Look, Ma, I Can Count! No Hands!!
Posted on April 11th, 2011 by Tintin
ABOVE: Clay Waters
Shorter Clay “Disco King” Waters, Newsblusterers
NYT’s Michael Shear Finds Tons of Conservatives, Almost No Liberals in Govt. Shutdown Debate
- In one New York Times article I counted every time the reporter used the words “conservative” and “liberal” and discovered that the reporter said “conservative” more often than he said “liberal.” This is scientific proof that the New York Times is liberal.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
It’s almost as if a whole bunch of conservatives, but no liberals, wanted to shut down the government.
Biased NYT!!
~
Clay Waters used the term “consevative” eight times in his article and the term “liberal” only twice. Clay Waters is a LIBERAL!!!!
And now I’ve used the term liberal more times than I used the term conservative in this post so I must be a conservative… No wait, now it’s even I must be an independant?
Also when reporters at the NYT and NPR repeat GOP talking points, they have a certain sneer in their tone indicating that they don’t really believe what the GOP is saying. Meanwhile, when NPR reporters conscientiously and self-consciously “balance” the GOP talking points they repeat with badly mangled Democratic talking points (so badly mangled as to not at all effectively communicate any liberal agenda but rather to make said agenda sound stupid), that they are so keen to “balance” GOP talking points is clear evidence that they are liberals.
Of course, the media’s “liberal” leanings are not a bug but rather a feature. The right wants to make sure that people perceive the media as liberal and that media muttonheads (credit for “media muttonheads” goes to Berk Breathed?) perceive themselves as liberals. After all “even the liberal media think the GOP has a point and the Democrats are going too far” has been a key ingredient in the right-ward shift of this country. At the very least, big media types tend to be latte sipping effete urbane snobs … so the media being the most visible “liberals” (and of course the media are visible) makes sure that Joe ‘Murkin thinks that liberals are all effete, urbane snobs.
Uh uh, you ain’t gettin me off dis boat – dye ain’t no mangoes in that swamp, I knows it.
Having the left arm in front may help leverage the waste through his bowel, but the right arm is arm is almost certainly gumming up the works.
OHBOYOHBOYOHBOY.
He also found too more
this typo makes me giggle…
Having just gotten a bunch of areca nuts I’m soooo ready for spitting to become part of political debate.
Usually I get a good laugh out of this stuff, but when you consider that these people continue to dominate the national debate, it’s pretty fucking depressing.
Gumming up the works.
I love the comment about Liz Taylor’s funeral.
Neither labor secretary Robert Reich and former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi were called liberal.
Wow, it’s almost like the word “liberal” has a real meaning and isn’t simply a synonym for “any old Democrat no matter how corporate.”
Having just gotten a bunch of areca nuts I’m soooo ready for spitting to become part of political debate.
Asparagus season is just around the corner so I hope they include urinating soon!
Neither labor secretary Robert Reich and former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi were called liberal.</i?
that's because we are all familiar with how liberal bob and nancy are…but this other dude “Representative George Miller of California, a veteran liberal member of Congress.”, i am not familiar with…i for one am glad that his liberalness, nay–his veteran liberalness was identified for me…
and that was a massive, massive tag fail…please forgive me, i am sorely out of practice…
also, too, i still have my ‘event’ nails on and they make typing hell…
it’s almost like the word “liberal” has a real meaning and isn’t simply a synonym for “any old Democrat no matter how corporate.”
Of course not! It also means “people we formerly worshipped but who let us down and were therefore a secret enemy all along.”
This is so stupid it hurts mah brane.
You want brane-hurt? You should check out the latest wingnut forward making the rounds at my blog.
Translation: Ignore the ongoing attempt to KILL YOUR FUCKING GOVERNMENT behind the red white & blue curtain! The NYT used one word more than another one in a story = liberal fascism is happening now! As William F. Buckley himself once said: OOGA BOOGA BOOGA, people! Think about it.
Hmm…constantly stumping for a government shutdown but then getting all hot and bothered when someone actually calls you on it? There’s a word for that, now what is it…oh yeah, “Pants-shitting cowardice”.
Pupienus Maximus said,
April 11, 2011 at 19:42
If all the cats in the world gathered all the hairballs in the world, it would still not be big enough.
Again, really have to ask- how the frak are these people beating us?
Again, really have to ask- how the frak are these people beating us?
Non-verifiable voting on touch-screen systems.
This sounds like a challenge. Where’s the nearest light-colored carpet?
Adjectives are socialist.
At least they’re embracing science (as it were).
This sounds like a challenge. Where’s the nearest light-colored carpet?
Mine is light gray and you KNOW that you’ve been working on this challenge for quite some time now, with an amazing variety of trials.
There is always more work to be done.
This sounds like a challenge. Where’s the nearest light-colored carpet?
Shirley Phelps-Roper’s hair is sort of light-colored.
Just sayin’.
Stand back. We got this.
Crap. Now the Phelps’ will bring dogs to their protests. The arms race has begun.
Phelps’? Phelpses? English is hard.
vs ,
Ask the emailer to produce the Fed.’s petition to remove the signs.
Long form!
Phelps’? Phelpses?
Phelpses. Like Penises.
Ack! Ack! Thbbft!
I support the Cats Everywhere initiative.
Ask the emailer to produce the Fed.’s petition to remove the signs.
If there is a petition it was done by art lovers and people who prefer English be spelled correctly, because HOLY CRAP that is skin-crawlingly, eye-gougingly awful.
I support the Cats Everywhere initiative.
The hairballs will be quickly eaten by the Phelps dogs. Fox will broadcast all the action live.
The hairballs will be quickly eaten by the Phelps dogs. Fox will broadcast all the action live.
it’s really too bad that beck is leaving them…he is the only one i can envision with the gravity and dignity to cover this brodcast…
i still have my ‘event’ nails on and they make typing hell…
And then when you get rid of them you still have the stigmata to deal with…
I put this in the wrong thread:
vs said,
April 11, 2011 at 22:22
Rofl. I think it’s safe to say N_B is “on” today.
“on” whom?
And then when you get rid of them you still have the stigmata to deal with…
your mind works in mysterious ways…
dealing with the stigmata…
“on” whom?
Heh, my first thought was “on what?”
Whom or what are you on, N_B?
And then when you get rid of them you still have the stigmata to deal with…
Word to the wise: the Johannes Passion is less sexy than you might expect.
Shouldn’t that have been, “…the New York Times is a liberal.”?
So, the Teatards are clamoring for a government shutdown, so a government shutdown is the Democrats’ fault… got it.
Having just gotten a bunch of areca nuts I’m soooo ready for spitting to become part of political debate.
I had a case of areca nuts, but a topical antibiotic took care of it.
Taking care of areca nuts.
Taking care of areca nuts.
Beteling off?
“So, the Teatards are clamoring for a government shutdown, so a government shutdown is the Democrats’ fault… got it.”
Just the other day America’s Dumbest Homosexual© the Gay PutzRiot™ said that the Dems made the Rs put an extreme budget plan together so that the Dems could call it extreme. Or something like that. It didn’t make any sense, I won’t be be bothered to wade through that swamp looking for it either.
a topical antibiotic took care of it.
Perhaps you should have tried dipping them instead.
Or something like that. It didn’t make any sense, I won’t be be bothered to wade through that swamp looking for it either.
Future Tintin post?
Perhaps you should have tried dipping them instead.
Not too many teabaggers ’round here to handle it for me.
a topical antibiotic took care of it.
Perhaps you should have tried dipping them instead.
And you know, when it says “apply as needed every 4 hours” it doesn’t mean you need to rub it in FOR four hours. Also: NOT “as kneaded.”
And you know, when it says “apply as needed every 4 hours” it doesn’t mean you need to rub it in FOR four hours.
Party pooper! Also, if I have an erection that lasts more than 4 hours, I’m calling EVERYBODY!
Rubbing one…in?
And here’s tigris with the pot of cold water.
~
And here’s tigris with the pot of cold water.
Better than a pot of boiling water.
Especially in wet t-shirt contests.
And here’s tigris with the pot
About damn time.
Especially in wet t-shirt contests.
You made Betty and Veronica have a sad.
You named them after a comic book?
Oh great, now Krazy and Ignatz has sad, too.
The Iron Giant is taking a nap.
The Iron Giant is taking a nap.
Somebody has a high opinion of himself.
The Iron Giant is taking a nap.
Has baby _B gotten that much bigger is so short a time?
You named them after a comic book?
Um, yeah! What else would I name them after?
My contribution to the “Name the tram cars” contest for Portland’s aerial tram: Tess and Tickle. They went with something else.
http://motc.research.pdx.edu/testsite/sites/default/files/imagecache/exhibit-full-size-fluid/storage/asset/image/42/2011/3/portland%20aerial%20tram.jpg
Tess and Tickle
Let me guess: you didn’t win.
Oh. My. God.
I don’t. I just… I can’t even…
http://reasontostand.org/archives/2011/01/17/why-libertarians-should-be-opposed-to-same-sex-marriage
Good news, everybody! I brought back a mango from Pup’s link:
Hey wait…that’s no mango. That tastes like shit.
Let’s try again: When we make sex out to be a private pleasure divorced from any public good (like the production and care and raising of
childrengood productivity units)Fixxered for more Randian goodness.
When we make sex out to be a private pleasure divorced from any public good
Isn’t that the definition of libertarianism?
like the production and care and raising of children
It’s her factory
It’s her duty
It’s her factory
More generally: X is a private act divorced from any public good and is therefore the libertarian ideal.
I’d say “solve for X” but any answer you gave would be correct.
Isn’t that the definition of libertarianism?
It can’t be. “Acting like an asshole” is not evident.
And you know what’s great about properly functioning marriages? The state doesn’t need to interfere with them, so it doesn’t need to grow in order to provide anyone with an imagined “right”.
i have read this a zillion times already and still can’t figger it out…but i keep going back to And you know what’s great about properly functioning marriages?
um…that they don’t happen everytime? and the gov’t is still going to have to interfere? and that two straights tying the knot doesn’t automatically = properly functioning? i don’t know…first show me what the fuck a ‘properly functioning’ marriage is?!?!
When we make sex out to be a private pleasure divorced from any public good
Libertarianism: prioritizing public good over private pleasures.
So wait, can people get the homonups as long as they promise to have sex in public?
tigris, I like the way you think. Just imagining the RW heads exploding makes me giggle.
More generally: X is a private act divorced from any public good and is therefore the libertarian ideal.
Here X = “The pleasure of minding other people’s business”.
Like humping on the roof at USC?
solving for X
RW heads exploding
Also a public good.
The state doesn’t need to interfere with them, so it doesn’t need to grow in order to provide anyone with an imagined “right”.
I love that a self-styled LIBERTARIAN is emphasizing the imaginary nature of a <SCARE-QUOTE> right </SCARE-QUOTE>. You know what other “rights” required the government to grow to provide and protect them? ALL OF THEM.
The word that’s really disappeared from the MSM is “ultraconservative.” They’re now just “conservative.” That’s depressing.
“When we make sex out to be a private pleasure divorced from any public good (like the production and care and raising of children)”
This is so filled with whatthefuckery I can’t even find the snark to respond to it.
Overfilling the whatthefuckery.
Who will be the sex monitors who determine WHY people are fucking? When Bristol PAlin or Newt Gingrich fuck recreationally, is that ok?
I have so many questions.
When Bristol PAlin or Newt Gingrich fuck recreationally, is that ok?
If, and only if, they fuck each other.
Finding the snark.
/temptation-to-insert-“diving”-reference
“If, and only if, they fuck each other.”
Ya know, I like the idea of some sort of wingnut sex quarantine. Make them all fuck each other…keep them away from the sane populace.
“Ya know, I like the idea of some sort of wingnut sex quarantine. Make them all fuck each other…keep them away from the sane populace”
You know WHO ELSE liked the idea of sex quarantine?
Conservative schmibertarianism: when sex is made out to be a private “pleasure” divorced from any pubic good.
You know WHO ELSE liked the idea of sex quarantine?
The entire audience watching “Liquid Sky”?
The fact is, liberals are biased and here is the proof, case closed. Now I would like my country back and the Tea Party is gonna do it.
No more multi-culti geneticly enferier intellectual smartys who think they know whats best for me ais more goverment and higher taxes, and God out of schools.
WHO ELSE liked the idea of sex quarantine?
My ex.
Now I would like my country back
Tough noogies. We’re gonna play keep-away.
When you take your country back could you put it on a diet and teach it better manners?
Now I want to start a glam rock group called Sex Quarantine.
No more multi-culti geneticly enferier intellectual smartys who think they know whats best for me ais more goverment and higher taxes, and God out of schools.
So much better for the anti-intellectuals to kick teachers out of schools, Mr. Eloquence?
I’m calling my band Intellectual Smartyrs (or Fenwicks, cannot decide)
God needs to get out of schools and get back into old rusted-out campers.
~
Smartyrs
Smores using people in lieu of marshmallows?
I think those would be Joan D’mores
While y’all have been beteling the nutz I was cooking for a client. Alaskan salmon low baked with a mustard/honey/parsley crust, swiss chard gratin (vidalias, white bacon, amazing parmigianno a friend gave me), green salad, black-eyed peas in a Cuban pork broth.
Smartyrs
Bearing the enigmata.
vs said,
April 12, 2011 at 2:29
“Ya know, I like the idea of some sort of wingnut sex quarantine. Make them all fuck each other…keep them away from the sane populace.”
Sexcession a whole state, but a big one, like Texas, or maybe two states put together, New Mexico and Arizona, call it Sexizona.
Ooh, and a reality series, “when hideously deformed, slow, and stupid animals attack” style. Whore-durs?
Now you’re thinking, um, outside the box.
guitarist manqué said,
April 12, 2011 at 3:07
“….swiss chard gratin (vidalias, white bacon, ….”
So vidalias are in, early no?
So vidalias are in, early no?
Bunched with the tops on, about the size of a squash ball.
about the size of a squash ball.
Bad-underwear squash or high-heel-toe squash?
Vidalia market date
How about plum size?
Vidalia market date
They’re in the produce market, bunched fresh, here from mid-Feb on. The green tops are excellent too, also instead of scallion tops.
I’ve got to beat this also, too thing. I don’t know whether it was you guys that started it or them over at Roy’s but I can’t stop.
The missus and I was just readin’ the above-linked news report about the man in Charlest’n, WV who has jes’ done been ay-quitted of assault fer expectoratin’ some chaw-slobber onto the protest sign of one Shirley Phelps Roper, member of the homophobic clan that makes all other lawyers look like paragons of upright ethicality.
“Freedom of speech meets freedom of spit,” I said.
“The Spit of 1776!” the missus exclaimed.
(Thank you, PM, for alerting us to that most wonderful story.)
Just a salad tonight, and some pasta. I started my Bolognese sauce this morning. Rigatoni with all day Bolognese. Mmmmmmmm.
NB, N__B: no dogs were harmed or even involved in the making of the sauce.
Oh! I had not made note that it was in Charleston “home of incest and green teeth” West Virginia. I eagerly await Don Bob “truckophile” Surber’s outrage.
And the pasta?
no dogs were harmed or even involved in the making of the sauce.
Killjoy.
Shoot. Should hVe made that Don Bob “I Love Trucks” Surber. Might ad well pour some more Twelve Bridges gin.
“Killjoy”
Who’s Joy? Is she tasty?
Much like ‘Slayer, I, too, get wingnut emails, mainly numerous “Speaker Alerts” from the Great Orange Satan (not THAT one, the OTHER one), mostly telling me how NOT spending money on GOVT jobs will create MILLIONS of private sector jobs. It will also make money to drill for ALL THE GAS. “Because we need new energy solutions”
Help dispel the uncertainty faced by small businesses disappears as government cuts back on things like infrastructure maintenance and basic services. Who needs transportation arteries and an educated workforce? Certainly NOT the small business people of America!!
Selectively edited, see if you can tell where…
I’ve also just “badgered” myself – quite painful.
And also, evidently, kilt the thread.
If I’d Typed It (new series): Also, if I have an erection
that lasts more than 4 hours, I’m calling EVERYBODY!Just kidding. Not into sharing.
Callin’ Everybody WHAT!?!?
The entire audience watching “Liquid Sky”?
Great movie. N_B is banned.
Bearing the enigmata.
Stop it.
Smut and his rhythm box.
Again, really have to ask- how the frak are these people beating us?
Fear is an easy sell.
And
“Faith” is any easy excuse to do nothing.
Me and my
rhythm box
*refresh before post*
For you ipadders
Japan Nuke Nightmare Level Raised To ‘Chernobyl Level’
USA! USA! USA!
~
USA! USA! USA!TORA! TORA! TORA!
I’ve got to beat this also, too thing. I don’t know whether it was you guys that started it or them over at Roy’s but I can’t stop.
me too…i blame the sadlys…also, too the teenage twit that started it…
damn it…paula deen has just ruined smithfield spiral cut hams for me…
Help dispel the uncertainty faced by small businesses disappears as government cuts back on things like infrastructure maintenance
Eventually, the roads will be undrivable, so oil use will go WAY down.
Ruining the Ham.
Beating the also too thing? Nah, too obvious.
Nah, too obvious.
but funny. Like if Sarah Palin tried to come up with a euphemism.
“Beating the also too thing? Nah, too obvious.”
But, if it means using both hands, simultaneously, my attention could be, um, aroused.
Ruining the Ham.
I didn’t know that zombies were hamfuckers.
“I didn’t know that zombies were hamfuckers.”
If you use the right lube, butter for example, it’s enhancing the ham, not ruining it. So I have been told.
Speaking of sharks with frickin laser beams, did you see the
Sharks with frickin laser beams?
If you use the right lube, butter for example, it’s enhancing the ham, not ruining it. So I have been told.
Ham injections make the meat tender and moist!
Speaking of sharks with frickin laser beams, did you see the
Sharks with frickin laser beams?
They had those in the old G.I. Joe cartoons. Reality is just catching up to commercialized animated fantasy .
PENIS
I didn’t know that zombies were hamfuckers.
well, at least we’re not cankle fetishists.
well, at least we’re not cankle fetishists.
I can’t help it if people find my cankle dead sexy. I’m not surprised, but I’m not condoning it, either.
You really don’t want to say “dead sexy” in front of a zombie.
“I can’t help it if people find my cankle dead sexy. I’m not surprised, but I’m not condoning it, either.”
Speaking of also, too, we now have something for both the ankle fetishists and the necromaniacs. Can the cankle also be used as a floor polish and/or a dessert topping, too?
95 YEAR OLD’S PICKLED MEMBER …
Sharks with friction lasers… Pickled PENIS…They made human hakarl!
Googling hakarl
Speaking of also, too, we now have something for both the ankle fetishists and the necromaniacs. Can the cankle also be used as a floor polish and/or a dessert topping, too?
95 YEAR OLD’S PICKLED MEMBER …
Sharks with friction lasers… Pickled PENIS…They made human hakarl!
I’m afraid it’s come to this…Introducing the official theme song of Sadly, No!
dead sexy.
OTb I find this fountain of butthurt amusing.
Yarrrhh. Thar be dragons.
damn it…paula deen has just ruined smithfield spiral cut hams for me…
OMG, Paula Deen has launched a porn career?
I’ve brought back a rather tasty mango from the fountain of butthurt that Hogeye Grex linked to:
There’s some good mango-picking to be done there, but do wear your hip boots.
dead sexy.
Anyone you know?
“fountain of butthurt”
there’s a “spray on Santorum” line to be snarked up which I will mercifully forgo.
FYiPhone. spray OF
most revolting WIN ever
Oh, my. Ripe mangoes indeed.
1) Surely you’re not implying that the tea party faithful are so easily distracted by shiny objects, are you? I thought the TPM was all about the issues, man.
2) You know, if enough of them get paranoid in the “ZOMG Rupert Murdoch’s a left winger!” vein, that might be awesome. I can see them ending up like the French far left, with a Communist Party of France and a Communist Revolutionary League and a Workers’ Struggle Party and a New Anticapitalist Party all vying for power. Splittists!
*wading back into mango territory…
Zombie pinups, Dr. Hook.
Too good.
Oh, this is awesome!
Yeeessss!!! Let the hate flow through you! Strike them down with all your hatred, and our journey back to power will be complete!
Insha’allah, pal.
And going for the win at the end:
Stay classy, Goopers. But seriously – those are freaking good.
I for one, could not get past the first sentence of that mango-filled fountain of butthurt “I hate what’s happening to the country,” said Mr. Trump, a real estate tycoon and host of the NBC show “Celebrity Apprentice.”
i will gladyly finish that thought for him: ‘there are too many protected areas in this great country of ours…and i’m filthy rich and like to golf…when i am president, i will abolish all laws keeping perfectly good land from being used by the american people…and by that i mean me…i am going to raze the hell out of protected land and build me some motherfuckin’ golf courses like you wouldn’t believe, bitches!’
and, i LOVE the resepect he gives the presidency: “I’m not doing it for any other reason. I like winning.”
dumb fucker…
Would it be irresponsible to speculate about the skeletons in Trumps closet? It would be irre……yada yada.
You know, if enough of them get paranoid in the “ZOMG Rupert Murdoch’s a left winger!” vein, that might be awesome. I can see them ending up like the French far left, with a Communist Party of France and a Communist Revolutionary League and a Workers’ Struggle Party and a New Anticapitalist Party all vying for power. Splittists!
That’s exactly what’s happening in Western New York. Egad, Ian Murphy may have a chance.
I really think the whole purpose of Trump, Palin, Bachmann, etc. is to make Mitt Romney look good in the end. Even if they don’t realize it.
“I really think the whole purpose of Trump, Palin, Bachmann, etc. is to make Mitt Romney look good in the end. Even if they don’t realize it.”
In the land of raving lunatics the simply clinically insane is king.
I really think the whole purpose of Trump, Palin, Bachmann, etc. is to make Mitt Romney look good in the end.
I don’t think there’s any hope for the Mitt-stir, no matter which end one looks into.
P.S. I double-dawg dare you to play “Gimme Mitt”.
~
damn it…paula deen has just ruined smithfield spiral cut hams for me…
I was put off of all Smithfield products long before Paula Deen had any say about it, thanks to The Corporation.
(Warning – link goes to hulu full movie playback…tho if you haven’t seen it, you should.)
and, i LOVE the resepect he gives the presidency: “I’m not doing it for any other reason. I like winning.”
Paging Charlie Sheen.
I think Mitt’s got money to last through a few state primary failures whereas some of the kooks’ll be out soon.
Charlie Sheen will be Trump’s Secretary of Winning.
~
It’s an unending feast over there:
Just relax into the tar pit, Sadlies, it’s all soft and warm…!
These guys (based on the name, I haven’t actually listened to their music) should be the official band of the GOP convention.
But Trump might squash Obama so flat that it would turn into Trump vs. the GOP and the Democrats made extinct.
This is what this guy thinks about when he’s euphemizing the euphemism.
Woodrow Wilson is turning over in his grave. In fits of hilarity.
This is what this guy thinks about when he’s euphemizing the euphemism.
Trumping the squash?
Moderatin’ the comments.
~
euphemizing the euphemism.
We’ve now reached the point where saying “self-fellating” is simpler than the work-arounds.
Not with this picture ready to make the rounds again.
Well, saying it, yeah…
Well, saying it, yeah…
Someone needs to work on his flexibility.
Can I time for thread death, or what?
New one up.
I don’t think there’s any hope for the Mitt-stir, no matter which end one looks into.
Sounds like a job for Substance McGravitas.