Quite.

Good luck trying to hammer down these paranoid theories – you’re going to need a strong arm and a big mallet. There are so many loons waving so many photos they’re starting to look like some demented game of whack-a-mole.

So, wait, the Body Shop sells corpses in Lebanon? They should probably just stick to, like, lip-gloss an shit.

Also suspicious: all those men helping out in the photo just happened to be wearing gloves and dust masks then they came upon the ruined building? The man in the foreground was just wandering around with a shovel? Please. I smell a rat.

MMMMmmmmm, Burgers….

mikey

You don’t fry things on a grill, you know. Oh, crap, I shouldn’t have said that… Gavin, he’s got you now! Fly! Fly like the wind!

But I’ve only just now started to come down from the high of reading Peretz’ loyal commenters telling him to take his crazed blithering and piss off. Wait up, guys!

Check the kerning on that burger, there’s too much smoke and it’s too dark!

But you know what CY missed? Why are the Israelis attacking already destroyed buildings?!! SUPAFAKE!!

Whats the standard of proof? actually watching someone getting get blown to bits is the only way the winguts will say “well that’d gotta hurt”?

Fucking idiots. The whole lot of them.

Did that bombing happen before or AFTER Slick Willie went stumping for Connecticut Joe? That sumbitch has been causing all sorts of trouble of late. I’ve been racking my pea-sized brain for an hour now, chewing on what tigrusmus said and … I got nuthin’. Nada. Zilch.

The burger looks very good, yessiree.

Purveyors of lip gloss and lotions and grillers of burgers are objectively pro-terror too.

It must be nice, in a way, to be so completely stupid. I mean, you’d be able to vote Republican with no reservations, but also enjoy “According to Jim” as well. Life must be good.

Is Confederate Yankee’s real name Charlie Gordon?

That’s actually quite impressive. I didn’t think it was possible to be dumber than Jonah Goldberg.

Lebanese civil defense rescuers, try to remove two blanket-wrapped bodies, found trapped under debris and concrete of the destroyed buildings, attacked late Monday by Israeli airstrike, in the southern Beirut suburb of Chiah, Lebanon, Tuesday Aug. 8, 2006.

To be fair, that is one tortured-ass sentence: the multi-layered adjective participles and the funky commas make my brain hurt.

However, most people would read that, realize that the sentence is poorly written, and surmise that
1) the bodies were found and then wrapped in blankets
2) the bodies themselves were not attacked by an airstrike
3) the building was attacked and then destroyed
4) the Lebonese are not trying to rescue civil defense

It’s telling perhaps, that CY looks at that sentence and says, “Aha! Proof of conspiracy!” I look at it and say, “Aha! Proof that some children was indeed left behind!”

And this takes place in Chiah? Will no one think of the pets?

You don’t fry things on a grill, you know.

You do if it’s a flat grill.

/just sayin’

Man, the next couple of months before the elections are going to be especially entertaining. Guys like CY will be so incoherent that their families may institutionalize them.

Soon their posts will lack any articles of speech and consist entirely of mispelled RW codewords.

The fact of the matter is that a lot of what is coming out of Lebanon is a bunch of Hizb’allah propaganda.

Gotta say though, that caption is piss poor writing. Not that I’m a style guide or anything, but there are six commas in the first sentence. One of them is obviously misplaced and four of them are entirely unnecessary. Captions and headlines are supposed to be idiot proof. Now we see why.

The wind doesn’t actually fly, either, as it doesn’t have wings. My pedant pants are pedantisher than yours, GoatBoy, so neener.

I’m calling this Gavin’s Law: “Confederate Yankee is dumber than you think, even allowing for Gavin’s Law”.

The fact of the matter is that a lot of what is coming out of Lebanon is a bunch of Hizb’allah propaganda.

This is very true. The insane level of death and destruction being visited on regular civilians in Lebanon by the Israeli war machine certainly functions as a marvelous recruiting/fundraising tool for Hezbollah. If Olmert had sat down and tried to figure out a course of action that would most benefit Hezbollah and Hamas while simultaneously wrecking any chance that Israel could ever live in peace with her neighbors, exactly what they are doing would be the most effective approach. Much like the Ham Handed American occupation of Iraq, the continuing Israeli atrocities against the general population of the middle east, many of whom were or could have been Israeli supporters has generated so much anger, hatred and hostility that there really is no way back from here…

mikey

The fact of the matter

Until Gary signs up for remedial logic classes and completes Unit 1 (facts vs. claims) he really needs to avoid using that phrase.

There is an alternate explanation for the bodies potentially being pre-wrapped, and that is that they were victims from a previous bombing, and were wrapped for burial when the second bombs found them.

Or, you know, maybe Hezbollah just wraps up everyone, living or dead, in blankets as a precaution in case they need a good photo-op.

couldn’t people hiding in buildings, also be cold, and actually wrap themselves in a blanket? ya know, for warmth. and then, couldn’t they then be killed when bombs drop on the building?

I mean, CY isn’t suggesting that either (1) wrapping oneself in a blanket protects one from bombs, thus any body found in a blanket must-ve been covered in said blanket after death, or (2) that bombs dropping on people destroy every shred of a blanket that said people may have been wrapped in?

is it crazy pill time already?

Here’s the only real photo from Lebanon.

Might a blanket not provide improvised filtering for A FUCKLOAD OF AIRBORNE DEBRIS?

Conspiranoid!

I’m calling this Gavin’s Law: “Confederate Yankee is dumber than you think, even allowing for Gavin’s Law�.

first burgers, now Gavin Slaw … man I’m hungry.

first burgers, now Gavin Slaw … man I’m hungry.

That’s not mayonnaise.

GoatBoy, there is no way Michelle’s brain could generate that much smoke. It’s mostly bad paella with some white rice mixed in.

I also think most of these so-called pictures are screen captures from Sid Meier’s End of Civilization game.

I got a question. Why the fuck aren’t they cheering? I thought these guys were fans of disproportionate response? Now all the sudden they’ve got to hedge? What gives?

Oh, sorry, that’s four questions. Clearly I am an unserious liberal.

Brando,

It’s HotAir.

But Kathleen, the caption doesn’t say that the bodies were already wrapped in blankets.

It’s like a photo of a bunch of guys carrying a coffin, and the caption reads, “A bunch of guys carry a dead guy in a coffin” — and C. Yankee is like, “How totally unbelievable that this one dude just randomly happened to be in a coffin…and then died.”

That is an atrociously written sentence. Maybe CY is a literalist, unable to interpret the obvious intent of the writer. Or maybe he’s just dumb as a box of hammers.

Well, he’s also using photo captions as evidence that the media is making false claims about Lebanese deaths.

But then, who wrote the photo captions and why are they prima facie accurate?

It’s a lot of different flavors of head-poundingly obtuse, all swirled together.

This guy calls himself “Confederate Yankee”, right? So, from that, I deduce he’s a Northerner who sympathizes with either the original Confederate States and/or the whole neo-Confederate movement. Now, I don’t know, of course, but being born and raised (and currently still) a Southerner, “Confederate” calls up a pretty clear mental image, and it ain’t a good one. Is this dude aware of this? How does he explain it?

who wrote the photo captions

and what did the original caption look like before it was photo-shopped?

Get Malkin on this STAT.

The fact of the matter is that a lot of what is coming out of Lebanon is a bunch of Hizb’allah propaganda.

Y’all need to stop ripping on Gary. I’ve been scanning his comments for weeks, waiting for him to tell me what the fact of the matter is. I was going through withdrawal.

Shorter Right Wing Blogosphere:

One photo from Lebanon showed evidence of Photoshopping in a way which does not alter the basic impact of the photo; so every photo must be Photoshopped in a way which supports whichever argument we are espousing today.

It’s a lot of different flavors of head-poundingly obtuse, all swirled together.

No. It’s just lying. Lying, lying, lying. Confederate Yankee’s a liar. We know it, he knows it, everyone knows it.

It’s the kind of lying that amazed Tucker Carlson (…!!) when he discovered how dishonest Karen Hughes was. She knew he knew she was lying, and she didn’t much care.

Integrity’s not all that prized in America these days. To paraphrase Morris Berman, America is a nation on the make.

Mel.

(What’s up with the Jew thing? I can’t be the only one still havin’ a hard time acting like that one didn’t happen.)

I forgot to say, however, that CY is not, in fact, dumber than I thought. He is, rather, exactly as dumb as I thought he was.

No. It’s just lying. Lying, lying, lying. Confederate Yankee’s a liar. We know it, he knows it, everyone knows it.

Dogs know it.

What’s up with the Jew thing? I can’t be the only one still havin’ a hard time acting like that one didn’t happen.

You and me both. I’m a rabid anti-semite, don’t you know. I’ve been told that so many times in the last few weeks, I’ve decided to believe it.

Actually, truth be told…I’m a French-Canadian whose family has been in North America since 1617. We’re among the few people who can’t be condemned for the European slave trade or European anti-semitic genocides. The only people who can make us feel guilty are First Nations.

Happy, Captain America?

CY is most likely just another NY “touron” who helped to ruin the beach for the rest of us.

Dogs know it.

Birds know it. Bees know it. Even educated fleas know it.

I worked on a griddle (a big flat grill)

But we all called it a grill anyway.
e

Can you hear his fingernails scratching at the edge?

“Happy, Captain America?”

Honestly? No. I thank you sincerely for the reply in spite of its decidedly shitty tone.

I don’t know if “michael” from CY’s comment board came from S,N! or not but his comment bears repeating:

My understanding is that Hezbolleh has a special corpse-launching mortar stationed at a central location in each major city in Lebanon. Whenever an Israeli rocket lands, Hezbolleh launches a couple of prepared bodies in a high arc over the city to the recently-hit building. The bodies land, and the force of the impact creates “wounds” consistent with being at ground zero when a missile lands.

I mean, it’s the only reasonable possibility.

If this had been a doctored photo that was done by the “other side” of the political spectrum, you’d be circle jerking with the robots at DailyKOS, or the any number of other blogs aligned with your political tastes about state controlled media, conspiracy, and on and on….claiming all sorts of things about journalistic integrity and so forth….but no….you betray your intellectual dishonesty..as all liberals eventually do…

try again…

Whats the standard of proof? actually watching someone getting get blown to bits is the only way the winguts will say “well that’d gotta hurt�?

No, these guys would tell you that Islamocommiejahadeenists have had all their pain neurons removed, just to confuse the librul media (and to spite the wingnuts, who touch themselves whenever they think about other people’s pain). Also “proof”, like “facts”, has a well-known librul bias. Otherwise we would appreciate that the pain Gary R. feels when we mock his badly-constructed arguments is far, far greater than the pain some raghead infant could ever feel while being blown to smithereens. It’s like their argument that Dubya deserved a Purple Heart for not showing up to finish his TANG stint, but Cleland didn’t deserve a Purple Heart for loosing three limbs. Shorter wingnut: If it ain’t us, it don’t count.

I don’t know, Gavin. I remember seeing CY a couple years ago wander into Pandagon and get his ass sliced, diced and handed back to him by Jesse Taylor (and man, do I miss Jesse’s writing), and though the issue of the time escapes me, I clearly remember thinking at the time, “GuhDAMN, that’s one stone-brained stupid motherfucker.” I always expected great things from that boy.

It is indeed a tortured sentence, but describing rescuers trying to remove two blanket-wrapped bodies probably means that
A. The parts of the bodies initially uncovered were so gruesome or undignified they were immediately wrapped in blankets for everyone’s sake.
B. The rest of the now blanket-wrapped bodies are still buried under debris.

To not understand this as a rational explanation means that
A. You have never witnessed such a recovery firsthand
B. You have no imagination
C. You are shit stupid
D. You desperately need these photos to be fake
E. All of the above.

The original caption read:

IDF troops take time out of their school painting mission in Lebanon to act as chaperones for a local Boy Scout camping trip in the southern Beirut suburb of Chiah. The camping trip took place in the city’s “Concrete Desert”, an urban wildlife refuge for local fauna that was established by the IDF earlier this month. (AP Photo/Hussein Malla)

[…] Update: Ah crap, there’s more. […]

Maybe there was a makeshift morgue in there? Something like the six bodies stored in the freezer at the Superdome in New Orleans, or the bodies stored in the chapel in the Memorial Medical Center of New Orleans….

But what do I know, I am a stupid America hating liberal.

If this had been a doctored photo that was done by the “other side� of the political spectrum, you’d be circle jerking with the robots at DailyKOS, or the any number of other blogs aligned with your political tastes about state controlled media, conspiracy, and on and on….claiming all sorts of things about journalistic integrity and so forth….but no….you betray your intellectual dishonesty..as all liberals eventually do…

I do SO love the hypothetical assertion presented as criticism and empirical fact.

f this had been a doctored photo that was done by the “other side� of the political spectrum, you’d be circle jerking with the robots at DailyKOS, or the any number of other blogs aligned with your political tastes about state controlled media, conspiracy, and on and on….claiming all sorts of things about journalistic integrity and so forth….but no….you betray your intellectual dishonesty..as all liberals eventually do…

try again…

Never been here before, eh? We’d be joking about it and making fun of it, like we always do… we probably would say something about the integrity of the photo doctor, you know, like we did about this one… just click back a few links…

try again, cupcake…

On second thought, he needn’t try again. He’s just too humor-deficient.

I’m amused at the idea of using poorly written photo captions to discern conspiracies. If it was a conspiracy perpetrated by the media, you’d think the media would avoid writing captions that revealed their dastardly plot.

What next? TV commercial copy that reveals the conspriacy? Song lyrics played backwards?

I really surprised that nodn actually left a comment here.

You would think that no one would be stupid enough to defend this horseshit.

Oh wait, I forgot who we are talking about.

The hardcore remaining 30% of the country that still loves BushKlan.

Hey, how can he be a Confederate… and a Yankee? Either somebody’s lying, or ignorant, or it’s time for smoke to start coming out of all our ears like robots on Star Trek who’ve just been told 2+2=7.

HEY! If you look real close, “white t-shirt guy” just changed shirts with one of the other guys from last week’s pictures!

Dear CF:

BOX OF ROCKS > YOU.

Sincerely yours,

Mr & Mrs D. F. Short-Plank.

why did I put F when I meant Y

[…] Those who follow Confederate Yankee’s exploits may suspect that this is about to become yet more evidence that all visual images involving the Middle East are faked by the far-left-liberal Muslamonazi MSM. But the apparent proof that Iran’s latest “drone” video is fake may be contained in the footage itself. […]