Headlines Are Hard


ABOVE: Ken Shepherd, Managing Editor, Newsbusters (left)

You would think that if your entire raison d’être is to criticize newspapers and other news media, even if (or especially if) that criticism was to demonstrate that every newspaper other than Rupert Murdoch’s White Street Journal was a nest of gay-loving, terrorist supporting, baby killing, gun-banning liberal feminazis, then you would want to have some grasp of elemental journalistic techniques such as how to write a headline. A working knowledge of grammar and syntax might also be helpful to stave off sarcastic and caustic retorts from elitist liberal nitpickers. Sadly, no!

Ken Shepherd, the Managing Editor no less, of Newsblusterers, came up with this headline, which doesn’t quite mean what he thinks it means:

Now while we might all agree that many conservatives, particular those of the persuasion that rapists have the right to father babies by the women of their choice, are woman-hating, we are not so sure Tina Brown is a conservative or hates women.

Managing Editor Shepherd fell asleep during Hyphenation 101 and meant to say “conservative-woman hating” Tina Brown, a large difference which is as unsupported as the idea that she is conservative or hates women. Apparently she hates conservative women because she has launched a foundation call Women in the World which apparently seeks to force conservative women to bear unwanted children — oh wait, it’s the conservative women who want to force that on other women. Shepherd also says Brown “hates” conservative women because she tied a conservative woman to that back of her car and dragged her for three miles said that the election of certain conservative women was a blow to feminism. Over at Newsbusters, disagreeing with a conservative is hate; suggesting that gays shouldn’t even appear on TV unless they are portrayed as dismal, dispirited, suicidal homos who can only save themselves by finding religion and the opposite sex is, of course, an act of love.

 

Comments: 196

 
 
 

heh, poop

brown-launches

 
 

My Headline Is Rock-Hard

 
 

ABORTION, neither here nor there!

 
 

You’re both wrong.

CMS would say either “Conservative Woman–Hating” (note the en dash in place of the hyphen) or “Conservative-Woman-Hating” with two hyphens, depending on whether you think “conservative woman” is a permanent or temporary open compound. I would argue it is temporary, and therefore “Conservative-Woman-Hating Tina Brown” is best.

However, since even that is a bit confusing, as an editor I would have recommended he rewrite the headline to make it clear that he means Tina Brown, hater of conservative women.

 
 

Y U MAD BRO?

From the “Women in the World” launch article:

Some of our storytellers had never left their villages before attending; others—like Hillary Clinton, Madeleine Albright, Condoleezza Rice and Christine Lagarde—are globally renowned but brought their spotlight to the causes of women who needed so badly to be seen.

In April of this year, we invited Kim Azzarelli who had worked so ably at Goldman Sachs and Avon Products—with whom she founded the Avon Global Center for Women and Justice at Cornell University—to come aboard and launch the Women in the World Foundation. She quickly attracted three generous founding partners to set us on our way: Africa Global, Ford Foundation, and The Rockefeller Foundation. She also lined up contributors ANN INC., Marvell Technologies and McGuire Woods to sponsor the tracks on technology, leadership and law and justice.

 
 

Hmmm … a pink flamingo.

As in:

But competition is brewing in the form of Connie and Raymond Marble, who sell heroin to schoolchildren and kidnap and impregnate female hitchhikers, selling the babies to lesbian couples.

Free enterprise, baby!

 
 

By the way, even if Kenny Wayne Shepard doesn’t like Tina Brown, Tina can still eat shit, based on “Condoleezza Rice” & “worked so ably at Goldman Sachs.”

 
Food pron obsessed Emperor of Portland Pupienus Maximus
 

Whoa nu thred! I guess that makes my last comment an OOPS.

 
 

Even if I stipulate the grammar, is it really woman-hating to say “this particular woman, right here, is a bad choice”? Presumably, this dickhead doesn’t approve of President Obama. Has he just given us his tacit approval to make the analogous conclusion about him?

 
 

Also, too, any reputable news-watchdog website wouldn’t have a picture of Dr. Cornelius from the original Planet of the Apes in the upper left corner.

 
 

By the way, even if Kenny Wayne Shepard doesn’t like Tina Brown, Tina can still eat shit, based on “Condoleezza Rice” & “worked so ably at Goldman Sachs.”

No shit. I don’t know why he didn’t profess his faptitude over that shit.

Kenny Wayne be trippin.

 
 

I think it should have been Conservative-woman-hating…but more to the point, I’m confused as to why he’d be so butthurt about Tina saying those conservative-women-fucknuts were a blow to feminism. Don’t wingnuts think feminism is to blame for everything from gay abortions to global warming? If anything he should proudly proclaim, “YES! They were a blow to feminism!” while masturbating to the Michele Bachmann/Sarah Palin slashfic he just wrote.

 
 

Ken: As punctuated, the
Submitted by Ed Gregory on Tue, 09/13/2011 – 3:19pm.

Ken:

As punctuated, the headline to this entry puts things 180 degrees out of phase, because it infers that Tina Brown is a conservative. The hyphen should be moved so it reads “Conservative-Woman Hater Tina Brown…” Or “Tina Brown, Hater of Conservative Women, Launches…”

There is no Hope, and Change is for the worse.

~It ‘implies’
Submitted by Wrathful Brunette on Tue, 09/13/2011 – 3:27pm.

We ‘infer’. To infer is to deduce.

Just sayin’.

heh…that wrathful brunette sure is smart…

 
 

I think it should have been Conservative-woman-hating…but more to the point, I’m confused as to why he’d be so butthurt about Tina saying those conservative-women-fucknuts were a blow to feminism. Don’t wingnuts think feminism is to blame for everything from gay abortions to global warming? If anything he should proudly proclaim, “YES! They were a blow to feminism!” while masturbating to the Michele Bachmann/Sarah Palin slashfic he just wrote.

i agree w/the punctuation…also, too about the feminism…as such, even the wimmens that read kennywayneshepard don’t much care for teh bachmann:

Thing is, she isn’t my cup of tea……………….. but ANYONE that takes in over 20 children and gives them a chance at a decent life is OK with me.

The point here is that BECAUSE she is a Conservative WOMAN, SHE would not be granted ANY “voice” as would NO Conservative WOMAN by the feckless and clueless hack.

I may not agree with every Conservative woman, but they have more balls than most of the men.

Herman Cain for President 2012

hey! conservative women rock! but i won’t vote for one!

 
 

Perhaps a Conservative Woman-loving website launch would make him happy?

He’d probably find it equally distasteful, if they did it right.

 
 

Literacy is NOT a conservative value.

 
 

No matter how you hyphenate it, it comes out SKREEE!

 
 

English is such a fucked up language that maybe he could claim the headline meant what he thinks it means, because, there, aren’t, any, commas. He’d be wrong, but it’s not a completely broken argument.

Unfortunately teh capitalization really does put teh nail in Shepherd’s grammar coffin. Capitalization indicates Woman-hating as a single phrase and Conservative as a separate word. Hard to see otherwise.

And not only that, consider Teh Buttocks.

 
 

…while masturbating to the Michele Bachmann/Sarah Palin slashfic he just wrote.

Who or what gets slashed in a Michele Bachmann/Sarah Palin slashfic?

No,wait. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.

 
 

Who or what gets slashed in a Michele Bachmann/Sarah Palin slashfic?

The word “slash” for specifically gayish erotic fiction comes from “Kirk/Spock”, the first recognizable slash fandom, emerging within a stone’s throw of Trek itself and taking with it things like wingfic, quod vide.

That’s why mine are about what they do when we shoot them both into space.

Also, “conservative woman hater” is so hard to disambiguate from “conservative woman hater” with the tools English has available that he should have gone with his first instinct, “conservative-hating woman“.

The emphasis conveys disgust, at her mysterious and terrible vagina.

 
 

So I’m reading that as Tina Brown who hates women and is a Conservative.
Chicken fucking-Ken, keep on with it.

 
 

Who or what gets slashed in a Michele Bachmann/Sarah Palin slashfic?

can one really be *slashed* with a corn dog?

 
 

can one really be *slashed* with a corn dog?

Spritzed.
.

 
 

Isn’t there a law about the likelihood of committing typos or grammatical errors when criticizing an online post with typos or grammatical errors?

…because she has launched a foundation call Women in the World…

I’m sure you meant to punctuate it thus: “…because she has launched a foundation, Call-Women in the World…” which, I presume is an organization for mature hookers.

You’re welcome

 
 

“Slashed, spritzed and slathered” doesn’t actually sound any more appetizing than a regular corndog does.

 
 

“Slashed, spritzed and slathered” doesn’t actually sound any more appetizing than a regular corndog does.

however, it does succinctly sum up what i imagine to be the process of making a corndog…

 
 

making a corndog…

not so vPOOPr

 
 

Representative Heath Shuler, another North Carolina Democrat, said Congress should tame the deficit before approving new spending for job programs. “The most important thing is to get our fiscal house in order,” said Mr. Shuler, a leader of the fiscally conservative Blue Dog Coalition.

Not to mention, Rahm Emanuel’s star recruit in 2006.
~

 
 

I guess it was bound to happen, but FUCK!

but on the upside, if more dems dislike, then the repubs will like…

 
 

Grammar aside, it is often cute how conservatives will understand that something is being levied against them, some charge or description of their actions which they know is bad but don’t understand in the least. And so, they respond like Pavlov’s dog in the only way they know how, accusing their amorphous “enemies” of the exact same thing and smugly sitting back and going “yeah, how about those apples, using those attacks against me, will you”.

They never fail to sound like abject morons. Whether they are trying to accuse civil rights era stalwarts of racism, feminists of sexism, or gays of the “real hatred against a minority” they demonstrate that not only are they exactly what they have been presumed to be, but that they lack any self-awareness or comprehension to understand their own actions or the actions of their enemies.

That they merely see as out of the tribe and attack with the words they have hears either those given by their masters or hurled back at them by their victims.

It’d be sad if they didn’t so often get to run the fucking country based on this “gut thinking”.

 
 

Kind of a shitty article; the swipe at DeFazio is more than a little gross, and Obama’s falling popularity relative to whom? Plus the whole “Ds would love to do this piecemeal to embarrass Rs” smacks of lazy conventional wisdom bullshittery. But Landrieu can still kiss my ass.

 
 

His voice rising to a near shriek, he added: “We have the economy that tax cuts give us. And it’s pretty pathetic, isn’t it? The president is in a box.”

You’re saying that’s not straight up reporting, tigris?

How shrill!
~

 
 

Whew.

So against my better judgment I went ahore onto the Bozell column cited at the end. The one cited as the “good form” Newsbusters article. And…it wasn’t nearly as bad as I was expecting. I mean it was called “The ‘Good News’ About Gay Teens”. With an opening like that, I was pretty much expecting the shit we got when conservatives went all in against anti-bullying bills and the “It Gets Better” by actively cheering the deaths of gay teens. And we didn’t get that.

Oh, he is still whining about anti-bullying legislation and the idea that gay people can be shown in any humanizing light whatsoever, but at least he doesn’t openly cheer the deaths of kids. Already, that puts Bozell in the Top 5% for morality in the conservative community.

Of course, there are still mangos for everyone.

In their Gay Teen Timeline, we hear the gay actors proclaiming the lack of opposition. “We never received a negative word,” says the gay actor on ABC’s 1994 bomb “My So-Called Life.” The gay teen on ABC’s “Ugly Betty” insisted “99 percent of the public response was positive.” Translation: get in line.

Yup.

That’s right.

If they’re losing so badly that they can’t even get a decent number of angry retirees to write in to ABC whining about these shows these days and their fags, then that obviously just means that they are being shut out.

It couldn’t be that their message of hate is losing so terribly that they aren’t even annoying the interns who have to wade through the mail slush anymore, no it must be some cast conspiracy.

I love though how he really doesn’t know where to go with that and leaves it vague. Who is the “they” who is saying “get in line”. ABC? For noting that even the average psychotic that sends letters to broadcast companies isn’t in support of the homophobes? The Post Office? For hiding the mass of letters from the moral majority from the shows? The gays themselves? Who have so mastered their shocktrooper powers to scare good wholesome Christians that now they aren’t just afraid to go outside, but afraid to send pointless letters to try and demonstrate they still exist on this planet.

And exactly how is their dark will supposed to work? This “get in line” is what exactly? What is now merely noting that these people have even lost the false importance of being “the majority” now oppression in and of itself. Should we say, 99% of people aren’t raging lunatics, but I’m sure that 1% is really more powerful than that and should be given free blowjobs, but not from men, because that would be gay?

Exactly where is he going with that?

Well, I know the real place he’s going with that is “be scared, give money to professional homophobes like me so I can ride the gravy train a few more years”, but by the argument itself…

 
 

But Landrieu can still kiss my ass.

She is SUCH a butthole. What kind of asshole lets a fucking oil company destroy the coastline of her state, taking all kinds of jobs and recreational/tourism income with it and STILL won’t submit to making them pay a little bit of tax on the record profits they have consistently earned?

No, she can’t kiss your ass. She can kiss sweaty angry Jonah Goldberg ass.

 
 

Apparently, someone told the copy editor that “Eats Shoots and Leaves” joke, and he was all like HELLZ YEAH WOLVERINES!!!!!!111!1!1!1!1!!!one

 
 

What kind of asshole lets a fucking oil company destroy the coastline of her state, taking all kinds of jobs and recreational/tourism income with it and STILL won’t submit to making them pay a little bit of tax on the record profits they have consistently earned?

Worse yet, she pretends oil companies are being singled out by any attempt to lessen their privileges, as if art supply stores got government subsidies or car washes got special leases on government land. I wonder if bbkf’s toxic-boweled coworker is available…

 
 

wonder if bbkf’s toxic-boweled coworker is available…

indeed she is…and i didn’t even tell you that the toxic bowel odors also are evident when she is speaking…which she does a lot of…at close range…she could def do some damage wherever we need her…

 
 

Slashed, spritzed and slathered

Worst prominent New York law firm EVAH.

 
 

I’ll assume no one saw the meteor. I was hopeful for a minute there, but it doesn’t seem to have hit anything.

 
 

Did I tell y’all that when Iris and I first came to Diriamba looking for a house we stayed at a small hotel, the Diriajen (after the local cacique), where in the little lobby a wake was in progress? We spent the first part of the evening introducing ourselves to strangers, and the second part drinking rum shots and beer with our new mourning friends. At around three a.m. the smell of the corpse became so intolerable we left the hotel and walked around the neighborhood in the pitch black dark just to kill time until the coffin was moved to the chapel, a little after sunup. Iris thought it was a bad omen. I was convinced that Diriamba was going to be our new home.

 
 

TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS

 
 

LMAO, bbkf.

I’m thinking of that “orange underground” commercial where the one dood goes into the neat freak’s cubicle and smears some Cheetoh dust all over stuff. As the neat freak is coming back to his cubicle, he’s talking on his cell to someone and saying “that kind of smell should not come out of a human being…”

 
esteev, from his computer
 

DYSLEXIA FOR CURE FOUND!

 
Kate is bored again..
 

“that rapists have the right to father babies by the women of their choice.”

I am so using that without permission and probably though, will refer to Sadly No! because association with anything radical and left is of course the shitz.

I’m a conservative-hating woman too, hating all conservatives equally, no matter gender, size, ethnicity, sexual orientation.

 
 

HEAVY RAINS; DIKES THREATENED

Right away they go for a minority.

 
 

[…] Article FROM http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/35665.html Sponsor- Bible Island at BibleIslands.com is your home for Kids Bible Stories told through the […]

 
Kate is bored again..
 

:Some Democrats Are Balking at Obama’s Jobs Bill:

thanks tsaum, I guess as if things weren’t bad enough and I didn’t already know.

I heard that Krugman, when asked by Colbert, if we’re close to a Depression, he said, “Yes” and when Colbert then inquired if we should then start making Shirley Temple movies, he responded that we already have that; “The Ipad”

I’d qualify that further by saying “The internet”

The revolution will never come, we’ll just talk about it endlessly while Rome burns.

 
 

Cheetos “Neat Freak” ad (second in queue).

My bad…the line is, “that’s NOT a smell that comes out of a person…”

 
 

It should definitely be “Conservative-woman-hating”, but who’s counting?

 
 

Feminists, well, one, at least, not only make me make my own toast, they criticize my toast-making ability.

This is indicative of the general situation, although, for now, I still have a job.

 
TSAM IN ALL CAPS CUZ RECUHNIZE MUHFUCKAHS
 

DOG BITES HAM

 
 

It is 4:56 A.M.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR HAM IS???
~

 
 

Over at Newsbusters, disagreeing with a conservative is hate; suggesting that gays shouldn’t even appear on TV unless they are portrayed as dismal, dispirited, suicidal homos who can only save themselves by finding religion and the opposite sex is, of course, an act of love.

That must mean they want to have sex with all the prisoners they cheered for getting fried and an orgy with the millions of undocumented workers they want shot on sight.

 
 

“Conservative-Woman-Hating Tina Brown”

Not an editor, but to me that reads “Tina Brown, who is a woman, a conservative, and hating…”

Jamaica Kincaid might concur.

 
 

Slashed, spritzed and slathered

Worst prominent New York law firm EVAH.

But boy do they get results!

 
Bozo the Cocksucker
 

The 40 Year-Old Virgin

 
 

esteev, from his computer said,

September 15, 2011 at 6:19

Even Wealthy Selling Their Hoes

Is that sentense missing a ‘m’, or is this some slang term I’m not familiar?

 
 

“Is that sentense missing a ‘m’, or is this some slang term I’m not familiar?”

I just assumed they were selling their mistresses.

 
 

I just assumed they were selling their mistresses.

Then they be w/ocubines.

 
 

“nest of gay loving” does sound kinda hot.

 
 

HEADLESS BODY FOUND IN TOPLESS BAR

GIULIANI: HELL TOPAY*

*(think about it)

 
 

From the “hoes” link, here are some really neat bedrooms. I really, really liked most of them, which is rare for me. I’m pretty picky about design-related stuff.

 
 

DYSLEXIA FOR CURE FOUND!

YES, HMMMM? THERE IS NO TRY.

 
 

I know Ken from college, and not in a Dr. Venture/The Monarch way. Let’s just say we were both in the same political organization and the whole “Clinton got a BJ and lied about it thing”…changed him. And no, I don’t remember him talking about any journalism classes…

In closing: Go Terps!

 
 

the whole “Clinton got a BJ and lied about it thing”…changed him.

Jealousy? Repulsion (at BJs in general or at Monica)? Incomprehension?

In closing: Go Terps!

Where do you want the twerps to go to?

 
 

the whole “Clinton got a BJ and lied about it thing”…changed him.

Jealousy? Repulsion (at BJs in general or at Monica)? Incomprehension?

But lying about a war? WOLVERINES!

What is wrong with these people????

 
 

Jealousy? Repulsion (at BJs in general or at Monica)? Incomprehension?

We were part of a group called Maryland Student Legislature, a type of mock congress modeled after the actual State of Maryland. On very rare occasions, a lucky person’s bill would actually be submitted to the real legislature. That being said: he wrote a piece of legislation that would impeach a governor for lying about having sex.

 
 

But let’s give Editor Ken teh benefit of teh doubt and assume he means that Tina Brown hates conservative women. Consider graf 2:

Sounds like a worthwhile venture until you remember that Tina Brown has a very narrow vision of what it means to be an empowered woman, one that discounts political conservatives like Michele Bachmann.

Sounds liek teh braying of a smug and self-righteously bigoted asshole suffering from teh ravages of neurosyphilis when you note that Ken Shepherd’s definition of politically conservative women excludes Condoleezza Rice and Christine Lagarde.

 
 

That being said: he wrote a piece of legislation that would impeach a governor for lying about having sex.

Really?

Holy Jesus Christ…I wonder what’s in his closet?

 
 

I see–so if you don’t consider a mentally incompetent harpy “empowered” then you hate conservative women.

I better write that down. That’s a strange rule.

 
 

I see–so if you don’t consider a mentally incompetent harpy “empowered” then you hate conservative women.

Actually, I consider Michele Bachmann to be about as empowered as a conservative woman would be allowed to be.

 
 

Actually, I consider Michele Bachmann to be about as empowered as a conservative woman would be allowed to be.

You’re right.

She’s as empowered as a loaded AK47 in a daycare.

 
 

FINALLY! A lawyer I’d like to put on retainer!

If you know what I mean. And I think you do.

 
 

She’s as empowered as a loaded AK47 in a daycare.

The joke was too subtle, even for you?

I haz a sad.

 
 

You know what? Dumb and in need of mocking as Ken Shepherd is, I can’t believe I’m defending Tina Brown. And for those wondering what my problem with Tina Brown is, here’s an example.

 
 

And for those wondering what my problem with Tina Brown is, here’s an example.

Come on, D-KW.

You can do better than that!

 
 

I really miss Spy Magazine.

I mean, there’s plenty of snark here, and across the Internet, but I *really* miss Spy Magazine…

 
 

The joke was too subtle, even for you?

No, it was fine. That analogy just popped in my head and I wanted it entered in the record before I forgot it.

 
 

You can do better than that!

That’s what yer mum said. But srsly, I’m okay with her being an incredibly shallow and superficial egomaniac. Well, maybe not okay – but not seriously peeved about it. But that she’s still writing checks made out to Judith fucking Miller, nominally for “journalism”?!?! Fuck.

 
 

That analogy just popped in my head and I wanted it entered in the record before I forgot it.

Oh. My bad.

Carry on, then. AK-47. Classroom. Go on.

 
 

You can do better than that!

That’s what yer mum said.

Mom is usually right.

 
 

I mean, there’s plenty of snark here, and across the Internet, but I *really* miss Spy Magazine…

I hear you buddy, but, like Selwyn missing his toy guns, maybe what you really miss is the carefree early 80’s in the City. Good times.

 
 

[…] it starts off being about grammar, this post at the Sadly, No! blog has a great line about the double-standards employed by conservative news outlets such as […]

 
 

That being said: he wrote a piece of legislation that would impeach a governor for lying about having sex.

so he has always been obsessed w/other people’s sex lives and totally lacking in originality?

 
 

maybe what you really miss is the carefree early 80?s in the City.

What ’80s?

 
 

BTW, Google has every back issue of Spy posted. For free!

I have to find the issue where they quoted me about Tama Janowitz…

 
 

Holy Jesus Christ…I wonder what’s in his closet?

Oh he’s straight, if that’s what you’re asking. I’ll put it this way: if politics was Marvel Comics, he’d be a Harry Osborn as opposed to a Norman Osborn.

 
 

Oh he’s straight, if that’s what you’re asking.

Let’s just say that was one suspicion, but I meant “closet” in the more general sense: what’s he hiding?

 
 

but I meant “closet” in the more general sense: what’s he hiding?

prolly just the basics…you know, wetsuits, dildoes and dead hookers…

 
 

prolly just the basics…you know, wetsuits, dildoes and dead hookers…

I figured the hookers would be over the mantlepiece.

 
 

Best thing about Spy: their description of Donald Trump. “Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump…”

 
 

prolly just the basics…you know, wetsuits, dildoes and dead hookers…

If that’s the case, he’s hidden them well. I just think he overdosed on True Believer Serum (again, ala Harry Osborn) and never bothered to go through withdrawal.

I figured the hookers would be over the mantlepiece.

So that’s where they’re supposed to go! (*headslap*)

 
 

Best thing about Spy: their description of Donald Trump. “Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump…”

I dunno…”The History of Hair” was hilarious

ex: For Drexel’s Mike Milken, $40 million a year buys the hardest, shiniest, most stain-resistant scalp in banking today.”

 
 

I figured the hookers would be over the mantlepiece.

So that’s where they’re supposed to go! (*headslap*)

You didn’t get the memo after Cheney shot Whittington?

 
 

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I stupidly drifted into the comments section of an article about the Medal of Honor recipient Dakota Meyer wanting to have a beer with the Prez. You might think that a story about this young man, who also requested that his dead comrades be honored on the same day he is awarded the medal, would draw comment from the Obama haters. Sadly, Yes. However, I was unprepared for the commenters who were critical of Cpl. Meyer…for wanting to have a beer with the president. I was so angry and depressed, I immediately knew I needed something to cheer me up. This comment thread soon had me laughing out loud!!1!!! Keep up the good work!

Also, I teach English grammar, among other subjects, to first year college students in China. I’d be tempted to have them read this thread, except I already spend to much class time trying to explain the crazy ass shit that goes down in America. Peace and Love. boc

 
 

However, I was unprepared for the commenters who were critical of Cpl. Meyer…for wanting to have a beer with the president.

Couldn’t someone simply have pointed out that it may have been an order from the CinC, and so shut up, you traitorous tools?

 
 

I already spend to much class time

Looks like you’re letting the chinese students teach you grammar. It’s OK, drop by any time. Bring food pron.

 
 

I already spend to much class time

you do indeed sound pretty classy…

 
 

Couldn’t someone simply have pointed out that it may have been an order from the CinC, and so shut up, you traitorous tools?

Cpl. Meyer asked to have a beer with the president. So, obviously and despite the fact that he risked his life against orders to save three dozen fellow soldiers, Meyer must be a traitor. Also, any medal handed out by the Usurper-in-Chief cannot be valid. Why does Cpl. Meyer hate America so?

 
 

Cpl. Meyer asked to have a beer with the president.

I figured that, but I also figure the wingnut dislogic would not allow for that to penetrate the overly calloused skull, so if someone made up some shit a believable story, they’d substitute.

 
 

I think it’s obvious which option I’d’ve gone with.

Also, Bozell looks totally hella baked up there.

here’s an example.

There, there – I see no inherent need to defend one dickhead whilst snarking on another one. Got one thing right, though – Condoleeza “Ask Me Why My Breath Smells Like ExxonMobil’s Taint” Rice definitely IS a storyteller … no doubt her “surely noone could have foreseen” fairytale from late 2001 will bring laughter & delight to children of all ages for years to come!

 
 

Oopsie. You wrote, “Now while we might all agree that many conservatives, particular those of the persuasion that….”

As this article is about typos please change it to either “in particular” or “particularly”.

Then pay me to proofread….

 
 

Stay classy, FOX News

You would think that mentioning that (1) this is a possible future storyline, aka, not necessarily canon and (2) HE’S A FUCKING FICTIONAL CHARACTER would sink in with these yahoos.

You would think.

 
 

What I found really obnoxious was the implication (I get the wedding allegory) that they were going to try to drum up a reaction. They have to manufacture *more* outrage?

 
 

I remember those Spy covers all the way back to the first issue I bought (Dec 86). I have to see if I remember which one was the last. Hm, looks to be May 92.

 
 

You would think.

Apparently not, if I paid any attention to Fox News.

 
 

I mean, there’s plenty of snark here, and across the Internet, but I *really* miss Spy Magazine…

Seconded (and thirded, etc.).
~

 
 

You would think.

Never miss an opportunity to 1) demonize others, 2) complain that they’re the real victims, and 3) SKREE!

That’s FAUX Nooze.
~

 
 

Ha! Cerberus, you made my day!

“Yeah, how about those apples….” I have not heard that phrase since my Grannie passed in the 60s. If some driver cut off my father she would holler, “Get out of the way, you horse-apple!” In polite company she would shorten it to “You apple!”

This site has the best comments ever.

 
 

Spy Magazine is available online, gratis, but not printable.

http://books.google.com/books/serial/ISSN:08901759?rview=1&rview=1

 
 

Over at Newsbusters, disagreeing with a conservative is hate; suggesting that gays shouldn’t even appear on TV unless they are portrayed as dismal, dispirited, suicidal homos who can only save themselves by finding religion and the opposite sex is, of course, an act of love.

Blowjobs in the men’s room are of course an act that never happens.

 
 

““I think whatever boost in sales might come from the novelty or curiosity factors will be more than offset by the number of both kids and parents who will be turned off by this storyline and its obvious social and political agenda,” he said.”

So acknowledging that gays exist is furthering a political agenda.

 
 

OH NOEZ JUGHEAD WILL BE PLOOKING ARCHIE!!!!!!

“I think whatever boost in sales might come from the novelty or curiosity factors will be more than offset by the number of both kids and parents who will be turned off by this storyline and its obvious social and political agenda,”

Gays marrying in a comicbook? Political – & probably also CLASS WARFARE (but will need MUCH moar AEI grant-money before I can clarify this angle). Denying gays marriage, even long after the public majority turns against such a gratuitously cruel perpetuation of rank injustice? Apolitical because PAT BOONE JESUS 9/11 REAGAN BASEBALL!

 
 

When can we start snarking on snobilly snookie?
.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

PAT BOONE JESUS 9/11 REAGAN BASEBALL!

You left out Mom, apple pie and teh FLAG. Why do you hate America?

 
 

You would think that mentioning that […] HE’S A FUCKING FICTIONAL CHARACTER would sink in with these yahoos.

From my experience, no.

 
 

When can we start snarking on snobilly snookie?

i’ll be polite…you go first…

 
 

the number of both kids and parents who will be turned off by this storyline and its obvious social and political agenda,”

so, archie marrying both veronica and betty (even tho it was in his *dreams*) is an okay storyline? and that archie has not been able to decide for the last 50 years whether to choose unbelievable wealth with veronica or hot sexx with betty is okay as well? and what about jughead’s sloth? and reggie’s evilness? all these are okay?

 
 

unbelievable wealth with veronica or hot sexx with betty

Betty is the NICE one.

 
 

Betty is the NICE one.

oh…is that what they’re calling it nowadays?

 
 

OH NOEZ JUGHEAD WILL BE PLOOKING ARCHIE!!!!!!

Again?

 
 

and that archie has not been able to decide for the last 50 years whether to choose unbelievable wealth with veronica or hot sexx with betty is okay as well?

Totally take the money. Betty will follow.

Betty is the NICE one.

Which means she has a drawer full of butt plugs

 
Food pron obsessed Emperor of Portland Pupienus Maximus
 
 

Archie Comics, the extremely conservative publisher that has been behind the times on every single bandwagon they try to climb on, including ham radio, cup-stacking, and malt shops, thinks gay marriage is no big deal.

Fox is actually more backwards than Archie Comics. That’s fairly amazing to me.

 
 

OT, but OMG…my lunch today was oh, so wrong; but oh, so right…i started off with two ziggy burgers (a local thing–like a barbecue or sloppy joe but even better–i call it *heaven on a bun*) and chips at the ambulance service’s fundraiser lunch…then i got into the ciao bella chocolate hazelnut gelato…i am in hog heaven at the mo…

 
 

ABOVE: Ken Shepherd, Managing Editor, Newsbusters (left)

You mean “center,” don’t you? Or is he the duck?

 
 

so, archie marrying both veronica and betty (even tho it was in his *dreams*) is an okay storyline? and that archie has not been able to decide for the last 50 years whether to choose unbelievable wealth with veronica or hot sexx with betty is okay as well? and what about jughead’s sloth? and reggie’s evilness? all these are okay?

Yes, because being gay is like a thousand Hitlers. Having gay sex. With each other.

 
 

Lamb burgers at Vera’s are swell.

I didn’t eat lunch today. Cruel.

What do you get on yours?

 
 

Reggie was the one fooling around with Richie Rich, right?

 
 

Lamb burgers at Vera’s are swell.

well, that tears it! i am just going to have to go to canada! those look amazing…also, too…anyplace that has the slogan ‘you can’t be X’s meat’ is a place at which i plan on spending money…

 
 

Yes, because being gay is like a thousand Hitlers. Having gay sex. With each other.

well done, you! a godwin AND a rule 34!

 
 

Yes, because being gay is like a thousand Hitlers.

The lovely daughter just informed me that her favourite character in Looney Tunes is HITLER.

 
 

What do you get on yours?

I usually just get the standard lamb burger – comes with the usual toppings – and add mushrooms. The meat is really really good.

 
 

The lovely daughter just informed me that her favourite character in Looney Tunes is HITLER.

Well, I read that mid-water-swallow and you’re lucky you don’t owe me a new keyboard.

 
 

anyplace that has the slogan ‘you can’t be X’s meat’ is a place at which i plan on spending money…

You can’t beat Actor’s meat!

*mostly because of the candida infection, but not to worry, a little Lambisil will clear that right up!

 
 

FYWP ate my Reggie/Richie Rich slash comment.

 
 

FYWP ate my Reggie/Richie Rich slash comment.

How terrible for us all.

 
 

FYWP ate my Reggie/Richie Rich slash comment.

I dunno, man, they both look like bottoms to me.

 
 

How terrible for us all.

Grieve. Rend your garments.

 
 

“When can we start snarking on snobilly snookie?”

I wonder about her whole family.

 
 

Rend your garments.

*getting the liquified fat*

 
 

The lovely daughter just informed me that her favourite character in Looney Tunes is HITLER.

haha…that’s pretty funny! *new odor* and *pu*

 
 

Rend your garments.

Rent in Twain Harte.

 
 

“haha…that’s pretty funny! *new odor* and *pu*”

Right? Best thing I read on the inerbrutes today.

 
 

Right? Best thing I read on the inerbrutes today.

plus, we’re like…12?

 
 

Hey, Ladies! Your funbags are a moral threat to society!

Please threaten us. Go on! I dare ya!

 
 

“Right? Best thing I read on the inerbrutes today.

plus, we’re like…12?”

All you have to do is read my latest blog entry to know I am even younger.

 
 

The LD’s current favourite song.

Longer version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwN9PFygKTc

She informs me that Neapolitan is a dialect of Italian but she can’t fool me.

 
 

Hey, Ladies! Your funbags are a moral threat to society!

I think this law is an outrageous afront to all women. To be fair, the law should be changed so that anyone, male or female, with cleavage must cover up.

 
 

I think this law is an outrageous afront to all women.

I’m all over the afronts of women.

 
 

The lovely daughter just informed me that her favourite character in Looney Tunes is HITLER.

Not the gremlins?!!

Husband’s response to video was to complain about Ochi Chornye.

 
 

haha…that’s pretty funny! *new odor* and *pu*

The “I’m only three and a half years old” gremlin hammering the dials made me think of Gohmert’s latest act of incredible assholishness.

Well, that and every other thing the Republicans have done in the last fifteen years.

 
 

Related OT story: here in Ontario, teh baring of breasts has been legal for fifteen years. Last month, teh local LEAFS SUCK gubmint nixed a permit for a National Go Topless Day event at a public park. This resulted in a protest march of topless women and men in bras and bikini tops that, in true passive-aggressive Canuckistani style, circumnavigated teh park (well three sides, the fourth edge is teh lake) without ever stepping foot in it.

 
 

teh baring of breasts has been legal for fifteen years

So your mom was breaking the law for 75 years?????

 
 

here in Ontario, teh baring of breasts has been legal for fifteen years.

Unfortunately, other than during the four days of the year that Canadians call “summer”, it is too cold to do so.

 
 

Not sure if this qualifies as foodPr0n, but I just had a great sammich at Cheba Hut . It was great, but for some reason I’m still really hungry

 
 

Let’s try that again: Cheba Hut

 
 

I’m still really hungry

That link didn’t work. I am left unsatisfied.

Wait.. You’re a troll genius.

 
 

I’m still really hungry

try some brownies…

 
 

For the record, Veronica is way hotter than Betty, but Betty makes up for it by not being evil. Also, I’d take Cheryl Blossom over either of them any day.

 
 

You’re all just now getting around to Teh Ghey in Archie? I covered that like…ages ago.

 
 

Potential pr0n:

On a whim, I picked up some ground turkey at the store. I have a hankering for meatballs so I thought I’d throw some Garam Masala in with the usual meatballesque ingredients and then simmer them in a tomato-ginger sauce, with maybe some tumeric, cardamom, and other warm spices.

Any way you’d change/improve? Or should I not make meatballs tonight? I’m totally in the mood to be ordered around, food-wise.

 
 

You’re all just now getting around to Teh Ghey in Archie? I covered that like…ages ago.

Jennifer, some of us visit around ten different sites–oddly NONE of them offering Betty Boop hentai–and NEVER VENTURE BEYOND. The Internet is a scary place!!!!!

 
 

I’m totally in the mood to be ordered around, food-wise.

Bring me a cheeseburger, bitch! And a beer!

 
 

Oh, also, I’d use fresh ginger (OF COURSE!). And top everything with green onions. It’s actually a variation on this one pasta sauce–yes, with ginger–I used to make A LOT.

 
 

Bring me a cheeseburger, bitch! And a beer!

Try again.

 
 

I’m still really hungry

try some brownies…

Like Cheba isn’t going to give you the munchies the way Thai sticks do…

 
 

Baby has had an awesome day of smiles and contentment and 2 naps…CAN YA TELL?!!!!!!

 
 

Bring me a cheeseburger, bitch! And a beer!

Try again.

NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 

For the record, Veronica is way hotter than Betty, but Betty makes up for it by not being evil. Also, I’d take Cheryl Blossom over either of them any day.

Don’t you mean Cherry Poptart?

 
 

Ya know… the one time Mr. Bossypants Food pr0n Emperor guy should be around…

 
 

vacuumslayer said,

September 15, 2011 at 22:24

Bring me a cheeseburger, bitch! And a beer!

Try again.

sudo make me a sandwich

 
 

sudo apt get sammich

 
 

Oh, tsam, you have great taste.

 
 

sudo make me a sandwich

I don’t get it.

 
 

I don’t get it.

Uneed to study Unix

 
 

Uneed to ushutup.

uWHAT?

 
 

sudo

omg…let me google that for you is HIlarious! i am still giggling…possibly because i am overtired and stressed to the max…either way, thanks for making the dork in me crack up…

 
 

Uneed to ushutup.

this…also giggling…i still have job #2* to get through this evening…do. not. think. i. will. make. it…

*not a vpoopr

 
 

Uneed to ushutup.

uWHAT?

uBet

 
Food pron obsessed Emperor of Portland Pupienus Maximus
 

Add some curry powder along with the ginger. Make a meat loaf* and paint it with chutney. Sprinkle some slivered almonds on top and bake that puppy.

*VoxymoronicMR

 
 

vs-

So acknowledging that gays exist is furthering a political agenda.

Way late to this one, but wanted to answer it anyways.

But yep. It’s a handy trick the right uses. They freak out about whole groups of people and anything they do.

Now, any attempt to talk about said group of people who exist and the problems that face them is now “political” or “controversial” and so must be excised from discussion because of the “strong feelings on both sides”.

Thus you get a lot of media leaving off said groups of people because it’s not worth losing the messages one actually wants to talk about in a work with side “controversies”. And thus the conservatives get what they want, a media reality filled with middle class straight white men and middle class straight white male stories with middle class straight white male casts.

Unless someone wants to get “controversial” and acknowledge that anyone other than white men exists at which point the conservatives howl like monkeys and get really angry that said author “made such a deliberately provocative attempt to set a political agenda” and tsk tsk over how this must demonstrate that the work doesn’t care about the hordes of potential lost fans hoping this continues to cow other works off treading on “controversial” topics.

This is also used a lot about politics. Since the humanity of women or blacks is “unresolved”, it becomes a “tricky problem” to which there’s “no right answer” and can only be debated in “he said/she said” format where both sides are made to look equal and where it’s encouraged to think the “real answer is somewhere in the middle”.

For the many of us whose very lives are designated “political” this is so incredibly frustrating it’s not even funny.

So PENIS.

 
 

Now fucking Google is on my arse! “Was that so hard?” Up yer clunge, Google

 
 

Speaking of turning whole groups into monolithic cartoon bad guys, the FBI is on the case, and not in a good way.

I have no snark for this.

 
 

re: FOX and their hatred of ghey Riverdalians

Teh thing that gets me is teh Family Research Council quote. I mean WTF? A designated Hate Group? SRSLY? What teh hell do they have to do with Archie comics?

I understand teh reflexive need to find someone from teh “other side” so that you can be “balanced” but,,, wait – I don’t understand it FUCKING AT ALL. What about having teh ACLU provide a quote to balance out FRC’s First Amendment trampling, free-speech hating, censorship loving jerkwadery? Those assholes have nothing to do with Riverdale or gay marriage or anything besides the fact that they are a fucking DESIGNATED HATE GROUP. And it’s not just FOX News that pulls this type of bullshit either.

IOW, what Dan Savage said.

 
 

…to much >>> too much… That’s a spelling error, not bad grammar. Sheesh…tough crowd!

Yes! The food in China is awesome. I’ve never had a bad meal. Although, the time my friends had me try the dogmeat at the Korean restaurant it was only average. Thank goodness actually…What if dog was more tasty than pig or cow? I don’t really need to add another meat product to my diet.

 
 

Also too, just a reminder, that Dan was being interviewed because of itgetsbetter – something that needed to be done to address teh harrowing conditions LGBT teens go through – teh bullying and hate they face every day that drives them to suicide.

There is a very real cost in letting fucking hateful bigoted asswipes like Peter Sprigg have a platform.

 
 

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