And He Didn’t Even Get An Effing Tote-Bag

ABOVE: Kathryn “Miss Strawberry Margarita 1982” Lopez


Good groveling grief, but the folks over at America’s Shittiest Website™ are begging their readers, yet again, to find the nickels, dimes, Funyun crumbs, and pizza crusts under their couch cushions and to send the spare change over to ASW™ to keep that old tub afloat. It’s hard to imagine why these guys are always needing more money. It is certainly not to make sure that Jo-Dough Loadberg has a full-supply of personal hygiene products or to pay K-Lo’s makeover bills and birth control expenses.

In a post touchingly titled by K-Lo as “Down But Not Out,” we have this heart-rending story of selfless sacrifice made by some hapless Corner reader to make sure that none of the poor dears who write for ASW™ miss a meal or an episode of CSI because their cable got cut off.

From a $50 contributor to our spring fundraising drive:

Recently unemployed and looking for work — but you are still worth supporting!

Our readers — God bless you! Thank you for joining those who have made the decision to support NRO.

.

Pardon me for a moment while I go dab a tissue on my tear-stained cheeks. Or not. I mean, honestly, what kind of moral sludge can advocate policies that will fatten the wallets of millionaires and throw the middle class out of their jobs and then take money from some unemployed guy? How do they know they’re not taking the last peanut butter sandwich out of the mouths of his kids? Why wouldn’t they do the decent thing and return the check with a nice thank you note and a suggestion that they would love a contribution later when he had a job and could afford it? Am I wrong to think that these people would get into a fist fight with a homeless man over a quarter that someone dropped on the sidewalk?


UPDATE: After vacuumslayer suggested in the comments the possibility of beautifying K-Lo, I decided to take the opposite tack and have her picture get worse and worse over time as her inner soul emerged. Here is the progression:

 

Comments: 501

 
 
 

Our readers — God bless you!

Who sneezed?

 
 

“or to pay K-Lo’s makeover bills and birth control expenses”

Dude. You are soooo going to hell for this.

“How do they know they’re not taking the last peanut butter sandwich out of the mouths of his kids?”

Feature, not a bug.

 
 

How do they know they’re not taking the last peanut butter sandwich out of the mouths of his kids?

They know… would you put this sort of thing past Doughbob?

 
 

Am I wrong to think that these people would get into a fist fight with a homeless man over a quarter that someone dropped on the sidewalk?

Yes. You are wrong to think that. These people are far too cowardly to risk any sort of physical contact with the great unwashed.

They would run over/shoot said hobo for a nickle, but fisticuffs? Never.

 
 

Related from Andrew McCarthy:

2. I’m starting to feel like I am talking to the wall, but I’ll say it again: There is no money. We are broke. We’re far afield from what I started talking about, which was not an impossibly ambitious effort to solve all our financial woes in one fell swoop but a starkly modest insistence that the Republicans should do what they promised to do and cut $61B rather what is said now to be $39B.

Sooo…are NRO writers in a similar position volunteering to take a pay cut or what?

 
 

Recently unemployed and looking for work

Perhaps it’s Sarah Palin.

 
 

Excellent photoshopping BTW. You might wanna add a sideshow booth next time.

 
 

And, this goes without saying, but unemployed guy? Is a dumbfuck.

If I was going to spend $50 on anything after recently becoming unemployed, it would be booze.

 
 

Hogeye Grex stole my comment while I was formantattin’ it.

He should be banned.
~

 
 

I do not understand what the point of having National Review is

DITTO!

 
 

I mean, honestly, what kind of moral sludge can advocate policies that will fatten the wallets of millionaires and throw the middle class out of their jobs and then take money from some unemployed guy?

Mixed feelings. I agree completely that they should never have taken an unemployed guy’s money, though this kind of scam has been going on for so long it’s hard to muster even a shred of surprise.

Otherwise, I feel sorry for the guy’s kids, wife or anyone else he may have to support. But chiefly I feel sorry that they have a dad/husband/wev who thinks it’s fine to piss away money on a pet political website when he and his family are going through a crisis like unemployment. Seriously, what the fuck?

 
 

They really must suck bad if they can’t garner any of that PHAT Koch LEWT. Are they too timid for the Kochs, or too inept?

 
 

But chiefly I feel sorry that they have a dad/husband/wev who thinks it’s fine to piss away money on a pet political website when he and his family are going through a crisis like unemployment.

After his plan to sell the kids (The Free Market Roooolz!) fails, he’ll gogalt and their lives will improve.

 
 

I don’t think $50 guy exists- I think he’s merely a doomed, misguided attempt to guilt sociopaths into coughing up some baksheesh.

 
 

The capitalist marketplace of ideas has placed a value on their product, why don’t they just accept it?

 
 

why don’t they just accept it?

I vote “stupidity.”

 
 

what kind of moral sludge can advocate policies that will fatten the wallets of millionaires and throw the middle class out of their jobs and then take money from some unemployed guy?

I’ll go with “Someone who doesn’t give a rusty fuck,” Tintin.

 
 

I don’t think $50 guy exists- I think he’s merely a doomed, misguided attempt to guilt sociopaths into coughing up some baksheesh.

I think you might be right. But either way, it’s fucking fucked up.

 
 

Of course he didn’t get a tote bag. NRO readers may be unemployed (due to that Socialst job-killing Kenyan usurper) but they are never hobos.

 
 

I don’t think $50 guy exists- I think he’s merely a doomed, misguided attempt to guilt sociopaths into coughing up some baksheesh.

I really hope so. I hope for humanity’s sake that there’s no unemployed person whose priorities are as fucked up as that running around.

 
 

cont’d: and yes, I could totally see the NRO pulling that sort of scam.

 
 

Maybe he likes being unemployed and he’s coughing up his last dollar to ensure he has as much company as possible.

 
low sodium hunchback
 

BBBB,
My first thought too. It’s horseshit.

 
 

The capitalist marketplace of ideas has placed a value on their product, why don’t they just accept it?

Do they allow comments? Has anybody told them that the Free Market has spoken?

Of course he didn’t get a tote bag. NRO readers may be unemployed (due to that Socialst job-killing Kenyan usurper) but they are never hobos.

Tote bags pander to the environazi agenda, and make Supply Side Jesus cry. They totally go against the spirit of “Human Enterprise Day”.

 
 

I don’t think $50 guy exists- I think he’s merely a doomed, misguided attempt to guilt sociopaths into coughing up some baksheesh.

A friend of mine occasionally relates the story of a certain teevee preacher who would come on to fleece his flock by telling the various hobos and cat-ladies that they should contribute, and not to feel bad if all they could afford was $1000.

 
 

We’ll be NRO-ing
When we’re winning
We’ll be NRO-ing

We get knocked down
But we get up again
You’re never going to keep me down

Pissing the night away
Pissing the night away

He posts an Obammy joke
About how he still smokes
He posts passive-aggressive threats
About Barry’s cigarettes
He posts impromptus that remind him
Of the good times
When teh lesser classes knew their place,
Those were better times.

 
 

I find it kind of charming that after all the wingnuts and Fools and trolls around this blog, some of the regulars still think there ISN’T someone out there in Freeperville who’s moronic enough to send 50 bucks to NRO while unemployed.

After all, the NRO crew are moronic enough to think that this paints them in a SYMPATHETIC light, that will encourage more broke losers to send in their last bit of discretionary income. Cuz, you know, that Trickle is going to start ANY DAMN DAY NOW.

 
 

oooo, now WordPress hates zombies too.

 
 

Perhaps it’s Sarah Palin.

Glenn Beck.

 
 

“I don’t think $50 guy exists- I think he’s merely a doomed, misguided attempt to guilt sociopaths into coughing up some baksheesh.”

Even if this guy is made up, how screwed up is NRO to target their begging at the unemployed.

 
 

Even if this guy is made up, how screwed up is NRO to target their begging at the unemployed.

This is the sort of wealth redistribution the righties always get behind.

 
 

Even if this guy is made up, how screwed up is NRO to target their begging at the unemployed.
Screwed up like a fox! They are aiming their fundraising at the fastest growing segment of the population.

 
 

A friend of mine occasionally relates the story of a certain teevee preacher who would come on to fleece his flock by telling the various hobos and cat-ladies that they should contribute, and not to feel bad if all they could afford was $1000.

See e.g. Dr Gene Scott, the subject of a Herzog documentary.

 
 

$50 guy

Applebee’s salad bar guy

Friedman’s cabbie

All. One. Dood.

 
 

Gene Scott was fun to watch. Robert Tilton was good too, and achieved immortality as The Farting Preacher.

 
 

Even if this guy is made up, how screwed up morally bankrupt is NRO to target their begging at the unemployed.

fixxxxxxed to reflect actuality…

 
 

now WordPress hates zombies too.

May as well join the club.

They are aiming their fundraising at the fastest growing segment of the population.

On my morning bike commute to work, I pass by a union hall. Outside the other day, I saw a truck parked, clearly a laborer of some sort, with a “Obama been lyin'” bumper sticker.

I do not understand how these people are persuaded to consistently work in opposition to their own interests.

 
 

Robert Tilton or?

 
 

Dear K-Lo,

I’m sending you my chemotherapy money. There is no point in living if NRO doesn’t survive.

 
 

Dr Gene Scott?

 
 

I do not understand how these people are persuaded to consistently work in opposition to their own interests.

It’s not a black-and-white issue…Oh, wait, yes it is.

 
 

Q: [W]hat kind of moral sludge can advocate policies that will fatten the wallets of millionaires and throw the middle class out of their jobs and then take money from some unemployed guy?

A: American conservatives!

So what do I win for pointing out that “advocating policies that will fatten the wallets of millionaires and [throwing]the middle class out of their jobs and then [taking] money from some unemployed guy” has been the basis of the GOP’s economic policy since … forever?

 
 

It’s not a black-and-white issue…Oh, wait, yes it is.

Less “black and white” and more “whatever will make life miserable for those Not Like Us” since they also hate teh homos, Mooslims, Messicans, Europeans, those whose knowledge base doesn’t solely consist of monster truck trivia or Larry the Cable Guy routines, folks with full sets of their own teeth (still in their mouths) …

 
 

See e.g. Dr Gene Scott

I can appreciate a guy who’ll spend a whole show interviewing a watermelon.

The whole linguistics tip he was on toward the end was sort of interesting too.

 
 

Believe it or not, I could actually make K-Lo look cute. Photoshop is a wonderful thing.

 
 

NRO readers may be unemployed (due to that Socialst job-killing Kenyan usurper) but they are never hobos.

So you’re saying I shouldn’t make soup out of them?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

“They really must suck bad if they can’t garner any of that PHAT Koch LEWT. Are they too timid for the Kochs, or too inept?”

The Kochs are not stupid, merely evil. They want results for their $$$. There is no ROI in funding NRO as, rather obviously, no one pays them any attention.

 
 

I don’t think $50 guy exists

I don’t either, but there’s unemployed and then there’s unemployed. Is Bill Gates “employed” these days?

 
 

I could actually make K-Lo look cute. Photoshop is a wonderful thing.

Your computer might melt in the attempt, though.

 
 

vacuumslayer said,
April 12, 2011 at 22:15 · Edit

Believe it or not, I could actually make K-Lo look cute. Photoshop is a wonderful thing.

I could too, but why? I’d only do that if she were cute on the inside. Instead I think we should let the inner ugly out.

 
 

(Computers don’t do well with such heavy contradictions, is what I mean. e.g.:
Spock: I love you, however, I hate you.
Alice 210: But I am identical in every way with Alice 27!
Spock: Exactly. That is exactly why I hate you, because you are identical.
(Both the androids slump over in confusion)
Spock: Fascinating. )

 
 

True. Her stupidity does have computer-melting powers.

 
 

“I could too, but why? I’d only do that if she were cute on the inside. Instead I think we should let the inner ugly out.”

Oh no…it’s much funnier this way. I was just doing some impromptu obnoxious bragging.

 
 

how screwed up is NRO to target their begging at the unemployed.

If an unemployed person were to ask folks at NRO for money, all he’d get would be a lecture on personal responsibility and the need to stand on his own feet, maybe they’d even throw in a bit about personal cost-cutting or providing increased value to prospective employers via willing to do more for less, etc. if they were feeling particularly magnanimous.

 
 

Less “black and white” and more “whatever will make life miserable for those Not Like Us” etc….”

Getting serious for a moment, I think part of it has to do with the fact that Democrats since the ’60s have been pro-environmental regulation which disproportionately affects those in the extraction, construction and farming industries.

So these people have become convinced that, since Republicans oppose these regulations, they have the working person’s interests at heart. Now you and I know that what the Republicans really have at heart are the oligopoly’s interests. Thus the tax breaks for shipping jobs overseas, the anti-union legislation (going back 30 years), the opposition to universal healthcare.

But these people, having lives and not much time to really pay attention, don’t see that.

At least they didn’t until, in a classic Wingnut overreach, they went after the public unions in the midwest.

They may just have awoken the dragon. It’s an incredible opportunity for the liberal wing of the Republican party (AKA Democrats) if they’d just stop rolling over and showing their bellies for one fucking minute.

 
 

Awesome. Imagine a close tag after “etc…”

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

If an unemployed person were to ask folks at NRO for money, all he’d get would be a lecture on personal responsibility and the need to stand on his own feet, maybe they’d even throw in a bit about personal cost-cutting or providing increased value to prospective employers via willing to do more for less, etc. if they were feeling particularly magnanimous.

What’s really screwed up about NRO is that they are either unaware of their hypocrisy (self reflection is not a typical whingnut trait after all) or they are aware of it but are just so fucking mean and cynical that they continue on as before. Identifying the precise point of screwed uppedness in either case is left to the reader as an exercise.

Ron Paul recently said there was never any intent by the framers to have a wall of separation, that they intended the government to be rooted in Xian principles, and so on. Idiocy or demagoguery? I report, you decide.

 
 

Sooo…are NRO writers in a similar position volunteering to take a pay cut or what?

perhaps they should form a union

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Please prepend the following words to the first sentence of the second paragraph: In a similar vein,

 
 

“Idiocy or demagoguery?”

YOU CAN’T MAKE ME CHOOSE!

 
 

“Idiocy or demagoguery?”

there’s a difference?!?!

 
 

omg…talk show host out of st. paul is reporting a story he read on ‘american stinker’…may now have to change my listening habits…

 
 

WC nails it. Environmentalists have also not helped themselves much in regards to how they are perceived out in the hinterlands. The wingnuts are going to keep on overreaching because they have no choice to keep the crazy wing happy.

 
 

also, too…does anyone here who lives in the seatlle area know the veracity of the ‘spring spheres’ story that is making the rounds?

 
 

Who is the female impersonator in the photo?

 
 

does anyone here who lives in the seatlle area know the veracity of the ‘spring spheres’ story that is making the rounds?

Look out for the fuckin’ orbs!

 
 

does anyone here who lives in the seatlle area know the veracity of the ‘spring spheres’ story

First I’d heard of it.

According to this article, this was a story called in to the local “acceptable” wingnut (Dori Monson at KIRO). The segment is linked from that site.

Here’s the thing. 1) No verification. The school was not named, no other validation of the story. 2) The girl is from a “local private school” which is obviously some sort of Xtian school. Is she making it up? Dunno.

Sounds like bullshit to me though. No legit news outlet carried the story that I could find. Regardless, the poutrage expressed by the usual suspects (Stormfront, Redstate, etc) is utterly predictable. I mean really, why be so upset? If your school caters to Jews, Muslims, Hindis, etc. wouldn’t you go a little out of your way to avoid stirring up the shit?

As opposed to Monson, who just loves to stir shit up. Asshole.

 
 

Orbs. Is no comment thread safe from them?

 
 

Googling “spring spheres” results in nothing but right-wing crap. Hell, only wingnuts are dumb enough to describe hens’ eggs as spheres.

 
 

WC nails it. Environmentalists have also not helped themselves much in regards to how they are perceived out in the hinterlands. The wingnuts are going to keep on overreaching because they have no choice to keep the crazy wing happy.

There will always be some crazy PETA types, but how close were they to the halls of power?

And how come it never works the other way – extremists who want to force churches to accept guns are never afraid that their extremism will taint* the overall movement?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Thanks, WC. It was fun reading from the butthurt (and mostly factually incorrect) commenters at that link.

A mango from one of the non-butthurt (and mostly factually correct) commenters: Being conservative is just the retard pudding on the side.

 
 

Phone number at the link. I’m sure they’re REALLY PLEASED about this.

http://district.seattleschools.org/

 
 

El Manquécito said,

April 12, 2011 at 21:51

“$50 guy

Applebee’s salad bar guy

Friedman’s cabbie

All. One. Dood.”

…and anyone ever mentioned by Robin of Berkeley (including her own self)

 
 

Whale Chowder said,

April 12, 2011 at 23:19

this is what i thought…and it is super annoying…

 
 

Being conservative is just the retard pudding on the side.

*lovely* sentiment…

 
 

this butthurt is my favorite:

So if you know the nuts and bolts of christianity more than 99% of christians, then that must mean that 99% of christians know more than you about atheism

flawless logic, sirrah!

 
 

…and anyone ever mentioned by Robin of Berkeley (including her own self)

Yeah, I think RoB is a figment of Our Lady of the Shitmoat’s imagination. Speaking of her, I’d add:

“rude Volvo driver with latte and yoga mat”

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Logic is theft!

 
 

“rude Volvo driver with latte and yoga mat”

Have a care sirrah, you’re speaking of my wife. And it’s a BMW also, too.

 
 

How does this even happen?

The waitstaff was too busy stocking the salad bar to notice the switcheroo.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Umm, my guess would be that some mothers abandon their 15 month old toddlers at the table.

 
 

How does this even happen?

this story cracked me up…and, as a bartender and waitress, for the life of me, i can’t figure out how you can mix up apple juice and a margarita…either way, they’re DOING IT WRONG!

 
 

From further upthread:

There will always be some crazy PETA types, but how close were they to the halls of power?

But that isn’t really the issue is it? There have been some real environmental regulations imposed (and a damned good thing, too) that have had an effect on real working people. I think dismissing the anti-environmental reaction of the “Regan Democrats” as reacting to PETA types is a mistake. Real change has taken place and even though you could argue that the economic impact was small (but don’t tell a Grays Harbor County logger that), it has provided a very convenient stick with which the right has soundly thumped the Democratic party.

Jeebus, aren’t I Mr. Serious-pants today?

 
 

Goddamnit! Tagfail again!

 
 

How does this even happen?

Mom was at the salad bar.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

“Goddamnit!”

Better be careful there guy, you just never know:

http://foo.ca/wp/chick-tract-satire/hellenic-chick/

 
 

Goddamnit! Tagfail again!

http://www.autohotkey.com/

Then put

:R:bq::<blockquote></blockquote>

in the startup script and forever after you can type “bq” and get perfectly-formed blockquotes.

 
 

http://www.autohotkey.com/

verra, verra helpful…but *dumb question* what’s the start up script?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

But does it put the cursor between the inner brackets? HUH? You could easily screw up those “perfectly-formed blockquotes” otherwise.

 
 

How does this even happen?

My mom bought one of these and I told her pretty clearly that she had to keep my daughter away from it. So she left the table one day and came back to find her fancy toy full of this.

 
 

But does it put the cursor between the inner brackets?

I haven’t made it do that, but yes it can.

verra, verra helpful…but *dumb question* what’s the start up script?

It’ll ask you to make one when you run it for the first time. Put that text in it.

 
 

So if you know the nuts and bolts of christianity more than 99% of christians, then that must mean that 99% of christians know more than you about atheism

Wait, what? Does this make sense in any possible universe?

http://foo.ca/wp/chick-tract-satire/hellenic-chick/

OK, now THAT makes sense.

 
 

How does this even happen?

Related.

 
 

“it would be booze”

or weed

 
 

Hey, the price of Cheetos and Mountain Dew are going up!

 
 

“perfectly-formed blockquotes”

They may be perfectly formed, but are they firm and do they occur at regular hours?

 
 

Are they too timid for the Kochs, or too inept?

Yes.

 
 

Related.

Anal T. House childhood home video?

 
 

“Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
April 13, 2011 at 0:53

How does this even happen?

Related.”

Firstly, I’m mad you beat me to this. B., I now want a Swedish baby. Can I get one at ikea?

 
 

But does it put the cursor between the inner brackets?

Fuckin’ brackets, how do they work?

 
 

The Nair© Fund

 
 

Cursor positioning:

::bq::<blockquote></blockquote>{LEFT 13}

 
 

Whoops, forgot the “O” for the sake of neatness:

:O:bq::<blockquote></blockquote>{LEFT 13}

 
 

Welcome to GOP Corners.

Home to the wise and powerful (other)Invisible Hand

 
 

Look out for the fuckin’ orbs!

Freakin’ feeble.

Here’s some orbs, damnit!
~

 
low sodium hunchback
 

Positioning the cursor.

 
 

I use the BBCode add-on for firefox, and it has a bunch of html tags in there.

So you get all natural tags.

 
 

I LOVE that firefox addon. Must use it 50 times a day. Wish there were some mobile equivalent.

 
 

All natural free range organic tags?

I may have been in Portland too long.

 
 

Sustainably harvested fair trade? From a local source?

 
 

I think the Firefox tags are 100% vegan too.

 
 

But does it put the cursor between the inner brackets?

it puts the cursor between the brackets or it gets the hose again.

 
 

Cage free? Vegan fed?

 
 

Substance McGravitas said,
April 13, 2011 at 1:45

REMEMBERING THE O.

SMcG’s O face or deconstructed goatse? Is there a difference?

 
 

It rubs the lotion on the free-range tags.

 
 

It’s true: Im pretty sure I learned about the Magical Tags from Substanceifthatishisrealname.

 
Lurking Canadian
 

Anybody else watching the Canadian leadership debate? Harper, dressed and coiffed to look exactly like a department store mannequin, is working the supply-side bullshit like old-school Reagan, but nobody’s calling him on it. Not even Layton called him on it. What will it take for that horseshit to go away? Can’t you at least keep it in the US? I am prepared to nail 95 theses to the door of parliament if that would do it.

 
 

Don’t bother. Just throw 95 feces like the rest of them do.

 
 

So she left the table one day and came back to find her fancy toy full of this.

How did the results compare with red wine?
AFAF.

 
low sodium hunchback
 

95 Feces

96 Tears

 
 

How did the results compare with red wine?

Red wine is much nicer than having your computer destroyed.

 
 

Gee whiz, I wish I’d made the cursor-centering blockquote before.

Woo hoo!

 
 

Red wine is much nicer than having your computer destroyed.

What if you poured red wine into your computer, Mister McGravitas (IF that is your real name!)?
~

 
 

95 Feces

96 Tears

99 Luft Balloons.

 
 

What if you poured red wine into your computer, Mister McGravitas (IF that is your real name!)?

If it diverted the trolley I think I could live with it.

 
 

vs said,
B., I now want a Swedish baby.

Perhaps I can help.

 
 

Thank God, maybe she can get a lip wax with that.

 
kate is tired of fighting the idiots
 

I have to learn to resist clicking the linkies that so many people here provide, there’s just some things I don’t need to know, there is bliss in some ignorance.

Now to get what I climbed all the way down here for, I held this quote carefully in hand and its getting all clammy and smelly, so let me share it, because I have an opinion:

And how come it never works the other way – extremists who want to force churches to accept guns are never afraid that their extremism will taint* the overall movement?

We just don’t have enough liberals willing to spend their hard earned dollars reframing the debate, largely because their ability to empathize with the commoner is no better than any other tycoon, trust funder or whatever other type of individual or group holds obscene amounts of money.

I read recently that at the UN thing on women, Billy Gates’ wife has decided to put their money toward women’s health internationally but they have decided to quietly skirt away from abortion.

When it comes to pissing off their social/financial peers or letting millions of women die horrible deaths in child birth, guess who wins?

 
low sodium hunchback
 

49 Reasons

 
 

Forgive me for sticking my big throbbing cynicism in here, but there’s a very high probability Mr/Ms Recently Unemployed is 100% fictional.

If memory serves previous contributions from rube- I mean readers also mention giving to the great cause despite personal dire straits.

Not that sort of thing won’t work, provided they tweak their approach a bit. The readers have been carefully trained to sneer at anyone who experiences misfortune. Lost your job? Should have worked harder/Free market/Welfare Leech/You think you’ve got it bad?/&c.

At the same time they’re deeply into majikal thinking and will buy anything, provided it fits their belief of how the world works. So I suggest the next made up letter from the next made up contributor should go something like this:

I was recently unemployed in the heartland of America but I sent you $50 anyway. The next day I pulled on my bootstraps and started a plumbing company staffed by 100% reaLAMEricans who only work FOR reaLAMEricans.

By the end of the week I was a millionaire, the nasty rash on the backs of my hands completely cleared up and Sarah Palin invited me to go hunting. Thanks for helping to protect my hard-earned fortune from the Demarxocrats!

 
 

99 Luft Balloons

♫Neun und neunzig luftballons♫

 
 

lolArky

 
 

I now want a Swedish baby. Can I get one at ikea?

prolly, but i think it would be a bitch to put together…

 
 

The fact is, the thneed is what everyone needs.

 
 

They’re preassembled in the room with the balls. Just grab one, they’re free!

 
 

They’re preassembled in the room with the balls. Just grab one, they’re free!

what room with the balls? i’ve been to ikea in bloomington a zillion times and have not seen the ball-filled room…what’s up with that?

 
 

I have grabbed many balls in my life but never found a free one

Wuuuuut?

 
 

from the comments in sub’s link (not the maggie one):

If Obasma dares to cut Social Security, I will absolutely NOT vote for him. Period. IF he wants to be a traitor to our Democratic Party, I will not support him. I will write in Howard Dean instead. I have drawn my line in the sand. Now we wait to see what kind of Democrat he is or isn’t.

that was ‘marvc’ and boy is he pissed!!! obama better watch out now!

 
 

Maggie disappeared in one on The Simpsons once.

this would explain why i did not know of the ball-room…i have always been toddler-free while visiting ikea…

 
 

that was ‘marvc’ and boy is he pissed!!! obama better watch out now!

He’d really better. “Obama wants to destroy your Social Security” is a message that can be used.

 
 

He’d really better. “Obama wants to destroy your Social Security” is a message that can be used.

by both sides…he could really screw the pooch with this one…

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

39 steps.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

12 angry men.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

5 easy pieces

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

With 6 you get egg roll

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

You only live twice

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Nine lives of Fritz the Cat

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Once upon a mattress

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Less than zero

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

The postman always rings twice

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Ingot my kicks on route 66

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

7 days in may

 
 

Three Coins in the Fountain

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Three days of the condor

 
 

seven

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Born on the fourth of July

 
 

jon stewart…still my hero…he just called donald trump a fuckwad…

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Ocean’s 11/12/13 and the sequel, Ocean’s n+1

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

The seventh seal. Who also appeared in March of the penguins.

 
 

8 days under

 
 

The 400 Blows, which is some kind of record for a movie.

 
Lurking Canadian
 

15 men on a dead man’s chest

 
 

3 musketeers

 
 

2 for the road

 
Lurking Canadian
 

1 is the loneliest number

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

Two Thousand Maniacs!

 
 

50 ways to leave your lover.

 
 

American Pi

win…

 
 

The 400 Blows, which is some kind of record for a movie.

Or a weekend.

 
 

i think i just saw a mountain lion outside my house…!

Stick a caption on it, that’ll make it cute and funny and not scary at all.

 
 

Stick a caption on it, that’ll make it cute and funny and not scary at all.

you are a big help, mr…and one of my dogs has not come back…she is dipshitty enough to try to play with it…

 
 

The 7th Voyage of Sinbad.

 
 

Believe it or not, I could actually make K-Lo look cute. Photoshop is a wonderful scary thing.

Fixed.

 
 

101 Dalmatians.

 
 

Robin and the 7 Hoods.

 
low sodium hunchback
 

8 1/2

and

Butterfield 8

 
 

10,000 maniacs

 
 

The Dirty Dozen

 
 

2001 A Space Odyssey.

 
 

i think i just saw a mountain lion outside my house

Nah, it was prolly just a big kitteh.

In other words, I think you’re lion.

(stay safe)

 
 

i think i just saw a mountain lion outside my house

Mountains seem more to stand. Low, rolling hills lie.

 
 

25 or 6 to 4

 
 

3/5 of a mile in 10 seconds

 
 

Nah, it was prolly just a big kitteh.

In other words, I think you’re lion.

i am going to look for tracks in the morning…even though we are in mn, we have had sightings over the past year…cripes, even coyotes scare the liver out of me, so if i came up close to anything bigger, i would probably poop my pants…i found the other dog…she went out to the kennel…i’ll have a full report of the tracks or lack thereof later this morning…

 
 

TinTin, here’s the perfect K-Lo Tweet to go with this story.
http://www.dependablerenegade.com/dependable_renegade/2011/04/k-lo-after-dark.html

 
 

8 mile

 
 

Eight days a week

 
 

Magnificent Seven – or The Seven Ronin (original)

 
 

By the way, AWESOME mural of the seven ronin on the Toho Movie Studios Lot in Setagaya, Tokyo. (must find pic)

 
 

found here, but scroll down…

 
 

Central Ohio sailed the ocean blue
in fourteen hundred and ninety two

 
 

OU812

 
 

I have grabbed many balls in my life but never found a free one

Pull harder.

 
 

Also, THX-1138.

 
 

I’ve heard of giving a million thanks, but not eleven-hundred thirty-eight.

 
 

Seven Screaming Diz-Busters

 
 

Eight Nought One

 
 

Tapping foot impatiently . . . waiting for someone to notice . . . hello? Anyone there? (Hint: think Oscar Wilde.)

 
 

$50 guy

Applebee’s salad bar guy

Friedman’s cabbie

All. One. Dood.

He’s also Megan McArdle’s anonymous fellow bus passenger, who for some reason got into a conversation with a chilly white economics “expert” and lamented to her at length about what his people had done to their own neighborhoods, etc.

 
 

010=nothing at all

 
 

I just saw a lion preview!

 
 

Tapping foot impatiently . . . waiting for someone to notice . . . hello? Anyone there? (Hint: think Oscar Wilde.)

Not ugly enough.

 
kate is tired of fighting the idiots
 

Dear Ms. Lopez:

I am sending you the $50 left over from my week’s pay working at McDonalds. I have to tell you that this came out of my food budget for the three kids for the week, I told them we are spending the rest of the month with one loaf of white bread and one jar of peanut butter because supporting your cause is so important.

You and your site have been an inspiration to me. All three of my children are learning the value of hard work everyday. I can’t tell you what they do to supplement our income but believe me, you’d be proud to know no one in this family is mooching off the government.

We also don’t mind if our landlord doesn’t fix the plumbing or do minor maintenance because we realize that when we save up enough money with our hard work, we can use the market to make our statement when we buy a new house outside of town. I scan the market pages and have sent in for one of those “Buy Houses on Foreclosure” kits you see on TV.

You are right, hard work and perserverence pays off and we’re living proof. Also, I have decided that next year I’m taking my kids out of school as education beyond the seventh grade for the working classes like myself is totally unnecessary. Time to get to work!

Thanks so much!

PS — hurry up and cash the check before the bank fees eat up the money, I know its important to share our hard earned money with the hard-earned banking trade, but in this instance, I think your site should come first.

 
 

Well, T&U is getting warm. . .

 
 

1066 And All That

 
 

The Three Amigos

 
 

Tintin, I tend not to look at the pictures after the first time(because they’re very funny but also usually more than a little horrifying), but YEESH, withered, wrinkled, and loathsome of visage indeed.

 
 

Beverly Hills 90210

 
 

1040
W2
1099

 
 

Shorter Scott Johnson:

Today I will tell a high school class that while not all (but merely most) criminals are blacks, all blacks are criminals.

 
 

Number five is alive.

 
kate is tired of fighting the idiots
 

24-7
4-20
13
1984
2001 Space Odditty, or Odd-Titty

 
kate is tired of fighting the idiots
 

one two buckle my shoe

 
kate is tired of fighting the idiots
 

three four
K-Lo on the floor

 
kate is tired of fighting the idiots
 

five six
doing cheap tricks

 
 

BR 549

 
kate is tired of fighting the idiots
 

seven eight
the cops told her straight

 
kate is tired of fighting the idiots
 

nine ten
go to jail if you do it again

 
 

311

 
 

2BRNO2B

I had a personal license plate once that read, “2BRNT2B.”

It wasn’t until about a month later I realized it could read, “Too burnt to be.”

Which, quite frankly, was totes fitting, but not exactly the message I intended to send to the Overland Park Police department …

 
kate is tired of fighting the idiots
 

Oh you kids are really something else. I have no idea what you are doing, but hey, throw me the ball.

 
 

From mark f’s link:

“Although Harris accused me of not talking to him before writing the article, I have an autographed copy of his book that refutes him. He signed it as we ate lunch together preceding his talk to a huge conference of high school teachers in Bloomington, Minnesota”

I have an autographed copy of “An Inconvenient Truth.” This proves that Al Gore and I are bestest friends.

 
 

Today I will tell a high school class that while not all (but merely most) criminals are blacks, all blacks are criminals.

A 2004 survey by the federal Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration showed that 44% of crack users were black while 80% of those convicted for crack use were black. When the current system basically makes it a crime to be black then yeah, all blacks are criminals. The earliest drug laws were all passed with definite racial intent and that tradition is still prevalent today.

 
 

Today I will tell a high school class that while not all (but merely most) criminals are blacks, all blacks are criminals.

Oh, how I wish that motherfuckers like this one could turn black for just one week.

 
 

The earliest drug laws were all passed with definite racial intent and that tradition is still prevalent today.

Johnson includes a link to an article he wrote on the subject. In it he actually makes the argument that crime rates always skewing against blacks is proof that laws or law enforcement aren’t racist. It’s almost like he’s ignoring a large portion of this country’s history for some reason!

 
 

I have no idea what you are doing, but hey, throw me the ball.

That’s ok, we have no idea what we’re doing either… Catch!

 
 

Unfortunately many of my attempts at “shorters” are less reductio ad absurdum mockeries than legitimate abstracts of the original.

 
 

You are Number Six!

 
kate is tired of fighting the idiots
 

I have heard said and read that many studies show (and this can be proved by anecdote as well by those who knows those parts of the social system) that most people of color in poorer areas are charged for selling drugs to a mostly white clientele, who are the primary consumers.

Pretty much the same as the prostitution trades, which serves a mostly middle class clientele that comes into the inner city for the purpose of using prostitutes, illegal gambling or drug purchasing.

Its an underground economy supported by poor people, disproportionately people of color who also disproportionately suffer the “laws” that are supposed to break the consumption cycle.

Funny how that works — free marketeers in theory — mostly whitie middle class and above, love the free market but support a system in which regulation is imposed as use of government funded laws and enforcement to perpetrate a social stigma/myth about the white middle class and further class/color line separation – destruction of community by criminal code, permanent felony status and incarceration.

 
 

have an autographed copy of “An Inconvenient Truth.” This proves that Al Gore and I are bestest friends.

Danny Gatton signed one of his albums for me. This proves I am a telecaster monster. And when Fuentes signed my copy of “La Cabeza de la Hidra” I turned Mexican.

(Only two times in my life I asked for graphs)

 
 

Oh, how I wish that motherfuckers like this one could turn black for just one week.

I bet if you leave him in the fridge for a couple of days, like a banana he will turn black.

 
 

96 degrees in the shade, 10,000 soldiers on parade.

(We hot!)

 
 

have an autographed copy of “An Inconvenient Truth.” This proves that Al Gore and I are bestest friends.

Danny Gatton signed one of his albums for me. This proves I am a telecaster monster

You guys aren’t being fair. Besides having an autographed copy of Harris’s book, Johnson saw Harris speak once and talked about it with other people after. MOAR PROOF.

 
 

what kind of moral sludge can advocate policies that will fatten the wallets of millionaires and throw the middle class out of their jobs and then take money from some unemployed guy?

I dunno, but that particular unemployed guy gets no sympathy from me. Frankly, if he’s that fucking dumb he deserves to get taken.

 
 

Also: the trouble with trying to do a Dorian Gray p-shop of K-Lo is that, like Frau Farbissina, she has always looked the way she does, and always will.

 
 

Several NRO pledge drives ago one of their small donors thanked them for fighting Obamacare, which was sure to make his life worse once his COBRA ran out next week.

 
 

Hmmm, let’s see…A recently unemployed person donates $50 to ASW. Who wants to bet that money came from his unemployment check? So ASW is accepting donations paid for by our tax dollars. They don’t see a slight bit of hypocrisy here?

 
 

actor Two-Twelve

 
 

TK-421, why aren’t you at your post?

 
 

telecaster monster

Specs?

Mine’s an ’84 Japanese standard.

 
 

oscar wilde quotes all pertinent to: nro, its readers and k-lo

“No man is rich enough to buy back his past.”

“Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.”

“A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is invariably plain.”

“The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing.”
— “The Soul of Man Under Socialism”

“Most men and women are forced to perform parts for which they have no qualification.”
— “Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime”

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”*
— “An Ideal Husband”

*vmr

 
 

Also pertinent to NROers: “I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone.”

 
 

Pretty much the same as the prostitution trades, which serves a mostly middle class clientele that comes into the inner city for the purpose of using prostitutes, illegal gambling or drug purchasing.

Somewhat related post: anybody seen the movie “Taken?” I saw it pretty recently and did enjoy it, but was still slightly irritated at the way the story was set up, with the wealthy upper class American girl being kidnapped and sold to an Arab sheikh.

Reality tends to be the other way around. The girls tend to be kidnapped/sold/enticed from lower-class environments in the third world, Eastern Europe and the like, and sold to rich clients in the West rather than the other way around.

(Although, there is a sizable market that goes just to “satisfying” the Saudi royals, and I’m sure some of them have a fetish for white girls – still, I’d find it much more likely for those girls to come from dirt-poor parts of societies, rather than kidnapped rich girls).

Okay. Rant at complete work of fiction over. Sorry. Still a good movie. 24 meets Liam Neeson = winning.

 
 

I also liked the part where the couch protected him from machine gun fire, and when he killed a bad guy by shooting him in the shin.

 
 

TK-421, why aren’t you at your post?

WINNING!

 
 

Somewhat related post: anybody seen the movie “Taken?” I saw it pretty recently and did enjoy it, but was still slightly irritated at the way the story was set up, with the wealthy upper class American girl being kidnapped and sold to an Arab sheikh.

ya know, everyone i’ve talked to loves this movie…i couldn’t bear to watch anymore after the kidnapping…the writing was awful, as were the stereotypical characters and the acting…if you all say things pick up after the kidnapping, i will give it another try since i adore! liam neeson…if not, i will remain disppointed in him and think of him only in ‘schindler’s list’ and ‘love actually’ and forget that he felt the need to make ‘taken…’

 
 

BBKF,

It stays bad and stereotypical throughout, but that’s what makes it fun (you know the type of action movie I’m sure). Things “pick up” after the kidnapping, in the sense that the rest of the movie is Liam Neeson killing a bunch of people who really deserve it, like a season of 24 concentrated into one two-hour movie.

It’s one of Neeson’s post-reinvention-as-action-star movies. Some people like the reinvention, others don’t. He’ll definitely never make anything as good as “Schindler’s List” again, but that’s a bar that’s just about impossible to top.

 
 

After the kidnapping the movie is almost 100% Neeson kicking various asses. And I mean that literally: there’s no boring and overlong interrogations, no surveillance mumbo jumbo, no endless car chases . . . in fact, not even really any tension. Neeson just walks into a room, kills people, and moves to the next set piece. Even the sentimentality of the reunion is tossed aside; the rescue & return of his daughter is, like, two minutes long.

 
low sodium hunchback
 

That last p-shop of K-Lo is horrifying.

4 o’clock Blues.
Also, too.

 
 

Specs?

Mine’s an ’84 Japanese standard.

I was freed from my pre-CBS sunburst w/binding Tele by a robbery which also relieved me of my ’55 Gibson lap steel and my Fender 75. It is amazing how little I miss them. I am mostly an upright bass player now hence ‘guitarist manqué’. Still have all my acoustic instruments. The stomp boxes especially I will never miss.

 
 

1 O’clock Jump

 
 

That last p-shop of K-Lo is horrifying.

Have you seen a picture of K-Load that isn’t horrifying?

 
 

well, gentlemen, i will take your comments to heart and watchi it again with a different mind-set…if there’s lots of killing and action in the 2nd 1/2, teh hubby will prolly watch it as well…he saw the first part also, and was ‘meh…’

 
 

I am mostly an upright bass player now

Ooh, just yesterday I bought a EUB. Hurt my back too many times humping* the doghouse up and down stairs so the rental goes back and we commit to the ‘lectric. I know you’re not supposed to be made happy by things but I has a happy.

*go ahead, you know you want to.

 
 

That last p-shop of K-Lo is horrifying.

this is one instance where ‘redeye’ would be a feature not a bug…

 
 

You would think that with all the various veiled references that go on around here my time on Sadly, No! would exempt me from such things. But alas, I must now go the the companies mandatory annual sexual harrassment class and learn how to do it right.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Humping the doghouse.

Wait, that’s not even a euphemism!

 
 

sexual harrassment class and learn how to do it right.

…remember, it’s only sexual harrassment if you don’t enjoy it!

 
 

Re: EUB’s : They make flying easier. I’d be interested to hear how you like it 6 mos. from now. The idea of paying lots extra for “pick-up, on-board EQ and mixer” is very hard for me to wrap my head around. Never knew any of those to be a good thing.

 
 

I don’t know why they just don’t let us watch this educational video.

 
 

David Byrne forces Charlie Crist to kiss his ass. Who’s on the road to nowhere now bitch?
http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/scarce/david-byrne-brilliantly-and-gratuitously-hu

 
 

If six were nine

 
 

Farhenheit 451

 
 

911 is a joke.

 
 

Three fingers tequila

 
 

plan nine from outerspace

 
 

The idea of paying lots extra for “pick-up, on-board EQ and mixer” is very hard for me to wrap my head around.

My horrible old electric guitar has one pickup, straight out.

 
 

10 A.M. Automatic

E5150

Nine Below Zero

She’s Nineteen Year’s Old (many versions of this, but other than Muddy’s original, this one is my favorite)

And, because I know everybody around here just loves Steely Dan (VDR):
Hey Nineteen

I left off the link on purpose. You’re welcome.

 
 

Humping the doghouse.

Wait, that’s not even a euphemism!

To quote you, (Pupimax), from a couple of threads back; “It’s a way of life.”

 
 

The idea of paying lots extra for “pick-up, on-board EQ and mixer” is very hard for me to wrap my head around.

Not sure I follow. My bass has just the passive pickup. As to paying lots extra, I got it new for about the price of a used plywood bass.

I’ll be interested to see what I think in six months too but right now I’m optimistic.

 
 

I know everybody around here just loves Steely Dan

Hey! That was my soundtrack through my college years. Be very careful here…

 
 

36 Chambers of Shaolin

77South

 
 

Not sure I follow.

I followed your link. Upwards of $1600 for active pick-up, on-board with knobs on. Owww. Passive, used, bargain, vale la pena.

My horrible old electric guitar has one pickup, straight out.

I’ll quote Peter Tosh; “I get I sound out of any guitar.”

 
 

Can’t wait for McMegan’s take on the Kwanzaa cake.

 
 

Can’t wait for McMegan’s take on the Kwanzaa cake.

Ah hahahaha!

Seriously, I am of the “chop up a lot of stuff and put it in a pan and over rice/pasta/whatever” school of cooking, and her cooking makes mine look like Thomas freaking Keller’s.

Also, “straining the stock,” too.

 
 

Getting sound out of the guitar

 
 

Also, I am still amused by her macaroni and cheese “recipe,” which has more cheese sauce than pasta, and says that you “can even use spaghetti” for it.

No. No, you can’t.

 
 

Also, I am still amused by her macaroni and cheese “recipe,” which has more cheese sauce than pasta, and says that you “can even use spaghetti” for it.

Does she use Velveeta, because it melts more easily?

Also, the cake may be a lie, but compared to her other bullshit, it’s small potatoes.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Hey you nigras and spics stop calling us racist!

 
 

Hey! That was my soundtrack through my college years. Be very careful here…

I’m not one to judge — they’re one of those “background to my younger years” bands that I know every song of. I just thought I vaguely remembered people here hating on them before… A quick search only revealed this historic gem from Gavin.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Slaughter on 10th Avenue
[envisioning McMegan’s lifeless body oozing gore from every pore]

 
 

Also, the cake may be a lie, but compared to her other bullshit, it’s small potatoes.

I know. I just hate people who have money and big kitchens and too many gadgets who either, a) don’t cook, or b) (and even worse) think they can cook and lecture the plebes about not using freshly-ground black pepper and fancy salt. It’s just a distillation of everything that is wrong with her stupid ass.

 
 

Does she use Velveeta, because it melts more easily?

Not in this recipe, but I do remember that another recipe she uses has American cheese in it. And I think that one has TWO pounds of cheese to one pound of pasta.

 
 

TruculentandUnreliable said,

April 13, 2011 at 18:31

You’d think among all that extraneous kitchen crap, this fucking idiot would have a FUCKING OFFSET SPATULA.

LOL.

McMeegan would be the funniest ‘gone Galt’ reality show ever. I predict she’d last less than 5 minutes on her own in the forest.
~

 
 

I got to the bit where she’s talking about how hard it was for great grammaw to cream the butter and sugar together because she didn’t know what a cup was and had to bail before I threw the computer out the window. Plus, her kitchen looks like a junk shop. Also too: hair, it’s what’s for dinner.

 
 

I predict she’d last less than 5 minutes on her own in the forest.

I can just see her, wandering around bemusedly looking for a place to plug in her blow dryer.

 
 

Hey, wanna watch someone’s soul die before your very eyes?

(Apologies to any here who happen to be stuck in Tennessee.)

 
low sodium hunchback
 

Creaming the butter and sugar.

 
 

The microwaved-to-death asparagus in Substance’s mcMegan link reminded me of a conversation I just had with a family member:

Them: “Sorry, all I could get at the store was these tiny delicate little asparagus, they didn’t have any of the good thick ones.”

Me (aghast): “Thank FSM, those asparagus tree trunks are fucking awful!”

Them (aghast): “What!? They’re the best!”

We agreed to disagree.

So: Skinny asparagus or fat asparagus? What say the all-knowing Sadly Food Snobs?

 
 

Not a snob, but skinny asparagus is better.

 
 

I got to the bit where she’s talking about how hard it was for great grammaw to cream the butter and sugar together because she didn’t know what a cup was and had to bail before I threw the computer out the window.

I got a laugh out of that as well- the absolute measures don’t mean a damn thing if the proportions are right. Plus, I can’t bake to save my life (kilt more yeast than Monistat), but even I know that the amount of flour needed depends on external factors such as humidity.

And need I say the cake she finally ended up with was craptastic?

 
low sodium hunchback
 

Skinny asparagus or fat asparagus?

Depends what you’re gonna put them in.

 
low sodium hunchback
 

I’m 1 fer 500.

 
 

Skinny asparagus or fat asparagus?

Skinny. There’s no excuse for fat asparagus.

 
 

Depends what you’re gonna put them in.

LOL. Yeah, I left that one wide open, so to speak.

 
 

In my garden the first sweet asparagus of the season come up so fat you’d think it’s a fucking tree, but it’s not at all tough as long as you pick it in time and don’t wait to cook it. They get thinner as the season continues and by the time they’re pencil thin you need to go ahead and let them go so they can feed the roots.

 
 

I like skinny sauteed up, but you can do yummy stuff with the big-ass ones, too. Like grill them. They’re better if you cut off the woody parts (heh).

 
 

#

Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

April 13, 2011 at 18:28 (kill)

36 Chambers of Shaolin

77South

B^4

Slaughter on Tenth Avenue

And that was written before the hookers set up shop there.

 
 

So not only does my Richie Havens-autographed bar napkin prove I was at Woodstock, my poster signed by Roy Salvadori proves I won Le Mans in 1959, three years before I was born. Irrefutable, bitches!

 
 

I like skinny sauteed up, but you can do yummy stuff with the big-ass ones, too. Like grill them. They’re better if you cut off the woody parts (heh).

And need I say the cake she finally ended up with was craptastic?

I like how she didn’t have enough whipped cream and just kind of plopped the top layer on the bottom layer. Which should have been cut down so that the top part would lie flat, but whatever. And it looked like she used a set of car keys to get the cakes out of the pans. Why she didn’t use parchment paper and a springform pan on the “modern” one at least, I do not know.

And if she was really trying to illustrate modern conveniences, she should have just bought freaking cake flour.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Skinny asparagus, unless you’re really fond of tasteless watery things. (Is it possible to cook fat asparagus without it getting watery?)

 
 

I like how she didn’t have enough whipped cream and just kind of plopped the top layer on the bottom layer.

To be fair, she didn’t have access to reliable measuring implements.

 
 

To be fair, she didn’t have access to reliable measuring implements.

Her measuring cup doesn’t go that high.

 
 

And that was written before the hookers set up shop there.

THERE ARE HOOKERS IN MANHATTAN???!?!?

I’m scandalized.

 
 

Her measuring cup doesn’t go that high.

She could have used one of those newfangled S.E. Cupps.

 
 

I do give her credit for not pronouncing the T in “often.” That doesn’t sound like much but far too many people who should know better stick it in there.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

She could have used one of those newfangled S.E. Cupps.

This has reduced me to helpless giggles.

 
 

She could have used one of those newfangled S.E. Cupps.

If the size is based on cranial capacity, that’s no use to anyone.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

N__B, sometimes recipes call for “a smidgen” or “a tiny pinch,” so the Sippy Cupp might work for that…

 
low sodium hunchback
 

Cups that go to 11?

 
 

N__B, sometimes recipes call for “a smidgen” or “a tiny pinch,” so the Sippy Cupp might work for that…

And yet, when I ask the bartender if I can have a tiny pinch, I get 86ed.

 
 

And that was written before the hookers set up shop there.

yes…they call them ‘bankers’

 
 

J. Crew: Making your sons gay, one pink toenail at a time

related

sigh…

 
 

‘gone Galt’ reality show

Oh, Lord. How do we make this happen?

Survivor! Expirer!

 
 

Car 54, Where Are You?

 
 

J. Crew: Making your sons gay, one pink toenail at a time

related

I have this image of islamofascistgheys committing acts of terrorism by grabbing men, removing their shoes, painting their toenails, and then laughing maniacally as their victims’ external genitalia fall off.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Having teh ghey makes your dick fall off????

 
 

Having teh ghey makes your dick fall off????

No, but apparently having your toenails painted does.

 
 

“I have this image of islamofascistgheys committing acts of terrorism by grabbing men, removing their shoes, painting their toenails, and then laughing maniacally as their victims’ external genitalia fall off.”

That would never happen, silly. The victim would simply sashay to the nearest house and rearrange the furniture.

 
 

Three of a perfect pair
4 and 20 blackbirds
10cc
Hawaii five-o
76 Trombones
77 Sunset Strip
1 Million BC
Infiniti G Sedan

 
 

genitalia fall off.

genitalia gone galt!!!

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

*sigh*

LISSENUP MOFOS
Skinny spargles are great. You can do anything you like with them. (yes, _anything_). You can even do things you don’t like. Fat asparagus, which in German would be dick spargles, I think, are also great. If you want to steam them go ahead but DON’T FUCKING WASTE HALF OF IT BY BREAKING OFF THE “WOODY”* ENDS. PEEL THOSE BITCHES WITH A VEGGIE PEELER GODDAMNIT. You can grill them for wonderful effect. You can make soup – ahhh, creamy asparagus soup, yumyum. How about a rice fucking salad with asparagus? HUH? HOW FUCKING ABOUT IT?

*not a VanythingR

 
 

hey, a toofer!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZno2p5mONU

(sorry, smg, no bbcodextra on chrome)

 
 

Don’t know how they prepare it, but a local Brazilian steakhouse has a white asparagus at the salad bar that is better than any green asparagus I have ever eaten.

 
 

And yet, when I ask the bartender if I can have a tiny pinch, I get 86ed.

He thought you were coming on to him. Must’ve been the pink toenails.

I have this image of islamofascistgheys committing acts of terrorism by grabbing men, removing their shoes, painting their toenails, and then laughing maniacally as their victims’ external genitalia fall off.

It’s not unprecedented.

 
 

4 and 20 blackbirds

A pot pie?

Never made the 4+20 connection before…

 
 

Smedley, they pile up straw or leaves around it or wrap it in burlap or something similar so the chlorophyll doesn’t develop.

 
 

Three of a perfect pair

Ooh! TB, that’s one of my all time fave Crimson albums! haven’t been able to find it online.

 
 

Stunting the chlorophyll.

 
 

36 Chambers of Shaolin

77South

B^4

Slaughter on Tenth Avenue

And that was written before the hookers set up shop there.

Been busy all day. did I miss anything?

 
 

“Smedley, they pile up straw or leaves around it or wrap it in burlap or something similar so the chlorophyll doesn’t develop.”

Now I’m torn. I didn’t know white asparagus was the veal of the vegetable world….

 
 

Incident on 57th Street

 
 

Been busy all day. did I miss anything?

A discussion of the beauties of K-Lo.

 
 

A discussion of the beauties of K-Lo.
A very short discussion I can only assume.

 
 

LISSENUP MOFOS

The Emperor has spoken!

Thanks PM. I figured at the time that I’d probably never had properly-cooked fat asparagus, biasing me toward the svelte ones. The family member I was discussing this with is not particularly gifted in the culinary arts.

 
 

from n_b’s link:
She then striped herself of her under garments,

?!?!?

 
 

Always on topic: Somebody fucked WordPress

Couldn’t have happened to a nicer platform.

 
 

Orly Taitz’s genitalia have not fallen off:

Mine just might have- gotta check!

 
 

hackers gained root access to its servers and made off with sensitive code belonging to it and its partners.

i call bullshit…there is nothing *sensitive* about wp…it is a cold, merciless, bitch (or prick)

…and in this reposting, almost as if to prove my poing…fywp, i am NOT posting comments too quickly…

 
 

dammit…find the typo and say what you will…stooopid fingernails!

 
 

proving the poing

 
 

dammit…find the typo and say what you will…stooopid fingernails!

I blame WordPress.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

“prove my poing”

How do you prove your Ikea chair?

 
 

<i.How do you prove your Ikea chair?

the fact that it is made in a socialist country is central to my poing!!!

 
 

effing tag fail!!! that’s it…i don’t care how much these fingernails cost me, they are coming off tonight!!!

 
 

Mine just might have- gotta check!

well…are they still there or not?!?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Way OT, Pat Robertson thinks everyone is a homo. Apparently.

 
 

How do you prove your Ikea chair?

You don’t have to. You just state it as fact and if the dirty libruls can’t disprove (or even if they can) it then it becomes fact.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

In the interest of maintaining an appropriate level of sex harassment here at the S,N!

BBBB – I can help you with that.

 
 

BBBB – I can help you with that.

perpetuating the plague

 
 

In the interest of maintaining an appropriate level of sex harassment here at the S,N!

It’s better than sex neglect…

BBBB – I can help you with that.

It doesnt’ quite reach to Portland.

 
 

“It doesnt’ quite reach to Portland.”

Oh my. Did they ever find that missing snake?

 
 

Jonah Goldberg is reviewing Obama’s deficit speech and is fine form.

Shorter first thought:

Obama’s speech was a bunch of lies. Everyone else already said that so I won’t bother saying anything substantive except Obama’s a l00zer socialist.

Shorter second thought:

This reminds me of a Simpsons quote.

Jonah reminds me of the time the Red Sox let Ted Williams, Jr. play single-A ball for a little while, except if they let him play first base at Fenway forever and he thought he was an All Star.

 
 

Dear Ms. Lopez:
I am sending you the plums that were in the icebox and which I was saving for breakfast.
————————-
Relevant recipe thread:
I am surprised by the absence of Janusnode and Goatse in that thread. Those were innocent days.

What is the asparagus equivalent of limoncello?

 
 

My bad; his name was John Henry Williams:

In 2002, at the age of 33, John Henry entered pro baseball, with Ted pulling strings to get him onto the Red Sox’s rookie team in the Gulf Coast League. Dubbed “The Kid’s Kid” by the media, John Henry had his father’s build but none of his baseball talent: after just two games (where he failed to get a hit in six at-bats), he broke two ribs crashing into the stands in an attempt to catch a foul ball, ending his season.

Stupid stands and their liberal bias.

 
 

Oh my. Did they ever find that missing snake?

Yes, it was delicious!

What is the asparagus equivalent of limoncello?

Pisschifo

 
 

There are some pretty godawful liqueurs in the Italian boozecopeia.

 
 

It was an amazing about-face for a guy who ran in 2008 on a “yes we can” message of fundamentally “transforming” America. Now the philosophical thrust of his approach is that we must not change the America we “grew up with.”

uhhhhh…not a big surprise, here, j-do…some transformation could have taken place, had not a certain group of people not been ablsolute douchebags about the fact that obama dare wake up everymorning…

also, too…isn’t the party of no the same party who wants things to stay the same and yearn for the good ol’ days?

 
 

This reminds me of a Simpsons quote.

Don’t tell me.

“Smithers, that anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost us the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That’s democracy for you!”

 
 

The guy who promised to close Gitmo, halve the deficit, rescind the Bush tax cuts, end cynicism and gridlock etc.,

you know what i would really, really like to see? obama walking into congress and saying, ‘lissen up, mofo’s!’ and then going all rambo on their asses until they stfu…

 
 

also, too…isn’t the party of no the same party who wants things to stay the same and yearn for the good ol’ days?

Well, in the good ol’ days, the unions were strong and regulations on multinationals were stringent (including tariffs). I don’t see too many politicians seeking to reinstate those.

 
 

Jonah’s also lying about Obama’s 2008 campaign, which was never about “fundamentally ‘transforming’ America” (why Jonah’s quotes around “transforming”? Is that from an Obama/Biden poster?), but “yes we can [get to the America Reagan told us we grew up with].”

 
 

Well, in the good ol’ days, the unions were strong and regulations on multinationals were stringent (including tariffs). I don’t see too many politicians seeking to reinstate those.

this is true…but there’s lots of other stuff they still want to go back to!

 
 

OGG! joe soucheray has just stated that he would like to see a pawlenty/trump ticket…and his sychophant second banana said he would ‘be down with that’

 
 

It was an amazing about-face for a guy who ran in 2008 on a “yes we can” message of fundamentally “transforming” America. Now the philosophical thrust of his approach is that we must not change the America we “grew up with.”

Jesus fucking Christ, he really thinks people are morons, doesn’t he? “Yes we can” was about making the country better, not blowing away the entire fucking budget is about not letting the Republicans make it so much worse it’s unrecognizable. The fact that he hasn’t exploded in a flaming ball of his own methane is all the proof you need there’s no God.

 
 

Fenwick Update / Short Story

Hello again.

I’m in good shape, healing well, and resuming my normal activities. (Yesterday, for example, I resumed my volunteer work at the Library.)

I didn’t read the thread. Instead I scrolled down slowly, looking at the nyms of the Sadlies, and wishing I could write more now and engage in the near future. Here’s summary of what happened.

Last December, I went to the ER at the VA Hospital in Baltimore, and I was diagnosed with an umbilical hernia, in which the intestines are at risk of rupturing through the navel.

My state was not advanced; I followed precautions to minimize risks by reinforcing my stomach muscles with one hand before involuntary movements (e.g., sneezing, coughing, hiccuping)…and during body movement involving those muscles.

Injury and Repair

About three weeks ago, after re-lighting a water-heater pilot light late on Sunday night, I failed to take any precautions and stood up far too hastily; the hernia ruptured. I knew it immediately; sent a few e-mails to family & friends, made one phone call, then called 911 for an ambulance.

I was taken to the ER of Johns Hopkins (Bayview) hospital; within an hour I was taken into emergency surgery to repair an “acute strangulated umbilical hernia”. (That is, the displacement of the intestines produces kinks; the tissues are ‘strangulated’ for loss of blood.)

[Peek inside My Head:] A week before the rupture, I turned 62. I’ve never had surgery before, not even trivial. In the phone call to my sister ((in KC. Hiya, T&U!)) before I went into the OR, one of the surgeons said I “seemed apprehensive”. Understatement, folks.]

The repair involved major surgery: a longish ventral incision opening the abdomial cavity and cutting the major muscles. In my case, the procedure took three hours: the surgeons removed some intestinal tissue that was dead from blood starvation; re-sectioned the healthy tissues; re-arranged the displaced and repaired intestines; placed a reinforcing internal mesh; and, closed and stapled. After observation in Intensive Care, I was transported to the recovery ward where I woke up.

Recovery …. and Burglary

I spent six days on the recovery ward, followed by two weeks home recovery. The staples came out last Friday.

I suffered another injury: During the period of my hospital stay, my home was burglarized. There wasn’t much for them to steal, but they got my computers. I don’t know when I’ll be able to purchase a new machine; it’s largely contingent on the medical bills.

I hadn’t backed up in about sixth months or a year–Luddite, remember?–so I lost a LOT of recent work (including all my work on the Duchy).

So that’s the situation. I can’t engage; and I don’t know when I will be able to. (I’m using a friend’s computer to write this.)

I’ve missed this place and the Sadlies for a month. I’m okay. Have fun!

— Fenwick

 
 

also, too…isn’t the party of no the same party who wants things to stay the same and yearn for the good ol’ days?

Well, in the good ol’ days, the unions were strong and regulations on multinationals were stringent (including tariffs). I don’t see too many politicians seeking to reinstate those.

And yet notice how the decade that’s always held up as “the good old days” in the last century is always the 1950s, never the 1920s.

I’d say a lot of those guys do miss the economics of the time. They’re just ignorant enough to attribute the prosperity to some fuzzy combination of “free markets” and “traditional values,” and its collapse to the DFHs.

 
 

“There are some pretty godawful liqueurs in the Italian boozecopeia.”

Cynar is awesome.

 
 

59 Les Paul said,

April 13, 2011 at 19:27 (kill)

My signed, limited edition Mekons prints and woodcuts PROVE that I AM LESTER BANGS, BITCHEZ!

 
 

THERE ARE HOOKERS IN MANHATTAN???!?!?

I’m scandalized.

perhaps you should borrow vs’ fainting couch.

 
 

My signed, limited edition Mekons prints and woodcuts PROVE that I AM LESTER BANGS, BITCHEZ!

So, umm, what does my “Weird Al” Yankovic autographed cocktail napkin mean?

 
 

also, too…the daughter is ‘special’ so that’s why i think it’s awesome that she is able to join…

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

“Possible indictment?”

He committed no crime. It was not intended to be a factual statement.

 
 

Holy hell, Fenwick, it makes me wonder if s Sadlython might help.

 
 

I’ve missed this place and the Sadlies for a month. I’m okay. Have fun!

A friend of yours posted a comment about the injury and subsequent burglary… Wow, you’ve had a rough go of it. It’s good to hear from you.

 
 

Fenwick–Glad you’re on the mend, sorry about the burglary. Hopefully you will be able to jump back into the kddie pool here soon.

I had umbillical hernia surgery about 5 years ago, so I know what you’re going through–a whole big pile o’ no-frikkin’ fun!

Heal up soon

 
 

perhaps you should borrow vs’ fainting couch.

I did, but it’s out on loan to a hooker now.

Holy hell, Fenwick, it makes me wonder if s Sadlython might help.

Yeah, get the Duchy up and running, and let us know what we can do. In the meantime, you can use the library’s computers- there should be some “autosaved” stuff on a server somewhere.

 
 

I decided to take the opposite tack and have her picture get worse and worse over time as her inner soul emerged.

Related.

 
 

Today in Senate Republicans
“In a recorded conversation with Lee Williams, an FAA quality assurance specialist, airport manager Marshall Reece tore into Inhofe’s piloting. “I’ve got over 50 years flying, three tours of Vietnam,” Reece said, “and I can assure you I have never seen such a reckless disregard for human life in my life.” He then added, “Something needs to be done. This guy is famous for these violations.”
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/inhofe-scared-crap-out-airport-workers-192645

And he still hearts Gbagbo.

http://crooksandliars.com/john-amato/senator-inhofes-madness-he-calls-new-el [Warning: link contains 700 Club]

http://crooksandliars.com/john-amato/sen-james-inhofe-still-supporting-gbagb

 
 

Good luck Fenwick

 
 

Related.

can tintin make steve buscemeyes happent to k-lo? cuz that would be teh awesome…

and also, too…fenick…glad to hear your on the mend…!

 
 

“I’ve got over 50 years flying, three tours of Vietnam,” Reece said, “and I can assure you I have never seen such a reckless disregard for human life in my life.”

Inhofe’s legislating shows more of a reckless disregard for human life than his piloting ever could.

can tintin make steve buscemeyes happent to k-lo?

It would probably be an improvement.

 
 

It would probably be an improvement.

rats…i knew it would be too much to hope for…*kicks ground dispiritedly*

 
 

Fenwick – compared to all that shit, the mono has been a walk in the park. Hope you’re on the mend in all categories.

 
 

I can frost a cake better than that, and I can barely tie my own fucking shoes.

I could do better with a hockey stick, from across the room.

 
 

d’oh…i still have steve buscemeyes to the tune of ‘bette davis eyes’ in my head…somebody…help me…please…

 
 

Pat Robertson thinks everyone is a homo.

We are all homo, but not enough are sapiens

 
 

Well, in the good ol’ days, the unions were strong and regulations on multinationals were stringent

Not in the 1880s, which is where some of these morons want to take us.

 
 

perhaps you should borrow vs’ fainting couch.

I read this as “farting couch” and thought, why does anyone need a special chair for that?

 
 

80085

 
 

I read this as “farting couch” and thought, why does anyone need a special chair for that?

It’s got charcoal filtration to remove unpleasant aromas.

 
 

It’s got charcoal filtration to remove unpleasant aromas.

I’d say GET OUTA MAH BRANE but I’d though zeolite.

 
 

Maybe for yours. I’m sure VS’ smell like sparkleponies and sunshine.

 
 

I read this as “farting couch” and thought, why does anyone need a special chair for that?

It’s got charcoal filtration to remove unpleasant aromas.

i would pay any amount of money for one of these…a gift to teh hubby…

 
 

More ducky sex, & those who are obsessed therew/.

 
 

Maybe for yours. I’m sure VS’ smell like sparkleponies and sunshine.

Please keep your kinky fantasies to yourself!

 
 

Please keep your kinky fantasies to yourself!

Note to self: do not send VS / ZRM / DKW’s Mom slashfic to B^4.

 
 

Note to self: do not send VS / ZRM / DKW’s Mom slashfic to B^4.

Couldn’t be any worse than my Dobbs/Buchanan slashfic.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

ZOMG I have to make this fabulous recipe soon.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Meh. Ducky sex doesnt get half the attention that implicit gay penguin sex does.

 
 

Meh. Ducky sex doesnt get half the attention that implicit gay penguin sex does.

Heterosexual rape doesn’t bother the Tealiban nearly as much as consensual homosexual sex does.

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

There are some pretty godawful liqueurs in the Italian boozecopeia.

There’s some pretty manky-tasting soft drinks available in Italy, too.

 
 

ZOMG I have to make this fabulous recipe soon.

Just like Grandmaw used to make!

 
 

ZOMG I have to make this fabulous recipe soon.

Gee, I don’t know, seems kinda complicated. If she’s got a recipe for boiled water, I may start with that.

 
 

Dobbs/Buchanan slashfic.

Crazy congresswoman from MN gets it on with a Harry Potter elf?

 
 

Crazy congresswoman from MN gets it on with a Harry Potter elf?

throw in orly taitz and you would have the threesome from hell…

 
 

throw in orly taitz

I believe the recipe calls for her to be diced and browned over a low flame before being added.

 
 

browned over a low flame

this would be difficult to gauge as the breast meat has been noted to be ‘purple-black…’

 
 

this would be difficult to gauge as the breast meat has been noted to be ‘purple-black…’

I had rice and veggies for dinner, so my gorge is only half risen.

 
 

raising the gorge

 
 

gorging the rise?

 
 

Elevating the gorge.

 
 

‘purple-black…’

you know, i honestly don’t think i will be able to get that image out of my head…or the whole description and/or thought of sexually predatory orly taitz…

do you remember the scene in ‘pee wee’s big adventure’ where he collapses after saving the snakes from the pet store fire? yeah, that’s how i feel now…

 
 

sexually predatory orly taitz

I believe “feral” is the word you’re searching for.

 
 

BINGO!

 
 

You Punks are all a bunch of Hipster Goths! Or something.

 
 

bbkf said, “heh…my nordic friend and i were talking…”

Nordic? Your friend is a suspiciously Caucasian-looking alien from the Pleiades?

 
 

Talking the Nordic Friend

 
 

Tracking the Nordic.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

VS must mark her calendar.

Simple green salad. “Clean out the fridge” soup (homemade chix broth, grated onion, whatever veggies are getting old, grated carrot, … some diced Swiss cheese in the bowl). Patty melts. Fries (so they’re homemade, twice cooked the proper way – they’re still just fires, right?)

See?

 
 

Stimulating one’s own genitals to the point of orgasm.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

They might be fries, too. And the chix brodo may be homemade but I just have it I the freezer, y’know? NOTHING FANCY HERE

 
 

Does NRO really fail at collecting Wingnut Welfare, or is this fundraising schtick just one big slimy scam … I wonder … & I sincerely doubt Mr. $50 is fictional – recall Barnum`s dictum on the latent frequency of terrestrial idjit production.

Glad to hear Fenwick is still stomping the terra firma, & doing a hell of a lot better than I probably would.

Not much to add, since I`m painstakingly exploring the magical worlds of Greasemonkey & Autohotkey* … after years of feh & meh, I finally got Killfile to work, so now I`m locked & loaded for the next arrival of HEPHAESTUS HOMUNCULUS SAABDATSUN or any of his fellow goobers.

The badgers are ready to tango … come at me, troll.
_______________________
* Unfortunately, my keyboard seems to have schizophrenia-related issues with this otherwise lovely script platform – like turning the pound key into /, rendering apostrophes with a leftward slant & making question-marks into É … sigh.

 
 

I, The Freezer.

“The Iceman Cometh” not good enough for you kids?. You gotta turn it into a remake?
Kids today.

 
 

PM, you could make spam and ramen sound good.

 
 

Thanks Substance. Plainly this sweet beast will take some time to tame.

Looks like the madness of Key Rabies is/was a function of running two scripts at once – as soon as I shut down the superfluous script, my keyboard stopped hearing the voices from East Whackostan … oh smeg … um, yeah, my leaving out a “return” command probably didn’t help much either. Now I’ve got both those babies running smooth as shit through a goose. CODE IS THEFT!

Hot damn, am I a L33T H@xX0R or what?

Face, this is palm … oh, I see you’ve already met.

 
 

Long Day’s Journey Into Leftovers?

 
 

hot damn, spearhafoc, you might be on to something (from teh wiki):
Nordic-Scandinavians, characteristically 1.8 to 2.4 meters with white (pink) skin, blue eyes, light blond or white hair, and commonly reported as being male.[1]… They are depicted as wise and benevolent beings concerned with the welfare of humanity.

she is all those things except for the male part, obviously…this does explain some things about her…

 
 

also, pup: Simple green salad. “Clean out the fridge” soup (homemade chix broth, grated onion, whatever veggies are getting old, grated carrot, … some diced Swiss cheese in the bowl). Patty melts. Fries (so they’re homemade, twice cooked the proper way – they’re still just fires, right?)

your *leftovers* make my everday meals look like shit on a shingle…i take solace in that i excel at your good old midwestern rump roast, mashed potatoes and gravy and a kickass brunch every sunday morning…

 
 

Why would I want to simulate my genitals when I have the real thing?

 
 

They are depicted as wise and benevolent beings concerned with the welfare of humanity.
This is where I failed the test.

 
 

Why would I want to simulate my genitals when I have the real thing?

For your Second Life avatar! Duh! DUH!

 
 

i excel at your good old midwestern rump roast, mashed potatoes and gravy and a kickass brunch every sunday morning…

If I understand your recipes properly, the brunch is made with the gluteal leftovers from the roast.

 
 

A whining ass will screw up the Senate, unless, of course, Reid pretends he’s got a spine and puts an end to the phantom filibusters.

For the record, SC has a population a bit over 4.5 million. The incredibly important Mr. Graham represents 1.5% of the country.

 
 

Let me clarify: I wouldn’t support a senator from a state with a large population holding hostage presidential appointments, either, but Graham’s belief that the world revolves around his dumb ass is even more delusional than normal for the senate.

 
 

Well, aren’t you simulating someone else’s genitals?

 
 

If I understand your recipes properly, the brunch is made with the gluteal leftovers from the roast.

no…no, the gluteal leftovers do not make it into the brunch…but bad grammar does…

 
 

Well, aren’t you simulating someone else’s genitals?

for mrs. _b’s sake, i should hope it is…and properly, too…

 
 

Shorter Scott Johnson:

The fact that Muslimy Muslim Keith Ellison took offense to Peter King’s hearings about all Muslims being terrorists proves that Rep. Ellison is a traitor and a terrorist. Also, radical Islamists would be more at home in the Republican party which proves that liberals are dangerous and stupid.

 
 

for mrs. _b’s sake, i should hope it is…and properly, too…

i honestly think something has entered my brain and stolen my ability to compose sentences…

 
 

He seemed to blame Melvin Bledsoe for the actions of his son Carlos, who stands accused of shooting and killing an Army private after converting to Islam and becoming radicalized.
A Somali-American who complained about interference from organized Islamist groups while trying to learn about a score of missing young men who turned up with a terrorist group in Somalia was there simply to “diss” the Muslim community in Minneapolis.
Zuhdi Jasser, a Phoenix physician who challenges the Islamist narrative, simply is out to make a buck, Ellison said. . .
Messrs. Bledsoe and Bihi and Dr. Jasser were not amused by Ellison’s comments. According to the IPT, for example, Mr. Bledsoe called Ellison a “fool” and “liar” for trying to deny the insidious nature of jihadist recruiting that is occurring in this country.

Go to the IPT for the rest of the story and for the links, of which the story is chock full.

ZOMG! what a tool ellison is! i for one, am shocked by his viciousness! really, scott? and yes, i’m sure the ipt story is chock full of something but it ain’t necessarily facts…

 
Reginald Clarke
 

bbkf said, “i honestly think something has entered my brain and stolen my ability to compose sentences…”

That was me. Sorry about that.

 
 

That was me. Sorry about that.

oh, no worries reg…i’ll be perfectly fine without it…

 
 

i keep trying to post a comment from mark’s link, but wp keeps eating it!!! what gives?

 
 

To explain that last post…

and now i’m going to have to read this…so much for productivity today!

 
 

Keith Ellison eated it like so many Jewish babies.

 
 

Keith Ellison eated it like so many Jewish babies.

i do not doubt this…after all, scott johnson masterfully proved what a gigantic tool ellison is!

 
 

oh, eff it all! tagfail, too!

 
 

and it was a really good comment, too…

 
 

Keith Ellison was an unindicted co-conspirator in your tagfail.

 
 

Keith Ellison was an unindicted co-conspirator in your tagfail.

god, his toolishness knows no bounds!

 
 

Also on Power Line today is John Hinderaker claiming that Obama “Borked” Paul Ryan in his deficit speech. I guess that’s true, in that Obama pointed out how much of a shit sandwich Ryan’s plan is, and Republicans will whine about that for 25 years.

 
 

PEEL THOSE BITCHES WITH A VEGGIE PEELER GODDAMNIT

I always manage to fuck up my nails doing that.

 
 

____ THOSE BITCHES WITH A _____ _____ GODDAMNIT

I always manage to fuck up my _____ doing that

 
 

Also, radical Islamists would be more at home in the Republican party

Not to sound like a broken record:

They were at home in the GOP for most of American history. They got run out on a rail after 9/11, and they’ve been Democrats ever since. (Other minority Republicans may want to take the example to heart: there’s no such thing as a minority that’s truly accepted by the GOP. Even with supposedly stalwart allies like the Cuban American community – take a white Republican voter, make him actually live in close contact with the Cubanos, and see how long his professed love for the brave anti-communists lasts).

And it’s amazing how they manage to talk out of both corners of their mouths, telling women and gay people “we fucking hate hajjis, so you should be on our side” while simultaneously telling Muslims “we fucking hate fags and feminists, so you should be on our side” at the same time.

 
 

bbkf said, “i honestly think something has entered my brain and stolen eaten my ability to compose sentences…”

that was me. Sorry about that.

 
 

Well nobody’s reading this anymore so now’s the perfect time to post…

Why would I want to simulate my genitals when I have the real thing?

For when you paint your toenails pink, silly.

Also:

Taming the sweet beast

Also also:

This Is Just To Say

I have eaten
the branes
that were in
your cranium

and which
you were probably
saving
to think with.

Forgive me
they were delicious
so warm
and squishy.

 
 

____ THOSE BITCHES WITH A _____ _____ GODDAMNIT

I always manage to fuck up my _____ doing that

Ohhh, a Mad-Lib.

 
 

American Pi

Drove my Chevy to the LV

 
 

If my old lady knew I’d sent fifty bucks out of my unemployment check to a freaking blog . . . well, let’s just say that bill would probably not be getting lucky any time soon.

 
 

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