Do You Know Who Else Gave His Dog A Foreign Name?

Shorter James G. Wiles,* The American Genius:
Chelsea Clinton’s Baggage. No, Not Them.

    • Did you know that the elitist bitch Chelsea Clinton named her dog after a foreign philosopher?

  • ‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


    *Mr. Wiles, when not littering the wingnut-o-sphere with his deep thoughts, appears to spend his time filing legal documents for clients notwithstanding that he has been disbarred, something which rather annoyed this judge.

     

    Comments: 863

     
     
     

    I have a parakeet named Bismarck. God, I hate to think what that says about me.

     
     

    That’s right. Søren.

    Not exactly First Dog Buddy, is it? Or Socks the Cat?

    And look at that ‘o’! Who puts a line through an ‘o’? Are you trying to ban it? English first!

     
     

    I had a cockatiel named Ophelia, but in my defense she was nuts.

     
     

    The best I can manage is a white cat named “Banquo,” but Mrs__B once vied in a house with a wolf named “Wolf.”

     
     

    “God is not like a human being; it is not important for God to have visible evidence so that he can see if his cause has been victorious or not; he sees in secret just as well. Moreover, it is so far from being the case that you should help God to learn anew that it is rather he who will help you to learn anew, so that you are weaned from the worldly point of view that insists on visible evidence… A decision in the external sphere is what Christianity does not want…rather it wants to test the individual’s faith.”

    OMG KKKHELSEA IDOLISES A SECULAR HUMANIST ANTI-CHRISTIAN BIGGET

     
     

    Our cat, Puffmanbashi, was named for Saparmurat Niyazov. Because cats are despotic dictators.

     
     

    This from the people who worship the Russian Ayn Rand and the Austrian Hayek?

     
     

    Hurm–both my adopted parrots were named after black folks (Patrick for Patrick Ewing; Mookie for Spike Lee.) I suppose the fact that they resolutely refuse to be called anything else makes me a sekret Muslin socialist and all…

     
     

    Is there any point to the American Thinker piece outside of spite? The Times publishes a puff piece, this guy can’t just roll his eyes like the rest of us?

     
     

    So, if I understand this piece, he’s complaining about someone having a lot of money and family connections?

    Irony isn’t just dead. It’s been staked through the heart, beheaded, burned and had it’s ashes scattered to the four winds.

     
     

    Just because I want play…my pets’ names:

    Angus
    Budge
    Lily
    Cotton
    Pippi

    Budge is famous 17th century philosopher, no?

     
     

    You’d think a right-winger would appreciate Kierkegaard’s work.

    Or at least spell his name correctly.

     
     

    Søren Aabye Kierkegaard (English pronunciation: /?s?r?n ?k??rk???rd/ or /?k??rk???r/; Danish: [?s???n ?ki??g?????] ( listen)) (5 May 1813 –11 November 1855) was a Danish philosopher, theologian and religious author. He was a critic of idealist intellectuals and philosophers of his time, such as Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, Friedrich Wilhelm Joseph Schelling and Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel*. He was also critical of the state and practice of Christianity in his lifetime, primarily that of the Church of Denmark. He is widely considered to be the first existentialist.[4]

    Much of his philosophical work deals with the issues of how one lives as a “single individual”, giving priority to concrete human reality over abstract thinking, and highlighting the importance of personal choice and commitment.[5](emphasis added)

    * Those are all cricketers.

     
     

    A miniature Yorkie? Given that a standard Yorkie tops out at 7 pounds, a miniature one must be really, really tiny.

     
     

    Clerk: Are all your pets called Eric?

    Praline: There’s nothing so odd about that. Kemel Attaturk had an entire menagerie called Abdul.

     
     

    Immanuel Kant was a really pissant*. Who was very rarely stable.

    *VFormicidaeR

     
     

    Major Kong, that’s one of my favorite all time books. But you need a black cat or it just doesn’t fit.

    My pets have been named:
    Frank (female, named by the little boys I bought her from for a penny when I was 5)
    Cinder (black cat)
    Roscoe
    Ella Fitzgerald (another black cat – who could really wail)
    Hairy (another female, named by the little boy next door)
    Gabby (who defected from a house two doors down & had already been named)
    Eartha Cat (my current baby)

     
     

    Heidigger, Heidigger was a boozy beggar
    Who could drink you under the table

     
     

    As reported in Mark Halperin’s and John Heilemann’s Game Change, Bill and Hillary Clinton’s political careers have been fueled over the years by significant donations from the Indian-American business community. These links have sometimes been controversial. In 2008, Halperin and Heilemann write, Barack Obama vetoed an effort by his staff to make those connections an issue in the primary battle with Hillary.

    Could’ve just written “Bill and Hillary Clinton’s political careers have been fueled over the years by significant donations from the business community,” much like, well, every other politician in the country. Why the concern about the Indian-American business community specifically? Why is it controversial? Why would anyone make it a primary issue except as part of the larger issue of businessmen in general bankrolling politicians in general?

    Wait. Wait.

    Are Indians white?

    Oh. Okay, that explains it.

     
     

    Hairy (another female, named by the little boy next door)

    Heh heh. Jennifer had a Hairy pussy….heh heh.

    What? SOMEone had to go there!

     
     

    David Hume could outconsume William Fredrich Hegel

     
     

    Our current cat is officially named Patches but also goes by:

    Pook
    Pookie
    Pookie-cat
    Squeak
    Squeaker (she sometimes makes a noise like a squeaky toy)
    Furball

    and when she’s in trouble:

    “Caaaaaaat!!!!”

     
     

    Whacking the cat.

     
     

    My kitteh was named Willy.

     
     

    Artemis Max Brindleherimer. I just started calling her Max when it became apparent that Artemis did not describe her, at all. When people shrunk in horror at her brindle markings I had to point out to them that they were scaring my dog.

    The human dog symbiosis is powerful and particularly human for most of us. They’re like smart little kids that never grow up, unlike conservatives— they just never grow up. Seriously, what kind of person bitches about something a person names their dog and puts that in writing? Lately, I’ve been kinda wishing that petty grievances could kill in large doses over a long period of time.

     
     

    Are Indians white?

    As a matter of federal case law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_v._Bhagat_Singh_Thind), no. According to the old school “scientific” racial classifications, yes.

     
     

    To get into the game, I have had two cats with “foreign” names. They were Wesa and Kacha. Of course the speakers of those languages (Cherokee and Muskogee) would argue that English is the foreign language.

     
     

    Back in the heyday of the NYT forums (circa 2002), there was a proto-teabagger christianoid who was convinced that all modern thought had been corrupted by Kierkegaard and Kant and was forever going after them. It was simply one facet of the splendiferous mass of insanity and annoyance he dumped into the forum, but it stuck in my head.

     
     

    I named my cat Hippolyta, so I must be a man-hating warrior-queen (fascinating since I am otherwise none of those things) and admire Greek and/or English literature. Or something.
    And what do they have against Kierkegaard? He’s white, Christian, and male, so he should be someone they like. I guess they only like foreigners who have easy-to-spell names and felliate Americans.

     
     

    Oh, please, if you want to do the sneer-at-the-spawn game, wingnuts, bring it on. Need we say more than “Bristol Palin”?

     
     

    Back in the heyday of the NYT forums (circa 2002), there was a proto-teabagger christianoid

    Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, as I recall, his initials were RD….

     
     

    And what do they have against Kierkegaard? He’s white, Christian, and male, so he should be someone they like.

    Soren should have anticipated this and changed his name to something easy like “Kirk.” Then they’d be lined up behind him.

     
     

    Pet names. We’ve got two cats: Upgrayedd and Brawndo.

    Somehow the cultural place where both get their names reminds me of the types who write for the American Thinker. Somehow.

     
     

    I hear Chelsea and her husband eat strange foreign foods. I hear their lunch was prepared by an Italian chef named Boyardee and snack on something obviously snuck over the border from Mexico – exotic Tostitos.

     
     

    A sheltie named Edger for the Mariner DH Edgar Martinez
    A sheltie named Jedi
    A eskie named Kayliegh for the girl on firefly

    All this says is my family watches way too much tv

     
     

    Miniature Dachshund: Julie (belonged to the Missus before we got hitched)
    Cats: Hep, Dido, Chloe

    I have no idea what that says about me, except that Dido was named for the Purcell opera (when we first got her, she’d lament all the time).

    WF

     
     

    Don’t know why that repeated on my end.

    FYWP

    WF

     
     

    our black lab was named ‘hootie’ and our current springer/lab is named ‘luci’…more commonly known as ‘freakshow’…

     
     

    Don’t know why that repeated on my end.

    FYWP

    Asked AND answered! Nicely done

     
     

    My parents have a house in the woods, and when I was in high school, my mom bought got a cat from a vet (presumably from a box labeled “got a kitten, leave a kitten, need a kitten, take a kitten”.) She told me that I now had a cat. This was a flag of convenience, so to speak. I did get to name her cat though, and I named it Kzin after the feline aliens in some of Larry Niven’s novels.

     
     


    For its reporting, the Times appears to have relied on a network of close Chelsea pals and Team Clinton sycophants.

    geez…what a st00pid way to do reporting, amirite?!?!?

     
     

    All my pets have been named after Biblical or Star Wars figures.

    Except for my goldfish, Patton.

     
     

    And René Descartes was a drunken fart: “I drink therefore I am.”

    My cat is named Crafty, after H.P. Lovecraft.

     
     

    ha, ha…when we were little, my dad brought home two black mutt puppies…my little brothers, who were probably 5 and 6 at the time named them ‘blacky’ and ‘waggy tail’…my dad always referred to them as ‘deaf’ and ‘dumb’…we loved the dogs until we came home one day to the great duckling and chick massacre of ’75…those dogs were good at burrowing…

     
     

    we loved the dogs until we came home one day to the great duckling and chick massacre of ’75

    Sired by Jerry Sandusky’s lab, no doubt.

     
     

    also, too…wow…chelsea is a fucking monster!!!

     
     

    i also noticed this piece has a *subtle* ‘sins of the parents’ kind of vibe going for it…in wingnuttia, wouldn’t it be written as, ‘hey, these kids can’t help it if their parents are wealthy!!! and if the parents had some unsavory friends/business partners, wouldn’t it be ‘hey…they DID NOT KNOW so and so was a bad person…you liebrals are just trying to smear them…waaaaah!!!!’

     
     

    Shorter incredidouche:

    OH MY GOD I HATE THEM SO MUCH!!!

     
     

    geez…what a st00pid way to do reporting, amirite?!?!?

    Yeah–I much prefer sourcing that involves political enemies, jilted exes and anonymous people who will confirm that Vince Foster was Chelsea’s first kill.

     
     

    Ug, got out of the boat, what a steaming pile of spite and innuendo. Breaking News! President’s daughter has rich and powerful friends with good connections! Film at 11!

    Big hairy fucking deal.

     
     

    And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel

     
     

    There’s nothing Nietzsche couldn’t teach ye ’bout the raising of the wrist.

     
     

    Also hilarious:

    SuperJimmy got sanctioned in the amount of $500 after losing his case. Angry judge was angry.

    On August 10, 2005, the Court ordered Mr. Wiles to show cause why he should not be
    sanctioned for filing legal documents while suspended from the practice of law in this District.
    Mr. Wiles had until August 15, 2005 to respond to the Court’s order. To date, Mr. Wiles has
    neither submitted a response nor even contacted the Court with regard to this matter. I conclude
    that Mr. Wiles has flagrantly disregarded my order and, accordingly, I sanction him in the
    amount of $500.00.

     
     

    I had a cockatiel named Ophelia,

    You name your cocktails, tigris?

     
     

    The Times reports that Chelsea’s husband, “Mr. [Mark] Mezvinsky, a former Goldman Sachs banker, will soon start a hedge fund with a friend.” It also says that Chelsea herself left a job with a hedge fund. According to Wikipedia, that hedge fund was Avenue Capital Group. It has $20 billion under management, making it the 13th-largest hedge fund in the world. It specializes in distressed securities and private equity, with offices worldwide and 350 employees.

    Avenue Capital was started by a brother-and-sister team of Moroccan immigrants named Marc and Sonia Masry. On March 3, 2010, Forbes listed Marc Masry in a piece titled “The World’s Billionaires.”

    So Chelsea Clinton and her husband are obviously no strangers to finance. In fact, they’re about to go into that business themselves. Take that, #OWS!

    Read more: http://www.americanthinker.com/2011/12/chelsea_clintons_baggage_no_not_them.html#ixzz1fgIm9nP9

    Take that, OWS? I had no idea the OWS supporters were counting on the Clintons to the movement’s saviors. In fact, I’m pretty sure a great number of OWS supporters have complained of the monied elite and finance folks having too much of a say in politics. Did this assmonkey read something different elsewhere?

     
     

    Ug, got out of the boat, what a steaming pile of spite and innuendo. Breaking News! President’s daughter has rich and powerful friends with good connections! Film at 11!

    Yes, Chelsea Clinton leads a life of wealth and privilege. I’m SHOCKED. SHOCKED, I tell you!!! That’s SO unlike most of the sons and daughters of leaders of the free world.

    I BET BARBARA AND JENNA ATE AT THE SALAD BAR AT APPLEBEES!

     
     

    Socrates himself was permanently pissed!

     
     

    okay, i just could not decide which comment over there was my fave…so much crazy, so little time…so, since there are only 7 of them, here they are in all their glory:

    Yet another indictment of the high cost of the combination of political corruption and the limited intelligence and curiosity of the American voting public. The incumbent re-election rate of about 90% gives the USA the deeply entrenched crony capitalism that defines the relationship of government, Big Academia, the jourOlist media and the lobbyists. It does not matter that her name is Chelsea Clinton, it affects nearly all “public servants” and their elite offspring. Little wonder Obama saw no irony in his recent comment that whatever happens to the country, Sasha and Malia are going to do just fine.
    ***

    From what I could glean from a cursory reading of the article, Chelsea is no different from any other well connected child of a family that is one of the elite class. She is given cushy positions at well heeled hedge funds and pretends to work. She will waft into the highest levels of politics and finance, despite showing no aptitude of any sort. Bless her heart. But she has also done nothing worth criticizing either. If she runs for office, or backs somebody who is running for office, then we will find out what she is made of. Until then she isn’t even worth commenting on.
    ***

    This is nothing more than a move for her run for Senate. Hildagard past her prime 40yrs ago. Bill, well he’s Bill. Chelsea IS a 1 percenter……lest we forget, she has lived the life, eight years of servants….she is a child of socialism living the Royal life style.
    ***

    Honor, integrity, ethics and self-discipline don’t seem to matter, at all, anymore. Once upon a time, the likes of the Clintons and the Mezvinskys would have been anathema. That they’re not speaks volumes about our sick culture: mega money, however ill-gotten, trumps everything. Shame? Bah!
    ***

    What is interesting about Chelsey isn’t her connections, but her desire to cash-in before she begins her political career. Usually the Gravy Train begins after a person finishes his/her public service. It should be remembered that the Clintons, while occupying the Oval Office, didn’t even own thier own car, let alone thier own home. They lived off the tax-payers for so long that most reporters didn’t pick up on this fact until Bill’s second term. Bill used his connections to Wall St (think Terry McAuliffe) to purchase thier first home in West Chester. Hillary used her name and fame to land an $8 million advance on her memiors (which never came close to breaking even). But the former First Daughter wants none of that. Make the bucks while your young seems to be her modus operandi.

    Our federal government more and more resembles the House of Bourbon, where courtiers and privy councils hold the real reins of power.
    ***

    This brings back a funny incident. My daughter was in Chelsea’s class at Stanford. Chelsea was known for pulling the ‘do you who I am?’ card. She and her friends joked about it all the time. Once when computer shopping with my daughter and one of her friends, the clerk on discovering that they were both Stanford students, began to ask if they knew Chelsea. The friend cut her off with a programmed sounding, “Yes we know Chelsea and we hate Chelsea.”
    ***
    Speaking of baggage, here’s the biggest Clinton bag in the room:

    Bill and Hillary Clinton should be in prison for crimes against humanity for what they did to their fellow citizens at Waco, TX, on April 19, 1993. The Waco Massacre and church burning (it was not a “compound,” it was their church),was the most brutal, heinous violation of civil, human and Constitutional rights in this nation’s history. Innocent men, women and children were attacked with tanks, poison gas (CS gas turns to cyanide when heated) and burned alive. Those
    who ran from the church were machine-gunned as documented in the movie “Waco, The Rules of Engagement.” If you doubt how bad this was consider that you never hear the left stream media talk about it. They want it erased from history but this memorial site will remain forever.
    And if that weren’t bad enough, Clinton’s thugs then stuck a machine gun in the face of a 5 year old boy and sent him to the communist gulag known as Cuba. Let’s hope Clinton isn’t teaching President Prompter too many of his old tricks! (unfortunately, it appears that he is): With military precision, the federal officers surrounded the building, donned flak jackets and helmets, readied their weapons, burst in, and forced terrified employees out at gunpoint. Officers ransacked the facility, seizing computers, papers, and materials. It was the second raid in three years by the Fish and Wildlife Service on Gibson, maker of the famous Les Paul guitar. The situation would be laughable, if the consequences for Gibson weren’t so dire.

     
     

    The Waco Massacre and church burning (it was not a “compound,” it was their church),was the most brutal, heinous violation of civil, human and Constitutional rights in this nation’s history

    Ignore the internment camps, slavery, Blacks andwomen not being able to vote, school bombings, the OKC bombing…need I go on? (Yes, I realize not all of these things were Constitutionally protected peoples…which…kinda makes my point for me, I guess.)

     
     

    The Waco Massacre and church burning

    this last comment is so full of teh crazee that it’s hard to know what to do with it…what’s up with the gibson guitar part of it?

     
     

    Ignore the internment camps, slavery, Blacks andwomen not being able to vote, school bombings, the OKC bombing…need I go on?

    also, you should know by now that this history DOES NOT COUNT!!! only things that have: a)caused wingnuts butthurt or b)were okay at the time but are now *overreaching*, *socialist*, *communist* or *facist* now that blackity mcblackblack is in office…that’s the only *history* of this great nation that counts…

     
     

    what’s up with the gibson guitar part of it?

    Gibson has been cited for using wood that was illegally culled from rainforests.

     
     

    BTW…correcting myself. I don’t know why I typed “school bombings.” As far as I know, there have been no school bombings. I think I was thinking of numerous attempts at wingnut violence and things like resistance to the Little Rock Nine and other civil rights milestones and somehow mixed these things up in my head. Sorry ’bout that. I try to avoid talking out of my ass as much as possible.

     
     

    It’s a perennial wingnut favorite, the continued whining about how the government incinerated the wackos at Waco, especially about how it was the fault of ATF that the siege ever happened.

    Yeah, you try shooting the next cop that comes to your door, and see how much opportunity you’re given to “negotiate” and agree to come out under your own power. Try holing up in a church and see if that helps you out. Like all else, murder is only a crime if the wingnuts don’t agree that the person killed should have been.

     
     

    I’ve always said that, despite all the hatred the Republicans spew at the man, Bill Clinton was one of the best Republican presidents we’ve ever had. So it’s not that big a surprise that Chelsea is into things that republicans love so much. (other than the foreign dog name)

    As far as foreign pet names, I had a cat name Gesundheit on account my dad was allergic. I had a sheltie named Tamas and I currently have a bird named Vijay. He’s an Indian ringneck parakeet so I thought the name appropriate.

     
     

    Gibson has been cited for using wood that was illegally culled from rainforests.

    My SG is loaded with mahoghany. I wonder if it was illegal wood. That would upset me a little.

     
     

    Take that, OWS? I had no idea the OWS supporters were counting on the Clintons to the movement’s saviors.

    Billdo teamed up all around awesome person Phil Gramm to repeal Glass Steagall. I’m sure the majority of OWSers are aware of this, and consequently have no love for TEH CLENIS and his ilk. I know I’m still mad at the asshole for doing it.

     
     

    My SG is loaded with mahoghany. I wonder if it was illegal wood. That would upset me a little.

    That tears it. Despite thousands of totally imaginary fans begging me to take up the guitar, to show my concern for the rainforest, I will have to decline.

     
     

    My SG is loaded with mahoghany. I wonder if it was illegal wood. That would upset me a little.

    The wingnut running the company is consequently threatening to move out of the country. I guess nobody would buy a Gibson guitar if he couldn’t help ruin the planet while doing it, right?

     
     

    I once dated a chick elitist, snobby bitch who named her cat Puppy.

     
     

    Also, I just want to share this little vision that came to me this morning. I pictured the second inauguation of President Obama. With an even larger crowd of onlookers than at the first one and, just as Obama steps up to the mic to give his speech, a million or so people yell out “MIC CHECK!” Then they go on to say something like… “Congratulations on your re-election. We all voted for you. But only because you were the lesser of two evils. We have come here today to ask that you, over the next four years, end the lesser evil and work for the greater good. ” While around the rest of the country tens of millions of people send congratulatory e-mails to the White House with the same message.

     
     

    The lesson?

    The world is actually a very simple place.

    When you have a simple mind, yes it is. Otherwise, not so much.

     
     

    I had a black cat called Inki. My apologies.

     
    Marion in Savannah
     

    Current cat names:

    Pinza (named for the opera singer — cat’s got a basso purr)
    FuzzButt (former owners named a calico “Goldy.” FuzzButt fits her)
    Al (short for alabaster, all white with blue eyes)
    Delilah (came to us named, a real Princess bitch)
    Hoover (No, he’s not a Republican. You haven’t seen him eat.)

    Actually, all cats probably are really named Pita — Pain In The Ass.

     
     

    The wingnut running the company is consequently threatening to move out of the country

    Buh-bye.

    Next guitar: Strat.

     
    Marion in Savannah
     

    Thread Bear said,
    December 5, 2011 at 19:59

    Brilliant!

     
     

    It bums me out that yoga guys and guitar guys would be as dickish as any other CEO. It doesn’t seem right.

     
     

    Our current pup is Bagoas. Previous canine member of the family was Vasco (da Gama). His littermate, who was sent to a hlafway house in the country when he started herding the neighbor kids, was Socrates, as Sew Crates. My cockapoo in college was Caliban. Our German Shepherd when I was a kid was Zeus. If we had a cat, I’d like to name it Boadicea, regardless of its sex.

     
     

    Wikipedia entry on the wood problems. Gibson tries to play it both ways by building relatively eco-friendly guitars and then also eco-unfriendly guitars. Let the market decide!

     
     

    It bums me out that yoga guys and guitar guys would be as dickish as any other CEO. It doesn’t seem right.

    They don’t get to be CEOs because they are yoga guys or guitar guys – they get to be CEOs because they are business guys. I remember back when Michael Moore had his tv show and went around to various corporations to ask the CEOs to come out and demonstrate how to use their product. The CEO of Ford was the only one to show up and showed us all how to change the oil on a pick-up. None of the other CEOs answered the challenge. And all he’d asked the CEO of Sylvania to do was change a light bulb.

     
     

    The fuss is about rosewood for acoustic instruments. Certainly the Gibson guy has been doubling down on the stupid in the traditional manner. There are enough species that can be called “mahogany” in English that there ain’t a shortage and the real, old growth mahogany from Belize and Chiapas is only a memory but never did anything irreplaceable for acoustic instruments. Electric instruments are blocks of wood bolted and screwed together with pick-ups on them and the fine points of wood are almost entirely decorative. Yes, I include hollow bodies and semi-hollows like SG’s. I like SG’s, don’t get me wrong, but you could make it out of poplar and it would sound just as good.

     
     

    If we had a cat, I’d like to name it Boadicea, regardless of its sex.

    Boadicea isn’t really any more foreign than Adam Smith, so that one’s probably ok.

     
     

    I once dated a chick elitist, snobby bitch who named her cat Puppy.

    My grandmother and mother had a female dog they called Boy. Don’t ask me why. It was before I was around, and yiayia never had much English anyway (which may have accounted for it).

     
     

    My SG is loaded with mahoghany. I wonder if it was illegal wood. That would upset me a little.

    Mahogany is not such an endangered wood, IIRC. It’s rosewood (fingerboard wood) that really gets ’em in trouble.
    .

     
     

    Yes, I include hollow bodies and semi-hollows like SG’s. I like SG’s, don’t get me wrong, but you could make it out of poplar and it would sound just as good.

    SGs are just planks, but don’t discount what wood does for a solidbody electric.
    .

     
     

    They don’t get to be CEOs because they are yoga guys or guitar guys – they get to be CEOs because they are business guys.

    I guess you’re right. But some of them have to be ground-up guys. The Whole Foods guy especially puzzles me. His attitude seems so counter to the constituency he’s serving.

     
     

    OT: A…client?…I guess you’d say…of mine just sent me a link to this. How fucking COOL is that?!!!!!

    Don’t read the comments by the naysayers, they’re nearly as stupid as wingnut drivel.

     
     

    Open-tuning the illegal wood.

     
     

    Make the bucks while your young seems to be her modus operandi.

    So, what, now for wingnuts this is terrible thing?

    Seriously, it amazes me how intricate are the knots people can tie themselves into, in order to justify their biases.

     
     

    I’m not sure which is dumber, this “OMG Chelsea Clinton, daughter of a president and the current secretary of state is an elite elitist! I am SHOCKED!?!” post or the previous “Harry Potter would totally go all incendio on teh Islamies if he were real” post.

    But I think that last of the comment mangoes that bbkf brought back wins for the overall crazy for the dayhour.

    Oh, and buried in those of course is the reference to the journolist. It’s absolutely astounding to me how much power these people can attribute to a defunct email list.

    Related, sort of, here are some kittehs for Cerberus.

     
     

    Having now read the wiki entry I still maintain that rosewood is the issue. Sure they make fingerboards out of ebony if they can but it is really an aesthetic choice, there are plenty of woods just as hard. Rosewood for the back and sides of big flat-top acoustic guitars is another story, there’s been nothing found yet that will make a guitar do what rosewood does and even though the majority of them go into yuppy closets there is big money in up-scale guitars (guitar values have significantly out-performed the S&P over the last thirty years). Musicians with collector quality Martin’s frequently have a designated safe guitar to take overseas because of rumors of confiscation on return to this country. Graphite guitars which play and sound great are a safe alternative to your ’55 Martin herringbone.

    don’t discount what wood does for a solidbody electric. I do and will continue to do so.

     
     

    Open-tuning the illegal wood.

    HOT!

     
     

    Our oldest cat is named Puskas (pronounced push- kas after the 1950’s Hungarian soccer player Ferenc Puskas. I think this qualifies me as a effete Liberal. Could my money be paid by electronic transfer?

     
     

    I consider alder one of the better tonewoods for solid and chambered-bodied guitars.
    .

     
     

    I am worried about the dwindling supply of aluminum trees.

     
     

    Shorter Sherriff Arpaio: I GOT HER PTSD. BITCHES LOVE PTSD!

     
     

    Please, no one tell this guy about cats that look like Hitler.

     
     

    I am worried about the dwindling supply of aluminum trees.

    There was a company that made some solidbody aluminum geetars; forget who it was. They were pretty awful. Kramer made its first solidbodies with aluminum necks. They were uniformly awful-sounding, too.
    .

     
     

    Also, if you would like a Les Paul, look instead for an older Hamer USA (made in Chicago). Much nicer axe, generally, and not as spendy.
    .

     
     

    Because my pet is named after an islamo-Stalinist-turkoman dictator nutcase my opinions about musical instruments can be dismissed out of hand.

     
     

    Previous canine member of the family was Vasco (da Gama).

    I nicknamed my current cat “Vasectomy” because I keep forgetting to clip his claws.

     
     

    There was a company that made some solidbody aluminum geetars; forget who it was. They were pretty awful. Kramer made its first solidbodies with aluminum necks. They were uniformly awful-sounding, too.

    Vaccaro? I thought they sounded pretty good (better than Travis Bean). They definitely played better–the back of the neck was a wood sheath, instead of bare aluminum. Great sustain and bass response. The fretboards were made of ebonol, bowling ball polymer.

     
     

    I actually quite like the sound a lot of aluminum players get. Steve Albini, for instance.

     
     

    I am worried about the dwindling supply of aluminum trees

    Cleary you haven’t been to the local Harrow’s lately.

     
     

    It bums me out that yoga guys and guitar guys would be as dickish as any other CEO. It doesn’t seem right.

    Gibson hasn’t had a soul since Samuel died. The ES, SG and Les Paul are still 3 of the greatest guitars ever made, and I love the Explorer and Flying V (not for the look but the sound). But the Epiphone, now that it’s a package set you can get at Walmart or Costco shows that they’re a toy manufacturer as well as an instrument builder.

     
     

    Could my money be paid by electronic transferguitar?

    You monster!

     
     

    guitar values have significantly out-performed the S&P over the last thirty years

    *realizes he gave away his 1974 Ovation roundback to his nephew*

    AUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

     
     

    The ES, SG and Les Paul are still 3 of the greatest guitars ever made, and I love the Explorer and Flying V (not for the look but the sound).

    two words:

    Ricken

    Backer

     
     

    I have a vintage (’63) Epiphone tube amp. It pains me that it is a shit brand now.

     
     

    I like Ricks, but I hate the look of them (which matters a great deal to me).

    Again–next guitar: Stratocaster. They’re very well made, and the perfect vanilla sound you pedal up to whatever sound you like.

     
     

    It pains me that it is a shit brand now.

    There are a few mid-level Epiphones that are pretty good guitars for people who are just jamming or in a garage band. You wouldn’t want to take it into the studio or play long shows, but they aren’t horrible guitars. Their little starter kit guitars are nothing more than toys and shouldn’t even be made. I wonder sometimes how many great players got discouraged and quit because their parents, with the best of intentions, got them one of those pieces of shit that are unplayable.

     
     

    I nicknamed my current cat “Vasectomy” because I keep forgetting to clip his claws.

    HA! You might try kitteh mittens next time.

     
     

    I like Ricks, but I hate the look of them (which matters a great deal to me).

    You insult me and every Viking on this planet. Prepare to be horded.

     
     

    HA! You might try kitteh mittens next time.

    Mittens? Romney? Are you kidding?

    My cat’s more Democrat than I am! He’s on Obama’s mailing list!

     
     

    Again–next guitar: Stratocaster. They’re very well made, and the perfect vanilla sound you pedal up to whatever sound you like.

    I haven’t picked up a new one in a long time. I hope they’re still good. I never owned one.

    I remember about 1999, I was making excellent baksheesh, and decided to treat myself to a Les Paul Double Cutaway. I played every new one in Nashville (and there were dozens); $2200, average price, and every damned one of them would have needed a $400 fret dressing to make playable. I was so turned off, I bought two Hamer Special FMs (with the curly maple caps!) from eBay for less than half what I would have paid for a new LPDC, and I was really happy.

    Unfortunately, the uglier of the two was the best-sounding, best-playing. I later sold the gorgeous one at a 100% profit.
    .

     
     

    I thought you were a Jets fan. How’s that working out for ya?

     
     

    I’ve never owned a real Strat before either. What I do know about them is that they’re by far the most widely played guitar in rock music. Actually, since David Gilmour plays a Strat, then I WANT ONE.

     
     

    I thought you were a Jets fan. How’s that working out for ya?

    Fair weather, so not bad, actually. Considering I was diehard through the Kenny O’Brien era.

     
     

    Actually, since David Gilmour plays a Strat, then I WANT ONE.

    Third world exploiter.

     
    59 Les Paul, union thug
     

    The bit that hacks me off about the TWO Gibson factory raids is that the Feds haven’t brought anything to trial, or even made any formal accusations. Kinda looks to me that some agents wanted to give their kids guitars… since Gibson was part of the group (including Martin, Fender, Taylor and others) that initiated the “We won’t build with endangered wood” thang, seems a bit ridiculous they’d knowingly buy threatened wood; more likely that they’ve been sold down the river by dishonest vendors. Also, as written, the law is so ambiguous that I could probably go to jail for selling one of my guitars, as I can’t prove where the wood originated– Oh sure, I know my Martins are Indian rosewood, not Brazilian, but can I PROVE IT? not so much.

     
     

    I, for one, will be happy to welcome our cloned Mammoth overlords.

     
     

    I’ve never owned a real Strat before either.

    One of my favorite guitars ever was a 1982 Ibanez Roadstar RG-440. It was a Strat clone, with a humbucker (that could be split, via a push-push on the tone pot) in the bridge, and the Ibanez-licensed vibrato that they bought rights from Floyd Rose to manufacture. It had an unfinished neck, which was unbelievable… take some super-fine wet-dry sandpaper to it every few months, and it felt SO marvy. A lot of variety of tone out of that one, too. Basswood, I believe.
    .

     
     

    GØP candidates for less government intrusion.

     
     

    Again–next guitar: Stratocaster. They’re very well made, and the perfect vanilla sound you pedal up to whatever sound you like.

    I dunno, a good one sounds very much like a Stratocaster and it can be hard to get the sustain after the attack that you can fluff up with other bullshit unless you play really really loud or fuck around with compression.

     
     

    I just did my Moonday cybershopping & got a noisy toy that I’ve been wanting to crank up for more than 20 years.

     
     

    All my electric guitars were stolen 6 years ago and I haven’t replaced them. I had a strat and a tele (great! great!), a one off Kramer “commemorative” (it was a gift! but I played out with it a lot ’cause it was so over the top ugly) and a ’55 Gibson lap steel (solid maho man!) and they all had their points. The guitar I miss was a Ibanez Les Paul knock off a girlfriend’s brother gave me, trashed, and I nursed back to life. A lot lighter than a real one with hotter, sloppier pick-ups, I had a lot of fun with that. She took it when she came for her stuff.

     
     

    push-push on the tone pot

    The jokes just write themselves.

     
    59 Les Paul, union thug
     

    “I’ve never owned a real Strat before either.”

    check out an American Deluxe. The SCN pickups are flat out awesome. Also, heh heh, mine’s a two-color ‘burst, which they technically never made; they’re all three-color. Inside the vibrato cavity, somebody wrote “50th” then crossed it out with a sharpie.

     
     

    I wonder sometimes how many great players got discouraged and quit because their parents, with the best of intentions, got them one of those pieces of shit that are unplayable.

    So what is a good starter electric guitar for all of us future stadium smashing rock gods?

     
     

    Do not expect a big rising bubble of Santorum

    Good, because when it bursts….

     
     

    I had a cockatiel named Ophelia, but in my defense she was nuts.

    I would have expected you to follow Dorothy Parker’s precedent and choose an Old Testament name.

     
     

    So what is a good starter electric guitar for all of us future stadium smashing rock gods?

    Weeds you out. Sorry, them’s the breaks. If you keep playing when your fingers bleed you’re in.

    I remember going into a store after bashing away at my beloved strat copy for years and discovering that some guitars were EASIER TO PLAY.

     
     

    Is there a guitar equivalent to the Win/Mac wars? Because you guys are boring me to tears.

     
     

    Is there a guitar equivalent to the Win/Mac wars?

    I think it’s about technique as opposed to brand… This vs. this vs. this maybe.

     
     

    Chelsea Clinton’s Baggage. No, Not Them.

    It took me a while to figure out that he probably means her parents. My first thought was, “WTF? Does he mean her buttocks?”

    I’ve never contemplated Chelsea Clinton’s “caboose” before.

     
     

    Because you guys are boring me to tears.

    Cry, Cry Darling

     
     

    So what is a good starter electric guitar for all of us future stadium smashing rock gods?

    There is a multitude of mid level guitars, mostly imports, that are of decent quality and run $500-$700 in price. Pair that with a good solid state combo amplifer, and you have a good setup for learning how to play. The biggest issue with cheap guitars is that they really can’t be tuned correctly, which handicaps a beginner since they can’t learn to tune by ear. The other problem with them is the action–the strings have to be set way too far away from the fretboard because of the shitty quality necks that I can’t even play them for very long. If an experienced player struggles with a guitar, how can a beginner be expected to learn to play?

    If you’re serious about learning to play, bite the bullet and get a good quality guitar. If you buy a cheap guitar, you’ll end up needing another one before you do anything other than jam with your friends.

     
     

    Weeds you out. Sorry, them’s the breaks. If you keep playing when your fingers bleed you’re in.

    So let me get this right:
    Step one: get some shiny budget piece of crap guitar.
    Step two: Torture tunes out of warped plywood and bleeding fingers.
    Step three: trade up to more expensive guitar
    Step four:??????????
    Step five: rock godhood ensues?

     
     

    “It will be slow and steady and we’re going to surprise people on caucus day.”

    Does this mean he’s not going to take hygienic measures before the butt boning commences?

     
     

    My lone electric is an “ONYX” (generic K-Tel RawkBox) which was kindly smashed to bits & then epoxied back together by a previous owner, said damage (mostly) covered up with stickers of varying obscenity. The function of one of its four buttons will forever remain a mystery, a lacuna which it more than makes up for with its delightful rattling.

    Made In Korea? Made In Lithuania? Made In Madagascar? Beats me … but for all its many flaws, it is still every bit as rude as an electric ought to be.

    My functional acoustic is a Fender F-35.

    Also, I play left-handed.

     
     

    Because you guys are boring me to tears.

    Beats food pron

     
     

    So what is a good starter electric guitar for all of us future stadium smashing rock gods?

    Get a beat up six-string.
    In a secondhand store…

     
     

    Step one: get some shiny budget piece of crap guitar.
    Step two: Torture tunes out of warped plywood and bleeding fingers.
    Step three: trade up to more expensive guitar
    Step four:??????????
    Step five: rock godhood ensues?

    Step four: Enlist a Colombian drug lord to your entourage.

     
     

    Get a beat up six-string.
    In a secondhand store…

    Or at the five and dime
    Play it til your fingers bled
    (only works in summers ending in 6 and 9)

     
     

    I’ve never contemplated Chelsea Clinton’s “caboose” before.

    Hmmmmm…you know what?

    I’ll be in my bunk.

     
     

    Also, I play left-handed.

    Figures.

     
     

    I’m kind of hot.

    Guitar talk?

    NOISE GATE

    How’s that working for you?

     
     

    If anyone’s really kinked to get a Gibson (like I am), check out ebay and Craigslist. Buy a used one, even if it needs a little work, and none of the money goes to evil-Corporate-Asshole guy.

     
     

    So what is a good starter electric guitar for all of us future stadium smashing rock gods?

    Find a good luthier and have him fit you out with one. Trust me, this is one purchase you don’t want to make off the rack. It doesn’t have to be custom made, but you want one that feels right. That makes a lot bigger difference than Rick v. Strat. v. Ibanez or whatever flavor of the month they sell.

     
     

    My lone electric is an “ONYX” (generic K-Tel RawkBox) which was kindly smashed to bits & then epoxied back together

    You know, once I found out that other guitars were better and let me play faster I went back to the old guitar and strung it with even heavier strings. Helps prevent creeping Malmsteenism. (And god help me I know how Malmsteen strings his guitar so SHUT UP.)

     
     

    So what is a good starter electric guitar for all of us future stadium smashing rock gods?

    If you’re really interested, my two choices are Gibson Les Paul and Fender Stratocaster (American made).

    Here’s the deal with guitars:

    Borrow a guitar from a friend if at all possible. Learn a few open string chords–E, G, D, C and A

    THEN go to a shop, don’t even LOOK at anything under $750.00, and find something that looks cool. Sit down and play these chords and see how it feels. You’ll know right away if it’s a guitar you want.

     
     

    (And god help me I know how Malmsteen strings his guitar so SHUT UP.)

    It’s ok, there may still be hope for you if…. you still have to look up the way to spell Yngwie every time.

     
     

    Malmsteen’s guitar is string with pure douchery.

     
     

    I’m kind of hot.

    Guitar talk?

    NOISE GATE

    How’s that working for you?

    If I knew what it was, I’m sure I’d be on fire.

     
     

    If I knew what it was, I’m sure I’d be on fire.

    How about sweater snagging distortion and feedback?

     
     

    How about sweater snagging distortion and feedback?

    I could go for a bit o’ that. Just a bit though.

     
     

    Malmsteen’s guitar is string with pure douchery.

    Distilled from the essence of Vai, and coated with a thin layer of Lofgrenite.

     
     

    THEN go to a shop, don’t even LOOK at anything under $750.00, and find something that looks cool. Sit down and play these chords and see how it feels. You’ll know right away if it’s a guitar you want.

    Troo dat. I felt that way when i played a friend’s SG.

     
     

    Borrow a guitar from a friend if at all possible

    This is exactly what I was going to say. Any guitarist has extra guitars that they won’t miss for six months or so. Learn to play and then shop for something that kills fascists.

     
     

    THEN go to a shop, don’t even LOOK at anything under $750.00, and find something that looks cool. Sit down and play these chords and see how it feels. You’ll know right away if it’s a guitar you want.

    So the wand picks you.

     
     

    Any guitarist has extra guitars that they won’t miss for six months or so.

    GRAR!!!

     
     

    So the wand picks you.

    it’s an axe, but yes.

    I have a Special Edition Tele, and it is a fine, fine guitar, but I’ve never quite gotten the feel for it like I did the battered Les Paul flat solid body I had in college….

     
     

    Learn to play and then shop for something that kills fascists

    In my ignorant state, If I were to buy a guitar, I might get a machine that kills ophthalmologists by mistake.

     
     

    it’s an axe, but yes.

    See that thing that just flew over your head? It was my joke.

     
     

    I might get a machine that kills ophthalmologists by mistake.

    Opthamology is theft.

     
     

    See that thing that just flew over your head? It was my joke.

    Did you stay for your masters at Hogwart’s?

     
     

    See that thing that just flew over your head? It was my joke.

    Yeah, I know. I would have swatted it with my axe, but it was so poorly aimed.

     
     

    Yeah, I know. I would have swatted it with my axe, but it was so poorly aimed.

    Too bad you didn’t have a wand.

     
     

    You’ll know right away if it’s a guitar you want.

    A local shop had a Rickenbacker 12 string electric in seafoam green that I kind of fell for also too.

     
     

    Too bad you didn’t have a wand.

    I do.

    VPR.

     
     

    A local shop had a Rickenbacker 12 string electric in seafoam green that I kind of fell for also too.

    Never fall in love with a guitar. Never. She’ll break your heart.

    I learned that lesson the hard way working across the street from Sam Ash.

     
     

    I wonder if novice authors are advised to start with the very best pencil they can afford and not settle for a 10 pack of Ticonderoga #2.

     
     

    Never fall in love with a guitar. Never. She’ll break your heart.

    Plus, humping guitars is illegal in some states.

     
     

    So the wand picks you.

    My wand picks you

    (thank you, thank you, I’m here all week. Clever, eh?)

    Hopefully your wand isn’t made from the same things as the toolshed whose name must not be spoken.

     
     

    I wonder if novice authors are advised to start with the very best pencil they can afford and not settle for a 10 pack of Ticonderoga #2.

    The best artists start with a 64 pack of Crayolas, no?

     
     

    Plus, humping guitars is illegal in some states.

    Then you catch her giving humbuckers for drinks…*SOB*

     
     

    I wonder if novice authors are advised to start with the very best pencil they can afford and not settle for a 10 pack of Ticonderoga #2.

    Well, the best eraser, at any rate.

     
     

    it’s an axe, but yes.

    Unless it can chop down a tree I’m skeptical.

     
     

    Shorter George Will:

    Although my wife advises the stupid idiot from Texas who’d be really great because he hates everything, vote Jon Huntsman because Gingrich or Romney CAN’T WIN.

     
     

    Unless it can chop down a tree I’m skeptical.

    You, sir, need an aluminum guitar.

    Also.

     
     

    Okay, what is it with wingnuts and the obsession with the children of their hated targets? I mean it’s 11 years since Clinton was out of power and they still have a hate-on for Chelsea Clinton so hard that they are driving to psychotic frenzy by a fluff piece about her.

    Yeah, liberals made jokes about Jenna Bush being a party girl, but no one really hated her and you’ll note that the people thinking about her completely stopped once Bush left office and besides the jokes were more an oblique way to criticize Bush’s drug-fueled life with a bit of “like father, like daughter”.

    But not wingnuts, their hatred for Chelsea continues 11 years after the fact, even though she was rather inoffensive as far as presidential daughters (spent most of her time studying, yeah, she was rich and connected, but she was a fucking nerd who tried to make something of herself rather than coasting on daddy’s name). And it’s just a repeat of the hatred they had for Lynda Bird Johnson and of course the current unquenchable hatred for Sascha and Malia even though they’re fucking children (I fear for their teenage years).

    And it’s not just presidential daughters, when Breivik hepped himself up to shoot some liberals, he didn’t decide to pull a Laughner and go for the top, he instead knew the real villains were those filthy liberal kids and kids of liberals.

    For some reason the kids just rile them up to almost a point as high or higher than the actual people they have policy disagreements with. Maybe part of their unending hatred of fun and youth now that they’ve wasted their youthful days repressing themselves and hating others.

    Either way, it’s really fucked up.

     
     

    Unless it can chop down a tree I’m skeptical.

    Put it in Townshend’s hands.

     
     

    Unless it can chop down a tree I’m skeptical.

    You, sir, need an aluminum guitar.

    I’m skeptical that you can chop down a tree with an aluminum axe.

     
     

    You, sir, need an aluminum guitar.

    Aluminum guitars are like aluminum baseball bats.

     
     

    Dang, stepped away and missed my chance to make jokes about wands pricking people.

     
     

    Aluminum guitars are like aluminum baseball bats.

    Lethal when used by college students?
    Really hard to cork?

     
     

    Aluminum guitars are like aluminum baseball bats.

    They resemble PENIS?

     
     

    Lethal when used by college students?
    Really hard to cork?
    They resemble PENIS?

    Well, yea, that too.

     
     

    Unless it can chop down a tree I’m skeptical.

    well…

    I don’t care if Substance beat me to the link, the bastard.

     
     

    Heh, that’s pretty cool.

     
     

    Also, man is the “why not American philosopher” excuse one for the weak sauce files. Yes, why did she use a philosopher’s name that spoke to her instead of “picking American” for her damn pet (she’s not outsourcing your job to India, that would be the greedy 1%er you cheer so loudly)?

    Oh, yes, and what American philosopher is there for her. I mean, in the top names, she’s basically got Thoreau, Emerson, Paine, and Dewey. And all those were flaming liberals so let’s not pretend that she wouldn’t be attacked on that front. She could go modern feminist philosophers to get some more names, but I won’t even go there because the wingnut screeching would have peeled the paint off the walls.

    Also, by the quote, the author seems to be hating her for breaking away from the redneck stereotype they constantly tried to hang on Bill Clinton. Oh, he names his dog Buddy and his cat Socks, what a goomer from the sticks. What Søren, like the philosopher? Holy fuckballs, that sounds all edumacated! ELITEST! ELITEST!

    But seriously, who criticizes a pet name? It’s meant to be goofy, it’s meant to be personal, it’s meant to not really make much sense outside usually an in-joke for the person who has them.

    I mean, Checkers is kind of a silly name, but no one really went after Nixon for that, because that would be fucking insane.

    And yeah, the real meat of this article seems to be the fact that the more downwardly 99%ers of the fellate the 1% movement are having some difficulty merging their reality with their ideology and so have decided that their problems are caused only by the 1% that are liberals and thus liberals are hypocrites, go Team Fuck the Poor.

    As we can see here, the strain is driving some of the poor dears even more insane.

     
     

    This is the only guitar I own, now. I just can’t bear to part with it.
    .

     
     

    What Søren, like the philosopher?

    Maybe she named it after the villain Malcolm McDowell played in that one Star Trek movie.

     
     

    This is the only guitar I own, now. I just can’t bear to part with it.

    You shouldn’t.

     
     

    He won the case, even after pissing off the judge? Geez, you don’t need to piss off the judge if you’re winning.

     
     

    This is the only guitar I own, now.

    Oh my. That guitar has an ample booty.

     
     

    Also the final part, the part about “take that OWS” and all? They’re basically taking her to task for something every single college graduate in this economy including me has found out. There is no “enter the workplace on your merits and skillsets”. In this economy, if you’re not using nepotism to enter a job, you’re not getting that job. Hell, even the flippy dippy job advice columns have had to acknowledge this reality by giving job tips that are essentially: Have you exhausted everyone you know? Make more friends!

    So yeah, Chelsea graduates into this hell hole of an economy and goes to work with her dad’s CHARITY organization (hey, if they are going to whine that charity organizations are the highest form of expression for the morality play and should replace the government, I’m going to slam them everytime they bitch about this or that charity that isn’t just a front for evangelical groups to try and convert desperate people).

    Yeah, that’s kinda how it works these days, even for the rich kids, cause that’s how bad things are.

    There’s this movement that’s out there, trying to criticize this, asking for the return of a safety net and policies that would promote the type of economy where merit mattered again. You might have heard of it. It’s called OWS, you STUPID FUCKING PRICK, god I hate these people.

    He ends with hedge fund managers comitting fraud, but in wingnut world, that only matters when it can be blamed by 7 Degrees of Kevin Bacon on liberals, instead of you know, oh fuck it.

    This idiot is hurting. He’s got to be, and he’s only allowing his hurt at the hands of the 1% and this economy to be let out when he can feel superior to a young woman who is stuck in their more famous parent’s shadow. This is the exact mindset of someone who’s got a sadistic boss deciding to beat his wife and children to get it out.

    And if he actually just took a rhetorical swing at the sadistic boss then we’d be in good shape, but fuck, he doesn’t even do that, instead stealing the children’s milk money and giving it to the boss so the boss can fuck with him some more and preventing investigators from taking his boss away.

    I don’t know what combination of fuckwaddery makes you into a person like that, but I sympathize almost as strongly as I despise.

     
     

    Do You Know Who Else Gave His Dog A Foreign Name?

    What’s so foreign about “Blondie”?

     
     

    You shouldn’t.

    I took it to Gruhn’s for a free appraisal, once. No one knows who Allan Holdsworth is, so it was worth disappointingly little.
    .

     
     

    I’m afraid, with my carpal tunnel and tennis elbow, my guitar playing days are behind me.

    But I’d buy Rick Neilsen’s five neck in a heartbeat if I could still play.

     
     

    Now if I wanted to sell it in Japan…
    .

     
     

    And yeah, comments and article all bitch what would normally be criticisms of the 1% and the overly nepotistic turn our economy has taken and hence the need for safety nets and removing the money from the dynasties as it were.

    But of course, the cognitive dissonance kicks in before that rational next step, so instead, it’s really a bunch of people 100% agreeing with critiques of the 1% to instead bitch about non-tribe members ascending the Calvinist ladder to the glorious reward of the “right betters”. Children of liberals, black people, jews, people with Russian surnames, prominent liberals, etc… are villainous for thinking they deserve to reap the rewards of the 1% which are only reserved for strong conservative WASPs who are the only “job creators” whose boots they want to lick.

    When triablism meets feudalism meets Calvinism, that’s modern conservativism in a nutshell. Everything in a hierarchy, the right hierarchy in place, the right boots to lick as they crush your face, the right people even further down the boot-kicking totem pole.

    If that dystopian hell came to pass, these people would be happy as clams. Isn’t sad that they can’t even enjoy the hellhole they’ve voted us into because children of liberals have benefitted from the entrenched system too?

     
     

    But I’d buy Rick Neilsen’s five neck in a heartbeat if I could still play.

    Hamer USA. Awesome guitars, but that one he probably needs to have set on a stand for him, these days.
    .

     
     

    No one knows who Allan Holdsworth is

    Oddly I was gonna use Holdsworth for the ridiculous technique link, but held off.

    There are rabid Holdsworth fans out there. I’d bet an E-Bay trial would go well.

     
     

    Awesome guitars, but that one he probably needs to have set on a stand for him, these days

    They opened for Squeeze at Radio City two summers ago. It wasn’t brought out until they dived into Surrender at the encore, then a roadie quickly scooped it up as I recall.

     
     

    They opened for Squeeze at Radio City two summers ago. It wasn’t brought out until they dived into Surrender at the encore, then a roadie quickly scooped it up as I recall.

    It’s gotta weigh close to 50lbs.
    .

     
     

    I wonder if novice authors are advised to start with the very best pencil they can afford and not settle for a 10 pack of Ticonderoga #2.

    The old saw about how “amateurs borrow, professionals steal” seems appropriate.

     
     

    What Søren, like the philosopher?

    It’s a great name for a jumper, though maybe Faith would be better.

     
     

    I wonder if novice authors are advised to start with the very best pencil they can afford and not settle for a 10 pack of Ticonderoga #2.

    Well, I dunno if 14yo kids are bored enough with their lives these days to take the old hand-me-down Harmony acoustic that might have cost $14 in 1968 money, but in 1977, made a boy’s fingers bleed for months, just learning the basic open chords (barre chords were NOT happening on this thang). Maybe they are, and certainly that persistence made my parents realize this was not just a phase, and later, they got me some stuff worth playing on, and that made all the difference.
    .

     
     

    And the better analogy would be “a hammer, chisel and some roughly-hewn tablets vs. a word processor,” but yeah.
    .

     
     

    An’ hey! B^4 commented on my catblog, and I didn’t even pimp it, here!
    .

     
     

    The value of a well-dressed fret (and just how impossible that is on a “student” guitar) cannot be overstated.
    .

     
     

    They opened for Squeeze at Radio City two summers ago. It wasn’t brought out until they dived into Surrender at the encore, then a roadie quickly scooped it up as I recall.

    They gave a free concert this past May after a Lightning playoff game. I missed a bit at the beginning, I did not see the five neck.

     
     

    So the wand picks you.

    picking the wand…

     
     

    Here’s the pretty Hamer I sold for a big profit. Can’t find a photo of the ugly, dark brown sunburst one where you can barely see any of the top. I kept that one, as it felt nicer and sounded better than the gorgeous Aztec Gold one.
    .

     
     

    The value of a well-dressed fret (and just how impossible that is on a “student” guitar) cannot be overstated.

    okay, so on ‘storage wars’ the other night, the guy that i hate second to most, found a stradivarius in his locker…so of course he took it to a violin shop to get it appraised…d00d told him it was a studen model and virtually worthless which made me relly happy…then the guy i hate second to most was all dooshy and was,’you’re just a kid…i want your old man to look at it!’ and the old man said the same thing…ha, ha…it was so funny!

     
     

    i apologize the the above silliness…i was forced to be silent for nearly the entire afternoon…i guess you see the effects right there…

     
     

    Coveting the fiveneck

     
     

    dressing the fret…

     
    Illuminati Repton
     

    “Always hungry after a show, eh, Soren?”

     
     

    Completely OT, Powell’s Books sent me an email with three coupons (codes, actually but you know what I mean) for 25% off your entire on-line order plus free shipping. I generally buy my books at the store (Powell’s City of Books, an amazing wonderful bookstore where The Ho and I have to find each other by cell phone, the store fills an entire city block) so I have no idea what their prices are wrt Amazon or whoever. Hit me up if interested with an email to vmweenie UNDERSCORE 98 AT yahoo DOT com.

     
     

    VS, that de Vries guy is brilliant! Beautiful. I want to nab some and post it at my place, but his gallery is taking forever to load.

     
     

    dressing the fret…

    I’m undressing the fret with my eyes

     
     

    VS, that de Vries guy is brilliant! Beautiful. I want to nab some and post it at my place, but his gallery is taking forever to load.

    Ah! Somebody clicked! I was blown away by those children’s art to, um, art works. They were just spectacular. So whimsical, so dark, so joyful, so beautiful.

     
    The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
     

    Oh, yes, and what American philosopher is there for her. I mean, in the top names, she’s basically got Thoreau, Emerson, Paine, and Dewey. And all those were flaming liberals so let’s not pretend that she wouldn’t be attacked on that front

    I would have put Charles Sanders Peirce at the top of that list. Not endorsing him, just mentioning him. (Not too good a dog name, though if you want to make jokes like we did about our basset hound: “Actually, she spells it Zoë.”)

     
    The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
     

    What’s so foreign about “Blondie”?

    Actually, she spelled it “Blondi”.

     
     

    VS, that de Vries guy is brilliant! Beautiful. I want to nab some and post it at my place, but his gallery is taking forever to load.

    yeah, i went back and clicked…amazing stuff…and i couldn’t get the entire gallery to load either which is disappointing…

     
     

    Just don’t read the comments, ladies!

     
     

    But some of them [CEOs] have to be ground-up guys.

    Is VS advocating the woodchipper? ELIMINATIONIST.

     
     

    Take that, OWS? I had no idea the OWS supporters were counting on the Clintons to the movement’s saviors.

    That was exactly my thought. How this can be interpreted as a slap in the face to OWS is beyond me and lives in the fevered mind of a wingnut. I’m pretty sure the Clintons qualify as part of the 1% and symbolic of the rich, powerful elite, crony capitalism. They are not held up as some kind of movement symbols. Once again, these douchebag wingnuts simply DON’T. GET. IT.

     
     

    Pennis would concur. Plus I have advocated hitting newt Gingrich in the face with a shovel (for saying poor people DON’T WORK) and fucking frank miller in the ass with a chainsaw.

     
     

    The Waco Massacre and church burning (it was not a “compound,” it was their church),was the most brutal, heinous violation of civil, human and Constitutional rights in this nation’s history

    This always boggles my mind. It was a cult. The crazed wingnuts SO hate Clinton that they are willing to defend a pedophilic cult leader who “married” and had sex with underage girls and who’s cult open fired on ATF agents killing several. Simply amazing.

     
     

    For some reason I read that Clue style:

    Fucking Frank Miller
    In The Ass
    With A Chainsaw

    Fucking Frank Millers, how do they work?

     
     

    Just don’t read the comments, ladies!

    oh, you know i did…what a bunch of maroons…does nobody take the time to read before they hotfoot it to the comments section and make everyone aware of their butthurt?!?!?

     
     

    ckelly, doesn’t it just blow your mind? And not in a good way?

     
     

    ckelly-

    They really have a hard time with the concept that liberals are not like them and do not worship “high-ranking” members of “the tribe” simply because they are high ranking members of the tribe who “can do no wrong”.

    As such, they remain baffled and unable to fully process it when liberals criticize their leaders, have strong disagreements with policies, do not view policies as tied to specific leaders, and even straight up hating the people who supposedly “represent them”.

    So they go, ha, someone on “your side” based more on us not wanting them on our team than anything else is something you’ve criticized and we all go, yes, and… and if we’re feeling particularly like engaging crazy, we may point out our longer, more studied history of criticizing said people on exactly that issue. And they have no way to process that. They sniped a leader, that should matter.

    Similarly, they feel like internal debate, discussion, and disillusionment that is part and parcel of liberalism are signs that everyone agrees with their whackjob reasons for hating someone. Liberals criticize Obama’s political senses and compromises, that must mean that they also think he’s a communist space muslim come to rape our white women and thus we have super support for our cannon to launch him into space.

    It’s just not how their authoritarian brains work. If they are high members of the tribe, then they are perfect, even when they aren’t and you must rally around them, fighting reality as the other tribe attacks they are. Internal criticism is either a sign that the critic is a heretic who must be thrown out of the tribe or a sign of how the criticized was always a secret liberal and must now be shunned completely.

    In short, authortarians be crazy, yo.

     
     

    Once again, these douchebag wingnuts simply DON’T. GET. IT.

    vacuumslayertse said,

    December 6, 2011 at 1:07

    Pennis would concur.

    they don’t do *nuance*

     
     

    The Waco Massacre and church burning (it was not a “compound,” it was their church),was the most brutal, heinous violation of civil, human and Constitutional rights in this nation’s history

    This always boggles my mind. It was a cult. The crazed wingnuts SO hate Clinton that they are willing to defend a pedophilic cult leader who “married” and had sex with underage girls and who’s cult open fired on ATF agents killing several. Simply amazing.

    what i truly loved about that comment is that it all comes back to obama…how do they do it?

     
     

    Did you ever try to make eye contact with butthurt? Not easy. Not pretty.
    .

     
     

    Oh, and they really don’t get that liberals don’t worship their leaders. That we don’t fetishize them and try and make them perfect beings but rather strive to acknowledge their flaws even while we admire what we like about them drive conservatives to drink as they are unable to process anything other than pure as driven snow or winged Hitler demon.

    On Waco:

    Also, lost in the shuffle? The fact that the crazy cult were the ones to set the fires. The “Waco tragedy” is complaining about the failure of the ATF through bad planning and miscommunication to save a bunch of pedophile rapist cultists from THEIR OWN DAMN SELVES and their own stupidity to think that a ring of fire to ward off invasion means you’re trapped in a fucking burning building.

    So, yeah, when Waco is brought up like its some big proof that government is useless and evil, what they are saying is that since the government couldn’t save a bunch of psychotic idiots from offing themselves in paranoid insanity, government is bad unless its being used to crack down on people we don’t like.

    And since IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION, this ends up getting recycled as “liberals want the government to protect people from themselves” when we argue things like “hey maybe we shouldn’t be allowing snack food companies to directly market to our kids in school” or “hey maybe this firework with the shortened fuse shouldn’t be labeled 3 and up” or “hey, can we actually regulate the corporations poisioning our water, our air, and our food so we don’t die”.

     
     

    No more guitar links, I promise!
    .

     
     

    …a pedophilic cult leader who “married” and had sex with underage girls and who’s cult open fired on ATF agents killing several.

    I believe that wingnuts think of this as “Living the Dream.”

     
     

    I can’t give out my dog’s name or you’d be able to open my bank account.

     
    The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
     

    I guess it’s a goddamn good thing I wasn’t president at the time of the Waco “massacre”, or the local ATF guy, either. Hear me now and believe me later, if I found out some nut cult was stockpiling weapons like that, I would never have endangered any human lives–I would have called in an airstrike first and asked questions later. (That’s what we’re supposed to be doing in Afghanistan, according the these assweasels, isn’t it?)

     
     

    I would have called in an airstrike first and asked questions later

    If you send in military strikes every time you hear of some nimrod in Texas stockpiling an arsenal, aren’t you going to run out of ordinance before you run out of Texans?

     
     

    Smut-

    And the downside is…?

     
     

    Yes, that was what I was getting at.

    The wingnutterati are all “we’re big daddy law-n-order respect mah authoriTAY” until some psychotic dipshits shoot down sworn law enforcement officals while a Democratic president is in office. Then it’s an unprovoked massacre of innocents.

    What they fail to mention with all the “but they could have grabbed Koresh when he was in town!” second-guessing was that the court order was to search for and seize illegal weapons from a group who, less than a year before, had had an open shootout, involving a lot more than just two people, on the property in which one person was killed. They didn’t have an arrest warrant for Koresh; they had a search warrant for the property, and the just cause was in the form of a recent murder at the location. There was never any possibility of avoiding a violent confrontation, given that the Waco wackos weren’t going to allow law enforcement to, well, enforce the law.

    So much for law-n-order.

     
    St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
     

    Let’s see:

    A Siamese male named Max when I was about 4.
    A black-and-white shorthair female named Blackie, who thought I was her mom, and pretty much destroyed me at age 17 when she died.
    A Siamese female named Maxine (no relation to the previous Siamese).
    A Persian female named Debbie (grandmother’s).
    A calico female named alternatively Lily, Tiger Lily or Cat.

     
    St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
     

    So, on analysis, the vast majority of my pets were Thai and Iranian. And women. Even with the starkly domestic naming, I’m probably suspect.

     
    The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
     

    And yes, Pennis—I know you’re reading—that was “eliminationist rhetoric”. But notice the Hans und Franz reference to take the edge off? That means it’s humor. (Sort of.) Arr-Arr!

     
     

    Clown Hall columnist touts The Grapes of Wrath as a motivational text.

    … what [the unemployed] ought to do is start brainstorming and start a business. If you are an unskilled laborer, it may seem like there are no opportunities. But, there are if you move to where the jobs are. In the 1930’s and 1940’s, there were several great migrations in the United States. The migration from the Great Plains to California was captured in the John Steinbeck novel about the Joad family. Many families moved from the rural south to the industrialized north for work. Just because you have lived your whole life in one area of the country doesn’t mean you are stuck there.

     
     

    snark blog argle bargle both sides someone pooped on a car

    Um…that’s my pennis imitation. UNCANNY!

     
    The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
     

    The migration from the Great Plains to California was captured in the John Steinbeck novel about the Joad family. Many families moved from the rural south to the industrialized north for work. Just because you have lived your whole life in one area of the country doesn’t mean you are stuck there.

    Aside from the tone-deafness, this is just window-dressing for what I suspect will be their next big strategy. Not content with egregious gerrymandering and voter suppression and intimidation, they see people from more liberal states moving into the sunbelt and diluting their base. They want to reverse the trend—who cares that the feckless gomers who move to the “industrial north” (with a time machine, I guess), will suffer? That’s what the rubes are for!

     
     

    Rev. Battleaxe: I wasn’t aware of any major trend of liberals moving into red states and diluting the crazy, except outside certain places like RTC, NC. I thought the biggest trend has been and continues to be disgruntled northern wingnuts moving south and west. I might be wrong, tho.

     
     

    Make that, except FOR certain places, etc.

     
    St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
     

    I’d also point out that such a suggestion is vastly attractive to their corporate lords and masters. What’s that, turn the unemployed masses into the migrant workers we’ve been horribly oppressing for the past couple decades, and then blame them for not having jobs if they don’t take our horrible shit-deal?

    Why don’t you take that finger and wiggle it around my prostrate while you’re blowing me, fella. Yeah, yeah, that’s it, I’m not the fag, you’re the fag.

     
     

    Observed on a bumper sticker today:

    Republicans for Voldemort.

    I laughed and laughed.

     
     

    Many families moved from the rural south to the industrialized north for work.

    ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS!!

     
     

    Many families moved from the rural south to the industrialized north for work.

    Well, only to escape discrimination and some bad weather.

     
     

    A shitton of wingnuts from California have moved up here. The most famous of them was Mark Fuhrman of OJ Simpson botched investigation and racist language fame. At the time, the Aryan Nations still had a presence here until Morris Dees came up and kicked their little bitch asses the fuck on out.

     
     

    Up here being Washington, Idaho, Oregon and Montana.

     
     

    “…in the top names, she’s basically got Thoreau, Emerson, Paine, and Dewey…

    Don’t forget Jefferson and Jesus.

     
     

    Um…that’s my pennis imitation. UNCANNY!

    I dyed my hair red and posted pics to my blog, so now I can say stupid shit and and instead of people thinking I’m stupid, they’ll just laugh and tell me it’s ok.

    That’s my vacuum imitation…..UNCANNY!

     
     

    Republicans for Voldemort.

    I got into a huge fight with hubby over my “Republicans hate kittens” bumper sticker. I forget the whole thing…but I think he most upset about it being a sticker, not a magnet. But anyway…how funny is “Republicans hate kittens”?

     
    The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
     

    b. g., I agree the Deep South is a lost cause, but have retirees from the Northeast* stopped moving to Florida, Arizona, New Mexico, etc?

    *This is of course a euphemism for “N00 Yawk commie J00z!! ZOMG!!!!”

     
     

    That’s my vacuum imitation…..UNCANNY!

    Well, you do suck.

     
     

    “I’m clueless but people keep telling me I’m interesting. Go figure.

    I know, right?”

     
    The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
     

    I gotta say, having “submit” not automatically refresh the page any more sucks donkey balls.

     
     

    I forgot who Morris Dees is, so I Googled him and somehow got onto this link. Wow. This guy locked his keys in his car, didn’t quite shit his pants when a couple of “hardass” Mexican guys stopped to help him, and thinks that proves his superiority as a man.

    It will surprise no one to learn that he appears to be some kind of racist, sexist Libertarian douchebag. That’s what I gathered from as much of his blog as I cared to peruse. An inordinate amount of it is devoted to Bigfoot.

     
     

    vs – my mom recently asked me if she could have one of my bottles of Liquid Ass. She had seen a car parked out in front of the grocery store that said, “Annoy a Liberal: Work hard, make money, pay your own way” and said if she had had the Liquid Ass on hand, she would have opened the door and doused the interior down good.

     
     

    bg-

    Wow, I was going to say that misreading Harry Potter as support for bigoted hatred of minorities was the king of the missing the point award, but how does one read Grapes of Wrath and conclude “that there is a stable and positive model for life”. It’s all about how that last act of desperation just got them stuck in a worse situation where they had even less support, even less rights, and nothing but death, as symbolized by the final flood that rips them all away.

    Oh, wait, wingnut. I’m sure he also thought Great Gatsby was a love letter to the 1%.

     
     

    Oh great, vs, you got the Pennis to get so riled up he pulled on his least dirty underwear and drove to whatever fast food joint was nearest to grace us with his presence again. Think of those poor fast food workers you have condemned to spend time in Pennis’s presence.

    Have you no shame?

     
     

    I forgot who Morris Dees is, so I Googled him and somehow got onto this link. Wow

    Maybe I have the name wrong–this guy was a superstar lawyer for the Southern Poverty Law Center. He does tons of civil rights and anti-discrimination legal work–largely pro-bono, from what I understand.

     
     

    “Annoy a Liberal: Work hard, make money, pay your own way”

    I saw a car that was basically all “annoy a liberal” bumper stickers. Just plastered ALL OVER the car. Is there anything they care about other than that?

     
     

    Jennifer-

    That’s another thing, they never get about liberals, that we could care fucking less about the private lives of wingnuts when they aren’t hurting other people or preventing other people from having free lives. They assume that we are as obsessed with every facet of their lives and robbing it of joy as they are for liberals.

    They really can’t process that we aren’t as terrible people as them.

    Hence why IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION means that they devote most of their lives to trying to figure out why dark humor or low tolerance for trolls prove that liberals are the real terrible people, also the real racists, sexists, and I WIN, MOMMY I WIN, WON’T YOU BELIEVE ME MOMMY, I WAS WINNING!

    Sorry, recently watched the one Star Trek episode where they get shanghaied by the powerful alien child who forces the crew to amuse him and is unaware that constantly cheating and being an idiot doesn’t make him grown up. I don’t know why that reminded me of wingnuts.

     
     

    This Morris Dees.

    I have no knowledge of his political persuasions, but I do know that his work against the KKK and Aryan Nations would more than make up for being a douchebag. He has a solid history of taking down racists.

     
     

    I’m sure he also thought Great Gatsby was a love letter to the 1%.

    The Telltale Heart is a manual on cleaning your hardwood floors.

     
     

    Is there anything they care about other than that?

    You ask that right after Pennis rose out of the shithouse hole?

     
     

    A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court is a novel about the wonders of unfettered capitalism.

     
     

    “Annoy a Liberal: Work hard, make money, pay your own way” and said if she had had the Liquid Ass on hand, she would have opened the door and doused the interior down good.

    Because obviously she was annoyed at anyone who would advocate working hard, making money and paying his/her own way that she would resort to crime to get even.

    Nice mom you got there, Jennifer.

     
     

    Hate map

    Texas and California are dominating in the hate group competition.

     
     

    I have no knowledge of his political persuasions, but I do know that his work against the KKK and Aryan Nations would more than make up for being a douchebag. He has a solid history of taking down racists.

    Yeah. Southern Poverty Law Center does great work. If I’m not mistaken they recently noted an uptick in right-wing terrorism that got SOME people all riled up.

     
     

    Huckleberry Finn was SLAVE THIEF

     
     

    You ask that right after Pennis rose out of the shithouse hole?

    Rhetorical questions are rhetori-DUMB and a waste of time.

     
     

    If I’m not mistaken they recently noted an uptick in right-wing terrorism that got SOME people all riled up.

    Gosh, I wonder who that might be.

     
     

    Don Quixote is about the fresh-air exercise available to elderly men of honor.

     
     

    my mom recently asked me if she could have one of my bottles of Liquid Ass.
    Tell your mother to buy her own bottle. LOOTER.

     
     

    Oh great, vs, you got the Pennis to get so riled up he pulled on his least dirty underwear and drove to whatever fast food joint was nearest to grace us with his presence again. Think of those poor fast food workers you have condemned to spend time in Pennis’s presence.

    Here, Cerberus:

    Occupier gets an occupation

    Occupier sells out to the man.

    Hard work, ingenuity….and a little humble pie.

    Now she has two things she hasn’t had in years……..a job and a good attitude.

     
     

    Rhetorical questions are rhetori-DUMB and a waste of time.

    well, excuuu-UUUUUUSE ME.

     
     

    tsam–No, man, I got the info on who Dees is. That other guy was this douchebag who just happened to comment on Dees and, being the perverse time-wastern that I am, I clicked around a little on his blog, and thought that one post was just too funny/ridiculous to keep to myself.

    Sorry for any confusion.

     
     

    make that time-waster

     
    vacuumslayer interpretation
     

    “Thanks for bailing me out, guys, preesh.

    More pics to follow.”

     
    The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
     

    Sorry, recently watched the one Star Trek episode where they get shanghaied by the powerful alien child who forces the crew to amuse him and is unaware that constantly cheating and being an idiot doesn’t make him grown up. I don’t know why that reminded me of wingnuts.

    And William Campbell, who played the Squire of Gothos (and Captain Koloth in the “Trouble With Tribbles”) was their first choice to play the Captain in The Next Generation. Not sure why that didn’t come off, but wouldn’t that have been a disaster?

     
     

    “Rhetorical questions are rhetori-DUMB and a waste of time.

    well, excuuu-UUUUUUSE ME.”

    Oh no, I was rippIng me, not you. Now go fill ou that questionnaire!

     
     

    Now go fill ou that questionnaire!

    Is it about axes wands hot tubs guitars?

     
     

    I got into a huge fight with hubby over my “Republicans hate kittens” bumper sticker. I forget the whole thing…but I think he most upset about it being a sticker, not a magnet

    Vacuum, wouold you like me to explain the real reason your husband’s pissed at you?

    Here’s a clue……it’s NOT the bumper sticker..

     
     

    Is it about axes wands hot tubs guitars?

    I’m pretty sure it’ll be wand-oriented.

     
     

    “Annoy a Liberal: Work hard, make money, pay your own way”

    Oh no, someone who pays income taxes! How will we ever build a social safety net with people like that around?

    More honestly, “Annoy a Liberal: Be an asshole”

    Done and done!

     
     

    So Pennis, does working your ass off to get around ban after ban really make you feel good. I know, I know, compulsions work the way they do and it’s hard to break them especially when the hate and paranoia are feeding you like an overzealous top, but does this life of bitter hate at people not actually responsible for your life being the cesspool of fail that it is really make you happier?

    Cause it doesn’t seem like it.

    Oh well, counting out the minutes until you’re revolving doored right back out the place.

     
     

    Seriously though, an economy with a strong safety net and actual functioning economy so we can go to work IS what the OWS is all about. I know, wingnuts are completely unable to process that reality doesn’t function like their strawmen but it’s true. OWS protestors want jobs, hell most have jobs and are protesting the abuses in our current system that prevent us from correcting massive inequalities and deficincies in our system, not to mention the way that upper class criminals are protected beyond all reason.

    I know, mean old hippies who are refusing to work. That’s the only interpretation that gets you through the day now that your devil’s deal is done, but has it ever bothered you to fuck yourself so thoroughly just to stick it to the mean old hippies?

    Also, that woman, she’s still protesting Wall Street. Cause it wasn’t just about her not having a job.

    Dipshit.

     
     

    I know, I know, compulsions work the way they do and it’s hard to break them especially when the hate and paranoia are feeding you like an overzealous top, but does this life of bitter hate at people not actually responsible for your life being the cesspool of fail that it is really make you happier?

    Funny, Cerb, that’s the very first thing I said to you, that you seem to get off on coming here to bitch about the very people who you need to win favor from to be successful. The projection with you is almost unbelievable, yet you’ll wirte a thousand words on what you perceive as projection in someone else.

    Seriously, of the two of us and bitter hate, where in the world do you get off thinking you’re the arbiter?

     
     

    Also when did Bronte novels about the rich counts taking pity on the poor scullery maids become the positive model for society, because seems to me we outgrew the fucking 1800s somewhere around fucking 1900.

    I must admit with the rate that wingnut arguments are retarding through history, I worry that they’ll reach the beginning of human history within a handful of years.

     
     

    Also, that woman, she’s still protesting Wall Street. Cause it wasn’t just about her not having a job.

    Yeah, right, Cerb. And the dreadlocked hippymom chick who left her three kids in Florida for “forever” wasn’t really sleeping with a waiter named Rami Shamir, either, and even if she was, so what, because when she said “forever” she meant it.

    Dolt.

     
     

    Lie and complete lack of understanding what projection means, oh, wingnuts, never change.

    Wait, what am I saying, yes, please god, for the sake of humanity change.

    Also, seriously, you really think that after your months long campaigns against reality and your deliberate trolling, there is going to be an ounce of support for your deranged fantasies. The people in your head, they aren’t real other people, they aren’t really praising your works or replacing the other commentators on here.

    And you only came here because you got banned from the last place you were stalking actor in.

    And you only hate me and vs, because we didn’t put up with your shit when you continued stalking him here even though we don’t exactly like him.

    Tell me when you get to stalking yourself because one of your voices disagreed with your stalking of one of us, because that might be the first thing you ever write that has any value to anyone.

     
     

    Seriously, of the two of us and bitter hate, where in the world do you get off thinking you’re the arbiter?

    As Cerberus isn’t having to continually gate-crash a party to make some inane point that everyone at the party already thoroughly understands, I’ll give her arbiter status on this one.
    .

     
     

    Ok, no more feeding the troll.

    Substance-

    Yeah, I never got that to work for me. Going back to the old-fashioned method now.

     
     

    JP-

    My specialization in psychic support is finally given due notice.

    What the rest of you aren’t sentient warships?

    My, this is embarassing.

     
     

    And you only came here because you got banned from the last place you were stalking actor in.

    You keep saying that like it was true, and it never was. The only reason you have for saying it is because you think actor somehow would never lie when it comes to arguing with a conservative.

    Naive somehow doesn’t do proper justice in describing you.

    Here’s another clue for you, nobody posts at his website, and if someone ever does, it’s not for dialogue. Go there and see for yourself.

    Doltress.

    And you only hate me and vs, because we didn’t put up with your shit when you continued stalking him here even though we don’t exactly like him.

    i don’t hate anyone. You just think people hate you. And the people like actor who use you like a club to bash other people you let slide by because you don’t have the stones to tell them they’re asssholes. That’s what’s really fucked up about you.

     
     

    I know there are a shit load of responses before this but I named on of my cats after a welsh goddess I believe that naming pets after deities is a good thing

     
     

    As Cerberus isn’t having to continually gate-crash a party to make some inane point that everyone at the party already thoroughly understands, I’ll give her arbiter status on this one.
    .

    Why the beehive mentality, Jeffraham?

    Why degrade yourself that way?

    If I were Cerb or vs, I’d be embarrassed for you to come along to back me up. Yet that’s how all you guys always are.

    Bizarre.

     
     

    one of my cats not on of my cats. Wine and posting aren’t always a good combo.

     
     

    I believe that naming pets after deities is a good thing

    I did once have a snake named Enki.

     
     

    one of my cats not on of my cats. Wine and posting aren’t always a good combo.

    Easy solution:

    Dye your hair red.

    Post pics to your blog and link to them here.

    ???

    Immunity.

     
     

    Yesterday my shiverbug Bum died speedily. What she had was a twisted tail and if I had the money she would have lived many more minutes. My question is to Cthulhu… Why did it have to be my Bum?

     
     

    Perhaps we should talk guitars some more?

     
     

    Perhaps we should talk guitars some more?

    Or we could trepan ourselves with sporks.

     
     

    Take that, OWS? I had no idea the OWS supporters were counting on the Clintons to the movement’s saviors.

    That was exactly my thought. How this can be interpreted as a slap in the face to OWS is beyond me and lives in the fevered mind of a wingnut. I’m pretty sure the Clintons qualify as part of the 1% and symbolic of the rich, powerful elite, crony capitalism. They are not held up as some kind of movement symbols. Once again, these douchebag wingnuts simply DON’T. GET. IT.

    If you’re not with them, you’re against them. The part of the world that isn’t a part of their particular tribal group (e.g, literally, the 99%) all kind of blurs together into a great big fuzzy “everyone else.”

    This is the same mindset that makes them believe that Obama is a Muslim atheist who wants us all to be gay and have abortions so he can impose Sharia Law. In the old days, people like this also believed the Communists, the Jews and the Catholics (think the Masons were in there too somewhere) were all working together as some sort of great big Conspiracy of Un-American America-Haters.

    Compared to that, mixing up OWSers and Third Way Democrats like Clinton is nothing.

     
     

    Dye your hair red.

    Post pics to your blog and link to them here.

    That’s what this is all about. Pennis’ butthurt ’cause he can’t be one of the clique. And since he can’t, he’s going to forever be Creepy Stalker Guy Even If He Has To Spend Inordinate Amounts Of Money On The 007 Shit To Do So™.
    .

     
     

    I’d like to talk more about Substance’s Bum.

     
     

    Or we could trepan ourselves with sporks.

    I will help you all with that.

     
     

    This always boggles my mind. It was a cult. The crazed wingnuts SO hate Clinton that they are willing to defend a pedophilic cult leader who “married” and had sex with underage girls and who’s cult open fired on ATF agents killing several. Simply amazing.

    Remind them of that the next time they go off on “ZOMFG Mohammed was a pedophile therefore NO MORE MOSQUES ISLAM IS A DEATH CULT!!!!”

     
     

    Why did it have to be my Bum?

    Considering how often you link to goatse, I don’t think it could have been anything else.

     
     

    I’d like to talk more about Substance’s Bum.

    If I said it was THIIIIIIIIIIIIS BIIIIG would you follow the link?

     
     

    I’d like to talk more about Substance’s Bum.

    Really? Tell us more…

    *Yup.

     
     

    FYWP killed my joke by thinking that [ /Freudian Analyist*] was a real tag.

     
     

    If I said it was THIIIIIIIIIIIIS BIIIIG would you follow the link?

    Is it a talking link?

     
     

    Substance-

    Depends on how you’re holding your hands and where…

     
     

    I believe that naming pets after deities is a good thing

    My cat thinks that deities should be named after him.

     
     

    I, for one, am more interested in his Monster crotch.

    Wait, what?

     
     

    My cat thinks that deities should be named after him.

    ROFL!

     
     

    I’m sorry…uppity cat jokes always do it for me.

     
     

    Novak Amlahflsol’s Muted Powdered Milk Hotpot

    Ingredients:
    1 ounce wood drake, salted
    1 powdered milk
    1 stick Mahon cheese
    3 tablespoons orthodox choke snake ear, gratefully grated
    4 bunches baking powder
    1 bunch brown sugar

    Pre-heat your oven to 168 Kelvin. Begin praying. Place the wood drake into a large cup. Mash the powdered milk with the Mahon cheese over low heat in a skillet. Drip resulting concoction over the wood drake. Find some light crude oil and drink it. Toss – very attractively – the choke snake ear, baking powder, and the brown sugar. Encrust the latter combination on to the former. Abandon for 70 hours. Serves 5.

    I should really get Pupienus into the recipe generator.

     
     

    I should really get Pupienus into the recipe generator.

    As an ingredient?

     
     

    I’m sorry…uppity cat jokes always do it for me.

    “Meow my name! MEOW MY NAME!!”

     
     

    More forepaw!!!!!

     
     

    “One time, at Cat Camp….”

     
     

    Dear Tasty Vittles:

    I never thought this would happen to a cat like me…

     
    The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
     

    Boy, Pennis sure seems obsessed with one chick from Florida who might possibly be sleeping with some New York waiter. It couldn’t be because his name sounds like he might be somewhat…melanin-enhanced? Nah! Of course not! I’m sure Governor Sanford’s Hiking the Appalachian Trail ® was just fine and dandy with Pennis.

     
     

    . It couldn’t be because his name sounds like he might be somewhat…melanin-enhanced?

    Perish the thought!

     
     

    Hey, what’s with all the badgers? I mean they’re kewt and all… DANCE BADGERS DANCE

     
     

    Kitty Amin

    (not my cat, but the best name)

     
     

    tsam–No, man, I got the info on who Dees is. That other guy was this douchebag who just happened to comment on Dees and, being the perverse time-wastern that I am, I clicked around a little on his blog, and thought that one post was just too funny/ridiculous to keep to myself.

    After I posted all that, I figured out what you were saying. ME NO REED TO GOOD SOMETIMES

     
     

    Kitler

     
     

    Vacuum, wouold you like me to explain the real reason your husband’s pissed at you?

    Here’s a clue……it’s NOT the bumper sticker..

    WHERE’S MY FUCKING KNIFE? I GOT IT HERE SOMEWHERE. I’M GONNA CUT A FOOL.

     
     

    Yeah, at the end of the Waco “siege”, the cult set fire to the compound (yes, it was a sprawling cult compound). It was also reported that many of the bodies recovered after the fire had bullet wounds meaning cult members either killed themselves or were murdered by other members of the cult. But it was all Clenis’ fault!! Truly, wingnuts will defend the indefensible like Limbaugh defending the murderous Lord’s Resistance Army because well, “Obama’s against it so I must be for it”. Nevermind those pesky facts of the LRA wiping out whole villages and kidnapping children.

     
     

    Oh, wait, wingnut. I’m sure he also thought Great Gatsby was a love letter to the 1%.

    Yep. & Ibetcha it left them hankering for a library full of uncut books that represent what all the educated people were reading, because what’s important is appearances. The rest is work that they can’t glorify because reading while appearing to be carrying a heavy cross, with a crown of thorns piercing your brow, and whips cracking at you all around just makes you look as stupid as you really are if you believe that a person can’t really being working hard if they don’t look like they’re making some kind of Christ-like sacrifice and (contrary to the actual story of Christ) making sure that everyone sees how much they suffer for their mortal bosses—

    …wingnut licks ass of guard then looks at him furtively, then lowers his eyes while hoping for some little bit of approval from the random whip-cracker and praying that the owning class will promote him to the whip-cracking level of management some starry day so that the sniveling little, groveling wingnut can have it’s turn to beat the wage slaves and treat them like they treat dogs and step-children, while being given the opportunity to stick their tongue up the ass of a CEO.

    Those wingnuts can really dream.

     
     

    Electric instruments are blocks of wood bolted and screwed together with pick-ups on them and the fine points of wood are almost entirely decorative. Yes, I include hollow bodies and semi-hollows like SG’s. I like SG’s, don’t get me wrong, but you could make it out of poplar and it would sound just as good.

    Heretic! Heretic! Burn him!

    You’ve not been to a lot of electric guitar and bass forums, have you? They’ve been a source of mirth and merriment to me as I also believe wood is of little importance, but the agonizing whether it should be walnut, pine, ash, purpleheart, with a wenge, bubinga, pao ferro fretboard, etc. have provided hours of entertainment. I’ve seen bassists with instruments that looked as though they should be living room furniture, they were that ridiculous.

    But then I’m a Fender/G&L person, so my opinion may not count. Gimme an SB-1 and a bound Telecaster and I am a happy git.

     
     

    Once had a wonderful tabby cat named “Evinrude” — “Rudy” for short.
    Purred often and loudly.

    Also had a couple Coryodoras sp. catfish named “Hoover” and “Kirby”, and another pair named Fred and Ethel Mertz.

     
     

    Electric instruments are blocks of wood bolted and screwed together with pick-ups on them and the fine points of wood are almost entirely decorative.

    Kind of makes sense. Since they’re called, you know, electric guitars that the electric parts would be what’s important.

     
     

    Miss Kitty Dolly Suki Molly Fannie Minnie Mouse Princess Cat.

    Generally referred to as “Mouse.”

     
     

    You’re welcome!

     
     

    To what, exactly, has it been added, if I may ask, you polite little robot you?

     
     

    Have some kitty names:

    Vekltigecoqa Durkee-Setup
    Daina Pledivcouddep
    Showering
    Aerial Midsts
    Oclinking Puprotigeso
    Fallowpoh Soo
    Iliana Reynalda
    Plagiarist Deknoowdir
    Bootstraps Esteban
    Crojanene Mainly
    Trembled Toym
    Mefad Leaning
    Miranda-Jung Twinkler-Ceding
    Vixpruqua Quirimugpool
    Meelmadalene Sentouw
    Peeling Sheequ
    Axle Negroizes
    Georgeann-Lawrence Simplicity
    Adventured Mildest
    Be Linwood
    Coudoffset Collarbone
    Yoyshiloh Viprrokyoyrug
    Margarett Prothfaym
    Unlocking Ropqui
    Rabbi Carlotaric Antwan
    Quoohefield Gejsam
    Whitest Neva-Clemency
    Forgivesquoufe Philosophers-Sodium
    DirWerner Bathrooms-Wrappings
    Aurally Cindi
    Lyalcraw Ricardo
    Gutinterns Hujicshay
    Queen Lining
    Ceslitigation Venetta
    Asterscoowo Utpenqueeplaqu
    Yolande Doze
    Wookdikle Clipper
    Irvingpeh Vanishing
    Karole Janyce
    Sheekplebian Ziclaytishqe
    Cimeshaykee
    Eneugenio Lootaoot
    Dewitt Substantively
    Felipa
    Disciplewool Klothcroybocrithdy
    Rossana Totaled
    Quoc Hyo
    Shoofopro Vishezoymeaq
    Bazulluh
    Great Grandma Kiddie-Corresponding
    Dr. Nicholleig Conveyor-Validate
    Dine Discordant-Bare
    Kaimab Traditions-Flocking
    Kimberely
    Badminton Iq
    Arnold Odiousness-Memorandum
    Sipeyetax Stud
    Duteshseehcloum Amos
    Participants Annul
    Waltzes Reina
    Inflation Xayypemquarmf
    Doctor Biklleeclyiwe
    Lieutenant Commander Normalcy
    Brookline Felecia
    Kuwtayp Methodical-Reminiscences
    Danial Joagniw
    Douif Brant
    Crosser Marcela
    Homogeneities Overestimated-Fit
    Kuwjachckoy Capitally
    Bazdigitized Joywegoomooprxay
    Thooqu Sov
    Elicia Fantasize
    Captain BaTylerize Stuffs
    Pastor Taypda
    Largely-Numerals
    Adjacency Relinquishes
    Juliana Azkunplej sheek
    Blistersyaqu Occasioning-Young
    Vochterrier Cleeub
    Cofactor Theodora
    Modesto Naprzonooke
    Poob Vinu
    Retta-Savannah Melodramatic-Tramples
    Plishtom Cecilia
    Latoria Chroy
    Grandpa Minstrels
    Sov
    Oda Finishers-Joystick
    Votwplibkee
    Marjory Nichole
    Eagle Straightens-Revolutions
    Earnest Proceeded-Deprivations
    Overloadro Herta
    Staff Sergeant Reassurecoo Slavize
    Xik Lachelle
    Brigette Brandee
    Darrell Rigoberto
    Lorrinemo Fopreipeyi

     
     

    Rabbi Carlotaric Antwan

    Antwan is my favorite name when spelled thus.

     
     

    Oh I can just see trying to call the cat after naming it “Blistersyaqu Occasioning-Young”.

    Not that they come when you call them anyway.

     
     

    Whose cult open fired on ATF agents killing several.

    Greedo shot first!!!

     
     

    I heard of a guy that named his two kittens trial and error. Clever, huh? I also like a friends observation that for cats everything vertical is fair game.

    It’s ba-ack</strong?. Would someone please write out explicit instructions for me to turn its comments into dancing badgers, please? If there is a program that let's you customize the pic, that would be excellent, and I'd post linkything and instructions on my website so that not only would I never need to ask again, but I myself could direct a person who has snapped and can't take it anymore to the resources (for purely unselfish reasons, of course— just want to help myself and my liberal brethren and sistren save themselves the bit of energy it takes to ignore pernicious morons who have a bone to pick and a lot of projection to project onto liberals and can't seem to get that little obsessive tic under control.

     
     

    Here’s another clue for you, nobody posts at his website, and if someone ever does, it’s not for dialogue. Go there and see for yourself.

    Mostly because I banned my only commenter.

    You.

    Coward.

     
     

    Dear Tasty Vittles:

    I never thought this would happen to a cat like me…

    Meowchickawowwow

     
     

    Kind of makes sense. Since they’re called, you know, electric guitars that the electric parts would be what’s important.

    That’s sort of what the whole trend in the 80s and 90s towards minimalist guitars was supposed to prove. You know, the tissue box bodies and all?

    Turns out a body had other purposes even on an electric, like balancing the guitar while playing it and occasionally giving a harmonic vibration that the pick ups could record. Stupid stuff that just made it more interesting to play.

     
     

    So it’s true: you really shouldn’t invoke Voldemort.

    Sorry, everyone.

     
     

    I hadn’t posted once on this thread nor in the last few days. Vacuum sealer decided to post an impression of me out of the blue because she couldn’t think of anything clever to say.

    In other words, you’re such a loser that even when you aren’t trolling blogs where you aren’t wanted, you’re lurking, spending hours reading what others have posted, just in case someone says something about you.

    I didn’t think you could be any more pathetic, Dennis. Congratulations; for once you’ve proved someone wrong.

     
     

    What kind of person goes to a party, drops trou and just takes a big stinkin’ dump in the punch bowl and wonders why everyone at the party wishes he would just go away?

     
     

    In other words, you’re such a loser that even when you aren’t trolling blogs where you aren’t wanted, you’re lurking, spending hours reading what others have posted, just in case someone says something about you.

    Sad, isn’t it?

    Poor little coward.

     
     

    What kind of person goes to a party, drops trou and just takes a big stinkin’ dump in the punch bowl and wonders why everyone at the party wishes he would just go away?

    The hint is, “His name begins with “D”, ends in “ennis,” and stands for chicken”

     
     

    Actor, you’re a congenital liar.

    I never lie, DenDen. You were banned. You had a shitfit one day that indicated to me that you might have suffered a transient ischemic attack, so out of kindness, I banned you and posted your IP in comments in the hopes that medical personnel would recognize the signs and try to find you.

    Starting to sound familiar?

     
     

    I think we have the answer to that right here on this page smedley. It’s just kind of hard to think of adequate adjectives or metaphors off the top of the head to express the big stinkin’ dump-dom of it all, and the asbergery nature of his wonderingfs.

    Yeah, vs? Please don’t invoke it no more. It’s like watching a three-legged dog with mange chasing a jet on the runway.

     
     

    Sorry, everyone

    Except me, of course 😉

     
     

    It’s like watching a three-legged dog with mange chasing a jet on the runway.

    While standing behind his mommy a quarter mile away.

     
     

    Hey, you know “It’s A Wonderful Life”? For ZuZu, not so much!

     
    Whale Chowder from his phone
     

    Homogeneities Overestimated-Fit

    Hey, how did you guess the name of my pet hamster from when I was a kid?!

     
     

    Hey, how did you guess the name of my pet hamster from when I was a kid?!

    You had an obese gay hamster?

     
     

    Pugsley Addams had an octopus named Aristotle.

     
     

    Gomez Addams had a son named “Pugsley.”

     
     

    Gomez Addams had a son named “Pugsley.”

    Let’s not let this Fester.

     
     

    Gomez Addams had a son named “Pugsley.”

    True story: His original name was to be “Pubert” but NBC rejected it.

     
     

    I’ve gone with the Bob Fossil naming scheme:

    The grey-faced plushy man
    The large mover
    The two-tone falling-over man
    The crouching wailing person

     
     

    Gomez Addams had a son named “Pugsley.”

    I was too busy looking at Morticia, even back then.

     
     

    “Oh, it was fresh and dark, about as relevant today as it was when it was made,” said Grimes, quieting a moment. “Think of all the people out of work, losing their homes, hungry kids worried about their parents. What’s so different about today and 60 years ago?”

    The rich are even richer, he classwarfared.
    ~

     
     

    When Donald Trump embraced Newt’s “Let the kids clean up their own shit at school, because hey, they’re gonna have that type of job when they grow up anyway, amirite?” plan as “apprenti,” did anyone else mishear is as “Apartheid”?

     
     

    Gomez Addams had a son named “Pugsley.”

    Let’s not let this Fester.

    Can we save the puns until Wednesday, please?

     
     

    did anyone else mishear is as “Apartheid”?

    Clearly they meant “A party”.

     
     

    Can we save the puns until Wednesday, please?

    I didn’t want to leave you in the Lurch

     
     

    Can we save the puns until Wednesday, please?

    Is this a Thing now?

     
     

    I didn’t want to leave you in the Lurch

    Slow down there, Grandpa.

     
     

    I didn’t want to leave you in the Lurch

    Slow down there, Grandpa.

    Grandpa in the Lurch. Boy, that’s gonna take some brain bleach…

     
     

    Is this a Thing now?

    Cousin, Itt is.

     
     

    Grandpa in the Lurch.

    You’re crossing the streams!
    .

     
     

    You’re crossing the streams!

    *zipping up*

    Whuh?

     
     

    You guys are a bunch of Gomez.

     
     

    Heh. It’s all coming out. People are confessing what annoys them thread-wise.

     
     

    People are confessing what annoys them thread-wise.

    Forgive me VS, for I have punned.

     
     

    People are confessing what annoys them thread-wise.

    You’ll note my curious silence on this matter.

     
     

    Hey, how did you know about that? I don’t think I’ve ever confessed it here.

    OMG, WHAT ELSE DOES HE KNOW?

     
    The Dark Avengert
     

    C’mon guys, Richmond, VA, is a boring cold city this time of the year, Dennis has to find something to do these days.

     
     

    Richmond has a very nice art museaum for a city of its size. Perhaps Dennis could go hang out there for the afternoon. He might even absorb some culture via osmosis.

     
     

    Perhaps Dennis could go hang out there for the afternoon.

    That’s less his “hanging out” place than the boy’s lockerroom. He has to wear a raincoat to the museum.

     
     

    Richmond, VA, is a boring cold city this time of the year

    See? YOu could have saved all that typing.

     
     

    Richmond, VA, is a boring cold city this time of the year

    See? YOu could have saved all that typing.

    Jokes are funnier when you do them right. Remember, kids, measure twice, cut once.

     
     

    I went to Versailles today. Talk about your wealth gap.

    I can see why Louis XVI’s last words were something like:

    “Hey! That thing looks sharp! Ow! My neck!”

     
     

    acrannymint said,

    December 6, 2011 at 4:20

    i am still trying to figure this anagram out…cuz i’m a nerd like that…and possibly compulsive…and now that i see vs’ las post about thread annoyances, i hope i haven’t just committed one…

     
     

    I went to Versailles today. Talk about your wealth gap.

    The french aristocracy was heroically preventing inflation by selflessly taking all of the excess wealth.

     
     

    Splish splash, I was takin’ a bath……………….

     
     

    and now that i see vs’ las post about thread annoyances, i hope i haven’t just committed one…

    Who hasn’t?

     
     

    I went to Versailles today. Talk about your wealth gap.

    At the rate we’re going, there is or will be a Versailles right here in the U.S. of A. very soon. We just aren’t seeing it because it’s in private hands (not a state or national park…yet).

    After the tumbrels roll, a new park will open at the tip of Long Island, a testament to the Second Gilded Age.

     
     

    After the tumbrels roll, a new park will open at the tip of Long Island, a testament to the Second Gilded Age.

    Snooki’s tan lines?

     
     

    Sign of the times. Most of the tourists I’m seeing around Paris are Chinese.

     
     

    Snooki’s tan lines?

    That’s a testament to the First Gagging Age.

     
     

    Snooki’s more or less a state park on her own from what I understand. She’s visited by crowds; Hispanic families have picnics there on weekends; there’s all sorts of wildlife in the region.

     
     

    Melodramatic-Tramples

    That’s actually a pretty good name for a cat. Or for trolls that shall not be named.

    Related, the real reason we need to keep the 1% just as it is.

     
     

    …there’s all sorts of wildlife in the region.

    Pubic lice are now classified as “wildlife”?

    I did not know.

     
     

    Best named pet from childhood: Sir Yonkers Of Bannerstone.

    A St. Bernard who’d done cameos in major Hollywood movies, & acted as much like a true diva as one can while still retaining both the ability & the inclination to lick one’s own nuts.

     
     

    I can see why Louis XVI’s last words were something like: “Hey! That thing looks sharp! Ow! My neck!”

    And then he began singing ‘I Ain’t Got No Body’.

     
     

    Would someone please write out explicit instructions for me to turn its comments into dancing badgers, please?

    Wiley, here’s how to get badgers instead of trolls (this assumes you have firefox, works for Opera too, but doesn’t require the extension and is a bit more complicated, somebody else can tell you about other browsers, probably):

    Download and install the Greasemonkey extension

    Restart your browser. After it’s restarted, make sure the little monkey drop down at the upper right shows the extension as “Enabled”

    Go here. You should see an “Install” button in the upper right corner of the page. Click it.

    That should do it.

     
     

    Best named pet from childhood: Sir Yonkers Of Bannerstone.

    As a resident of the city of Yonkers, I heartily recommend this Name of Quality.

     
     

    I smell badger. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY KNIFE?

     
     

    And then he began singing ‘I Ain’t Got No Body’.

    HA!

     
     

    From Pryme’s link…

    I find it a little strange that anyone is questioning the choice of TEH DONALDO to moderate a debate hosted by Newsmax. Who is a better choice to be the face of that operation?

     
     

    And then he began singing ‘I Ain’t Got No Body’.

    Mel Brooks would like a word with you, Snorghagen.

     
     

    I smell badger. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY KNIFE?

    Soooooo… You’re not cheering for Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl?

     
     

    Who is a better choice to be the face of that operation?

    Goatse guy?

     
     

    From here (via first the NYFuckingTimes):

    Ari Fleischer, a former press secretary for President Bush, as saying, “Donald Trump risks making a carnival out of a serious presidential campaign.”

    Yeah, because the big top, elephants, trapezes and gaggle of clowns hasn’t done that already.

     
     

    And I now see that’s the same link that Pryme posted. No need to ahem, I’ll do it myself, thankyouverymuch!

     
     

    I find it a little strange that anyone is questioning the choice of TEH DONALDO to moderate a debate hosted by Newsmax.

    I would only watch it for the Trump/Gingrich exchange. The moment one of these guys begins to argue with the other…get the popcorn.

     
     

    Pubic lice are now classified as “wildlife”?

    Damn you, madam. I was trying not to go there.

     
     

    “Yeah, because the big top, elephants, trapezes and gaggle of clowns hasn’t done that already.”

    Well, at least Trump would bring some kind of woodland creature that he wears atop his head.

     
     

    A St. Bernard who’d done cameos in major Hollywood movies, & acted as much like a true diva as one can while still retaining both the ability & the inclination to lick one’s own nuts.

    Sadly, it was my inability to do the latter that ruined any chance of stardom I might have had.

    Except, you know, in certain circles.

     
     

    Well, at least Trump would bring some kind of woodland creature that he wears atop his head.

    Lice from Snooki’s “wilderness”?

     
     

    Sadly, it was my inability to do the latter that ruined any chance of stardom I might have had.

    Well there’s your problem. The producers were asking you to lick their nuts.

     
     

    The producers were asking you to lick their nuts.

    But I did! The bowl was salty!

     
     

    Soooooo… You’re not cheering for Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl?

    DUCKS

    And don’t forget Stanford.

     
     

    “Donald Trump risks making a carnival out of a serious presidential campaign,” lamented Goofypants the clown…

     
     

    “Donald Trump risks making a carnival out of a serious presidential campaign,” lamented Goofypants the clown…

    ikr?

     
     

    and now that i see vs’ las post about thread annoyances, i hope i haven’t just committed one…

    I’ve actually always enjoyed your posts thoroughly. THOROUGHLY, I SAY!

     
     

    I’ve actually always enjoyed your posts thoroughly. THOROUGHLY, I SAY!

    as do i,yours…and i’m NOT just saying that because you have red hair and pictures and links…

     
    The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
     

    Anybody smell a Hross PEA-row-style presidential campaign by Donalde the poorly-touped? I’m currently rubbing an old brass lamp in the hopes a jinn will emerge and grant me my wish—the GOP nomination to the Newstster and Teh Donalde running as well…. Newt could maybe pull in 30%, but with Trump the Hump peeling off some of that…Man, I could die happy after witnessing that!

     
     

    True story: His original name was to be “Pubert” but NBC rejected it.

    This is SHAMEFUL censorship of art.

     
    59 Les Paul, union thug
     

    Wow, it all comes together…
    Current cats: Martin and Gibson
    Former cat (RIP): Lighnin’ Sam Hopkins
    And the type of wood DOES SO make a difference! Poopies!

     
     

    This is SHAMEFUL censorship of art.

    THAT is funneh. May I offer you an adult beverage?

     
     

    Seeing Newt pick Donaldo the Dildo as his running mate and letting him like, talk and stuff would make me a happy man. Think about just how psycho the two of these pricks would get when they felt cornered by Obama. The largest FAILFEST in the history of American politics…

     
     

    THAT is funneh. May I offer you anadult beverage?

    YES PLEASE!

     
     

    The largest FAILFEST in the history of American politics…

    and then rooty-toot newt would write a book about it and make gobs of money…

    speaking of books, did anyone see colbert’s take on cain *suspending* his campaign and how that would change the ending of his autobio? as Hross PEA-row would say, it was HI-larious!

     
     

    I’m coming down on the side of the wood type (ie–wood density) being an important factor in the sound quality of guitars.

     
     

    Is it worth mentioning that Newt and Trump have a thing for blondes?

     
     

    Is it worth mentioning that Newt and Trump have a thing for blondes?

    It would irresponsible not to speculate on the bigger meaning of this. Kennedy preferred blondes, right?

     
     

    I’m guessing Sub’s last comment sent blondes all over the world diving for cover and concealment.

     
     

    I’m currently rubbing an old brass lamp in the hopes a jinn will emerge and grant me my wish—the GOP nomination to the Newstster and Teh Donalde running as well…. Newt could maybe pull in 30%, but with Trump the Hump peeling off some of that…Man, I could die happy after witnessing that!

    That would be awesome- I imagine things would get extremely nasty extremely quickly.

    Seeing Newt pick Donaldo the Dildo as his running mate and letting him like, talk and stuff would make me a happy man

    I don’t think Trump’s ego would allow him to play second fiddle to a Newt.

     
     

    I’m guessing Sub’s last comment sent blondes all over the world diving for cover and concealment.

    Red hair color helps!

    Where’s Spearhafoc when his favorite topic comes up?

     
     

    I would just like the record to show that the key thing about those blondes is that they were all born with brown hair…she sniffed haughtily.

     
     

    I’m coming down on the side of the wood type (ie–wood density) being an important factor in the sound quality of guitars.

    I don’t care enough to argue about it, to be honest. But since there’s no microphone or piezo pickups in an ES-335, you gotta think types of wood, densities and lack or presence thereof have something to do with something, or other.

    Wha?
    .

     
     

    Anybody smell a Hross PEA-row-style presidential campaign by Donalde the poorly-touped?

    Like others, I’m just as concerned about the fact that GOP presidential candidates are now having individual meetings with the moderator of a presidential debate. I guess “conflict of interest” is just the future subtitle to the next Modern Warfare game.

     
     

    Putting wood aside and assuming you have a good quality guitar, the right amplifier and effects setup makes (by FAR) the biggest difference. When I went through my digital/Line6 phase (STFU!), I managed to make by SG sound rather lousy until I figured out how to tweak all 10 million effects in the POD.

     
     

    I would just like the record to show that the key thing about those blondes is that they were all born with brown hair

    Some of us took the U-turn.

    When I went brown is when I shaved it off.

     
     

    Putting wood aside and assuming you have a good quality guitar, the right amplifier and effects setup makes (by FAR) the biggest difference.

    But of course! I mean, I have a gutted Ibanez here with a GK-2A pickup on it (and that’s ALL) that I can plug into a VGA-3 amp, and sound like any guitar… not well, but passable.
    .

     
     

    THAT is funneh. May I offer you an adult beverage?

    I don’t mind you ripping off my signature rebuttal, but could you make it funnier? I have a reputation to live down to.

     
     

    Sometimes, a guitar is just a guitar………..

     
     

    Sometimes, a guitar is just a guitar………..

    Don’t tell Segovia that. I swear, the man musta fucked his.

     
     

    I don’t mind you ripping off my signature rebuttal, but could you make it funnier?

    Oh, garsh. I don’t think our senses of humor are simpatico, ya know?

     
     

    wood density) being an important factor in the sound quality of guitars.

    I just don’t know how the size and quality of a boner would effect how a guitar sounded.

     
     

    BTW…does everyone here know that in Herman Cain’s withdrawal speech he quoted from a Pokemon movie?

     
     

    I mean…POKEMON!!! *slaps forehead*

     
     

    Oh, garsh. I don’t think our senses of humor are simpatico, ya know?

    No, really????

    You’ll have to step up your game.

     
     

    I mean…POKEMON!!! *slaps forehead*

    i know! did you hear stewart on that? he invoked st. ronnie’s great speech where he quoted, ‘scooby, scooby doo…where are you? we got some work to do now…’ i almost peed my pants…

    and then you think of all the women on his *site** who were all like, ‘herman, you are god’s answer to our future!!!!’ and you just gotta wonder…what is it like in their world?

     
     

    The entire Republican primary race is one big Pokemon game, and as the nation laughs the next battler back into his Poke-ball, the party brings out the next one

    “Newtie-choo! I choose you!”

     
     

    Or I could borrow a joke book that was written in the 50’s.

     
     

    Oh, garsh. I don’t think our senses of humor are simpatico, ya know?

    No, really????

    You’ll have to step up your game.

    one way women are funnier? we don’t always have to bring the peen…

     
     

    I just don’t know how the size and quality of a boner would effect how a guitar sounded.

    It’s not called Cock Rock for nothing.

     
     

    Or I could borrow a joke book that was written in the 50?s.

    At least you’d be doing something with your life 😉

     
     

    and whoever remarked earlier that wp’s not refreshing after hitting submit sucking donkey balls was certainly correct…

     
     

    I mean…POKEMON!!! *slaps forehead*

    He had quoted from it in one of the debates! That was the whole reference. “Some poet once said…”
    .

     
     

    one way women are funnier? we don’t always have to bring the peen…

    Who said this was a gender issue?

     
     

    He had quoted from it in one of the debates! That was the whole reference. “Some poet once said…”

    Donna Summer’s been called many things, but poet?

     
     

    He had quoted from it in one of the debates! That was the whole reference. “Some poet once said…

    and after the mockery he took then, wouldn’t you think he would be bright enough to NOT DO IT AGAIN!!! but then again, his whole campaign was just one big long crazy bread commercial, so i guess we can’t expect too much…maybe being jesus’ answer for the u.s. is harder than we think…

     
     

    Who said this was a gender issue?

    oh, settle down…i didn’t say it was…just noting the differences between what males and females find funneh…and men always bring it back to the peen…which, really when i think about it, i find peen’s incredibly funneh…

     
     

    but then again, his whole campaign was just one big long crazy bread commercial, so i guess we can’t expect too much…

    It just amazes me how well Sacha Baron Cohen can stay in character for that long, in what is obviously extensive makeup.
    .

     
     

    From here (via first the NYFuckingTimes):

    Ari Fleischer, a former press secretary for President Bush guano faucet, as saying, “Donald Trump risks making a carnival out of a serious presidential campaign.”

    Yeah, because the big top, elephants, trapezes and gaggle of clowns hasn’t done that already.

    fixxoerd

     
     

    i find peen’s incredibly funneh

    When I can find mine, it is!

     
     

    you think of all the women on his *site** who were all like, ‘herman, you are god’s answer to our future!!!!’ and you just gotta wonder…what is it like in their world?

    I think a lot of these wingnuts live in a sort of weird bubble where they really have no idea idea what’s going on around them. So I can seem not only being blissfully ignorant, but just genuinely blissful. I know I’ve brought this up several times here, but there is some study somewhere–I can’t say whether it’s reliable or whatever–that says that wingnutty people tend to be happier. I can see that. I really can.

     
     

    i find peen’s incredibly funneh…

    That’s because it looks like after they invented men they had some extra parts left over.

    “Hey what are we gonna do with these extra pieces? Well I guess we could just stick ’em here. It’s as good a place as anywhere else.”

     
     

    I just don’t know how the size and quality of a boner would effect how a guitar sounded.

    If it’s insufficiently hard, it’s impossible to use as a slide.

     
     

    It’s not called Cock Rock for nothing.

    Oh yeah…btw, do men playing guitar still do that “I’m playing a guitar but I’m also kind of giving you the high hard one” move, or did that go out of fashion by the ’90’s?

    DID YOU ever do that move?

    OK, I just made myself laugh at the thought.

     
     

    It just amazes me how well Sacha Baron Cohen can stay in character for that long, in what is obviously extensive makeup.

    SERIOUSLY.

     
     

    Noooo that move never goes out of style. Chix DIG IT

     
     

    you think of all the women on his *site** who were all like, ‘herman, you are god’s answer to our future!!!!’ and you just gotta wonder…what is it like in their world?

    oh, yeah…i got distracted…and * was a vyfitbr…veiled whatever you fill in the blank reference…

     
     

    I know I’ve brought this up several times here, but there is some study somewhere–I can’t say whether it’s reliable or whatever–that says that wingnutty people tend to be happier. I can see that. I really can.

    I don’t think they’re happier- if they were truly happy, why would they continuously try to shit all over people who just want a shot at a happy life free from harassment? Shit, look at the resident troll- does he seem for one moment like he doesn’t hate his life?

     
     

    I don’t think they’re happier- if they were truly happy,

    i think your average every day joe wingnut is happier…but the power wingnuts, those are the dangerous angry ones…

     
     

    Shit, look at the resident troll- does he seem for one moment like he doesn’t hate his life?

    yes…

     
     

    “Newtie-choo! I choose you!”

    The Internet, Ladies and Germs

    In fairness to me, I only got past level one of the first Gameboy game.

     
     

    Shit, look at the resident troll- does he seem for one moment like he doesn’t hate his life?

    I think he enjoys himself because he thinks (mistakenly) that he is pwning us.

     
     

    If it’s insufficiently hard, it’s impossible to use as a slide.

    The little blue pill makes it go to eleven.

     
     

    DID YOU ever do that move?

    I make the funny faces. COMPLETELY INVOLUNTARY.

     
     

    I think he enjoys himself because he thinks (mistakenly) that he is pwning us.

    Based on last night’s conversation…some are.

     
     

    I make the funny faces. COMPLETELY INVOLUNTARY.

    You did it to look cool–ADMIT IT.

     
     

    I make the funny faces.

    That entire page and only one Joe Walsh?

     
     

    I make the funny faces. COMPLETELY INVOLUNTARY.

    ha…i never thought it would happen to me, but this is my favorite guitar face…he makes it look so hard!!!

     
     

    Oh yeah, I’m totally as cool as Eddie Hazel. Have I mentioned that?

     
     

    Based on last night’s conversation…some are.

    hey!!! there was a conversation last night?!?!? and i wasn’t invited?!?!? wth people?!?!

     
     

    ha…i never thought it would happen to me, but this is my favorite guitar face…he makes it look so hard!!!

    Hardcore…but not as hardcore as THIS!

     
     

    I am proud to say I have totally seen that Spongebob. And I have no excuse for it. I wasn’t even pregnant then.

     
     

    “Hey what are we gonna do with these extra pieces? Well I guess we could just stick ‘em here. It’s as good a place as anywhere else.”’

    I find the location perfectly handy. Thankful not to be a t-rex.

     
     

    Hardcore…but not as hardcore as THIS!

    i also get very pissy when my hair is in knots…totes have to share that one with the son…

     
     

    Is it worth mentioning that Newt and Trump have a thing for blondes?
    Only if you go on to ask rhetorically who else liked Blondi (whose natural hair colour was really brown).

     
     

    Thankful not to be a t-rex.

    I’d like to order your drugs, please.

     
     

    Hey what are we gonna do with these extra pieces? Well I guess we could just stick ‘em here. It’s as good a place as anywhere else

    Y’know, there are times it looks like clay…

     
     

    I am proud to say I have totally seen that Spongebob. And I have no excuse for it. I wasn’t even pregnant then.

    i have seen ALL the spongebobs…and yet, this is still the best spongebob EVAR!

     
     

    I think he enjoys himself because he thinks (mistakenly) that he is pwning us.

    Nah, he bitches too much about the hot tub club, and that’s a “tell”. I think his real problem is that the real hot tub club, the rich people he longs to fellate, don’t give a rat’s ass about his existence. If he even got to within a mile of their hot tub club, he’d be thrown out on his ass my a couple of big mooks.

     
     

    i think your average every day joe wingnut is happier…but the power wingnuts, those are the dangerous angry ones…

    This. The average person, wingnut included, doesn’t spend their entire life in political conversations or on blogs, much less trolling. The guys in their media and the trolls we get here, yes, I could see them being very unhappy people, but the average voter out there? Nah. As far as they go, I believe VS’s study.

     
     

    As far as they go, I believe VS’s study.

    exactly…ingnorance is bliss…

     
     

    Nah, he bitches too much about the hot tub club, and that’s a “tell”. I think his real problem is that the real hot tub club, the rich people he longs to fellate, don’t give a rat’s ass about his existence.

    But the hot tub club he bitches about are the regulars, here, who refuse to accept him as a member. That’s what really gets to him — that you folx don’t love him.
    .

     
     

    I think his real problem is that the real hot tub club, the rich people he longs to fellate, don’t give a rat’s ass about his existence.

    Well there’s one issue where I stand with the 1%ers.

     
     

    And the type of wood DOES SO make a difference!

    The best wood is harvested first thing in the morning.

     
     

    The best wood is harvested first thing in the morning.

    It is hard to beat.
    .

     
     

    that you folx don’t love him

    hey now, what’s this *you folx” crap…i consider you a regular…just because your cats leave hair in the hot tub, doesn’t mean you aren’t a member, buddy!

     
     

    Nah, he bitches too much about the hot tub club, and that’s a “tell”.

    He needs his mommy to bathe him?

     
     

    The best wood is harvested first thing in the morning.

    the sun also rises…

     
     

    The best wood is harvested first thing in the morning.

    It is hard to beat.

    No it’s not! In fact it’s right there and I don’t even need my glasses to see–

    Oh.

    Well, yes. I suppose it is.

     
     

    The best wood is harvested first thing in the morning.

    the sun also rises…

    And the buns.

    Until they set.

     
     

    Burdell 2012!

    I pledge that I will be there to serve either the Republicans or the Democrats whenever they call on me.

     
     

    And the buns.

    Until they set.

    i thought that was jello?

     
     

    As far as they go, I believe VS’s study.

    I don’t know that they’re actually any happier. I’ll buy that they say they’re happier. They might even have convinced themselves they’re happier. And while it certainly makes life easier to be able to chuck all real responsibility for your actions off onto your invisible super-friend, and think that all you need to do to make right all your transgressions against mankind is to ask forgiveness from said super-friend and it will automatically be granted, regardless of what the actually wronged people think, I suspect that somewhere down deep most of these people have some idea of what is truly right and wrong, and I bet it eats at them.

    I think that the study will have suffered from some self reporting bias. Kind of like how studies show that the average young American male reports having five or ten times as many heterosexual partners as the average American young female.

    If you are trained to think that being unhappy is some inherent problem with you, you’ll “be happy” a lot more. If your training allows that your unhappiness may be caused by the world being fucked up, you might just try to go change some shit, and expect some real happiness as a result.

     
     

    i consider you a regular…

    I do not wish to presume. 🙂
    .

     
     

    i thought that was jello?

    That can be useful…

     
     

    I suspect that somewhere down deep most of these people have some idea of what is truly right and wrong, and I bet it eats at them

    It could just be as simple as being underinformed. One of the things I noted when Air America went on the air (and the blogs at that website opened up) was the large, even outsized, percentage of red state people who would come on and say “It’s not just me?”

    I think there’s a social inertia where the loudest voice gets an undue sway over what gets perceived as popular opinion.

     
     

    one way women are funnier? we don’t always have to bring the peen…

    Hey, it’s not like I can just leave it at home!

     
     

    you think of all the women on his *site** who were all like, ‘herman, you are god’s answer to our future!!!!’ and you just gotta wonder…what is it like in their world?

    I suspect that they were really all one guy.

     
     

    I suspect that they were really all one guy.

    i sincerely hope so…i would rather not share genderhood with those types of *women*…

     
     

    You know who else did a study?

    Yes, it was Rutgers, good guess!

     
     

    You know who else did a study?

    Hm.

    I would have thought it went deeper. Harder. FASTER! YES! YES! YES!

     
     

    I would have thought it went deeper. Harder. FASTER! YES! YES! YES!

    This assumption is based on my research at FUCK U.

     
     

    He also noted that females are much more resistant to pain during climax.

    I do not want to speculate about this line of research. Not even a twin study.

     
     

    I do not want to speculate about this line of research. Not even a twin study.

    Nipple clamps?

     
     

    A little help here?

     
     

    First they came for the skeletal orcs, and I did not speak out because I was not a skeletal orc;
    Then they came for the anatosauruses, and I did not speak out because I was not an anatosaurus;
    Then they came for the divine guardian zombies, and I did not speak out because I was not a divine guardian zombie;
    Then they came for the scintillating wyrmlings, and I did not speak out because I was not a scintillating wyrmling;
    Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak out for me.

     
     

    Then they came for the divine guardian zombies, and I did not speak out because I was not a divine guardian zombie;

    WELL I AM, AND I DO NOT THINK THIS IS FUNNY.

     
     

    But the hot tub club he bitches about are the regulars, here, who refuse to accept him as a member.

    It would be easier if he didn’t pee in the tub all the time.

     
     

    Regularity and hot tubs. Discuss.

     
     

    Channeling Doofasaurus Rex:

    i sincerely hope so…i would rather not share genderhood with those types of *women*…

    HMMPH! ON A SNARK BLOG?

     
     

    I DO NOT THINK THIS IS FUNNY.

    I’ve never heard a zombie laugh. Do yous think anything is funny?

     
     

    Going back to exotic pet names, we have a Shepherd-Husky mix named Meillough, but we shortened it to “Milo”, since it was easier for him to spell (he’s not a very bright dog)

     
     

    Do yous think anything is funny?

    Zombies on COD Black Ops laugh. Then they EAT YER BRANES. Unless you shoot them, of course.

    You can be John Kennedy or Bob McNamara and gun down zombies all day long.

     
     

    we have a Shepherd-Husky mix

    We have a Shepherd / Malamute / Border Collie mix. I call him a Malamutt.

    He was originally named Spaz (I am not making this up). When we rescued him from the asshats who “owned” him, he answered to Butch, given to him by my father-in-law, and that has stuck.

     
     

    Do yous think anything is funny?

    This article on the glories of a privatized firefighting system made me grin in a rather lopsided way.

     
     

    WP has designated my last two jokey-posts as unlawful combatants & presumably has custody of them at an undiscosed location.

    Which may or may not be a hamster farm.

     
     

    Which may or may not be a hamster farm.

    Say “hi” to Homogeneities Overestimated-Fit for me!

     
     

    WP has designated my last two jokey-posts as unlawful combatants & presumably has custody of them at an undiscosed location.

    That’s funny, the ones with goatse links ALWAYS post. Try it!

     
     

    This article on the glories of a privatized firefighting system made me grin in a rather lopsided way.

    The day is not too far off where someone’s house burns down due to a clerical error.

    Firefighter: We can not put out your housfire because you haven’t paid.
    Homeowner: I have paid! I would show you my reciept, but I lost it in the fire.

     
     

    Nice house ya got there… pity if anything happened to it…

     
     

    “That’s funny, the ones with goatse links ALWAYS post. Try it!”

    WP reveals its disturbing predilections.

     
     

    i find peen’s incredibly funneh…

    People who’ve never actually driven an Eldorado think THEY’RE funny, too………

     
     

    “Driving the El Dorado”

    (I think this works better as a V-female-M-R. Don’t ask me why)

     
     

    persuaded female volunteers to achieve orgasm while in the confines of an MRI scanner.
    Sheesh. I have a hard enough time persuading females to achieve orgasm as it is.

     
     

    Don’t tell Segovia that. I swear, the man musta fucked his.

    If it’d ejaculated out the headstock it woulda been the best show evah! When Prince did it, I thought, “heh, cute”.

     
     

    Aw. One of the Atriots sent me a lovely gift of delicious food from Honeybaked Ham.

    I have some wonderful friends, online.
    .

     
     

    You’d think the meatspace ones would bring you the ham.

     
     

    Also & too, I subscribe to the Dave Edmunds school: “I can make one guitar sound as crummy as the next”.

     
     

    persuaded female volunteers to achieve orgasm while in the confines of an MRI scanner.

    Wait,, don’t you have to lay perfectly still in one of those things?

    Geez, they should’ve got my ex-wife for this study!1!!1!

     
     

    You’d think the meatspace ones would bring you the ham.

    Naw. People who actually KNOW me HATE me!
    .

     
     

    Worrying the shaman.
    Jesting the mockery bugs.
    Wringing the wightlord warrior.
    Bouncing the gender-bending.
    Ringing the shadowraven.
    Compressing the work.
    Ringing the tuna.
    Flinging the imagery.
    Investing the giant carnivorous tube worm.
    Beginning the giant magpie.
    Pinning the alchemical child.

     
     

    Flinging the imagery.

    I hate it when the imagery gets all over everything. Whatta mess.

     
    The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
     

    one way women are funnier?

    Do I have to say it? Funbags! And if your name is “Funbags”, you can even make Attorney-General!

     
     

    Bugs are bad enough as is, when they mock you they’re doubly unpleasant.

     
     

    I didn’t want to leave you in the Lurch.

    What?

    What?

    Oh.

    Lurching Looch Lurks.

     
     

    Sheesh. I have a hard enough time persuading females to achieve orgasm as it is.

    Seems you’re missing some essential equipment.

    I mean, you need to get an MRI machine.

     
     

    The day is not too far off where someone’s house burns down due to a clerical error.

    Terry Gilliam originally made this a plot point in Brazil, but changed it because it was too ludicrous.

     
     

    Bugs are bad enough as is, when they mock you they’re doubly unpleasant.

    Scream and jump up on the couch. That’ll show ’em.

     
     

    I related to you all the tribulations I endured on Sunday with the flat tire. Yes, it had to be replaced. But that’s not the story.

    I got the car back yesterday and was out working today, and kept smelling what smelled like woodsmoke coming in through the heater vents. And I’m thinking, oh crap, now the fucker’s going to burn up, because I had smelled the same smell when driving it in the past week but had dismissed it as coming from outside. Nope, today it was clearly coming from under the hood. But no sign of overheating on the gauge. So I pull into the drive, pop the hood…and find all these acorn shells on the manifold.

    It’s those fucking chipmunk bastards! One of them has figured out it’s WARM up there and has been using the engine comparment as a personal dining room.

    So, the good news is my car isn’t about to explode…the bad news may end up being for the chipmunk, if he happens to be up in there when I need to take off.

     
     

    It’s those fucking chipmunk bastards!

    I bet it’s the fucking squirrels. Bastards tried to eat my house.

     
     

    Nice house ya got there… pity if anything happened to it…

    Hey, worked for Crassus.

     
     

    One of them has figured out it’s WARM up there

    Make a little trap in there and you get an hors d’oeuvre after the end of a long drive. Tasty!

     
     

    Stay classy Obion County Fire Department. Merry X-Mas!

     
     

    the tribulations I endured on Sunday with the flat tire.

    Hey by the way, the little gouges you had in that tire? Could be it was underinflated, could also be a bad alignment. When’s the last time you had your alignment checked? Having it right (and checking tire pressure) will extend the life of your tires and maybe yourself too.

    Also.

     
     

    “Scream and jump up on the couch. That’ll show ‘em.”

    Hey, now…I would never jump on the couch.

     
     

    Breaking news! VS is not Tom Cruise.

     
     

    No, I’m pretty sure it’s not the fucking squirrels. For one thing, squirrels don’t typically go into enclosed spaces on or adjacent to the ground. They’ll go in the attic, but not in the crawlspace.

    For another, this neighborhood is just lousy with chipmunks. The cat polishes off 2 per month on average, but the fuckers are still all over the place.

    Last, there’s very little room between the mainfold and the hood – it would be perfectly comfortable for a chipmunk, but uncomfortably tight for a squirrel, who definitely would not be able to eat in the preferred position while sitting on the manifold. So I lean towards chipmunks over squirrels as the culprits, though the only thing I know for sure is that it’s not the fuching ferrets.

     
     

    Oh yeah? Then explain my awkward marriage to Katie Holmes.

     
     

    Whale Chowder – turns out the tire had a cut on the tread, so yes, I drove on it with it underinflated without knowing it.

     
     

    I WANT to blame the skwirls, Jennifer.

    Those bastards.

     
     

    Oh yeah? Then explain my awkward marriage to Katie Holmes.

    This was particularly LOLsome, coming after Jennifers Chipmunk Logic.

     
     

    vacuumslayertse said,
    December 7, 2011 at 2:24

    Oh yeah? Then explain my awkward marriage to Katie Holmes.

    Two beards can’t fit one person…on the face.

     
     

    “Oh yeah? Then explain my awkward marriage to Katie Holmes.

    This was particularly LOLsome, coming after Jennifers Chipmunk Logic.”

    I thought it was a decent joke on its own…but, you’re right, after all the squirrel and ‘munk talk, it’s surreal and hilarious.

     
     

    I almost posted a comment asking vs if Tom Cruise was closeted chipmunk.

     
     

    Too bad you’re a humorless femisomething.

     
     

    BTW, the good Roger Ailes posted what may be one of the funniest comments in the history of the tubes. So good I had to give it a post.

     
     

    Cruise’s chipmunk tendencies are not closeted: they’re on display for all.

     
     

    Cruise’s chipmunk tendencies are not closeted: they’re on display for all.

    You say that, but it’s not like he hasn’t tried to keep his love for nibbling on nuts a secret.

     
     

    we loved the dogs until we came home one day to the great duckling and chick massacre of ’75

    My dog killed a chicken once and my father forced the carcass into her mouth and tied it shut for 24 hours.

     
     

    Shit, look at the resident troll- does he seem for one moment like he doesn’t hate his life?

    I f’ing love my life, B^4. Couldn’t be happier.

    What kinda bums me out is reading people talking about how depressed they are, many to the point of suicide. That’s what you should be discussing, how to bring them out of it, your online friends…how to make them more confident in their abilities to be successful. Instead you relish in your speculation about me. I’m doing fine, better than I ever dreamed I could do. More fortunate than I ever imagined. Great family, awesome friends, nice career. It’s not luck, and I’m not happy that people here are so downtrodden, like you seem to be fantasizing about me. That’s fucking weird. Fucked up people with fucked up lives hoping that other people are just as fucked up as they are.

    Such is the way it is on this snark blog, though.

     
     

    The closest things I have to pets are my trees:

    Golda, the Meyer Lemon
    Oscar, the Key Lime (after the Grouch, because he’s prickly. Or after Oscar Meyer, to go with Golda. I tried to work out a good, sensible rationale one time, but then it got late, and they are trees.)

     
     

    The Dark Avenger said,

    December 6, 2011 at 19:02

    C’mon guys, Richmond, VA, is a boring cold city this time of the year, Dennis has to find something to do these days.

    DA, you live right acrioss the street from a fucking cemetary in East Porterville, CA, a shit neighborhood in a shit town in the shit desert of the shittiest part of California, where 15% unemployment would be considered an economic boom, where your next door neighbors leave their plastic chairs out on the front lawn…..permanently! You get up to make your wife coffee and feed the dogs, then you hang out on blogs and google obscure trivia all day long to appear informed and semi-intelligent. You needn’t worry about whether I’m bored or not in Richmond, VA, home of not one, but two NCAA Sweet 16 hoops teams.

    And it’s been in the 70’s here for the last 3 weeks.

     
     

    Fucked up people with fucked up lives hoping that other people are just as fucked up as they are.

    Shouldn’t be so harsh on the Republican Party, Mary.

     
     

    Cruise’s chipmunk tendencies are not closeted: they’re on display for all.

    n_b is an authority on this subject, Jennifer. *cough* furry*cough*

     
     

    If you didn’t chew the fur you wouldn’t be coughing.

     
     

    Chewing the fur

     
     

    Confessing the iron wyrm.
    Spinning the void.
    Growing the Baalzebul.
    Compressing the steam weevil.
    Sprouting the standardization.
    Squealing the ghost hound.
    Destroying the lesser iron golem.
    Confessing the cuscus.
    Slinging the anecdote.
    Tormenting the lightning bolt.
    Singing the controversy.

     
     

    Let’s see, we have euphemisms, nyms, recipes, pet comments and names…. If we got two or three computers doing Janusnode, Sadly, No comment threads could be self-generating.

    If you could get them to sample from the troll-comments, it could keep the trolls busy for weeks. And we could go gambol and frolic somewhere else!

    Of course, eventually Substance would sneak in a goatse link, and it would all go to hell again, but it could be nice for a while.

     
     

    gamboling and frolicking.

     
     

    Wouldn’t Janusnode goatse require an animal similar to a crocagator only with two rear ends instead of two mouths?

     
     

    Cruise’s chipmunk tendencies are not closeted: they’re on display for all.

    Plus, he’s definitely small enough to fit under your car’s hood.

     
     

    You sing the controversy when teaching it just isn’t enough.
    I need an ID song to sing.

     
     

    Wouldn’t Janusnode goatse require an animal similar to a crocagator only with two rear ends instead of two mouths?

    start drinking at dinner, N__B?

     
     

    Janus had two faces, one forward and one back. Combine that with goatse…

     
     

    Oh Sweet! A new target for zrm’s derision!

     
     

    Actually, now that I think aout it, it wouldn’t be that hard to use Janusnode to automate Substance comments. Some standard snark phrases, and an occasional recipe or link to repulsive porn sites, and you’d be set!

    In fact, it might be hard to prove that this hasn’t already happened. PASSES THE TURING TEST!!!

     
     

    Passing the Turing Test.

     
     

    Janus had two faces, one forward and one back. Combine that with goatse…

    Jeez, already linked that one.

     
     

    Automating the Substance.

     
     

    Some standard snark phrases

    SPUTTER!

     
     

    Yanno, Janusnode could serve for me too. Just sample a bunch of Cure lyrics, add the occasional music reference, and every third comment mentioning the Mekons….

     
     

    Standard snark?!!!!!!!! Substance owes me several keyboards/monitors!

    And sometimes he links to cute stuff.

     
     

    And sometimes he links to cute stuff.

    Are we talking about Substance McGravitas? The guy who did away with Righteous Bubba?

     
     

    Shouldn’t be so harsh on the Republican Party, Mary.

    We’re the happy ones, don’t you remember? Vacuumpacker was pretty sure of it and you guys confirmed her hypothesis, anyways.

     
     

    Substance owes me several keyboards/monitors!

    He’ll probably give you Canadian ones, which run on loonies.

     
     

    Not maple leaf grounds?

     
     

    No, that would be if Dragon-King gave them to you, they would run on LEAFS SUCK.

     
     

    Sorry I only have substandard snark today, I’m waiting for the fresh shipment from the coast tomorrow.

     
     

    I admit I skipped to the end upon reading the shorter. I have a cat named Ceridwyn because I believe in naming pets after deities.

     
     

    Sorry I only have substandard snark today, I’m waiting for the fresh shipment from the coast tomorrow.

    I know how you feel buddy, I got sent to the corner for making an actor-like joke over at Smut’s place.

     
     

    Non-christian deities. Although Lucifer Sam may be a candidate if I get another male

     
     

    I also have Sam – various between Chris Cooper’s character in Lonestar and Sam Gamgee
    Tessa (aka Tess) – yes I used to watch Highlander
    Boris (aka Boris good kitty) – pre-named

     
     

    My guys are Curly and LarryElvis, and you can click my name! Click my name!
    .

     
     

    DA, you live right acrioss the street from a fucking cemetary in East Porterville, CA, a shit neighborhood in a shit town in the shit desert of the shittiest part of California, where 15% unemployment would be considered an economic boom, where your next door neighbors leave their plastic chairs out on the front lawn

    I thought you went to graduate school, Dennis, and you can’t even spell across or cemetery(spelling tip: it’s all e’s and a y at the end.)

    🙂

    And, as you can see in this street view, there is only one person on the street who has more than one can out, the rest are green trash that were picked up on a Tuesday and people haven’t come home from work yet to put them back on their property.

    You live in an apartment or condo that looks like shit, you don’t have a backyard to grow anything in, and you’re too cowardly to register to comment on my blog.

    Tell me my landline number, Dennis, it’s listed under a version of my name because I bought this place 5 years before 9/11.

    It’s risible that you don’t have the guts to call me up and tell me these faults of mine person to person on my cell phone. Chicken much, Dennis?

    Go jump into Swan Lake

    What kinda bums me out is reading people talking about how depressed they are, many to the point of suicide.

    Too bad you’re not one of them.

    I’m doing fine, better than I ever dreamed I could do. More fortunate than I ever imagined. Great family, awesome friends, nice career.

    Which is why you’re on this blog, bitching about my neighborhood when you couldn’t realize that Google updated their picture since you ranted about it on my blog so many moons ago.

    You get up to make your wife coffee and feed the dogs, then you hang out on blogs and google obscure trivia all day long to appear informed and semi-intelligent.

    You don’t make your wife coffee, do you, Dennis?

    How are your kids, Dennis? Would they agree with what you write here?

    Do they know anything about what you write here?

    Would your sister be proud of you and what you write here?

    You needn’t worry about whether I’m bored or not in Richmond, VA, home of not one, but two NCAA Sweet 16 hoops teams.

    Yes, because NCAA teams are the zenith of a civilized city.

    And it’s been in the 70?s here for the last 3 weeks.

    Yeah, 57 last Sunday, 54 last Saturday, 61 on Friday and 54 on Thursday.

    Hardly in the 70s, dolt, not even for the rest ofThe week:

    Tonight
    Chance of Showers Tonight: Cloudy. A chance of showers this evening…Then rain likely after midnight. Lows in the upper 50s. South winds 5 to 10 mph. Chance of rain 70 percent.

    Wednesday Dec 7
    Rain Day: Periods of rain. Highs in the mid 60s. Temperature falling into the upper 50s in the afternoon. South winds 5 to 10 mph…Becoming northeast in the afternoon. Chance of rain 90 percent.
    Night: Rain until early morning. Breezy and not as warm with lows in the mid 30s. North winds 15 to 20 mph…Becoming northwest after midnight. Chance of rain near 100 percent.

    Thursday Dec 8
    Sunny Day: Sunny. Not as warm with highs in the upper 40s. Northwest winds 5 to 10 mph.
    Night: Partly cloudy. Highs in the lower 50s. Lows in the lower 30s.

    Friday Dec 9
    Partly Cloudy Day: Partly cloudy. Highs in the lower 50s. Lows in the lower 30s.

    Saturday Dec 10
    Mostly Sunny Day: Mostly sunny. Highs in the mid 40s.

    Enjoy the rain and 40s temps, Dennis, it suits your character.

     
     

    I remember the study vs was talking about. It had some severe methodological problems, most obvious being relying entirely on self-reporting rather than standard methods of determining happiness. Follow ups actually looking at it found that surprise surprise, conservative report that they are happier, whereas more liberal societies show the most actual happiness.

    And really, I was thinking about it, why wouldn’t conservatives be “happier”? I mean, let’s just leave off the whole ignorance is bliss thing and just look at the numbers. Conservatives tend to be way more privileged, not a member of hated minority groups, or groups suffering genuine oppression, and often make up wealthier groups like the 1%, retirees with strong safety nets, and of course upper-to-middle class white folks.

    Yeah, those folks would expect to have less real problems in their lives impairing happiness. I mean, I know that the deer-in-the-headlights panic of how I plan on paying rent in a couple of months, worrying about which friends are about to become homeless, the way unemployment kicks your ass emotionally, or hell, dealing with being a hated minority in this country (where the notion that you should be allowed to be employed or allowed housing is “radical insanity” much less whether you should be allowed to live and exist with “normal people”).

    And that’s before you realize that liberals are the group with the empathy to empathize and care about the suffering of others.

    That conservatives aren’t living examples of those Viagra commercials, but end up living these mean, repressed lives where they obsess about whether or not people just trying to survive “have been to a hot tub” or “had the wrong type of sex” or anything else that the conservative feels they shouldn’t have, rather shows that all things being considered, the liberal way of living one’s life certainly is better for you.

    I mean, listen to any conservative pundit whine about what they think are problems or oppression. It makes you long to have a life so utterly devoid of hardship and strife that you can afford to worry about fictional bullshit and the like.

    I know I do.

    And it’s especially eye-opening for me, coming from the Official Happiest Place on Earth (Denmark) and being thrust back into the mincing machine of bitter resentments and people caught in the gears that is modern America. You can taste how bad it is.

    And maybe that’s why conservatives need to see the rest of us suffering so, to make them feel better about turning lives of privilege into unending hells where smirking over the pain of others is the only thing that gets them hard anymore.

     
     

    My neighbors used name their cats after exits on the Powhite parkway in Richmond. They wanted me to change Boris’ name to Croaker Norge.
    A cat they adopted had a bunch of kittens that they named:
    Pyewacket, Graymalkin, two I don’t remember and my favorite, Chicken Chow Mein.

     
     

    Graymalkin

    Is that the wingnut into cheerleader cosplay?

     
     

    Is that the wingnut into cheerleader cosplay?

    You’re gonna have to be more specific.

     
     

    Shopworn this thread is.

     
     

    Is that the wingnut into cheerleader cosplay?

    You’re gonna have to be more specific.

    “It will be dark…down at the docks…I better bring my big spoon.”

     
     

    Is that the wingnut into cheerleader cosplay?
    Traditional witches familiar’s name as is Pyewacket

     
     

    Pyewacket

    Was their inspiration the historical one or cinematic one?

     
     

    I suggested from the movie Bell Book and Candle but is is a from a real witchcraft case

     
     

    I actually convinced people where I used to work to name some heavy duty servers after foreign gods. Thor, Loki and Bastet are ones that I remember

     
     

    Christ on a crutch, it’ll be another 200 or 300 yrs. before any American can truly be called a philosopher. And I’m not guaranteeing there’ll be any legit candidates then, either.

     
     

    MB, my vote is for Aldo Leopold.

     
     

    What about Peirce?

     
     

    What about Peirce?

    Don’t forget to Reince your Priebus.
    .

     
     

    I’ll put in a vote for Dewey. The educator, not the governor or admiral.

     
     

    Put your Priebus away! PUT YOUR PRIEBUS AWAY!
    .

     
     

    No, that would be if Dragon-King gave them to you, they would run on LEAFS SUCK.

    In my defense, teh Leafs suck. Speaking of cat names, since this is teh Intarcats- Chairman Meow.

     
     

    What about that great American philosopher Glenn Beck? / wingnut

     
     

    Seriously though I would also put in a vote for Thoreau.

     
    The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
     

    What about Peirce?

    I so seldom get to Ahem.

     
     

    Shit, the way things are going, if this country manages to survive another 200 or 300 years, the greatest philosopher it will manage to produce will be Mediocrates.

     
     

    Since it’s Zappadan, perhaps we can nominate Frank as an American Philosopher.

     
     

    Zappa might also be a good name for a cat.

     
     

    Dragon King, I am not familiar with the work of “404 Not Found”.

     
     

    Sweet IPU, VEVO you fucking suck. If youère not going to share teh video, WHY GIVE ME A FUCKING LINK!

    VEVO-less link.

     
     

    Zappa was smarter than some philosophy professors I have met.

     
     

    D-K W, didja start drinking early today?

     
     

    I’m adjusting to life with teething.

     
     

    Back in Saskatoon at (no, SRSLY) ‘The Riviera’ we had a budgie named Zappa. I still have a double-exposure (done on purpose with an old Instamatic) of the wee freak somewhere.

    Happy Zappadan!

     
     

    Okay one moar time. I can’t believe I’ve forgotten how to type.

     
     

    Wasn’t “Wee Freak” an EP from Zappa?

     
     

    “It will be dark…down at the docks…I better bring my big spoon.”

    YES!!

    Truly, Tony Randall’s finest moment.

     
     

    OK, not to be immodest, but this sentence is what made me America’s greatest philosopher:

    “Everything’s made out of shit & we’re all dying.”

    It’s copyrighted, so don’t be tempted, dying shit-composites.

     
     

    OK, not to be immodest, but this sentence is what made me America’s greatest philosopher:

    Also, the fact you do moving pictures of your own turds. Hey, it puts you in the august company of George Lucas and Michael Bay!

     
     

    You know what would be fun? If the wingnuts actually read Tom Paine.

     
     

    ,,, or Adam Smith?

     
     

    True…

     
     

    You know what would be fun? If the wingnuts actually read Tom Paine.

    FTFY

     
     

    You know what would be fun? If the wingnuts actually read Tom Paine.

    Or the Bible beyond Leviticus and Revelation.

     
     

    Thor, Loki and Bastet are ones that I remember

    I name all my cars after Egyptian gods/esses. My current one is Bast(et). I’ve also driven Horus (A Taurus, so it fit) and Isis.

     
     

    …or John Stuart Mill?

    (we’re gonna start that drinking song again, aren’t we?)

     
     

    I f’ing love my life, B^4. Couldn’t be happier.

    Yes, because people who have to say they *fucking* love their life really love their life.

    I see the coward showed up again last night. The undereducated, banned coward.

    DenDen, you are owned. Now, get me coffee. Black, two sugars.

    Anyone else want some coffee? I’m sending the slave.

     
     

    Vacuumpacker was pretty sure of it and you guys confirmed her hypothesis, anyways.

    Yes, we confirmed: Ignorance is bliss.

    You demonstrate that daily.

     
     

    I don’t know why they’re always so unhappy. One of the guys in my crash-pad is that way.

    He’s a fairly senior 777 First Officer, so he makes somewhere between $160-$170k.

    Whenever he’s at the crash-pad he sits around watching (you guessed it) Fox News all day and bitching about whatever the Fox News manufactured outrage of the day is.

     
     

    crash-pad

    O.o !!

     
     

    “Donald Trump risks making a carnival out of a serious presidential campaign,” lamented Goofypants the clown…

    Oh great— now i get to clean a piece of a masticated reuben sandwich off of my screen.

     
     

    I guess I need to explain what a “crash pad” is in airline terms.

    I’m officially based in Memphis, but I live in Columbus Ohio and commute to work.

    When I have to spend time in Memphis (training or reserve), I share an apartment with 5 other pilots. Fortunately only one or two of us might be there on any given day.

    It’s a cost of doing business.

    My wife works for the state of Ohio, so we would have to give up her income to move to Memphis. Not that we’d want to live there anyway. It’s like Detroit with humidity.

     
     

    I guess I need to explain what a “crash pad” is in airline terms.

    I thought the term was rather self-evident: a place to stay on a turn-around, either shared with other pilots or (LOL!) airline provided

    (I dated a few FAs in my breeding days)

     
     

    I dated a few FAs in my breeding days

    We don’t have those in the cargo world. We get a thermos of coffee and, if we’re lucky, a box lunch.

    Of course, we have a pension and the company is actually profitable, so I’d rather haul boxes than passengers.

     
     

    Cargo pilots don’t date stevedores, eh?

     
     

    I don’t know. Some of the box tossers look like they were in prison as recently as that morning.

    Supposedly at our LAX facility they had to make sure they scheduled people from rival gangs on different shifts.

     
     

    That sounds like the good old world of casual labor on construction sites.

     
     

    Trust me. You really don’t want my complete and undivided fucking attention.

     
     

    I just…don’t… More and more I get the idea the wingnuts are just punking us.

    Jesus rejected collectivism and the mentality that has occupied America for the last few decades: that everyone gets a trophy – equal outcomes for inequitable performance. There are winners and yes, there are losers. And wins and losses are determined by the diligence and determination of the individual

    Why do I always get the feeling that this is the part that they enjoy the most?

    yes, there are losers.

     
     

    You fail to see my point. It’s not so much that he’s bitching, although that gets old too. It’s that he bitches about whatever Fox/Rush/Beck tells him that he’s supposed to be mad about at that particular moment and doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.

    If Fox told him that Muppets are evil (oh wait they did) then he’d be complaining about the Muppets.

    It’s not like I spend all day watching MSNBC and waiting for Ed Schultz to tell me what to think.

     
     

    And vs gave a perfect example of how the hive mentality works. When progressives talk of equality of opportunity, conservatives have their Luntzes to turn it into: “See? They want equal outcomes. Trophies for all!”

     
     

    “Those kinds of conservatives bore the crap out of me, too,but in no way are they typical ”

    Bullshit! That is exactly what Lt. Col. Teabagger, USAF (Ret.), with whom I play poker regularly, does.

     
     

    I live in a 5,000 sf home on an acre plot in a gated community with an inground pool and a separate screened in porch

    Maybe you do and maybe you don’t. Most careers that pay the kind of salary that would support that lifestyle don’t offer as much free time as you seem to have.

     
     

    Poor DenDen, humourless dildo.

    About the only time anyone laughs around the DenDen household is when he takes his pants off.

    Coward.

     
     

    I live in a 5,000 sf home on an acre plot in a gated community with an inground pool and a separate screened in porch

    BTW, thank you for confirming your address for me.

     
     

    Actor, if you want to, you could lose one of those extra two chins you have by New Year’s.

    I suppose if I dated their sister, Li Peng, but I’m having more fun this way.

    Weight jokes don’t affect me, DenDen. I can still fit a 32 waist jeans. Can you, fatboy?

     
     

    As opposed to, say, a 700+ thread about the fact a writer jokingly mentioned in passing that Chelsea Clinton named her dog Soren.

    Odd how you can’t read, isn’t it?

    That, um, 5M sq ft home…it’s a nervous hospital, innit?

     
     

    Most careers that pay the kind of salary that would support that lifestyle don’t offer as much free time as you seem to have.

    He’s squatting. The bank foreclosed on his NINJA loan.

     
     

    Jesus rejected collectivism and the mentality that has occupied America for the last few decades: that everyone gets a trophy – equal outcomes for inequitable performance.

    FUCK THE MEEK!

     
     

    FUCK THE MEEK!

    No wonder you kept the good hookers for yourself, my Lord.

     
     

    I live in a 5,000 sf home on an acre plot in a gated community with an inground pool and a separate screened in porch, DA.

    Not according to your ISP trace, Dennis, there is nothing like that near Swan Lake in Richmond, VA.

    But thanks for the Tommy Flanagan impersonation, that’s the ticket, yah!

    And you must be tired all the time from maintaining such a large facility, I can understand why you’re so snappish when you comment here.

    I have more stuff growing in my back yard than I have time to keep under control,

    You have my sympathy, I’d suggest you’d hire some help to deal with the problem so that you can be rested and cheery when you come here to give us your jeu d’esprit for the day.

    I on the other hand, didn’t bite off more than I could chew when I got this place, we have an apricot tree that usually produced several gallons of fruit every year(that’s after it’s dried), 5 white nectarines all from a single stock that is prolific and produces sweet fruit, a Valencia orange that will be ripe for the picking soon, a Meyer lemon also bearing, a kalamansi(Philippine lemon), an Asian pear and a Fuji persimmon.

    Here’s a clue for you, IP addressses don’t come anywhere close to pinpointing locations.

    Here in the interior of California, where the men come from Virginia and the sheep are afraid, that’s true, but I doubt that there’s a Verizon facility where the ISP traces you, Dennis.

    Have a good life, Dennis.

     
     

    IP addressses don’t come anywhere close to pinpointing locations.

    DA, he has a point, because he has cable Internet access. It trunks to a node.

    Verizon runs a line directly to your house (FiOS, DSL, dial-up) so you have a more secure connection.

    What you give up with cable is security…

    There’s a hint there, DenDen.

     
     

    You know, the president put down a number of markers yesterday. Not only are Republicans no longer the party of Lincoln, they are no longer the party of TRoosevelt. I believe they are now the party of Grover Limbeck.

     
     

    No wonder you kept the good hookers for yourself, my Lord.

    Mary Magdalene wasn’t that great, at least by the time that I got to her. John had a purty mouth, but he never asked for money. Judas was just a jealous little bitch.

    GAY MARRIAGE MAKE ANGRY SMASH WITH HYURIKAAANE!!!

     
     

    I think they’ve been the party of Jeff Davis for the last 20 years or so.

     
     

    Mary Magdalene wasn’t that great, at least by the time that I got to her. John had a purty mouth, but he never asked for money. Judas was just a jealous little bitch.

    Say, so long as I have You here, what was the deal with Simon/Peter? Couldn’t make up his mind?

     
     

    I think they’ve been the party of Jeff Davis George III for the last 20 years or so.

    FTFY

     
     

    Actually, those of us who were raised in the Old South know that it is Saint Robert E. Lee that is revered. Davis was a “politician” who, of course, wouldn’t listen to the generals in the arena……….

     
     

    Say, so long as I have You here, what was the deal with Simon/Peter? Couldn’t make up his mind?

    His name was Simon. I called him “Rock” because every time we walked by a bus stop he’d start rooting around in the debris in case someone had dropped a crack rock. I gave everyone a nickname like that.

     
     

    Actually, those of us who were raised in the Old South know that it is Saint Robert E. Lee that is revered. Davis was a “politician” who, of course, wouldn’t listen to the generals in the arena……….

    Dolchstoßlegende, y’all

     
     

    Actually, those of us who were raised in the Old South know that it is Saint Robert E. Lee that is revered.

    He should have listened to Longstreet….

     
     

    I rate for Jesus @ 16:54. Except that I thought Peter’s nick was Shades.

     
     

    That’s right, he nicknamed me “Rufus” because I always had to sleep at night with a roof over my head.

     
     

    So I guess Crooked Timber doesn’t want new posters. My comment’s been stuck in moderation for ages.

     
     

    Food pr0n from last night to distract me from the miserable morning I’m having: I roasted a chicken. I slathered it butter, salt, pepper, dill and fresh fennel fronds and served it on a bed of potatoes, carrots, onions and fennel. The skin got all golden and crispy and it was streaming with juice. Has to have been one of the best roasted chickens I’ve ever made. It was just mouthwateringly good. For someone like me who considers a roasting chicken kind of an art form, it was a huge victory. Yay, me.

     
     

    Oh and also lemon juice..and I stuffe ether cavity with lemons.

     
     

    Some may wonder why teh ever-loving all-forgiving Jeez nicknamed the violent and vengeful James teh Greater, while teh one who may have been his own literal brother is James teh Lesser. Two words. PENIS.

     
     

    He called me “Stretch.” Or was that W that did that? I can’t keep track of all the cocks I’ve been fellating.

     
     

    David Gregory is DK-W’s MOTHER?

     
     

    That sounds like a good recipe. Roasting a chicken is “so simple that it’s difficult”.

     
     

    And teh Jeez’s camp hooker? She was actually a Mary Margaret, and rail thin from all those years of drug abuse. Hence, Mags da lean.

     
     

    I gave everyone a nickname like that.

    You could have been a bit kinder to Timothy.

    “Teh Ghey”? Really?

     
     

    You could have been a bit kinder to Timothy.

    “Teh Ghey”? Really?

    Are you saying there’s something wrong with that?

     
     

    Actor212, I forgot to mention that I could find a phone number associated with the ISP addy, the number of course was out of service, but it was linked to a physical address same as the ISP addy, using the White Pages reverse lookup.

     
     

    David Gregory is DK-W’s MOTHER?

    WTF, I don’t even,,, OMG.

    If anyone’s momma should be nicknamed “Stretch”, it ought to be yours vs, what with state of her genitalia.

     
     

    Are you saying there’s something wrong with that?

    NTTAWWT.

    Which curiously was Bartholomew’s nickname.

     
     

    That sounds like a good recipe. Roasting a chicken is “so simple that it’s difficult”.

    i know, right?

     
     

    Actor212, I forgot to mention that I could find a phone number associated with the ISP addy, the number of course was out of service, but it was linked to a physical address same as the ISP addy, using the White Pages reverse lookup.

    That far I hadn’t pursued this. But hell, it’s getting interesting enough, considering the stalking he’s done to me.

     
     

    For all the Mythbusters fans:

    I can almost hear the voice of Adam Savage “Well, there’s your problem!”

     
     

    Of course, why couldn’t it be Kari shot thru my bedroom window:

    “Thank you, God!”

     
     

    Major Kong,
    on what type of plane do you do most of your flying?

     
     

    on what type of plane do you do most of your flying?

    Plane?

     
     

    Question:

    How is DenDen like a bedbug?

     
     

    Of course, why couldn’t it be Kari shot thru my bedroom window:

    I’d imagine all the blood and broken glass and head trauma would be a little bit of a turn-off.

     
     

    I’d imagine all the blood and broken glass and head trauma would be a little bit of a turn-off.

    that’s prolly treading pretty close to zombie foreplay…

     
     

    I’d imagine all the blood and broken glass and head trauma would be a little bit of a turn-off.

    So, are there legitimate ethical criticisms of my upcoming work: Seduction secrets of the Paramedics?

     
     

    You know, we zombies just call it “foreplay.”

     
     

    I’d imagine all the blood and broken glass and head trauma would be a little bit of a turn-off.

    So you’ve never really played Full Contact Doctor, have you?

     
     

    So, are there legitimate ethical criticisms of my upcoming work: Seduction secrets of the Paramedics?

    Dammit. Yours was first AND funnier…

     
     

    on what type of plane do you do most of your flying?

    Currently the 757

    I’m also type-rated for the Airbus 300/310 and 727

    In the Air Force I flew the T-38, B-52G and KC-135R

     
     

    You know, we zombies just call it “foreplay.”

    o/~ Jesus noms me, this I know…. o/~

     
     

    If you live in the Northeast, hold onto your nuts

     
     

    I live in a 5,000 sf home on an acre plot in a gated community with an inground pool and a separate screened in porch, DA.

    Also, I have a 14″ inch penis and a Ferrari.

    I see things really melted down a few hours ago.

    For fuck’s sake, Dennis, there’s nothing more pathetic than boasting about how much money you have or stuff you own or how hot you are or how big your dick is…in a blog comments section or other internet forum. I do applaud your restraint in not mentioning how huge your dick is. From this gentlemanly decorum paired with obnoxious braggadocio, I can only conclude that you are the true Asian Prince.

     
     

    boasting about how much money you have or stuff

    remember the troll who was the CIA agent with the supermodel wife?

    Pennis has a ways to go….

     
     

    From Jennifer’s link:

    Asianprince213 on Geocities was created in 1999, depicting a very colorful Asian man, who’s sense of style drew obvious influence from performers like Prince and Little Richard.

    That certainly describes DenDen alright. Right down to the Little Dick.

     
     

    Can’t imagine having to pay to the property taxes or utilities on a 5000 square foot house.

     
     

    Where did Jesus go? I wish Jesus would come back…………….

     
     

    remember the troll who was the CIA agent with the supermodel wife?

    He was a real estate agent with a wife who huffs airplane glue. It’s close!

     
     

    with a wife who huffs airplane glue.

    hey, supermodel skin and bones doesn’t make themselves you know…

     
     

    I’m working up a psych profile of DenDen, and I realized that a large part of why he comes here to troll and shit-stir is that he has daddy issues.

    The thing I haven’t figured out yet is what he didn’t get from his daddy: the love of a mother or of a Penn State football coach.

     
     

    You cannot grasp the full glory that was the Asian Prince unless you visited his website back in the day. The “hello, ladies” greeting paired with his picture was hilarious on its own – but he had random snapshots of all “his” cars, and pages and page of photos of himself with commentary supplied, “do you like my outfit? Don’t I look sexy?”. The messages page was the best, as it made clear that quite a few of the people who visited the site weren’t aware it was a joke.

     
     

    remember the troll who was the CIA agent with the supermodel wife?

    up on the backstroke, baby.

     
     

    up on the backstroke, baby.

    Spunds like a recipe for scalp burn, spoken as someone who had very short hair as a child and still does most of the time.

     
     

    I’m working up a psych profile of DenDen, and I realized that a large part of why he comes here to troll and shit-stir is conservative is that he has daddy issues.

    FTFY.

    You can thank me later.

     
     

    Kreativ Speelleng Fever–Catch it!

     
     

    Jennifer, if you are still here, would you mind emailing me (lurkingcanadian at gmail)? I am in need of some advice about fundraising, at which I believe you are expert, but I don’t want to derail the discussion of hot CIA stripper wives.

     
     

    I wish Jesus would come back…

    Jesus is a’comin’, but he sho comin’ slow.

     
     

    We’re almost into the 800s here, LC, I think that may be impossible. Derailing the convo, that is.

     
     

    Derailing CIA wives.

     
     

    stuffe ether cavity with lemons.

    Oh my…

     
     

    DA, he has a point, because he has cable Internet access. It trunks to a node.

    Yeah, prolly 200500 homes per node. At the headend, prolly 8 to 16 nodes go to one CMTS (Cable Modem Terminaiton System). Then you’ve got any number of CMTS’s served by a single internet-facing switch. Even more problematic is that the only geographic information on subscribers is in the MSO’s internal systems. The best you can hope for is tracing to a city or, in the case of very large systems, a part of the city.

    There’s still a lot of my work throughout the cable plant, from the cable modems to the management software in the nodes to the CMTS to the back-end provisioning and asset management systems. Alas, there’s no way I can get into any of those anymore. I would have to call in a favor, have an old friend look up his physical address.

    Verizon runs a line directly to your house (FiOS, DSL, dial-up) so you have a more secure connection.

    Probably but not necessarily. I worked with a lot of “fiber to the curb” build-outs which closely resemble HFC (Hybrid Fiber Coax) systems architecturally with a single optical termination serving a neighborhood.

    What you give up with cable is security…

    Again, not necessarily. We (DOCSIS and also IEE 802.14 but that never went anywhere, both committees I served on, and was subcommittee chair of one) built a LOT of security into the cable modem systems

    /Telecom-Systems-Engineer_pedantry

     
     

    stuffe ether cavity with lemons.

    Oh my…

    I like that it’s both suggestive and surreal and nonsensical. How does one stuff ether, anyway?

     
     

    …At the headend, prolly 8 to 16 nodes go to one CMTS (Cable Modem Terminaiton System). Then you’ve got any number of CMTS’s served by a single internet-facing switch….

    That’s a really strange looking recipe.

     
     

    How does one stuff ether, anyway?

    I liked that it was suggestive, nonsensical, and that “stuffe” is olde-tymey English sounding.

     
     

    How does one stuff ether, anyway?

    There are some questions that remain best unanswered.

    I actually liked the middle english spelling of “stuffe”.

     
     

    I got lots of Christmas stuffe at Ye Olde Internets yesterday.

     
     

    i just got done visiting with the local brewmeister and he is assembling a home brewing kit for the son as one of his christmas gifts…son sent me a link to a ridiculously over-priced kit…brewmeister looked it over with a lot of ‘hmmmphs’…my kit will have EVERYTHING needed…yay!

    when i walked in i was greeted with, ‘you’re just in time for lunch! white or red?’ sadly, i had to abstain since i am working…and i have to go over to admin and the whiff of wine might not be welcome…

     
     

    Yeah, prolly 200500 homes per node. At the headend, prolly 8 to 16 nodes go to one CMTS (Cable Modem Terminaiton System). Then you’ve got any number of CMTS’s served by a single internet-facing switch….

    Probably the best way to get physically close would be via traceroute, where the intermediate switches are often named with a relation to the city they serve. That might get closer than any other method.

    That is, if you cared enough to chase down the numb nutted one.

     
     

    Probably the best way to get physically close

    do. not. want.

     
    Christians everywhere
     

    Where did Jesus go? I wish Jesus would come back…………….

    Y’know, we’ve been saying that for ages.

     
     

    i just got done visiting with the local brewmeister and he is assembling a home brewing kit for the son as one of his christmas gifts…son sent me a link to a ridiculously over-priced kit…brewmeister looked it over with a lot of ‘hmmmphs’…my kit will have EVERYTHING needed…yay!

    Sweet! I started brewing with a brew kit from the local shop I got for xmas many years ago. Of course I then spent tons of money over the intervening years building up a professional quality brewery, on a tiny scale. He’ll have tons of fun with it.

     
     

    RIP, Col. Sherman T Potter.

     
     

    remember the troll who was the CIA agent with the supermodel wife?

    Yah. That’s what the 5k sqft house thing made me think of immediately.

    That, and I heard in my head: “I am Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and yacht.”

     
     

    Again, not necessarily. We (DOCSIS and also IEE 802.14 but that never went anywhere, both committees I served on, and was subcommittee chair of one) built a LOT of security into the cable modem systems

    A lot depends on how old the basic layout is, and if the company decided to upgrade in the intervening years. In NYC, there are sections that are still running some godawful nodes, the areas that haven’t eevn been switched over to digital cable.

     
    Coach Urban Fenwick
     

    I have Newt fever. Conservomentum 2012!

     
     

    I have Newt fever. Conservomentum 2012!

    Crap it’s nearly always fatal. The survivors often need to spend the rest of their life in an iron brain.

     
     

    I have Newt fever. Conservomentum 2012!

    Crap it’s nearly always fatal. The survivors often need to spend the rest of their life in an iron brain.

    Side effects include inflated sense of self-worth, shriveled humanity and hairy testicles. And that’s just the women.

     
    St. jim, Patron Saint Of Bitchslapping
     

    Materialism is a funny old thing, isn’t it? Animism minus ectoplasm, so to speak.

    The one time prior to now when I had a sweet bachelor pad & money in the bank, I was intensely miserable 24/7 … whereas I’ve got it even nicer now, & I’m farting through silk & shitting in clover. See, I used to think that shiny crap was an inherent good in its own right, whose aura of goodness would rub off on me if I had a lot of it – & then I grew up. The important thing is what’s between my ears, not what’s in my bank account.

    Material success impresses me very little indeed.

    Trolling this joint tells me that something important is missing – & it’s something money can’t buy.

    Once you have sunk low enough to list your income, man-toys or how AWESOME your home is as a way to troll, you are trolling only yourself.

    Also: stalkers who get stalked = WINNING!

     
     

    I think I’ve located the elusive Pennis and his Palatial mansion

     
     

    The survivors often need to spend the rest of their life in an iron brain.

    FTW!

     
     

    Don’t think I’m weird but I really think that trailer mansion is neat. I love the idea of cleaning up old trailers and repurposing them to make something funky/cool like that. I would live in something like that. Without hesitation.

     
     

    Side effects include inflated sense of self-worth, shriveled humanity…

    Ask your doctor if Conservomentum is right for you!

     
     

    It’s once again time to play Name That Whinger!

    It occurs to me that liberals are very much like jihadists. In Islamic countries, it’s not uncommon for Muslims to be tried and executed for the crime of apostasy. An apostate is a Muslim who converts to another religion. In our own country, although the punishment isn’t as severe, it mirrors the way that liberals tar and feather black conservatives. If those on the Left had the authority of Iran’s mullahs, would anyone be terribly surprised if they condemned the likes of Thomas Sowell, Allen West, Walter Williams, Condoleezza Rice and Herman Cain, for crimes against the party?

    To recognize how true that is, you merely have to acknowledge that liberals are always quick to label a black conservative an oreo, but when someone such as Barack Obama, who is literally half-and-half, comes along, the media never refers to him as any kind of cookie.

    No cheating!

     
    Marion in Savannah
     

    Pup, it’s stupid enough sounding to be Irky Irksome, but the suspiciously unflawed grammar and punctuation make me hesitate. Not even a single misused apostrophe. Are you sure this is a real wingnut?

     
     

    someone such as Barack Obama, who is literally half-and-half, comes along, the media never refers to him as any kind of cookie.

    I think of him as a Malomar. Enticing, yet ultimately too soft and unfulfilling.

     
     

    I think the name is something like “Butt-Plug-upsky” or something…

     
     

    Nope, not Irky Irksome. Definitely a jennyoowine whinger, though not one often noted here.

     
     

    Conservomentum 2012!

    “Today language, tomorrow the future! Our euphemisms will rule for a thousand Friedman Units!”

     
     

    Well, lets see, we start off with vilification of muslims, move to baseless speculation about the motives of liberals, suggest straw liberals would persecute right-wingers, and end up with a ham handed oversimplification of race and politics. The sheer ham-handed approach to race tells me we aren’t dealing with an A-lister with a national audience like George Will or David Brooks. The anti-muslim crap isn’t mean spririted enough for the likes of Pam Gellar. The seething resentment tells me we are looking at John Hinderaker.

    Did I win?

     
     

    Aunt Acid said,

    December 7, 2011 at 22:08 (kill)

    DING DING DING DING

    You cheated, dincha?

     
     

    Yeah, I’ll admit it…

     
     

    In Islamic countries, it’s not uncommon for Muslims to be tried and executed for the crime of apostasy. An apostate is a Muslim who converts to another religion. In our own country, although the punishment isn’t as severe, it mirrors the way that liberals tar and feather black conservatives.

    Guh?

     
    Privatize the Profits! Socialize the Costs!
     

    you merely have to acknowledge that liberals are always quick to label a black conservative an oreo

    Sadly, no! But we do acknowledge that we liberals are always quick to label a delusional, closeted, overweight fool a ‘Republican’.

     
     

    So I looked it up. I didn’t win, but my advice to the next people guessing is don’t waste any time looking at the A-list, the B-list or the C-list.

     
     

    Yeah, I’ll admit it…

    YOu are hereby sentenced to a year in a maximum security “5,000 sq ft mansion.”

     
     

    My first guess was Dennis Prager. Prelutsky would have been about third on my list, after Joe Farah.

     
     

    If those on the Left had the authority of Iran’s mullahs, would anyone be terribly surprised if they condemned the likes of Thomas Sowell, Allen West, Walter Williams, Condoleezza Rice and Herman Cain, for crimes against the party?

    To recognize how true that is, you merely have to acknowledge that liberals are always quick to label a black conservative an oreo, but when someone such as Barack Obama, who is literally half-and-half, comes along, the media never refers to him as any kind of cookie.

    This kind of confuses me. Is he saying that because Obama is mixed race, he’s more Oreo-nic than a fully African American conservative?

    Isn’t that, you know, playing the race card?

     
     

    Actually, I would have guessed Glenn Beck. The pompous “It occurs to me…” construction just reeks of his overinflated sense of his own lofty intellect.

     
    Marion in Savannah
     

    Well, I gave up and inquired of Teh Great Gazoogle… Now I need a shower. But I did bring back an especially rancid comment mango:

    Given Mr. Obama’s deviant sexual proclivities and no discernable proof, who says the two girls are his? Maybe Reggie Love or Rev Wright subbed in during Barack’s steambath sessions at Men’s Country with Rahm, the ballerina. Neither girl has any Caucasian characteristics, so the Robinson gene pool must be stronger than those of the Obama clan who evolved over thousands of years in deepest, darkest Africa. There’s no sign of a Dunham family connection to be seen. Birth certificates in the Obama family have proven to be elusive and uncreditable.

    Deviant sexual proclivities? Interest. Website? Newsletter?

     
     

    Can’t say Eric Bolling is a coward: he is prepared to debate Kermit the Frog!

    I can see the Onion headline already:

    FOX News host loses to a piece of fabric

     
     

    Guh?

    Calling someone a nasty name, or really even just public criticism is EXACTLY THE SAME as execution by public stoning.

     
     

    Maybe The Daily Show can make a muppet Eric Bolling, like they did with McCain when McCain stopped showing up in person.

     
     

    Deviant sexual proclivities? Interest. Website? Newsletter?

    Wait, now. Mr. Obama’s “deviant sexual proclivities” call into question the parentage of the children who came out of Mrs. Obama’s womb?

    Is it possible nobody ever explained the birds and bees to your wingnut, Marion?

     
     

    Given Mr. Obama’s deviant sexual proclivities and no discernable proof, who says the two girls are his? Maybe Reggie Love or Rev Wright subbed in during Barack’s steambath sessions at Men’s Country with Rahm, the ballerina. Neither girl has any Caucasian characteristics, so the Robinson gene pool must be stronger than those of the Obama clan who evolved over thousands of years in deepest, darkest Africa. There’s no sign of a Dunham family connection to be seen. Birth certificates in the Obama family have proven to be elusive and uncreditable.

    Y’know, this might win an award for packing the most scattershot hatred in one paragraph.

    You have racism, homophobia, Mandingo, birtherism, anti-Semitism (Emanuel is a Jew), and hedonism all in one short graf!

     
     

    Wait, now. Mr. Obama’s “deviant sexual proclivities” call into question the parentage of the children who came out of Mrs. Obama’s womb?

    He has a forked penis.

     
     

    You have racism, homophobia, Mandingo, birtherism, anti-Semitism (Emanuel is a Jew), and hedonism all in one short graf!

    Burt ought to be happy that his little digital fishwrapper isn’t read by more people. It would seem to me he is setting himself up to get sued for libel.

     
     

    Neither girl has any Caucasian characteristics

    Not just anyone can have a small penis.

     
     

    Not just anyone can have a small penis.

    NOT TRUE! This is AMERICA! where any little girl can grow up to have a small penis.

     
     

    NOT TRUE! This is AMERICA! where any little girl can grow up to have a small penis.

    Exhibit A: Dennis

     
     

    This is AMERICA! where any little girl can grow up to have a small penis.

    As the old joke goes, she can have as many penis’ as she wants.

     
     

    Oh, I know what a crash pad is and all. Stayed in more than a few myself.

    I just thought, you know, pilots………….crash pad…………….like, nomenclature, man.

    It’s funny though, esp. if intentional.

     
     

    pilots………….crash pad…………….like, nomenclature, man.

    What’s the last thing to go through your mind in a plane crash?

    Sheet metal.

     
     

    what’s the last thing to go through a bugs mind as it hits your windshield?

    its ass.

     
     

    PENIS

    That’s damned unfortunate. What crime was he convicted of that they have to post that every time he goes on the TeeVee?

     
     

    *whew*

    Mumia won’t face the death sentence, after all.

     
     

    Apparently, the First Daughters have disgraced America by eating Japanese Chinese food on Pearl Harbor Day.

     
     

    Threw the book at Blago, though.

    Twelve years as coiff model at Wilfred’s School of Hair would have been harsher.

     
     

    The one time prior to now when I had a sweet bachelor pad & money in the bank, I was intensely miserable 24/7 … whereas I’ve got it even nicer now, & I’m farting through silk & shitting in clover. See, I used to think that shiny crap was an inherent good in its own right, whose aura of goodness would rub off on me if I had a lot of it – & then I grew up. The important thing is what’s between my ears, not what’s in my bank account.

    Material success impresses me very little indeed.

    Trolling this joint tells me that something important is missing – & it’s something money can’t buy.

    Pretty much agree with all of that, except that if you go up and check the tape, something you guys never seem to do, you’d find that Idiot Dart Avenger said I lived in an apartment or condo, and then linked to a picture. I just set the record straight. If I thought materialism was going to impress anyone, don’t you think I would have done that a long time ago, like 4-5 months ago?

    Amazing how people make such amateurish psychological diagnoses here with such faulty reasoning, and everyone goes ‘yeah, yeah, I think you’re right because I think all conservatives are like that.”

    Bizarre.

    And when the idiot sleuths here track down my address, something I’d gladly share with anyone, please feel free to stop by sometime for a tour. Even tsam, just as long as he leaves his butcher knife at the guard gate.

     
     

    you’d find that Idiot Dart Avenger said I lived in an apartment or condo, and then linked to a picture. I just set the record straight. If I thought materialism was going to impress anyone, don’t you think I would have done that a long time ago, like 4-5 months ago?

    Sorry, but you’re an idiot Dennis if you think that the weather where you are was in the 70s last week, so why should we believe any other bullcrap you write here.

    Amazing how people make such amateurish psychological diagnoses here with such faulty reasoning, and everyone goes ‘yeah, yeah, I think you’re right because I think all conservatives are like that.”

    “Daddy didn’t love me, Daddy didn’t love me!”

     
     

    I thought you went to graduate school, Dennis, and you can’t even spell across or cemetery(spelling tip: it’s all e’s and a y at the end.)

    Aww, bless your heart.

    The reason you knew I misspelled ‘cemetery’ was only because you live right across the street from one and you go by the sign for it every time you leave your house.

     
     

    “Daddy didn’t love me, Daddy didn’t love me!”

    “I’m copying actior. I’m copying actor!”

     
     

    The reason you knew I misspelled ‘cemetery’ was only because you live right across the street from one and you go by the sign for it every time you leave your house.

    If you saw a map of Porterville, folks, you’d know why that’s funny.

    “I’m copying actior. I’m copying actor!”

    Glad to see that you’re finally being honest, having your sister die didn’t help matters any, did it?

     
     

    I just set the record straight.

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    So boasting is now “setting the record straight?

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

     
     

    Glad to see that you’re finally being honest, having your sister die didn’t help matters any, did it?

    Why should a dead kid bother him? Especially since he probably contributed to it.

     
     

    Even tsam, just as long as he leaves his butcher knife at the guard gate.

    Like I said, coward.

    No testicular fortitude at all.

     
     

    Glad to see that you’re finally being honest, having your sister die didn’t help matters any, did it?

    Setting aside the fact that statement makes no sense, what did your sister’s death do to you? Did you have a strange infatuation with death before or after she passed away? I mean, I would’ve just presumed you moved into a house right next door to a cemetery because it was cheap, not because you’re into zombies or something.

    And you do know if there’s a zombie uprising in the Porterville Cemetery, you’re fucked, right? I hope you have some sort of safe place. Or maybe that’s why you keep the garbage cans out in the driveway, so they’ll be repulsed at the sight.

    You gave up, DA. You’re sponging off your wife and you’re pissed Obama didn’t get his redistributionist schemes passed through, so you’ve just accepted living in squalor.

    East Bum-fucked Porterville, California…….acrost from the city morgue…..Gawd.

     
     

    Did you have a strange infatuation with death before or after she passed away? I mean, I would’ve just presumed you moved into a house right next door to a cemetery because it was cheap, not because you’re into zombies or something.

    Does living next to a cemetery bother you in some way Dennis? Are you afraid that the spirits of the dead are somehow coming through the gates and fences and infesting where I live?

    And you do know if there’s a zombie uprising in the Porterville Cemetery, you’re fucked, right? I hope you have some sort of safe place.

    Oh, Dennis, you’re so funny, I forgot to laugh.

    Don’t want to talk about your abandonment issues? I can see why a cemetery would creep you out. Perhaps a zombie from your own life will be shambling past the guardhouse in the dark on their way to your bedroom and final vengeance one dark night, Dennis.

    You gave up, DA. You’re sponging off your wife and you’re pissed Obama didn’t get his redistributionist schemes passed through, so you’ve just accepted living in squalor.

    Your concern isn’t touching, Dennis, but if you want to phone me on my cell phone and give me more details about what’s wrong with my life, please, feel free to do so.

    East Bum-fucked Porterville, California…….acrost from the city morgue…..Gawd.

    Yep, I hope it keeps you up nights, you pathetic loser.

     
     

    Poor Dennis, getting butt hurt over what a bunch of liberal losers write on a librul site.

     
     

    Does living next to a cemetery bother you in some way Dennis? Are you afraid that the spirits of the dead are somehow coming through the gates and fences and infesting where I live?

    It annoys the fuck out of the corpses that they can’t rot in peace.

     
     

    Poor Dennis, getting butt hurt over what a bunch of liberal losers write on a librul site.

    He’s just jealous because he thought the hot tub was the white bowl in the loo.

     
     

    Big fat fucking coward, DenDen. A big fat fucking coward.

     
     

    He lies about things that can be easily determined to be bullshit, like “It’s been in the 70s here in Richmond in the last 3 weeks.”, and is incredulous that nobody believes his other bullshit as well, like his lovely wife, Morgan Fairchild.

    Tommy Flanagan was a sketch character, Dennis the non-Menace is just pitiful and pathetic, his kids will probably grow up to be just like him.

     
     

    Tommy Flanagan was a sketch character, Dennis the non-Menace is just pitiful and pathetic, his kids will probably grow up to be just like him.

    Or crackwhores.

    Oh. Wait…

     
     

    .all sorts of scavenging varmints digging up old bones of the long-ago dearly departed and walking through the streets and back yards of your neighborhood.

    We have plenty of turkey vultures to take care of decaying flesh, Dennis, unfortunately we don’t have a similar solution for a decaying mind such as yours.

    Here’s a fox that was running in the cemetery, you’re not scared of a little furry predator/scavenger, are you Dennis?

    Didn’t East Bum-fucked Porterville get any stimulus money for shovel-ready projects like closing up city cemetery sinkholes?

    Actually, Dennis, we didn’t need Obama’s help, a local measure was passed to pay for road maintenance, but you’re welcome to write the Porterville Recorder and tell them your opinion of East Porterville.

    You sure like to use the word bumfuck a lot, Dennis, is that your favorite activity with your lovely and charming wife?

    Talk to your children about bumfucking today, Dennis, you won’t regret it and perhaps keep them from the temptations of anal sex that you yourself have succumbed to in the past.

     
     

    You sure like to use the word bumfuck a lot, Dennis

    It’s not like his closet door is really closed, DA.

     
     

    actor212, I’m sure that on his wedding night, Dennis closed his eyes and thought of Richard Simmons.

     
     

    Dennis, you really are fucked if you can’t tell the difference between a retention basin with regular sloping walls from a sinkhole, BTW.

     
     

    closed his eyes and thought of Richard Simmons.

    “Feel the bum! Feel the bum!”

     
     

    Liberace is going to come back from the dead and ask Carl Younglover to turn it down.

    If gaydar was Radar
    I’d never find a fly
    But when Carl posts
    It goes “My, my, my, my.”

     
     

    If gaydar was Radar
    I’d never find a fly
    But when Carl posts
    It goes “My, my, my, my.”

    I see DenDen in a slip clutching a sweater dress to his chest, singing, “I could have danced all night, I could have danced all night!”

    Got brain bleach? I ran out thinking about Newt Gingrich in a diaper.

     
     

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