though, the family tree from Aunt Edna’s birthday party was actually for reals. Goes all the way back to one Thomas Gates, born in England in 1325; you can’t trace commoners’ ancestry back any further than that because before then, they didn’t have surnames. Which is all pretty impressive until you figure out that in Thomas Gates’ generation, 700 years and 21 generations ago, there were over a million people who contributed just as much to the ancestry as did Gates. (Well, maybe not over a million; the more you look into this stuff the more you notice branches crossing and re-crossing incestuously.) In other words, you’re pretty much related to everyone else in the very recent past of human history, so geneology is just a waste of time.

On the other hand, it was quite amusing to relate all this to my mom’s family who visited last summer, one of whom is eat up with tracing the family tree, and concluding with “embrace your African heritage.” As I told mom later, that probably explained why Aunt Marilyn felt she needed to retaliate the following day with a remark including the word “spinster.”

 
 

Yeah! Why can’t those poor black kids in the inner cities just open diners?

By using TECHNOLOGY!

 
 

People in this country are way too obsessed with where their ancestors were from…

Yes, and too many of them also are obsessed with where other people’s ancestors were/are from.

When I encounter someone who makes a big deal about my or anyone else’s ethnicity, nine times out of 10 that person might as well have “asshole” tattooed on his/her forehead.

 
 

use the black-armband history of your ancestors’ integration to either abet or foil currently disadvantaged groups, depending on whether or not Fox News pays you a million dollars a week.

My ancestors integrated in two stages:
1) 200 years of convict labor, interracial shack-ups, sharecropping and vagabonding.
2) 75 year of grumbling about how all the darkies are destroying society for good respectable white folks like them.

 
 

Yea, except…

The concern trolls over there are out in force about TEH MERCURY and TEH FREEDUM and obviously didn’t read about the new more efficient incandecent and LED bulbs coming on line.

Funny they are never protesting at coal-fired power plants if it’s all about TEH MURCURY.

 
 

Funny they are never protesting at coal-fired power plants if it’s all about TEH MURCURY

In the drinking water, no less.

 
 

In the drinking water, no less.

Without it, there’d be no conservatives.

 
 

also it seems to never have occured to Dyckwydd that the reason most restaurants oversalt the food is to cover up the fact that it’s crap and otherwise would have no flavor at all.

In the case of Old Bay, to cover up the fact that some of those live crabs weren’t actually alive and smelled a bit (according to a friend whose Maryland eastern shore family were crabbers)

 
 

Without it, there’d be no conservatives.

That would explain why their blood pressure rises when you talk about global warming.

 
 

I lived in Hampton for four years as a small child. I have seen the James river. Why anyone would want to eat anything out of the Chesapeake bay, especially bottom feeders like crabs or filter feeders like shellfish, is beyond me. Bio-concentrated heavy metals and weird ass hydrocarbon fractions is not my idea of a great meal.

 
 

TEH MURCURY is just a typical rwing dodge. Kinda like all the commenters on George Fucking Will’s screed about privatizing the post office raised junk mail as a reason for privatization because of all the poor trees who sacrificed their lives for the production of said junk mail.

I asked one of them, “if junk mail is the problem, why don’t you just outlaw it instead of taking it out on an unrelated party? The post office doesn’t generate the junk mail; they just deliver what they’re paid to deliver.” Of course outlawing junk mail would be an unconscienable affront to FREEDOM and probably WOLVERINES as well, so they were sticking with “kill the post office.” Which of course is kind of like prosecuting the checkout clerk at the grocery store where you bought the e coli contaminated meat, instead of the packer who produced it. Then again, punishing the innocent for the crimes of the guilty has always been big in conservative circles – guilt isn’t the issue; making sure that someone is punished is.

BTW, I was pretty disgusted to see that meme repeated on the Daily Show clip about the post office last night.

 
 

Just switched to google chrome and forgot my info wasn’t prefilled in.
The old bay post was mine.

Another thought – maybe those restaurants thought him Below the salt

 
 

Bio-concentrated heavy metals and weird ass hydrocarbon fractions is not my idea of a great meal.

You’re missing out on some pretty neat transformations. I have a third eye and a tail now, and I’ve never been happier.

 
 

But why should they think they’re so much brainer?

While fearing an ahem or two (the result of not having read the thread…Yet) I think the word you are searching for is Brainier, which surprisingly shows up as an actual word (I was suspicious initially).

But to answer your question in the simplest way possible: We are.

The Brains, we have them, in abundance…Which is why Zombie hangs out with us.
.

 
 

Why anyone would want to eat anything out of the Chesapeake bay, especially bottom feeders like crabs or filter feeders like shellfish, is beyond me
I only have steamed crabs once year if that. There is so much work to get such a small amount of crab, i figure it’s worth the risk.

My great-grandparents on one side were from Italy and I do know a few words of Italian – mostly phonetically pronounced swear words. Manly because my grandmother was amazingly foul-mouthed.

 
 

Uh – mainly not manly. My grandmother was most definitely a she

 
 

Yeah! Why can’t those poor black kids in the inner cities just open diners?

Thus, BItterScribe wins the internet.

 
 

You liberalsd are attacking GOD in USA, this will not statnd we will fight back

http://www.suntimes.com/sports/9479991-419/tebowing-gets-students-suspended.html

 
 

You liberalsd are attacking GOD in USA, this will not statnd we will fight back

Personally, I hate when a bunch of assholes decided they can block hallways or aisles doing whatever bunch of pointless bullshit they are doing to keep me from getting where I need to go.

 
 

This Tebowing-in-the-halls stuff reminds me of the scene in that movie about those Irish slave mills for “wayward girls” where one of the girls annoys the Mother Superior by kneeling and praying right in front of her in the hall. The difference being, of course, that they’re annoying everyone else in the school.

 
 

Mat said,

December 16, 2011 at 17:30 (kill)

What the fuck is “traditional Americanism”?

According to the alt text in this handy chart, an American Tradition is anything that happened to a baby boomer twice. Maybe that’s what he meant?

And:

Liberals (or Progressivists, choose your poison) are natural regulators; it’s in the blood! They want to regulate everything and everybody because, at core, they believe everybody else is simply too stupid to live.

Yes, as I noted at my place a couple days ago, those “progressivists” (wtf?) in the Obama administration sure love them some regulations.

 
 

Ahem.

Why am I not surprised that you would …Something about goats acquired…Look, see, I was after the cheapest gag that presented itself, yet should have been aware that that ground had already been raked over.

I will hang my head in shame and attempt to find ways to redeem myself (possibly with the acquisition of another pair of wet-suits for rotation out of the dry-cleaners for the promise of mango retrieval as a full time occupation.

In any event a shiny object in the interest of shame deflection

I’m the one in sunglasses playing the bass.
.

 
 

Yeah! Why can’t those poor black kids in the inner cities just open diners?

They could start out small, with salt licks.

 
 

You were quite a handsome young bass player, UNE.

 
 

In any event a shiny object in the interest of shame deflection

OK THAT WAS FUCKING COOL

 
 

Yeah! Why can’t those poor black kids in the inner cities just open diners?

Because whitey doesn’t like brothers holla’in’ about needing more motherf-in’ iced tea. It’s a shabby business model.

 
 

Funny they are never protesting at coal-fired power plants if it’s all about TEH MURCURY

It’s like how restaurants salting your food to levels that shrivel the tongue like a dessicated slug is better than salting it yourself to the level you personally actually prefer. It’s all about logically picking and choosing the freedomier option because they do love freedom. Also too logic.

 
 

This guy really annoys me because he pretends to be Welsh. If he were ever to go to Wales, they’d set him on fire.

The Dicker Man…

 
 

Another great song out of Bloomington, IN, Provide-UNE…

This is Indiana

 
 

Liberals (or Progressivists, choose your poison) are natural regulators; it’s in the blood! They want to regulate everything and everybody because, at core, they believe everybody else is simply too stupid to live.

No, we believe that corporations are too concerned with profits not to poison our environment or sell us sub-par merchandise.

 
 

Personally, I hate when a bunch of assholes decided they can block hallways or aisles doing whatever bunch of pointless bullshit they are doing to keep me from getting where I need to go.

Yeah, but damn, tell them to stop and suspend them if they don’t, don’t preemptively suspend kids because it “might” cause a riot(?!!!)

 
 

Llewellyn ab Fawr would totally run this guy through with a broadsword

 
 

People in this country are way too obsessed with where their ancestors were from

“We’re all very different people. We’re not Watusi. We’re not Spartans. We’re Americans, with a capital ‘A’, huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We’re the underdog. We’re mutts!”

Billy Murray (Stripes)

 
 

http://www.suntimes.com/sports/9479991-419/tebowing-gets-students-suspended.html

OK, that’s just fucking stupid. How in the hell do they get suspended for this annoying and stupid thing and not for the multitude of other annoying and stupid thing teenage boys do? I’m gonna hafta go with a thumbs down on the suspension. It’s no different than planking, wearing skinny jeans, being surgically attached to a fucking iPod, making entire sentences out of “um”, etc etc etc.

 
 

We’re not Spartans

I AM SPARTANUS

 
 

So, if the blathering class of christian trolls of America does decide to “get revenge” for keeping a bunch of self righteous kids from blocking a hallway, how will we notice? I mean the level of noise from that particular fraction of the body politic is pretty loud and whiny already, what’s another few decibels?

 
 

That’s pretty mild compared to some of the stuff I did in High School. It’s a miracle I made it to adulthood with all my limbs attached and no criminal record.

 
 

making entire sentences out of “um”, etc etc etc.

Um, like, uh, like, um Tebow and like, stuff. Y’know?

 
 

That’s pretty mild compared to some of the stuff I did in High School. It’s a miracle I made it to adulthood with all my limbs attached and no criminal record.

So when you catch Major Kong doing something mildly annoying PUNISH HIM BUT GOOD because you know he deserves it.

 
 

I don’t think they’re self righteous, I just think they’re typical dumbass jocks who were trying to get the attention of girls and admiration of other dumbass jocks. This fucking Teboner everyone has got is getting kind of old. Yeah, the guy is annoying as hell, but he’s a fucking football player. Kids block hallways all the time. Any zombie will tell you that schools have a much wider required corridor width as a path of egress than can be effectively blocked by a pair of meatheads imitating a meathead.

 
 

PUNISH HIM BUT GOOD

I usually have to pay for that sort of thing.

 
 

That’s pretty mild compared to some of the stuff I did in High School. It’s a miracle I made it to adulthood with all my limbs attached and no criminal record.

Word. Also, in the 80s, the big hair blocked every corridor.

 
 

You were quite a handsome young bass player, UNE.

/Ears pricked from the corner of the room…Thanks!

I’ll take handsome and put it in a locket.

OK THAT WAS FUCKING COOL

This also will go in there.

xoxox

Fwiw, the drummer was a friend from second grade onward and the guitarist is/was a complete asshole. If I see the dude first these days, he doesn’t see me. I was the 19th and 21st bass player in this particular band only joining at the behest of my friend the drummer on both occasions.

I did dig the tunes however, and occasionally sniping the asshole.*

*Not a VbsR
.

 
 

A man should never have to pay to have someone PUNISH HIS BUT GOOD.

 
 

I am half Welsh.

The huge plethora of fucks that I give about this: let me show you them.

O poor, poor, poor lamenting Syrre Dævyd Of Fauxhipsterkeltshire.

His plight made me weep! (?????)

Okay, yeah, shit, you got me – it was much more of a LMAO … but I was weeping on the inside.

Sheesh. Butthurt over not having enough salt in his grub?

[ MUSIC CUE: “My Heart Will Go On” ]

My main problem with the people who keep frenetically bleating endlessly that “Michelle Obama isn’t going to tell ME what to eat” is that they are to a man such a gaggle of utter fucking microcephalic infants-with-pubes that they seriously NEED someone (Michelle Obama or otherwise) to teach them how to stop suiciding via beef tallow. Teh nuts dropped quite a few moons ago now, oh ye waxing drama-bound man-children – mayhap you could do worse by yourselves than to act the part?

Alas alack, for this is not to be. Such a totalitarian concept is an absolute affront to their most cherished beliefs – nay, a loathsome crime of the human spirit that they will never countenance!

So it goes.

 
 

Conservatives pick the strangest things to go the barricades over.

“The restaurant didn’t put enough salt in my food! Mark my words – THIS WILL NOT STAND!”

 
 

Fwiw, the drummer was a friend from second grade onward and the guitarist is/was a complete asshole.

Fuckin’ singers, man. I sympathize.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE that garage punk. Best music EVER, and that’s a fucking screamer you’re playing in that video. Much impressed.

Have to make sure Zombie sees that too, he loves that stuff too.

 
 

Fwiw, the drummer was a friend from second grade onward

I’m glad he didn’t spontaneously combust. Or was that why there were so many bass players in Virginia’s Scrapings? (dig the name too, btw)

 
 

But, Daffyyd, salt-free food is not regulated. Many restaurants that don’t pre-salt their food are doing so in response to their customers’ desire to salt their own food to their personal tastes. Why do you hate the free market?

America really is in rapid decline when this is the sort of thing we’ve taken to bitching about publicly. Heavens to hold, the poor dear has to reach halfway across the table and turn the salt shaker upside down. When’s the telethon?

 
 

As a Denver resident, and lifelong Broncos fan, I would just like to say, Fuck Tim Tebow, and to apologize to the rest of the country for Josh McDaniel having drafted him. We had a pretty good stable of QBs without him, thank you very much, and the Tebow pick was one of many we will be paying for in years to come. That said, TT is a decent QB, and he is getting better as the season progresses (I think in his last game he actually might have completed 50% of his pas attempts). We are winning despite Tebow, not because of him. If you want to point to a reason for our success, credit our outstanding defense, especially Elvis Dumerville and Von Miller, “Doom and Gloom”. They have managed to shut down some very good offenses, and have actually broken two perfectly good quarterbacks this season.

 
 

No, we believe that corporations are too concerned with profits not to poison our environment or sell us sub-par merchandise.

Anyone in the room familiar with a novel titled Islandia? I’m about halfway through the tome (973 pages) and believe that the story is about to go there.

In any event if you chance to happen across a copy, you should acquire it.
.

 
 

People in this country are way too obsessed with where their ancestors were from

Amen to this

Jennifer said,
December 16, 2011 at 19:03

And to that.

I don’t know if non-white communities do this too, but I also have noticed among European-Americans that virtually every family (or at least it feels that way) seems to believe it’s descended from some significant royal or noble house in Europe. If we’re to believe the family tree, my folks were some kind of French aristocracy when you go back far enough. I’ve met other people who claim to be descended from the Plantagenets, the Ruriks, the Hohenzollern, God knows what else.

I’m sure they believe it sincerely and I’m sure it’s true of some of them, but in the aggregate, all these claims taken together are a major case of Too Many Chiefs Not Enough Indians syndrome. (Not to mention that if their ancestors had it that good in the Old World, why would they have left?)

 
 

The Gunslinger is a new item in my personal canon, even though the only thing I know about Tim Tebow is that he is a bad football player held aloft by wingnut welfare.

BRETT FAVRE

 
 

I’m sure they believe it sincerely and I’m sure it’s true of some of them, but in the aggregate, all these claims taken together are a major case of Too Many Chiefs Not Enough Indians syndrome. (Not to mention that if their ancestors had it that good in the Old World, why would they have left?)

In point of fact, if you work out the number of powers of two you have to go back to get Charlemagne, and take into account that his seed produced a mighty branch in the day, it’s close to a statistical certainty that anyone with European ancestry is descended directly from him.

Also, if you crunch the numbers your family tree can’t possibly be as wide as it would have to be for you not to be the product of a whole mess of incest.

 
 

BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY

 
 

alec said,

December 16, 2011 at 20:32 (kill)

The Gunslinger

That was, as the kids say, thoroughly humorous.

 
 

Apparently I’m part welsh. What does that mean exactly? Dunno. But I know 2 things about the Welsh: Jack and Shit

 
 

That said, TT is a decent QB, and he is getting better as the season progresses (I think in his last game he actually might have completed 50% of his pas attempts). We are winning despite Tebow, not because of him

I’m not ready to label him as decent yet. I do know that if I were facing the Prevent (a win) defense, (No pass rush, linebackers 20 to 30 yards deep), I could make first down passes all day long too. I haven’t figured out why teams hold them to under 15 points and then let them back in the game by totally changing the defensive schemes that worked for the first 3 quarters.

Tebow’s running ability, his toughness, his ability to get something done in the clutch are all great attributes. But I don’t think that will carry him to the next level. He’s going to have to learn how to throw a football soon or they won’t continue to compete in that division. San Diego isn’t going to suck for much longer, and the Raiders are starting to show signs of life. When Cassel comes back, the Chiefs may end up being competitive too.

 
 

How in the hell do they get suspended for this annoying and stupid thing and not for the multitude of other annoying and stupid thing teenage boys do?

Fire safety issues.

I gotta go with the school on this one.

 
 

I’m not ready to label him as decent yet. I do know that if I were facing the Prevent (a win) defense, (No pass rush, linebackers 20 to 30 yards deep), I could make first down passes all day long too.

It’s true: you give any QB seven or eight seconds in the pocket, he’s going to hit receivers. Coverages break down.

Plus, with his mobility, the second he starts to scramble, the DBs have to abandon coverage and head back upfield to stop him and keep him in bounds. That opens up downfield receivers by the bushel.

The only quality team he’s beaten was the Jets and even that was only on a last-second scramble where the D overreacted to a play fake AND while the Jets were missing at least two key players due to injury.

He beats the Patriots this weekend, especially in a come-from-behind, he’s earned his keep this season

 
 

Liberals (or Progressivists, choose your poison) are natural regulators; it’s in the blood! They want to regulate everything and everybody because, at core, they believe everybody else is simply too stupid to live.

No, I believe conservatives are too stupid to live. I could give you a whole plethora of reasons why, but the reference Jennifer keeps going back to – Fox News airing a story about the Taliban training monkeys to kill us – about covers it.

I’m not saying I think they should die or that I want some kind of voting restrictions preventing them from voting (although plenty of them believe exactly that about me). I’m just saying, thank God for their sakes that they live in a world built to a large extent by people who weren’t/aren’t like them.

 
 

Other famous Welshishmen include startlingly talented impressionist Rob Brydon, singer renowned for appealing to the largely untapped dynamic of female pleasure Tom Jones, genocidal dictator Adolph Hitler, organic meat magnate and tribal chieftain Charles Mountbatten-Windsor, and all people named Llewellyn.

 
 

Agreed with Tsam and Actor: Tebow is a mediocre QB in a crap division (at least this year). Quite honestly–and I say this, again, as a lifelong Broncos fan–I would have preferred for us to 4-14 this year so we could unload St. Timmy on someone else and concentrate on getting some Receivers, D-line and corners (Bailey isn’t going to last forever)

Also, “The Gunslinger” Laugh? I thought I’d pee my pants. That sucker’s going viral in my immediate circle.

 
 

In point of fact, if you work out the number of powers of two you have to go back to get Charlemagne, and take into account that his seed produced a mighty branch in the day, it’s close to a statistical certainty that anyone with European ancestry is descended directly from him.

Really?

Wow.

That I didn’t know.

Hell of a guy, Charlemagne.

 
 

How to stop Tebow;

One on one outside receiver matchups, keep inside position and force a good throw down the sideline. Push 8 in the box, bring the safety down to flush him out to his right. One linebacker spies and matches him step for step. If he even looks at the line of scrimage, you pound his fucking guts out.

Run: Covered.
Pass: Covered.

Tebow: Fail.

 
 

How to stop Tebow

Sacrifice a virgin while covered with goat’s blood. REMEMBER NOT TO LEAVE THE CHALKED CIRCLE.

 
 

Tsam, the Jets tried that even with 3 down, 8 out and he still ran around the coverage.

Sometimes, you just to tip your hat to luck and athletic ability. He has that going for him.

Personally, I see the Broncos going with an option offense if they miss the playoffs this year, and Tebow picking blades of grass out of his jock in week 16.

 
 

How to stop Tebow

Lindsay Vonn and a bottle of tequila.

 
 

Hell of a guy, Charlemagne.

He was the Ron Jeremy.

His grandfather was Charles Martel aka Tha Hammah. That ought to tell you about his….branch.

 
 

REMEMBER NOT TO LEAVE THE CHALKED CIRCLE.

TOO LATE! What do I do now?

 
 

Eh, it’s a livin’.

 
 

TOO LATE! What do I do now?

Only Tebow can save you now.

 
 

Guide me Landru Tebow!

 
 

Only Tebow can save you now.

Cthulhu > Tebow

 
 

Apparently I’m part welsh. What does that mean exactly?

It means you absolutely have to read this book.

 
 

One on one outside receiver matchups, keep inside position and force a good throw down the sideline. Push 8 in the box, bring the safety down to flush him out to his right. One linebacker spies and matches him step for step. If he even looks at the line of scrimage, you pound his fucking guts out.

Depending upon cornering situations, techniques like trail braking can be used to maintain more speed upon entry of a corner, and attaining more grip while turning into the corner, and has an effect on apex selection. In this technique, brake pressure is applied slightly later than usual upon deceleration, and is maintained during steering input, sometimes all the way to the apex. The action of braking causes a weight transfer in the vehicle, shifting more weight from the rear of the car forward to the front tires, increasing the normal force on them and in turn increasing the amount of traction the front wheels have. Because of the characteristics of weight transfer, this technique causes weight to be shifted away from the rear of the car, resulting in lower rear traction, and can be used to induce oversteer in some cases.

 
 

Because of the characteristics of weight transfer, this technique causes weight to be shifted away from the rear of the car, resulting in lower rear traction, and can be used to induce oversteer in some cases.

Sounds like an awful lot of work to Tebow.

 
 

FLUELLEN: Captain Macmorris, I beseech you now, will you
vouchsafe me, look you, a few disputations with you,
as partly touching or concerning the disciplines of
the war, the Roman wars, in the way of argument,
look you, and friendly communication; partly to
satisfy my opinion, and partly for the satisfaction,
look you, of my mind, as touching the direction of
the military discipline; that is the point.
Also the salt, there’s not enough in the tea and such.

Did that Shakespeare dude use “vouchsafe”? Gettin’ lawyered up.

 
 

I’ve met other people who claim to be descended from the Plantagenets, the Ruriks, the Hohenzollern, God knows what else.

That’s because nobody told them that bastards don’t count. Cut out the bastards and your royal houses are down to a few dozen hemophiliacs with shriveled claws and webbed feet.

 
 

Is it my imagination, or has the entire “Conservative” movement turned into George Liquor?

 
 

Things I plan to regulate:

Puppy-tail wagging
Allowable pocket-change
Filling-to-chocolate percentage
Red Dawn availability
Clam juice

 
 

I must admit that I always remain marveled whenever a wingnut decides he wants to talk about the oppression he faces and he inevitably starts talking about how they have to do an extra acton than their used to as if it was the same as actual oppression.

Yes, poor baby, because restaurants no longer assume you are the only audience and no longer put dangerously high levels of salt in the food to disguise the taste, you are forced, FORCED I say to take the excrutiating extra step of grabbing the salt shaker off the table and sprinkling it on their food to recreate the effect. When they DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO BEFORE.

Truly this is the same as having to plan bathroom trips before every time you leave the house, because every public bathroom you enter could be a place for harassment or violence, or being treated like a criminal every time you or your children enter a store, and that’s just the light fluffy stuff.

But yeah, it really cheezes them off that their patterns are disrupted and they have to minorly adapt. Ah man, some people prefer less seasoning and since its easier to season than not, most restaurants will lean towards that direction. Now I have to season, this is liberal oppression of me. Ah man, I have to remember that women are people and not demand my female boss “freshen up my coffee” or slap them on the bum like I’d use to be able to. This is clearly a removal of my rights. Oh Bob in Himmel, I know am expected to put forth a bare minimum of effort to be mildly educated on people I don’t know and remember at least their preferred appellation for themselves. Clearly this is Political Correctness and at least as terrible as anything those people have actually suffered.

I think they are so privileged and without real problems to bitch about that they are completely unaware how bitching about these “real problems” just makes it more clear how without real problems they are.

 
 

That’s because nobody told them that bastards don’t count. Cut out the bastards and your royal houses are down to a few dozen hemophiliacs with shriveled claws and webbed feet.

The main question that a modern person would have on seeing a convention of Euro royals is “Why would anyone burgle the Mütter Museum?”

 
 

Substance McGravitas said,
December 16, 2011 at 22:06

Things I plan to regulate:
Puppy-tail wagging

MONSTER

 
 

How come is it that nowadays any conversation amongst liberals turns into trash talk about Tebow?

Yeah, yeah, yeah — he’s highly overrated.
Yeah, yeah, yeah — he’s a self-proclaimed Christian who hasn’t even seemed to have gotten to the 5th verse of the 6th chapter of the gospel of Matthew …

wait a minute — I think I get why 😉

 
 

Is it my imagination, or has the entire “Conservative” movement turned into George Liquor?

It’s not your imagination.

Related: Mr. Meat would work as a replacement for this post’s picture also and too.

 
 

I am going to regulate monsters. Coming around here and eating the feckin’ cabbages!

 
 

No, unless we ALL have to eat the shitty-tasting food he prefers, he’s being OPPRESSED!

Exactly.

To a wingnut, the world must inherently conform to them and their preferences and any attempt to acknowledge other people exist and accommodate them is a de facto attack against the wingnut.

I think it’s because a tiny part of their humanity knows that the world really shouldn’t revolve around them and so having a product acknowledge that someone other than the dominant exists and working around that in a fair way also reminds them that said people exist, thus setting off a guilt response and then immediately a rationalization and hate response.

Stupid food acknowledging that some people like or need less salt and its easier to add than subtract. Now I’m aware. Oh yeah, well, my way is best and it really is a pain in the ass to eat undersalted food and its liberals over-regulating. Oh yeah, I’ll show the liberals. I will add buckets of salt. If I run a business, I’ll double the amount of salt in the product just to show them. Stupid liberals making me aware that someone other than me existed and the products I enjoyed before were painful or inaccessible to others.

 
 

I haven’t gulated yet. Why would I regulate?

 
 

In ten years, Daffydyll will be complaining bitterly about evil liberals forcing Arby’s to pack their roast beef sandwiches full of salt which real Americans can’t eat because of hypertension and gas.

I don’t think it’s even a privilege issue so much as a mix of the belief that companies are on his team – the American team – and when they change their behavior it’s due to perfidious evil liberal left-wing Alinsky pressure, which works best if you suppress your gag reflex.

Daffydduck probably has a post on deck fuming about how liberals have forced tree manufacturers to turn leaves tie-die bullshit colors and then remove them, presumably for the environment or global warming or the Black Panthers, and another whining bitterly about those faggy little bulbs on the trees outside his house that liberals put there in spite of the obvious will of the free market and the value of free choice.

It’s a case of being too fucking dumb to experience privilege-resentment. That takes work.

 
 

Another in the spring etc, which is the joke.

Boy oh boy oh boy oh boy.

 
 

I haven’t gulated yet. Why would I regulate?

To avoid the gulag gate.

 
 

I’m going to regulate internet cat pictures. A cat picture posted without a witty caption is hereby punishable by death. Obligatory.

 
 

Dafydd ab Hugh (born David Friedman, on October 22, 1960)

Also I am regulating name changes and the usage of the letter Y.

 
 

I’m going to regulate internet cat pictures.

You do mean the four footed pussies, right?

 
 

And I will require that all police forces replace tasers with plastic light sabres.

 
 

How come is it that nowadays any conversation amongst liberals turns into trash talk about Tebow?

My theory is that football so rots your brain that these sad folks don’t realize they’ve had the same conversation about an awful quarterbacksman and his scrimmage prayers every day for the last two years, like poor HM, who went to his grave believing Truman had just become President.

 
 

And I will make it a crime to post the wrong link.

 
 

But yeah wingnut complaints are like the extreme version of the old people who enter a store or restaurant and complain incessantly that some part of the transaction, service, or goods is different from what they hazily remember it being like 30 years ago (often will end in complaint about how the prices are insane, it used to be 5 cents for that 3 dollar item).

They really can’t handle change on any level. Even something as simple as a new industry-wide standard light bulb or reduced salt in restaurant food. The fact that it was different than they were used to is enough to start insane rages about society going to Hell.

I can’t imagine having a life so consumed by routine that the very idea of change on any level feels like an unforgivable attack.

 
 

I didn’t know Daffyduck was Welsh…but I did know Scrooge McDuck was a Republican.

 
 

Yeah, but damn, tell them to stop and suspend them if they don’t, don’t preemptively suspend kids because it “might” cause a riot(?!!!)

Oh I agree on that. I just have been cranky (not knowing whether you will be furloughed will do that) and people blocking the flow of traffic is just one of the (many) things that annoy me.

 
 

I can’t imagine having a life so consumed by routine that the very idea of change on any level feels like an unforgivable attack.

“Excuse me kind sir, could you give me directions to the nearest gas station?”

“Certainly, just head down the road here ’til you get to the old Smith place, go left past where the farm stand used to be, then straight on. Can’t miss it.”

 
 

but I also have noticed among European-Americans that virtually every family (or at least it feels that way) seems to believe it’s descended from some significant royal or noble house in Europe.

Pure peasant stock in my case – both sides

 
 

How are you supposed to cure a ham without lots of salt?

Show him his bad reviews.

That doesn’t always end well.

 
 

Pure peasant stock in my case – both sides

Looxury! The peasants I came from were far from pure. Filthy, in fact.

 
 

Pure peasant stock in my case – both sides

Makes a great soup.

 
 

I find that when I make peasant stock, it’s often too salty. Too much grazing at McDonalds, I reckon.

 
 

More Welshmen

 
 

No, it’s true, nothing pisses off teh libs more than people who use a lot of salt.

What really pisses me off is people who drink Drano. Or sit in their closed garages with the car running for an hour or more.
.

 
 

I also have a Welsh named cat

 
 

I hate it when people aren’t watching where they’re going and walk off a cliff. It’s like “Duh! CLIFF!”

 
59 Les Paul, union thug
 

Straight outta Wales on mom’s side; never cared that much either way; one night in a bar w/a friend of a friend visiting from Cardiff, my wife sez(before I could politely shush her) “say something in Welsh!” He replied “I’ll not be your lap dog!” Meant to quietly mention to her that Welsh men are a permanently surly lot.

 
 

Unlike a lot of people, I don’t give a damn about my salt intake. (Fun fact — only about 30% of people have to worry about salt giving them hypertension, and I don’t seem to be one of those, since the only things that raise my blood pressure are exercise, Dutch black licorice, and wingnuts, only two of which are any fun at all, really.) I just wish that all those companies that are reformulating their crap to be “low-sodium” would actually, you know, taste-test the results on people with actual senses of smell, because most of that stuff tastes like shit on burnt toast. (Ever had low-sodium dill pickles? Je reste mon cas.)

That said, do I bitch about how the world is going to hell and it’s all the fault of Mike Fucking Harris and Stephen Fucking Harper and whoever else is on my shit list today because companies are doing this? Fuck no, I just stop buying things if they decide to make them taste like shit. I can cook, and fortunately, the corporatist right hasn’t outlawed unprocessed foods (yet)…speaking of nanny-statists. (Well, they’re actually more like, I dunno, some completely unpleasant and almost entirely un-nanny-like authority figure-statists. Your metaphor here, cheap.*)

_________
* Don’t blame me, I’ve been cleaning up other people’s shitty technical writing all day. On the other hand, for fifty-seven grand a year, I’ll clean up a lot of shitty technical writing. The Man has indeed found my price.

 
 

Sub,
Could you give me a new list of names? I anticipate encountering my brother this weekend, and I would love to have a new batch to suggest for the son he and his wife are expecting.

 
 

What really pisses me off is people who drink Drano. Or sit in their closed garages with the car running for an hour or more.

My dad’s mom is a specific kind of crazy, and the other day he was telling us stories about their regular road trip to Boise to stay with her parents. As he told it, he came to realize that he ‘coincidentally’ got left behind for a few hours between Reno and the border each time they made the trip.

And having failed to ‘forget’ her youngest son on the way there, when she got there she contrived some reason for Dad to have to sleep in the garage (not like there was a shortage on room for his sleeping bag anywhere else) and then, because they made these trips in the late fall and it was cold out in the garage, she’d turn on one of the cars to warm it up in there, while he was there.

It got to be so there was a routine – her dad (who was some kind of Goddamn spook for sure, and having seen his things after great-grandma died we’re not sure which side he was on) would go down to her room, when he heard the engine turn over.

“Jan,” he’d ask, for that was her name, “is that the car running in the garage?”

“Yes,” she would say.

“Is Mike in the garage?”, he would ask, patiently.

“It’ll get cold in there,” she would say, affecting worry.

“Don’t do that,” he would conclude, and then go downstairs and turn off the car.

She forgot about the potential dangers of a running car as a space heater year after year, but it’s not like that’s something she needed to remember in her capacity as a nurse.

Yeah, I don’t talk to that side of the family.

 
 

No, it’s true, nothing pisses off teh libs more than people who use a lot of salt.

What really pisses me off is people who drink Drano. Or sit in their closed garages with the car running for an hour or more.

People who indulge in autoerotic asphyxiation. With a webcam turned on.

 
 

Yeah, I don’t talk to that side of the family.

I am touched by this heartwarming tale of deliberate abandonment and or assassination. Did your father grow up in the Addams family?

 
 

I do credit him for being a nice alternative to sleeping pills. Desperate for material doesn’t begin to categorize this guy.

 
 

In re. salt: the pathetic thing about the culture’s obsession with the idea that salt is a condiment of sin is that it does not bioaccumulate.

When cholesterol’s role on arteriosclerosis was believed to be stronger than it is now, the whole cholesterol reduction thing in youth made sense – the theory being that the bad cholesterols you eat at 20 will still, in minute part, be there when you’re 40, because that’s how arterial hardening was supposed to work.

No research has ever suggested that sodium behaves in anything like a similar manner. You could eat big heaping bowls of salt until you’re 60 and then not a grain the moment you display symptoms and then never worry about it again, and you could zealously limit salt intake to a few grains a day and still have to go out and buy KCl in your dotage so your heart doesn’t explode.

But that’s too mechanistic for us, because we like to read stories about food and health and think, “If I was behaving better, I would be healthier”, or in effect, “If I promise to be a better person, I won’t have to die.”

Salt as a silent, constant killer is a paranoid delusion, but it’s a comforting one compared to the depressing reality of hypertension. It’s a kinder world to live in where you can make pacts with the artery and telomere imps: in exchange for being as fussy and joyless as you already are – in exchange for being the sort of person who is interested in a jogger’s high, which by definition is already you – you can entertain lively fantasies about eternal youth, and you can turn up your nose in newfound contempt at those sad sacks in the hospital and the morgue and the old folks’ home. Suckers, you can think. You should have chosen to deserve to live.

I’m not saying that Friedman ap Daffydd is consciously rejecting this mindset in favor of a fat lifestyle. Certainly not – he’s just insisting to himself he deserves to live forever because he owns T-shirts with Reagan on them. Press him on it and he’s sure noble white technologists will allow him to download his brain into a computer machine. He’s made the right choices. He doesn’t have to answer to you, moocher.

 
 

Exployc Bulah the Rare Poison Sart Frog
Rehearses Roymbee
Toymwashers Unreported-Mettlesome the Persnickety Summer Flounder
Oxpehmakleprem Appender-Lavishing
Wilfredo
Luciesime Scraper
Katrina Actualities-Beings
Qu Noisiness the Dark Novelist
Wave Amortize-Suitcases the Short Film Producer
Pomertie Relying the Important Miniature Jaguar
Haskell the School Principal
Delia Reildoybkool the Ephemeral Ghoul
Hrpooleecroyle Mouy
Fleeceser Poho
Efxosknay Shock the Bryde’s Whale
Lieutenant Sitertouw the Unrealistic Shiner
Juchris Heavens the Silent Hater
Katelynn Supplanting the Parasitic Comedian
Koowpreevetrle Belen
Dohvaychfeyes Copejyclumev the Special Agent
Coercible Slats-Submodule the Delightful Nursemaid
Resplendentlyom Estell
Teleprocessing Joucoojriydap
Bess-Carlita Recommends the Roosterfish
Darnell Ah the Seedroach Swarm
Yuriko Dalila
Laurette Quayrojacr
Brigadier General Wilhelmina Expectancy the Exuberant Dog Walker
Dr. Lindsey
Transmogrify Joanie the Rotted Weredolphin
Mossnoy Ryatshoyquequokl the Paranoid Lemur
Compassionately Ria the Humid Ysgardian Vulture
Tamala Het the Insect
Leecldupray Nearly the Exceptional Miner
Germanis Planking-Blocks the Poignant Extra
Merefereed Disturbingly-Deep the Choreographer
Conversing
Broadest George the Nude Flying Characin
Arletha Agcoohtug
Donated Tearfully the Comfortable Deputy
Latoya Remuneration the Fragile Music Director
Melania Chante
Wynona Lorena
Ula Jachpreeve the Depraved Shaman
Joannie-Chau Bleeker
Suwsof Markita
Grandmother Accommodated the Besotted Chemist
Deirdre-Phil Sophocles the Doctor of Chiropractic
Quooccolumnize Heetboymfoprmakle
Umgladis Teresita
Dannie Rogyaycro the Pianist
Burning-Fibonacci the Champion of Baphomet
Misgivingsro Melezay
Gabbing Discuss the Mighty Eater of Knowledge
Zookeeper Meltinggr Bikinis-Reuters the Rare Jailer
Emilio Celestine the Obnoxious Floor Manager
Doudoh Verline
Piper Preepreeboai the Monarch Butterfly
McMartin-Deliveries
Dustier the Sea Hermit
Surefragment Annmarie the Nurseryfish
Angelena the Vocalist
Youbforages Visiting the Hopeful Mustard Eel
Put Roscoe
Tanja Riyvaywo the Grasping Statues
Soldialysis Senaida the Cancerous Boilermaker
Izetta the Spiritual Neurosurgeon
Usearle Geiger-Forging the Comely Locksmith
Dod the Pagan Vibraphonist
Croclrelabeling Filled
Sheek Veganism the Creepy Historian
Robbi Weary-Adirondack
Merlynyet Pikr the Pompano
Crovequnuta Martina the Nuclear Moor Cat
Tana-Shaneka Rolanda
Unbreakable Ballgown
Jay Defenestrates the Explorable Scarecrow
Culatashia Karrie the Flower Horn
Jerrica-Simon Sursen
Clarena Tufex
Coretta Jadwiga the Street Artist
Delora-Chadwick Trimness-Officer
Simplified Shayla the Modeller
Cavendish Led
Moses-Undermines the Fatalistic Industrial Engineer
Whitley Sof the Burrowing Owl
Royflorida Poho the Outmoded Database Administrator
Clinked Delorse the Eldritch Avatar
Marybeth Thomson
Uy Tasia
Silent
Fooxayxayof Shortcomings the Aristocratic Carbuncle
Johnetta the Historiographer
Phylicia
Adah Ballast
Nonlinearly Hyacinth the Particular Elemental Vermin
Kiara-Betsy Librada the Servant
Kidohoboydoy Sink the Barren Waiter
Mechelle-Jeffrey Guiltiest the Ivory-billed Woodpecker
Xo Salvaged the Bangu
Shery Quefaryeecr the Personable Cheerleader

 
 

I am touched by this heartwarming tale of deliberate abandonment and or assassination. Did your father grow up in the Addams family?

At one point they lived for several years in the Dutch Antilles, and a good steak cost as much then and there as it does here and now, not considering inflation. His dad, who is not insane but just sort of a prick, once bought them all steaks one fine Sunday morning just so, the next week, he could ask his kids (as he did the first Sunday) ‘Hey, kids, you want some nice, juicy steaks?’, only this time telling them, ‘Well, too bad’, and retiring to drink Dutch beer and wallow in his own crapulence.

So the answer is, basically, yes.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

I don’t know if non-white communities do this too, but I also have noticed among European-Americans that virtually every family (or at least it feels that way) seems to believe it’s descended from some significant royal or noble house in Europe.

I think it might come to non-white communities as well. I’ve been told my great-grandmother (Panamanian) was descended from royalty, which smacks a bit of Indian princess bullshit, and I had a girlfriend who would argue with me that her ancestors were descendents of the more landed gentry amongst the Haitian free blacks, and that going further back, various chiefs of African tribes.

Everyone wants to think their bloodline was special, nobody wants to think they’re descended from the muck-tossers.

 
 

You made my day!

 
 

“Silent” is especially impressive.

 
 

“People who indulge in autoerotic asphyxiation. With a webcam turned on.”

DEAR GOD we are talking about Ddaffllwyddllchgllffyddwlldd here. Do you really want to have video footage of a human-shaped blood sausage fucking a pastrami sandwich with a noose around his neck until he dies? Yeah, I know, Rule 34, but yeesh.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

But that’s too mechanistic for us, because we like to read stories about food and health and think, “If I was behaving better, I would be healthier”, or in effect, “If I promise to be a better person, I won’t have to die.”

These are the people I’m going to have some degree of satisfaction pissing on their graves 40-50 years from now. All you fucking would-be immortalists, this is how it’s going to go down. First you’re going to die. Then I’m going to pee on your grave.

Bookmark it, lib(ertarian)s.

 
 

Do you really want to have video footage of a human-shaped blood sausage fucking a pastrami sandwich with a noose around his neck until he dies?

I don’t know about you, but I would like to be sure he’s dead.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

I dunno, all I need to know is he’s buried.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Or cremated, I suppose. Though that’d be kind of unfair to the guy running the crematorium.

 
 

Everyone wants to think their bloodline was special, nobody wants to think they’re descended from the muck-tossers.

I am proud to say my direct paternal ancestor was thrown out of Belfast for being a troublemaker. He came to the US and enlisted in the army of the Union for the civil war, never fought a battle and lived off of a disabled veteran’s pension for the rest of his life.

Similarly, the first to come to America on my mother’s side was an well to do person, disowned by his parents and thrown out of Germany for marrying a catholic. While an educated man himself, his children could barely read. He became sheriff of a Wisconsin county. One day a letter arrived stating that his parents had died and that they were sending his inheritance to him and it would arrive at the port of New Orleans. He headed south and that was the last anyone ever heard of him. His wife and children were left to pay off the mortgage on the farm. (family rumors suggest he started shacking up with a prostitute in St Louis)

 
 

“Or cremated, I suppose. Though that’d be kind of unfair to the guy running the crematorium.”

The siege of Rochester Castle comes to mind.

 
 

Salt as a silent, constant killer is a paranoid delusion, but it’s a comforting one compared to the depressing reality of hypertension.

Salt intake is also attributed (and this has been conclusively shown) to a venticular hypertrophy which is a fara more dangerous indicator of cardiac disease, edema, and stomach cancer.

 
 

I just had to put salt on my lunch, and it came from the communal office salt shaker!

OMFG lieberal fascism!!eleven!

 
 

I’m going to regulate internet cat pictures. A cat picture posted without a witty caption is hereby punishable by death.

You’ll have to kill me eleventy-billion times!
.

 
 

nobody wants to think they’re descended from the muck-tossers.

I come from a long line of muck-tossers. Except for the occasional thieves, rogues and prostitutes.

 
 

OT: nobody could have possibly foreseen this:

Democrats have officially dropped their push for a small surtax on millionaires as one means of offsetting the cost of the bill. And it’s unclear what they got in return, aside from a pledge from Republicans not to jam Democrats with their partisan payroll tax bill.

It’s “unclear”? No, no it’s not. Just like every time, they got a hearty “fuck you, you fucking weak-kneed losers, fuck right off and die.”

And now that I think about it, that’s the same they get from me. Fucking Democrats! Grrr.

Nope, it’s definitely not the salt that makes my blood pressure go up.

 
 

You’ll have to kill me eleventy-billion times!

I may be willing to accept lobbying to change this rule to exempt pictures of cats named LarryElvis…

 
 

These are the people I’m going to have some degree of satisfaction pissing on their graves 40-50 years from now. All you fucking would-be immortalists, this is how it’s going to go down. First you’re going to die. Then I’m going to pee on your grave.

It’ll be even more satisfying if they do get uploaded into a mainframe, and you piss on that, with the resultant short circuit consigning them into oblivion.

“Urinary checkmate, motherfucker!”

 
 

I may be willing to accept lobbying to change this rule to exempt pictures of cats named LarryElvis…

Right sporting of you, squire. Thank you!
.

 
 

I may be willing to accept lobbying to change this rule to exempt pictures of cats named LarryElvis…

I dunno, I think JP should have to go back and caption every one of those pictures.

“HAI, I IZ WALL OF TABBY!”

 
 

Do you really want to have video footage of a human-shaped blood sausage fucking a pastrami sandwich with a noose around his neck until he dies?

I’ll be in my bunk.

 
 

A cat picture posted without a witty caption is hereby punishable by death.

What about babby pictures?

 
 

Do you really want to have video footage of a human-shaped blood sausage fucking a pastrami sandwich with a noose around his neck until he dies?

I’ll be in my bunk.

The defense rests, your honor.

 
 

“HAI, I IZ WALL OF TABBY!”

Har! Some of the nicer comments I’ve received lately have been in reference to my coinage of “GWOT,” or as the villagers know it, “Great Wall Of Tabby.”
.

 
 

I’ll be in my bunk.

I remember the fish-in-the-bunk scene from The Codfather.

 
 

Just imagine I made a “Great Wall of Babby” joke here.

 
 

What about babby pictures?

The babbies need to write their own captions.

 
 

Pookietronic’s captions are all like “nrt trdo047-93tyrqp]ß?íd,” which–while interesting–aren’t that funny.

 
 

I remember the fish-in-the-bunk scene from The Codfather.

The consquidliere put him there.

 
 

This simple truth also explains the Left’s obsession with the “cult of youth,” I believe.

Derbyshire is a communist??

 
 

Everyone wants to think their bloodline was special, nobody wants to think they’re descended from the muck-tossers.

My mother liked to believe there were some semi-royals in our Scottish ancestry. I always respond to the question with “all American mutt.”

 
 

Derbyshire is a communist??

Well, he probably wants to share his affections with lots of teenagers, so I guess that’s socialist, in a way.

 
 

What about babby pictures?

With or without witty captions?

Never mind, the penalty is the same for both: the babby’s owner is subjected to 17 straight hours of forced listening to Rebecca Black’s “Friday.”

 
 

I remember the fish-in-the-bunk scene from The Codfather.

A seahorse head?

 
 

I remember the fish-in-the-bunk scene from The Codfather.

I remember that scene.

 
 

Although, I can fully support babby pictures like this.

 
 

Salt intake is also attributed (and this has been conclusively shown) to a venticular hypertrophy which is a fara more dangerous indicator of cardiac disease, edema, and stomach cancer.

Gonna need a citation on that.

There was a fair bit of to-&-fro over recent years as to the effects, if any, of dietary salt on blood pressure. The ‘UK nurses’ study, one of the larger ones, found no effect at all. The emerging consensus seems to be that there is an effect but it’s much smaller than the first headlines back in the 70s — a combination of bad science and puritanism — would have one believe.

The most recent meta-analysis from the Cochrane Collaboration people is here.

This review set out to assess whether intensive support and encouragement to cut down on salt in foods reduced the risk of death or cardiovascular disease. This advice did reduce the amount of salt eaten which led to a small reduction in blood pressure by six months. There was not enough information to detect the expected effects on deaths and cardiovascular disease predicted by the blood pressure reductions found. There was limited evidence that dietary advice to reduce salt may increase deaths in people with heart failure. Our review does not mean that asking people to reduce salt should be stopped. People should continue to strive to do this. However, additional measures – reducing the amount of hidden salt in processed foods, for example – will make it much easier for people to stick to a lower salt diet.

 
 

Although, I can fully support babby pictures like this.

My son would rip up books way cuter than that.

 
 

Gonna need a citation on that.

It took me a moment, but I remember my cardiologist mentioning a UK study

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Don’t think I’m agreeing with Sandwich Boy, because I’m not—adding salt is easy, removing it is impossible, so why not accommodate as many people as you can? Oh, yeah—WOLVERINES111!!!!!11111

That said, one of the most annoying things about the anti-flavor puritans, to me, is the way they’ve got everybody whining about “sodium”, and have half the population thinking elemental sodium is a poison they have to avoid at all costs. No—among other things, without sodium to pump out (and potassium to ooze in to replace it) your nerve cells couldn’t work and you’d be a vegetable. (Hey, come to think of it….)

The FDA quotes Recommended Daily Allowances of sodium instead of salt, and manufacturers put “sodium” content on labels, because it’s easy to zap a small sample with a laser, put the resulting plasma through a mass spectrometer, and read off the abundance of every element. Actual chemical analysis costs money.

And no, sodium doesn’t raise your blood pressure. Sodium chloride may, if you’re one of the 1/4 to 1/2 (I see all sorts of figures) of the population whose blood pressure is sensitive to it. To find out, you need to have somebody take your blood pressure, then take a couple of salt pills, wait 20 minutes, and test it again. If your blood pressure spikes, then it’s sensitive to salt. Otherwise not. If it’s not, worrying about your salt intake, within very broad limits, is a waste of time.

I’m not a vegetarian, but I respect the ethical decision a lot of people have made that they don’t want to eat animals—well, until you get into PETA territory. I have no respect for them. But I want to scream at some of these anti-“sodium” crusaders: “It’s a fucking mineral, people! There is no moral or ethical dimension to it!” Seriously, leave the rest of the 3/4 to 11/12 (again, I see all sorts of figures) of us alone.

Disclaimer—BP higher than it should be, insensitive to salt. So that’s where I’m coming from.

 
 

I think they are so privileged and without real problems to bitch about that they are completely unaware how bitching about these “real problems” just makes it more clear how without real problems they are.

Of all the liberal blogs I’ve read, bloggers and commenters alike, Cerberus, I’ve never witnessed anyone as obsessed with conservatives as you. It’s kinda weird. Everything you write, it’s like you believe that all the world’s ills and all your problems are because of them.

Just a thought, you might want to try a little objectivity so as not to appear so blindly partisan that people don’t pay attention to you because they think you’re the howl-at-the-moon type.

Just some constructive feedback since you’re new to this place and new to blogging at the same time. I’m sure you’ll appreciate that.

 
 

The problem is that Americans are trained to recognize and respond to exactly three things: Salt, Sugar and Fat. Make a food product with an excess of at least 2 of these, and you’ve got a winner. Hit all three and you’ll sell a million of ’em. Doesn’t really matter what the underlying protein is: You could make boiled road-killed monkey ass with a sauce of brown sugar and butter sprinkled with pretzel-salt, and it would be Appleby’s next top-selling appetizer. If you can wean yourself off of these three things, all of a sudden you will start tasting subtle flavors from herbs, vegetables, and actual foods, rather than the things we do to overwhelm and hide them.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Oh, and on the subject of noble ancestors: My mother’s side was one of the Border Reiver clans that George McDonald Fraser wrote about in The Steel Bonnets, and the ending of my father’s Norwegian name denotes servitude—no way around that.

 
 

I remember my cardiologist mentioning a UK study
Thanks.
Actor’s link is to a 2003 report from a UK health committee, tasked with advising the UK government that “Government nutritional advice: More is needed”. On the subject of left ventricular hypertrophy it cites a 1995 German study.
There may well be more recent research. I don’t want to get into an argument with actor212’s cardiologist.

 
 

boiled road-killed monkey ass with a sauce of brown sugar and butter sprinkled with pretzel-salt

My recipe uses MOAR CHILLI.

 
 

Are monkeys actually susceptible to being made into roadkill? I thought they were smarter than that, generally.
.

 
 

boiled road-killed monkey ass with a sauce of brown sugar and butter sprinkled with pretzel-salt

Better deep-fry it, just to be sure.

 
 

Well, he probably wants to share his affections with lots of teenagers, so I guess that’s socialist, in a way.

From each according to her abilities, to him according to his needs.

 
 

I don’t know fuck-all about my ancestry beyond great grandparents and really don’t give a rats syphillated ass. Creepy attachment to and overinflated pride in one’s heritage is how cupchecks end up with names followed by III and IV. If you see that number attached to someone’s name, or if someone uses more than two names (hyphenated females excluded), then you should just go ahead and punch that person in the neck. You know you’re looking at a first class jackwagon.

 
 

In the matter of bad ancestors: there is a record in the UK record of bad persons that one of my ancestors arrived home from stealing things to find his house boarded up and the mayor standing on the doorstep with a one -way ticket to Canada which the village had clubbed together to get rid of him with.
Of such stock is the pioneer history of the world concocted

 
 

boiled road-killed monkey ass with a sauce of brown sugar and butter sprinkled with pretzel-salt

Unfortunately, I’m intrigued by the brown sugar/butter/pretzel salt combination. I’m going to die.

 
 

overinflated pride in one’s heritage

…The one reason I think we should send St. Patrick’s Day to the electric chair.

Also, persons who comment on their own comments are douchebags FUCKIN RULE DAWG.

 
 

In the matter of bad ancestors

My uncle was kidnapped from my grandparents by my great-grandmother so they had to follow her across the ocean to see him, and then my dad was born in Canada.

 
 

Heh–found a handy list of such 3 named people. I do find it strange that Sonja Sotomayor is on the list. By my count, that’s 2 names. Maybe there’s an invisible name in there.

I have taken the liberty of highlighting the supreme douches on the list.

•Sandra Day-O’Conner, US Supreme Court Judge
•John Paul Stevens, US Supreme Court Judge
•Sonja Sotomayor, US Supreme Court Nominee
•Jaquelyn Kennedy Onasis
•Andrew Lloyd Webber, writer of musicals, one = “Jesus Christ Superstar”
•Tommy Lee Jones, actor
•Daniel Day Lewis, actor
•Catherine Zeta-Jones, actress
•Billy Bob Thorton, actor
•Billy Ray Cyrus, country singer
•James Earl Jones, actor
•David Lee Roth (1980’s rocker)
•Charles Nelson Reilly, frequent 70’s game show celebrity, Match Game, Hollywood Squares, etc.)
•Sara Jessica Parker, actress
•Billie Jean King, 70’s tennis pro
•Sally Jesse Rafael, former daytime talk show host
•Doris Kerns Goodwin, historian, often on the Today’s Show / cable news shows
•Jada Pinket Smith, actress, starring in new TV medical drama
•Hillary Rodem Clinton, US Secretary of State
•Billy Jean King, former tennis champion
•Fiorence-Griffiths Joyner, US track and field champion
•Mary Chapin-Carpenter, country singer
•Mary Higgins-Clark, author
•Lyndon Bains Johnson, aka, LBJ, US President following JFK
•Lisa Marie Presley
•Lady Bird Johnson, former US First Lady
•Ruth Battor-Ginsmore(WTF?), current US Supreme Court Judge
•Mary Tyler-Moore, actress
•Martin Luther King, US Civil Rights leader
•Mama Cass Elliot, folk singer
•Jonathan Taylor Thomas, actor, “Home Improvement” w/ Tim Allen
•Arthur Conon Doyle, mystery writer
•John Paul Jones, US Navy founder
•Olivia Newton-John
•June Carter Cash
•Phyllis Reynolds Naylor (Newberry award winning author, “Shiloh” Trilogy)
•Shirley Temple Black
•Neil Patrick Harris (aka Doogie Howser)
•Mary Kay Place
•Mary Kate Olson
•Mary Kay Latourneau
•John Wilkes Booth
•John Wayne Gacy

•Mary Todd Lincoln
•Francis Ford Copolla
•Lou Diamond Phillips
•Anna Nicole Smith
•Anna Beth Gish
•Judy Norton Taylor ( aka “Mary Ellen Walton”)
•Jane Velez-Mitchell, HLN tabloid news show host
•Paul Michael Glasser, actor
•Margaret Wise Brown, children’s author, “Good Night Moon”
•Jaime Lynn Spears
•Nicole Brown-Smith
•Francis Scott Key
•Mary Stewart Masterson
•Courtney Thorne Smith
•James Earl Ray
•Jerry Lee Lewis
•Stevie Ray Vaughn
•Emmy Lou Harris
•Julia Louis-Dryfus
•David James Elliot, star of the TV series JAG
•Camilla Parker Bowls
•Tammy Faye Baker
•Jennifer Love Hewitt

•Linda Day George
•Lesley Ann Warren

 
 

Are monkeys actually susceptible to being made into roadkill? I thought they were smarter than that, generally.

No more intelligent that a four-year-old child, and they are fair enough candidates for roadkill.

 
 

You have to really TRY to hit the monkeys though.

 
 

Mary Louise Parker, rwwwr.
.

 
 

You have to really TRY to hit the monkeys though.

It gets harder as you go, trying to see through the poo splattered on the windshield. They’re athletic little fuckers with amazing throwing arms and the weird ability to shit at will.

 
 

Heh–found a handy list of such 3 named people. I do find it strange that Sonja Sotomayor is on the list. By my count, that’s 2 names. Maybe there’s an invisible name in there.

It’s a silent ” “.

 
 

the weird ability to shit at will.

Hey, what did I do?

 
 

Actually, it’s Puerto Rican thing to use a hyphenation of both parents’ last names, for both men and women, IIRC.

 
 

BTW, I see a number of Sadlies have not checked out my latest post, featuring Frosty abusing Santa.

 
 

RE: the list – ever notice how most serial killers have three names? Exceptions to the rule: Charles Manson, Ted Bundy.

 
 

You have to really TRY to hit the monkeys though.
It gets harder as you go, trying to see through the poo splattered on the windshield.

Best arcade game EVAH.

 
 

Heh–found a handy list of such 3 named people.

You missed:

John Charles Daly
Nat King Cole

 
 

You missed lots of three-namers, and by an amazing coincidence, they all have same middle name!

Jack The Ripper
John The Baptist
Winnie The Pooh
Ivan The Terrible
Peter The Great…

 
 

Our boy Jonah:

I first got the idea that Hitchens might be a man of the Right after watching him on C-Span discussing the Odyssey. He was on with, among others, Jody Bottum and a left-wing female academic who (at least as far as I remember it) had little to offer other than blah-blah-blah-white-males-blah-blah (I’m paraphrasing). Hitchens had no use for the woman and really had nothing to say to her. Meanwhile, he could have a real argument with Bottum because they could at least agree that the text matters and that indictments of the heterosexist norms of the Pale Penis People were not that interesting. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed to me that Hitch — who believed in the importance of Western Civilization (he said he’d rather defend Western Civilization than denounce John Ashcroft), gloried in the splendor of the Canon, admired other cultures but rejected utterly the asininity of multicultural leveling — was certainly not a man of the contemporary Left, or maybe not of the Left at all.

I no longer think Hitch was really a man of the Right, chiefly because you can’t be a man of the Right and reflexively, perhaps even childishly, reject the label.

But boy, did he ever give to that snooty bitch!

 
 

I no longer think Hitch was really a man of the Right

Even the left-wing Christopher Hitchens concedes that…

 
 

Hitchens had no use for the woman and really had nothing to say to her. Meanwhile, he could have a real argument with Bottum

??????

 
 

Heh–found a handy list of such 3 named people.

Some of those are maiden plus married, or two married names for Jackie O., probably more a press device than a real name. Also: Rodem?

 
 

Here is the place for Daffy: http://www.heartattackgrill.com/

 
 

I’m surprised they missed Lee Harvey Oswald.

 
 

Allow me to point out that one of the main reasons restaurant food often tastes better than what you cook at home is that restaurants use FAR more salt than most home cooks. Also way more fat.

And the better the restaurant, the more grease and salt we piled on.

 
 

Allow me to point out that one of the main reasons restaurant food often tastes better than what you cook at home is that restaurants use FAR more salt than most home cooks. Also way more fat.

And the better the restaurant, the more grease and salt we piled on.

That is because grease and salt are a delicious part of a complete breakfast.

I’m surprised they missed Lee Harvey Oswald.

Dude, are you blind? Right in the gut.

vacuumslayer Googles that for You said,
December 17, 2011 at 1:48

Hitchens had no use for the woman and really had nothing to say to her. Meanwhile, he could have a real argument with Bottum

??????

The wife enjoys the arguments with Bottum much more than I do, to be quite honest.

Best arcade game EVAH.

What, no giggling velociraptors?

 
 

Oh, wait, just so I’m clear, that’s not some kind of callow false-faced Actoresque boast, just a statement of varying personal tastes, it takes all kinds to make a world, etc.

To make up for it, here is a separate boast:

I am why this night is different from other nights. I changed the game; I am a game-changer. I love unleavened bread. Bitter herbs are my favorite. I am why, tonight, we only recline.

 
 

Again, salt is a matter of taste. I find that a lot of things that other people think taste just fine are too salty for me. I put it down to not eating fast food – if you eat it once a week or more, you’re not going to notice how salty it is; if you eat it at most 3 or 4 times a year, you’re going to notice it right off. I don’t care if other people want to drown their food in salt, but to me, it makes it unappetizing or inedible. It’s not a moral stance; it’s a personal taste preference. And you can always add more if it’s not salty enough for you.

 
 

Now, I don’t claim to speak for cooks worldwide, but I don’t use a whole lot of salt. Rarely more than a healthy pinch, even when I’m making 15 cups of jambalaya or a couple quarts of gumbo. Usually I add it when I’m sautéing the veggies, along with the pepper and Tony Charchere’s. Should the concoction need more seasoning, I just use the Tony’s. And for what it’s worth, I only use Kosher salt, never table salt. Sea salt usually works just as well, and I’ve no good reason to use Kosher salt instead, I just do.

I do this for two reasons. One, while I personally like things to be a tad salty, it’s way too easy to overdo things with salt. Two, not everyone likes salt like I do, so I figure if something needs a bit more salt, it’s probably at the “just right” stage for most other folks. Finally, there’s goddamn salt shakers on the goddamn table.

Also, I’ve never in my career have someone complain that something wasn’t salty enough. I don’t know what I’d do nor what I’d say if someone made that complaint. I imagine, if nothing else, my language would be quite salty.

 
 

The problem is that Americans are trained to recognize and respond to exactly three things: Salt, Sugar and Fat.

Even by the usual standards of American exceptionalism, that’s a dumb statement (given things like dubbel zout licorice, schmaltz– yes, there’s actually a foodstuff by that name– and jalebis, to name but a few things that hit those buttons…).

 
 

I can only eat at higher end restaurants, partially due to the salt thing. I went to a McDonalds a year or two back, after a several year interval since my previous visit, and had the same experience as before. The experience was I couldn’t eat the damn burger, it was way too salty.

 
herr doktor bimler
 

Looking at the photograph of Dafydd, I am led to wonder about the freak concatenation of events that caused him to lose his chin, in circumstances where the only available surgical replacement was a dog’s bollocks.

 
 

herr doktor bimler said,

What year is it?

 
 

schmaltz– yes, there’s actually a foodstuff by that name

I believe it’s rendered chicken fat, used in traditional Kosher cooking.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

I have a very high tolerance for salt, and I’m not a moron—I know you have to put salt in things like ice cream or chocolates or they’ll be tasteless and insipid. That being said: What the hell is up with Reese’s peanut butter cups? Fuck, people—it’s candy! You put about 10 times the amount of salt in the peanut butter part than you should!

 
 

I believe it’s rendered chicken fat, used in traditional Kosher cooking.

You believe correctly regarding the content, but it’s a cultural rather than Kosher food: it’s the Slavic peasant-who-can’t-afford-a-cow* substitute for butter. My Trotskyite grandmother never stopped using it in the 70 years after she emigrated.

*My grandparents, for example.

 
 

Even by the usual standards of American exceptionalism, that’s a dumb statement (given things like dubbel zout licorice, schmaltz– yes, there’s actually a foodstuff by that name– and jalebis, to name but a few things that hit those buttons…).

Yeah, that’s why there’s a fast-food restaurant packed with customers on every corner in America at lunchtime with dubbel zout milkshakes and–jalebis, was it?–flying out the door.

 
 

While I’m on this topic, and per the discussion above, at least six of my eight great-grandparents were born as serfs. I’m quite proud of their accomplishments and their kids’ accomplishments in making it possible for me to live to fall out of the American middle class.

 
 

I don’t use a lot of salt when cooking and I find restaurant food to be pretty salty.

On the rare occasion when I’m forced to eat at a chain restaurant, I find the food to be exceedingly salty.

 
 

I use lotta sheet ghoul.

 
 

Iced Devilkin with Barbecued Vegetable

Ingredients:
1 devilkin, owlishly swirled
1 vegetable
7 ounces political soya milk
6 pinches sun beast toe, trustingly glazed
1 jar thyme
1 teaspoon salt

Begin praying. Place the devilkin into a large bowl. Use a food processor to mix the soya milk with the vegetable. Slather resulting potion over the devilkin. Char – very comprehensibly – the sun beast toe, thyme, and the salt. Knead everything together. Fry in hawk oil for 96 minutes. Serves 15.

 
 

Poor white trash in the house! Who wants to party?!

 
 

Oh, COME ON. I brought pork rinds–enough for everyone!

 
 

Actually, it’s Puerto Rican thing to use a hyphenation of both parents’ last names, for both men and women, IIRC.

In Colombia too. If you don’t have two last names people assume you are a bastard child. Boy, I’m on a theme tonight!

 
 

Vs — did you bring tater tots?

 
 

I WANT TATER TOTS!

I’ll add my own salt, or not, gotdamnit.
.

 
 

Tator Tots–dur! And processed cheese dip. I AM A CLASSY LADY.

 
 

I like a baked tater tot — and Hunt’s ketchup. Fuck that Heinz shit.
.

 
 

I LOVE LOVE LOVE that garage punk. Best music EVER, and that’s a fucking screamer you’re playing in that video. Much impressed.

Dude was a good front man, I’ll give him that.

And it was an education on tactics on the blunting of the idiot in chief (as it were), which has served me reasonably well over the years (though I might have thought to blunt my own ass on occasion). Mainly I wanted to Rock, whilst serving to buffer his ass from my friend who iirc left after the 22nd Bass player.

I was thinking about going into a jag about frustrated musicians (drummers who want to play guitar/ bassists who wish to drum, the needattentionwairhousesof frontmen/ladies).

Anyway, thanks tsam

I should get off of my ass and start writing the damn thing. If I have not started blogwhoring the project by mid January please feel free to call my ass out.
almost forgot tsam you might like
this also, too.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

I gotta admit—’Tater Tots (or better yet ‘Tater Bars) are kind of a guilty pleasure of mine. I mean: potatos, deep fried in grease—what’s not to like?

And fuck you, spell-check and Dan Quayle—there is no “e” in “potato”, singular or plural! Pot-‘o-toes, indeed!

 
jim, examiner of kernings
 

“Not a deadly poison” probably never gave much comfort to the many who snuffed if while trying to stay alive on seawater.

Just sayin’.

Who wants to party?!

*whips out primo weed & jumbo bag of Doritos*

*actually is full of shit & just typing that on the Interwebs instead because he has neither weed nor Doritos as well as having to be at work in 4 hours*

Par Fuckin’ TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! W00000000T!

 
 

I mean: potatos, deep fried in grease—what’s not to like?

Well, I’ll take mine baked, thanks.

The last deep-fried treat I had were some Sonic onion rings, which are pretty damned tasty, but these must have been rushed from the fryer into the bag directly to me, as the first one burned the ever-lovin’ fuck out of my mouth. I mean lawsuit-level burn.
.

 
 

SALTED GALT!!!!!!

fuckin’ good night
.

 
 

The bag of salted dicks is the ne plus ultra of any discussion of salted foods.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

The bag of salted dicks is the ne plus ultra of any discussion of salted foods.

Well, there’s spotted dick, but I wouldn’t put too much salt on it.

 
 

Salted dicks belong in vacuum-sealed cans IMO.

 
 

The fact is, most liberals are gay fagots who want to force us all to love black people and be lazy. Also, socialests.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Thanks for the warning, Gary! Gay “fagots”—I had no idea! That’s the worst kind for sure!

Seriously, this is just sad.

 
 

The fact is, most liberals are gay fagots who want to force us all to love black people and be lazy. Also, socialests.

They want to force spotted dick down your throat!

 
 

fagot? That sounds French. Is Gary suggesting liberals are gay *and* French? SOCCER BLUE!

 
 

Aaand, thank you Gary.

Une, that was pretty cool. You still play? What style? Was that P-bass a genuine Fender? Still have it?

I have a cheap mid-80s Fender knock-off made by Yamaha. I put a set of flatwounds on it and everybody who plays it loves it. Me too.

 
 

Poor stupid, little flabby, fella. It’s hard to be him.

As a compassionate liberal, I’d like to suggest something that might represent an actual hardship for a deep thinker such as himself so that he might gain a little perspective on the difference between lifting a shaker of salt and sprinkling said salt on food and being seriously put out:

Have someone blindfold you and drop you off in the fourth ward in Houston, Texas with no phone and no money— nothing but the clothes on your wide-assed back.

I’ve done this myself, sans blindfold, and it wasn’t a hardship, at all. In fact, I met quite a few interesting people. For this moron, however, it might be just a little bit harder than salting his food; which is why he should try it to help himself so that he can see the difference between having to do something that is, in fact, just a little easier than it must be to wipe his own ass, and being totally inconvenienced.

 
 

The fact is, this vacuum-sealed can of spotted dick i have right here already has salt.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

Are monkeys actually susceptible to being made into roadkill?
You can hit anything with a car if you drive fast enough. It’s my hope and dream that one day, someone will manage to turn a blue whale into roadkill.

 
 

Back to the original topic- the sandwich photoshop is spot on- nary a vegetable to interfere with the sodium packed, reconstituted meat product (Steak-ummms, anyone?).

I think the aversion to vegetables will kill them long before the sodium does.

 
 

I think the aversion to vegetables will kill them long before the sodium does.

Regular bowel movements scare them. The work of the devil to poop a sinker.

 
 

Oh, wait, just so I’m clear, that’s not some kind of callow false-faced Actoresque boast,

Dude, really?

You whine your prissy little ass off at me for making an oblique reference to the situation and then you slam me with this?

Better check that log in your eye at the door, son.

 
 

Each of my mom’s recipes has what I call the pro-forma half tsp of salt. I routinely leave it out. I have never noticed a difference in the taste of the end product.

As for royal ancestors, not me. My people (on my dad’s side anyway) were barely civilized near-savages, leavened with a smattering of Viking rapists who were eventually evicted from their barely arable rock off the coast of Scotland and transported to a new barely arable rock off the coast of North America.

I did hear something on the radio some years ago, though, to the effect that something like 90% of Ireland is descended from one guy: King Niall of the Nine Hostages, who apparently should have been called King Niall of Scoring Major Tail.

 
 

Whiskey Charlie, Interesting question leading to an interesting story. The Bass in question is actually a Peavy P-Bass knockoff Which I no longer possess as it never belonged to me.

Ya see there was a gig with a one-off band in Detroit following a requisite couple of days rehearsal in Kalamazoo (Resulting from the fact that of the five of us, only two of the five had actually played together previously)

Long story short…At the gig Another Bass Player has the exact same case as I do…Mistakes were made…Basses were exchanged…And as we were both members of the lower leisure class, it took somewhere between six months and a Year to sort it out.

I got the better end of the deal actually, his being a nicer guitar, though I did improve the action and intonation, so it did return a finer instrument when the exchange finally occurred.

I do love flatwound strings when I have had the chance to play with them and have contemplated many times their purchase, yet it almost always seems that when strings need (absolutely need) to be replaced that invariably I have not the extra 15 bucks at hand.

I’m sure there was a point in there somewhere.

Currently inactive though in talks with one of my favorite guitar players about assembling a trio…Finding a proper Drummer is holding up that effort…Favorite rig is a J-bass…Love the contour of the body and the width of the neck at the nut.

Metronomiclese was the name of the first ancient Greek Bass player.

Also, too: The Gorge also Rises? Band name or title of first novel?
.

 
 

OBS,

Thanks for the register link, It gave me the chance to catch up on the BOFH archives…The insuing laughter scared yet another cat.
.

 
 

The bag of salted dicks is the ne plus ultra of any discussion of salted foods.

I bet salt and vinegar dicks would be better. Cyanide and vinegar dicks would be indistinguishable, so that would be OK, too.

 
 

Real merkins eat cheddar and onion flavored dicks.

 
 

What about Cock-flavored soup?

 
 

Or cock-a-leekie, for that incontinental flavo(u)r.

 
 

I flew Incontinental Airlines once.

Once.

 
 

Real merkins eat cheddar and onion flavored dicks.

With bacon-flavored mayo.

 
 

After eating bacon-flavored Mayo, you can get your EKG at the Bacon-Flavored Mayo Clinic.

 
 

Why do these buffoons always hate capitalism? A successful restauranteur presumably caters to her customers. If they don’t like the food, the customers will go elsewhere. Freedom!

 
 

The invisible hand is holding an invisible salt shaker.

 
 

I WANDER’D lonely as a clod
That salts on high his fast food meal,
When all by myself I am a crowd,
A host of one named Dafyddil;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Huffing and wheezing in the breeze.

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In Cheeto dust and tedium,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of sodium;
And then my heart with preasure fills,
And explodes the chest of Dafyddil’s.

 
 

Just btw, Mark Kurlansky’s Salt: A World History is an interesting read.

 
 

With bacon-flavored mayo.

Baconaise! And so much more. Unfortunately the bacon frosting is out of stock, but you can still get some Tactical Canned Bacon.

 
 

Bacon you say? Just bought a pork belly side yesterday, half is curing as pancetta and did this with the bigger half. Going to an oyster roast/fish fry tonight that might need some pork.

 
 

Thread Bear: that poem was a thing of beauty.

And in honor of this thread I ate a bunch of tater tots with extra salt last night.

 
 

Also, too, plus: Sodium!

 
 

All this bacon talk and me with a package of thick-sliced bacon in the freezer…

Bacon sammies for lunch, methinks.

 
Privatize the Profits! Socialize the Costs!
 

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/02/opinion/02tue4.html

100 Years Later, the Food Industry Is Still ‘The Jungle’

By ADAM COHEN
NYT, January 2, 2007

Nothing in “The Jungle” sticks with the reader quite like what went into the sausages. There was the rotting ham that could no longer be sold as ham. There were the rat droppings, rat poison and whole poisoned rats. Most chilling, there were the unnamed things “in comparison with which a poisoned rat was a tidbit.”

Upton Sinclair wrote “The Jungle” as a labor exposé. He hoped that the book, which was billed as “the ‘Uncle Tom’s Cabin’ of wage slavery,” would lead to improvements for the people to whom he dedicated it, “the workingmen of America.” But readers of “The Jungle” were less appalled by Sinclair’s accounts of horrific working conditions than by what they learned about their food. “I aimed at the public’s heart,” he famously declared, “and by accident I hit it in the stomach.”

“The Jungle,” and the campaign that Sinclair waged after its publication, led directly to passage of a landmark federal food safety law, which took effect 100 years ago this week. Sinclair awakened a nation not just to the dangers in the food supply, but to the central role government has to play in keeping it safe. But as the poisonings of spinach eaters and Taco Bell customers recently made clear, the battle is far from over — and in recent years, we have been moving in the wrong direction.

When “The Jungle” was published, the public reaction was instantaneous. Outraged readers deluged President Theodore Roosevelt with letters. Roosevelt was ambivalent, but he invited Sinclair to the White House for lunch, and promised to send his labor commissioner and assistant Treasury secretary to Chicago to investigate.

Sinclair settled into a New York City hotel and started a publicity campaign. He wrote articles with titles like “Campaign Against the Wholesale Poisoners of the Nation’s Food,” and released more stomach-churning details. Armour made its potted hams, he charged, by taking nubs of smoked beef, “moldy and full of maggots,” and grinding them with ham trimmings. In a newspaper letter to the editor, he dared J. Ogden Armour, the meatpacking magnate, to sue for libel.

Sinclair suspected Roosevelt’s team would do a whitewash. But its report strongly reinforced the allegations of “The Jungle.” It included an array of Sinclarian images, like workers using privies without soap or toilet paper and returning “directly from these places to plunge their unwashed hands into the meat.” Popular outrage continued to grow, and the momentum for reform became unstoppable.

As a result of Sinclair’s crusade, Congress passed the Food and Drug Act, which had been effectively blocked by industry. At the start of 1907, it became a federal crime to sell adulterated food or drugs, and the new law set up a system of federal inspections. Food had to be labeled, and it was illegal to misstate the contents. Future laws would expand on this newly declared government responsibility to ensure the safety of the nation’s food supply.

In recent years, the momentum has shifted. Since the Reagan era, conservatives have tried to turn “government regulation” into an epithet. Books like “The Death of Common Sense,” a 1990’s best-seller, have twisted the facts to argue that laws like a New York ordinance requiring restaurants to clean dishes in a way that kills salmonella are somehow an infringement on liberty.

Food safety has been particularly hard-hit by this anti-regulatory climate. Harmful bacteria are rampant in meatpacking plants and in produce fields, but government oversight is eroding. The Bush administration has slashed the number of Food and Drug Administration inspectors, and it has installed a former lobbyist for the cattle industry as the Agriculture Department’s chief of staff.

But this is an unusually promising moment for food safety. Wide media attention was given to last fall’s spinach contamination, which killed three and injured more than 200 in 26 states, and to the Taco Bell food poisonings, which made dozens of people ill. And Democrats have recaptured Congress, which should hold hearings to get to the bottom of those recent food disasters and to explore what the next ones are likely to be. It should push for larger budgets for food inspections and, as one Democratic-sponsored bill calls for, create a single federal agency with responsibility for food safety.

The powerful meat and produce industries can be counted on to call on their allies in Congress and the White House for help in resisting. That would come as no surprise to Sinclair, who was already complaining loudly in 1906 that Armour & Co. had contributed $50,000 to the Republican Party, and that the meatpackers had hired a prominent government official “as confidential adviser as to federal inspection problems.”

The answer, Sinclair believed, was always the same: providing the American people with the gritty truth that they needed to protect themselves. “The source and fountain-head of genuine reform in this matter,” Sinclair insisted, “is an enlightened public opinion.”

 
jim, examiner of kernings
 

Keen sextets up there.

 
 

you whine your prissy little ass off at me for making an oblique reference to the situation and then you slam me with this?

Better check that log in your eye at the door, son.

In point of fact, I whined my prissy little ass off (as you describe a single exasperated post about your launching a thread with a joke about how no one appreciated your hilarious insight “tl, dr”; but it’s hardly for me to dispute ‘prissy’) about your clogging up every other Sadly thread I have seen or the past week with slow-boil displays of self-love on a level that continues to surprise and disgust me.

If you read this particular post a little more carefully, you’d have noticed that in the one before I said something that could be mistaken for a tedious boast about how great I am at hetero anal and wanted to assure the audience I wasn’t the sort of guy that would barge into a thread assuring prissy, whining lady-girls that I totes understand objectification because my 50-something milkshake brings all the gay boys to the yard.

~=reading comprehension=~

 
 

Speaking of overseasoning, I have had HORRIBLE luck making leafy greens without over-salting them. I usually just use a generous pinch of Kosher or measure out a 1/2 tsp. to a 1tsp. of salt for dishes meant to serve 4-6 people. Adding that much salt to a bunch of greens basically makes them inedible. Last night, I tried using 1/4 tsp. of salt to season a bundle of beet greens. Turned out nicely, but I’d probably use even less next time. Salting something is easy; removing salt is impossible.

I guess the shorter VS is: Be extraordinarily conservative when salting greens.

 
 

Mmmmm, bacon.

 
 

I sauteed the greens in bacon fat if that counts for anything.

 
 

I wonder if the bacon is adding some salt to the greens already.

 
 

Well, yeah, but enough to account for the heinous oversalting I’m normally guilty of, bacon fat or no.

 
 

Fun factoid: If you can add potato to whatever you’ve oversalted, it’ll reduce the saltiness of the overall stew/soup/etc.

 
 

Thread Bear: I WANDER’D lonely as a clod…

oh that made my morning great, wotta laff, thanx!

 
 

If you read this particular post a little more carefully, you’d have noticed that in the one before I said something that could be mistaken for a tedious boast about how great I am at hetero anal and wanted to assure the audience I wasn’t the sort of guy that would barge into a thread assuring prissy, whining lady-girls that I totes understand objectification because my 50-something milkshake brings all the gay boys to the yard.

So basically, you’re a fucking hypocrite.

And your syntax and grammar is atrocious.

 
 

And your syntax and grammar is atrocious.

Plese do teach Surr as gladly wolde I lerne.

So basically, you’re a fucking hypocrite.

~=principles=~

 
 

In other words, IOKIYAR

Got it.

 
 

In other words, IOKIYAR

1. iokiyar 660 up, 39 down
It’s okay if you’re a republican
remember all that bullshit that they tried to impeach and remove Clinton f-

IOKIYAR
buy iokiyar mugs & shirts
by paul krugman, motherfucker Jan 7, 2005 share this add a video

I know my parents have trouble sometimes, so I’m really proud of you for being able to use the Internet and everything. God knows you’re even older, and they’re getting up there.

 
 

See, it’s about ideological purity with you.

Must be tough typing under that white hood.

So tell me something, Colonel, how many drops of mixed blood before you turn all Black Irish and shit?

BEEG SHMILE! BEEG SHMILE!

 
 

Oh? You needed to look up IOKYIAR?

Oh, dear. I’m sorry…I forgot I was dealing with an idiot.

 
 

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