Eggs, Omelets, Etc.


ABOVE: Thomas Fleming (left or right, you decide)

Shorter Thomas Fleming, The White Street Journal:
What Michele Bachmann Should Have Said About Slavery

  • The Founding Fathers considered the enslavement of Negroes a small price to pay for creating the greatest country ever. And they were right!

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 166

 
 
 

Some of the “Founding Fathers” considered enslavement of the Negroes to be the natural order of things and no price at all.

 
 

A “small price” to pay? Three-fifths isn’t that small!

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

See, I wasn’t crazy! Geordie and Dick are back! They just circled around the wormhole and lost a day.

 
 

Mmm… Omelettes

 
 

Sure…sure, anything you say…now put the battleaxe down and I’ve got a nice warm not-in-any-way drugged cup of cocoa for you…

 
 

The Founding Fathers considered the enslavement of Negroes a small price to pay for creating the greatest country ever. And they were right!

????

Fleming makes it clear that the failure to abolish slavery at the founding of the US led to the Civil War. He doesn’t say it was ‘a small price to pay’… just the opposite.

 
 

Revised Shorter: “Michelle Bachmann, frontrunning Republican Presidential primary candidate in Iowa, was completely wrong in her statement about slavery and the Founding Fathers, but never mind. Oh, here’s the truth, as if you care.”

 
 

See, I wasn’t crazy! Geordie and Dick are back! They just circled around the wormhole and lost a day.

There is the theory of the Moebius — a twist in the fabric of space where time becomes a loop…

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

There is the theory of the Moebius — a twist in the fabric of space where time becomes a loop…

But if you wake up next to a quivering purple cube—don’t touch it!

 
 

Snorhagen’s right – this guy’s article really isn’t some racist screed. The comments on the article, though … yeesh.

 
 

There is the theory of the Moebius — a twist in the fabric of space where time becomes a loop…

That explains my job.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

We should have just left these Yahoos out in the cold. Giving each of their states two unearned electoral votes is bad enough still, but giving them House seats based on counting 3/5 of people who couldn’t even vote? Just to get them to join the union? Fuck that! Instead of partitioning the rest of the continent between slave and free it would have been a free-for-all between the two countries. Guess who would have won? We could have kept slavery confined to the southeast, and would undoubtedly have beaten their asses in a war or two anyway, and brought in their territory with no concessions to their backward institutions. Think how much better off we’d be today.

Of course, I wouldn’t be here—my mother’s side of the family would be in another country, but, oh well!

 
 

Well, sort of. Slavery didn’t become immensely profitable for unforeseen reasons, it was immensely profitable because it’s FREE labour. That’s something never forgot by capitalists. Second, it wasn’t profitable for the South in general, just for the elite who owned the slaves. Third, where’s the ubiquitous rightwing argument that the civil war was about “state’s rights, not slavery” so we can say “Yes, and you LOST!”

 
 

Would have the “colonial powers” left Slaveland alone? What if the southeast had ended up speaking French or something?

 
 

Guess who would have won?

That wouldn’t have been clear in the late 18th century. The south was economically much stronger than the north then, strange as that seems now.

 
 

Well, these days they say “illiteracy and early death from preventable causes for the proles is a small price to pay to keep rich people’s tax rates 3% lower!” and “de facto slavery is a small price to pay for bigger profit margins!” and “unbreathable air and undrinkable water are small prices to pay for saving a few cents per unit on production costs,” so it really wouldn’t be at all surprising if the article said exactly what the shorter indicates. Nor would it be surprising for the WSJ to print it.

 
 

I agree with some earlier posters that this article didn’t really deserve an SN-ing. It’s much more honest and even-handed than its comments section deserves. Jesus, the comments over there are depressing me to the point of suicide.

 
 

Ok, ok, fine! If the article is so swell, that we can all swim ashore — how about some choice nut-picking? We’re never going to get to 300 comments at this rate. Show me the mangoes!!

 
 

how about some choice nut-picking?

‘Kay. I’ll get the ball rolling with this choice specimen from page 5:

Abraham Lincoln was the worst president in American history. He tried to do the impossible, and failed miserably. Why did he run on the platform to eliminate slavery, when he knew great people before him, such as George Washington, failed to? Instead of doing the drastic thing he did, something that caused the death of 620,000 people and caused a generation of poverty in the South, he should have taken the gradual road. He could have asked that families not be broken up, but that the parents and young children must stay together. He could have asked that severe punishment would result in the freedom of the slave, as the Bible in the book of Exodus discusses. Finally, within a few decades the institution of slavery would have died a natural death with the advent of new technology.

I am sick and tired of the lavish praise to Mr. Lincoln. We cannot be too drastic. We tried to make alcohol illegal, but failed. We are failing in the drug war. We need to focus on education, and to stress the dangers of driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol or whatever.

Newt Gingrich said some conservatives are extreme, as they want to suddenly make changes in our society. He is right. We can never make very sudden changes to actions that very many people do.

This being said, Bachman’s point that a gay marriage is in effect slavery for the children is a point well taken.

BTW, what happens when a man marries two wives, one of which is a man?

Okay, let’s not get off the topic!

 
 

Well, Sheesh, there’s…

16 hours ago
Kent Lyon wrote:

Mr. Fleming presents an excellent case, despite his “no” answer, that Michelle Bachmann was exactly, precisely, correct in her statement. The Founders worked tirelessly to ensure the end of slavery, recognizing that it was completely incompatible with the Declaration and the founding principles. Fallible human beings though they were, and incompletely succesful as they were in the short run, they nevertheless set the nation irrevocably on a course to end slavery. In the long run, they were successful.. In the very long run, however, we are all becoming slaves to our own profligacy, manacling ourselves with massive debt. Lincoln freed the slaves; Obama is enslaving us all. At least the Founders struggled to establish a course that would lead to the end of slavery. Our current federal government seems dead set against even trying to establish a course that would free us from our enslaving debt; to the contrary, the Obama administration is doing everything possible to increase the weight of that bale of debt we’re forced to lift.

Shorter Kent Lyon: The national debt that Bush spent us into is equivalent to Obama enslaving us. The sad part? It has 4 “recommendations.”

 
 

Geez, Johnston, I just found that one. Your ability to discover the crazy far outstrips mine.

 
 

In his first draft of the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson wrote a scathing condemnation of the slave trade, which he blamed on British greed and hypocrisy. It was edited out of the final version because Southerners wanted the trade to continue. They were supported by New Englanders, whose ships found the human traffic hugely profitable. But Jefferson’s blazing words remained a powerful memory in the minds of many congressmen. “It is written in the book of fate that these people shall be free,” he declared.

You know, if that’s true and not just an urban legend made up to make him look better, then Jefferson really is a huge dick. A slave-owner and slave-banger condemning slavery by the British and pushing the douchebagger to the point of calling them “greedy” and “hypocritical”? Ah, self awareness mega fail to end all mega fails in the history of mega fails? Like, what the FUCK? Unlike Washington, he can’t even claim he freed them upon his death. What. A. DICK.

 
 

During a thread blaming “all of this” on our education system, there’s:

The sad state of our education is more closely related to imbeciles like MoonBeam mandating that schools teach how wonderful gays and LGBLT sandwiches are to impressionable kids. The next time a leftist loon on these comment pages claims the Founding Fathers were all horrible slave-beating, witch-burning, rich white pigs but they can tell you obscure irrelevant facts about some absolutely saintly homosexual who somehow contributed to this nation’s greatness, you can blame DemonRaat politicians. And union-led teachers’ unions.

***BREAKING***
***MUST CREDIT WSJ***

Teachers’ Unions are unions!

 
Spearhafoc, who loves ya, baby
 

BTW, what happens when a man marries two wives, one of which is a man?

What. Does. That. Even. Mean?

 
 

This being said, Bachman’s point that a gay marriage is in effect slavery for the children is a point well taken. […] BTW, what happens when a man marries two wives, one of which is a man?

Lincoln freed the slaves; Obama is enslaving us all.

LGBLT sandwiches […] And union-led teachers’ unions.

Now that’s what I’m talking about!

 
 

FTR, while I don’t particularly worship the Founding Fathers to the degree that so many Americans do (as you can see above), I probably would’ve done the same thing even if I disagreed with slavery – allow it in order to get the Union together and then let people deal with it.

Putting slavery ahead of the Union would’ve resulted in at least two American countries, which would’ve allowed the Brits to do their standard MO of playing the two against each other and thereby regaining control of the region. I can easily see us ending up like Latin America, third world puppets in perpetual bondage to the major powers, if we’d gone down that road.

 
 

BTW, what happens when a man marries two wives, one of which is a man?

What. Does. That. Even. Mean?

Umm, I think it means that the man is bi-Mormon.

 
 

Oh, and a couple nuggets from the article;

John Adams never owned a slave. When he wrote the constitution of Massachusetts in 1779, he asserted as its basic principle: “All men are born free and equal.” In 1781, a Bay State slave named Quok Walker sued for his freedom based on this clause. Walker won and slavery was on its way to oblivion in Massachusetts. Other New England states, and Pennsylvania, began programs for gradual manumission that freed all children born of slave parents. Alexander Hamilton supported a similar program in the New York Manumission Society. So did his partner, close friend and future chief justice of the Supreme Court, John Jay.

And now you know where and how the “liberal activist judges” meme originated, kids!

And in their links, I’m not clicking on this but there’s a title here that says “Islamic Theologian Says Prophet Muhammad Likely Never Existed,” and I’m just wondering how many of the people who read it were the same guys I saw standing outside of theaters five years ago with “DA VINCI CODE A LIE!” protest signs.

 
Senorita Piggy in Leather
 

I can easily see us ending up like Latin America, third world puppets in perpetual bondage to the major powers, if we’d gone down that road.

Hmm kinky!

 
 

what happens when a man marries two wives, one of which is a man?

A fabulous party!

 
Spearhafoc, who loves ya, baby
 

I’ve been lurking here for years, but I never thought to ask about the Seinfeld quotes. What’s the deal?

 
 

I never thought to ask about the Seinfeld quotes. What’s the deal?

Seb is actually George Costanza.

 
 

Also too: note Fleming’s point about the hopelessness of the Nation without the central government’s power to tax. Today’s Teabaggers would be calling the slaveholders “job creators”.

 
 

BTW, what happens when a man marries two wives, one of which is a man?

I’m just stuck on a different aspect of this line. Primarily, what the HOLY FUCK does he think will happen.

I mean, what would happen in a world where poly marriage was legal would be that the two man and the woman would together form a legal family complete with all the rights and protections granted by that and it would affect all the busy-bodies not one single fuck despite their constant squealing.

But apparently he thinks something terrible would happen. Something so obvious in its negative consequences that it’s self-evident. So, what the hell would it be?

I mean, it’s not even a belief that poly itself does something because he’s less bothered by the idea that there could be a marriage of two women and there does seem to be some old-fashioned “the husband is lord and master of his castle and has full rights to his house-slaves, I mean wives” going on.

Does he assume that if someone marries a man and a woman, then all the “roles” will be filled up? That gay couples compensate by having one person take on the “less natural” role of woman or man despite their sex? And so the remaining male would disappear in a puff of logic or find themselves wildly oscillating between man and woman like a quantum wavelength doomed never to collapse?

And again how would this affect Captain McWantsTwoHouseSlaves and his gay marriage is slavery addled mind? Or rather how does he think this will affect him? Is he worried that men and women will come out of the woodwork to force marry him and stick him in a quantum loop to silence Bachmann’s shock troops and prevent the return of the Messiah owing to contaminating homo rays?

Or am I reading way too much into this?

And he just tried to write the standard “huh, gay marriage is no longer seen as evil, so poly marriage, that’s still scary, right? Slippery slope!” argument, but after he wrote about marrying “two wives” he stopped for a second and went “huh, that actually sounds pretty hot and not at all pants-shittingly terrifying” and so went back to standard homophobia to try and make it seem horrifying again “oh yeah, and one of them’s a man and man on man sex is icky, take that liberals, I iz good arguer”.

I mean, that’s probably the more likely explanation, but still, it raises some bloody strange questions.

 
 

OT, but on topic for general stupidity. I’m trying to watch the Mets game and fucking TBS has preempted it for “Breaking News: Casey Anthony Out of Jail.” Regardless of anyone’s opinion of Anthony’s guilt or innocence, I hope we can all agree that the release of a woman who has been acquitted is not news. It is a non-event.

 
 

The Founders worked tirelessly to ensure the end of slavery

Well, to be honest, they had their slaves work tirelessly so the super awesome Founders could be freed up to think hard about the really important stuff like “just how much more representation does a slave-owner merit?”

BTW, what happens when a man marries two wives, one of which is a man?

What happens is NOBODY gets ANY sleep for quite a while. Also: chafing.

 
 

OT submission without comment

Money…

Many journalists are in bed with the very authorities they are supposed to examine, defy and criticize. That cozy relationship has taken journalists far from ethical practices. Self-examination is all but absent in journalism, and recrimination, hand wringing and retribution rule when corruption is exposed.

Tell me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are. If your friends are politicians, and if you are cozy with the men in government, then eventually their ethics will rub off on you. The tactics of Mr. Murdoch’s minions are an imitation of the ways of government and an extension of the appalling intrusion of government and corporations in our daily lives That Mr. Murdoch will now be felled by governments and politicians is nothing short of delicious irony.

 
 

LGBLT sandwiches are made with hummus, arugula, and fancy French mustard and have the crusts cut off.

 
bbkf, who is Sister Cat-o-nine-tails of Appreciative Joy
 

OT, but on topic for general stupidity. I’m trying to watch the Mets game and fucking TBS has preempted it for “Breaking News: Casey Anthony Out of Jail.” Regardless of anyone’s opinion of Anthony’s guilt or innocence, I hope we can all agree that the release of a woman who has been acquitted is not news. It is a non-event.

nancy grace is clutching her twins and weeping bitter, bitter tears…

 
 

Oh, I thought a LG BLT was what you eat when you are really hungry as oppsed to a SM BLT that you eat when you just want a light snack.

 
bbkf, who is Sister Cat-o-nine-tails of Appreciative Joy
 

he Founders worked tirelessly to ensure the end of slavery

Well, to be honest, they had their slaves work tirelessly so the super awesome Founders could be freed up to think hard about the really important stuff like “just how much more representation does a slave-owner merit?”

BTW, what happens when a man marries two wives, one of which is a man?

What happens is NOBODY gets ANY sleep for quite a while. Also: chafing.

both comments…solid gold!

 
 

The tactics of Mr. Murdoch’s minions are an imitation of the ways of government…

I don’t think he needed to imitate anyone or anything – the man was a natural. When it comes to corruption, slime, and manipulation, not even the sleaziest political hack could have taught Murdoch anything.

 
 

Oh, bread-kinda sandwiches. I never would have thought of that, although my solution does get rather involved geometrically.

 
 

You know, if that’s true and not just an urban legend made up to make him look better, then Jefferson really is a huge dick.

That’s what I thought, too. I was like…um, really? That’s supposed to make him look good?

 
bbkf, who is Sister Cat-o-nine-tails of Appreciative Joy
 

That’s what I thought, too. I was like…um, really? That’s supposed to make him look good?

triple ditto…and washington was a dick as well…although it was swell that he set all his slaves free after he and martha had no more use for them…

 
 

No one out-Murdochs Murdoch!!

 
 

I can’t believe that we’re still talking about this slavery business. It was fucking evil and it is still fucking evil, second only to genocide in fucking evilness. Any argument or rationalization to the contrary points directly to the evil fucking nature of the apologist. The fact that the Founders owned slaves only serves to reinforce the underlying fact that all men have fucking evil in their souls. Some more than others.

I was raised by and large in the South, went to the same high school (Sidney Lanier in Macon) as John Birch, and was taught that the Civil War was fought not to protect slavery, but to protect the constitutionally guaranteed rights of the states against a tyrannical Federal (Yankee) government. The Civil War was called, amongst other things, The War of Northern Aggression, The War Between the States, and The War for Southern Independence.

At Lanier, we did not celebrate Lincoln’s birthday, but we were taught that the greatest American Heroes all came from the ranks of the Confederacy and that the invading blue coats were led by drunks, pillagers, rapists, and were followed by the nastiest specimens of Yankee Trash, the Carpetbagger.

We were taught that the KKK was founded to protect civil society from the savage negro and that had it not been for this Christian organization, the South would have been ruled by illiterate negro criminals secretly manipulated by carpetbaggers.

These modern day apologists are no different in nature or intent than any member of the Klan. Their hearts are black and their souls are damned to perdition.

 
 

washington was a dick

Nine dicks, actually. Or was it twenty? I’m too lazy to watch this thing again to find out.

 
bbkf, who is Sister Cat-o-nine-tails of Appreciative Joy
 

the nation was mired in a deep economic depression.

and

John Rutledge of South Carolina, while admitting that slavery might offend “religion and humanity,” declared that the Carolinas and Georgia could not survive without it.

what can we learn from teh founders and history that would help us out today? enslave the illegals! hear me out: corporate america would make even more gazillions becaue, you know…no labor costs(unions would be dead), the jobs the illegals stole from actual hardworking amurrkans would become plentiful since the illegals would now be doing the really crap work, economy fixxed!

there would be global benefits as well: illegals would flock to the usa for the chance to raise their kids in a two parent family, thus easing overpopulation and poverty in their own countries.

while not the most humane solution, the sacrifice of the illegals would not go unnoticed by the corporate overlords…i’m sure housing and some rudimentary medical care could be worked out…

your welcome, amurrka!

 
 

Dr. BDH and Snorhagen are right, the original article is a perfectly sound historical account of what really happened. Sure, the author doesn’t insult Bachmann’s intelligence too badly, but that doesn’t make what a wrote the racist screed that the ‘shorter’ makes it out to be.

 
bbkf, who is Sister Cat-o-nine-tails of Appreciative Joy
 

Nine dicks, actually. Or was it twenty? I’m too lazy to watch this thing again to find out.

yeah…thanks for that…and actually i believe the total dick count was 30 or something like that…

as one of the utube commenters said, ‘i will now never be able to look at george washington the same…’

mostly because i just always thought of him as a slave owning narcissist who had a big ass and liked to dance…

 
bbkf, who is Sister Cat-o-nine-tails of Appreciative Joy
 

At Lanier, we did not celebrate Lincoln’s birthday,

well to be fair, that could really be because of incidences such as this

 
 

Or was it twenty? I’m too lazy to watch this thing again to find out.

I’ll watch it again, I think it’s a groovy tune and I can dance to it.
~

 
 

BTW, what happens when a man marries two wives, one of which is a man?

“It’s not gay when it’s a three way. With a honey in the middle there’s some leeway.”
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/justin-timberlake-lady-gaga-snl-191023

 
 

Fun Fact:

George Washington had a wooden dick.

 
 

yeah the shorter is not especially fair, although it does fit the comments….

 
 

“well to be fair, that could really be because of incidences such as this”

Thank you. I watched it twice. Good medicine.

 
 

I got out of the boat and I agree that the article was fair. As for the comments . . . did you know that Obama thinks we have 57 states? Who’s the big stupid now libtards?

 
 

“George Washington had a wooden dick.”

That’s funny, both ways. I had a bird dog that was born with two dicks. We named him George Washington, or gee-dubya. The expression, “hornier than a two-dick-dog” started with my GW, I’m pretty sure.

 
 

“George Washington had a wooden dick.”

Funner Fact:
This is where the expression “sportin’ wood” comes from.

 
 

The other gee-dubya was twice as much of a dick as other dicks also.

 
 

Obviously the right-wing is not racist, just their comments are.

 
 

I’m going to disagree with all of y’all. The subtitle of this is enough to warrant a Sadly-No-ing: “What Michele Bachmann Should Have Said About Slavery: The Founding Fathers knew that ending this evil was their great unfinished business

No, no they didn’t. The whole point of Fleming’s article is that the “survival of the nation” outweighed the survival of the enslaved (and yes, slavery was a matter of survival), and the Framers had to make some sort of terrible choice between correcting their society as it was destroyed or ignoring its faults to let it live. That’s basically the definition of a false choice, which has been deliberately set up to excuse racism.

Let’s talk about what the Framers actually did. The rights of their slaves were subordinate to their comfort. A small number of them had the foresight to set their slaves free, but only in their wills after a lifetime of servitude. Even if we accept the false premise, that’s not knowing that slavery as an abstract was evil but tolerating it, that’s living with it and accepting it personally.

Instead of looking at these historical figures critically, however, Fleming’s looking at them through tea-tinted glasses, so of course they knew that they should’ve abolished slavery, but they couldn’t quite do it, especially since there was More Important Things to do like ringing bells to tell the British they couldn’t get our arms. No, the Framers are exactly like our modern conservatives – they would realize that overt plantation-conditions of slavery are wrong (not so for those with less blatant exploitation) but fail to do anything to actually stop them, the moral majority.

 
 

Obviously the right-wing is not racist, just their comments are.

It’s so hard to understand. Maybe there’s some high-pitched noise that only their common taters can hear?
~

 
bbkf, who is Sister Cat-o-nine-tails of Appreciative Joy
 

Thank you. I watched it twice. Good medicine.

i cannot help but laff everytime i see it…

 
bbkf, who is Sister Cat-o-nine-tails of Appreciative Joy
 

No, the Framers are exactly like our modern conservatives – they would realize that overt plantation-conditions of slavery are wrong (not so for those with less blatant exploitation) but fail to do anything to actually stop them, the moral majority.

agreed…my earlier comment about enslaving illegals, was my clumsy attempt at saying this…

 
 

Obviously the right-wing is not racist, just their comments are.

Liberal mind-control devices forced them to make racist comments.

 
 

But if you wake up next to a quivering purple cube—don’t touch it!

STOP LOOKING IN MY WINDOW

 
 

the Framers are exactly like our modern conservatives

Orly Taitz is the clone of Abigail Adams.

 
bbkf, who is Sister Cat-o-nine-tails of Appreciative Joy
 

holy crap!

rebeka brooks arrested…

 
Spearhafoc, who loves ya, baby
 

She’s a redhead?

I’m conflicted.

 
 

rebeka brooks arrested…

Veeery interesting. I bet she has lots and lots and lots of dirt on dear old Rupert.

Notice this line: she was “assisting the police with their inquiries.” I bet Murdoch’s sphincter contracted when he read that.

 
 

Well, sort of. Slavery didn’t become immensely profitable for unforeseen reasons, it was immensely profitable because it’s FREE labour.

Well, not exactly. Massa had to at least provide food, clothing and shelter for the slaves and their families.

Nowadays, many of us find we need TWO massas to swing it.

 
 

I thought that was just the nice Brit way of saying “we threw her in the clink to interrogate her.”

 
 

The head of the Metropolitan Police has also resigned.

 
 

BTW, what happens when a man marries two wives, one of which is a man?

What happens is NOBODY gets ANY sleep for quite a while. Also: chafing.

I larfed muchly, tigris.

 
 

“assisting the police with their inquiries.”

This is standard UK journalese for “locked up”. Still, one can dream……………..

 
 

SHEESH!!

 
guitarist manqué
 

One interpretation of Brooks getting thrown (temporarily) in the pokey is that because she is involved in a criminal case she won’t be able to testify before Parliament’s investigation. I could see the police being willing to help her out that way.

 
 

She’s a redhead?

I’m conflicted.

Makes two of us.

She could assist me with inquiries…

 
 

I got out of the boat and I agree that the article was fair. As for the comments . . . did you know that Obama thinks we have 57 states? Who’s the big stupid now libtards?

Also they’re really hung up about “Obama thinks a dead soldier is alive,” which is a conservo-meme I’ve never heard before. Wassup wi’ dat?

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

This is standard UK journalese for “locked up”. Still, one can dream……………..

One could hope it meant “Congratulations! You have been selected to assist the Ministry of Information in some inquiries….”

I think that should be “enquiries” but spell-check disagrees. Oh well.

 
 

She’s a redhead?

I’m conflicted.

I’m all for gingers, but I’m no more attracted to Brooks than I am to Sam. Personality matters, gents.

 
 

bbfk: Thanks for the link; I haven’t followed the Murdoch / UK stuff much; it was nice to get some texture and more detailed background about what’s going on.

(I have been more-or-less avoiding ALL news since March.)

 
 

Orly Taitz is the clone of Abigail Adams

There are many copies

 
 

On-Topic. (Well, sort of…)

I’m conflicted about the Shorter. Multiple S,N commenters whose opinions I value have said that this Shorter misrepresents the article.

As you know, I never ever leave the boat unless I’m forced to.

I’ve always liked TinTin’s Shorters. Imo, he is a master of the form. So I’m seriously conflicted: Should I get my white linen suit wet and wade into the swamp just this once?

Cogitating….cogitating…cogitating…

Nope. Gonna go with the with the Wisdom of the Ages: Always trust the Shorter.

Good thread going on!

 
 

I feel like jumping up and down. Fucked News has finally fucked itself! The wicked witch is dead. I am so happy about all this I just can’t tell you how happy I am. I am so happy, I am happier about this than I am that my tenant paid all of last year’s late fees on Friday (which I had already forgiven, btw).

 
 

The wonderful British, they really do have a way with words:

“Ah, yes, well you see, they have thrown her (Rebekah Brooks) overboard, but if the boat continues to sink, the only ones left are named Murdoch.”

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

So who’s going to be the first congressional Republican to call for a declaration of war against the UK if they cause poor ‘ol Rupert any more heartache?

 
 

There’s a motherless fuck named Ailes………………..I’d like to see how long he could float.

 
Looch, aka Brother Brass Knuckles of Moderation
 

There’s a motherless fuck named Ailes………………..I’d like to see how long he could float.

With a sack of bowling balls tied to his leg.

More cosmically righteous, says me.

 
Looch, aka Brother Brass Knuckles of Moderation
 

The $64,000 (my, he is old) question is, did Faux News participate in the phone hacking, and if so, did they do so with 9/11 victims?

A boy can dream, can’t he?

 
 

My ancestors didn’t want to get in the boat.
Many generations later, I don’t want to get out of it.

 
Looch, aka Brother Brass Knuckles of Moderation
 
 

#

Spearhafoc, who loves ya, baby said,

July 17, 2011 at 22:43

She’s a redhead?

I’m conflicted.

My sister’s a redhead, but her hair is straight. So it’s okay.

 
bbkf, who is Sister Cat-o-nine-tails of Appreciative Joy
 

bbfk: Thanks for the link; I haven’t followed the Murdoch / UK stuff much; it was nice to get some texture and more detailed background about what’s going on.

fenwick: if you’re interested, here’s a link to a vanity fair article that will get you up to speed on the whole mess called the dark arts

 
bbkf, who is Sister Cat-o-nine-tails of Appreciative Joy
 

did Faux News participate in the phone hacking, and if so, did they do so with 9/11 victims?

well, news of the world either did or attempted to hack into 9/11 victims’ cell phones, so i guess it would be irresponsible not to speculate…

it is only a short leap that needs to be made…and doesn’t faux news do ALOT of judging of a certain black american president regarding the company he kept?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

She’s a redhead?

I’m conflicted.

Hey, start corresponding with her while she’s in the clink, maybe you’ll get conjugal visits.

 
bbkf, who is Sister Cat-o-nine-tails of Appreciative Joy
 

Hey, start corresponding with her while she’s in the clink, maybe you’ll get conjugal visits.

too late…she’s already been sprung

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

too late…she’s already been sprung

The article doesn’t say who done sprung her, but I suspect that it was a dapper Canadian with five billion hats.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

With even the odious Peter King going after Fox, you know Murdoch’s shitting himself to an extent not explained by his aged bowels.

 
 

Hey, she’s got that Irish Spring commercial redhead look about her.

“phone hacking – strong enuff fer a man!”

“But I like it too!”

 
 

Hey, she’s got that Irish Spring commercial redhead look about her.

As has been pointed out in other places, she also goes in for the Cruella de Vil look.

 
Kate is bored again..
 

I agree with what’s said here, I got out of the boat and read the menu thoroughly and didn’t see any deviations from what I understood from my learnings about history.

But the problem is in the lack of outrage at the decision that the “founding fathers” made, as if they are immune from any moral condemnation from our modern minds.

Slavery was a horrible institution and the fact is, that it has also left a huge stain on this country and caused the entire southern region of the country to be a backwash of ignorance for the last 200 years, because having people in bondage to do your work in exchange for wooden beds, barren shacks and rawhide shoes was far preferable to bothering with bringing in machines.

The power and control over the south enjoyed by the plantation culture didn’t just dissolve after the civil war; it has persisted and still persists today with the descendants of slaves still living in horrendous poverty. Katrina and the right-wing response to it provided a beautiful example of modern institutionalized racism.

It really doesn’t matter what the founding fathers wanted or were thinking at that time; they were surrounded by cultural norms and wealth and privilege that they had no interest in sacrificing.

John Q. may not have been a slave owner, but more because no one had huge plantations in Massachusetts than that he had any revolutionary and forward humanism in him. He was a well-known and hated slum lord who owned and profited from the oppression of many early white lower class immigrants and indentured servants in New England.

Not only that, but to equate the questioning of the institution of slavery by the founding fathers does not give them a gold card to humanism. I don’t think any of them were ready to grant full rights of citizenship to anyone of African heritage — or any non-white non landowning males for that matter. They had little interest in direct involvement by the white rabble nor did they have any visions of Martin L. King or a black president.

Most in fact advocated for the shipping of all Africans and African-Americans back to Africa — thus the founding of the country of Liberia, to be a means to that end. They cared little for the fact that most Africans had their culture and identity completely stripped from them and wouldn’t have integrated in Africa by the 1800’s anymore than if they had been sent to the moon.

And they didn’t give a damn about that either.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Hey, she’s got that Irish Spring commercial redhead look about her.

“phone hacking – strong enuff fer a man!”

Strong enough to cover the stink of corruption.

 
 

“Hey, start corresponding with her while she’s in the clink, maybe you’ll get conjugal visits.”

Holy mother of Mary! You’re right. What’s air fare to the U.K.? Are they still using the Concorde? I’ll start my first letter right now:

Dear Becka,

I hope you don’t mind me calling you Becka. Rebekah looks so weird ending with an “h” and all. I’m sure I’m not the first one to point that out.

You are so totally hot with your krinkly red hair! Girl! Is that like, a perm? I hope not but if it is it’s really a good one! Do you have freckles like most redheads? I’m not crazy about freckles, especially if you have them on your back, but you can just wear a shirt whenever I’m around.

My goodness, you’re like so hot in prison! Have they like given you a special uniform to wear yet? Like awesome, I’m really into prison blues and oranges. I hope they don’t make you wear orange in the slammer there, it would like so clash with your hair. That could be a total turn off to some dudes.

Okay. I know you don’t want to talk about the whole prisony thing, so maybe we could talk about your family. How are they taking your arrest? Are they all like, “Oh Rebekah, poor dear, and to think you were at the top, the very top, and Mr Murdoch really loves you and now he’s thrown you overboard!” Some families are like that you know. But don’t worry about it, because I’m here for you.

Well, not exactly right here, because I’m free in America and you’re in prison in the great country of England, our Mother Country, and that’s why we speak English.

Okay, Becka, I have to go now. Fox News is on and even though you’re in big trouble over there it’s still my favorite program. Sean Hannity rocks don’t you think?

Hugs and kisses,

Rodertrudis

 
bbkf, who is Sister Cat-o-nine-tails of Appreciative Joy
 

odertudis said,
July 18, 2011 at 1:59

heh…

 
bbkf, who is Sister Cat-o-nine-tails of Appreciative Joy
 

Most in fact advocated for the shipping of all Africans and African-Americans back to Africa

so really, many amurrkans have not progressed beyond the founding fathers’ ideas…

shocking, really…perhaps if obama had advocated leeches and subscribed to the four humours school of medicine instead of mandatory health care, he wouldn’t have pissed off so many of them…

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I hope they don’t make you wear orange in the slammer there, it would like so clash with your hair. That could be a total turn off to some dudes.

Orange jumpsuit, red hair… she’d look like a woman on fire. Meanwhile, the victims of the hacking scandal were caught beneath the wheel of evil. Uh, I’ll be in my bunk, watching Leslie Dowdall videos. Mmmm… Leslie Dowdall…

 
food pron obsessed Emperor of Portland, Pupienus
 

Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. So, he is saying itisbetter to have had slaves and lost them than never to have slaves at all, izzatright? Cuz, I ain’t getting out of dis here boat, capisce?

 
 

With a sack of bowling balls tied to his leg.

I say tie a sack of bowling legs to…

 
 

Woman On Fire

And still these chains she won’t forsake
And still these chains she will embrace

We’ll see, won’t we? I mean, how deep does loyalty run when peering out from behind bars, or the prospect of bars. Surely she has made bail by now, or should that be baol, since jail is gaol, wouldn’t you think?

 
food pron obsessed Emperor of Portland, Pupienus
 
 

They had little interest in direct involvement by the white rabble…

The white rabble was already directly involved. By the mid-18th century, even before the revolutionary era, about 75% of adult white males could vote for representatives to colonial assemblies. That was far more than almost anywhere else on the planet at the time.

 
 

So, he is saying it isbetter to have had slaves and lost them than never to have slaves at all, izzatright?

I think so, ’cause, like, you need them to get things started. Keynesian pump priming, y’know. Then you drown ’em in a swamprepatriate them, after a few hundred yrs. of ensuring (someone’s) prosperity.

 
 

mmy @17:44

It’s so cute when they try and make their screams of desperate denial sound all dignified and “fight the power”y.

I mean, what he’s basically whining about is that teachers are acknowledging the good and “bad” of people. The Founding Fathers don’t get white-washed because they were “great men” and so their history with slavery, abuse, and rape is recorded along with their great deeds. Similarly, we have to accept that gay people existed in history and that they were among the great people even though they were filthy dirty homos who the conservatives want to be forgotten or taught as demon-possessed evildoers attacking our nation’s moral strength.

They basically want our schools to be forced to teach an ahistorical fantasy book so that these fuckers can stick their fingers in their ears and pretend that history is a chain of good and evil that personally supports their prejudices and bigotry.

And they act like this is some principled stand against some “revisionist” history because it wouldn’t be a conservative argument if it didn’t contain a metric buttload of projection.

 
 

Funniest, saddest thing ever?

Obviously they never check sources or read beyond the first sentence before their heads explode. Sally Kern’s a real winner.

 
 

Funniest, saddest thing ever?

A little of both I think. It took me a minute but the payoff was Lulz…Thanks!
.

 
 

…a metric buttload of projection.

I think you are on to something with this phrasing.

Smile I did when I read that.

.

 
 

Didn’t Jefferson Airplane do “White Rabble”?

 
 

Didn’t Jefferson Airplane do “White Rabble”?

No, it was either the Pork Dukes or George III. Or George III with the Pork Dukes.

 
 

Y’know the last refuge of a scoundrel, is the comment section of a Ni{Clang}-Loving Lieberal comedy blog.

I embrace the refuge, for I am Scoundrel, Destroyer of fee fees!

.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Didn’t Jefferson Airplane do “White Rabble”?

One pill makes you turgid
And one pill makes deaf.
But the one’s that Cato gives you, won’t help you beat the Lef’.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Uh, that should read “makes you deaf”.

 
 

No, it was either the Pork Dukes or George III. Or George III with the Pork Dukes.

R U sure it wasn’t the Black Helicopter Pilots?

Or was it an outfit out of Pidgin GeorgePigeon Forge?

.

 
 

B64: BRILLIANT

 
 

OMG the Pork Dukes!!

Haven’t thought about them in 30 years.

Was totally cool with it, too.

 
 

Mama, put my guns in the ground,” they sang to a smattering of boos from the crowd of Scandinavian skinheads and other far-right music aficionados. “I can’t use them anymore.”

I must raise my lighter.
~

 
 

I like that Prussian Blue’s sister is named “Dresden.”

And how sad that the kids must be told who wrote “Knockin’.”

 
 

Teh Freepers wept.

Wow. Funniest saddest part 2.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Holy crap, jim! Money quote:

I mean, yeah, Hitler wasn’t the best, but Stalin wasn’t, Churchill wasn’t.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

And how sad that the kids must be told who wrote “Knockin’.”

Mama, didn’t dig no Jews,
She never told us bout the “Zim”.
Never showed a picture of that Jewfro’d guy.
That’s why we never heard of him.

Na-na-nazi moms are a bore.
Na-na-nazi moms are a bore.

 
 

We spent most of our days up on the hill playing with our goats.

I knew there was some Mickey Kaus involvement in this shit.

 
Spearhafoc, who loves ya, baby
 

The article doesn’t say who done sprung her, but I suspect that it was a dapper Canadian with five billion hats.

Nope, I have an alibi. I was at a really weird musical at the Toronto Fringe Festival.

Or were you talking about DKW?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Or were you talking about DKW?

He does have a thing for redheads.

 
 

The article doesn’t say who done sprung her, but I suspect that it was a dapper Canadian with five billion hats.

I don’t believe Mister Substance (IF that is his real name!) has that many hats.
~

 
 

I don’t believe Mister Substance (IF that is his real name!) has that many hats.

Horns interfere with hat wearing, especially stetsons, sombreros, and samurai helmets.

 
 

Those of you fantasising about a night of unbridled passion with out favorite redhead need to recall that like all redheads, she has a violent streak!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2005/nov/03/sun.pressandpublishing

and this was against one of our loveable hardmen

 
 

Wow! Lobbey bringz the lulz…………….

Rebekah Wade, editor of the Sun, has been arrested for an alleged assault on her husband……………..Ms Wade made history in 2003 by becoming the first female editor of the Sun- and has used the paper to campaign against domestic violence.

But wait, there’s more!!

her tenure was characterised by the “naming and shaming” of known paedophiles………It was only after attacks on innocent men wrongly targeted as paedophiles by vigilantes, the vilification of paediatricians mistaken for child-abusers, and riots in Portsmouth that Ms Wade reluctantly ended the campaign.

Ya can’t make this stuff up, folks……………………..

 
 

But the problem is in the lack of outrage at the decision that the “founding fathers” made, as if they are immune from any moral condemnation from our modern minds.

Because the Founding Fathers are gods. Almost literally. And gods are beyond questioning. Hence the constant rewriting of history to make them conform to modern worldviews, so that we can keep claiming we were always at war with Eastasia. God forbid we simply break down and admit that they were just people, and that maybe it’s okay that the country’s changed a little since the days when leeching was considered surgery and “tolerance” meant you wanted to ship people back to Africa at gunpoint instead of owning them as property.

By the way, you like how Mel Gibson in The Patriot just happened to be the only big plantation owner in South Carolina who didn’t own slaves? Yeah, that. Even Mel Gibson thought it was a cop-out, but that’s more or less the Revolution as America in the year 2000 remembers it.

 
 

If Rupert Murdoch hadn’t been born…

 
 

BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN
Why American men should boycott American women

http://boycottamericanwomen.blogspot.com

I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN!

Are you a man who is interested in marrying indian women? Please visit Indian-Wife.com, India’s 1st International Marriage Site:

http://www.indian-wife.com

 
 

Ya can’t make this stuff up, folks……………………..

she really is a nasty piece of work all round, and I think I speak for all guardian reading, left wing, abortion loving pro Shania law persons, when I say I hope she spends a lot of time helping the police with their enquiries!

(The ‘Megans Law’ campaign was particularly odious, naming and shaming of the wrong people, wrong addresses, and as the article said, even paediatricians got the shit kicked out of them on occasion. I don’t remember an apology).

 
 

Why American men should boycott American women

perhaps its cause your such a douchbag John…..

 
 

since everyone’s gone to bed, I though I would see if John Rambo’s mangoes are tasty….

Why American men should boycott American women

oh my goodness, would it surprise you that the Mangoes are very rotten indeed, random musing from Kevin in New York (who has obviously never got laid by someone with English as their first language):

“I think American women started going downhill after the mid-80s. Before that, they were okay. Maybe it has something to do with the rebellious pop culture that evolved during that time (I don’t know for sure), but the end result of what they have become is despicable. And now karmic law has kicked in and they are paying the price for what they have become. What’s so ironic is that so many of them have the nerve to bitch and complain when us guys go after prettier, better women. Go figure. American women can have all the “rights” in the world and it isn’t going to help them find a good guy. You American woman are hard to sell because you are low quality and over-priced. Many foreign women are high quality and much cheaper. I think you get my point. ”

sorry, needed to quote that in full. I think the shorter of that is:

“I cant get laid with an American girl because they scare me, so I shag Thai hookers, which is cheaper”

 
 

Yeah, I’m having a hard time discerning why this is even a shorter.

This does seem to me to be one of the saner things ever printed in the WSJ.

 
 

Maybe it has something to do with the rebellious pop culture that evolved during that time

It’s Cyndi Lauper Madonna’s fault.

 
 

Worthwhile PJM mango. The article is about the pros and cons of running Romney to appeal to independents (answer’s “no,” according to the comments section, because all the independents PJM readers know are True Conservatives who want something to the right of the GOP).

In it, the author mentions that “true conservative” is a bit of an inexact definition; “For example, could President Ronald Reagan, who granted amnesty to three million illegal aliens in 1986, even win his party’s nomination in 2012?”

Answer: “Of course he could. The Ronald Reagan who would be here in 2012 would not have made that mistake. As it is the Ronald Reagan I hope appears for 2012 will have learned from that mistake and will be someone who will credibly claim to never make such a mistake in the future.”

Like the Founding Fathers, the Reagan of their idealized memories exists to be reset again and again to make him conform to the True Conservative Principles of the year.

 
bbkf, who is Sister Cat-o-nine-tails of Appreciative Joy
 

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste.

these are bad things? huh…i thought that was what attracted teh hubby to me in the first place…

 
bbkf, who is Sister Cat-o-nine-tails of Appreciative Joy
 

i guess obama better just stfu about everything

 
bbkf, who is Sister Cat-o-nine-tails of Appreciative Joy
 

which brings to mind: this

 
 

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste.

Who shipped me back to Cairo and didn’t tell me about it?

Or is this Riyadh?

And why are the Muslim Brothers driving pickup trucks with Palin stickers?

 
Spearhafoc, who loves ya, baby
 

BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN

I’d have to boycott Christina Hendricks. That ain’t happening, pal.

 
 

I like that Prussian Blue’s sister is named “Dresden.”

I believe we found the space/time coordinate where Irony was shot in the head and left by the roadside to shuffle off her mortal coil.

JFCPACC*

*(JesuFCristoPushingACheeseburgerCart)

.

 
 

So Prussian Blue got Dixie Chicked by the White Power Movement.

Sweet!!!

Seem like some decent young adults now.

I forgot that Dylan was a Jew, tho I don’t base my life on hating everything good that a representative of a particular race has accomplished. Imagine trying to hate on Marvin
Gaye or Stevie Wonder simply ’cause of their Blackety Black Blackness…Boggles this mind.
.

 
 

I don’t believe Mister Substance (IF that is his real name!) has that many hats.

That dovetails nicely with my thesis that if given a contiguous geographic area to inhabit, it would only take a couple decades for the wingbottim to snuff themselves out in a contest to determine who is the purest of the pure.

Popcorn anyone

re-link to the substance piece that ITTDGY dropped a bit ago…
.

 
 

Must be a new sheet or owl or something.
.

 
 

Geez, busy week-end youse guys. Glad for nu thread so I can get a fresh start – but before I do I have to say this:

Cerberus said,
July 17, 2011 at 19:14

+1

 
Lurking Canadian
 

I know this thread is dead, but I am compelled to express my utter shock that the Wall Street Journal published an article that, even in passing, expressed support for the idea that governments should levy taxes to raise revenue for payment of obligations. That is just surreal.

 
 

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