Die Verwandlung

Above: Donald Douglas


It’s amazing what you can learn on the Internet. You can learn that oreo cookie crumbs are a powerful aphrodisiac and a potent laxative and, apparently, you can also learn that I, Tintin, am really Carl Salonen. This amazing revelation is being bandied about by none other than the dim-witted Donald Douglas, who learned this from our favorite transvestite Amy Arnold Alkon, who revealed my, ahem, identity during an interview with Instahayseed’s Wife, Dr. Helen, which was posted on media powerhouse Pajamas Media TV. With so many high-powered wingnuts and delusionists involved in this stunning revelation, how could it be wrong? How could I, of all people, have lived for these last 34 years without realizing that I was, all along, someone else other than the person I thought I was? The saddest ravage inflicted by the disease of liberalism on its victims is, apparently, an inability to read their own drivers licenses and to think, therefore, that they are someone else entirely.

Now as you can see, the nutty perfesser, who thinks he’s stumbled upon some kind of holy grail, is intent upon not squandering it in the same way he has squandered the rest of his unremarkable life as a run-down unpublished professor and third-rate blogger, so he’s threatening more: law suits, photographs, party hats, jello shots and his own favorite herbal viagra. This should be fun. Stay tuned.

Also joining in the fun is the dull knife who blogs, oxymoronically, as ser8ted, or serr8tted, or s3rrat3d, or some such l337 nym. He apparently thinks that Carl Salonen is really Jonah Goldberg or something.

One last note: you have to “register” to view the Mrs. Dr Instahick video featuring Amy Arnold Alkon revealing my top-secret but really and actually true forever identity. Perhaps an enterprising Sadly, Naut! could register and share the login with everyone. I, for one, would love to see the entire video.

UPDATED: L337 blogger s3r88tard, or however the fuck she spells her fiendishly clever nym, brings the unintentional funny to an update where she accuses me of cowardice for, get this, anonymous blogging. Well, call me a coward, if you will, surr877ed, but at least I’m smart enough to realize that I am blogging anonymously.

 

Comments: 340

 
 
 

there’s still a pajamas media?

 
 

Do you mean like sadlyno@gmail.com and pjtvpass? Or something else?

 
 

(And maybe I’m slow on the uptake here,

No maybe about it, Donnie.

but there’s no way a Belgian blogger would have that degree of U.S. knowledge and American parochialism, so again, this PJTV clip has been quite a revelation.)

Because everybody is as fucking pig-ignorant as someone who teaches political science, without managing to understand the terms “nihilism” or “socialism.”

 
 

On the way to registering I spotted the video’s title:

Pathological Altruism: Does Evil Wear a Politically Correct Mask?

Now I’m not so sure about registering, but I’m already on their e-mail list, so there’s not much more to lose.

Here (no guarantee it will work, mind you): http://www.pjtv.com/?cmd=mpg&mpid=109&load=5306

 
 

Have we found the true identity of The Artist Formerly Known As The Truth? Bookmark this and address my post.

 
 

Oh, great. Now I’m on their list.

(Refresh oftener.)

 
 

Does this link show the whole thing?

GotDAMN that Arnold shore is UGLAY

 
 

I’m SLOOOOOW.

 
 

Dearest wingnuts:

Who cares? Really?

 
 

Which Carl Salonen are they talking about, cuz the google ain’t helping?

 
 

Also joining in the fun is the dull knife who blogs, oxymoronically, as ser8ted, or serr8tted, or s3rrat3d, or some such l33t nym. He apparently thinks that Carl Salonen is really Jonah Goldberg or something.

I went to this link and am proud to report that I have not the slightest fucking clue what this pooplicker is trying to say here. Unintelligible rantings.

 
 

The fun from Amy starts at (5:30).

 
 

Huh. What brings Amy Alkon out from beheind the safety of her shitmoat? is she pimping a new book?

 
Gary Ruppert, Secret Mastermind Behind Sadly, No
 

Relying on Amy Alkon to identify people could not possibly go wrong. Occam’s Razor tells us that it is far more likely that Tintin would lie about his age and continent of residence consistently over a period of many years, rather than assume that Amy Alkon, who I have personally spoken with on several occasions, would make shit up. Clearly, if Obama’s parents knew enough to plan an alternate birthplace back in 1961, Tintin would be equally able to plan for this contingency and pretend to be a thirty-something Belgian rather than a fifty-something New Yorker.

Yep, makes sense here in the Heartland.

 
 

GotDAMN that Arnold shore is UGLAY

I know! And I’ve got a “thing” for redheads.

Which is now blunted.

Fortunately, I’ve got 3 days of drinking ahead of me*, so hopefully it’ll get washed away and I can return to “normal”.

*Coincident with a 20-year anniversary & reunion for college radio station I helped start

 
 

We are delighted to have you as a registered member of PJTV. You have made a great choice. Here’s how Mark Tapscott, editorial page editor of The Washington Examiner, describes our programming:

“PJTV, quite simply, is the most important video news media operation on the Right side of the Internet, or for that matter anywhere on the Internet.”
Please save the following information for your records:
Username: FAT
Password: CHANCE

Please watch our many different programs. And if you like what you see, click on “Subscribe” at the top of our home page, and select the membership package that’s right for you.

Enjoy watching PJTV!

PJTV Support

 
 

Which Carl Salonen are they talking about, cuz the google ain’t helping?

He has a LinkedIn profile. Search there.

 
 

Oh, the dull knife. I’m acquainted with that fellow at BagNewsNotes. What a chump

 
Coach Urban Meyer
 

Heh indeedy 4 sheedy loony libs! Wuzza-wuzzup? Looks like Rockin’ Reynolds, the Perfessor of Cool, and his fine-ass wife have taken you clowns downtown, if you know what Da Cool Coach is rappin’ at ya! The funky fact of the matter is, Tintin is DimDim! Dude got up and told by the ConservoMentumosphere and the lovely Amy Alkon! Turns out he’s just some loony lib loser like the rest of you dopey Dumbocraps! Badoodle-boo-yeah!

Ya hear that, chumpus dumpuses? That’s the SPREAD of TRUTH coming right to your door, straight from Da Cool Coach himself! Urban out.

 
 

PJTV, quite simply, is the most important video news media operation on the Right side of the Internet

At what point did Pajamas Media drop all pretense that it was remotely centrist/independent/etc.?

 
 

So, is the Donalde around? How’s that plague of rabbits going this spring at Long Beach City College, Donalde? Still having problems?

 
 

Bugfuck right is the new centrist.

 
 

I’m shocked that a blogger with a pseudonym has a real name that nobody has ever heard of. This is the news story of the year!

 
 

I commented on this in the prior thread but WP eated it … about eight times.

Someone whose synapses actually do something to earn their keep might’ve noticed that Tintin didn’t spike Donalde’s devastating ambush in said prior thread, & subsequently put one plus one together to equal EVERYONE PLEASE STFU & LET’S ALL JUST PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED. Surely the instant & enthusiastic cheerleading of a known dolt like “serr8ed” would ring that Clue-Bell, if nothing else would?

I await with baited breath his brutal wit & rock-solid proof pwning Tintin in this thread. Or not. Yeah, gonna go with “not” here.

OT: What is it with kids these days?!? Tsk tsk!

 
 

I dunno what’s going on or why it matters, but Robert Stacy McCain is on the case, which seems odd.

http://theothermccain.com/2011/04/26/carl-salonen-the-left-wing-trolls-who-smeared-advice-goddess-amy-alkon/

He goes on about Herbert Marcuse for awhile, then:

“That the Left’s cultural ambitions now extend so far that Carl Salonen and his merry band of online character assassins would attempt the destruction of Amy Alkon — a mere syndicated advice columnist, who writes about etiquette and relationships, etc. — demonstrates the enduring totalitarian spirit of the Left.

You had better speak out against the Left’s thuggery now, because if hatemongers like Carl Salonen and Loretta Serrano ever get their way, you won’t be able to speak out in the future.”

And here I thought Sadly, No! was about making fun of easy targets, and socializing. (Sorry if that characterization is insufficient.) It turns out that assassinating a person’s character prevents them from speaking out. That’s almost as bad as killing ’em totalitarian-style!

 
Carlos Salonenínez
 

Ya valio madre…

 
 

At what point did Pajamas Media drop all pretense that it was remotely centrist/independent/etc.?

Wasn’t aware that they’d ever pretended to be.

What I do love is their guidelines for commenters. Here’s what it used to look like (the bolded part has since disappeared):

Pajamas Media appreciates your comments that abide by the following guidelines:

1. Avoid profanities or foul language unless it is contained in a necessary quote or is relevant to the comment.

2. Stay on topic.

3. Disagree, but avoid ad hominem attacks.

4. Threats are treated seriously and reported to law enforcement.

5. Spam and advertising are not permitted in the comments area.

The clause regarding “hate speech” has been deleted because readers criticized it as being too loosely defined. We agreed.

These guidelines are very general and cannot cover every possible situation. Please don’t assume that Pajamas Media management agrees with or otherwise endorses any particular comment. We reserve the right to filter or delete comments or to deny posting privileges entirely at our discretion. If you feel your comment was filtered inappropriately, please email us at story@pajamasmedia.com.

Loosely translated, that “hate speech” clause means that their comments sections were saturated with racist comments against anything that smelled Middle Eastern, Hispanic, or w/ev, to the point that it was ridiculous to even pretend they were enforcing it.

 
 

And here I thought Sadly, No! was about making fun of easy targets, and socializing. (Sorry if that characterization is insufficient.) It turns out that assassinating a person’s character prevents them from speaking out. That’s almost as bad as killing ‘em totalitarian-style!

SERIOUSLY. Talk about thin skin.

 
 

Wasn’t aware that they’d ever pretended to be.

Thought they did back in the beginning. I mean, the Ole Perfessor still tosses out the Ole Chestnut that he’s a quirky independent libertarian or whatever every once in a while.

Didn’t David Corn used to be a part of PJM?

 
 

Does reading a satire blog automatically get me into the Thug Army, or is there further training?

 
 

I believe that ser8ted – or whatever – has trolled this very blog in the past. If I remember right, he has a problem with women-folk.

 
 

Saying You had better speak out against the Left’s thuggery now, because if hatemongers like Carl Salonen and Loretta Serrano ever get their way, you won’t be able to speak out in the future is dandy-fine, but saying, “You had better speak out against the Right’s thuggery now, because if hatemongers like Amy Alkon, Donald Douglas, and Robert Stacy McCain ever get their way, you won’t be able to speak out in the future” would be attempted destruction by an online character assassin. Anyway, Operation Enduring Totalitarian Spirit is GO.

 
 

“Interestingly, notice how Barbara Oakley doesn’t hesitate to place these fuckers [Sadlynauts] in the historic pantheon of history’s most diabolical killers. ”

I think this is meant as a good thing about this Barbara Oakley. Sadlynauts are psychologically indistinguishable from monsters, or something. Fascinating.

I felt nutty this morning, as noted above, but now I feel healthy as a nut.

 
 

Didn’t David Corn used to be a part of PJM?

Never heard of him.

Did a Google search: the first result was a post from a Marc Cooper blog post (never heard of him either) that said

Problem is, Pajamas never did find any reasonable equilibrium or credibility. For a brief moment in 2006, it looked like we were going to be able to reach an agreement that Pajamas would become a place that would lure and promote those on the right an left seeking common ground, or attempting to transcend rigid dogmas.

That moment lasted all about two weeks. Just as we were about to formally launch such a notion (we even recorded a never-posted podcast annoucing the shift in direction away from being a pure right-wing site, there was a pull back by Simon and, apparently, his funder. And since then, the place has continuously drifted (or better, steamed, deeper and deeper into the Fringe Right. I mean, take a gander at this nutjob piece! After I gave up on PJM, David Corn hung in there for a stretch longer but eventually left. After David left, the only left of center presence they had was our friend, Bill Bradley of newwestnotes.com . But he couldn’t put up with the craziness either (having Michael Ledeen’s stuff headlined on your blog sidebar ain’t that much fun). And then Bill also left PJM and went independent.

There’s one guy left named Ruben Navarette, who as far as I can tell is a wingnut on most things except immigration, which he constantly phrases in conservative yet pro-Hispanic (or at least not anti) terms. The man is reviled and blasted as a socialist plant, and as far as I can tell, they only keep him around for Two Minute Hate purposes.

The post also mentions Charles Johnson of LGF, who was a co-founder of PJM originally before his conversion, and Roger Simon marginalized him because he was afraid he’d “discredit” PJM. (Presumably, he was worried that his views other than Islamophobia wouldn’t be in line with the GOP goose-step).

 
 

Thought they did back in the beginning. I mean, the Ole Perfessor still tosses out the Ole Chestnut that he’s a quirky independent libertarian or whatever every once in a while.

I think he outed himself as a Republican-not-libertarian a few years ago.

Hey, remember how Amy Alkon carries a big fucking sausage with her because there’s no meat in downtown Toronto?

 
 

the Left attempted to destroy Alkon’s career as a journalist, by posting defamatory fallacious Amazon “reviews” of her book I See Rude People.

See Amy at (12:00) in the video: “People who buy eco-products (HIPPIES!) feel much more comfortable lying, cheating & stealing. There was a study.” Defamatory & fallacious, you say? “Rude,” even?

 
 

I knew it. Tintin isn’t your real name. I have been saying that for the past two and a half years to everyone who will still listen to me (currently this is only one of my two cats but nevertheless)

I WIN! YOU LOSE YOU BIG LOSING POOPYHEADED LOSERS!
I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! IWIN! I WIN! I WIN!
I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! IWIN! I WIN! I WIN!
I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! IWIN! I WIN! I WIN!
I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! IWIN! I WIN! I WIN!
I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! IWIN! I WIN! I WIN!
I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! IWIN! I WIN! I WIN!
I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! IWIN! I WIN! I WIN!
I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! IWIN! I WIN! I WIN!
WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! IWIN! I WIN! I WIN!
I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! IWIN! I WIN! I WIN!
I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! IWIN! I WIN! I WIN!
I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! IWIN! I WIN! I WIN!
I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! IWIN! I WIN! I WIN!
I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! IWIN! I WIN! I WIN!
I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! IWIN! I WIN! I WIN!
I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! IWIN! I WIN! I WIN!

 
 

Also joining in the fun is the dull knife who blogs, oxymoronically, as ser8ted, or serr8tted, or s3rrat3d, or some such l33t nym.

g said,

May 11, 2011 at 22:19

Oh, the dull knife. I’m acquainted with that fellow at BagNewsNotes. What a chump.

That craphead showed up at my blog,

I delete his comments, because I don’t see any reason to leave that kind of stupid up.

Not when I have nice flowers and birdies and such as, instead.
~

 
 

Interestingly, notice how Barbara Oakley doesn’t hesitate to place these fuckers in the historic pantheon of history’s most diabolical killers.

Saying Amy Alkon looks like a dude = genocide? Tht like whay, calling a yam a sweet potato. What isn’t as bad as the holocaust now?

 
 

Gosh, I wish a New York-based thespian were around to help us sort this issue out.

I do.

 
 

“Sadlynauts are psychologically indistinguishable from monsters, or something. ”

Well there is a disproportionate percentage of zombies that post here as compared to the general population, I’ll give her that.

 
 

shoulda been “that’s like what…” sorry ’bout the typos

 
low sodium hunchback
 

Today, we are all Tintin confused about our identity.

 
 

“Interestingly, notice how Barbara Oakley doesn’t hesitate to place these fuckers [Sadlynauts] in the historic pantheon of history’s most diabolical killers. ”

I’ve killed more jokes than I care to admit, but I didn’t do it for SATAN.

 
 

From the McCain link comments (beyond parody)
http://theothermccain.com/2011/04/26/carl-salonen-the-left-wing-trolls-who-smeared-advice-goddess-amy-alkon/

The Culture of Niceness is nothing more than a front group for The Culture Of Death. Taking advantage of our humanity, the Left seeks to render us impotent, unable to mount a strong offense, forever on the defensive and cowering in our civility.

We need fighters – people willing to take the battle to the enemy relentlessly.

We will maintain our humanity, if we maintain our belief in The Golden Rule.

We’ve got to learn that right is on our side – that we possess a fuel that the Left does not: we are moral beings imbued with Right Reason. Some of us even have the added benefit of knowing that a Loving God is with us as we battle the Leftist Evil.

WOLVERINES!

 
 

The word “seething” seems to be part of this whole reaction from these people.

That makes me smile. They have been waiting, waiting, waiting for their opportunity.

Spag A’mighty, we annoy them beyond my wildest imaginings.

Big.

Fun.

 
 

I’ve had an exhausting work schedule and it’s really hot out but I’m considerably bucked by being one of history’s greatest monsters.

Marc Cooper and David Corn were both reporting at the Voice in the 80’s.

 
 

” mount a strong offense, forever on the defensive….
willing to take the battle to the enemy relentlessly.”

Is it HOT in here or is there a wingnut writing to Penthouse Forum?

 
 

We will maintain our humanity, if we maintain our belief in The Golden Rule.

“He who has the gold makes the rules.”

For how many years has this been the G.O.P.’s sole reason for existence?
~

 
 

In the manner of the great George W. Bush, I hereby declare Mission Accomplished.

P.S. Has anyone seen my cats?

 
 

Oh boy!!! Oh boy!!! Oh boy!!!
I post at Sadly, No! I must be in the historic pantheon too then! I can’t wait to update my resume. How impressive is that? Also, a note of disclosure: I am a 42 year old fountain pen repairman who lives in Bellefontaine Ohio and my name is Danny Steele.

 
 

In the manner of the great George W. Bush

What’s this?

You’re strutting around on a carrier right now, telling lies and wearing parachute straps that you are too stupid to operate?
~

 
Spearhafoc, who thinks Christina Hendricks' husband gives hope to us funny-looking guys everywhere
 

Sadlynauts are psychologically indistinguishable from monsters, or something.

Well, I am a cyborg-werewolf, but I’m new so I don’t think I should count.

 
low sodium hunchback
 

the historic pantheon

Not Thor again.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

From the last thread – Smut Clyde caused me to look up the word noncupatory. I have learned a new word. Sort of. I knew it as ‘nuncupative’, never ran across his variant.

 
 

Two girls, noncupatory?

 
 

OT: What is it with kids these days?!? Tsk tsk!

This is towering stack of win.

Thanks for sharing, jim. Things like this remind me that not everyone out there is fucking crazy.

 
 

I don’t know…I always sort of suspected that you were actually Esa Pekka Salonen. You always seemed more Finnish than French to me.

 
 

Wait a sec here. They think Tintin is a Belgian blogger?

Why am I not surprised that idiots think snark = persecution?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

“Gosh, I wish a New York-based thespian were around to help us sort this issue out.”

My thoughts exactly.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

“Wait a sec here. They think Tintin is a Belgian blogger?”

I have it on the most excellent authority at Tintin is French or FAG or BOTH!

 
Spearhafoc, who thinks Christina Hendricks' husband gives hope to us funny-looking guys everywhere
 

Why am I not surprised that idiots think snark = persecution?

Comedy is theft!

 
 

My thoughts exactly.

Now, I am working off a number of assumptions here, but I think larger laughter may be ahead, no?

 
 

There once was a Flemish blogger…
~

 
low sodium hunchback
 

known for flaunting his roger.

 
 

To go with a found bag of phail…

 
 

But settled, instead, for a lager.

 
 

I WIN! YOU LOSE YOU BIG LOSING POOPYHEADED LOSERS!/i

Needs moar BWAHAHAHA!!!! Without the BWAHAHAHA!!!, you just don’t capture the Machiavellian elan and abhorrence of irrationalism in argument.

 
 

Crap, tag fail.

 
low sodium hunchback
 

There’s a ‘crap’ tag?

 
Spearhafoc, who thinks Christina Hendricks' husband gives hope to us funny-looking guys everywhere
 

There’s a ‘crap’ tag?

<Donalde>Yes.</Donalde>

 
low sodium hunchback
 

Anything inside the tag fails?

 
 

Quote from Teh Donalde, at s3r8dz bl0g: “I moderate comments primarily against your racist attacks, Reppy, but your stupid remark is beside the point.”

I believe this is the second time Donalde has said that he moderates the comments to his blog for content, before to allowing them to appear, even, just because of me… I don’t think I’m really all that scary a guy… Not even if I actually am “potentially even more dangerous than those hoisting banners on the street,” who’d “kill you if [I got] the chance.” (And I may be… I just may be…)

If that’s really true (and Donalde has at least twice said that it is), I think that’s kinda pathetically cowardly and sad… — repsac3 (“Reppy”)

 
 

I have it on good authority that tintin is the grandson of one of Hitler’s mistresses, who was related to Stalin. She pal’d around with Pol Pot before giving birth to tintin’s mother.

He has plans for world domination and such.

 
 

but there’s no way a Belgian blogger would have that degree of U.S. knowledge and American parochialism

On the Web no-one knows that you’re really Tintin’s little dog Snowy.

 
 

Why am I not surprised that idiots think snark = persecution?

Also, Alinsky!!! and “Rules for Radicals”!!!
Because no-one before that had ever suggested that people might resort to ridiculing their opponents to make up for the power possessed by the latter.

 
 

you were actually Esa Pekka Salonen

How quickly we forget: Something about Salonen was reminding me of someone, but I just couldn’t place it.

 
 

Smut Clyde caused me to look up the word noncupatory. I have learned a new word. Sort of. I knew it as ‘nuncupative’, never ran across his variant.

PM is unacquainted with Jack Vance. SCORN HIM.

 
 

attempt the destruction of Amy Alkon

Oh come on. I don’t think ANYBODY here wants to destroy Arnold.

Such a great source of lulz.

 
 

A decade here, a decade there, what does it matter?

 
Smut Clyde who is photophobic and chronically anaemic but NOT A MONSTER
 

you always seemed more Finnish than French to me.
Esa Pekka Salonen is Gavin M.‘s real name.

 
 

If you downvoted AA’s table-leg-adjuster, you’re worse than a thousand Mecha-HITLERs, but if she posts your IP, it’s just to teach you some manners. An advice columnist with blatant anger-management issues & paper-thin skin? Find another line of work before you inadvertantly kill someone – if you haven’t done so already.

that mob site

I HAZ A POSSE.

Sadlynauts are psychologically indistinguishable from monsters

Dibs on being Dracula! Goodness knows I’ve got the hours down pat by now.

Shitmoats = liberty, POOP jokes = fascism?
Whoa. Guess we know who’s REALLY doing all the heavy drugs these days.

 
 

I thought tintin was the bastard step-grandchild of Hercule Perot and Ms. Marple.

 
Galactic Dustbin
 

I only post occasionally, do I get to be in this historic pantheon too? No?

Could I at least be the obscure member that disaffected youth in the future will say is the only ‘authentic one’ because I didn’t ‘sell out’ ?

Please?

 
 

that mob site

wait, S,N has been upgraded to a mob now?

Remember when it was ALL. ONE. GUY.?

Sadlynauts are psychologically indistinguishable from monsters

“Psychologically”? Sigh. I try so hard, and can’t get beyond psychologically indistinguishable from monsters.

 
 

Is there a “monster” category in psychology that can be distinguished?

 
 

just scrolled down the serreightededge blog (first, love the rules for posting a comment…wow) but the chelsea clinton as sexy cabaret singer makes me wonder what it all means? along the lines of the hokey pokey….what if that is what it’s all about?

 
 

Smut Clyde who is photophobic and chronically anaemic but NOT A MONSTER

Opinions differ.

 
 

Galactic Dustbin said,

May 12, 2011 at 0:49

I only post occasionally, do I get to be in this historic pantheon too? No?

Could I at least be the obscure member that disaffected youth in the future will say is the only ‘authentic one’ because I didn’t ‘sell out’ ?

Please?

Seems fair to me…

Only if Yoda I get to be. Yes, hmmm.
~

 
 

Sadlynauts are psychologically indistinguishable from monsters

Yep. It is true. I spread my evil through my legions of monsters and demons. Nihilist monsters.

 
 

The phrase “psychologically indistinguishable from monsters” is mine, so don’t play with it too much.

“historic pantheon of history’s most diabolical killers” is what I was paraphrasing, and it’s a bit stronger, I dare say.

 
 

Two Possible Situations:

1.) Tintin is Captain New-York, just as they say.
We all ignore this and mock them for believing such foolishness.

Rating: I’m down with it.

2.) Tintin is not Captain New-York

We still all ignore and mock them… but,
Some poor man in New York is getting gang-Googled by the shallow end of the gene pool.

Rating: This isn’t such a happy outcome.

I just hope none of these fools does anything particularly ‘clever’…

 
 

Let’s all pretend I said something funny about being a monster. Lets pretend I worked in something about slaying appliances. And then everyone LAUGHED and LAUGHED.

 
 

So who’s Carl Salonen? Is he just some random guy who’s now getting death threats from deranged rightwingers?

 
El Manquécito
 

Maybe on the tin can and knotted string telephone that Donalde and Arnold use ‘Kurd Saladin’ got transmogrified into ‘Carl Salonen’ while they were discussing history’s greatest monsters. That might amuse a dramatic manhattanite.

 
 

I am not a monster! I am a man Sadlynaut!

 
 

And then everyone LAUGHED diabolically and LAUGHED diabolically.

Fissed in keeping with our status in the pantheon

 
 

So who’s Carl Salonen?

Scandinavia’s answer to John Galt. He left so thoroughly that he never existed.

 
 

We are not monsters. We’re moral people.

 
 

That might amuse a dramatic manhattanite.

OK, I finally placed the name. It makes it even funnier.

 
 

“And then everyone LAUGHED diabolically and LAUGHED diabolically”

Some of you stroked a white cat…or tented your fingers like Monty Burns!

 
El Manquécito
 

Re: Pantheon

Can I be someone besides Prometheus this time? My liver has it tough enough as it is.

 
 

We’re moral people.

…and don’t just talk about it, which scares teh bejabbers out of wingnuts.

 
Lurking Canadian
 

I am SpartacusSalonen!

 
 

I am Salonen, and so is my wife!

 
El Manquécito
 

It makes it even funnier.

It’s enough to make a zombie laugh.

 
Lurking Canadian
 

Addendum to zrm’s point: most of us think it’s OK for boys to kiss other boys. That makes us not moral people, if you are a wingnut.

 
 

Didn’t Salonen originate the dance of the seven veils?

 
 

… and also redundant (historic/history’s), something Donald Douglas would fix if he were me and I were blogging about important stuff like the slippery slope from snark to diabolism and killishness.

Oops, there I go again making more sense of these folks than they can do themselves. When I wrote “psychologically indistinguishable from monsters,” I was doing Donald a favor, since the quote he approves of places Sadlynauts IN the pantheon of diabolic killers, full stop. There is no slippery slope, no “they think like monstrous killers.” We’re in the pantheon.

 
 

Pantheon

Godling-come-latelies, the lot of you.

 
 

It makes it even funnier.

I don’t understand. I feel left behind.

Simply.

 
El Manquécito
 

I don’t understand. I feel left behind.

That’s OK buddy, it’s a big pantheon.

 
 

According to Malaclypse the Elder himself, he is a 4th century B.C. Erisian priest.

Noob.
~

 
 

Looch, I don’t wanna out anybody, otherwise I’d tell you.

 
 

tenting my fingers

Yes. Popcorn, too.

 
 

Thanks, VS.

Tons.

 
 

Looch, I don’t wanna out anybody, otherwise I’d tell you.

Ok, laughing at vs now.

 
 

Noob.

Those guys are jerks. Cthulhu smells something awful, and Nyarlathotep always leave a swarm of nasty, stingy bugs wherever it goes. I, on the other hand, rolled the Apple of Discord into a room containing tsam, vacuumslayer, and Donalde’s mom. Hilarity ensued.

 
 

, I don’t wanna out anybody, otherwise I’d tell you.

How do you know he’s an outie and not an innie? HMMMMMMMM?

 
 

We are not monsters. We’re moral people.
…and don’t just talk about it

Singing about it is OK, however.

 
 

FINALLY Thread Bear admits he’s a furry.

 
 

“Singing about it is OK, however.”

“Riddled on Ice”!!!!!

 
 

FINALLY Thread Bear admits he’s a furry.

Yeah, bit I’m in the PANTHEON of furries!

…Hey wiat, I mean…um..

 
The Dark Avenger
 

“We are the Pantheon, my friends,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,”

Carl Salonen and his merry band of online character assassins

who know all the tricks: dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and… satire.

We are vicious!

 
 

“How do you know he’s an outie and not an innie? HMMMMMMMM?”

He never mentioned anything about being a shut-in.

 
 

He never mentioned anything about being a shut-in.

Maybe you couldn’t hear the screaming past the terrycloth and tinfoil.

 
 

tigris said,

May 12, 2011 at 1:37

Yearbook picture

Are you the handy lady (Holy Tooltime, Batman!), or the beast furry of burden?
~

 
El Manquécito
 

merry band of online character assassins

When one is committing seppuku it is bad form to accuse others of assassination.

 
 

We are the Pantheon – my fiends
And we’ll keep on snarking – till the end
We are the Pantheon
We are the Pantheon
No time for poopyheaded losers
‘Cause we are the Pantheon – of the blog world

 
Spearhafoc, who thinks Christina Hendricks' husband gives hope to us funny-looking guys everywhere
 

Is this “pantheon” thing going to be another Sadly, No! meme?

MEME ISREAL!

 
Spearhafoc, who thinks Christina Hendricks' husband gives hope to us funny-looking guys everywhere
 

Bookmark it!

Also, too.

 
 

BOTH, I’m bi-textural.

Also, if loving hot, lavender-scented bathos makes me an assassin then SO BE IT.

 
 

I spread my evil through my legions of monsters and demons. Nihilist monsters.

Hey, now, some of those demonic monsters are mine. You can tell which because they the communistical ones. All us dark lords get our own cadres.

 
 

“merry”

This is over the line. I’ve never been merry in my life.

 
 

I bet you are saying you’re not Carl Salonen just to throw them off the scent of your real identity: some other guy

 
 

communistical

Gah. You didn’t help me explain base and superstructure to Brad, even when I asked nicely.

 
 

We are not monsters. We’re moral people.
…and don’t just talk about it

Singing about it is OK, however.

good place for a “Career Of Evil” ref….

 
 

You didn’t help me explain base and superstructure to Brad, even when I asked nicely.

I was busy. It’s finals week, I am graduating my first Ph.D. (the third in the department), and on half the freaking MA thesis committees this semester. Also, I learned long ago not to argue with walls. There are some things that Brad resolutely refuses to understand (like the fundamental nature of markets and their dependence on government regulation).

 
 

I am graduating my first Ph.D. (the third in the department)

Very cool. More fun than base/superstructure, to be sure. But I felt bad, because he was actually willing to engage, and I have not given a Marx lecture in 15 years.

 
 

These guys will be struck down by “pathological altruism” right after they fall prey to obsessive exercise and a psychotically healthy diet.

 
 

because he was actually willing to engage,

Holy fuck! Brad was willing to engage on Marx’s formulation of material causality?

 
 

Salonen has become Gregor. The metamorphosis is complete.

Long live Tintin.

 
 

…a psychotically healthy diet.

Broccoli: the root of all evil? (So to speak.)

P.S. Now I’m thinking about what the most evil root is. Perhaps the rutabaga?
~

 
 

When I told her about the fRight Wi[n]g accusing the Sadlies of nefariousness, the missus shook her head in sorrow, commenting, “The thicker the logic, the thinner the skin.”

I, for one, welcome our new fatally snarktastic overlords, who are, as it happens, the same as the old fatally snarktastic overlords. Whew! I don’t even have to get new logo t-shirts or nothin’!

 
 

tenting my fingers

I think I’m tenting my pantheon… diabolically tenting my pantheon, in fact.

“Exxxcellent”

 
 

Brad was willing to engage on Marx’s formulation of material causality?

Yes. He’s got a completely garbled view of economic history, but we actually had a conversation about the means of production determining the relations of production, and how his preference for petty-bourgeois economic production was historically associated with unfreedom in most places, and freedom for a few in England/America, and that this was why people kept referring to his system as the Shire.

I don’t think it got through, and I don’t think I summarized Marx at all well. Personally, I felt bad on how much I can’t simply do extemporaneously any more.

But Brad feels that material production is epiphenomenal to politics, which makes my head explode.

 
 

The real question is: What about Tintin’s countertops?

 
 

Feeling your left behind;
tenting my trousers.

 
low sodium hunchback
 

I’ve paid no dues –
Don’t know the time –
I’ve fixt your sentence
But committed no crime –
And bad penis jokes
I’ve made a few
I’ve had my share of poop kicked in my face –
But I’ve come through . Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(Thread Bear)

We are the Pantheon – my fiends
And we’ll keep on snarking – till the end
We are the Pantheon
We are the Pantheon
No time for poopyheaded losers
‘Cause we are the Pantheon – of the blog world

 
 

Now I’m thinking about what the most evil root is

duh. Root 13.

 
 

checking the countertops

 
 

Long live Tintin.

You mean “Carl.”

Yes, yes, you do.

Martini?

 
 

Now I’m thinking about what the most evil root is. Perhaps the rutabaga?

Celery root. You ever try chopping one of those motherfuckers? You need a hatchet. Or a guillotine.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

#

Smut Clyde said,

May 12, 2011 at 0:45 (kill)

Smut Clyde caused me to look up the word noncupatory. I have learned a new word. Sort of. I knew it as ‘nuncupative’, never ran across his variant.

PM is unacquainted with Jack Vance. SCORN HIM.

Bah! The concept is jejune!

 
 

FFS. Miami 97, Boston 87. LeBron James kept sandwiching Boston turnovers with buckets (he scored the last 10, i.e. winning, points).

 
 

Now I’m thinking about what the most evil root is. Perhaps the rutabaga?
Not actually a root. Rather, a thickened starch-rich stem.

Celery root.
Celeriac is the hypocotyl of the plant (neither root NOR stem).
[/pedant]

 
 

I clicked the link, something I very rarely do, and I was reminded why when I read the threatening little blog. I wonder what Mr. Carl Salonen will do when the shit-moat lady, or may all of them, sue him for slander or attempted destruction?

 
 

This reminds me of when TBogg got outed and the wingnuts thought they’d cracked the Voynich Cipher Manuscript. Mr. Boggioni yawned and went back to picking up basset poop.

Good times, good times.

 
 

HH, the wingnutteriera seem to think that if you use a nym on the intertrons, YOU MUST BE HIDING SOMETHING.

OK, I am hiding something . I AM NOT ACTUALLY A ZOMBIE.

 
Spearhafoc, who thinks Christina Hendricks' husband gives hope to us funny-looking guys everywhere
 

OK, I am hiding something . I AM NOT ACTUALLY A ZOMBIE.

Preposterous. I’ll assume this is some stupid attempt at humour, and ignore it.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

PM is unacquainted with Jack Vance.

That is true. I did however read some of his novels but I was … maybe 12 years old at the time so, 40+ years ago. I may have forgotten. Curiously, I was just recently thinking that I should read his canon.

Bah! The concept is jejune!

Just this afternoon as I was coming home I had the thought to use that word in here. Just popped into my head for no discernible reason.

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

 
 

Anonymous speech is free speech!

 
 

I am an American… but I’m not actually a nihilist. (Does that make me a fraud… or Freud, for that matter? DOES it matter? Does anything matter?)

((Shit, maybe I AM a nihilist… Never mind…))

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Most evil root: sassafras.

 
 

I AM NOT ACTUALLY A ZOMBIE.

You’re an UNanimated decaying corpse?

 
 

I AM NOT ACTUALLY A ZOMBIE.

I call double fake out!

Look at that shambling. You can’t fake that.

 
 

Well, Donald Douglas has presented his evidence that Carl Salonen = Tintin.

He interprets Malaclypse as confirming this equivalency: “You [Douglas] seem very proud that you have learned someone’s real name.”

I read that as nothing more than a dig at Donald for trying to out someone. Maybe I’m wrong; I know little about the people involved. Here’s hoping for fun.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

The “jejune” line is from The Eyes of the Overworld–I thought Smut might recognize it. I’m not really an evil, brain-sucking psychic vampire–much.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

The most evil root is mandrake, everybody knows that!

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

@ tigris:

Both caused serious mental indigestion—just 2000 years apart.

 
 

Hmm, time for bathos and then bedlam.

 
 

((Shit, maybe I AM a nihilist… Never mind…))

Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.

 
 

Look at that shambling. You can’t fake that.

It’s the Sailor Jerry’s. More of a stumbling, actually.

 
 

Man, I forgot all about Jack Vance. I could go for one of his books right about now.

He inspired the “Vancian” magic system in D&D, involving daily memorization of spells, as opposed to a point system or some other mechanism.

Normally I would keep this sorta stuff off Sadly, No! but there seem to be alot of gods, demigods, and monsters here today, so what the hell.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

“National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.”

More accurately hathos, perhaps.

 
 

Normally I would keep this sorta stuff off Sadly, No!

STAY ON TOPIC PLEASE.

 
 

More of a stumbling, actually.

Or lurching.

 
 

In other news, that story the other broad tells about Robert Conquest’s proposed retitling of “The Great Terror” is completely apocryphal, that is, not true, and made up by Conquest’s late pal Kingsley Amis.

 
 

More accurately hathos, perhaps.

Are you questioning Walter Sobchak, PM? Incidentally, Donald Douglas, I am NOT Walter Sobchack.

STAY ON TOPIC PLEASE.

hmmm. didn’t include a concealed goatse link. Substance is getting weak.

 
 

But Brad feels that material production is epiphenomenal to politics, which makes my head explode.

Most of what Brad believes makes my head explode, but he occupies an alternate universe with the fairies and unicorns. And ponies.

 
 

And ponies.

Sparkleponies?

I ask for VS.

 
 

Sparkleponies?

Nah. These are mangy libertarian ponies.

 
 

Ah.

Not even good enough for dog food.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Oh. Oh my. I had missed the February Alkonetics post here. I just now followed the various pinky things sufficiently to see what Arnold and RSM and Donalde (et al.?) have whipped up. When I mentioned upthread about a NY based thespian I was basing it purely on what I thought was coincidental …. Oh jeebus, this _could_ get very very funny indeed.

 
 

When I mentioned upthread about a NY based thespian I was basing it purely on what I thought was coincidental

OK, now I am laughing at PM.

 
 

Not even good enough for dog food.

Not unless you are trying to poison the neighbors dog.

 
 

A mob? We’re a mob? Awesome.

 
 

no kidding tsam. I remember when we were only a rabble.

 
 

I remember when we were only a rabble.

We are evolving. If we play our cards right, we might make it all the way to a horde.

 
 

Growf!

 
 

Also too, after May 21st any “Christian” you may stumble across failed to make the cut.*

*again

 
 

Hey, I missed some shit while busy planting the old lady. Give me a chance to catch up, k?

 
 

Sorry PM.

Take your time.

We’ll just wait here…..

 
 

@owlbear-

There’s one of those billboards on the way to one of my project sites. I will probably be driving right by it on the 23rd or 25th; looking forward to getting a photo of it with a 5/23 timestamp.

 
 

The real secret…

Tintin’s name isn’t “Carl,” it’s “Karl.”

Karl Stalinen…

And I hear tell his middle name is Che. And some guy named Farley shows all his failed movies, too.

Don’t blame me, I read it on the internets.

But I bet it’s all true, every word. I mean, why would anyone ever tell a lie on the Internet?

 
 

Post updated above: “L337 blogger s3r88tard, or however the fuck she spells her fiendishly clever nym, brings the unintentional funny to an update where she accuses me of cowardice for, get this, anonymous blogging. Well, call me a coward, if you will, surr877ed, but at least I’m smart enough to realize that I am blogging anonymously.”

 
 

When I got up this morning, part of my hair was standing straight up. Now I’m worried that I might have been Tintin in my sleep without knowing it.

 
 

Let me know if you want that fucktard’s name, btw. He’s a local, and I know people who know him. I just never really cared until now.
.

 
 

WTF?

I love Rachel Maddow, but I sure hate watching her show. She’s talking about the taxes companies like Exxon Mobile pay.

Record profits last quarter. Taxes paid: -$152,000,000.00.

That’s NEGATIVE 152 million. Meaning we paid for the $4 gas, and paid tax money to give those fucking shits a tax rebate.

Additionally, they’re threatening to tank the economy if we actually do anything about it. The oil cartels have the power to do it.

 
 

From Owlbear1’s link:

“Don’t past failures at predicting the end of the world give May 21sters some pause? […] ‘It would be like telling the Wright Brothers that every other attempt to fly has failed, so you shouldn’t even try,’ said Chris McCann, who works with eBibleFellowship, one of the groups spreading the message.”

I love this analogy. You might say the Wright Brothers didn’t invent the airplane so much as they discovered it hidden in creation. I doubt McCann thinks of it that way, or that much, but I still say “well played, sir.”

 
 

@Jeffraham. Thanks for the offer but Sadly, No! never outs folks, even total fuckwits like s3rrr8ard.

 
 

Thanks for the offer but Sadly, No! never outs folks, even total fuckwits like s3rrr8ard.

I was just saying if you wanted it, I could get it — not that you would have to use it for any public mischief… 😉
.

 
 

Jonah says that if you’re catching flak, you’re over the target, tintin.

Since you ARE Jonah, you already know this.

just sayin’

 
 

A target as big as Jonah would be downed by flak pretty easily.
.

 
 

I’m Carl Salonen!

 
 

… and Carl told two friends… and they told two friends… and so on, and so on, and so on!
.

 
 

I was going to say “I’m Jonah Goldberg” but I can see my toes so that can’t be right.

 
 

I’m Spartacus!

 
 

Plus Tony Curtis got class and style from here to Tuesday!

 
 

Oh yeah–and thank DOG it’s all going to be over in 10 days. I can’t bear another 4th of July in a county lockup.

 
 

“Yonduh lies duh castle of my faddah.”
.

 
 

Tintin/Carl/Jonah,

I think that blogger misspelled it — should be “retRd3d.”

 
 

Also, retRd3d should consider translating his blahg to the vernacular.

 
 

“I am a poet and a tellah uv tayles.”

 
 

but Sadly, No! never outs folks,

Zombizzles rest easy.

 
 

Whoa–you know what? I had no clue THE Tony Curtis was in Spartacus. I was just riffing on the tintin be Jonah/Karl/Carl and blindly hit the target.

Also; He’s not a real american or even a CRISCHEN!

Tony Curtis was born Bernard Schwartz, the eldest of three children to immigrant parents, Emanuel and Helen Schwartz.

 
 

Even a dumbfuck like teh Donalde ought to be able to rule out Carl as tintin. He’s not a gay Belgian.

I’ve met Arnold, otoh, and she is that stupid. Plus s/he’s got that gender confusion issue.

 
 

You right cunt, that was my best role EVAR!!!

 
Chun the Unavoidable
 

Jack Vance is a piker!

 
 

You right cunt, that was my best role EVAR!!!

I woulda guessed that staring at Marilyn Monroe’s tits for a few months would have been the best role. $50 says you nailed her.

 
 

EXCLUSIVE!!! —BREAKING NEWS— EXCLUSIVE!!!

The Sadlynaught Mob caught on video!

 
 

Chun the Unavoidable eats eyeballs, unless I am confusing him with someone else.

 
 

Also too, after May 21st any “Christian” you may stumble across failed to make the cut.*

To be fair, judging by the the picture, the end of the world for Harold Camping could very well come around May 21st, maybe sooner.

 
 

Make fun of people who take themselves seriously, will you? Prepare for an Aargh Blarghalanche!

 
 

That sounded suspiciously like a threat, roy.

I hope it’s an avalanche of teddy bears!

 
 

Whoa–I have just entered the Twilight Zone. (Not that gay vampire guy and pouty not-very-hot chick who loves him movie, the old show on the teevee before all that devil magic color business came along)

I just saw an ad on MSNBC for Fox News. Somebody fell asleep at the wheel there.

 
Chun the Unavoidable
 

Chun the Unavoidable eats eyeballs, unless I am confusing him with someone else.

I wear them, actually. If that wanker Vance were a better writer, you’d know that.

 
 

wait. Tintin is Kenneth Mars!I

SO MUCH now makes sense.

 
Chun the Unavoidable
 

And just how do we know you’re not Carl, guy-who-calls-himself Roy Edroso?

 
 

Don’t you have some drinking to do, roy?

 
Bernie Schwartz
 

I am Roy Edroso!

 
 

I am Carla Salonen.

 
 

I am Iron Man.

 
The Crazy World of Arthur Brown
 

I am the god of hellfire!

 
low sodium hunchback
 

I am a Help, I’m a rock.

 
 

It’s all a plot cooked up by this Karl guy…

First, he gets folks asking “Who is Tintin?”

As interest increases, everyone claims to be Tintin or “goes Tintin.”

Eventually, they make a movie about it (awful, from what I hear) starring…
…”failed actor Karl Stalinen”

It’s just publicity bid for a bad movie role, by a failing, washed up thespian…

Teh Donalde is just a stuffed pron in Che’s play… The ass prof is bing used…

 
 

A yam, ice head,
A yam, Ike ride…

 
 

Well there is a disproportionate percentage of zombies that post here as compared to the general population, I’ll give her that.

You obviously don’t take the same bus that I do.

Not Thor again.

Well, if you had been thittin’ where I wath, you’d be Thor too.

How do you know he’s an outie and not an innie? HMMMMMMMM?

She’s seen the etchings.

Celery root. You ever try chopping one of those motherfuckers? You need a hatchet. Or a guillotine.

I thought we all settled on cliffotines.

that mob site

Oh good Lord. Somebody needs to turn Teh Shitmoatress into a meme on /b/. Then she’ll find out what a fucking mindless, oozing mob of basement-dwelling Aspies really is.

———–

Also, too. I call Nyarlathotep.

 
 

Help, I’m a rock.

Billy was a mountain.

 
 

Hah-de-yah-de-yah-dah.

 
 

Who is Captain Haddock? The scales of justice are tipping!!!

 
 

actor212. They think actor212 is Tintin. Or vice versa.

Apparently it is indeed ALL. ONE. GUY.

 
 

I wanted to be the first one to riff from finger tenting to tenting my pants. Oh well, too slow. As in all things the Japanese have a word for it.

 
 

Who is Captain Haddock?

You are Professor Calculus.

 
 

I’m Sarl Calonin.

(And obviously, there can be only one, proving that I’m a gay 50-something, “young and hung” t-shirt salesman who’s straight, and is a failed actor. Kwed, baby… Q. E. frickin D.)

((Oh yeah… Bwahahaha. Bwa. Ha. Ha. PWONED!))

 
 

He interprets Malaclypse as confirming this equivalency: “You [Douglas] seem very proud that you have learned someone’s real name.”

Donalde should really stop listening to me. It never works out well for him.

Six months from now, after Carl sues him, he’ll be blaming my nihilist lies for the whole incident.

 
 

I don’t know…
I’ve never seen this Karl and Tintin posting on the same blog, at the same time… That’s gotta tell ya something… Teh Donalde may be right.

Besides… Look at the facts, and ask yourself, who benefits? (Follow the money… That’s the key.)

The man with one arm is wearing a red shoe.

They’re watching, and they already know what you did.

Knock, knock… Knock.
The gig is up.

 
Feyd Rautha Salonen
 

I will kill him!

 
the conspiratist
 

They’re watching, and they already know what you did.

And make jokes about it in the break room.

 
 

I am Gary Ruppert.

 
 

I am Kaiser Söze.

I am Bismark Söze.

 
 

It is happening again…

 
 

I am the Lizard King.

 
 

The fact is I am Gary Ruppert.

 
 

New post up over at Acoustic Kitty………………….

 
The Voices in Amy Alkon's Head
 

The fact is, I know Gary Ruppert very, very well, if you know what I mean. So you can trust me when I tell you I know Tintin’s real name.

 
Bernie Schwartz
 

Alkon hasn’t been right in the head for at least 40 years before Cathy Siepp kicked the bucket. Dropped on her head as a child.

I wonder if Carl’s blog has a traffic uptick. His writing and tintin’s are remarkably dissimilar.

 
The Voices in Amy Alkon's Head
 

His writing and tintin’s are remarkably dissimilar.

That is just his attempt to throw me off. I shan’t be deceived! Shan’t! I will not be ignored!

 
 

Apparently it is indeed ALL. ONE. GUY.

Missed by that much.

 
Stephen Ambrose
 

A target as big as Jonah would be downed by flak pretty easily.

Very perceptive. The Kaiser used his fleet of Jonah’s to bomb London early in World War I, but the Jonahs were too large and slow and proved vulnerable to ground fire.

 
 

That is just his attempt to throw me off. I shan’t be deceived! Shan’t! I will not be ignored!

Exactly. You’ve proved with geometric logic that Tintin is Carl. Only those disloyal, inefficient lefty bloggers dispute this proven fact!

 
St. John Smythe, Sheep Herd
 

…the Jonahs were too large and slow and proved vulnerable to ground fire.

I remember, oh hell, it was very early on. I had no bloody idea what it was! 5 acres if it was a foot! It was squatting not much more than a 100 feet above the ground. Gray and undulating there. So I toook a couple shots at it and it started hissing! It picked up speed, gained some altitude than just collapse, funnier than fuck ’til it landed on 18 of my sheep.

 
 

Salonen should cash in and sue the alcohol off of Alkie Alkon.

 
 

Where do these hookers come from?

 
The Voices in Amy Alkon's Head
 

You’ve proved with geometric logic that Tintin is Carl. Only those disloyal, inefficient lefty bloggers dispute this proven fact!

I love strawberries.

 
 

Salonen should cash in and sue the alcohol off of Alkie Alkon.

…and what’s left will fit into a matchbox.

 
 

Prepare for an Aargh Blarghalanche!

Now with even more SKREE!

 
 

Isn’t Carl Salonen the crazy guy referenced in Ginsberg’s Howl?

 
 

Very little is known of Tintin or his life but he is stated to have
been born in Ahrensburg, near Hamburg, and to have worked as a
young man in the office of his father, who had extensive jam interests
in North Germany. He is said to have disappeared completely from
human ken for a time after “Fenwick” had been arrested in a Sheephaven hotel following the unmasking of the Amazon comments scandal by Amy Alkon, which made scathing references to Tintin’s discreditable machinations in Hamburg and clearly suggested his complicity. The subsequent exoneration of Fenwick served only to throw further suspicion on the shadowy Tintin. While I applaud Professor Douglas’ efforts at unmasking his identity, I am not sure his recent research has thrown much light on Tintin’s identity or his ultimate fate. I would like to make the interesting suggestion that Tintin does not exist at all, the name being one of the pseudonyms adopted by the egregious Gary Ruppert to further his “campaign of calumny.”

 
Spearhafoc, who thinks Christina Hendricks' husband gives hope to us funny-looking guys everywhere
 

I am the very model of a moder Major-General
I’ve information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical

I’m very well acquainted too with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theory, I am teeming with a lot of news
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

Written from memory, it was. I’ll stop before I do the whole damned song.

 
 

All right, Tintin. The joke’s up. Show us the birth certificate.

 
 

All right, Tintin. The joke’s up. Show us the birth certificate.

Aha! Obama was actually born in Belgium!

It all makes sense now!

 
 

The Jonah-related alternative history of WW2 air warfare is coming along hilariously, kudos. I pity the poor, doomed German lads who had to ride in one of a Jonah’s many bulbous ball turrets.

My own joke comes to mind thanks to an unfunny poem:

From my mother’s sleep I fell into the State,
And I hunched in its belly till my wet fur froze.
Six miles from earth, loosed from its dream of life,
I woke to black flak and the nightmare fighters.
When I died they washed me out of the turret with a hose.
–Randall Jarrell

 
 

I am <pppphhhhtttthhhh> Fartacus!

 
 

This whole thread is driving dangerously close to metacommentary.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I had a beer with Carl Salonen once. I’m no junior petite, but he’s one big mofo. He’d probably mop the floor with Donald Douglas in a brawl.

Diggin’ “Chun the Unavoidable”. He ain’t gettin’ mah baby blues for his coat. I’m sorry I missed this thread.

 
 

So much fucking WIN! in these comments. (I’m too lazy to block quote)

“jim said, I HAZ A POSSE. ” I thought “jim” was a guy’s name.

Inserting the joke.

Koo koo ka choo.

 
 

crid said,
May 12, 2011 at 15:23

I wish I’d said that. Let’s all pretend that ‘crid’ and I are the same person, so I can claim credit for it.

 
 

Carl Salonen! I’m with you when you fuck navy boys in the distant, evening quiet.

 
 

I hope “Carl Salonen” isn’t a Jewish name, because if it is, these attacks on Tintin would then be clear examples of ANTI-SEEEEEMITISM!!! and JEEEEEW-BASHING!!!, and goo’ness nose, we can’t have that.

 
 

Wow. This “Carl Salonen” person must be the nefarious “they” right wingers are always claiming is bringing socialism to America.

Hmmmm…. Soros….Salonen….both start with the letter “S”….coincidence?

 
 

B^4, you’ve MET this man?????

😉

 
 

Salonen should cash in and sue the alcohol off of Alkie Alkon.

My sources tell me he’s rather enjoying the attention for now, but that he’s kept a careful eye on the situation.

In point of fact, he’s posted at Donalde’s blog and thanked him for making a note of the video so he can have his lawyers review it. Donalde moderates comments so its possible he was too cowardly to let it post.

 
 

Gosh, I wish a New York-based thespian were around to help us sort this issue out.

I’m afraid I can’t be of much help here, Looch. This “Carl” fellow terrifies me. He once shot me just to watch me die.

I got better.

 
 

So when’s the reveal?

 
 

How could I, of all people, have lived for these last 34 years without realizing that I was, all along, someone else other than the person I thought I was?

*taking off hair shirt*

Here…I guess I don’t have to wear this anymore…

 
 

Even if this Carl thinger isn’t the Sadly, Neutered ‘Tintin’, the object of widespread internet disgust, one who has wasted much of his life with clownish ‘Internet Traditions’, Carl’s now exposed and deservedly berated as an asshole, too.

‘Tintin’ is on notice that his identity is close to being exposed, if it isn’t already. There’s huge, circling flocks of chickens what need to shit before they roost.

‘Tintin’ is feeling the sphincter-tightening of what this eventual exposure will bring; because of his long-term and highly-exposed juvenile treatment of hundreds of people who are better than he, he will face massive butt-hurt, and he will suffer necessary consequences. Well and good, that.

An ‘Internet Tradition’: expose all hidden pooh-flinging monkeys of stature sooner or later, and make ’em live up to their past.

Me, too, you say? Sure! But I’m not nearly as ‘exposed’ as is super-asshole ‘Tintin’. I’d gladly trade my real name for his. The crowds carrying tar and pitchforks seeking him will be massive, more than the two or three whom I’ve pained.

We’ll get him soon enough.

 
 

Carl’s now exposed and deservedly berated as an asshole, too.

Clearly, you don’t know Carl!

I know him. We exchange e-mails from time to time.

People suddenly find themselves in hot water when they mess with him.

And if you’re willing to trade real names, well, you claim to “know who he is” so pony up, r8teless. Post your real name here and now.

 
 

And if Carl is not TinTin, then you clearly owe him an apology.

You can post that here as well.

 
 

We’ll get him soon enough.

Ooooh. Internet Tough Guy!

Listen to Actor, he knows of what he speaks about Carl.

Just sayin’.

Tough Guy.

 
 

Remember how Ben Domenech was dumped by WaPo?

Messed with Carl.

Bill Kristol fired by the Times?

Bumped into Carl at the Hanover Bar and spilled his drink.

Not a man to be tangled with. He is the most powerful force in the universe, truly

 
 

Carl’s mother has a tattoo that says “SON”

So help me, me.

 
 

You have to hand it to r3tRd3d, s/he knows how to put together run-on sentences.

I wonder what punctuation did to piss it off?

 
 

We’ll get him soon enough.

And his little dog, too!

 
 

Look out, libtards! Now derp8ed is using the deadly “EVEN IF” gambit!

Even if this Carl thinger isn’t the Sadly, Neutered ‘Tintin’
Even if Donalde & I are indeed full of shit, which we plainly are …

‘Tintin’ is on notice that his identity is close to being exposed, if it isn’t already
… we’ll get you sooner or later, queer-boy … & when we do, it’ll be all YOUR fault for showing everyone exactly how hateful & idiotic we are! [insert evil cackle here]

I’d gladly trade my real name for his. The crowds carrying tar and pitchforks seeking him will be massive, more than the two or three whom I’ve pained.
Bullshit. Your rep as an obnoxious griefer precedes you – & you vastly overestimate the number of people who give enough of a fuck about what gets posted here to care who’s posting it.

PROTIP: Some people have sex-lives, jobs, kids & hobbies that do not involve trolling dead comment threads to yank other peoples’ chains. Perhaps you should emulate them more often.

 
 

When Prince William met Carl, Prince William bowed.

 
chimpevil (aka Serj Tankian lead singer of Sytem of a Down)
 

Little-known fact: Donald Douglas played sex-kitten Elly Mae Clampett on the Beverly Hillbillies and went by the name of “Donna Douglas”

OH wait, I just thought–Carl, sweetheart, you better still fucking be gay!!!

 
 

Praying the Beverly Hillbillies link above isn’t a photoshop.

Crossing fingers…

…and…

…clicking the link:

Scary, but it could’ve been far more scary, if it had been what I thought it mighta been…

Thank Carltintin in Heaven I was wrong.

 
 

So, if other folks deleting his “Carl” comments was proof of a vast leftwing cover-up, what does it mean when Donaldee deletes his own posts on the subject? Is HE now part of the conspiracy, too?!?

“I’m on the verge of obtaining the mother of all tips on Tintin’s identity. So until that information becomes available, and since Carl [] is threatening punitive retaliation against those looking into his shady his activities, I’m temporarily pulling my previous posts in the series.”Donald Kent Douglas – American Power: Outing Tintin at Sadly No!

 
 

Holy shit. I’m never taking a mental health break from the internet again.

 
 

chimpevil (aka Serj Tankian lead singer of Sytem of a Down) said,

lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie

 
 

“I’m on the verge of obtaining the mother of all tips on Tintin’s identity. So until that information becomes available, and since Carl [] is threatening punitive retaliation against those looking into his shady his activities, I’m temporarily pulling my previous posts in the series.” – Donald Kent Douglas – American Power: Outing Tintin at Sadly No!

Yea, that will purge the Wayback Machine. Those records are every bit as gone as Donalde’s dignity.

 
 

since Carl [] is threatening punitive retaliation against those looking into his shady his activities

Shady activities? Hey, isn’t that libel? I would say “keep fucking that chicken*” but at this point it’s looking compulsive.

*this metaphorical statement refers to an internet “meme” and in no way assumes or implies any actual sexual penetration of poultry.

 
 

I’m on the verge of obtaining the mother of all tips on Tintin’s identity.

The fact is, Donalde now knows that I am Tintin.

 
 

OH wait, I just thought–Carl, sweetheart, you better still fucking be gay!!!

He’s not, but he makes women turn lesbian. He’s that damned good.

 
 

At this point, I’m not entirely sure Tintin is really Tintin. Sasquatch isreal, but maybe Tintin ainteatha…

 
 

TinTin’s been suspiciously quiet the last couple of days, but then I’ve been busy.

 
 

More from Donnie:

[Target] isn’t the first to call me a paunchy middle-aged child pornographer. Scott Eric Kaufman made the allegations previously.

You know, nobody has ever called me “a paunchy middle-aged child pornographer.” Seriously, Donnie – when more than one person uses that phrase about you, maybe it is time to step back and think about your life.

 
 

“…maybe it is time to step back and think about your life.”

Hey, look in the mirror, pal. Spoken by the coward behind the fake name.

A child pornographer? Prove it. Or stop defaming people. That’s libel, and, er, works both way, coward dickrod lowlife loser. Amy Alkon’s got your number, man child pussy.

 
 

Or stop defaming people.

All I did was quote you, when you said that multiple people called you “a paunchy middle-aged child pornographer.”

 
 

I note you’re the one who appropriated the child pornographer label and I think you’d have a hard time pressing a libel case against yourself, but hey, you might as well try.

Also, “It’s brought” is reference to the verb phrase as “bringing a lawsuit” or, you know, a response to “bring it on” in general, which is how anyone not nuts would read it.

 
 

“Spoken by the coward behind the fake name.”

And here I thought s3rr83d was your friend…

“Amy Alkon’s got your number”

And you seem perfectly willing take down your own posts, and hide behind his skirts, where you can claim “I didn’t say nothin’. All I did was paraphrase what Alkon said.” You sure do talk tough though, don’cha…?

 
 

“Amy Alkon’s got your number”

The fact is, she has mine as well. We are good friends, if you know what I mean. She posted a lot about how she knew me, which is why you can be sure she tells the truth. But I don’t think she has Malaclypse’s number. I don’t think they would have much in common. She does not like evil people.

 
 

“man child pussy”

Probably not the best phrase to use, after someone suggests child porn in your background…

Really hoping that’s not some kinda confession from Teh Donalde…

There’s creepy, and then there’s CREEPY…

 
 

A child pornographer? Prove it.

Done 🙂

 
 

Mal?

YOU’RE This Carl Godson?

And so that makes you TinTin?

Man, I’m so confused. I thought I was me but not me but not Donalde (god forbid)…

 
 

Mal?

YOU’RE This Carl Godson?

Well, I thought I was me, but if Donalde or Amy say I’m Carl, well, it must be either true, false, or something else. While identity is a funny thing, if I know anything, it is that Donalde is Greyface.

 
 

Donalde has a sad. Awwww….

 
 

Well, you must be this Carl since you proved he exists which immediately means you must be i possession of his long-form birth certificate.

Whar!? WHAR BIRF CERFICKAK???

 
 

Amy Alkon’s got your number

BFD! Everyone in every bar in the West Village has hers!

 
 

I don’t want to sound like a narcissist, but I’m trying to figure out how I got involved in this and am very, very confused. Best as I can tell, as I worked through it at LGM:

I’m somehow implicated in a vast conspiracy which has to do with me rightly designating The Donalde as a pedophile, then I became Belgian writing under the pseudonym “SEK,” so The Donalde wrote — or was going to write — something about this on “Right Wing News,” which would’ve gotten picked up by “World Net Daily” as an attempt to prove that me and some guy named Carl are Tintin, but then someone told World Net Daily about Google and they responded, “Fuck, this is too much, even for us”?

This must be what it feels like to live in The Donalde’s brain, and I’m going to be frank: I’m starting to feel a little sorry for the guy.

Am I close?

 
 

I’m sticking with the theory I laid out at LGM:

I suspect that Donalde thinks you [SEK] and repsac are the same person, that carl salami is tintin, and that I somehow tie in to all of this, as “Amy Alkon’s got your [my] number [pointless profanity deleted].”

Since this does correspond to the Law of Fives, I’m convinced that we are All One Guy, perhaps Gary Ruppert.

This makes at least as much sense as any of Donalde’s speculations.

 
 

I’m somehow implicated in a vast conspiracy which has to do with me rightly designating The Donalde as a pedophile

*raising hand*

I posted (about someone else) that he was a middle aged child pornographer.

I had NO idea that your far superior mind applied that to his Rule 5 posts.

 
 

I posted (about someone else) that he was a middle aged child pornographer.

I think the technical term people might be looking for – not about Donalde, of course, but in general – is Ephebophilia.

 
 

I think the syndrome were not talking about, no no, is “procuring” since the person in question…but not Donalde…posts these pictures on his blog where he forces young adults and a few sub-eighteen year olds to look.

 
 

But Mal? It’s all Greek to me *winkwink*

Orange you glad that we’re not….ohhhhhh, who do I have in mind? Whooooooo is so hated by the right wing that he’d automatically get a rise out of some idiots…..I dunno….could it be SATANNNNNNNNNNNN????

 
 

This must be what it feels like to live in The Donalde’s brain, and I’m going to be frank: I’m starting to feel a little sorry for the guy.

By the time this Carl fellow is done with him, you’ll have every right to feel sorry for Donalde.

And then Arnold will be next.

Carl bowls overhanded. That’s all I can say.

 
 

Donnie digs himself deeper. The distortions, lies, evasions, and demonizations have probably by now taken the record for the most sustained depravity I’ve dealt with in my 5+ years of blogging…I’ve got more information and screencaps forthcoming as well. This is the daily routine with these people, and Carl [Salami] is the Sadly No! ringleader in the comment threads, and perhaps more.

I heard Carl Salami is the 12th Imam, which explains the missing Islamofascism element.

 
 

Oh please, he admits right there he’s sustained it for 5+ years, the few days of practically velvet paw prods he’s gotten is nothing to his record of continuous, deliberate, small-minded, mean-spirited bullshit. Besides which, if you don’t want to be made fun of don’t make yourself ridiculous.

 
 

Tig, it’s OK. Donalde has no clue what I’ve launched. By now, the wrong eyes are reading his blog…poor boy.

Stage two launches next week. First thing I need to do is to check his hit rate and decide which path I’ll take.

But at least he’s stopped demeaning TinTin by calling him me. Or her. Who knows who’s Speare Shakes, Sister….

 
 

Few people realize that Donald Douglas is actually the gender-morphed identity of Donna Douglas, who played Jed Clampett’s dimwitted daughter Ellie Mae on the Beverly Hillbillies.

 
 

(comments are closed)