More Starbursts From National Review
Posted on August 7th, 2011 by HTML Mencken
Shorter Disgraced Media Baron Lord Conrad Black of DoubleCrossharbour
America’s Shittiest Website
“The Coulter-Ingraham Show”
- Ah, Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham. [fapfapfapfapfap] Such classy, leggy, blonde young ladies. [fapfapfapfap] I should very much like to cut them a check, if you know what I mean (and I think you do).
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Fleurist
I should very much like to cut them a check, if you know what I mean (and I think you do).
No, actually in this case I don’t know what he means. Are we talking about fucking? Cannibalism? Two Republicans, one cup? A barely-human centipede? Vivisection? Some form of gene-splicing breeding program that makes Alien Resurrection look like a good idea?
N_B — not gettin’ out of the boat, but he probably means “pay them to let him watch.”
Also, eeeeew.
Is he out of prison? Because I’m thinking only prison could make those two looks attractive.
Ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick. ICK
Mango:
And by “political discourse” I mean my penis. (Captain Hammer would be proud.)
Heh, that happens all the time on these innert00bz, HTML.
At least you didn’t blow it all up, you maniacs!
P.S. Yes, that is my comment on the last post, which was meant for this post. How that happened, I have no idea.
P.P.S. HTML, are you able to email Tintin?
~
Hey! It’s lonely in prison!
Are there people out there who consider this serious news, or do the wingnuts just join in with “Yeah [fapfapfapfapfap]. You’re totally right [fapfapfapfapfap].”
Inevitable “liberals are the real sexists” mango in 3… 2… 1…
(No, seriously, we’re apparently still having a conversation about that – http://www.gatorcountry.com/swampgas/showthread.php?t=172160 )
He could have been describing Eva Braun and Magda Goebbels.
test… Huh, I guess I can do HTML url codes now? It wouldn’t let me a minute ago…
Good news, you passed, aravind.
Bad news, you’re getting sent to Afghanistan.
~
Does anyone still think Coulter and Ingraham are attractive? I was under the impression that even conservatives think they’re a bit too used and leathery to fap at anymore. And I’m not sure anyone ever bought the line about Coulter being Christian…
Gee, I thought Coulter was Ingraham, until a while ago. What cleared things up for me was that Coulter is the one who’s always wearing a black dress and Ingraham isn’t.
As luck would have it, I have a bowl of actual starburst candies on my table. Although they’re kinda old and stale and stick the the wrapper when you peel them, I can safely say they’ve provided me with more pleasure than Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham.
Coulter-Ingraham Show?
Dumb and Dumberer?
What cleared things up for me was that Coulter is the one who’s always wearing a black dress and Ingraham isn’t.
And now I have to go bleach the image of Ingraham out of clothing out of my head…
What they have in common is that they are both attractive, blonde, witty, never-married, heterosexual, practicing Christian
o/~ One of these things is not like the others, which one of these things is not the same? o/~
Coulter. Gosh, that reminds me. My good friend Ty’s momma had a mix chihuahua dachshund that like to hump legs, especially the legs of any female person. This dog caused Ty’s momma a lot of embarrassment. Chichi, the dog, especially like to hump the leg of Ty’s momma’s neighbor, Mrs Wright, who lived one street over and who came to gossip with Ty’s momma about once a week. Mrs Wright had tried just about everything to keep Chichi from humping her leg, including bug spray, butter, shaving cream and some other shit. Oh, I meant to say above that Mrs Wright looked just like Ann Coulter, tall, blonde, kind of bovine features. Anyway, one day Mrs Wright came over for her weekly chat and little Chichi ran up to her as usual, but suddenly stopped, sniffed Mrs Wright’s leg, wimpered, ran back to the couch and jumped into Ty’s momma’s lap. Mrs Wright said, “Ahah, I thought that would work!” Ty’s momma asked her what she had used to keep Chichi off her leg, and Mrs Wright replied, “Nothing.”
Yeah, Ann Coulter is a “practicing Christian” who muses openly about how the only mistake Tim McVeigh made was blowing up the wrong people just like Jesus would have done!.
W/ enough practice she may get it right.
Well, you go ahead and hugely enliven political discourse your way. She’ll do it hers.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
That is all.
Wingnut Freakout Alert:
Discovery Channel is running a program called “Curiosity.”
First show? Stephen Hawking answering the question: “Did god create the universe?”
*Hint: He said, “Nuh-uh.”
I left my last comment to steer a multi-parsec path around and away from things that make people go “EEEWWWWWW.”
Oh yeah, that Anne Coulter is a long cool drink of water… tainted with fracking fluid.
I’d pay to watch them duel to the death – with rusty butter knives.
Shorter Glenn Reynolds:
“Democrats are hypocrites because they want to raise taxes on all rich people instead of selectively taxing rich liberals.”
Speaking of Ann Coulter, here she is w/ another fabulous blond Republican Xian.
Glenn Reynolds is a douche because he is a douche.
Will any former Democratic president ever have to cancel a speech because of the conservative mobs that are creating danger?”
Did he have to cancel his speech because of the liberal mob, or because they wanted to arrest him and try him as a war criminal?
Sadly, no, Sir Conrad Of Dingleberryshire isn’t still in the hoosegow … but I bet he’s STILL fighting valiantly to overturn the heinous miscarriage of justice that included CCTV footage of him B&E’ing his former employer in the dead of night to extract incriminating documents from his old office … liberal fascism ISREAL, sheeple!
Yes indeed, what better arbiter of feminine magic than the hyperbolically verbose half-wit that got hitched to famous gargoyle Barbara Amiel?
Perhaps Siggy Freud (or an optometrist) could enlighten us as to why wingnuts always get a chub over these shrewish bitches with POW physiques. At her thinnest, Sarah “Guess Which Psychotic-Looking Hairdo I’m Going To Wear On FOX Next” Palin is actually Rubenesque by their “standards.”
L.C. you got me by a minute or so.
Because I was busy sputtering.
And thanks, Hopey McChangeless, for “looking forwards and not back”.
~
I’d pay to watch them duel to the death – with rusty butter knives.
Monkey knife fight!
No hating on skinny chicks!
All for lithe women, but probably a genetic thing. As a bulky male, I’d guess my genes hope that a thin woman would result in average-sized offspring.
No hating on skinny chicks!
Why would anybody hate them for being skinny when there are so many perfectly good, non lookist reasons to hate on them?
, no, Sir Conrad Of Dingleberryshire isn’t still in the hoosegow …
according to wiki, he goes back on Sept. 6 for a few more months.
Hell yes, there’s no need to even look at those two to start in on the hatin’. The Coultergiest cracks me up with her victim act.
I woner how it feels to have Lord Blackheart describe you as a package.
No hating on skinny chicks!
One mark that one has spent a lot of time in The Bronx is that one wishes one’s girlfriend’s BUTTOCKS were just a little bit bigger.
Your vicious intolerance toward helpless war criminals & professional ratfuckers who steal elections & mock veterans shows that it’s you liberals that are the REAL Ameriterrorists™!
Coultergeist. Heh.
One mark that one has spent a lot of time in The Bronx is that one wishes one’s girlfriend’s BUTTOCKS were just a little bit bigger.
If you get your eyes closer, they’ll seem bigger. Jus’ sayin’.
Blind Date
Today’s POOP update from the road:
http://imgur.com/9BR6A
I hope you POOP experts can ‘splain me the fork
Oops. From Benbow CA.
If you don’t like looksist comments, please stop reading now.
Wow. Don’t get it. They both look like men to me. Seriously. I dunno. Maybe Conrad’s trying to tell us something.
Also, this entry looks familiar.
…so many perfectly good, non lookist reasons to hate on them?
Point of order, Your Honor. I have been on either side of the issue in the pasture, but I am now firmly convinced that the correct speeling is “looksist.”
~
If you get your eyes closer, they’ll seem bigger. Jus’ sayin’.
Note to self: Buy tandem bicycle, make modifications…
Point of order, Your Honor. I have been on either side of the issue in the pasture, but I am now firmly convinced that the correct speeling is “looksist.
I DEMAND that you teach the Controversy! Free Speech! Freedom of Spelling!
(PS: Really? I’ve never seen “looksist” until VS just wrote it a few posts back. Is this some kind of scheme to make points with her? You know she’s married, right?)
How about “propagandizing the non-revolting”?
We are, after all, referring to “looks,” not someone’s “look.”
I propose the creation of a bipartisan commission co-chaired by James Inhofe and Joe Lieberman to investigate and report back on the proper spelling of look(s)ist.
It should be publishing its initial findings just in time for the 2012 elections.
We could do that, I suppose, but you just know their recommendation will be to cut upper bracket tax rates.
their recommendation will be to cut upper bracket tax rates
Especially the rates for leggy blonde Xians.
leggy blonde Xians
If that’s true, is one side more uncivil than the other?
Remember, it’s only uncivil if someone says “fuck” or hits you with a pie while you plotting out your eliminationist fantasy about how all the mud people should be purged from the discourse.
Crystal meth christian
No hating on skinny chicks!
Damn, missed the easy joke:
We have always been at war with skinny chicks!
God Damn, the pusher man!
.
Now… why the FUCK couldn’t the clock get fixed in this server move/upgrade/excuse for people to fuck off? 😉
.
Time test.
No shit. I understand (No, I don’t, but I’m being generous.) the Euro time, but get the minutes right, at least!
No wonder everything’s so fucked up, no one even knows what time it is.
Oh yeah, that Anne Coulter is a long cool drink of water…
From here, I do believe.
I was thinking more along the lines of a tainted Love Canal, Dr D., which brings us right back to the original topic.
Speaking of tainted love canals . . .
. . . on second thought, no.
Free Speech! Freedom of Spelling!
Tastes Great! Less Filling!
This whole conversation for years about these “hot” right wing women consisting of weirdo snake faced grimacing and bulgey-eyed monsters indicates to me a bizarrely different standard for right wing women than any other media types.
In non-right-wing political / talkshow world, right wingers talk about how which ever starlet is hot, i.e., Megan Fox, or other women appearing on the pages of Maxim.
In right wing political / talkshow world, suddenly goofy Michellllle Bacccchhhhhhmannnn is “hot”, and the simply scary Ann Coulter instead of being used to frighten scarecrows away becomes “hot”.
From here, I do believe.
I once had a “Butte, Montana: The Richest Hill On Earth” T-shirt, w/ a picture of the pit & the hill of dirt next to it.
Now it’s more like the most expensive/dangerous hill on earth. (Certain areas of Afghanistan excepted.)
Oh shit, he is writing another book
http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/273882/clearing-decks-jonah-goldberg
whats it going be this time; ‘Communist Conservatism’, ‘Marxist Flower Arranging” or “Hey mommy, i pooped my pants”
Prodigious nym-fail.
*leaves in shame*
M. B. (not me) is objectively somewhat more physically attractive than Bella Abzug, therefore the forces of reaction win!!!
I’d pay to watch them duel to the death – with rusty butter knives.
with the winner to take on K-Lo, in a bare knuckle fist fight to the death….
Visceral Fatschism: How Liberals Conspired To Make Me Eat Too Much
In the spirit of bipartisanship and civility, I suggest looxist.
Erp…
Ill-timed thread drop.
I hereby issue a non-apology apology.
Nah, no one is expected to be completely current or anything. As long as we know to what you’re referring, no problem.
Esp. as no one here knows what time it is anyhoo.
I fucked Ann Coulter in the ass hard.
With Amy Alkon’s cock.
When reading this aloud, at least five of those seven attributes require air quotes.
Well back to Mr. Black himself, who is exponentially more ugly and more frightening than any monster that could have been contrived the most demented horror flick writer.
Reading that tripe was akin to walking through a smelling landfill. Wanting to find some truly rotten, putrid gems to bring back and illustrate to everyone the true essence of the rot there became frustrating. It was just too much.
The worm-eaten hunk of tenderloin? The half-open, smeared shite-full baby diaper?
Then the trouble of having to look at it and read it again in order to get through the cut and paste process. Because I’m a basic computer user, using my fingers to pick up the thorny bits here and there. Lacking the convenience of hot-key levers there was no way I could manage to read, select and then of course, re-read as I attempt to assemble all that garbage in order to comment on it.
And lo! Comment I wanted to plenty! Like some poor delusional maniac, he poops his pants for all to see and shamelessly smiles on. You can’t believe it, you have to look. But when the neighborhood says, “What a fine fellow!” you feel compelled to explain why he’s so obviously not.
But, if anyone wanted to look into the bowels of the nasty world of the monied; into what comprises the cranial contents of the uber-wealthy, the trust funder elites, “lord” Black lays it bare, shamelessly, for all the world to see his smelling, putrid under-belly of class hatred, contempt for humankind and complete intellectualism without one shred of intelligent imagination.
The mangoes over there are rotten and will induce nausea, disgust and possibly hallucinations of committing mass slaughter on Park Avenue.
We need not even discuss Coulter or Ingraham. The Lord Blackheart of the Crosshairs of Humanity can disgust all on his own.
practicing Christian
It helps to remember that this phrase is used here as a term of art, meaning “Willing to flatter one’s audience by claiming to share their tribal superstitions and shibboleths”. No-one seriously believes that Ann Coulter genuinely adheres to Christian theology, or expects her to follow Christian morality; in fact, if anyone thought she did, there would be a general groundswell of resentment among her fans. “Hypocrisy and insincerity and tokens of belief are good enough for us… aren’t they good enough for her? Does she think she’s better than us?”
Hypocrisy in republican politicians and pundits: requirement not bug.
practising Christian
tis funny, whenever i hear that, im thinking, why are the practising, are they just not very good at it……
I fucked Ann Coulter in the ass hard. With Amy Alkon’s cock.
you owe me a new keyboard, asshole, I just sprayed strawberry milk* all over mine……
fywp,
* – veiled masturbation reference????
I thought lookist was the citrus brand to be avoided.
I fucked Ann Coulter in the ass hard. With
AmyArnold Alkon’s cock.Fixed yer post
One mark that one has spent a lot of time in The Bronx is that one wishes one’s girlfriend’s BUTTOCKS were just a little bit bigger.
I like big butts, and I cannot lie…
No wonder everything’s so fucked up, no one even knows what time it is.
Does anyone really know what time it is?
Ooo-oooh
Does anyone really care?
I thought only castrating feminazi lieberals were never-married at that age. Shouldn’t a nice, witty, practicing Christian woman of XTREME HAWTNESS BLARGH have been married and plopping out babies years ago?
Also I’ll need to see their respective True Love Waits™ rings, or chastity belts, or whatever it is the kids use these days to show they love Daddy and Jesus more than nasty, icky sex.
Also thinking about either of those women in a sexual context makes me vaguely nauseous.
Also I’ll need to see their respective True Love Waits™ rings, or chastity belts, or whatever it is the kids use these days to show they love Daddy and Jesus more than nasty, icky sex.
Given Coulter’s long history with Bill Maher, she ain’t chaste and she ain’t a christian.
“Willing to flatter one’s audience by claiming to share their tribal superstitions and shibboleths”.
OK, this is just me making the commonplace observation that the Republican movement is all about the Purity Tests. And Black in turn is saying that compared to European counterparts, US public figures are far more willing to kneel down and submit to a purity test in order to receive right-wing acceptance. This, apparently, is a Good Thing.
Anyhows, that’s what I think he’s saying, though it’s hard to tell because he strives so hard for an orotund grandiloquent High Style… when you are used to inventing your own facts, inventing your own version of English is no trouble at all.
Ahem, he ahemmed!
Anyhows, that’s what I think he’s saying, though it’s hard to tell because he strives so hard for an orotund grandiloquent High Style… when you are used to inventing your own facts, inventing your own version of English is no trouble at all.
It’s just like how Isaac Newton had to invent his own math to prove his new theories. This is English Calculus. Brooks and Douthat are adept at this “skill” as well.
“Silence has become the enemy of our culture. . . . An abusive soundtrack runs under every aspect of lives now. At times, it feels like we are extras in a Rihanna video, without the rehearsal or the paycheck.”
OMG! laura…stop! stop! my side!
if we can track it down, maybe a very large ball of twine.
if anyone tells jonah that the world’s largest ball of twine is in darwin, mn i will kill them!
also, jonah? the beach? are you sure that’s a good idea?
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The best part of Sir Lord High Executioner Black’s little vanity exercise at “The Corner” is that in the comments section there is a debate about whether Ms Ingraham’s having adopted three children disqualifies her as a conservative.
I believe they decided that since they are Russian (white) children, she may still be considered a conservative, provisionally.
TUBBY Black, it’s Disgraced Media Baron Lord Conrad “Tubby” Black of DoubleCrossharbour
Just to be mean let’s note that Conrad’s douchebaggery may be genetic.
http://www.torontosun.com/2011/07/28/jonathan-black-faces-court-like-dad-conrad
More Conrad delights, as noted in Private Eye:
http://www.standpointmag.co.uk/node/3932
Condrad in Standpoint magazine in June, hrumphing about the “judgement and ethics” of Michael Ignatieff – Shortly before, as noted above, he himself has to return to prison on fraud charges.
From the comments:
“Sir: ‘Conrad Black is an author, columnist, and investor. He is the author of Richard M. Nixon: A Life in Full and Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Champion of Freedom.’ SHURELY there is more information available on the activities of this learned author.”
Does anyone really know what time it is?
Ooo-oooh
Does anyone really care?
Care?
About time?
Now now fellas, cut Lord Tubby some slack here. Guy just got out of the joint!
N__B said,
Two Republicans, one cup?
Two Republicans one GOP
I just moused over the word “women” on the Nat. Review web site and got a pop-up ad for hamburger helper!
Why doesn’t his bioblurb say, “Conrad Black, convicted felon”?