Overheard At The Salad Bar*
Posted on September 16th, 2011 by Tintin
Shorter David Brooks, New York Times:
The Planning Fallacy
- Because it took the Israeli government eight years to change the high school curriculum in Israel, there is no way that the federal government can fix the U.S. economy.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*Cf.
There’s an awesome pic out there of Bobo on his cell phone.
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Alternate shorter: Democrats suck. Republicans suck too. (Because they’re too much like Democrats).
Live! From the Applebees Salad Bar!
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Bobo peaked as a serial killer on Criminal Minds.
David Brooks should be beaten with red-tipped staves, stuffed into a leather bag with a rooster, a monkey, a dog, and a poisonous snake, and thrown into the Potomac (or the Hudson, depending upon where he’s found).
Cato –
Why the hatred for roosters, monkeys, dogs, and snakes?
If the Israeli government fixed our economy in eight years, a lot of people would be pretty impressed.
For teh Emperor of Food Pr0ns:
Booboos in Paradise.
But you don’t have the power to transform the whole situation. Your discrete goods might contribute to an overall turnaround, but that turnaround will be beyond your comprehension and control.
LOL! YOU WILL NEVER GET CREDIT FOR ANYTHING OBAMA!!! SUCK IT, LIBS!!! THEN BOOKMARK IT!
Franklin County was a place where “no blue New York Times delivery bags dot driveways on Sunday mornings … [where] people don’t complain that Woody Allen isn’t as funny as he used to be, because they never thought he was funny,” he wrote. “In Red America churches are everywhere. In Blue America Thai restaurants are everywhere. In Red America they have QVC, the Pro Bowlers Tour, and hunting. In Blue America we have NPR, Doris Kearns Goodwin, and socially conscious investing.”
god, this man is a tool! i am so annoyed right now…big insurance companies forcing their consumers to use QVC pharmacies even when there is not one within 3 fucking hours driving distance is hurting our main street local pharmacies…don’t even get me started bobo, you fucking ponce!
More defeatism. “Our problems are too hard for us to fix, so why even try?”
The current rightwing meme. It’s why we must now tolerate all our bridges falling down and our food poisoning us.
We often say “why does (Brooks) hate America?” in mockery, but it really is true. These over privileged oligarch asswipes hate the idea that their lessers have rights at all, and would like to see us all die; Ron Paul slipped the other day and said it out loud. Alan Grayson was targeted for defeat because he hit the target with his “Republican Health Plan for you: Die quickly”.
They hate Democracy, with big and small d. They would be perfectly happy with elections being restricted to white male landowners, and you see efforts to push that direction all over the place.
“Nasty, brutish and short.” it’s a lifestyle they desire for the rest of us.
Why the hatred for roosters, monkeys, dogs, and snakes?
I believe it is a traditional way of saying, that even in that company*, Bobo is not the smartest guy in the room.
*He’s not even smarter than the leather bag.
It’s why we must now tolerate all our bridges falling down and our food poisoning us.
Because taxes kill jobs and won’t somebody think of the poor, abused wealthy of this nation????? Where’s the outrage?
For some reason I still approach these “Shorter” posts with a “yeah, right” attitude. And after reading the longer article I always seem to say ‘yeah, right’, again but minus the sarcasm.
Yes, that was Mr Brooks in a nutshell. Amazing. If I can bump my word count I bet I could get one of these gigs, I’m told I clean up well. That seems to be the main qualification for getting your own column at the NYT.
WHERE TEH FUCK IS TEH WARNING NOT TO GET OUT OF TEH BOAT?!?! You people are monsters.
Shorter Bobo
I thought the shorter Bobo was:
“I got mine…fuck you peasants.”
Come to think of it, that’s pretty much the shorter for every Bobo column.
Alternate shorter Bobo:
I think that Bobo doubled up on his stupid pills this morning.
WHERE TEH FUCK IS TEH WARNING NOT TO GET OUT OF TEH BOAT?!?!
“Shorter David Brooks” was not sufficient warning?
Of Bobo’s many douchey qualities is this – he sez because X can’t fix every problem with Y, and will have certain unintended consequences, we shouldn’t even try X.
Except where X is war and Y is a middle eastern hitler/ annoying sand people / latino populist, this argument disappears. Collateral damage, so to speak, only concerns Bobo when it is not connected to wars.
Come to think of it, that’s pretty much the shorter for every
Bobo columnconservative.Why does the NYT insist on publishing this piffle?
“I got mine…fuck you peasants.”
Only quibble, you left out the “nigger, nigger, nigger” and “uppity wimmins” distraction matrix.
However your distillation is pure.
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Except where X is war and Y is a middle eastern hitler/ annoying sand people / latino populist, this argument disappears. Collateral damage, so to speak, only concerns Bobo when it is not connected to wars.
To be a conservative, you somehow need to believe that government is inherently, physically, scientifically incapable of doing anything even remotely right except on matters that involve people in uniform, at which point it suddenly transforms into the most infallible, unquestionable, morally righteous institution that has ever or will ever grace the face of the earth.
Fucking logic, how does it work?
Why does the NYT insist on publishing this piffle?
Because the New York Times, like the Washington Post, is owned by an entitled Richie Rich/plutocrat douchebag?
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“Shorter David Brooks” was not sufficient warning?
You got me there. I have no one to blame but
myselfObama.Why does the NYT insist on publishing this piffle?
Because thirty years ago someone accused them of being liberally biased, accusations of same continued without end, so the butthurt, traumatized feefees, threats from corporate advertisers…Then at a Bilderburger, or Davos meet and greet it was suggested that the best way to oligarchic hegemony was to muddy the waters to keep low information voters (the one’s who unfortunately choose our leaders) misinformed.
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To be a conservative, you somehow need to believe that government is inherently, physically, scientifically incapable of doing anything even remotely right except on matters that involve people in uniform, at which point it suddenly transforms into the most infallible, unquestionable, morally righteous institution that has ever or will ever grace the face of the earth.
Fucking logic, how does it work?
I just wanted to see this again!
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OT.
Pulled up from downstairs:
You know, there’s a lot of things to criticize Sarah Palin for, and many more to mock her for, but she was single and and adult, so she jumped a guy. I don’t figure there’s anything wrong with that.
I’d agree with you ZRM, if Palin wasn’t a race baiting right winger (redundancy department alert).
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hmmmm.
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You follow me — because obviously sitting around saying, “We want to cut this,” is much more abstract than even the busing thing, and a hell of a lot more abstract than “Nigger, nigger.”
…except on matters that involve people in uniform…
…Unless, of course, that uniform is for the Post Office, in which case you are a worthless anachronistic socialist parasite, or TSA, in which case you are a clueless crotch-groper who should only be screening brown poeple, or ATF, in which case you are a jack-booted Nazi thug who is part of teh liberal one-world conspiracy to disarm true American patriots.
To be a conservative, you somehow need to believe that government is inherently, physically, scientifically incapable of doing anything even remotely right except on matters that involve people in uniform, at which point it suddenly transforms into the most infallible, unquestionable, morally righteous institution that has ever or will ever grace the face of the earth.
Actually they have been working hard to privatize the military as well. Republicans believe that the only federal government workers we need are a Republicann president, Republican senators and Republican representatives. All the tax money can then go to their payroll, healthcare and retirement. The only jobs they will have to do is to declare war and vote themselves pay raises.
You follow me — because obviously sitting around saying, “We want to cut this,” is much more abstract than even the busing thing, and a hell of a lot more abstract than “Nigger, nigger.”
Prezactly!!!11
Just got caught up on Drifty. Though I think I was first made aware of the Atwater quote by Digby some four or five score moons ago.
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ZOMG! QUICK!
I need a 500cc neural enema here, STAT!
Yes, it’s teh one & only Smirkin’ Bobo, ladies & germs: man of a thousand faceplants! He walks, he talks, he crawls on his belly like a reptile … & he gets paid like a motherfuckin’ rock-star for this hideous geek-act!
Why nihilism is the new dubstep, Bobo-style:
Difficult things should be avoided. Unpopular things should be feared like death itself. Giving any reasons for these deeper truths would only weaken & sully their inherent magic. We are but the helpless fate-tossed automata of a merciless universe, which is why thought itself always causes only problems, & not solutions.This moderate path to safety is the eminently pragmatic reason why we as a society chose to remain living in trees & caves while eating mud, inbreeding, & worshipping volcanoes, bears & lightning.
…except on matters that involve people in uniform…
Not anymore. They have stopped pretending to give a shit about cops, firefighters and military personnel. They’re collateral damage in the war on those lazy tenured teachers who are teaching unAmerican science type stuff and making phat stacks of cheese doing it.
Pulling up from downstairs
Chris’s point, if I may, is not that repugs give a shit about people in uniform – they don’t – but that repugs only believe gubmint works when people in uniform are asked to do shit.
And this holds not so much for teabaggers, who don’t know anything about shit, but slimy neocon fucksticks like Brooks who would know better except they don’t hang out with people prepared to tell them they are stupid and evil.
Typical Repig argument:
Use a lie (New Deal didn’t fix The Depression) to support a lie (Austerity rawks because deficits). Smear on a helping of phony intellectualism, phony attempts at balancing the argument, then play to inherent laziness and a natural tendency to simplify things to make them easier to understand.
“Doing stuff is hard. We shouldn’t even try. Here is an example that proves exactly nothing.”
and making phat stacks of cheese doing it.
Worse still: it’s GOVERNMENT CHEESE.
I’m with ZRM. “Ha ha you fucked a black guy and now everyone knows” is icky. Not that I have sympathy for her because I’m JUST THAT AWFUL but National Enquirer-type reporting is always bad all the time. I appreciate that sexual hypocrisy is a big part of her program, but that’s easily argued against without spelunking through her vagina.
And Brooks’ goal in saying that shit: More austerity, continue to strangle the federal government until it’s pretty much worthless to anybody but the multi-national corporations and investment brokers.
It’s WORKING and I DON’T LIKE IT.
spelunking through her vagina
Politeness forbids me from making any comments about anyone’s mother, but that probably won’t stop the rest of y’all…
spelunking through her vagina.
Ya sure talk purdy, Substance.
spelunking through her vagina.
Thanks for that. Please pass the brain bleach and the icepick.
I’m with ZRM. “Ha ha you fucked a black guy and now everyone knows” is icky. Not that I have sympathy for her because I’m JUST THAT AWFUL but National Enquirer-type reporting is always bad all the time. I appreciate that sexual hypocrisy is a big part of her program, but that’s easily argued against without spelunking through her vagina.
Also, pointing out what happened during the Reagan administration doesn’t say much about her now, except that she used to be fairly normal and now she’s a fucking train wreck. All the pointing and laughing over this seems kind of stupid to me.
I want to know, who’s thinking about Glen Rice in all this? Can’t be easy being on Sarah’s highlights reel.
Why does the NYT insist on publishing this piffle?
What else is there to do while the country falls apart like piece of shoddy lawn furniture from Wal-Mart, after being run by the neighbor’s delinquent teenager?
spelunking through her vagina.
Before you all scream for brain bleach, think about the alternative cave and thank your lucky stars that visual didn’t come to…oh.
Sorry.
What pisses me off about McGinniss’s book is that Palin gets to play the martyr once again, and this time, she isn’t completely full of shit.
DEMOCRATS (including Lieberman)
1-Sen. Mark Begich (D-AK)
2-Sen. Michael Bennet (D-CO)
3-Sen. Tom Carper (D-DE)
4-Sen. Kent Conrad (D-ND)
5-Sen. Chris Coons (D-DE)
6-Sen. Kay Hagan (D-NC)
7-Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-MN)
8-Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA)
9-Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-CT)
10-Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-MO)
11-Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV)
12-Sen. Bill Nelson (D-FL)
13-Sen. Mark Pryor (D-AR)
14-Sen. Jeanne Shaheen (D-NH)
15-Sen. Jon Tester (D-MT)
16-Sen. Mark Udall (D-CO)
17-Sen. Mark Warner (D-VA)
18-Sen. Ron Wyden (D-OR)
List of DINOs (plus Holy Joe Liarman, who isn’t even a DINO anymore) who think we all have it too good, and so we need to GO BIG on spending cuts.
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Oh FY, tsam. Now I have to imagine the Jeebus butt-plug she was using while she was being nailed by Rice, to counteract the sin.
Gah!
HAHHHAHAHAHAHAHA! HILARIOUS!
List of DINOs who think we all have it too good, and so we need to GO BIG on spending cuts.
Awesome. A third of the Senate thinks we haven’t got enough austerity yet.
The comments under that article were not exactly supportive.
I’m kinda torn about this. Using a woman’s sexual history to malign her is bad. Horribly bad. EPIC FAIL bad. It’s about as bad as making victims pay for their own rape kits.
Wait. I’m not torn at all – even if she was apprenticing under Whale Chowder’s mom and had moar hours logged on glory hole duty than teh next ten sluts combined – heck that would only improve my opinion of her. OMG! you mean Sarah Palin’s a hypocrite? Liek you needed to know who she’s boinked in order to say that.
To reiterate and join to of my previous thoughts;
Sarah Palin is not a conservative. She’s an actress playing for the single-digit-IQ audience. She’ll be whatever she needs to be to keep the money rolling in without doing any actual work.
This revelation, assuming it’s actually true, just proves that at one time, she was a pretty normal girl and has gone steadily downhill since 1987.
… playing for the single-digit-IQ audience. She’ll be whatever she needs to be to keep the money rolling in without doing any actual work.
That’s what we said. She’s a Republican.
Wait. I’m not torn at all
Unlike your mom, after Actor got through with her.
I agree that Palin’s sexual history from 30 years ago is irrelevant. Even her own abstinence-only FAIL with her daughter is almost irrelevant, after all nobody who’s been a parent can say their kids have done everything they were told.
There’s plenty of stupid, mendacious and pointless from her own mouth and actions in the last two years to condemn her to “Fox News Personality” status forever.
Again, it’s not “ha ha you fucked a black guy and now everyone knows,” it’s “ha ha you fucked a black guy and now all the racists you’ve been grifting off of for the past 3 years know.”
I personally could give two shits who Sarah Palin has fucked. From what I’ve gathered, that would be pretty much everyone who has ever had the misfortune to cross her path, for most of whom it was not a pleasurable experience. But she’s been pandering to racists for the past 3 years. They’re her meal ticket. And perhaps the ONLY thing that could have ever turned them off of her would have been the notion that she had offered up her pure white womanhood to a big black penis. Which, it turns out, appears to be exactly what happened.
I’m sorry, but that’s a fucking schadenfreude sundae.
You know who I feel bad for in all of this? Rice’s son, who attends the same high school my best friend’s kids attend in Marietta, GA. Think how that kid must feel, with everyone he goes to school with knowing that his dad once slept with that racist harpy. Sarah Palin? She’s never recognized anything as off-limits when being a fucking bitch against anyone she perceived to stand between her and what she wants (Gabby Giffords? “Palling around with terrorists?” David Letterman a sexual harrasser of underage girls? And etc etc etc etc….), so AFAIC there’s not a lot that should be off-limits about her.
Because it took the Israeli government eight years to change the high school curriculum in Israel, there is no way that the federal government can fix the U.S. economy.
What more proof is needed than that!
Ahahjahahahahaah. This kind of fallacious thinking is extremely common.
However, if they can put a man on the moon, they can certainly fix the economy.
Fallacy works both ways.
I don’t think anything is off limits, I just think this doesn’t say much besides reinforce what should have been abundantly clear to everyone after that first speech at the Refuk Convention. She’s a fucking hypocritical piece of shit without an ounce of substance.
I guess the point is that this comes from an expose type book, loaded with anonymous sources, and this particular part comes from The National Enquirer, who decided to hang on to this tidbit until this author came along and asked for it…?
Now that I think about it, I really don’t have a point. Never mind. Carry on.
You know Jennifer, you raise some good points. Quitty McGrift is totes marginalized except by teh folks who run teh news and unreformed racist fuckwits. That this will lower her in teh eyes of racist fuckwits may be enough to put her off teh radar screen forever and we’ll not hear about teh Palins ever again. What a wonderful turnout that would be.
If only. Teh ranks of teh grifted have moar powerful willful ignorance than you give them credit for. They’ll either ignore it or they’ll let her have that one-off encounter to offset that time they fucked teh goat or they’ll rewrite teh story in their heads so that teh evil black basketball player assaulted her against her will or something.
Sure Palin is so vile and awful that it seems completely unfair to treat her with any type of decency or respect for basic human dignity. But that’s teh way it is about basic human dignity – everyone should get it.
Also too, media circuses about her slaking her jungle fever when she was in her early twenties is only going to dicourage women in their early twenties from being slutty slutty slut sluts. That’s an unmitigated bad.
I love how conservatives act as if government always takes super-duper long to get anything done as if (1) governments are not able to actually do a boatload of work very quickly* and (2) no private enterprise has a bizarre bureaucracy that doesn’t actually get stuff done.
*it really doesn’t take that long to get your refund check back, for instance, considering how much work the IRS has at tax time … and certainly even conservatives have to admit, the military — which has perhaps one of our most bizarre and convoluted bureaucracies — somehow manages to be very effective at fighting wars … unless conservatives are going to start to blame the military bureaucracy for the slow progress in Iraq and Afganistan in which case I suspect the results will be about as good for the right as they were when Tailgunner Joe and company decided to respond to Walsh’s gay baiting of Roy Cohn … so I say let the right take on the military bureaucracy …
Even her own abstinence-only FAIL with her daughter is almost irrelevant, after all nobody who’s been a parent can say their kids have done everything they were told. – Whale Chowder
Except (speaking as a parent of a very obstinant daughter) that’s actually a good enough argument against “abstinence only”.
Contrast this, for example, with my parents who, while more conservative about sexual mores than the rest of their generation that came of age in the 1960s, certainly gave us (at home and in religious school — my mom was in charge of the “family life” portion of our confirmation class, oh fer joy) more than we needed or wanted to know in terms of information about birth control, etc. And I managed to remain a virgin until embarrasingly late in life (I did, at least manage to get some before turning 30, but still …).
If you tell the kids not to stick beans in their ears, the one thing the kids will do is stick beans in their ears. If you explain everything about what could happen (both good and bad), then kids will just be squicked out and manage to avoid, to use a quaint phrase, “getting into trouble” for a very long time. Of course, YMMV.
Also too, media circuses about her slaking her jungle fever when she was in her early twenties is only going to dicourage women in their early twenties from being slutty slutty slut sluts. That’s an unmitigated bad.
DKW pinpoints the real danger here. Let us proceed with caution.
… or they’ll rewrite teh story in their heads so that teh evil black basketball player assaulted her against her will or something.
In the absence of any denial or claim on her part that it wasn’t consensual, I don’t think so. Sure, if she were to claim it was a lie or that she was drugged or raped or something, they’d jump at the chance to exonerate her. But that hasn’t happened…and it’s the FIRST time she’s not rushed to ShoutyFace to proclaim victimhood that I can recall. Whether that’s because Rice has already confirmed it and made it hard for her to do by saying nice things about her or whatever, don’t think the Buford Brigade will fail to notice that this is the first time Our Lady of Perpetual Butthurt HASN’T been a victim.
She will lose a lot of bagger love over this.
*He’s not even smarter than the leather bag.
We have a winner.
More defeatism. “Our problems are too hard for us to fix, so why even try?”
The current rightwing meme. It’s why we must now tolerate all our bridges falling down and our food poisoning us.
It is rather impressive how much they’ve sold “We Can’t Do It” and “Think Small” to the general populace, while also pumping up American Essentialism as the reason why we need to invade half the countries on Earth and can’t just wholesale copy successful European systems here to America.
Also impressive is how they manage to keep people from noticing exactly who it is who consistently block or “make difficult” anything that would really help someone.
I would love for things to shakedown non-violently, for government to simply be forced to adapt to the modern era and reform ala the Progressive Era, but I suspect things won’t get better until the rich start hanging from lamp-posts and there are impromptu barbeques outside the Halls of Congress.
Our Lady of Perpetual Butthurt
This has made me smile. I’ll have a wonderful time trying to figure out what the iconography on the stained glass window depicting her will be…
that’s actually a good enough argument against “abstinence only”.
Oh no doubt, and abstinence only sex ed is totally FAIL waiting to happen (cf. Bristle Palin). But that’s a personal failure, is what I’m saying, and she has plenty of public failure to work with. It isn’t necessary to turn to the personal.
No matter how satisfying it might be to point out her own inability to live up to wingnut standards. And yes, that is a nasty smirk you detect on my mug.
*it really doesn’t take that long to get your refund check back, for instance, considering how much work the IRS has at tax time…
That’s too-faint praise for me.
For the second consecutive year, the IRS caught a mistake in my tax return that entitled me to a BIGGER refund. (The first time I overlooked the Making Work Pay credit, or whatever it was called. The second time I made a math error.)
That’s more than $600 extra in my pocket, because IRS was so conscientious. I’ll take that kind of gummit “inefficiency” any day.
If only. Teh ranks of teh grifted have moar powerful willful ignorance than you give them credit for.
well, right. RS McCain is dealing with his wilting penis racist bone on this one by suggesting that TAHHHHD go and assault McGinnis. Can’t admit that his petulant rage is inspired by the softening of his Palin-Love due to Jungle Fever.
Typical wingut chairborne warrior: “Let’s You And Him Fight!”
Again, it’s not “ha ha you fucked a black guy and now everyone knows,” it’s “ha ha you fucked a black guy and now all the racists you’ve been grifting off of for the past 3 years know.”
This is what I was getting at.
They’ll either ignore it or they’ll let her have that one-off encounter to offset that time they fucked teh goat…
Hah, I could see that happening. Also, too, the sin in their eyes has been washed by the blood of Jeebus.
But that’s teh way it is about basic human dignity – everyone should get it.
Absolutely, but i hope that doesn’t mean we can no longer snark on grifters and fools.
Also too, media circuses about her slaking her jungle fever when she was in her early twenties is only going to dicourage women in their early twenties from being slutty slutty slut sluts
Working as I do in a bar and a convenience store (night shift) on bar row in a largish (35,000 student) state university town, I just don’t think this is likely to be a problem.
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It’s not that satisfying in the reformulation either. While I’m happy to see her and her supporters feel bad, it’s essentially relying on their racism for those bad feelings, which is just depressing.
I have now had my first comment consumed by WP, nice!
If I was smart I would compose my comment in an editor and copy paste for easy recovery purposes…I am not very smart and like to live on the edge.
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I got something link-heavy eaten yesterday. I think there’s been an adjustment.
Subby – well, I’m sorry. I tried to come up with a formulation for “you go with the racists you have, not the racist you WISH you had,” but for the obvious reasons it doesn’t work.
If, for once, this causes them to have bad feelings about themselves or another who has appealed to their racism, rather than it being directed at the usual targets, I’ll take it. It’s not noble, or uplifting, or anything good…but who better to feel shitty as a result of ugly feelings than the people who have them or the people who have encouraged them to have them? If they weren’t fucking racists to begin with, they wouldn’t be dealing with these bad feelings. More importantly, no one else would, either.
Freedom of vaginal assembly is a constitutional right!
Hey Jennifer, maybe it will make them rethink their bigotry and accept black people!
Yeah, I believe in the Easter Bunny too.
Erections by secret balling is a keystone of democracy.
On the sexual hypocrisy angle:
I think it matters.
Not to her character. 99% of people want to fuck and the time when we diss women for getting some really should be long past by now.
But, it matters to her policies. As people have pointed out, she has built a career on being this Aryan racist princess, fueling the hatred for black people in our society and aiding the campaign to destroy the remaining safety nets on the promises of black people suffering.
Her audience, the one she has sought out and pandered to, are every grandma and grandpa that disowned their daughter for marrying the black guy or the chick or so on.
But she represents in actions the complete archaic nature and fiction of those worldviews of segregation. Despite their best efforts, people are regularly fucking cross-race and would naturally do so if there wasn’t so much pressure still brought to bear on mixed-race couples and if there wasn’t so much racism in our society.
A world where we can hook up with the romantic or sexual partners we want without culture slamming into us like a cement truck would be a great one and one her audience and her have actively resisted.
Pointing out how no one can live up to these standards of an illusionary “perfect sex life” or “perfect segregation” helps deconstruct them and pointing out the hypocrites lessens the perceived power the “standing athwart history yelling no” seem to have.
My best example is gay rights and how what was already going at a good clip hit a major turning point for the good once every major homophobe in the country was started to be found getting their luggage lifted by the same sex.
On Bristol Palin, dear Bob in Himmel, that has been one of the most relevant things in a long while.
She was the perfect poster child of something we’ve seen for awhile but couldn’t market over the screams of conservatives. That abstinence and other right-wing denial tactics to sex doesn’t actually stop people from having sex and thus leads to more unwanted pregnancies between people wholly unprepared to have children.
For decades, the right has erased humans from all the sexuality debates and now here was the daughter of a prominent politician, one who was raised in a home filled with abstinence messaging and top-down control of the family. Sarah Palin further demonstrated this by having Bristol Palin give up her life, continue raising her brother and kid and walk the pro-abstinence circuit as an act of denial and “punishment” for her “sin” of fucking a jackass who wasn’t ready without adequate birth control education.
But now, we could see the desperate denial of reality and a long needed reminder that these kids that the right gets all “gleeful” about punishing are exactly the type of people not mature enough to be parents.
It got people thinking about their own families and what they’d do if their daughter got pregnant and actually thinking about the people who have to make the decision about trust.
It stopped a hell of a lot of momentum from Team Abstinence and probably saved a large number of sex education programs all on its own.
Overall, Bristol and Sarah shouldn’t be blamed for their sexual choices, but that’s exactly why they are so important and it’s so important to focus on these and point them out. Because they shouldn’t be blamed. Nor should some single mom from the “hood”, nor should some frightened teen from the Burbs, nor should rape victims for who they slept with before, nor should anyone for any sexual choice they make, no matter how ill advised it ends up looking in hindsight.
Sarah and Bristol serve as perfect illustrations of that and who knows may force some tiny growth in their vicious and vile population of followers. That the attempt to retreat to Jesus and declare your family perfect doesn’t affect reality. Drugs, sex, pregnancy, etc… are not just “inner city” problems or things that come from “bad parenting, especially single motherhood”. They are things in our society we need to start dealing with as they are not how the psychotic would wish them to be.
I’m hoping this greater focus on the hypocritical sex lives of our Moralist Overlords will help us really smack that home. That the people telling us who we can’t fuck, who we shouldn’t marry, who we should hate and wish harm, because they weren’t miserable, are off having the same sex as the “degenerates”, because no amount of Jesus can change who we are and what we want.
So yeah, I’m not bothered by the coverage.
And frankly, I’m actually kind of pleased that it isn’t devolving the usual angle stories about women are and is actually just focusing on the hypocrisy, the tragedy of Sarah Palin’s collapse into insanity, and how the racist horde that has seized our narratives will react.
David Corn in Mother Jones has an excerpt that sounds more like the racist grifter we have come to know:
I take back my reservations of criticism of her for this episode. She is awful, and she didn’t deserve the orgasm Glen Rice gave her.
Sorry to go back to BoBo, but wow. Maybe when you get to BoBo level’s of wanktackularishness your editor literally snoozes through your article:
BoBo’s two examples of discrete but not systemic good, teh two things which may have short term effect but little or no impact on teh long range outlook:
-Infrastructure
-Education
Hey Jennifer, maybe it will make them rethink their bigotry and accept black people!
I’m sure it won’t, but like I said, I’ll settle for them just feeling like shit.
Too much hand-wringing over Palin. Politics ain’t beanbag. Why do liberals still think they can win a principled fight against the completely unprincipled?
The open question is whether Palin is “politics” or just an overindulged camwhore.
The real racists, BTW, already noticed that the “First Dude” ain’t white and voted for Chuck Baldwin or sat at home in ’08 stroking their guns. Palin’s cult can’t be reached by reason, innuendo, or anything else.
Palin isn’t in a fight. Not principled either, but she’s just a circus.
The open question is whether Palin is “politics” or just an overindulged camwhore.
what makes you think those are exclusive?
Substance-
Or that their racism has hurt enough interracial couples long enough.
We’re talking people who’ve disowned children for being “race traitors”. The ones who have made life unpleasant for interracial couples like my aunt and uncle who have gotten flak their entire life and had their options truncated regularly because of it and who have often been made to feel small or wrong by these types of people. The ones who have bolstered and tried to extend societal racism so that a black man in certain areas is automatically suspect and where his sexuality is presumed violent and non-consensual when with a white woman (and where white male sex with black women is always considered consensual no matter how battered she is). The ones who still reinforce new segregations by creating the suburbs, by removing as much of an ability to leave the “inner city” as possible, who have in every way tried to limit the possible connections a person could make with a person of a different race, greatly seeking to reduce the potential we all could have for romantic or sexual fulfillment, not to mention the joys of friendship or cultural exploration.
Sure, said forces are losing and losing more every day. Mixed race kids are becoming more and more common and the old systems of segregation are breaking apart even more and that’s before the internet and it’s ability to connect people from wildly different life experiences.
But they are still out there and still need as much of a wake-up call as possible.
I would gladly act as bodyguard and defend the evil creature known as Sarah Palin from any attack attempt by her “fans” simply out of principle and I hope none of the bears she’s been baiting turn on her in a violent way, but the reminder is a good one.
That these old systems must die. That the war is lost and people should be left to explore or not explore in peace the possibilities life has to offer.
Too many have had their lives lessened because of who they love, who they’ve fucked, whether they’ve fucked, who they’re friends with, and so on and so forth.
And that shit is what this is really about. Shaking up the racists and reminding them that the “pure white queen” they assume was carefully protected from Black person influences by being in one of the whitest places on Earth, still found connections, still found passion, still found an ability at one point to see as human enough to enjoy erotically.
In short, that their delusions have no perch in reality, that being free of “taint” is both impossible and not at all a good thing.
Will it penetrate?
Of course not.
But it might force them to back down a bit as their ability to trump Palin as the perfect fetish object for the Stormfront crowd will now require even more cognitive dissonance.
It might remind them that they are alone and they really need to get over it and acknowledge that they’ve pumped one out to Hale Berry…or Barack Obama…or both.
Srsly. He could have dug out any bit of teh Jobs bill to criticize for their short-term only effects – temporary payroll tax relief or extension of unemployment benefits. And while these do have systemic effects (of staving off teh systemic shift of a large number of people becoming unemployable) it’s a way more believable argument thatn saying that infrastructure and education spending have no long term effects.
Fucking hell, BoBo is dumb.
Yep. Hey everybody, look at $arah!
(And ignore those politicians who are getting all bipartisany and deciding that you all have it to good, and need to make some sacrifices for the sakes of Lockheed Martin, Citibank, etc.)
~
Earlier comment: I realized after I posted it that it wasn’t exact, but it’s close enough. Security agencies, basically, minus the ATF because OMFG Second Amendment! but everyone else is OK.
The TSA wasn’t a target until the recent installation of scanners that scan everyone without regard to racial criteria, and I have a funny feeling that whenever the Goopers take back the White House most of that whining’ll die down instantly.
As for the teabagger attacks on things like police departments, as far as I understand they’re happening mostly at the local and state level. But at the federal (“big government”) level, I haven’t heard of anyone trying to defund the military, the intel community, the FBI, the DEA, the DHS or anything other than the ATF. The national security state is alive and well and will continue to be for some time.
Chris’s point, if I may, is not that repugs give a shit about people in uniform – they don’t – but that repugs only believe gubmint works when people in uniform are asked to do shit.
This. Thanks bro.
I think it’s hilarious that the Palin’s are giving McGinnis’s book so much free publicity.
If they’d simply “no comment,” or “I was young and foolish, but that was a long time ago,” there are many serious news outlets who would stop covering the book.
Who know, maybe they’re all in it together, McGinnis and the Palins? He’s giving them a cut of the royalties for promoting the book – the whole outrage thing at him moving in next door was a great publicity boost, and now their reaction.
I guess shorter me is following this quote:
That no one really lives up to wingnut standards. I mean, maybe there’s a tiny handful who naturally desire the bland, vanilla life wingnuts want everyone to have, but for the vast majority it’s a constricting box woefully blocking so many options with meaningless guilt over bullshit social constructs.
And that’s the point. That no one can live up to it. Not just “sinning liberals”, but also the all-so-sainted kings and queens of wingnuttery. And that needs to be shouted from the rooftops because these fuckers are using their fictional allegiance to an impossible standard to demand greater moral weight and force in all of our arguments.
They are “moral” so we should regard them with wisdom above their actions.
And that’s the shit that needs to be pointed out and unrooted at every turn.
No one lives up to this shit. No one is made moral by it. And they can kindly STFU and let us sinners be ourselves.
You know, because we’re all fucking sinners by their approximation.
Freedom of vaginal assembly is a constitutional right!
If you have to assemble your vaginas before getting down, UR DOIN IT RONG.
Also too, media circuses about her slaking her jungle fever when she was in her early twenties is only going to dicourage women in their early twenties from being slutty slutty slut sluts. That’s an unmitigated bad.
that, i think, goes without saying..
Also OT – first saw this at Susan of Texas’ place, and then again at Crooked Timber – so apologies for flagging an internet tradition you’re already aware of. It’s a great post about Teh Origins of Money. Read teh whole thing.
She is awful, and she didn’t deserve the orgasm Glen Rice gave her.
Sarah Palin orgasiming…. i think i just threw up in my mouth
Overall, Bristol and Sarah shouldn’t be blamed for their sexual choices, but that’s exactly why they are so important and it’s so important to focus on these and point them out. Because they shouldn’t be blamed. Nor should some single mom from the “hood”, nor should some frightened teen from the Burbs, nor should rape victims for who they slept with before, nor should anyone for any sexual choice they make, no matter how ill advised it ends up looking in hindsight.
Sadly, I have a feeling that Palin will be exonerated just like Bristol was. Single moms from the hood, frightened teens from the burbs and rape victims will continue to be spit on as sluts and welfare queens, and anyone who points out that by that standard the Palins should also be slammed will be held up as an example of liberal media bias.
Tribalism, also too.
On Bobo:
It also seems the shorter Bobo is:
Hey, we’ve defunded education enough that you haven’t heard of the New Deal, right? We have? Good. Yes, we’ve never been able to do any big systematic project that affected anything.
Another piece that never seems to get brought up?
The fact that “what would be wrong with short-term solutions?
I mean, people are suffering now and if we are truly powerless to affect any large-scale effect which will simply cycle without us like some powerful wave, then why don’t we just help them?
I mean, if we can’t control the systematic and it will correct itself with and without our input, then the suffering of the poor is temporary by definition. Thus, focusing on short-term relief to get them through the days until the economy picks back up again “automagically” would be our greatest good and the point at which it would make the most sense to spend our money. It would keep people from dying and suffering needlessly.
It also still makes austerity a terrible idea. I mean, if the system is so big that our attempts to change it are futile. Then that is still true for conservative attempts to change it by cutting back on the purse strings and trying to starve the recession away. Such efforts will do nothing against the giant majesty of Big Systematic and thus will only ensure needless suffering during what would be by definition a temporary setback.
And it would be a Aztec-style sacrifice, needlessly killing people to try and stave off “ill effects” from something wholly beyond control and entirely cyclical. Of course, the sun will rise tomorrow, we didn’t need to kill millions to find that out.
By his nihilistic argument, his worldview actually looks worse and his opponents’ even better. That’s a pretty impressive fail.
Extra double-bonus on that money origin thing. Teh interview. Further proof of debt and credit pre-existing money or barter?
Chris-
Well, of course, but it’s a cumulative effect. They exonerated Ted Haggard for his “gay mistake”, but the sheer numbers of gay homophobes has made it a common joke even among “moderates” that every homophobe is probably hiding a love for sausage as it were.
And that culture becomes one where these people aren’t fearsome moralizers we must cotton to and treat as normal, but one wherein said people become the “freaks” who one is expected to shun.
The endgame is not to convert the fuckwads, but to get the stupid sons of bitches known as the moderates to use their “eek, hide in conventionality” powers to see people as human rather than join Team I Hate Marginalized People, Now Love Me.
In short, the goal is not to make the teabaggers realize they are terrible people, it’s to prevent ever again having to hear from someone who should know better go “Huh, maybe the teabaggers have a point what with those welfare queens and ACORN”.
However, if they can put a man on the moon, they can certainly fix the economy.
The Israelis put a man on the moon?
.
By strange coincedence, teh last comment on that amargi link is also about Sarah Palin’s vagina.
ALL. ONE. GUY.
what makes you think those are exclusive?
Like I said: open question.
Palin has a hard core of cultish supporters who will be voting for Perry, sitting home because Perry and Romney are total RINO’s, or something in ’12 anyway. Independents don’t like her because the “quitter” label still sticks. She’s a low-value target this cycle.
Romney or Perry are better targets, especially since (other than “quitter”) no one can seem to land a punch on Palin. But–Palin–ooh shiny!
Ratfucking. How does it work?
Well sometimes the left engages in moralism too, its just more of the social justice, environmentally conscious kind.
None of this is lost on wingnuts, they just prefer to enforce social norms out of a fantasized 1950’s small town America (with a double helping of monster trucks and guns) while the poor die in squalor, foreigners are crushed under both official U.S.A. armed imperialism and unofficial coporate empire building, and the skies are choked with poison, the forests are slashed and burned to stumps and the rivers burn with excess chemical sludge.
Whereas under a more left-wing moralism, people would live in a northern European style welfare state with free healthcare and education and real social mobility, while suffering the burden of higher taxes and maybe neighbors that either don’t go to church or are gay and not ashamed of it.
Clearly the answer is to live tax free in suburbia, force our neighbors to conform to 2500 year old notions of propriety and continue to drive suburbans until civilization crumbles around our ears.
After everything goes to shit, I am totally joining the Post Apocalyptic Young Gentlemen’s Motorcycle club.
Alright, wildly off-topic, but there’s some pretty high-quality snark getting posted on the Facebook wall of Olive Garden in response to the wingnuts going post-nuclear about Michelle Obama thumbs-upping the restaurant for having healthier menu options. Yes, I’m biased because I’m one of the snarkers, and because a lot of the snarkers are friends of mine and I’M SO PROUD OF THEM.
See, I know what you mean, but my first impulse is to say “exonerated of WHAT?”
Let’s not bicker and fight over who fucked who. This is a HAPPY occasion.
Romney or Perry are better targets
IF ONLY PERRY WOULD FUCK A BLACK GUY.
See, I know what you mean, but my first impulse is to say “exonerated of WHAT?”
It is an easier but less acurate way of saying “not persecuted by the right for something that the right nomally loves to get on their high horse about.”
Shorter me: IOKIYAR
In any case, thus far I think it’s mostly an imagined reaction on our part. If you can buy that Palin’s fit for office you can imagine it’s a big lie.
IF ONLY PERRY WOULD FUCK A BLACK GUY.
Who said he didn’t?
Maybe Palin had an abortion or two or a lesbian fling in her wild years.
This shit’s gotta start somewhere. I’m just asking questions.
Yeah. Cuz we all know Palin and her ilk are just FUCKING THE COUNTRY.
@PUP…
Hey, I saw your suggestions a couple threads back and really really liked them. I was in the mood for round meat, so I still made meatballs, but I loved your suggestion of adding chutney to the mix. Chutney squicks me out but I like using it to sweeten things. Alas, I had none.
Anyway, the meatballs turned out phenomenally…just unbelievably light and tender and flavorful. And your idea of adding almonds? Brilliant. Did it!
No one lives up to this shit. No one is made moral by it. And they can kindly STFU and let us sinners be ourselves.
Again, this is the honor culture vs virtue culture thing.
Wingnuts are honor culture types so they know good and well they’re full of shit and don’t live up to the standards they’re pushing but they don’t care because what matters most is that they said the right thing in public.
Note: this is why our cries of “HYPOCRITE!” never have the shaming impact on them that we think they should– caring about having your private behavior match your public persona is a virtue culture thing and honor culture types just don’t give a fuck about that.
Did someone mention The Bobo?
If McGrinnis didn’t pay Palin to provide publicity for his book, he should have. Their reaction is getting him a whole lot more press for it than he otherwise would have.
It would be irresponsible not to.
Your discrete goods might contribute to an overall turnaround
Obviously he mis-spelled “discreet goods” and was talking about noise-free vibrators.
That’s you’re problem, Smut. You’re always thinking inside the box.
Eh?
Caught it before you had a chance to say anything, Smut, Mr. “I Cant Let the Smallest Fucking Mistake Pass or Take into Account the Common Bastardization of Words.”
Monsta!
Some people believe Sarah’s family paid for her to have a hush-hush abortion as a result of the hot whiskey sexxy time with Rice. Others believe she carried the baby to term and sacrificed it in an African voodoo witch doctor ritual in exchange for fame and power. The Palin family has not denied (or confirmed, or probably even heard) these rumors, but it would be irresponsible not to spread the story. I also heard from a guy who knows someone who went to Alaska one time (OK, not “Alaska”-Alaska, actually Dairy Queen, but close enough) that the baby was actually put up for adoption, and underwent the same skin bleaching procedure Michael Jackson had, and grew up to be–you guessed it–Levi Johnston. I’m not saying it’s true; I’m just saying it should be repeated. A Lot.
Steer, if you had written that shit about a Dem, Fox would already be running with it, like Jerry Rice with his crotch on fire.
like Jerry Rice with his crotch on fire
How many Rices did Snowmobile Snooki fuck, anyway?
.
omg, NEAT
Sorry VS, but that’s got to be a hoax, and not a very good one.
Oooh, ooh! Illustration of my point!
Thank you Dennis. You are too kind.
Sorry VS, but that’s got to be a hoax, and not a very good one.
After all, Earth is only 6,000 years old!
.
Well somebody better tell PZ!
The Palin family has not denied (or confirmed, or probably even heard) these rumors, but it would be irresponsible not to spread the story. I also heard from a guy who knows someone who went to Alaska one time (OK, not “Alaska”-Alaska, actually Dairy Queen, but close enough) that the baby was actually put up for adoption, and underwent the same skin bleaching procedure Michael Jackson had, and grew up to be–you guessed it–Levi Johnston. I’m not saying it’s true; I’m just saying it should be repeated. A Lot.
Oh. My. Dog. She went back in time and had a baby which she allowed a mixed race couple to adopt. IN KENYA.
“Nasty, brutish and short.”
Wait. Are we talking about NZ politicians again?
Chutney squicks me out
vs is BANNED.
“Nasty, brutish and short.”
Wait. Are we talking about NZ politicians again?
Well, if we were talking about Wisconsin politicians, we would have to add “lazy-eyed”.
Chutney squicks me out
Who is Chutney?
“Nasty, brutish and short.”
Wait. Are we talking about NZ politicians again?
I thought it was Ron Paul.
Kevin Drum wrote basically the same thing last year:
http://motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2010/10/schools-and-poverty
Isn’t it great not having a left in our country?
Alex-
At least we have plenty of “moderates”, what with their consistent principles and proven ability to see through obvious lies when it supports something they were planning to do already.
With that, who needs a left?
Isn’t it great not having a left in our country?
Teh 180 work days a year bs is pretty fucking ripe coming from Kevin Drum. Pisses me off all these wankers that think teachers unions are teh worst of teh worst.
We price out teaching so that teh people we get working in teaching are pretty comfortably middle class. Pretty comfortably above median salaries. Because these are teh people you are entrusting your kids to. FFS, every time I sees one of these stories about overpaid underworked teachers I know that first, I am dealing with someone that has no clue about what is involved in teaching and second, have given it about as much thought as when they POOP their own pants. Not just right-tards but Kevin Drum here and BM Matt every fucking other day.
Teaching is a profession. We value teachers as a society. BECAUSE WE TRUST THEM WITH OUR KIDS. They end up shaping the learning experiences and understanding of the world of our children. It’s not a small task. Certainly moar valuable to society than wanking off about economics or politcial bullshit.
Fuck.
DKW-
It has been very surprising to see of late how many fuckwads seem to view teachers as some sort of babysitter. And then, how many seem to think they should be underpaid babysitters.
It is also “hilarious” how many fuckwads seem to have belatedly noticed that the free market that was supposed to give them all millions and free blowjobs has just used the lack of unions to fucking steamroll them and fuck them in the ass.
And have decided that the only response to that is to target every industry with a still functional union or government mandated middle class salary and try and shred it down to the ground.
Hey, I know you thought the deal was “more money in private industry, more security in public government” and that turned out to be a naked lie, but that had nothing to do with the poor saps teaching your kids or delivering your mail or ensuring that your daily commute from the fucking suburbs doesn’t wreck your car. You entitled fuck.
And how good was that “we’re in the stock market now with our 401Ks” deal anyways? What’s that? So bad that you’re now on a smash and destroy mission over pensions? Yeah, I’m sure that’ll bring your money back.
And that’s pretty much the part that’s going to make this the hardest to clean up. How when the middle class got fucked over by the rich, it was so easy to set them against the remaining middle class and attack themselves over the “unfairness” of others getting what they passed over in search of “fast cash”.
It’s not their fault for supporting a bad system that fucked them in the ass, it’s those damn teachers taking summers off (when they aren’t needing to work them just to pay the bills as more often occurs in reality, not to mention the unpaid overtime working on assignments, grading papers, talking with parents, dealing with needy students, or running any number of extracirculars) or those damn unions who barely managed to protect a few remaining rights for their oft-abused workers.
And it’s because they assume that class is a matter of respectability. They’ve “earned” middle class by being respectable “productive” members of society who have “good” jobs and so no public service punk, especially if they are melaninated should ever get the same or more just because the system has fucked over the unprotected workers and unemployed in this country.
Back in the day before teh EBIL ENVIRONMENTLISTS killed them off, a buddy of mine had a souped-up 500cc dirt bike and I got to ride it a few times. Man, when that two-stroke came on the pipe (yes, make of that what you will…) it felt like a 500cc neural enema. Fun in a “dear FSM I hope I live through this” sort of way.
Actually, it’s a great idea, because there’s no such thing as a “moderate.”
“Moderates” are either a bunch of completely uninformed fuckwits too stupid to understand what’s going on in the world (sound familiar?), or they’re faking it so they can just pretend “oh, I’m ‘moderate’ — I like to be in the comfortable middle.” They can then pretend to carefully weigh “both sides” and then just happen to really like the option that benefits them the most. Oh, and that just happens to always be the most conservative option because duh, they’re really conservative.
So fuck yeah, call them stupid, or liars, cause they’re either stupid or lying.
Or, you know, you could tell us what you define as a “moderate” other than what I’ve laid out here (yeah, right).
And dammit, there I go feeding trolls. I’m hereby banishing myself to head out to a really fancy craft-beer/sake/cheese tasting, because I’m an ebil liberal elite. Or something.
Or the “I’m an Independent, I vote for the most qualified candidate” –
Which just so happens to always always always be the Republican.
You know, there’s a lot of things to criticize Sarah Palin for, and many more to mock her for, but she was single and and adult, so she jumped a guy. I don’t figure there’s anything wrong with that.
If my understanding of the rules of the game is correct, it doesn’t really matter whether you make fun of Palin’s sexual history or not. What matters is that someone has written a book that mentions a past liaison, and therefore LIBERALZ R ENGAGED IN POLITICKS OF PERSONAL DESTRUCTION SKREEEE.
“What’s the difference between Sarah Palin’s mouth and her vagina?”
One’s an infected festering gaping hole that you’ll forever regret if you ever had the great misfortune getting in close proximity with and the other is a vagina.
“Moderates” are either a bunch of completely uninformed fuckwits too stupid to understand what’s going on in the world (sound familiar?), or they’re faking it so they can just pretend “oh, I’m ‘moderate’ — I like to be in the comfortable middle.” They can then pretend to carefully weigh “both sides” and then just happen to really like the option that benefits them the most. Oh, and that just happens to always be the most conservative option because duh, they’re really conservative.
The mushy, moderate “centrists” are the guys who rallied to Reagan because of tax cuts and small government and have been absolutely enamored with that part of his agenda… but won’t go all-out teabagger because they still want their welfare state, just, y’know, wish it didn’t have to cost so much. From that, you get a schizophrenic “I want to have my cake and eat it too” attitude.
They prefer Republicans, but they won’t back them on the stuff that Republicans really want to do, like Gingrich’s Medicare strangulation plan, or Bush’s Social Security privatization plan. They’re also the guys who’re still connected enough to reality that when the GOP well and truly fucks up the economy like in the early nineties or late 2000s, they’ll abandon ship, hold their nose and vote for a Democrat to fix things – but abandon them within two years when they realize that 1) fixing things costs money and 2) OMG those Democrats are so… Democrat! (They trashed the place, and it’s not their place, dude!)
I suppose they stop us from sliding into all-out teabagger ideology, but they’ve also possibly done even more than the teabaggers to make this government deadlocked and the budget unmanageable. So yeah… fuck them.
Fun in a “dear FSM I hope I live through this” sort of way.
As a country brat, I sometimes skipped merrily along cliff-edges. Same thing but less motorcycle-y?
Yes, the truth is out: my secret super-power is EPIC DARWIN AWARD FAIL.
Let’s not bicker and fight over who fucked who. This is a HAPPY occasion.
Obligatory rawk-link … ENHANCE!
omg, NEAT
Emily Baldry: outed as a Jedi.
Thought for the day:
If the efforts of courageous people like Michele Bachmann fail, your daughter might one day say this after being introduced to that cute boy in school, “Woot Woot Hooray! I don’t have to worry about getting cervical cancer in 30 yrs because I got a shot that time. I can totally have sex with him now.” This will be all your fault.
Public health policies that enable disease-free hot teenage monkey-sex are teh HILTRE of liberal fascism.
So now Bobo’s working the angle that the world is too complicated to understand, so we just shouldn’t do anything to be on the safe side?
In other words, he has now stooped to cribbing from Megan McArdle? Is there anywhere farther to sink, or is that the pundit basement already?
The only problem with hot teenaged monkey sex is how difficult it was to find. Youth: still wasted on the young.
“What’s the difference between Sarah Palin’s mouth and her vagina?”
I thought the punchline was “Only one thing that came out of her vagina has been retarded.”
You know since Bobo is so enamored of these homespun CW pithy sentiments here is something I’m sure he would understand: A fail to plan is a plan to fail.
Did somebody say Dick Chutney? Or am I imagining marvelous canned delights made from a cerain Vice President?
How many Rices did Snowmobile Snooki fuck, anyway?
“Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years.”
Anyway, the meatballs turned out phenomenally…just unbelievably light and tender and flavorful. And your idea of adding almonds? Brilliant. Did it!
Meatballs with pignoli and raisins are really good.
The Israelis put a man on the moon?
Yeah, they were looking for water.
Ooh, that’s a good one, Cerberus. Especially the idea of calling moderates dumb sons a bitches. Speaking for myself, I like that. A lot.
Ha ha, I get it! It’s funny because the one and only platform of the modern Republican Party is to denounce everyone else in America as subhuman degenerates!
Not me! Not even I’m that desperate.
“Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years.”
SuperawesomeWINball.
.
What to you so long to say it, Rick?
Be sure to read the comments–they’re a fucking riot.
It’s CALLED gayhad. Geez.
And, yes, the comments are great.
Not me! Not even I’m that desperate.
But a little head…
Especially the idea of calling moderates dumb sons a bitches. Speaking for myself, I like that. A lot.
It’s a step up from your job as useful tool.
Especially the idea of calling moderates dumb sons a bitches. Speaking for myself, I like that. A lot.
This just drips with that sactimonious sarcasm that is the hallmark of a self-important fucking HIPSTER.
Dennis, if you’re a hipster, GTFO!
Dennis, if you’re a hipster, GTFO!
He gives hipsters a bad name.
Dennis watched that video – Being a Dickhead’s Cool – and thought it was serious.
Dennis, don’t get us wrong – it really doesn’t matter if you’re a hipster, just GTFO.
Aw, Dennis was concern trolling and I was asleep. How shall I ever overcome my grief?
Especially the idea of calling moderates dumb sons a bitches. Speaking for myself, I
likeprove that. A lot.You’re welcome.
How shall I ever overcome my grief?
I recommend piling on with the insults.
BTW Dennis, if that IS your real name, sanctimony and self important ranting is OUR job you fucking toolshed. Now go away.
“democrats…besotted with the myth that the New Deal ended the Great Depression..”
It’s a fact the depression ended in 1939 and US didn’t really gear up for war until ’42. So, let’s believe that “invisible hand of God” ended the depression.
shopworn sanctimony and self important ranting is OUR job
There ya go, bud.
Ah, nothing brightens up a shopworn Sadly thread like a troll to whack on. Thanks, Dennis!
There ya go, bud.
What would I do without you, Emporer Pup?
BADGES!
I already have my wetsuit Bronze badge! I’ll have my Ultimate before the day’s end!
I think with regards to the concern troll, I found it cute that apparently my life was supposed to revolve around chasing after his concern like a puppy dog hoping to be “one of the good ones” long enough to totally trigger his transformation into someone who’ll support my rights, maybe, well, only until some liberal obliquely insults them or makes them feel threatened and then they’ll be forced to be more conservative in response, FORCED, I say by the meany meanness of liberals.
What’s funny, is that I encounter that worldview a lot and not in the concern troll way, but rather just the conservative asshole hiding in a skin-deep liberal position who will reveal their total disregard for the huiman rights for people if they are challenged in any real way, usually on the obvious conservative beliefs they are trying to pretend they don’t have.
Even more funny is this supposed way my life is supposed to revolve around these fuckers. I’m supposed to be all convincing all the time (ignoring that speaking truth to power and confrontation are often more effective “convincing” strategies than playing nice and fluffing the egos of those who fail to respect you) and twisting myself into knots for these idiotic headcases and emotional hell zones.
Cause, see, for them, politics is a game. A game wherein they earned unearned respect by being “in the middle” and “being too principled for a party” and “able to see through both sides”. Wherein the most important issue is who’s fluffing their ego and not asking them to change (shockingly this will always be conservative ideology).
But for the poor saps like me, politics is fucking real. It’s a matter of whether I live or die, whether I go broke and have to forego shelter or food. Whether I can get the hormones I need, whether I can successfully walk the streets without being attacked, and whether or not I can seek employment. It’s whether or not I have health care and so on.
For us poor saps in the many potential “minority” groups or who are poor, our very lives are the “political situations” that so-called moderates want to reduce into a psychodrama about their fee-fees and who sucked their dick and called them a genius lately.
Yeah, it’s not about over-privileged man-children and those too enamored of the safety of conventionality that they will turn the rights of others into a convenient bargaining chip or demand that said minorities dance for their amusement.
By being a moderate, one admits that they have no real respect for anyone not a white male, no real acknowledgment of their humanity or the suffering of a majority of Americans or people around the world, because it is so much more important to seek the open pandering of our culture and the safety of “conventionality”.
And that’s why I hate those fuckers and always will.
It doesn’t help that so often that these days they are just conservative concern trolls like Bobo who mostly work on trying to make far-right ideas seem like conventional wisdom or try and get the remaining tatters of a left in this country to abandon all principle and righteous fury in a desperate attempt to extend their stay teabagging the faces of America.
But hipster stalker of actor2112 (probably Le Donalde, honestly, I remember Le Donalde doing a few concern troll shticks in his heyday so this character would not be very far removed), we’re too tired to come up with recipes after the marathon session of fucking the shit out of your mom.
Literally. That is a woman who loves her scat play.
Seriously though, this is probably the most tired concern troll routine I’ve ever encountered and that’s saying something. I mean, the person doing it is barely putting any damn effort and really, that’s more offensive than the shtick.
If you’re going to waste your meaningless and empty life trying to reduce the joy of people on a snark blog, you can at least put some God Damned effort into it. Spice it up, come up with a real character we can reference for months after your psychotic break with reality finally catches up with you and the futillity of your existence stares back at you in the mirror.
I mean, troofie was annoying but he gave us “Bookmark it libs” and “LLLLLLLLLL”.
I just don’t see you having any impact, either here or in your daily life, an unfortunate nod of the head at the fart trail of a life, one wasted without ever trying to do anything to help anyone or make any real impact.
No wonder your wife left you so many years ago.
No…you want more Palin?
There’s a surprise.
Professor Conan T. Barbarian at Trinity College, Dublin.
For the link-phobic: “His Ph.D thesis is titled ‘To Hear the Lamentation of Their Women: Constructions of Masculinity in Contemporary Zamoran Literature.'”
would you mind ruminating out loud some more on the great moral lessons on the meaning of life we can find in the great story of the new Sarah Palin rumors?
Ha ha, I get it! It’s funny because Republicans literally worship Sarah Palin as a religious icon.
Professor Conan T. Barbarian at Trinity College, Dublin.
Naturally, one of the commenters took the opportunity to complain about feminists and political correctness. There’s always one.
would you mind ruminating out loud some more on the great moral lessons on the meaning of life we can find in the great story of the new Sarah Palin rumors?
Would you mind fucking yourself up the nose with a chainsaw?
You left out the starbursts bouncing all around the room.
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Shorter Dennis: “I still don’t get it.”
Dudeskull got you up?
Yes and no. But i was up for nice reasons.
Let’s get ready for some football.
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This is a test. This is only a test. Had this been a real comment it would have contained food pron and/or scathing (albeit shopworn) humor.
I’m very concerned that our concern trolls aren’t concerned enough. There’s too much complacency in Dennis’ concern trolling. If he’s not concerned about our behaviour, and I’m afraid it very much seems like he’s not (and least, not very much), how does he expect us to be concerned about our behaviour.
I’ll grant that concern trolls serve a necessarily function. How else would we know when we’re being too liberal without someone expressing concern that we might be going a bit far, and, in doing so, alienating our good friends on the right? But I’m just not buying Dennis’ concern. I’m concerned for Dennis, and, by extension, concerned for all of us.
I’m concerned that this thread has become shopworn. Can someone kick off something new plz?
Here, have some POOP.
I am concerned.
“Turdologist”–now there’s a shitty job! Interesting they chose that acronym for their phone number. The last 4 letters are superfluous, of course, since the number would be 866-887-3656 (866-TURDOLO). Could just as easily be “Turdology” or “Turd O’ Logs” (which would make an icky kind of sense). Or they could have left it “Turdolo”, which sounds like a creepy Shakespearean villain. Shame the number couldn’t be 887-365-6447. (TUR-DOL-OGIS). That would still leave one number left over, though. It could be 887-365-6442 (Turdo Logic) or maybe 887-375-3666 (Turds Log-In, which sounds kinda high-tech) And yes, I have way-hay-hay too much time on my hands waiting for football to start…
Too bad they couldn’t spell out TURDBURGLAR.
Agree.
I just realized it sounds like I was oversharing. I wasn’t. I wasn’t up for any sort of oversharing reasons.
I just realized it sounds like I was oversharing. I wasn’t. I wasn’t up for any sort of oversharing reasons.
way to disillusion your fan base.
Yes. There are 2 very disappointed people in the world now.
Yawn
Ahem. 2?
Good lord. Why am I not high on something right now?
thats an excellent question. glad i’m not asking it.
All right! One and a half! (The half is Dudeskull.)
Belgium reveals the secret to prosperity: no government means no austerity measures.
Because you’re a responsible person. DOESN’T THAT FUCKING SUCK?
can we not be both?
hmm.. guess not.
Go Seahawks! BWAHAHAHAHAHA
You shutup pup!
Stupid seahawks
You’re totally right kg. From now on, I will just say no!
Thank you for saving me from myself
I’m concerned that being concerned about the thread being shopworn is shopworn.
I’m concerned at the slow winding-down, till finally no one posts any more comments to the shopworn thread, and it becomes like the little boy robot David in A.I., frozen forever under the waves at Coney Island, only feet away from the object of desire, the Blue Fairy, until thousands of years later awakened by alien visitors.
Which would be fine except for the aliens may not have PENIS or BUTTOCKS or even understand the concept of POOP, which means it will all come to naught.
I’m concerned about the dropoff in snark production across the country. Do we need a five year plan to increase the production of snark? If we’re not careful, our snark jobs will be outsourced to Chinese 12-year-olds and then where will we be?
Also, too, I was attending marching band camp over the weekend with Young Chowderette and I was counting on you slackers for high quality lulz to allay the boredom. The twelve or so posts since Friday evening were, to say the least, a disappointment.
Let’s step it up here, people! Lurkers and trolls are counting on us!
Im concerned about everyone being so goddamned concerned. Y so serious?
Concerning the concernment, I am concerned.
At least the Titans were able to dispatch the Dirty Birds.
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I am concerned that the thread has moved from shopworn to poopworn.
.
At least the Titans were able to dispatch the Dirty Birds.
Who are the dirty birds?
.
Containing the concernment.
.
Who are the dirty birds?
Ray Lewis and those assholes.
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Ray Lewis and those assholes.
Band name!
And thanks, though in my impatience I went to espn to find that out and to see that my Vikes lost another close one.
Bonus is live soccer on espn3
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I guess I can only listen to the game 🙁
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Making homemade ketchup.
Silly thing to do in a hot kitchen, but it sure smells good.
ahh flash crashed. Napoli v Milan. Series A. Sweet. game just started.
.
You knw what this place needs? A schnazzy favicon.
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(and more vowels)
.
(and Sarah Vowell)
.
(maybe a favicon that looks like Sarah Vowell)
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Okay, I’ll try to contribute something. Triggered by Marion w-a-y upthread…
Perhaps the classic Martyr in the center, flanked by two Patrons who bought the window for the Basillica of Wingnutiness … St John McCain and St Roger Ailes, kneeling on each side, in attitudes of prayer, transfixed by her.
As in classic iconograpy, the painting must show the instruments of Our Lady’s martyrdom. I think she should be standing on a bonfire-like mound of Liberal press clippings. In one hand she holds to Holy Rifle that slew from on high in the air … the first of many Miracles. Perhaps Our Lady’s other arm cradles a swaddled babe, indentifiable only by the Mystic Campaign Button affixed to the blanket.
In the pane with Our Lady’s face, insert a finely-faceted crystal to depict the Wink.
Our Lady must be bathed in radiant light–shafts also fall on the transfixed faces of the two Patrons–and she is crowned with the glittering Celestial Tiara of the Beauty Contest. Rich are her robes, the Most High of High-end Fashion. And in the pane on which Our Lady’s face is painted will be inserted a finely-faceted crystal to portray the Immaculate Wink.
The central panes with Our Lady and her Patrons should be surrounded by depictions of Saints and processions of Martyrs and Holy Virgins.
The whole window should be ginormous. Sorta like the East Window (*) in York Minster.
(*) Largest single expanse of medieval stained glass in the world; it is about the area of a tennis court. Its panels depict the Apocalypse in Revealtions.
to see that my Vikes lost another close one.
Perhaps Brett Favre can be lured back!
I am concerned that I am not more concerned about being unconcerned.
Also, on his 11-month-birthday, Mini__B walked across the room several times. And the adults around acted like idiots over this, while he stared at us and giggled.
Perhaps Brett Favre can be lured back!
Acme EGO TREATS™ for those times when you need to attract camera whores.
Why am I not high on something right now?
Wafting some yer way via the Internets Tubes, tsam. I hope this works!
Wafting some yer way via the Internets Tubes, tsam. I hope this works!
HEY! We’re not sposed to talk about that!
Acme EGO TREATS™ for those times when you need to attract camera whores.
This would be a good time to remember he played for the Jets for a season also.
Bears got stomped, but at least Stanford won.
This would be a good time to remember he played for the Jets for a season also.
Fortunately I am neither a Jets fan nor much of a follower of football.
Our Lady of Perpetual Butthurt
Don’t forget the glowing red butt.
Ideally it should pulse a bit. Or flash on & off maybe. Can we work some neon into this? Tastefully, of course.
Also, on his 11-month-birthday, Mini__B walked across the room several times.
On my 49th birthday, I was pulled across Newport by two dogs on leashes.
Dried up, blowed away.
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I’m concerned that this thread has become shopworn.
This thread will never in its wildest nightmares get a single percentage of a dust-mite’s cunthair as shopworn as Bobo’s “we must all unite to seek teh glorious enlightened middle way” schtick. The happy medium between sanity & psychosis is still fucking insanity. From what little actual content I can siphon out of his Beltway Bubble smarm & autohypnotic droning, Bobo wants a technocratic & atrophied state, & seems to just not like the messiness & risk of holding open elections much at all. Worse, as a media buffoon he’s about as popular as Limbaugh – the Chinese, for example, hang on his every word – & about as bright as a dump truck.
Alternative Shorter Bobo:
“Economy goes up, economy goes down. You can’t explain that!”
Can we work some neon into this? Tastefully, of course.
This topic is relevant to my interests & I would like to subscibe to your newsletter!
Also: never fear,
UnderdogInternetMan™ (WARNING:NSFSanity, NSFAppetite, possible triggering,) is here!Bite me.
Pretty good Iggles/Fuckin’s game on…
Before you all scream for brain bleach, think about the alternative cave and thank your lucky stars that visual didn’t come to…oh.
Sorry.
by this i can only assume that you are referring to alkon’s vag…ewww, indeed…
Also, on his 11-month-birthday, Mini__B walked across the room several times.
On my 50th birthday, I intend to not be able to walk across the room.
Hey, I saw your suggestions a couple threads back and really really liked them. I was in the mood for round meat, so I still made meatballs, but I loved your suggestion of adding chutney to the mix. Chutney squicks me out but I like using it to sweeten things. Alas, I had none.
Anyway, the meatballs turned out phenomenally…just unbelievably light and tender and flavorful. And your idea of adding almonds? Brilliant. Did it!
damn you! i just finally got over the meatballs and now i am yearning for them again…
All right, this has gone on long enough. I’m going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there had better be a new thread here. I’m not kidding.
Good night all
Alternative Shorter Bobo:
“Economy goes up, economy goes down. You can’t
explaincontrol that!”Shopimproved!
And thanks, though in my impatience I went to espn to find that out and to see that my Vikes lost another close one.
i still cannot believe you are a vikes fan…and i still cannot believe that any one is surprised with their continued suckiness…
Totally on-topic*….
Just start singing and then bull ahead with the same tune:
Puff the Magic Dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Hanalee
The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed
If not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Minnow would be lost….
Coincidence? I think not! Yes, I’ve had a few beers, why do you ask?
*Not intended to be a factual statement.
Just start singing and then bull ahead with the same tune:
and then go sync up wizard of oz and dark side of the moon…
Somebody finally posted that online. It wasn’t that impressive.
Now maybe Piper At The Gates Of Dawn would have worked. I mean, it even has a song about a scarecrow.
Are any of you sleepyheads tuning in to the New York feed right now?
Somebody finally posted that online. It wasn’t that impressive…
it is awesome however when you are substitute teaching in h.s. american history and you are lucky enough to be studying the 30s and 40s and the cranking up to wwii…
No, I didn’t kill the thread. I tried to revive it. But it was already dead when I got here. Nothing anyone could.
Forget about it, Jake. It’s Sadlytown.
I remember hearing the lyrics from Gilligan’s Island to the tune of Stairway to Heaven on Dr. Demento back in the day. IIRC it matched up surprisingly well but I was tremendously ripped at the time.
Shorter Bobo photo caption:
DERP DERP
Okay, I’ll try one more thing. Movies. Everybody loves movies, right?
I recently signed up for the Netflix free month dealie-bob. Here’s what I’ve watched so far, in sequence. (*)–previously seen the film.
1982 Blade Runner [director’s cut] (*)
1995 The Usual Suspects
1988 Moon Over Parador (*)
2010 Alice in Wonderland
1986 Name of the Rose
1979 Murder by Decree
2005 Syriana
2000 Best in Show
1964 The Train (*)
1949 Twelve O’Clock High
1980 Hopscotch
2001 Gosford Park
1999 Topsy-Turvy
1967 Hombre (*)
1992 Last of the Mohicans
1995 The Usual Suspects (*)
1982 Dark Crystal
1988 Eight Men Out
2010 Restrepo
1998 Ronin (*)
Suggestions welcome.
ronin is my guilty pleasure of a movie. When de Niro blows up the car on the road above nice….. Class
No critical commentary?
All I can add is that I saw a version of Blade Runner in the cinema, & I think I saw The Train somewhere. (Or was it Von Ryan’s Express? I know I’ve seen that on the telly, at least.)
Otherwise, I haven’t seen any of those.
Currently on the DVR, most recently recorded first:
Looking For Love (Sez it’s a one-star suckfest, leading to a [bogus] appearance on The Tonight Show [“… w/ a properly embarrassed Johnny Carson.”] circa 1964.)
The Mouse That Roared (*) (Extra credit w/ Fenwick.)
Destination Tokyo (*)
The Thing From Another World (*)
Hooray for TCM.
Also on the DVR: A load of tee vee crap.
DVDs purchased used for US$10.00 or less that I haven’t watched yet:
Dr. Strangelove (*)
Hollywood Boulevard
I Am Legend
Iron Man
The Searchers (*)
Monty Python and The Holy Grail (*)
Monty Python’s Life of Brian (*)
Watchmen
Free DVDs as yet un-watched:
The Departed
The Terminal
Conclusion: Too much time on the Internet, ’cause not enough attention span to sit & watch the same damn thing for more than 10 mins. at a time.
ronin is my guilty pleasure of a movie
“You ever kill anyone?”
“I hurt somebody’s feelings once”
I remember hearing the lyrics from Gilligan’s Island to the tune of Stairway to Heaven on Dr. Demento back in the day.
Who could forget Little Roger and the Goosebumps…
Oh.
And ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, me maties!
tHE FACT IS, oBMAMAS tax for job creatyors is proof he wants to destriy USA and is Hitler.
“I hurt somebody’s feelings once”
Piker. I hurt people’s feelings crossing the street.
So, anyway, Brightblart is now straight-up calling for civil war. Found via this den of ill-repute.
Piker. I hurt people’s feelings crossing the street.
mowing down innocent pedestrians as they cross the street qualifies as more than just *hurting feelings* in my book, mister!
This is more fun if your pirate lingo is not ilimited to “Arrrrrr!” and “Walk the plank!” and “Scurvy bastard.” Or something like that.
This is more fun if your pirate lingo is not ilimited to “Arrrrrr!” and “Walk the plank!” and “Scurvy bastard.” Or something like that.
shiver me timbers! this is one of my fave days…i get to roll out my lame pirate jokes…yay!
also too, this link is indeed more fun than the previous where blartblart is once again celebrating ‘talking out your ass’ day…
Look who’s tweeting now!
Apparently, I have nothing of importance to say. From now I’m just going to communicate through links.
It’s going to be difficult finding that much sausage.
mowing down innocent pedestrians as they cross the street qualifies as more than just *hurting feelings* in my book, mister!
Mowing people down is more difficult than you’d think, seeing as how I have no car or driver’s license.
Mowing people down is more difficult than you’d think, seeing as how I have no car or driver’s license.
oh yeah…i tend to forget that most people live in a place where you don’t have to drive a bazillion miles to get ANYwhere…luckies…
Look who’s tweeting now!
zomg! i am so glad i no longer have young ‘uns in my house…
Apparently, I have nothing of importance to say.
sure, you might not, but your influence is pretty freaking far ranging…i am making meatballs for this evening’s meal…these ones are ground pork with cheddar and apples in them…perfect for a midwest fall evening…
also, since we’re tackling complex and fallacious problems here, which is it: supper or dinner?
omg…the entire world is struck with ennui…the weather channel just aired a segment on heinz’ new ketchup packets…sigh…
This made me giggle.
Meatballs with apples and cheddar sound delicious, so long as the apples are diced fine. I have a THING about cooked fruit. (Excluding squashes, tomatoes, etc.)
yes it is indicative of the hot new dance craze that is sweeping the nation. Teenyboppers at sock hops everywhere are doing the Weltschmerz. Come on everyone, do the weltschmerz!
I was at Target the other day and they have all the Halloween candy out, so I grabbed a bag of M&M’s that the packaging design was in a sort of scary-ish motif.
They were really just regular M&M’s, but somehow it seemed to me they tasted better.
Maybe it’s just me but I found this fascinating.
Anyone have similar experiences?
Regarding TLAP Day, I have a secret guilty pleasure favorite Pirate Movie. It’s Frasier Heston’s 1990 adaptation of Treasure Island, starring the director’s father as Long John Silver, and a young Christian Bale as Jim Hawkins. Say what you like about Charleton Heston’s politics, and I will agree with all of it, but you have to admit the man could act. His Silver is spot-on, and he delivers cliche lines like “Shiver me timbers”, and “Dead men tell no tales” as freshe as if he had just thought of them that moment. Great stuff.
Anyone got a favorite shashbuckler recommendation they’d like to share with the group while we’re waiting for the new thread to be spun?
This is more fun if your pirate lingo is not ilimited to “Arrrrrr!” and “Walk the plank!” and “Scurvy bastard.” Or something like that.
*AHEM*
Mowing people down is more difficult than you’d think, seeing as how I have no car or driver’s license.
That hasn’t stopped any number of people…
Come on everyone, do the weltschmerz!
I like mine on an onion bagel.
Say what you like about Charleton Heston’s politics, and I will agree with all of it, but you have to admit the man could act.
If by “act,” you mean portray a living human being as a cardboard figure, then yes, I concur.
I will be forever grateful to Heston for keeping Science Fiction alive between the Golden Age of the Fifties and the reinvention by Lucas and Spielberg in the Seventies. Whether he could act or not, he was a MOVIE STAR!
I was at Target the other day and they have all the Halloween candy out, so I grabbed a bag of M&M’s that the packaging design was in a sort of scary-ish motif.
yesterday at target i almost bought a buttload of halloween m&ms because the sign said PRICE CUT $2.66!!! My mil then pointed out the ones directly below it that were marked $2.69…i was crestfallen…and did not buy a buttload of m&ms out of spite…and a spiking blood sugar problem due to a diet that has consisted mainly of peanut m&ms…
If by “act,” you mean portray a living human being as a cardboard figure, then yes, I concur.
they can take my guns when they pry them from my room temperature cardboardy fingers…
If by “act,” you mean portray a living human being as a cardboard figure, then yes, I concur.
damn….corrugated would have been a better choice, but i will nonetheless make another attempt at a funneh…
i am cardboardacus!
His portrayal of Moses, was every bit as convincing as John Wayne’s portrayal of Genghis Kahn.
Anyone got a favorite shashbuckler recommendation
um…duh! jack sparrow…talk about shivering my timbers!
Arrrr. Matey.
It is important to drink a ration of grog today and every day. It is full of rum, or, as I call it: ‘vitamin ARRRRRR’.
Whether he could act or not, he was a MOVIE STAR!
That, I’ll concur with.
His portrayal of Moses, was every bit as convincing as John Wayne’s portrayal of Genghis Kahn.
Or Tony Curtis’ “Yonda lies da cassull of mah fadder.”
okay…pirate jokes…
what’s a pirate’s favorite subject in school?
what kind of socks does a pirate wear?
the hook and the glass eye…
the red shirt/brown pants…
look them up…i can’t do everything…
Anyone got a favorite shashbuckler recommendation they’d like to share with the group while we’re waiting for the new thread to be spun?
The best pirate flick ever made was “Captain Blood.”
The first PotC was really good, of course.
i am cardboardacus!
That was Kirk Douglas.
Who really is corrugated.
Heston’s best role was “First Stooge” in “Bowling For Columbine”
He was the poor man’s Ronald Reagan.
That was Kirk Douglas.
man, talk about your epic funneh FAIL…okay…but you at least have to give me points on the pirate jokes!
but you at least have to give me points on the pirate jokes!
It’s an eyepatch, not a glass eye.
also, since we’re tackling complex and fallacious problems here, which is it: supper or dinner?
I am given to believe that the word “dinner” used to be used to connote a more formal meal, usually involving guests and/or extended family, whereas “supper” was merely the traditional final meal of the day.
but you at least have to give me points on the pirate jokes!
It’s an eyepatch, not a glass eye.
oh, feck…
do u know why a pirate has buccaneers?
also, since we’re tackling complex and fallacious problems here, which is it: supper or dinner?
It depends on how cute she is.
do u know why a pirate has buccaneers?
To hold onto during the buccan blow job.
Jack Sparrow–pff. The first Pirates of the Caribbean was fun, especially with all the tableax they worked in from the original ride, but the rest of the series has been just embarrassingly horrible. Depp is one of the best actors of his generation, but that series makes him look like a no-talent hack (Well, that and The Tourist).
do u know why a pirate has buccaneers?
To hold onto during the buccan blow job.
no, perv…to hold up his buccan hat!
but the rest of the series has been just embarrassingly horrible. Depp is one of the best actors of his generation, but that series makes him look like a no-talent hack
agreed…
The latest movie in the series “On stranger tides” is based on a book by the same name by Tim Powers. It is a fantastic book of piracy, voodoo and swashbuckling. If you like that sort of thing, you owe it to yourself to find a copy. It of course had nothing to do with the ‘Pirates of the Caribbean ‘ series but was hacked up and made to fit, with predictably depressing results.
Depp is one of the best actors of his generation, but that series makes him look like a no-talent hack (Well, that and The Tourist).
Odd.
I think it shows him at his best, but I speak from a strictly “fan of craft” standpoint there.
His character study is superb. Admittedly, the last two (haven’t seen Stranger Tides yet) took many points off his performance in the first film, but his Jack Sparrow…well, put it this way: for me, the mark of a great actor is watching him without thinking “Hm, that Johnny Depp is terrific!”
I totally believed his Sparrow from the first appearance onscreen. There are very few actors who can pull this off as well as Depp. By contrast, I thought his Willie Wonka was egregious scenery chewing bilgewater.
BTW, I felt the same thing about his turn in The Tourist. He had me believing in his character right up to the end (trying not to post a spoiler). His character work was really good. Not his best work, by far, and I expected more from him, but he didn’t mail in the performance the way Angelina Jolie did.
On the subject of pirate books, check out Long John Silver: The True and Eventful History of My Life of Liberty and Adventure as a Gentleman of Fortune & Enemy to Mankind by Bjorn Larrson. He takes the story of LJS and makes a pastiche, with the character’s life before the events in Treasure Island as well as after, when he has retired to live on Madagascar with a native wife. Great stuff
His character study is superb. Admittedly, the last two (haven’t seen Stranger Tides yet) took many points off his performance in the first film, but his Jack Sparrow…well, put it this way: for me, the mark of a great actor is watching him without thinking “Hm, that Johnny Depp is terrific!”
his character study is amazing…i agreed with hacktacishness because i despise it when a really great role or movie is turned into a franchise…which is nigh unpossible these days…
all in all i am a raging fangirl of depp’s and the only movie i was truly disappointed in watching him in was stephen king’s secret window…but that was really my bad from the beginning being as it was a work of the latter day stephen king…
I thought his Willie Wonka was egregious scenery chewing bilgewater.
I didn’t see his Willie Wonka* but I definitely felt this way about his turn in Alice in Wonderland. There’s a line between “over the top” and “give me a break”, and he tends to cross it (likewise in Sweeny Todd).
*As far as I know, he hasn’t seen mine, either
Steer, rumour has it he made Alice so that Disney would be forced to give Tim Burton another movie.
I am looking forward to him in Dark Shadows, I have to admit.
Ahoy mates! There was a Pirates of the Caribbean festival on some channel or other so we finally saw the first two and have the third DVRed. I had not made the connection until this morning when I got a TLAP day reminder by email.
I am looking forward to him in Dark Shadows, I have to admit.
i would like to see him in full on daylight…and then in the dark shadows…of my boudoir…if you know what i mean…and i think you do…
all in all i am a raging fangirl of depp’s and the only movie i was truly disappointed in watching him in was stephen king’s secret window
Clearly, you didn’t see Public Enemies 🙂
Clearly, you didn’t see Public Enemies 🙂
i did see that one, but not clearly…fangirl lust clouding my inner critic…
Aw, what a shame.
Aw, what a shame.
Wow. A 15% reduction in revenue from projections!
And did you notice the staffing totals? 1400 in 2002. Now 650.
We’re winning, slowly.
Aw, what a shame.
BTW, would this be considering aborting staff?
BTW, I managed to get ahold of a paper copy of the NYT as went off the boat in a technologically primitive way over the weekend. I remember when my daughter was a baby — I could entertain her by reading Bobo op-ed columns to her in the voice in which I imagine Bobo speaking as he writes these flaming piles of horse manure. At a certain point (sometime when she was in preschool), though, she became too mature to find Bobo meaningful or entertaining. I guess that’s “even the liberal NYT” for you — less insightful and more immature in tastes than a 3 year old.
Why in the hell would Disney not want to make another Tim Burton movie? Are they afraid that the next $100 million in the bank will be the one that changes them and makes them forget who their friends are?
Tell you what. I’ll produce the next Tim Burton movie. I’ll release it near Halloween and make $100 million dollars. All you have to do is ask rich people for money, hire an accountant and a director right? Actor, can I put you down for $40? see how easy that is? I’ll do it a million more times and by Thanskgiving next year, I’ll be rolling in cash. It’s not like mopey teenagers and twentysomethings stay hope when a Tim Burton film is in theaters.
*stay home.
Heston gives a superb supporting performance as Cardinal Richelieu in Richard Lester’s classic Three Musketeers.
Depp is one of my favorite contemporary actors. Burton is one of my favorite contemporary directors. Burton seems to bring out great performances from Depp. Only saw first Pirates; enjoyed, especially Sparrow. Not gonna see the rest of the franchise.
Which is why I was so disappointed in ‘Alice:. I thought Depp would make a marvelous Mad Hatter. Huge Fail, imo. Also my least-favorite Burton film.
Just start singing and then bull ahead with the same tune:
Also see “Yes, We Have No Bananas” and “Hallelujah Chorus.”
Also my least-favorite Burton film.
I’m guessing you didn’t see his versions of Planet of the Apes or Sweeny Todd then.
“God has never promised us a certain budget number. We’re sad today but not distraught about the future,” said Focus Vice President Gary Schneeberger.
“Long ago I suppose there was a time when we had fat to trim, but we’ve moved throught that to muscle, sinew, bone — and now we’re scraping out marrow,” Schneeberger said.
ha, ha…god wants them to scrape their marrow! wow, what a cheery dude he is…if this isn’t ‘distraught’ i dunno what is then…
We’ve been able to help tens of thousands of families with their marriages, raising their kids and walking in their faith. Our commitment to that mission is unabated.”
whoa…tens of thousands since 1977?!?!? what a bunch of slackers…i bet one l two ns could do that in her sleep!
I am part-pirate on my Dad’s side.
There is an interesting theory wafting around in some circles that pirates, their aroma & level of etiquette notwithstanding, actually did serious fucktons to maintain & maybe even improve science in pre-Renaissance times. Seems some cold loot-happy motherfuckers were cruisin’ & trollin’ & wenchin’ yonder & back again over a very diverse range of different tribes & kingdoms (who’d each gradually learned their own wise-man/guru/monk stuff) & thus were able to consolidate or select useful knowhow from a far larger data set.
I just got slapped for telling some wench “It’s Talk Like A Pirate day!”
I think it might have been the “yo, ho!” I added to the end…
Actor, can I put you down for $40?
I was saving that for D-KW’s mom.
Heston gives a superb supporting performance as Cardinal Richelieu in Richard Lester’s classic Three Musketeers.
Who noticed staring at Raquel’s decolletage????
The Musketeers in that film were Oliver Reed (who was drunk most of the filming), Richard Chamberlain (who couldn’t act his way out of miniseries hell), and Michael York (who was coked off his ass)
By comparison, Heston had to look better than usual
After 2 years, we finally get a quotable quote from teh Kenian muslim communism Ursuper:
My favorite Heston film is Ben Hur. I didn’t think much of the film the first times I saw it but then I read Gore Vidal’s Palimpsest.
Taken from http://mark-markmywords.blogspot.com/2008/04/ben-hur-and-gore-vidal.html cause that’s the first link that had it.
Heston gives a superb supporting performance as Cardinal Richelieu in Richard Lester’s classic Three Musketeers.
this is one of my all-time faves…this was one my sibs and i would watch every time it was on teh teevee…my little sister is sometimes referred to as ‘constance’ for an unfortunate incident in which she was trying to claim our attention by showing us some moves she learned in gymnastics…lets just say she did not medal in any of her meets…
Poopie! That’s precious!
[quote]His portrayal of Moses, was every bit as convincing as John Wayne’s portrayal of Genghis Kahn.[/quote]
Nyahhh. Where’s yer Moses now, see?
fail.
Nyahhh. Where’s yer Moses now, see?
Truly, he was the Son of God….uh huh, uh huh.
actor, you have to queue it up and watch it again with that knowledge in mind. Whole. New. Movie. That scene where they are reunited? I LOL when I watch it.
Wow, Edward G Robinson AND John Wayne paid us a visit?
Whole. New. Movie.
Like the scene in Spartacus with Curtis and Olivier. That was cut and edited out until TCM did a whole refit a few years ago, and damn if that doesn’t bring out a whole new dimension to Some Like It Hot
“Do you eat…snails?”
With visual enhancement.
I always thought there was something about that spear scene.
How to kiss a woman,by Genghis Khan(John Wayne)
“Do you eat…snails?”
oh barf…
i can only tolerate john wayne in ‘the quiet man’ and ‘the cowboys’…otherwise i cannot watch him!!! oh…and nathan lane’s portrayal of him in ‘the birdcage’…
we got spatulas… and that’s all!
Piracy: Hostile takeover without all the messy paperwork
we got spatulas… and that’s all!
Sy! Sy Greenblum!
Yes John Wayne was brutally miscast in Genghis Khan. Too bad he died before he could play the role for which he was born: Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec in “Moulin Rouge”
we got spatulas… and that’s all!
I Am Spatula!
.
With visual enhancement.
Must see. I had forgotten about that interview.
BTW, having just watched the PotC parts I and II yesterday I have to agree with our own actor. First one Depp was great, clearly having fun with the Jack Sparrow role. Second one was Depp playing Depp as Jack Sparrow.
Too bad he died before he could play the role for which he was born: Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec in “Moulin Rouge”
Meh. He’d have come up short, anyway.
I Am Spatula!
No! I am Spatulus!
Piracy: Hostile takeover without all the messy paperwork
Piracy: Hostile takeover without all the messy paperwork
I’ve always loved how that bit ends up pirating into the main flick.
I think the “Shopworn” meme is now officially shopworn. Much like this threadbare thread. Anybody got anything new we can shopwear?
WE are Spatula!
Not quite what you asked for Steerpike, but have a larf: http://i.imgur.com/TRX5W.jpg
Threadbare is really good, but we already got one a those.
I’m Spatula! And so’s my wife!
Spatula
Not quite what you asked for Steerpike, but have a larf
now SHE’s shopworn. Also gym worn, football worn and band camp worn
WE are Spatula!
I’ve got all my Fiskars with me.
Somehow, you had to know this story was from Florida.
You’ve heard of the Bass-o-Matic, no doubt?
Well….
THIS. IS. SPATULA.
That’s been established.
Dang you Pup Max. Arrrr.
Gotta love the British Tabs. A further link from the “Turn corpses into coffee” page: Our Mrs. Reynolds Yum!
Our Mrs. Reynolds
She really needs to be more careful with her makeup. In one photo there, she looks like Jack Nicholson as the Joker in drag.
Sinead O’Connor tweets suicide threat.
Police yawn, then wonder why James Bond would want to kill himself.
She really needs to be more careful with her makeup. In one photo there, she looks like Jack Nicholson as the Joker in drag
Makeup? You mean like on her face? You were looking at here face? She has a face? Huh. Who knew?
Luckiest. Man. Ever.
You were looking at here face?
I was pondering her mouth, trying to decide if she’d need renovation to fit me.
Lord, she’s crammed the girls in so tight it makes me hurt just looking at it. Cleavage to the chin is a bit much.
Luckiest. Man. Ever.
Now he’s just showing off
I am looking forward to him in Dark Shadows, I have to admit.
These on-set photos make me less sure.
Really? I was thinking more like Terry Schaivo. But yeah, I’m picking up what you’re putting down.
Cleavage to the chin is a bit much.
I dunno. I find its a nice place to rest it while I’m working.
Hee hee. Scientists.
Washington Nationals pitcher Chien Ming Wang beat the Florida Marlins and pitcher Brad Hand.
Filthy headline writers around the country mourn.
I dunno, Actor, those contents are under so much pressure if the seams were to give way you might end up a soprano.
Those breastseses are far too large.
.
That elastic gives out, you’re gonna see a magnitude 8 boobquake.
No they don’t, and for the same reason ‘Dog Bites Man’ isn’t news.
I understand all the individual words, but they just doesn’t make a lick of sense together.
I understand all the individual words, but they just doesn’t make a lick of sense together.
Yeah; I know a lot of men who feel thataways. I’m more of a shape and proportion guy, I guess. She’s strikingly beautiful, though.
.
*they just don’t make sense together.
I was distracted.
I was distracted.
Funny… I thought you were jes tryin’ to sound Southern. (You succeeded at that, by the way.)
lick of sense
Lick a sense?
Dood, ur doin it rong.
OT – Teh whole Netflix/Qwikster thing? Apparently not that well planned.
Those breastseses are far too large
Unpossible!
Now these, perhaps.
(SFW)
i get to roll out my lame pirate jokes…yay!
Peglegs are NOT FUNNY.
OK, we’ve crossed that line from “over the top” to “Oh, Hell no!”
You think those are big boobs? Check these out!
Well….
not really what i was going for…
Now he’s just showing off
i think he is just explaining to her that those are her feet…
fecking nymfail…will this day of FAIL ever end?!?!? honestly…on top of my earlier funneh fails this morning, i have just now noticed that i either spilled peach yogurt on my boobs, or (since it’s a vintage dress) have 50 year old puke on me…and a gaping tear in the armpit seam…
Ugh. The bathykolpiophiles are at it again. Thread needs more hawt guys. Even if they’re shopworn.
The bathykolpiophiles are at it again.
Just for Poopy
Okey-doke.
Lol
Hot guy.
Both a pun and a gift to VS.
.
Like the scene in Spartacus with Curtis and Olivier. That was cut and edited out until TCM did a whole refit a few years ago
Marcus Licinius Crassus: Do you consider the eating of oysters to be moral and the eating of snails to be immoral?
Antoninus: No, master.
Marcus Licinius Crassus: Of course not. It is all a matter of taste, isn’t it?
Antoninus: Yes, master.
Marcus Licinius Crassus: And taste is not the same as appetite, and therefore not a question of morals.
Antoninus: It could be argued so, master.
Marcus Licinius Crassus: My robe, Antoninus. My taste includes both snails and oysters. Also octopus. And squid. Any form of tentacled cephalopod monstrosity. COME THE GREAT MASTER! IA! IA! CTHULHU FHTAGN!!!
Both a pun and a gift to VS.
Thread needs more hawt guys.
The hawtest guy I know.
Aww, thanks, Spear. He is easy on the peepholes.
Pup, it’s worth a click.
My favorite part of the Crimson Assurance piracy short is the name of the company they stage the hostile takeover on, which appeared in another scene in the movie. It’s The Very Large Corporation of America and one of its subsidiaries is (as is shown in the short) Liver Donors Inc..
My bad. It’s The Very Big Corporation of America.
And also, people aren’t wearing enough hats.
My bad. It’s The Very Big Corporation of America.
i no longer derive any pleasure from watching youtube clips here at work. the reason being that for no odd reason (as teh daughter would say) i have a virus that causes random radio stations to play randomly whenever my computer is on…it is very odd and very annoying…IT is stumped…any idears from y’all?
My (Apple) mobile devices will not let me log into YouTube. Really really weird. Spectacularly annoying.
This is the man I voted for. More of this and please, some follow through.
http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/david/obama-not-class-warfare-its-math
My bad. It’s The Very Big Corporation of America.
And also, people aren’t wearing enough hats.
Thanks Jennifer, its good to listen to a Palin making sense.
Also, the quintessential philosophical discussion of hats can be found here:
Both a pun and a gift to VS.
HEY THAT’S FOR ME. M INE MINE MINE
Thanks for reminding me of one of the most awesomest movies ever Jen: Fear of a Black Hat. If you haven’t seen it see it soon. Its the gansta rap version of Spinal Tap. If anything, even funnier. (here is another short scene)
Way to go, GM. Ya done brokeded it, teh thred.
Why E.O. Wilson is a good egg.
And what say ye of Gahan Wilson, arguably more of a pirate than E.O. ever was!
.
The thread wasn’t even a whitey thread. It was one of those olive skinned Italian mutherfuckers and I was out of town at the time; in Cleveland, I mean Toronto.
E. O. WIlson prefers damselflies to NASCAR. There is a drink waiting for him at The Old Entomologist any time he cares to visit.
Note that I don’t have an axe to grind against Wilson, but the reason to like him being that people called him racist is more than a little weird.
you didn’t see his versions of Planet of the Apes or Sweeny Todd then.
Neither.
The best pirate flick ever made was “Captain Blood.”
Agree.
In my opinion, Basil Rathbone was the greatest film villain ever, based on the complete body of his work, and his exceptional work in the swashbucklers. (Rathbone did not use a sword double, btw; that his work on the screen.)
I’ve got a thing for strong villains. That’s why I remembered Heston as Richelieu in Three Muskateers. The film’s other villains are played by Faye Dunaway and Christopher Lee (no mean swordsman himself). The whole film has a tremendous ensemble cast and strrong performances from them all.
Villians. Henry Fonda’s Frank in Once Upon a Time in the West. I watched Hombre again for Richard Boone as Grimes. Lee Van Cleef’s Angel Eyes in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly And that’s just the westerns.
The Bad Guys have always intrigued me. Sympathy for the devil.
Derbyshire makes it sound as though he was there. here’s his version :
From teh wiki
Derbyshite needs to tell us his source.
from a review of derp-yshite’s book:
So, are we “doomed”? Yes, I think so, but I think that one gets a much better analysis of it in the writings of Thomas Sowell, Mark Steyn, and Charles Krauthammer.
yikes…
Tim Burton movies would be so much better if Tim Burton was good at making movies.
the writings of Thomas Sowell, Mark Steyn, and Charles Krauthammer.
also, too…i would much rather read and interpret the entrails of a slain wildebeest…
Note that I don’t have an axe to grind against Wilson
Me neither; he’s all for alternative energy and carbon-emission limits and conservation. Just wondering whether Derbyshire would like to rethink his own admiration of the guy.
also, too…i would much rather read and interpret the entrails of a slain wildebeest…
Would you settle for the entrails of a slain Sowell, Steyn or Krauthammer? Compromise!
also, too…i would much rather read and interpret the entrails of a slain wildebeest…
That’s what McArdle and Althouse are for.
I like a lot of Burton’s stuff. I think “Coraline” is one of the most aesthetically beautiful movies ever made.
I think “Coraline” is one of the most aesthetically beautiful movies ever made.
hmmmmmm…looking at your work, one would never think this of you…
Coraline was written and directed by another guy.
but the reason to like him being that people called him racist is more than a little weird.
Also, his use of the term “good egg” to describe someone infintely more intelligent than himself is weird and a not-veiled attempt to appear on an intellectual plane with Wilson.
Derbyshite: IT’S NOT WORKING.
I liked Beetlejuice, Peewee, and Ed Wood, and Corpse Bride is really very sweet.
I liked Beetlejuice, Peewee, and Ed Wood, and Corpse Bride is really very sweet.
yes, yes and yes…
Coraline was written and directed by another guy.
d00d’s amazing…
Betcha also didn’t like Simon Ward’s Buckingham, Geraldine Chaplin’s Queen, or Frank Finley’s Porthos. (Btw, what did you think of Dunaway and Lee?.
[Small correction: York played d’Artagnan. The musketeers were Athos (Reed), Aramis (Chamberlain), and Porthos (Finley).]
Drunk or coked, what matters is what ends up on the screen. I’m sticking to my position: Richard Lester’s The Three Musketeers is a classic ensemble film. I recommend it to anyone who has not yet seen it. Form your own opinion.
———–
It seems like my efforts to splice a Movie strand into the thread have succeeded! Which almost never happens.
Off to watch la femme Nikita for the first time….
Who the hell doesn’t like Sweeney Todd??
It’s Sondheim, ya cretins!
And they all do their own singing!11!!
You should try singing some of that shit!
P.S. Alan Rickman. Now there’s a bad guy.
Pee Wee and Ed Wood are probably the films of his I enjoyed the most. I’d watch Pee Wee over and over again – I own it! – but my feeling is that the film is more stilted than its performers are. For a long time I thought the road signs being pulled along a dolly and the endless chain on Pee Wee’s bike were directorial jokes, but apparently those only exist in some video releases.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089791/goofs
Bad film, great material and great people other than Johnny Depp.
Forgot the Oreos are playing the night game of a double header at Fenway. (Baltimore won the afternoon game 6-5.)
Baseball trumps movies.
*trumping the movies*
Oh wow.. He didn’t have anything to do with it it. I thought he at least produced it.
Anyway, Sweeney Todd didn’t have much to recommend it besides its looks. Same goes for Corpse Bride. But, wow, what looks!
Coraline was written and directed by another guy. In
ArkansasPortland.Are we still on boobs? Maybe I’m the only one old enough to remember Zena Fulsome?
Of course, if ya just don’t like musicals………………….well okay then.
Yow.
I AM NOT READY FOR THIS THREAD TO END!
.
In my opinion, Basil Rathbone was the greatest film villain ever
His Gisbourne is the one every one else’s has to be measured against.
He was so good at playing the villain that when he was offere Holmes, he didn’t even wait for the offer to be made, he accepted that readily, because he felt he was being type-cast. Oddly, Holmes with his snarky behavior and less-than-obedient legal outlook was probably the perfect role for him anyway.
Are we still on boobs? Maybe I’m the only one old enough to remember Zena Fulsome?
1993? That’s your idea of old?
Defs too late to comment, but Israeli school system politics???? Way to set the bar low there.
(Hint–as if the first page isn’t enough–search for “sephardi”.)