Sometimes Just A Direct Quote Is The Best Shorter


ABOVE: Robert Stacy McCain

Shorter Robert Stacy McCain, The White Supremacist McCain:
#OWS Protesters Attempt to Storm AFP Defending the American Dream Summit

  • “It’s stuff like this that makes you nostalgic for the Good Old Days of real police brutality.”

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 192

 
 
 

I’m nostalgic for the days when folks like RSM had no platform from which to spout their blather.

 
 

Shorter: The peasants are revolting. And now they’re rebelling, too!

 
 

Andy Rooney still dead. Or even deader.

 
 

I would submit that they always have and will for the near future. McCain is a supremacist’s supremacist. He was a democrat when Democrats liked dangerous white southerners and he’s a republican because they are now reminiscent of the 1890’s Democratic party.

I wonder if he touches himself to a poster of Bull Connor?

 
 

AFP? “American Fascist Partisans”?

 
 

UPDATE: Smelly hippies chant “We are the 99%” while attempting to force their way into the building:

Hahaha. What a boring douchebag. Too bad for your little Koch Brothers astroturfing outfit.
~

 
 

Should one’s Guy Fawkes effigy for the bonfire resemble Andy Rooney? Pope Ratzo? Too soon?

 
 

A car driver gunned the engine and hit three of the OWS people – color me shocked that this wasn’t reported in his thing.

 
 

I sing this song for the shop windows
And the bankers in despair
I bring my song from my bowels
And spread it everywhere.

 
 

“It’s stuff like this that makes you nostalgic for the Good Old Days of real police brutality.”

This guy considers himself a libertarian.

 
 

Shooting a peaceful protester in the head with a tear gas canister isn’t real police brutality?

I guess it’s just more frat-style shenanigans, like waterboarding.

What a monster. Have aliens been poisoning our groundwater with chemicals that totally erase humanity?

 
 

This guy considers himself a libertarian.

I consider him a knee-walking corporate whore shitweasel.

Opinions differ, I guess.

 
 

Have aliens been poisoning our groundwater with chemicals that totally erase humanity?

Calvin: “Do you believe in the devil? Do you believe there’s an entity dedicated to the total corruption of mankind?”
Hobbes: “I’m not sure mankind needs the help.”

I have to admit, these people are the best argument I’ve ever seen for their own “fallen nature of mankind” shtick.

 
 

Yes, but your opinion has the benefit of supporting evidence, while his is contradicted by his every thought, word and deed. Maybe he’ll reap what he sows, we can but hope.

 
 

Also,

Shooting a peaceful protester in the head with a tear gas canister isn’t real police brutality?

No, no, no. The protestors were throwing paint bombs. Well, some of them, at any rate, which means all of them. Funny, paint bomb throwing actually is “frat-style shenanigans” (has anyone here not had a water balloon or the equivalent thrown at them at some point in their life?). But you’re supposed to go white with shock at the horror those poor cops were experiencing, which made it totally okay for them to, you know, do their thing.

 
 

Who could have predicted that arming our police forces with paramilitary weapons, supposedly “harmless” crowd control weaponry, and staffing them with sociopaths could ever cause problems? Oh yeah, all us liberals predicted that.

Well, I guess in the “Good Old Days”, they had to make do with firehoses, nightsticks, and dogs in lieu of tear gas, pepper bullets and pepper spray, and tasers.

 
 

The protestors were throwing paint bombs.

I am sure that stung, what with all the body armor, shields, and riot gear.

 
 

He says he “was in the middle of the scrum” of DFHs as they stormed the castle doors. Why, one wonders, was he hanging out with “smelly stupid people.” ESADIAF Stace,.

 
 

Robert’s just mad the police don’t get live ammunition.

Makes me think of the line from “Ohio” – “should have been done long ago”.
Which is what sociopathic fuckers like Robert said back in 1970.

 
 

Robert’s just mad the police don’t get live ammunition.

Well, they get one bullet, but they have to keep it in their pocket.

 
 

Got out of the boat.

He really is terrified that they are coming for him, isn’t he?

The protesters were loud. And there were a lot of them. There was no ‘rushing the doors” “forcing their way in” or “threatening the AFP attendees” He’s got a picture of a couple who were “caught in the mob” when they went outside for a smoke, and they have smiles on their faces; not really looking too threatened.

The smelly part he keeps getting back to is, I am sure, as much of a fever dream as the rest of it. And if they offended his sense of propriety, well, who’s the effete one now, you elitist?

I just hope his pearls withstood all the clutching, and that there was a fainting couch handy. Bless his heart.

 
 

I’m sure the protesters could have been dressed in brand-new suits with their hair still wet from the shower, scented with the finest Old Spice and Brut 33, and they’d still be “smelly hippies” to shitnozzles like Robby. Gotta keep the meme going, y’know.

 
 

The commenters do seem to be quite fond of the “smelly” meme, don’t they?

 
 

It’s stuff like this that makes you nostalgic for the days when your average white Southern male could neither read nor write.

Which is understandable since there’s nothing in the Constitution which says you have to know how to read. At least, we can keep telling them that. Because how else would they know?

Besides, everyone knows that the only parts of the Constitution which remain in effect are the 2nd and 10th Amendments. Everything else is now un-Constushal.

 
 

“first they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win”

I think you are urging the commencement of the third phase, Lil Bobby. I agree; we can’t move this along too fast.

We promise we’ll be gentle. We are, after all, Dirty Fucking Hippies. Even those of us who are zombies.

Shit, can they EVER stop re-fighting the 60s?

 
 

Shit, can they EVER stop re-fighting the 60s?

Sadly, No. (TM)

 
 

Of course, who needs to rely on National Guardsmen when there are Teabaggers handy, undoubtedly concealed-carrying their beloved bang-bangs?

“Four dead in Ohio” pfaugh! I’m sure we can do so much better this time around.

 
 

I’m sure we can do so much better this time around.

You know in their fevered dreams they are mowing down hippies with an M-60 Rambo style.

 
 

It’s stuff like this that makes you nostalgic for the days when your average white Southern male could neither read nor write.

Look at the educational stats from Texas, Mississippi, et cetera.

I’m fairly certain this is still the case.

150 years since the south committed treason en masse for the right to own people, and the one word we are certain Rick Perry can pronounce without a Speak & Spell is “ni99erhead”.

 
 

Few things would bring me more satisfaction than to parachute this prat into Mecca from 10,000 feet up in mid-haj so he can pray for some old fashioned police brutality to save his ass from the local version of Traditional Community Values. Bonus points if the parachute is made of Charmin.

The commenters do seem to be quite fond of the “smelly” meme, don’t they?

The poor hippy-sniffers you will always have with you.

 
 

“Four dead in Ohio” pfaugh! I’m sure we can do so much better this time around.

“Three run over in DC” is much harder to rhyme.

 
 

You know in their fevered dreams they are mowing down hippies with an M-60 Rambo style.

Like the armchair warriors they are, they seem to be doing it with cars, presumably because it’s so much easier to dodge a Rascal.

 
 

I am VERY disappointed that you weirdos did not take the zombie thread to 1K. I thought this was a hot tub recipe club.

 
 

Police brutality ain’t what it used to be. I stopped a lotta nightsticks with my head (wood shampoo, in the vernacular) all because I was in the right place at the wrong time. They banned sap gloves, lead saps, spring batons and got tasers in the trade. Now, the rat-bastard weasel-fuck 1%ers are taking the law in their own hands and trying to park on a few goddam hippies chests. When the masses bring the real fury, nothing will stop it. Kent State was over forty years ago, but I still remember how to battle the police. Police brutality? How about proletariat brutality.

 
 

Police brutality? How about proletariat brutality.

Lumps from the lumpen.

 
 

Speaking of the last thread, specifically bunnies, TIL.

 
 

Well, I guess in the “Good Old Days”, they had to make do with firehoses, nightsticks, and dogs in lieu of tear gas, pepper bullets and pepper spray, and tasers.

I believe they also had the option of using the mob (in the urban North) or the Klan (in the South and eventually the rural North) as street muscle whenever something “had” to be done that the cops didn’t want to be openly associated with.

Of course, that couldn’t happen here now.

 
 

Of course, who needs to rely on National Guardsmen when there are Teabaggers handy, undoubtedly concealed-carrying their beloved bang-bangs?

Related.

In any event its clear that the OPD is a criminal organization masquerading as a law enforcement agency. I recommend that the Governor of California call out the National Guard to protect the citizens of Oakland from their own police force.

 
 

The peasants are revolting.

You said it. They stink on ice.

Shooting a peaceful protester in the head with a tear gas canister isn’t real police brutality?

Perhaps this is the old-school beating he needs to fap to.

I have to admit, these people are the best argument I’ve ever seen for their own “fallen nature of mankind” shtick.

Y’know, maybe they’re not so un-self-reflective after all.

You know in their fevered dreams they are mowing down hippies with an M-60 Rambo style.

Couple a weeks ago at Roy’s place, the comment was highlighted, “I don’t expect originality from these loons, but a shot-by-shot remake of Joe?”

 
 

Dammit, pup.

 
 

I am VERY disappointed that you weirdos did not take the zombie thread to 1K. I thought this was a hot tub recipe club.

well, i am disappointed that when i came home from work last night, all ready to be chatty, it was pretty quiet in here…it was only 11:30 central for pete’s sake!!!

anyhoo…stacy mccain…ehhhh…i’d rather do my laundry…

 
 

ot and from last thread: in case the cain and obama church troll and dennis stop by, they may be interested in this

troll feeding: check
laundry: not done
dishes: not done
grocery shopping: check
feed the dog: check

i’m off to complete my list before going to work…i’ll check in when i need some lulz and/or a recipe and a dip in the hot tub…

 
 

C’mon, no one has yet linked to the photo of R.S. (The Other) McCain in his ball-sack ball-sack? Doesn’t even need to be manipulated.

 
 

Andy Rooney died of “complications following minor surgery.” Stay the fuck out of hospitals, people!

And don’t “retire” from a sweet gig like coming up w/ three mins. of material once a wk.

From the CBS announcement:

He … had homes in New York City, Rensselaerville, N.Y. and Rowayton, Conn.

Rather odd information w/ which to finish the first paragraph of a death announcement.

 
 

Stay the fuck out of hospitals, people!

I mean, what’s up with all those sick people in there?

 
Homeless ObamaCommieZombies
 

Oh Stacy, we didn’t “Storm” anything.

We chanted and hurled insults.

Fuck, you are such pussies.

 
 

If only they were waving around guns and obliquely talking about killing people could Stacy feel safe. After all, the best part of being a libertarian is knowing that police violence is for those other people, the non-Real American ones.

Also, “I Fought The Law” and “Last To Die” came up on the Shuffler as I was typing this. Ominous?

 
 

You know, I’m surprised my eyes haven’t gotten up and quit on me having to see that picture of Robby up there every time I refresh the page. Revolutions have started for less.

 
 

Someone had to do it. (Not for the faint of heart.)

 
 

We lost all the excitement when the amateurletariat all went proletariat. It all went downtrodden from there.

 
 

Someone had to do it. (Not for the faint of heart.)

Wet socks suck.
.

 
 

Someone had to do it. (Not for the faint of heart.)

I haz a woody.

 
 

Well, I guess in the “Good Old Days”, they had to make do with firehoses, nightsticks, and dogs in lieu of tear gas, pepper bullets and pepper spray, and tasers.

Someone cynical and leftie might even note that the “firehoses, nightsticks, and dogs” were the non-lethal weapons of their time and the only reason we make the distinction was because someone was stupid to call in the military (national guard), station them in a crowd-control capacity, and then hand them weapons with live ammunition.

And it’s almost like the deliberate and sole obsession with that particular massacre is a deliberate attempt to erase that the reality of most of those other 60s protests were the horrors of tear gassings, police beatings with nightsticks, and so on.

Another car assault on OWS, this one in D.C

And the one in SF with the Oakland protests. No arrests made, because you know that poor frightened car that deliberately rammed into the pedestrians injuring some and couldn’t easily escape didn’t need to be detained and punished for going after a few hippies.

The co-ordination bothers me a little. Did a bunch of wingnuts just read the first incident and go “That sounds awesome! I’m going to run over a few protestors myself!”

 
 

We chanted and hurled insults.

Fuck, you are such pussies.

They really are. Hell, I would argue that’s the point. Toxic masculinity rules mean that if you are a man raised in this culture, you’ve got a lot of pressure to be “manly” and the “manly” they have in mind is a violent, rage beast with an especially large hate on for women and minority groups. And the less you fit into that, because in real life, you shriek and hide at the first sign of a protest movement, then it’s all the more important you front like you are that much more of a tough man to try and not get knocked down to honorary woman and all the rape and social ostracization that comes with that.

So you get people who can’t even hand the little people exercising their first amendment rights compensating for that by masutrbating to how they would totally take an M4 and gun down every single person there after beating the biggest one to death with his bear hands (that’s right hands from a motherfucking bear).

But yeah, these are the fucks who are too damn scared to fight in the wars they claim to support, too damn scared to face the people they screw in the face, and show less calm under far less violent assault than an average 14 year old girl does just trying to walk in a Planned Parenthood to get some birth control.

Hell, on average, even the “real” “tough guys” never seem to do anything as impressive as what the average woman, black person, or queer in this culture has lived through, survived, endured, or overcome.

It really is quite a sad thing overall.

 
 

Jesus, Cerb, the commenters there are complete morons. Ooh, how ironic and hypocritical that the protesters both want the cops not to beat the shit out of innocent people for no reason AND to protect them from getting mowed down by idiot drivers! Yeah, dumbass, it’s called wanting police to do their job but not abuse it. And holy fuck, slapping some guy’s hood is not fucking battery.

 
 

The co-ordination bothers me a little. Did a bunch of wingnuts just read the first incident and go “That sounds awesome! I’m going to run over a few protestors myself!”

Well, they waited to confirm that they could assault people with a deadly weapon and not be arrested or charged, first.
.

 
 

“Few things would bring me more satisfaction than to parachute this prat into Mecca”

Maybe Smut could help you with a trebuchet.

 
 

Went over to try and find mangos but it’s a desert island. Yup, he did say the bullshit quoted. Most of it seems to be “EEK! EEK! Liberals used their right to assembly! How could they! They were right outside! Mommy promised that they could never find me! Mommy promised! Cops! Help! I’ve got footage of them milling around and shouting slogans and many of them were black! THEY WERE BLACK! Mommy, shoot the n****ers for me, that’s what the cops are there for, right?!?”

Seriously, it’s just a bunch of videos of … well, what you’d see at any other protest, you know if you’d actually been to a real genuine protest and not some Hoverund Parade for your “I’m one of the Teabaggers” events.

He then has his “my word AFP were caught outside!” freakout with photos…photos that made it look like he himself was outside by the angle but I assume he just ripped off the photo one of the protestors took.

They are standing like 3 feet away from the doors, with a bunch of media types that are also unharassed. Ironically enough the first photo which looks closer to the doors looks all hilarious with the two looking like they are storming the beaches and expecting to be pelted with stones because EEK BLACK PEOPLE! And the next is them a bit deeper, pleasantly talking with the first black person they’ve probably ever seen in their lives as he looks back at them like “I can’t believe you guys are the ones getting all the media attention”.

The videos again, standard. Some chants, some milling around, the main problem for RSM is of course they are all black and liberal so who knows what criminal demonology is at work and the many ways they could steal his soul.

Overall, if this terrifies him, this is a man who has never seen a protest. Any protest. Ever. And that kinda makes him so damn elitest and pathetic, I really can’t insult him worse than that.

It all ends with this gem.

After the storm-the-doors stunt, the smelly hippies deployed to block adjacent street corners and chant stupid slogans:

A Republican consultant (who shall not be named) said: “I’ve never seen so many losers in my life.” Truly, it was LoserFest 2011.

Yes, it was the people outside that were losers, not the people inside half terrified that there were “unruly black people outside” and having to take the protestors own videos to show the “horror” because simply standing in the lobby and filming this would be “too dangerous”, frightened that the police needed to crack some heads so they could even more easily ignore them inside.

Yes, those people, and not the person who seemed to think this made an equivalency to the acts of violence against protestors by both rich antagonistic fucks and police, that one racist guy had to be mildly aware that a location he was at was being protested was the equivalent and now things have gone to far.

Yes, it is truly the protestors who are the Losers.

I’ll also note he gave the “Loser” appelation the name of a more formal congregation. 20-30 people is not a Fest or a Con, but your tribute dinner thing? You know the one still fellating Reagan’s corpse?

Yeah.

Hey, it wouldn’t be a wingnut article without at least one major action of pure projection.

 
 

Maybe Smut could help you with a trebuchet.

Hey now. That’s a copyrighted element of the Wingnut Processor. Let’s all respect our intellectual property, here.

 
 

A Republican consultant (who shall not be named) said: “I’ve never seen so many losers in my life.” Truly, it was LoserFest 2011.

And the consultant who is too chickenshit to be named? Well, that one would know from losers, wouldn’t he?

 
 

Went over to try and find mangos but it’s a desert island.

I KNOW. I was going to try and do a Cerb-style mango-fisking, but after finding maybe one and a half comments, the rest were all “me too!” “Smelly!”, or talking about which video game weapon they thought was a better choice.

 
 

Yeah, dumbass, it’s called wanting police to do their job but not abuse it. And holy fuck, slapping some guy’s hood is not fucking battery.

Oh yeah.

I never understood the number of people who did seem to follow that weird bit of “the real victim is the guy in the car” bit of logic fail.

I mean, driver’s licenses are common and thus people had to take driving tests and presumably passed them, right? Cause one of the biggest things they teach you is if you hit a pedestrian its pretty much always 100% your fault. No matter what they are doing. Even if you’ve got a full on Tiger Woods’s wife situation going on, if he backed up over her, it goes from a “she’s threatening assault situation” to a “he committed attempted murder” situation and “she tried to hit out my brake lights and windows” would not be shit all of a defense.

You know, because the amount of power vs protection of pedestrian vs car is kinda like a crippled boy without a wheelchair versus a commando officer with an M4 and bomb defusing gear.

There really is no case where “but they needed to be hit” makes sense. No, certainly not if they are taunting you. Definitely not for “they put their hands on my baby” and most certainly not “because they were hippies”.

But somehow it’s like “of course they needed to run over that unarmed person with their deadly weapon, they were being unruly and rude.”

Are these the same people that think that if someone calls them a motherfucker, they have the right to shoot them? And if so, aren’t these the same fuckers who seem to believe a society of concealed carry armed people will be a “better one”? And if so, how has no one noticed that their plan seems to be arming sociopaths to kill people he doesn’t like wherever and whenever he may be with balls all provocation?

 
 

“That’s a copyrighted element of the Wingnut Processor”

Sorry I must have missed that while I was passed out from all the patchouli bongs.

 
 

the rest were all “me too!” “Smelly!”, or talking about which video game weapon they thought was a better choice.

Uh-oh, sounds like the giant rhinestone-studded LOSERFEST 2011 belt may be passed to a new crew of not-winners! Too bad, trust-fund welfare hippiesters!

 
 

Oh, and the best video game weapon is one of the big table models from the 80s. I mean seriously, you drop a WII on somebody and they won’t even notice.

 
 

I KNOW. I was going to try and do a Cerb-style mango-fisking, but after finding maybe one and a half comments, the rest were all “me too!” “Smelly!”, or talking about which video game weapon they thought was a better choice.

Yeah, I tend to stay away from the tigers that are the comment sections because that’s where you get less “I’m trying to make id decisions seem logical and more ‘I am a horrible person’ or ‘Yeah, I will now quote the article verbatim as if it actually proved balls all'”.

But yeah, for the stay on the boaters, here’s the shorter of the comments section:

I’m an internet tough guy, equally likely to piss my pants in a real situation like RSM, because I am equally “set off” by a bunch of black people milling around and chanting slogans. Now please let me play a game of escalation with my fellow tough guys about what weapon we would use to eliminate all liberals and black people from the planet in a “cleansing manner.

You know, actual eliminationist rhetoric.

And yeah, still the steady tenor in all the other right-wing works. That these kids must be complaining about nothing, must be hippies, must have no points, must just want something for free, be bad people, must, must, must, because…

Otherwise…

They have been wrong. They have cheered their own destruction. Devoted so much energy into fucking themselves all because they were told to hate people who they imagine got more sex than them in the 60s, people who just have more melanin, or people that let’s be frank, they’d love to have truly meaningful relationships and sex with if their false bravado horseshit and bitterness didn’t keep getting in the way. And they’ve done that for all their lives or all their lives that really matter.

And they can’t face it.

So there aren’t any real problems. The protestors are just lazy and we’ll kill them all. Hooray for white people. As long as my brain can hold these lies a little longer, then maybe maybe, I can sleep a full night again without this aching raw fear, so different from all the others. That I’ve been and will always be wrong.

They truly are the worst cowards.

 
 

More proof that if guns had been invented at the same time as the automobile both would be equally regulated, as they should be.

 
 

Eh, I tried to see if the tigers had anything. I was going to riff on one person who seemed to think that Kent State stopped hippies from protesting again, because taste of cold steel will send them all running and all that.

But really, what’s the point. They are idiots. The whole thing is filled with so wrong its not even funny crap. People believing that Republicans are gaining members rather than bleeding them. People believing that video evidence of protestors outside was video evidence of protestors inside the dinner itself flipping over tables and thinking that the conservative dinner then fended them off with their guns because that’s what they would have done, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh I’m so close.

It’s why I stay away from the tigers. The hacks are goons, perhaps tragic goons who have been sampling their product, but the commentators are the emaciated crack addicts. They’ve been fed so much alternate reality that they don’t even know how to see the reality that’s being fed them anymore. Just sending in whatever cash they got from pawning what’s left of their soul for another hit to get that rush of tribal belonging and protection from a big bad scary world that they don’t belong to anymore.

It’s all the tragedy of seeing a crack addict stumble past you rubbing their dry skin frantically, but none of the sympathy that would draw as these are not some innocent victim of circumstance, but rather people who have decided that their hatred of others trumps the very normal lives they could be living. That and the fact that these people are very definitely not actually starving and probably have nice stable middle class jobs, probably in government.

It’s just…It is what it is. And there’s no real humor there. It’s just a sad commentary on the price so many will pay simply to believe that they have never been wrong. To never grow or evolve socially and become better people. What people will pay, what they will sell, what they will believe to have it.

It’s just depressing.

Sorry for the lack of funny.

 
 

Yeah, I tend to stay away from the tigers that are the comment sections because that’s where you get less “I’m trying to make id decisions seem logical and more ‘I am a horrible person’ or ‘Yeah, I will now quote the article verbatim as if it actually proved balls all’”.

At least here, we provide recipes.

 
 

zrm-

I meant conservative blogs.

Liberal blogs comment sections tend to be filled with intelligent people with cogent analyses of different subjects and a smattering of right-wing trolls from the other blogs hoping that if they are just annoying and offensive enough, liberals everywhere will decide to live quiet monastic lives where they never take to anyone or get involved in any way so that the 27% can rule us all in peace and harmony.

Oh and also recipes!

 
 

Hey, nice hot tub you guys got here even if it is a bit shopworn. And there’s no turds!* I shall contribute some food pron foreplay.

Osso bucco on the menu tonight. I’ll serve it with plain rice I think, risotto Milanese is wonderful but the sauce is so good I don’t waste precious saffron on a competing side dish. I sometimes do polenta or even garlic mash potate but long grain white rice soaks up the sauce beautifully and doesn’t compete but compliment. I’ll make a killer salad. Ooh – I’ve got some phyllo with which I can mAke an easy faux apfelstrudel.

*autocorrect suggested “homburgs” for whatever it was I mistyped. Spearhafoc has not yet made an appearance so it’s technically correct but still, I thought I should fix it.

 
 

The faux Apfelstrudel will, of course, have RAISINS!

 
 

Imma have ramen, tonight. I have $8.
.

 
 

the best video game weapon is one of the big table models from the 80s

Call me old-fashioned but Imma sticking with my reliable weaponised pinball machine.

 
 

filet mignon wrapped in boar bacon with bearnaise (au jou grizzly) with a wingnut tears reduction (because Obama nailed yet another mideast terrorist).

 
 

What sort of trebuchet would you propel it with, S.C.?
~

 
 

dunno what we’re having tonight. i ate all the carrot cake this afternoon.

zrm-

I meant conservative blogs.

Oh, I know. i was merely referring to our recent unpleasant visitor.

 
 

Call me old-fashioned but Imma sticking with my reliable weaponised pinball machine.

Can’t go wrong with Jarts. It’s a ranged weapon, and also works hand-to-hand.

 
 

Imma have ramen, tonight. I have $8.

No shit. I’m having three-day old spaghetti w/ canned “Four Cheese” sauce for breakfast as I type. And have ramen for later in the month. You’d think these fucking lib foodies would have some concern for suffering poor people, but no!

Dennis was right, you’re all hot tub hypocrites. Imma steal a car & run over some protesters!

 
 

Imma steal a car & run over some protesters!

But do you have a freezer big enough for a whole protester, or are you going to waste most of it?

 
 

Not that desperate! (Yet.)

 
 

“No shit. I’m having three-day old spaghetti w/ canned “Four Cheese” sauce for breakfast as I type. And have ramen for later in the month. You’d think these fucking lib foodies would have some concern for suffering poor people, but no!”

Not a lot I can do for your culinary trials from here, dude.

 
 

Next time on a very special Roadkill Rules the band has to learn how to share.

 
Frustrated Character Actor
 

Bueller?

 
 

Not that desperate! (Yet.)

ummm, ….I’m supposed to be desperate first?

 
 

You’re supposed to hunt for real killer brains, zrm.
~

 
 

“Three run down in DC town”

 
 

Can’t go wrong with Jarts.

You’ll put your eye out kid.

 
 

“Three run down in DC town”

… on the lake they call Gitchigoomee…
.

 
 

What sort of trebuchet would you propel it with, S.C.?

Real revolutionaries use a trebuche guevara.

 
 

Real revolutionaries use a trebuche guevara.

touChé.
.

 
 

I can’t get over how much my feet smell like salted butter.
.

 
 

If you’re a fan of Sixties new reporting you could use a trebuchet Huntley.

 
 

Not a lot I can do for your culinary trials from here, dude.

You non-compassionate foodies can stop rubbing my nose in your meat.

 
 

rubbing my nose in your meat

Ah, I knew it’d get back around to sex at some point!

 
 

“Back around”? When did it leave?

 
 

You non-compassionate foodies can stop rubbing my nose in your meat.

Yes, oddly sexual, but I just picture shoving M.’s face in a raw rib eye. Weird.

 
 

Grr, just came back from the bank. They’re doing this “hey, we’re breaching our contract and retroactively changing your account unless you switch over to the new Assraper 10000 account that comes with all of our end-runs against the recent bill that got passed and allows us to do this kind of shit legally instead of illegally” thing.

So now I’ve got to decide if I jump through a million hoops and pay their “we take the rest of your money just when you need it most” closing fees along with a credit union’s opening fees and added hassle (just when I need to be dealing with that the least), not to mention that their best deal is guaranteed to be worse than my “It was made before the banks destroyed the economy so I have a lot of rights most accounts don’t” current setup.

Or if I accept their unlubed ass raping at Hells Fargo.

Guess I didn’t plan well enough for “well, what if they decide fuck their agreed to contract and decided to just fuck people like me illegally into accepting their ‘we’re allowed to do business as usual’ shit sandwich” option.

Oh, and did I mention they are planning on starting plan fuck my contract in a week and there was no warning through mail, email, or when I signed in to my account to check my balance?

Yeah, it’s almost like they don’t want a paper trail on this shit and just want to fuck those of us with shit all money because they can.

And they wonder why we hate them.

 
 

I hear whistling past a place where people are interred.
.

 
 

Oh! Rib-eye. Now you’re really hurting me.

 
 

I really don’t mind hearing about the food people buy with money, honestly. I am not a big steak guy, for one (I do eat meat, but steak and many of the meats people find most scrumptious don’t really rate on my list… but I do love me some bacon).
.

 
 

More banking notes: I use a credit union (or am a “member,” ha fucking ha) & the ass-rapers there (On top of already requiring you to keep a minimum of $50.00 in a savings account at all times) just decided to charge a $15.00/mo. fee if your average monthly balance is below $250.00, which mine has been for the last several mos.

Some one is going to pay!!! (Me, probably.)

 
 

I’ve never gotten the bacon obsession. I almost never eat it on its own. 90% of the time I use little portions in stuff to flavor other things.

 
 

I love this line in it:

But it’s the Tea Party movement and its small-government ideology that continues to win elections. Is that a harbinger for 2012? Probably.

Citation?

I’m guessing the 2010 election, but see, they were careful to use the plural, so what, the special elections?

And why compare the repackaging of the Republican base to keep them motivated and its political goals with a social movement?

It’s almost like this…like it doesn’t actually have anything to do with OWS, or the precipitous drop off in support for the rebranding once people saw New Coke was just a bunch of Psychotics leading to some of the lowest views of Republicans since 2008.

Like its to try and make Republicans feel like they matter, like they have a hope or a prayer of removing the blackity black black man from the White House.

But that couldn’t be. It’d be unprecedented!

Also, this:

Though they’ve mobilized a fraction of the people who turned out for just one Tea Party rally — the 9/12 rally in Washington, which drew well into the six figures — the Occupy protests have generated far more publicity. And, at least until recently, that publicity has been mostly favorable.

If it projects any harder, it’s going to be enslaved and put to work at movie theatres around the country. I mean the image resolution at that intensity must be fantastic!

The whole thing is pretty much in service to those two aims. Lots of protestors are hippie drum circle missed the 60s just trying to rebel against parents and yeah, pretty much all those buzzwords and more. And a random tangent where apparently Obama personally put a state tax increase on an off-off-year ballot and the fact that referendums tend not to favor new taxes because people are idiots like that and always vote like that proves that Obama is a failure and OH GOD WE HATE THAT THERE’S A BLACK PRESIDENT SO MUCH! WHY MUST HE HAUNT OUR SOULS!

It’s actually worth a few laughs if anyone is feeling brave enough for a splash.

 
 

They have this great stuff in Toronto called peameal bacon. It’s cured (not smoked) pork loin coated with cornmeal. I was eating peameal bacon sandwiches every day for lunch the last time I was up there.

I’ve never seen it in the States so I smuggled some across the border.

 
 

To Pupienus or any of the food experts on here – I am going to Rome in a couple of weeks and I want to try some awesome food – does anyone have some suggestions of local fare not to miss? Thanks all!

 
 

Also there’s an ad when I checked on the page that asks the all important question:

Why snoring can kill
Are you snoring yourself to death?
Learn more

I know its a random ad, but I like to imagine it was carefully chosen for the type of intelligence level usually encountered in the Too Psychotic for the Moonie Times pages.

 
 

(Real) Italian food is intensely regional. I spent a couple days in Rome and remember the food being spectacular, but I know more about Tuscany or Liguria.

I recall that Roman pizza is almost paper thin and usually has one, maybe two toppings.

 
 

Major Kong, I’m going to be limited in where I can go because I am going with my elderly mom who just retired and has the travel bug. She is going with a tour and asked me “do you want to come with?” and paid the whole thing. I love my mom.

 
 

I almost never eat it on its own.

It is best used to render fat for gravy, to be served over biscuits, with generous portions of fresh ground black pepper.
.

 
 

Hey, don’t mock sleep apnea there. Your heart stops & then it doesn’t re-start, it’s over!

VS doesn’t like bacon ’cause it doesn’t like her. (Starting to heal?) Wasn’t until I realized that bacon can be microwaved (& I acquired a microwave) rather than fried in a pan that I became more of a devotee. Farmer John’s Maple is the best. Probably not available outside of the civilized world; don’t let that Oscar Mayer maple-flavored crap fool ya.

 
 

I didn’t expect to like Rome. I’d always heard people say “Rome is dirty”.

They couldn’t have been more wrong. I absolutely loved Rome. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed.

 
 

Gawddamit, what’d I just do to my best comment ever?

 
 

God I wish I could get to Florence and Tuscany. So it goes. I am damn fortunate to finally get to see a little of Europe, and being a history geek this is a dream come true. I am really looking forward to the Pantheon and the Pieta http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piet%C3%A0_%28Michelangelo%29

 
 

I didn’t expect to like Rome. I’d always heard people say “Rome is dirty”.

Watch out for all the scooters. Most of which are not Italian, but Japanese and Taiwanese, btw.
.

 
 

Hang on to your wallet as well. Violent crime is rare, but petty theft and pickpockets are common in European cities.

 
 

Florentine pizza was not a damn thing like U.S. of America pie. At least not the stuff from the street carts, 40 yrs. ago. More like a large biscuit w/ a rim & a bunch of crap like anchovies on it.

Don’t mock sleep apnea. If your brain decides not to restart your heart, the party is over.

VS doesn’t like bacon because it doesn’t like her. (Too lazy to link.) I liked bacon well enough, but the whole frying thing was a pain. Now that I have a microwave, it’s a different story. Excellent w/ peanut butter in a sammich. One of these days I’ll add the fried bananas, Elvis-style. I’ll rate for Farmer John’s Maple, but I don’t think F.J.’s available in the so-called civilized world back east. And do not be fooled by Oscar Mayer’s maple-flavored crap.

 
 

Oh, fine. What, can’t leave anything longer than two sentences now? Shan’t be back!

 
 

I’ll just go on Twitter & play if you’re going to censor me, WP witch!

 
 

I see your credit onion comment, M.B.
~

 
 

So R.S. is “the White Supremacist McCain”?

Good old John doesn’t even get an honorable mention for his statement in 2000 (25 years after Charlie drove the empire out of that part of SE Asia) that “I hate the gooks. I will hate them as long as I live”? Okay, he later clarified that by gooks he only meant the Commie slope zipperheads, not the 2% minority that wanted Western colonial control– but still, I bet some Asians might have a problem w/ that statement.

And he voted against the MLK holiday, as well. But maybe that was based on principle and nothing to do w/ race?

 
 

Naw, it was a three-fer (well, two of ’em) insulting Florentine pizza, VS & Cerberus.

 
 

Uh, I mean responding to, not “insulting.” Really.

 
 

Though they’ve mobilized a fraction of the people who turned out for just one Tea Party rally — the 9/12 rally in Washington

The funny thing is – they think that rolling out for a heavily promoted entertainment event led by a “celebrity” and then going home afterwards with a made-in-China T-shirt to show for it, is the equivalent of 100s of people in scores of cities across the country coming out spontaneously to camp out overnight in rough conditions for over 2 months.

It’s like – can’t remember who it was – the wingnut who fancied himself on the front lines of combat because his office was located in the Empire State Building.

 
 

Naw, it was a three-fer

I copy everythang I’m gonna say here before I pull the trigger.
.

 
 

I ordered a box of checks just so I could send them one monthly, (note to self: include this in the budget you’re working on. Here’s the link: http://occupywallst.org/donate/. They also have a list of stuff they need, so if you want an excuse to clean out your closets or garage, there is none better.

 
 

Oh, Tintin. If only he looked that good.

 
 

I copy everythang I’m gonna say here before I pull the trigger.

This rarely happens. To me. And I’m “special.” Or used to be.

 
 

I copy everythang I’m gonna say here before I pull the trigger.

Wouldn’t help. I do that regularly and WP goes “you already posted that”, you know, the thing that doesn’t exist because WP ate it? And if you try and break it into chunks, it still remembers and consumes it.

In short, WP is sentient and has learned to hate like the machine in the Harlan Ellison short story.

 
 

Wouldn’t help. I do that regularly and WP goes “you already posted that”

Not if you add “That cocksucking WP ate that last, so here it is again.”
.

 
 

Interesting………………I just felt my chair shaking a little bit and the bookcase made a noise,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,went to the usgs site and they said there was a 5.1 quake in Oklahoma just then (I’m in KC). My first temblor!!

 
 

Next come the big bugs up through the ground that eat everything, John.
~

 
 

the big bugs up through the ground that eat everything

Meh. Wait’ll they get a look at the spiders in my basement…………………………

 
 

See, here’s why your CEO types tend not to thrive in the public sector……………

THE WOODLANDS, Texas (AP) — Republican presidential contender Herman Cain on Saturday vowed to answer no more questions about decade-old sexual harassment allegations and blamed journalists for the claims that have dogged his campaign.

Growing agitated with reporters after a one-on-one debate with rival Newt Gingrich, the former business executive suggested the reporters who asked questions about the allegations were unethical. Asked if he planned to never answer questions about the incidents, he was certain.

“You got it,” he snapped, even as the allegations leave plenty of doubts about Cain’s candidacy.

“Whadaya mean, I have to answer the question? But, but, it’s none of your damn business!!”

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Growing agitated with reporters after a one-on-one debate with rival Newt Gingrich

Ah, the serial sexual harasser and the serial adulterer. Those two assholes deserve each other.

 
 

Growing agitated with reporters after a one-on-one debate with rival Newt Gingrich

Ah, the serial sexual harasser and the serial adulterer.

Yet Obama gets hassled because of “associations.” Imagine if he actually did or said the things himself.

This is yet another example of Republicans living in Hypocrisy Land. And again, the media will ignore the hypocrisy because “both sides do it.”

 
 

Hey, here’s some funny shit from outraged asshole Assrocket.

We posted video last night in which degenerates from Occupy D.C. stormed the Washington Convention Center where Americans For Prosperity was holding a dinner. In the course of their riot, the Occupiers attacked a 78-year-old woman who had been attending the dinner, and pushed her down a flight of stairs. You see her at around the 3:20 mark of this video, shot by the Daily Caller:

The woman’s name is Dolores Broderson. Small Dead Animals got this email:

Ray Patnaude emails: “My wife and I were at the AFP dinner. Some info on the AFP member who was pushed down the stairs by the protestors… she is the second woman the police are helping up in the Daily Caller video. Her name is Dolores Broderson, age 78. She rode on a bus for 11 hours from Detroit to get there. She went to the emergency room with a bloody nose and bruises on her hand and leg.”

She rode from Detroit for 11 hours because AFP is a genuine grass-roots movement, unlike the Occupiers and their sugar daddies. But that is a relatively minor point. The Occupier movement stands for riot, assault, rape, vandalism, sexual harassment, public urination, public defecation and public masturbation. And Barack Obama owns it lock, stock and barrel. He has endorsed the Occupiers and never uttered a single word to distance himself from them. Their disgusting behavior should be hung around his neck like an anvil when he runs for reelection next year.

Rioting degenerates, oh my! Any bets on when Hineyache starts w/ the “sub-human nigger animals?”

And let’s see, AFP stands for what now? All power to the wealthy, if we’re not mistaken. No sugar daddies there, of course. Sugar brothers, as in Koch, well, yes.

But what could be grass-rootsier than a “dinner” w/ a bunch of swells? Was it a formal affair?

Anyone who can’t afford plane fare but “rode on a bus for 11 hrs. from Detroit” to attend an event sponsored by people who own private airplanes probably shouldn’t be taking the stairs. Or be outside the home w/o a keeper.

I, of course, have always taken a firm stand for public urination & defecation. Obama’s most important campaign promises, weren’t they?

And for sexual harassment, public or private. Not unlike Koch “brother from another mother” Herman Cain.

 
 

More on Cain the CEO, post-debate.

I am pretty much ready to commit murder at this point. And have been for about 50 yrs., so it’s not that big a deal, really.

 
 

Ah, the serial sexual harasser and the serial adulterer.

Obviously, you are not War Criminal Post material, BBBB.

Their term was “The philosopher-politician vs. the businessman-preacher.”

For mine, you have to click here.

(Hint: Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder)
~

 
 

(Hint: Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder)

Oh Lard, why don’t we?!
.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Their term was “The philosopher-politician vs. the businessman-preacher.”

How the hell could anyone type this in earnest. The bullshit, it is laid on thick.

 
 

You’re right, B^4, and yet Phil Rucker is a reporter for the Washington Post and we are not.
~

 
 

The wingnut pearl-clutching and macho-man extremes are so entertaining. I hope they’re as dramatic in person, when the whole OWS scene evolves into ‘American Spring’, and the protests get more brutal and the 99% get more physical. Tea Party ‘masses’ have a long way to go, to get to the same level of commitment- but those HoverRounds’ batteries do have such a limited range.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Tea Party ‘masses’ have a long way to go, to get to the same level of commitment- but those HoverRounds’ batteries do have such a limited range.

Also, the numbers have always been so inflated that the righties will shit themselves when they see what a real protest looks like.

May Day 2012… freak the mofos out.

 
 

I mean, driver’s licenses are common and thus people had to take driving tests and presumably passed them, right? Cause one of the biggest things they teach you is
if you hit a pedestrian its pretty much always 100% your fault. No matter what they are doing.

ummm…no. i have a pair of twins in my key club who are very bright and very academically competitive…i went to pick them up at school one day to volunteer at a hospice luncheon and had to wait for them because they were taking their driving tests. they failed. and i was all like ‘oh, ha, ha girls your just fooling me cuz you are both competitive brainiacs and there is no WAY you failed your driving test.’ oh, yeah, they did…their tester told them, ‘nobody passes their first test with me…you fail…’

feck…i hope y’all appreciate how much effort and skill that took to type all that w/out a typo or tagfail…

 
 

oh, feck…even though we served more people tonight, work was MUCH better this evening…and then i got to take the daughter up to the local saloon to meet up with some of her classmates…i just adore these kids who actually want to spend time with her…plus buy her mom drinks…

 
 

I didn’t expect to like Rome. I’d always heard people say “Rome is dirty”.

They couldn’t have been more wrong. I absolutely loved Rome. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed.

oh, eff…rome is my dream trip…besides the lewis was an in effectual douchebagasshole and clark trail…

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

So, tell us how you really feel about Meriwether Lewis.

 
 

So, tell us how you really feel about Meriwether Lewis.

i’ve had a lot of jack daniels tonight…do you really want me to?

 
 

The faux Apfelstrudel will, of course, have RAISINS!

DUH

 
 

I’ve never gotten the bacon obsession. I almost never eat it on its own. 90% of the time I use little portions in stuff to flavor other things.

ZOMG!!! first raisins and now bacphemy?!?!? vs, i feel like i don’t even know you anymore…

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

i’ve had a lot of jack daniels tonight…do you really want me to?

I’m stuck at work until six a.m., and have repeated the one o’clock hour already… start making with the drunken opprobium of the guy.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Uh, “opprobrium”… the 2 o’clock to 1 o’clock transition kinda messed with my cognitive functions.

 
 

Major Kong, I’m going to be limited in where I can go because I am going with my elderly mom who just retired and has the travel bug. She is going with a tour and asked me “do you want to come with?” and paid the whole thing. I love my mom.

ireland…also why i love my mom…

 
 

Uh, “opprobrium”… the 2 o’clock to 1 o’clock transition kinda messed with my cognitive functions.

oh…that’s right…fall back an hour…bonus! october is over…why are you still working bbb?

 
 

My maternal unit dragged me away from my friends when I was 15 & took me to Paris for 15 mos.

I still hated her until she died.

P.S.: Soberer than a Texas judge. But bitter.

 
 

My maternal unit dragged me away from my friends when I was 15 & took me to Paris for 15 mos.

I still hated her until she died.

P.S.: Soberer than a Texas judge. But bitter.

crap…my parents dragged me to south dakota and texas…paris would have been fecking amazing…but then again, 15 can be a difficult age…

 
 

and i have a serious case of the heebies looking at stacy’s thighs…

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

oh…that’s right…fall back an hour…bonus! october is over…why are you still working bbb?

Mother Nature kinda stepped on our collective dick the last weekend of October, which is usually our biggest fundraising weekend of the year, so the fundraiser was extended a month.

 
 

Lulz.

Your liberal media at work.

All pretty standard stuff up until the last line.

The question of Santorum’s residency location was the catalyst for a frothy controversy spanning more than a decade, as detailed here.

 
 

NEWS FLASH!!

James O’Keefe has uncovered this OWS training video.

 
 

15 can be a difficult age…

She wanted me away from bad influences in Seattle. We ended up in the Latin Quarter, & I found plenty of bad influences. Whoooo!!!

 
 

Cerberus said,
November 5, 2011 at 23:02

It’s just…It is what it is. And there’s no real humor there. It’s just a sad commentary on the price so many will pay simply to believe that they have never been wrong. To never grow or evolve socially and become better people. What people will pay, what they will sell, what they will believe to have it.

Well said, Cerb.

 
 

The faux Apfelstrudel will, of course, have RAISINS!
Not bacon? Imagine my disappointment.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

My faux Baconstrudel will, of course, have APPLES!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Hey, what happened to the hot tub club? Huh?

The water… so cold…

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knoowledge
 

Say what you want about Meriwether Lewis, but nobody better start dissin’ my man John Wesley Powell!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Lulz.

Your liberal media at work.

Damn, Romney’s house looks like a Thomas Kincaide nightmare. One more reason Romney needs to lose these upcoming lessons hard.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Uh, “elections”, not “lessons”. Crap, I’ve only been up 22 hours straight.

 
 

Dear John, you felt an earthquake in Oklahoma, today? Is it alright if I’m sad that you’re in Oklahoma? I’m from Texas and you can say anything you want about it, if you like. Every time there’s a tremble off of Newport (Oregon coast) something happens in my house. One time the towel racks in the bathroom just fell off the wall, another time the little weather strip under the bathroom door buckled up, so I had to jump up and down on it, until the door would clear it.

On Ebony and Ivory—going to the doctor is like going to McDonalds—uh—hmm—eh. Somebody help me out here— I don’t know what to do with this, but I kinda wanna get it off of me.

 
 

Powell was one tough motherfucker.

 
 

You can take a chicken to the doctor and trade it for health care, wiley.
~

 
 

I’m sure the protesters could have been dressed in brand-new suits with their hair still wet from the shower, scented with the finest Old Spice and Brut 33, and they’d still be “smelly hippies” to shitnozzles like Robby.

Well, in fairness, Old Spice and Brut….

 
 

Note to self: Email my kids in college with a reminder not to stand in front of cars in the middle of streets, especially downtown streets in large metropolitan cities.

Also too: Refrain from yelling “Fuck you, pigs” at policemen.

Just things you can’t tell them too many times.

 
 

PLUCKIN’ POOPIES! POOPY PLUCKIN’!

 
The Kid from Kounty Meath
 

Maybe while you’re at it you should email policemen to tell them it’s still not okay to hospitalize veterans even if a college student said something that hurt their wittle fee-fees.
Nah, just fucking with you.

 
 

I have to admit that some of the candidates’ houses are surprisingly modest. I would’ve thought being a corporate tool was more rewarding than that. Michele.

 
 

I’m impressed Dennis’ spawn made it to college given the major handicap of (presumably) sharing 50% of his DNA.

 
 

I’m impressed Dennis’ spawn made it to college given the major handicap of (presumably) sharing 50% of his DNA.

Colleges need janitors too.

 
 

Note to Dennis:

YOU, on the other hand, please feel free to thin the herd.

 
 

Colleges need janitors too.

And they DO hire the low normals for jobs like this. You know, like in Flowers for Algernon.

 
 

Five to one he claims he caught it but decided not to say anything.

 
Enraged Bull Limpet
 

test

??

 
Enraged Bull Limpet
 

test

????????????

 
 

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