Tits Wha Hae

Is it just me, or is Pam Atlas channeling Irvine Welsh in this bit on Dick Durbin’s Muslim rights hearings?

Muslims are freest in this country than any other country in the world and frankly no one gives a fig what they worship. The problem arose when thousands wee laughtered in the name of allah and the glory of jihad. We are entitled to our lives, Mr. Durbin. We are entitled to our security, Mr. Durbin. We are entitled to kee pur babies safe, Mr. Durbin. [emphasis mine]

Ken? We certainly don’t, but as long as we’re butchering Burns, might as well go all the way:

Tits, wha hae wi’ Nazis fed,
Tits, wham aften’s off her meds,
Welcome tæ John Bolton’s bed,
Or tæ Flirtini.

UPDATE: Pam’s fixed her typos, but just for the record and so’s nobody thinks we were making shit up:

 

Comments: 484

 
 
 

And hey, get Seb to fix the about and contact page and so on.

 
 

We need hearings on the special rights being afforded Muslims at the expense of everyone else.

Yeah, how come they dare to think they have Constitutional rights? They weren’t supposed to be for their kind.

 
 

Also:

the hudres of thousands slaightered in jihadi wars, land appropriations, cultural annihilatons an enslavements.

 
 

SM – okay, I’ll try … cheers

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Sounds like that was created using voice recognition software while blind, stinking drunk. With the spell checker turned off.

 
 

I laughtered at the slaighter of hudres of thousands!

 
 

the brave who speak candidly about Christian Crusades and the hudreds of thousands slaughtered in Christian wars, land appropriations, cultural annihilatons and enslavements

Fixed for historical accuracy.

 
 

But not spelyng.

 
 

They can take our freedom, but they can never take our FREEDOM!

 
 

It’d be cool if she was using some kind of dictation software for posts, so each one had an audio file somewhere of a bitter rant…with a Scottish accent of course.

 
 

Which of these new Internets slogans shall we attach to our ‘shorter’ footnote:

1. ‘Thousands wee laughtered in the name of allah!’

or

2. ‘Meade strode into the shot like an avenging angel, with his short, purposeful strides.’

Discuss.

 
 

“Muslims are freest in this country than any other country”

This is probably the part she’d leave untouched after careful editing.

 
 

Pammy wants hearings! Lots of hearings! Let’s hold hearing on tax dollars spent on Islamic law! Then more hearings on tax dollars spent on Muslim schools!

 
 

That reads like a cross between a drunken Scottish sailor and some Ren Fair tool attempting to speak Ye Olde Englishe.

And I have no idea what “kee pur babies” are, but am guessing they’re like Beanie Babies, but more collectible (which might be why they have to be kept in a safe).

 
 

“Thousands wee laughtered in the name of allah!’” must be pote n teh foootnites, DA.

 
 

I laughed a wee. “Kee pur babies”? Obviously was referring to Keebler babies who live in a hollow tree in her back yard and that only she can see.

 
 

‘Thousands wee laughtered in the name of allah!’

Live at the Saudi Improv….!

 
 

From the previous thread:

“‘Hoon’ has a much less interesting definition than I thought it would.”–TruculentandUnreliable

I feel that way about “snood.”

 
 

now it’s specual rights for a very extra special class, Muslims.

Specual?

 
 

Thou chesty, cowrin, craven beastie,
O, what a panic’s in thy breastie!
Thou need na start to lie sae hasty
Wi bickering rattle!
I wad be laith to hark an’ watch thee,
Thy murderous prattle.

 
 

Specual?

OH NOES!! Muslims have a guaranteed right to drive!

 
 

“Watch for this to be an orgy of Muslim claims of victimhood and demonization of freedom fighters trying to defend Constitutional freedoms against Islamic supremacism,” said Spencer

Onward Christian soldiers, marching as to war…!

 
 

“The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men, Gang aft agley”

Guy who wrote that might have a future as a poet if he learns some good English.

 
 

2. ‘Meade Hecubus Manservant strode into the shot like an avenging angel, with his short, purposeful strides.’

Fixxorred for Geat Justice!

(The strike tag is one of the most useful internet thinghies around. Curses on blooger for not enabling it in their common-tation system.)
~

 
 

Ha! Watching Atlas Mugged and The ‘Stache is pretty funny without sound. It looks like the serious interlude of a soft-core porn movie, with Pammy looking like an over the top actress who no longer does the other stuff. “Stache is the good perfesser who says weighty stuff like “Studies have shown…” “In my opinion…”

 
 

I am now in love with tigris.

Also Burn talks about Pam:

But Och! I backward cast my e’e,
On prospects drear!
An’ forward, tho’ I canna see,
I guess an’ fear!

 
 

We need hearings on the special rights being afforded Muslims at the expense of everyone else.

‘Cause rights are a finite resource. Any rights Muslims are “afforded” come at the expense of rights for people like Titsy McGee.

 
 

Boehner said we’re broke. How can we afford Muslim rights?

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

OT, but fafblog has a (sadly, rare) post up right now that nicely sums up our Libyan adventure.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Interesting, DA, I had not before realized that the thickest brogue is more easily understood than Pam’s writing. I shall marvel on this the entire morning.

 
 

The problem arose when thousands were slaughtered in the name of allah and the glory of jihad.

Dang, we missed that one.

 
 

Stats by state, gosh, don’t “show me” Missouri.

 
 

Let’s lea my people outto thes.

 
 

Perhaps Pam has just been sharing boxwine with Ann.

 
 

“Keebler babies who live in a hollow tree”

For some reason this is giving me the snorts and giggles bigtime.

 
 

“sharing boxwine”

Unpossible.

 
 

Pam turning into a Scotsman shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. Does she not have inadequate brain capacity? Has she not been known to get drunk at night and bring home black puddings?

 
 

this is giving me the snorts and giggles bigtime.

Pffft, you can keep my fambily.

 
 

“Kee pur babies”? Obviously was referring to Keebler babies

Or kipper babies.

 
 

I got excited when I saw this at the end of her first paragraph:

That is all.

Sadly….

 
 

Stats by state, gosh, don’t “show me” Missouri.

Springfield, MO is where a LOT of Aryan Nations dudes hang out.

 
 

I felt yon payne in mah wee head.
When nastae Pammay’s writ I read.

 
 

“Watch for this to be an orgy of Muslim claims of victimhood and demonization of freedom fighters trying to defend Constitutional freedoms against Islamic supremacism,” said Spencer

Yet another person terrified that one of the tiniest and least powerful groups in the country is somehow “oppressing” him.

 
 

Watch for this to be an orgy of Muslim

Interest, newsletter, etc.

 
hells littlest angel
 

Cut her some slack. Who among us hasn’t typed a blog post full of hatred and spite while totally shit-faced drunk?

 
 

Who among us hasn’t typed a blog post full of hatred and spite while totally shit-faced drunk?

Hitler?

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Yet another person terrified that one of the tiniest and least powerful groups in the country is somehow “oppressing” him.

Anyone who doesn’t worship Baby Jesus is the oppressor, and Pamela is trying to protect her Christian heritage… wait a minute… I now haz a confooze.

 
 

“Watch for this to be an orgy of Muslim claims of victimhood and demonization of freedom fighters trying to defend Constitutional freedoms against Islamic supremacism,” said Spencer

As opposed to Islamic supremacist freedom fighters who were fighting to protect us from godless Communism in the 80’s.

 
 

Let’s see, given the 27% crazological constant in US politics and an adult population of 206M or so, that’s 55M kilts I can expect to sell at $29.99 if they all turn into Scotsmen. At a 50% profit margin that’s over $800m for me and I’ll have all those Scotsmen out there demanding that I get to keep nearly all of it.

 
 

(The strike tag is one of the most useful internet thinghies around. Curses on blooger for not enabling it in their common-tation system.)

Truer words were never written!

 
 

Dang, we missed that one.

It’s pretty racist to blame white people for that.

I mean, I’m sure they didn’t do it on purpose. They just woke up one day and it was like, “Hey, where’s all the brown people? I don’t know, maybe they took a sick day? Whelp, I guess they won’t be needing all this land then.”

 
Dubious, but Amiable P
 

The problem arose when thousands wee laughtered

The Lolocaust?

 
 

The Lolocaust?

Shoah ’nuff.

 
 


The Lolocaust?

well, thanks for the always-inappropriate cubicle-lol that no doubt has alerted coworkers to the fact that I am not toiling over my data standards document.

 
Wyatt Watts III
 

Please join me for lunch at Tavish Maneesh McThali’s Indian-Scottish Fusion Buffet, now serving:

Kee pur babies
Kerala red curry cabbage (boiled)
Wee laughtered Puri
Haggis Masala

 
 

I think the answer is cleary:

Meade strode into the shot like an avenging angel, with his short, purposeful strides. Thousands wee laughtered in the name of allah!

 
 

Maybe futz with the punctuation so it’s one sentence.

Meade strode into the shot like an avenging angel, with his short, purposeful strides; thousands wee laughtered in the name of allah!

 
 

Meade strode into the shot like an avenging angel, with his short, purposeful strides. Thousands wee laughtered in the name of allah! Ernest and Julio Gallo!

 
 

Pam turning into a Scotsman shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone.

So, she’s fated to ***SPOILER ALERT!!!!!*** play tennis with a blancmange?

 
 

Dubious, but Amiable P

Bravo! Care for a wee nip of Glenmorangie?

 
 

Y’all know my steelo with or without airplay
I keep some E&J, sittin bent up in the hallway
or either on the corner washing chalk and tapin hijinks
laughin’ at teachers, trying to fix some broken links
AltMeade get off quick, LGM niggaz talk shit
reminiscing ’bout the last time The Donalde flipped

 
 

well, thanks for the always-inappropriate cubicle-lol that no doubt has alerted coworkers to the fact that I am not toiling over my data standards document.

I’ve learned not to laugh out loud most of the time, but sometimes it’s just unavoidable.

Frequently on this site.

 
 

Meade strode flounced into the shot like an avenging angel raging queen, with his short,purposeful mincing strides

Fixxed!

 
Ted the Slacker
 

well, thanks for the always-inappropriate cubicle-lol that no doubt has alerted coworkers to the fact that I am not toiling over my data standards document.

As long as you didn’t cause a prairie-dogging incident… don’t worry, link is SFW.

 
Dubious, but Amiable P
 

Meade strode into the shot like an avenging angel, with his short, purposeful strides. Thousands wee laughtered in the name of allah! Ernest and Julio Gallo!

Into the valley of Death gullet of Ann
Rode Flowed the six hundred… fluid ounces.

 
 

something something IQ something average = success something marionettes something something if “we” were to finally LEAVE ME ALONE something something braindead something movement disorder something lie on the floor something garbage orange something nothing doesn’t exist, I can’t believe you still don’t get it something something gatekeepers somethingparticles somethings giants with chess pieces something snow globe something eerie something chiquita banana something offshore accounts something DNA Lady Gaga sumthin lineage sumthin social studies something he doesn’t look like you something the lotion is the margarine something something icannibals something stop messing with my appearance something ripples something I’m in the centre like a pebble something bear down something blue die something doll parts something robbers something judges something pet cemetary something I’m gonna find you something. … what if my daughter looks at me with a face like my own and says she wants to be like me when she’s grown SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING

 
 

Kee pur babies are ones big enough that you don’t have to throw them back.

 
 

Kee pur babies are ones big enough that you don’t have to throw them back.

Says the fish… ever try to stuff a wee babby back into a VJJ?

 
 

ow.

 
 

Says the fish… ever try to stuff a wee babby back into a VJJ?
what do you think a running start and baby oil are for?

 
 

no, but the nurse did. you heard that story or wut? why did I write ow, anyway, oh yeah, b/c I’m not pregnant , I have an angry uterus. yeah, yeah, that’s what the shit I said.

 
 

Don’t make me recite the saga of The Raging Queen again.

 
Dubious, but Amiable P
 
 

Is that REALLY an innocent mistake? Considering how hard St. Pamela Of The EuroNazis gets off on Muslim-extremist violence, I think we can safely classify “wee laughtered” as a Freudian Slit.

(or perhaps … ?)

Gellar: Damn it, John, this sucks! There hasn’t been a good Jihadi beheading video in YEARS! I even bought a fucksaw online, but I just can’t get my, uh, full release from that boring old Berg tape any more. Frankly, it’s been getting a lot like the Gobi Desert down there, if you get my drift.

Bolton: Shhhh … there there, my little hatebird … look! Home video of last week’s marketplace bombing in Baghdad!

Gellar: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Hah hah hah hah hah! Oh, John, you’re the sociopathiest!

 
 

“Frankly, I might agree with a hearing on “Muslim rights” if it addressed the increasing surrender of secular law to islamic law”

You go girl! Just think how many women have been sentenced to death by stoning in America! There must be one somewhere………Right?

 
 

jim, you forgot to throw in the free moustache ride.

 
 

from the last thread:

Meade said,
March 23, 2011 at 18:08

Hilarious! (and yes, I am the real Meade, not an impostor like those “Ann Althouse” impostors you refuse to delete, you bastard.)

 
 

Gellar: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Hah hah hah hah hah! Oh, John, you’re the sociopathiest!

Bolton: I prefer sexy-o-path!

**cue bassline**

 
 

I am the real Meade

“I am Spurticus.”

“No, I am Spurticus.”

 
 

“I am Spurticus.”

this made me laff aloud…and since i am working at home today due to massive snowfall, i only startled the dogs…

 
 

Startling the dog.

 
 

“Pam turning into a Scotsman shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. Does she not have inadequate brain capacity? Has she not been known to get drunk at night and bring home black puddings?”

Shit, what a coincidence. Just last night I netflix’d that particular episode of Monty Python’s Flying Circus. The wife’s Python exposure is super low, so it’s interesting to watch with her– their reputation means nothing. (I am not a rabid fan, but have seen it all.)

I used to own a two-volume set of the scripts, and I had no idea what a blancmange was. I thought it was a type of sheep, for some reason; hadn’t seen that episode before reading its script.

Note that the Wikipedia entry for “blancmange” is interesting and surprisingly exhaustive. (I am not gonna tell the unknowing what one is.) I wonder if similar things get such loving attention.

 
 

Jewish. Conceived in atonement for killing Jesus.

Yom …”Kee pur babies”

 
 

Note that the Wikipedia entry for “blancmange” is interesting and surprisingly exhaustive. (I am not gonna tell the unknowing what one is.) I wonder if similar things get such loving attention.

I wonder if Blancmange got a similar level of attention.

 
 

“I had no idea what a blancmange was. I thought it was a type of sheep”

The blancmange lies!!!!!

 
 

We are the Judean People’s Front crack suicide squad! hundreds were laughtered.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Jewish. Conceived in atonement for killing Jesus.

Yom …”Kee pur babies”

Where would you like the internets you just won delivered, home or work?

 
 

I see above that my question has been answered while I ate: how is kee pur babby formed?

http://www.somethingawful.com/flash/shmorky/babby.swf

 
 

Toiling over my data standards document.

 
Dubious, but Amiable P
 

Clearly references the oppressive deification of male-gaze hetero normative modes of synthesis in a semiotic blancmange of post-structural teakettle barbecue hatstand fishmonger.

 
 

specual rights

She misspelled ‘specular’.

 
 

Clearly references the oppressive deification of male-gaze hetero normative modes of synthesis in a semiotic blancmange of post-structural teakettle barbecue hatstand fishmonger.
We have a winner! Get that man and and a lecture series stat!

 
 

goddamnit.
Get that man a fellowship and a lecture series stat!

 
Angus McSmedley
 

Clearly eferences the oppressive eification of ale-gazehetero ormative odes of ynthesis in a semiotic blancmange of post-structural eakettle barbecuehatstandfishmonger.

ixxed or opical oodness

 
 

re: March 23, 2011 at 20:52

I once was just as confused about the “male gaze” as I was about blancmange. Listened to a woman talk for ten minutes before I realized she wasn’t talking about fags. (No exaggeration, but maybe the the talking and/or the listening were suboptimal.)

 
 

“Blancmange” sounds like something a stray dog* has.

**looks it up on Wikipedia** …

… **blank stare** …

What the fuck is it with the British Isles and repulsive food?

I understand it’s a smallish area and the weather isn’t known for being the bestest ever, but sweet fucking Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick … no wonder y’all are a bunch of drunks — it’s the only way to get anyone to eat the goddamn food.

Just … what the fucking hell?

(* Non-veiled Donalde reference.)

 
Angus McSmedley
 

It just occurred to me that, in the skit, they use blancmange as a kind of MacGuffin……….

 
 

I once was just as confused about the “male gaze” as I was about blancmange. Listened to a woman talk for ten minutes before I realized she wasn’t talking about fags.

Fess up, you were staring at her boobs.

What the fuck is it with the British Isles and repulsive food?

With the establishment of the Church of England, and the resultant de-emphasis of the Catholic Sacrament of Reconciliation, other mechanisms had to be proposed for penance, so the consumption of horrible food was encouraged by the religious hierarchy.

Brits… kinda like Sanduskers.

 
Mark "Bagpipes" McD
 
 

Ladies and gents, Maine’s new Department of Labor Serfdom!

Just what the fuck do “conservatives” seek to conserve?

They really want to erase history so they can rewrite it as the fucking Gospel of St Ronbo.

 
 

What the fuck is it with the British Isles and repulsive food?

come now, sir! blancmange is some yummy stuff! lutefisk and foodstuffs made from viscera deserve this sort of derision, not pudding!

also, remind me to not invite you over to my house for rommegrot

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

It would be irresponsible not to specular.

 
 

What the fuck is it with the British Isles and repulsive food?

Hey, those bangers & mash are pretty good. So’s the shepherd’s pie. I can’t come up with anything else (and I refuse to touch haggis), but that’s two goodies.

 
 

foodstuffs made from viscera

Like hot dogs?

also, remind me to not invite you over to my house for rommegrot…

Served with dried meats… like bresaola?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Imagine, if you will, smut’s previous comment in italic text just above, k? Thanx.

Also FYWP

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Scrapple FTW!

 
 

I dunno, that Wikipedia entry made me want a blancmange of minced chicken (not fish!) with almonds and saffron. It’d be yellow, but between bites I’d call it a “hwit moos” like a bygone Dane.

(The spelling “hwit” makes just as much sense as “white,” maybe more.)

 
 

Just what the fuck do “conservatives” seek to conserve?

Depends on the era. Also depends on the place. Actually, “conservatism”‘s probably one of the most variable belief systems in history, since it basically means “those people you meet at every point in history who bitch that things were better in the old days.”

 
Angus McSmedley
 

Hot sweetbreads at the local bakery!!!

 
 

“those people you meet at every point in history who bitch that things were better in the old days.”

Yet they want to dismantle the very institutions that made things better.

 
Dubious, but Amiable P
 

foodstuffs made from viscera

Haggis, anyone?

 
 

Fucking the word press.

 
 

Haggis is fan-fucking-tastic. Also, the only hangover cure I ever had that worked was a black pudding and breakfast haggis, January 1 after Hogmanay in Edinburgh.

 
 

Yup, conservatism just perpetuates some subset of existing social institutions or conditions, whatever they might be in a given setting. There can be no liberal-conservative dichotomy except where the prevailing order is illiberal. (There’s a better way to put this, I’m sure.) Knowing this makes following U.S. politics all the more painful.

 
 

Savoring the haggis.

 
 

Blogging with N__B.

 
 

I watched a “Chopped” the other day where the chefs had to use canned haggis in the appetizer course. *shudder*

 
 

I’ve been promoted to genitalia!

 
Mark "Bagpipes" McD
 

They really want to erase history so they can rewrite it as the fucking Gospel of St Ronbo.

Those who control the past, control the future etc. etc. etc.

That’s not even tinfoilhattery, either — these fuckers really and truly do want power just for power’s sake, and are willing to ignore any fact (and even basic reality) to acquire it. There’s just too much proof to think otherwise at this point. (That’s not even to say Democrats aren’t interested in power; but they actually propose policies that can help a majority of citizens. When’s the last time the GOP proposed any such thing? Not even passed — just proposed.)

also, remind me to not invite you over to my house for rommegrot…

I’ve actually had that, and it ain’t all bad. And yes, bangers and mash and shepherd’s pie aren’t horrible.

Background: I have tried a great variety of British food thanks a friend I had in DC (in fact, I’ll try damn near any food that isn’t super spicy). He was a proud British cook who made it his mission to convince me of the worth of British food.

He failed.

Sorry, but a vast majority is bland, full of stuff we really don’t need to eat any more,* or just not all that good. And he really was a good cook — he’s the reason I love Mexican food now.

(* Take haggis, for instance. There was a time when, yes, all parts of the animal needed to be used. And we should still find ways to do so, lest things go to waste. So I get it. But … no. No no no no, no no no no no no no no. No. No need to eat that any more. At all. Ever.)

 
 

Haggis is wonderful. You’re missing out.

 
 

but that’s two goodies.

breakfast baps…

 
Mark "Bagpipes" McD
 

SavorLaughtering the haggis.

Fixed for maximum Pammycakeitude.

 
 

Mark is a Pipebagger!!!

 
Mark "Bagpipes" McD
 

Haggis is wonderful.

My stomach said otherwise.

Just. Don’t. Get. It.

Cow tongue, on the other hand … cut real thin, on that super-thin Petridge Farm bread, and with some horseradish on top, with a side of Pringles …

Mmmmm … tasty.

 
 

Like hot dogs?
bresaola?

these both made me shudder…although i have to admit, i do enjoy a good wiener once in a while…

 
 

Also, the only hangover cure I ever had that worked was a black pudding and breakfast haggis, January 1 after Hogmanay in Edinburgh.

You should try mondongo.

Hogmanay- is that when the hat chooses a school to which the young wizard is assigned?

 
Mark "Bagpipes" McD
 

Mark is a Pipebagger!!!

I prefer “Baggingpiper,” thankyouverymuch.

Though “comment whore” works, also too. At least today (NO WANTY TO WORKY!).

 
 

he only hangover cure I ever had that worked was a black pudding and breakfast haggis,

possibly because after consuming this your body rebelled and expelled everything you had consumed in the previous twelve hours?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

“Just what the fuck do “conservatives” seek to conserve?”

Their privilege and power.

Next stupid question?

 
 

comment whore

Ain’t no shame in it.

 
 

bagging the pipes

 
Mark "Bagpipes" McD
 

bagging the pipes

Well, duh! (Link possibly NSFW, depending on the assholery of your IT staff.)

 
 

?Cow tongue, on the other hand … cut real thin, on that super-thin Petridge Farm bread, and with some horseradish on top, with a side of Pringles …

actually, i could probably stomach tongue (see what i did there?) if i did not know beforehand what i was actually eating…my mom made tongue once when we were little…we saw her just flop it down in a pan and we pretty much lost it…

 
 

I rather disbelieve the ‘only 9’ racially motivated crimes in Alabama.

 
 

possibly because after consuming this your body rebelled and expelled everything you had consumed in the previous twelve hours?

Nope. Ate up, the headache disappeared, my stomach settled, birds sand, rainbows arced…

 
 

birds sang, too

 
Mark "Bagpipes" McD
 

Aannnnnnnnd tag fail!!

Try this on for size instead!

 
 

Nope. Ate up, the headache disappeared, my stomach settled, birds sand, rainbows arced…

lucky…my hangover cure is chocolate milk followed by pepsi and a huge brunch, but i have yet to be transported to such heights…

 
Speaking of Drunken Scottish Writers
 

It was the day my grandmother exploded.

 
 

Actually, “conservatism”‘s probably one of the most variable belief systems in history, since it basically means “those people you meet at every point in history who bitch that things were better in the old days.”

No. It means people in favor of an aristocracy. Every other aspect of conservatism is bullshit and obfuscation. The bullshit and obfuscation part is, as you correctly point out, variable over time.

 
Mark "Bagpipes" McD
 

FYWP with a rusty drywall screw!

Seriously — I know how to do goddamn HTML, you stupid fucking worthless cunt shitty-ass software. Motherfuckshitfuck.

 
 

my hangover cure is chocolate milk followed by pepsi and a huge brunch

Salt, sugar, liquid, starch in some combo seem to be the secret. Sheep’s entrails are merely the icing on the cake.

 
 

birds sand,

Speaking of viscera, chicken gizzards are delicious!

 
 

Sheep’s entrails are merely the icing on the cake.

startled the dogs again…

 
 

“Constitutional freedoms against Islamic supremacism,” said Spencer”

Supremicism: This is a job for Super Moyle.

 
 

chicken gizzards are delicious!

my dad used to pickle these…our kitchen looked like it was full of jars of mutant body parts…*SHUDDER*

 
 

Messican know how to cook with scrap meat and do it right! You want a sure-fire hangover cure? Go with menudo. and lengua? Si, por favor, Senor!

 
 

Startling the dogs…

 
 

The fact is, you liberals are working with the muslims against America and the freedom therein. Your bias towards hate means you have no objectivism. Also the lack of balance means you are dum

 
 

We are the Judean People’s Front crack suicide squad! hundreds were laughtered.

Front cracks are theft.

“Just what the fuck do “conservatives” seek to conserve?”

Fruits and nuts.

 
 

“Ladies and gents, Maine’s new Department of Labor Serfdom!”

Republicans are now in their “Lets see how much of a dick we can be just for the hell of it” mode.

 
 

No. It means people in favor of an aristocracy. Every other aspect of conservatism is bullshit and obfuscation. The bullshit and obfuscation part is, as you correctly point out, variable over time.

Well…

The main reason you’d want to “conserve” a society is because you’re doing well in it, and the main reason you’d want to “go back” to an earlier society is because you were doing even better in that one. And clearly, the people with the most interest in that would be the upper class of the present society (or of the lately departed one).

So it covers the aristocracy, but I’d say it can also go broader, e.g. white people wanting to remain above minorities, middle class people wanting to remain above the working class.

 
 

Pam turning into a Scotsman shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone.

The jihadis mean to win Wimbledon!

And another vote for haggis, or as my Jewish grandma called it, kishke. I mean, Robert Burns wrote an ode to haggis, for Pete’s sake. Good haggis has to be made fresh, though. The stuff you find in the refrigerated case in the “British imports” store is better used as caulking.

 
 

Sheep’s entrails are merely the icing on the cake.

Avoiding birthday parties chez N__B.

 
 

So it covers the aristocracy, but I’d say it can also go broader, e.g. white people wanting to remain above minorities, middle class people wanting to remain above the working class.

I’d say that buying off working-class whites is part of the variable, bullshit-and-obfuscation part. Note that working-class whites do not actually improve their position under conservatives. Aristocrats do.

 
 

smut clyde: 3, 972

my attempts not to laugh: 0

 
Mark "Bagpipes" McD
 

Avoiding birthday parties chez McN__B’s.

I’n fixt ‘a fer ya, laddie!

Oh, and my cube neighbors are going to think I have a stash of nitrous under my desk, I’m laughing so damn much at this thread.

+1 to all.

 
 

The fact is, Apollo was astonished
Dionysius thought me mad
But they heard my story further
And they wondered and were sad

They sat awhile in silence
Then they turned at last to me:
“We are entitled to kee pur babies safe, Mr. Durbin.”

 
 

And another vote for haggis, or as my Jewish grandma called it, kishke.

We’re going to have to take you in for questioning.

 
 

Gary! What happened to your Italian avatar? Decided it wasn’t Mayflowery enough for a Real American of your caliber? Good for you, hombre.

 
 

We’re going to have to take you in for questioning.

it is a relief to know that i was not the only person whose thoughts turned to this song…

 
 

it is a relief to know that i was not the only person whose thoughts turned to this song…

Great minds think alike… so do ours!

 
 

In an egalitarian society, opposing the rise of an aristocracy would be unqualifiedly conservative. Contra Malaclypse, Phil Agre, and who knows else, the conservative-as-promoter-of-aristocracy definition is too narrow.

Alot of “the bullshit and obfuscation” in the U.S. is meant to construct a singular, portable (if you will) notion of conservatism (not -ismS) on par with liberalism in its specific moral content. It’s a fool’s errand in itself, but indispensable in service of an aristocracy.

 
 

Grated minds sprinkle alike!

 
 

Nope. Ate up, the headache disappeared, my stomach settled, birds sand, rainbows arced…

Arcing the rainbow.

 
 

Oh, great diddly FUCK.

Nymchange phale.

No one knew it was me, right?

 
 

Seriously — I know how to do goddamn HTML, you stupid fucking worthless cunt shitty-ass software. Motherfuckshitfuck.

You just need a space after the “href= ” and it should fix it (works for me anyway)

example

 
 

Grated minds sprinkle alike!

You’re channeling, zrm now, old chum!

 
 

Channeling ZRM…

 
 

Sheep’s entrails are merely the icing on the cake.

Done properly, one can also predict the future.

 
 

Sanding the bird.

 
 

“The future is that I’m going to hurl, if I eat this”

 
 

Hurling the future.

 
 

Done properly, one can also predict the future.

Hepatoscakey…

 
 

Also too, re: entrails

Pho without tripe is sad noodles.

 
 

Pho without tripe is sad noodles.

Don’t be stingy with the tendons, either!

 
 

Have I mentioned the fact that fish’s methods are unsound?
~

 
 

Oh look, it must be just around midnight somewhere…(6:38 pm here).
~

 
 

my dad used to pickle these…our kitchen looked like it was full of jars of mutant body parts…*SHUDDER*

OK, revealing myself as a total TV-watching plebe here, but there was there was this one episode of “King of Queens” where the main folks were in this gynecologist’s back yard, trying to fix a botched landscaping job, and one of them looks in the window and says:

“OMG, he’s got vaginas in JARS.”

“Those are peaches.”

 
 

“OMG, he’s got vaginas in JARS.”

“Those are peaches.”

this will make me giggle all night and i will likely start watching that show again so i can catch that one…

 
 

I sing ‘Who Stole the Binky?’ to the li’l Creaturette. I guess working my teenage years in a roadhouse joint with a Polka band leaves a indelible stain on one’s psyche.

 
 

I never wanted to live in Buffalo before.

I will sometimes eat bison meat, but residing within the carcass seems a bit crude.

 
 

I sing ‘Who Stole the Binky?’

now i have alternate words going through my head…so did they steal the binky from the creaturette’s crib (sung really fast) or do you still go with the butcher shop? just curious…in case you are leaving another indelible psyche stain…

 
 

seems a bit crude.

but warm…so i’ve heard…

 
 

The Muslins tukur jeeebs!

 
 

Steeling the Binky.

 
 

Parading the euphemisms.

 
 

Boring the commentariat.

 
 

I think we should steer clear of buffalo talk

 
 

Clearing the buffalo.

 
 

The Muslins tukur jeeebs!

But they’ll let us kee pur babbies!

 
 

bah, tagfail. I was of course quoting arky.

 
 

I think we should steer clear of buffalo talk

Taking the bull by the horns, eh?

 
Stag Party Palin
 

Going waaay back to the top, I vote for #2, slightly altered in order to make haggis, by comparison, more appealing:

Meade strode into the crack like an avenging angel, with his short, purposeless thrusts.

 
 

“OMG, he’s got vaginas in JARS.”
“Those are peaches.”

Now look what you made me link to.

 
 

It’s just that bison should be seen and not herd

 
 

““OMG, he’s got vaginas in JARS.”
“Those are peaches.”
Now look what you made me link to.”

Btw, I knew full well when i mentioned vaginas in jars it would be like a siren’s song for you.

Btw, TGP cheated: those are clearly duck vaginas.

 
 

Btw is my “the fact is”

 
 

Btw is my “the fact is”

What’s your address my point?

 
 

Addressing the point.

 
 

Mine is just “suck it, libs!”

 
 

Looching the thread.

 
 

Centralis ab map ointus!

 
 

it would be like a siren’s song for you.

I appreciate VS’ forbearance in eschewing other metaphors for “irresistible compulsion”, i.e. anything involving watermelons.

 
 

eschewing the watermelon

 
 

oh, really? that’s not the euphemism i thought would kill the thread…

 
 

i actually thought it would have been:
kneading the meade

 
 

….and now i’m going to take a nice, long, hot bubble bath…cuz i feel icky…

 
 

eschewing the watermelon

Afterward, you can squirt the seeds through your teef.

 
 

I will sometimes eat bison meat, but residing within the carcass seems a bit crude.

Yeah, let me tell you–you think they smell bad on the outside?

 
 

Watermelon seed
squeezin’ Meade
gotta bleach mah brain
‘for I link to Creed…

 
 

Still with the watermelons. You know that muskmelons are called that for a reason, right? Or so I hear.

 
 

Because musk oxen eat them?

 
 

“Sheep’s entrails are merely the icing on the cake.”

Done properly, one can also predict the future.

Don’t think of them as sheep.

Think of them as fortune cookies with legs. Big, fluffy white fortune cookies. Someday CNBC will fire Cramer, and replace him with a flock of Merinos…

 
 

She spelled the Senator’s name “Durban” (once) & then “Durbin” (twice) in the first paragraph.

No wonder her newspapering career was such a success.

 
 

Durban and turban go together, M.B.
~

 
 

Obviously. I wasn’t rejecting Freud or anything.

 
Dubious, but Amiable P
 

Someday CNBC will fire Cramer, and replace him with a flock of Merinos…

Well, at least the general level of discourse would go up a few notches.

Cheaper to feed and clothe too, I’d imagine.

 
 

She will be my second felony. right after Althouse and her band of “?”. I think I just wanted to say band “of” something.

 
 

Terrorists (how do you do the line through the words thing?) ……. Sorry, “nice lady” (that’s keeping the world safe from….. us?)

 
 

LAST!!

 
 

Fuookin up to my elbows in everything, here, but can’t you whiney liberals find anything real?

How about comparing the differences between both parties’ political appointees in the government systems, and ‘old style’ gibson guitars. They all seem to have broken headstcks.

 
 

That was “Headstocks” for anyone thinking I typo said “headstick.”

Perhaps this this is an eggcorn?

 
 

Yeah well, I’ve got an old headstock from a ’79 Paul which is all that’s left from a temper tantrum I had in the mid 90’s somewhere. Still has the original Grovers on it……………wanna talk?

 
 

I do not rate for watersportsmelon.

 
 

What about Blind Water Melon?

 
 

Blind Melon Jefferson?

 
 

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

Die die die die die die die die.

 
 

The Muslins tukur jeeebs!

But they’ll let us kee pur babbies!
–Whale Chowder, at 0:51

I literally have tears running down my face from laughing so hard.

Thank god none of my coworkers are here yet …

**standing ovation**

 
 

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

Die die die die die die die die.

Badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers

 
 

Badgers badger badgers badgering a snake a snake!

 
 

Hey.. Guess who’s gonna be in the car for the next 8 hours. Know what that gives me lots of time to do? Find Charlie Sheen news links for T&U.

 
 

Linking the Sheen.

 
 

Evil co-worker is talking about how she wants breast implants…she was also 40 minutes late. And left an hour early yesterday.

 
 

T&U, from what we have learned of her from you, she sounds exactly like the kind of woman who would get implanted.

 
 

She has been here 30 minutes and has talked the entire time.

Is she *trying* to get fired?

 
 

I think she should try to get fired in a more spectacular fashion. But it sounds like she my be too dumb and boring to do that.

 
 

Is she *trying* to get fired?

nope…rather a lack of self-awareness…she thinks she is so amazing that she can do what she wants and that everybody is dying to hear what she has to say on every subject…and the breast implants do not surprise me at all…

 
 

FWIW, I think a buffalo could buffalo a badger and a badger could badger a buffalo. What I need to know is: Could a buffalo badger a wolverine?

 
 

Could a buffalo badger a wolverine?

only in an airport restroom…

 
 

Evil co-worker is talking about how she wants breast implants…she was also 40 minutes late.

She should get the famed Big Ben implants that chime the quarter-hours.

 
 

She should get the famed Big Ben implants that chime the quarter-hours.

i have been racking my brain (see what i did there?) for a implant/timepiece joke…well done, sir!

 
 

nope…rather a lack of self-awareness…

That’s completely it. It’s almost pathological. She was arguing with the office manager yesterday about how much notice she had to give before she left work early. Office manager was obviously getting pissed, but she kept arguing.

 
 

Of Louis CK. Did I mention I’m tiyerd?

 
 

I think she should try to get fired in a more spectacular fashion. But it sounds like she my be too dumb and boring to do that.

I’ve considered a spectacular firing, myself.

 
 

T&U, see if you can do a “citizens firing” to her.

 
 

well done, sir!

Yes, I really had to stretch for BOOB jokes.

 
 

Evil co-worker is talking about how she wants breast implants…

Luxury! In my day we attached two large limpets to a woman’s chest and we were grateful.

 
 

Her hair looks really fucking stupid, too.

 
 

Her hair looks really fucking stupid

Bed head?

 
 

Wait, wait, wait, T&U. You left us hanging. How much notice must be given before one can leave work early?

 
 

Some weird kerchief wrapped around her head and her ponytail’s all weird and scraggly. It looks like she’s getting ready to work in the garden.

 
 

How much notice must be given before one can leave work early?

The office manager does not know for sure. She has never had the problem of someone asking to leave work early over and over again before, so she’ll have to check with HR. Right now it’s a couple of hours, apparently, even without an emergency.

 
 

“It looks like she’s getting ready to work in the garden.”

Damn Obamacare!!! Makes the poor woman harvest her own melons for implanting.

 
 

Working in the garden…

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

How much notice must be given before one can leave work early?

Two weeks, at most of the jerbs I’ve had.

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

…though since Utah is a “right to work” state you can leave whenever you want for any reason or for no reason. It’s the magnanimous perk you get for the managment’s ability to fire you under those same terms.

 
 

Tending to the fertile soil.

 
 

She’s talking about the fucking powdered donuts again.

 
 

Fucking the powdered….nah, too easy

 
 

Sharpening the spade….

 
 

Working the Hoe…what?

 
 

About three and a half minutes of Shrieking Harpie and then Pammy turns into a scotsman.

 
 

FLOYD!!! Needs moar Sheep and/or Pigs.

 
 

…though since Utah is a “right to work” state you can leave whenever you want for any reason or for no reason. It’s the magnanimous perk you get for the managment’s ability to fire you under those same terms.

In legal terms, you can do that anywhere. Giving notice is to maintain good relations for references and such.

 
 

Powdering Glazing the donut…

What?

 
 

Glazing the donut…

I wouldn’t call that masturbating, but okay.

 
 

I wouldn’t call that masturbating, but okay.

You’re thinking of glazing the onion ring.

 
 

Some weird kerchief wrapped around her head and her ponytail’s all weird and scraggly. It looks like she’s getting ready to work in the garden.

Is it a kerchief or a bandage?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Rachel Ray, cannibal?

 
 

She’s talking about the fucking powdered donuts again.

Tell her ’bout the rabbits!

 
 

Rachel Ray, cannibal?

She telegraphed her intentions by naming her dog Yummo.

 
 

The Rachel Ray link is blocked for me. So, I have to assume that the Bastard is calling her a dog?

 
 

naming her dog Yummo

When are people going to learn that stealing jokes from the Marx Brothers is pointless?

 
 

The Rachel Ray link is blocked for me. So, I have to assume that the Bastard is calling her a dog?

Nah, it’s a riff on the linked photoshop- I have to confess that I don’t hate Rachel Ray… Yeah, I’m sure I can cook better than her, and I find her a bit twee, but if she’s convinced non-cooks to prepare meals for themselves and their families, she’s done good work. Plus, some of her advice (clean and prep the vegetables as soon as you get home from the market) is really helpful. I’ve been T.V.-less for about four years now, so I haven’t seen her show in a long time, but I don’t hate her.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Tails magazine cover

Eat,
Ray,
Love

Rachel Ray
finds inspiration
In cooking
her family
and her dog

Picture of RR holding her dog.

 
 

I do not hate thee, Rachel Ray.
The reason why, I cannot say.
From crack of dawn to end of day,
I do not hate thee, Rachel Ray.

 
 

Rachael Ray doesn’t bother me. Her show’s serving sizes do though.

 
 

HAHAHAHA. I can’t stop laughing.

I despise Rachel Ray. Probably more than is healthy.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

I am slightly more put off by Rachel Ray than is Tony Bourdain. IOW, I’d slap her repeatedly if we were to meet.

 
Enraged Bull Limpet
 

chicken gizzards are delicious!

A long time ago in a state far, far, away, I’d often hang out with a couple of Iranian dudes who bunked down the dorm hall; their culturally-ingrained shuddering aversion to pigmeat had come up several times in conversation.

There was a chicken shack nearby that had hot fried chicken gizzards to go, a suitable munchie remedy in those days. One time another friend and I accompanied the two Persians to that joint, where we grabbed a large bag of gizzes. After scarfing two or three of these in the car on the return trip, one of the Iranians said,

“These are really good– what do you call them, again?”

“Gizzards,” replied my American friend.

(Complete bafflement) “What is this?”

“You know, gizzard: Pig nut.”

‘Twas an epic moment in the annals of horror.

On another visceral note, Campbell’s used to widely distribute a soup called “Pepper Pot” that contained bite-size bits of tripe. It was a family favorite in my childhood but is now quite hard to find except in more entrail-centric regions.

 
 

I am slightly more put off by Rachel Ray than is Tony Bourdain.

Dude. I didn’t know it was possible to hate that deeply. I’m impressed.

 
 

I actually think I’ve come to hate Bobby Flay even more.

 
 

There’s a bright golden haze on the cupcakes
There’s a bright golden haze on the cupcakes
The icing’s as high as a mongoose’s eye
And it looks like it’s going straight down to my thighs
Oh what a beautiful pastry
Oh what a beautiful cake
I’ve got a beautiful feeling
Everything’s heading gut way

 
 

Bam!
So I said to myself…self!
I don’t know where you buy your…..but where I buy…
Bam!Bam!
Hilda!
Doc!

I got lot’s more!

 
 

She telegraphed her intentions by naming her dog kid Yummo.

 
 

Then I add one quart of cream to my bacon, with a stick of butter. Fry that up till it’s a golden brown. I love to drizzle it with a cream cheese and butter icing.

Oh, here’s my son!

 
 

Then I add one quart of cream to my bacon, with a stick of butter. Fry that up till it’s a golden brown. I love to drizzle it with a cream cheese and butter icing.

Oh, here’s my son!

What do you call that recipe?

The Aristocrats!

 
 

I will now show you how to prepare Italian chicken br…..

Nah, too easy.

 
 

OOOOOOOOklahoma where the ‘tards Hoverround on the plains……

 
 

Oooh, Paula Deen is on my hate list, too. Ugh.

 
 

Uh, oh, are we heading toward “Food Network slashfic” territory?

 
 

I’m not worried about the safety of nuclear power. I’m more worried about the smedley administration. It’s a threat to our precious bodily fluids, and possibly communist.

 
 

All my food heroes are dead: Julia Child, The Galloping Gourmet, Keith Floyd, Justin Wilson.

If I had to pick only one it would be Floyd. Punk music segues ftw.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

I actually think I’ve come to hate Bobby Flay even more.

I’m not the only one??!! Don’t get me started on that festering pustule Paula Deen…

 
 

Stossel: No Group Has Had More Gov’t Help Than American Indians

Where is a steroidally raged out professional wrestler when we need him?

 
 

The Galloping Gourmet

When I was home sick from elementary school, I used to watch him.

Keith Floyd

He jumped the shark after he cooked the flying pig.

 
 

Paula deen doesn’t bother me either. Maybe its a southern thing.

If I were looking for food network people to hate on, I’d go straight to Sandra Lee or Melissa D’Arabian.

 
 

I despise Rachel Ray. Probably more than is healthy.

agreed…although i am intrigued by her new show’s premise: cook one day, eat for five…

but on the hatred scale, paula deen gets my vote everytime…there is something super creepy about her (and her sons) and her nasality drives me insane…

 
 

Sandra Lee

oooh, now i’m conflicted…sandra lee indeed ranks up there as one of the worst…

 
 

Paula Dean lays it on a bit thick, doncha think? Goddamn is she annoying.

Rachel Ray may be annoying as shit but, Tony fucking Bourdain? What the fuck is his talent, even?

 
 

bbkf, I’ve been taping Rachel’s new show so it’ll prod me into trying that cook-ahead method.

 
 

I used to have problems taking Giada di Laurentiis seriously. She wears that giant rock when cooking. Not a sign of professionalism about food. Plus someone that cooks italian with her waistline? Not a good sign.

But it looks like she does know her way around the kitchen, so first impressions &c.

 
 

plus Giada has the most creepy fake smile ever.

 
 

“Paula Dean lays it on a bit thick, doncha think?”

Yep. Although that doesn’t make me hate her.

 
 

Even though Giada wears more make up than most streetwalkers, I do find her rather endearing. Food seems to genuinely excite her, which is cool.

 
 

Rachel Ray may be annoying as shit but, Tony fucking Bourdain? What the fuck is his talent, even?

Self-promotion!

Plus someone that cooks italian with her waistline? Not a good sign.

You ever been to Italy, vecchio?

 
 

I think Rachel Ray tries too hard for the MaryAnne, kid sister personae.

 
 

Maybe Stossel is right this time. After all, they get casinos. I’m sure all those gambling profits have turned those reservations into virual paradise.

 
 

Plus I applaud Giada for not Anglo-fying her nose.

 
 

Some roided out pro-wrestler might give him an Indian burn this time if he doesn’t watch it.

 
 

bbkf, I’ve been taping Rachel’s new show so it’ll prod me into trying that cook-ahead method.

let me know if it works…

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Just to clarify, that revolting phony Paula Deen ain’t much of a cook either, or at least whatever peons she has slaving away in her kitchens aren’t. We’ve had lunches brought from her place that were inedible they were so oversalted. When the butter beans are saltier than the ham hocks that were cooked with them you’re dealing with shitty cooking. And the more shows she has the phonier her accent becomes. She may be a Savannah native, but she sure as shit doesn’t sound like one. /enraged rant

 
 

Jacques Pepin for the win.

 
 

bbkf, I still haven t determined whether they’re fake or not. What’s your verdict?

 
 

You ever been to Italy, vecchio?

No. I don’t think my stamina is good enough considering how they venerate motherhood over there.

 
 

You gotta know Bourdain’s jumped the shark when Zimmern’s show is about as interesting as his.

 
 

whether they’re fake or not. What’s your verdict?

I’m pretty sure Zimmern’s are real.

 
 

Lol. Btw, I love his show. Because he never condescends to his hosts. He always tries everything with a spirit of genuine curiosity and respect.

 
 

“Conservative” is basically a euphemism for “reactionary”.

 
 

The FN personalities don’t bother me, but some of the shows’ premises drive me nutz. “Chopped”: make something edible out of a group of ingredients you’ve never heard of, let alone would allow into the same pantry together, let alone the same dish.

OK, you’ve got Hummus, pickled pimiento, habanero peppers, chocolate syrup and pork rinds. Combine these into a dessert in 20 minutes…GO!

Or the shows where teams compete to create “art” using food. You’ve gotta wonder what starving Somalis would think if they could see these shows…

 
President smedley
 

The esteemed Senator from Oklahoma has nothing to fear from my Administration. After all, we will only take from each according to his ability and give to each according to his need, as mandated by our Lord and Savior, Unka Karl.

 
 

bbkf, that was my thought too. She is delicate and little…everywhere but there.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Saint Julia. Jacques Fucking Pepin. (the fact is, I have one of what must be a very limited number of Cooking With Julia and Jacques autographed by both of them. Got the sigs a couple years apart.) Mario knows his shit. The rest of them should suck my ass.

 
 

yes but what does euphemism mean? libtard.

 
 

Alton Brown doesn’t seem the felching type.

 
 

teh hubby can’t get past her boobs…

It’s happened before.

 
 

you’ve got Hummus, pickled pimiento, habanero peppers, chocolate syrup and pork rinds.

How did you know what I’m having for lunch?

 
 

I rate for Chef Tell but I hate everyone else who has ever had a cooking show or even appeared on one. So much.

 
 

You’ve gotta wonder what starving Somalis would think if they could see these shows… exactly…and even our own hungry and/or homeless…

Alton Brown doesn’t seem the felching type.

and he ain’t fetching either…ewwww

 
 

Stossel: No Group Has Had More Gov’t Help Than American Indians

Hey, black folks got here via all-expenses paid ocean sailboat cruises, received extensive job placement services including a WHOLE WAR just to keep them gainfully employed, top THAT, natives!

Consider every government action, from driving the natives off their land to every war ever fought, and it has always been white people who most benefited.

 
 

Multitasker!

 
 

I hate everyone else who has ever had a cooking show or even appeared on one. So much.

Even Kevin Brauch?

 
 

My amazing prowess in the kitchen is a direct result of watching the Sweedish Chef! Bork, bork bork!!!

 
 

Ackroyd’s SNL satire of Julia Child is one of my faves. I geuss she enjoyed it too.

 
 

Consider every government action, from driving the natives off their land to every war ever fought, and it has always been white people who most benefited.

jeesh, If you want to be picky I guess you have a point. could be coincidence, or euphemism, ever think of that libtard?

 
 

Making a treaty with the Natives.

 
 

Shhh, don’t tell TB that Bryan Fischer’s bearaphobic.

 
 

Making a treaty with the Natives.

Ejecting the autocthons from their home.

 
 

Coherence is over-rated.

 
 

Damn, misspelled autochthones… ignore the man behind the cretin!

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Fucking TPM. Can’t sign in on the iPad. I just wanted to point out that they failed to note that the SLPC has identified the AFA as a hate group.

 
 

Wait, re the Fischer link –

He’s also suggested that we should “handle Muslims just like we handle neo-Nazis.”

You mean extend to them the full courtesy of Constitutional protection? Allow them to build their all-white churches, have their swastika-bearing rallies, form their own associations, distribute their own literature, talk freely on the Internet and in public about how much they want to overthrow this stinking republic of ours? Leave them alone, respect their rights and only lock them up when they actually do something illegal? That’s what you’re suggesting we do to Muslims?

Give that man a cigar! I had no idea he’d gone liberal!

 
 

bryan fischer is certainly a dumb twat, isn’t he? a quote from jefferson:
Where the preamble declares, that coercion is a departure from the plan of the holy author of our religion, an amendment was proposed by inserting “Jesus Christ,” so that it would read “A departure from the plan of Jesus Christ, the holy author of our religion;” the insertion was rejected by the great majority, in proof that they meant to comprehend, within the mantle of its protection, the Jew and the Gentile, the Christian and Mohammedan, the Hindoo and Infidel of every denomination.
-Thomas Jefferson, Autobiography, in reference to the Virginia Act for Religious Freedom

 
 

bryan fischer is certainly a dumb twat, isn’t he?

But… but you’re qouting Thomas Jefferson! He’s not one of the REAL founding fathers. Everyone knows that the only real founding fathers are the three people who proposed inserting “Jesus Christ” in the first place.

 
 

Well, Jefferson and the other Founding Fathers also had that line about a well-regulated militia, and a whole host of other things. Founder intent doesn’t actually mean shit to the Goopers unless it confirms what they already want or they think it does.

 
 

dumb twat

and i mean no disrespect to actual twats whether they can speak or not…

 
 

Chris, you forgot guns. Allow them to own lots and lots of guns.

 
 

Fischer: While there certainly ought to be a presumption of religious liberty for non-Christian religious traditions in America, the Founders were not writing a suicide pact when they wrote the First Amendment.

“The Constitution is not a suicide pact” is the next to last refuge of a scoundrel. Also: wrong.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Ina Garten I can tolerate and frequently enjoy. Little known fact, she worked in the Carter WH as a nuclear policy analyst.

 
 

Inserting Jesus Christ.

 
 

Founder intent doesn’t actually mean shit to the Goopers unless it confirms what they already want or they think it does.

i am confused about how the goopers actually feel about the ffs…on the one hand, they praise their vision, intellect and ability to craft a document of such breadth and scope and that is still in use 200+ years, but otoh, they apparently think they were a bunch of ninnies who only believed there was one true religion and totally espoused only that (despite the pilgrims, etc.) and that they apparently thought the world consisted only of what they could see at the time.
is this where the cognitive dissonance comes in?

 
 

I thought St. Ronnie Raygun wrote the Bill of Right.

 
 

Bryan Fischer should get eaten by a grizzly.

 
 

Whoa there…. Inadequate intelligence! And the rest of your anti Scotish bigotty. Begbie will be round later & there will punches in the puss for all of yous.

 
 

refreshing the page.

I should do that first.

 
 

“The Constitution is not a suicide pact” is the next to last refuge of a scoundrel. Also: wrong.

Seems to me that Arizona and Texas are not in the Constitution.

Lets give them back.
~

 
 

but otoh, they apparently think they were a bunch of ninnies who only believed there was one true religion and totally espoused only that (despite the pilgrims, etc.) and that they apparently thought the world consisted only of what they could see at the time.

If you’re a conservative, that’s what constitutes “vision, intellect, and ability to craft teh bestest freest document ever.”

 
 

“The Constitution is not a suicide pact”
exactly…that would be the declaration of independence

 
 

Give me liberty or give me adequate ongoing comfort!

 
smedley, infidel of every denomination
 

“Inserting Jesus Christ.”

That must be for those Texas pole dancers for Christ.

 
 

Ina Garten I can tolerate and frequently enjoy.
she always seems to me to be on the verge of suicide…

Little known fact, she worked in the Carter WH as a nuclear policy analyst.
perhaps this is why

 
 

She is delicate and little…everywhere but there.

Her head is HUUUUUUUUGE.

I think she just wears really good bras, actually.

 
 

Melon implantation demonstrations.

the chick on the left’s face made me lulz…she’s like ‘you want me to do what?

 
 

I think she just wears really good bras, actually
of the round ’em up and head ’em out variety?

 
 

If I remember correctly, the Pilgrims were all for religious freedom. Theirs, but not anyone elses.

 
 

Give me liberty or give me adequate ongoing comfort!

Don’t tread on me! I bruise easily!

 
 

I think she just wears really good bras, actually
of the round ‘em up and head ‘em out variety?

Get along, little doggies.

 
 

Ina Garten I can tolerate and frequently enjoy.

I heard she got married and now goes by Ina Garten-DaVita.

 
 

I think she just wears really good bras, actually

Give me liberty or give me adequate ongoing comfort!

What a thread.

 
 

That must be for those Texas pole dancers for Christ.

I hear they conduct “pitching a tent” revivals.

 
 

That must be for those Texas pole dancers for Christ.

I hear they conduct “pitching a tent” revivals.

You obviously did not look at the video. The negation of sexy…

 
 

You obviously did not look at the video. The negation of sexy…

Flag on the play! I’m gonna have to call you on a Rule 34 violation…

 
smedley, infidel of every denomination
 

“You obviously did not look at the video. The negation of sexy…”

Even DKW passed on them….

 
 

The British are coming! Look out! They have guns!

 
 

You obviously did not look at the video. The negation of sexy…

I’m not scrolling up, but I’m assuming it’s from The Exorcist?

 
 

I’m not scrolling up, but I’m assuming it’s from The Exorcist?

Fat women in Texas pole-dancing for Christ.

 
 

Correction: One normal-sized woman and one fat woman.

 
 

We must all hang together, or we will surely all hang separately. Thank you.

Now watch this drive.

 
 

Even DKW passed on them…

Are you implying that I have no standards?

 
 

Fat women in Texas pole-dancing for Christ.

Oh. Okay.

 
 

Yeah, I thought DKW was a standard unto himself.

 
 

Standarding unto yourself?

 
 

I heard she got married and now goes by Ina Garten-DaVita.

BBBB is banned.
~

 
 

Don’t give up the ship without adequate personal flotation!
I have not yet begun to fight, nor do I plan to, as I could could get hurt.

 
 

“I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country, because from the look of things, I could use another one very soon.”

 
 

Standarding?

 
 

Actually, I missed the eariler Texan pole-dancers for Jesus link, but is it these lovely ladies? Sure some of them may be a bit matronly, but I see that as a good thing.

 
 

“Substance McGravitas said,
March 24, 2011 at 19:11

Melon implantation demonstrations.”

I think this post is actually by smut. It seems smutty.

 
 

Remember the Alamo, because they could have taken off while they had a chance.

 
 

Assfucking for Jesus!

 
 

These colors don’t run … because they have arch-support issues.

Also, if you’re having some thorny metaphysical dilemmas, try a dose of ADVICE GOD.

 
General McAuliffe
 

Nuts! and crackers will be served.

 
 

“Damn the torpedoes, they’re gonna hit us if we don’t get outta here!”

 
 

Hey! Leave us out of your religion.

 
 

Doin stuff for Jesus could explain why so many good white Christian folks love teabagging. They’re teabagging for Christ!

Not me. I do it for Satan.

 
 

“Come on, you sons of bitches, do you want to live forever?, because seriously, if you do, perhaps we should go somewhere with fewer irate Germans”

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

Oliver Fucking North is pissed that Obama didn’t get congressional approval to go into Libya.

I need a drink.

 
 

Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

March 24, 2011 at 19:56

BBBB is banned.

I prefer this version

Mrs. Feesh rocks!
~

 
 

ur the gravy on my cake. I Said let them eat bread. I wasn’t joshin’. and what of read meat? I bet my blood would beat your blood in a race to the bottom. mmm, starch.

 
 

The Mules said,
March 24, 2011 at 19:59
Hey! Leave us out of your religion.

Tell that to Neal Horsley.

 
 

boobies & iritating tv cooks; there can only be one winner, Nigella Lawson…..

 
 

Oliver Fucking North is pissed that Obama didn’t get congressional approval to go into Libya.

Come on, Iran Contra was, like, 25 years ago! Aren’t you over that yet?

 
Dubious, but Amiable P
 

“Inserting Jesus Christ.”

Orly?

 
 

Melon implantation demonstrations.

I’m thinking that route takes really long arms.

 
 

Come on, Iran Contra was, like, 25 years ago! Aren’t you over that yet?

I am, the congressional hearings and the resultant punishment of the perpetrators gave me a sense of closure!

Wait, what universe am I currently inhabiting?

 
Oregon Beer Snob
 

Turns out you can insert Buddha and Satan too! Always important to have variety in your life.

 
 

Wait, what universe am I currently inhabiting?

I don’t know, but it sounds lovely. Are there unicorns?

 
 

I don’t know, but it sounds lovely. Are there unicorns?

Yeah, it rains unicorns every morning- a lot of people get impaled…

 
 

I don’t know, but it sounds lovely. Are there unicorns?
are there sparkleponies? and chocolate?!?!?

 
 

are there sparkleponies? and chocolate?!?!?

There are chocolate sparkleponies (sprinkleponies?), and whisky fountains, and candy-coated orgasms.

 
 

Do you have to change your socks?

 
 

“candy-coated orgasms”

Do they melt in your mouth or your hand?

 
 

Congrats thundra on getting Immanetized by the Eschaton.

 
 

Congrats thundra on getting Immanetized by the Eschaton.

And to think, I knew him when…

 
 

All my food heroes are dead: Julia Child, The Galloping Gourmet, … .

Graham Kerr’s still alive, or did you give up on him when he moved towards an aggressively low-fat cooking style?

Also, I know it’s a minority opinion here but darn it, I like Alton Brown. Lots of geek appeal.

 
 

I’m afraid I can’t comment here any longer.

Reputation to protect, dontcha know.
~

 
 

I like Alton Brown, too.

 
 

Reputation to protect, dontcha know.

EVERYONE knows what the deal is with your dad. Not to diminish your mom or anything.

 
 

“March 24, 2011 at 20:55

Speaking of Eschaton, Atrios linked to this. JEEEEESUS.”

Eric Son of Eric, women wouldn’t hate you so much if you said less of that sort of thing.

 
 

I’m afraid I can’t comment here any longer.

COME BACK SHANE THUNDER!!!

 
 

Graham Kerr’s still alive, or did you give up on him when he moved towards an aggressively low-fat cooking style?

I’m from Wisconsin, where low-fat is a pejorative. He’s as good as dead to me!

Swedish Chef is another favorite.

 
 

Eric Son of Eric, women wouldn’t hate you so much if you said less of that sort of thing.

As usual, it says more about him that it does about Obama.

 
 

Yup.

Shorter Earache Son of Earache:

Bitches be CRAZY…havin’ periods and shit!

 
 

Also, his “inner sexist”? Dude, your sexist is totes an outie.

 
 

rofl! No kidding. I can see that sucker through the strained waist of his Dockers.

 
 

Speaking of Eschaton, Atrios linked to this. JEEEEESUS.

Ha ha, men don’t plan, don’t use maps and don’t know where they are or where they’re going but when it all goes to hell it’s because women want to stop and ask for directions. FROM THE FRENCH.

Eric Son of Eric, women wouldn’t hate you so much if you said less of that sort of thing.

I wouldn’t hate him much less.

 
 

COME BACK SHANE!!!

That “Obama is whipped by women” meme seems to be making the rounds throughout the wingnutosphere… I think even Alehouse harped on it.

Damn, they’re nothing but parrots.

 
 

And okay, who read that and felt really really sorry for his wife? Dude is taking passive aggressive to a whole new level.

 
 

I think even Alehouse harped on it.

Yup. I think Ms. VS had something about it, too.

I think I saw that kind of shit from a couple of “progressive” sources, too…can’t remember where, though.

 
 

And okay, who read that and felt really really sorry for his wife?

I totally did. Especially the “shopping list” comment for some reason. He probably doesn’t do jack shit around the house and complains when his wife asks him to hang a picture for her.

 
 

Extinction!

BwWWAaAHYAHAHAHhahadghhHAhAHffnnrdllllAAAHHHH!!!

BAH HA HA HHA HAHAHAH!!!

Dr. Dick Weiner. That is fucking AWESOME.

 
 

Michele Bachmann edges closer to 2012 GOP presidential bid

Somebody PUSH.

 
 

Dr. Dick Weiner. That is fucking AWESOME.

I’m more amused by your reaction than anything else.

Oh please, oh please…

Really? Do we really need any more embarrassment on the international stage?

 
 

“Extinction!”

Ireland?

 
 

Woo hoo, Thunder. Remember your buddies!

 
 

Religion has done nothing but good things for Ireland.

 
 

“313. BethW
22ND MARCH 2011 – 22:22
One cannot study the universe and possibly conclude that there is no God. It is far too precise, interwoven, complex. Yet, men in their pride exalt their thinking to conclude that there is no God. Yet,God formed the mind of men. To think that mankind just “happened” shows no logical reasoning at all that there was not a divine order and creation to our universe.”

Yes. THAT’S illogical.

 
 

Melon implantation demonstrations.

I am deeply disappointed that no-one has linked to the relevant Bloom County strip (“They must’ve planted cantaloupes”).

Kids today, no respect for the classics.

 
 

I love you both…inappropriately.

 
 

Don’t give up the ship without adequate personal flotation!

If S,N! used comment sub-threading then I would be able to tell whether this comment was still about breast implants.

and i mean no disrespect to actual twats whether they can speak or not…
Veiled “Indiscreet Jewels” reference.

 
 

Thanking tigris.

 
 

Not me. I do it for Satan.

Is Stan your husband’s name?

 
 

No, silly. His name is Satan.

 
 

So little Dudeskull’s name is really going to be Beelzebubba?

 
 

We’ll call him Beezle for short.

 
victorian blitz
 

Curious about which Robert Burns poem is the inspiration for the poem in this post.

 
 

That Ziocaine® can really mess with your head!

 
 

Real Americans don’t have the right to build mosques, so why should Muslims?

 
 

[Willie shares a flask of Scotch with the whipped wolf]
Groundskeeper Willie: Ah, don’t feel too bad. I was wrestling wolves when you were still suckling at your mother’s teat.

 
 

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