Aiaiaiyeeee! The iPad has started hiding the controls on my iPad. Ihad to listen to an extra 10 seconds of that beyond what I didn’t want to listen to in the first place. IT WAS WORSE THAN MY LAI
I would totally PWN both you and Thers with a post featuring that excrable Totino’s Pizza Rolls commercial with the stupid girls in headphones but it is not yet on the YouTube.
I did, however, beat both of you to the punch in featuring the What About FECES? commercial, which I still contend could be made into an awesome Xtranormal video.
T&U – Disney movies used to convince young girls they should all want to be princesses. These days, Disney TV convinces young girls that they should all want to be skanky ho pop stars.
These days, Disney TV convinces young girls that they should all want to be skanky ho pop stars.
It’s not just that though: the video is about satisfaction that the products you purchase are also purchased by famous people. It’s meta advertising, educating you in what’s really important when you spend your money. Really, pretty dumb not to just tack a commercial for something right on the end of that.
Quick drop-in. I didn’t notice there was a new thread. I’ve left Libya & NFZ updates at the bottom of the last thread, for those who are interested.
I’ve got lots of pots and pans on the stove, so I wasn’t able to read any of the last thread. I hope I can at lurk some on this one…and that everyone is enjoying the Sadly rollercoaster.
He’s some scientist in the antipodes, has a blog, it’s HILARIOUS…
**DUCKS**
Actually, Kiki is probably an upcoming product that will be ground out of the Disney/Nick starlet extrusion facility any day now- wheels within wheels.
The fact is, all you liberals are increasinly irrelevant because of the freedom taking place here in the heartlad, we are talking our country back, and defunding liberal bias you scum you fucking scum you faggots fucking die die die die
Watchoo cooking? Better be a blog, mister! How soon until you can roll out?
B^4: Yup, that sho nuff one uv ’em. B^4. But I’ve also got a proposal to write, and I haven’t done one of those in a long time. (And, no, I’ve been unmarried all my life.) I made some progress on the blog this morning.
*whispers* My target date was this coming Saturday, but the proposal may push it back. Keep it under your hat, okay?
‘Gary’: That was good! Excellent mispellings, not too many, just enough to spice. But here are the giveaways: (1) Initial caps (rest in lowercase; (2) No all-caps shouting at the end, as you transition into frenzied bile and hate (or perhaps are reaching climax); (3) only one milquetoast comma, instead of multiple exclamation marks typical of the genre. (Remember to spinkle in some 111’s for added authenticity)
I always thought that the pop star phenomena was something like neoliberalism applied to music. Instead of having a band both write and play all their own music, you outsource the writing of the songs, possibly the singing too, and just pick someone really telegenic to be the face of the thing.
In theory you should end up with a superior product, since there is no reason that great songwiriters are also great singers and also good looking you can have the best of each field.
Yet it doesn’t work…like every other outsourcing some hack picked the cheapest of each and no one gives a shit about the quality and we end up with cultural embarrassments like this.
Okay, the more I think about this shit, the ragier I get. These kids’ parents plonked down at least 10K to do this fucking shit. Some of them probably spent as much as somebody makes in a year working full-time at Walmart.
Okay, the more I think about this shit, the ragier I get. These kids’ parents plonked down at least 10K to do this fucking shit. Some of them probably spent as much as somebody makes in a year working full-time at Walmart.
gee, what could be bothering you? the creeper aspect? the parents as pimps aspect? the exploiting your child so you can be filthy rich aspect?
ya know, t & u, sometimes i think i don’t really know you at all…
On-topic: I don’t have anything against pop (if that’s what the two songs were). And even though weasals are using it to mold them into consumers, I remember being a teenager and cruising on Friday nights [for T&U:] in Lawrence, 1964-1967.
Can you call something pop if it gets a lot airplay? Then this crusiing-on-Friday song surely qualifies. Whenever I was in the front seat, I turned it up loud when it came on. [Can’t get the tags to work; here is the link]
I tried to watch it. I was thinking, it would be fine if he went off to his boyfriend or something. Alas, for reasons unfathomable the DSL here at our new place – in a brownfield urban development zone with big$$ condos – is fucking slow and not too reliable (which has ruined streamig netflix for us) and anyway, I only watched until he opened the door for what appeared to be a teenybimbo.
I dunno. It culminates in her taking a picture of him while he’s sleeping and he’s drooling, but they played it up for effect. And then she sent it to everyone in school. Not sure it’s worth it, although I am amused by one part where it appears he’s checking out another dude at the pool.
Disney movies used to convince young girls they should all want to be princesses. These days, Disney TV convinces young girls that they should all want to be skanky ho pop stars.
And people complain that there’s no progress… [wipes tear from eye]
OT–lisa lampanelli just called larry king a triple threat–at any given time he could have a heart attack, a stroke or shit his pants. this is the funniest thing i have ever heard her say…
I have a google alert on a few things including my spouse’s name. When you boys take your creepy gratuitous shots at her over here, I like to come over and return a little fire.
Badooodle-booo-yah! I’m back, looney libs! Did ya miss da Cool Coach?
Soon Super Sarah, the Power Palin, will………….um, something something………….
address my point!………………..um………………
Ah, screw this. Even I don’t believe in me anymore. Fuggit.
Also, what the fuck. The software has gotten vastly better over the past, oh, nearly fifteen years now. How come they still make these hacks sound like the audio equivalent of a Chuck-E-Cheese animatronic fuckwit via Autotune abuse?
Christ. I can’t get three lines in without wanting to brain the “producer” with a frozen armadillo.
Its a little known conspiracacy. A Frenchman, MMe Charles Ernst Fromage, emigrated to America as a small child, with only a hat and a dream. (This voyage inspired the Walt Herzog classic “An American Tail”, starring Klaus Kinski and Fievel Rodentia.) He was an italian food conneusiuer, almost having been made consigliere at Le Boutique Linguini in Venice, and quite the inventor. He would have worked closely with Marconi had he (Marconi) not died some time before. Upon arrival in America, he had his name, unpronounceable especially by those of cyrillic backgrounds, Anglicized. Although this name has been lost to history, his, Fromage’s history continues. He moved to Kentucky, enlisting in the Kentucky defences during the great war of blaming the north for negroes in the period 1961-1965 inclusive. Upon billeting out, his commanding officer, known to his men only as “The Colonel”, sought to hire Charles at his latest venture, a restaurant, but upon discovering that MMe Fromage was either italian, had a favorable impression of italians, or was from a country very near to Italy, was forced to renege the offer, as italians were not yet caucasian. Undaunted and very hungover, Charles, in a fit of pique, invented the soggy pizza of many bland ingredients, and animatronics. Days later, after successfully separating his notes on the two inventions, and successfully talking the parents of many now-toothless children not to hamstring him, he was sued to oblivion by Imagineering LLC., Orlando Florida. They offered him a living, sans dignity, to serve as the corporate face of Chuck E Cheeses. Not long aftter, he was found, tits up, smeared with peanut butter and floating in a very nice claret.
On a lighter note, What’s up Coachy-Coach? Family already sick of yer ass? The failure of Tebow allowing you to sleep at night? Come on back, big guy – smooches!
Cole’s video contains a drive by rapping in the middle, and also deals with the whole front seat-back seat issue. It starts out with mindless inanity and and gets worse as it goes. DA’s video just sucks from start to finish. I feel a bit traitorous, but I think Cole wins this one.
But but but . . my mangoes.
This video is strictly for the “creepy dude in a van outside the grammar school” set.
Hey, it’s a mini-van pal
The internet gods aren’t letting me load it. I’m going to take that as a sing.
Your mangoes delicious, gocart. So sweet and so cold.
Who’s Art?
You do know Kim Kardashian has a video out, right?
But no, my friends…that “Friday” video is way, way worse. It’s like the Disney kid-turned-pop-star factory, only with stars from Nickelodeon shows.
No, I think you win this round.
I want Substance to enter the fray. He’s got some pretty hardcore stuff at the House.
Oof. I’ve made a call to the proper authorities: you’re in big trouble.
GENES LIKE ME IS RACIST.
I assume that’s a Montessori school class project on consumerism and propanganda techniques. If I’m wrong, please don’t tell me.
Aiaiaiyeeee! The iPad has started hiding the controls on my iPad. Ihad to listen to an extra 10 seconds of that beyond what I didn’t want to listen to in the first place. IT WAS WORSE THAN MY LAI
I would totally PWN both you and Thers with a post featuring that excrable Totino’s Pizza Rolls commercial with the stupid girls in headphones but it is not yet on the YouTube.
I did, however, beat both of you to the punch in featuring the What About FECES? commercial, which I still contend could be made into an awesome Xtranormal video.
The guy in the van that says “Free Candy” on the side.
*shiver*
DA wins.
And I must be getting old, because I thought, “There’s no way that girl is old enough to drive! And look how short her skirt is!”
Plus, that is some of the worst lip-syncing I have ever seen. It’s sad when I think, “Hey, maybe New Kids on the Block weren’t so bad after all.”
T&U – Disney movies used to convince young girls they should all want to be princesses. These days, Disney TV convinces young girls that they should all want to be skanky ho pop stars.
It’s not just that though: the video is about satisfaction that the products you purchase are also purchased by famous people. It’s meta advertising, educating you in what’s really important when you spend your money. Really, pretty dumb not to just tack a commercial for something right on the end of that.
HOW DO THESE THINGS HAPPEN!?!?!?!
Really, pretty dumb not to just tack a commercial for something right on the end of that.
except if that commercial were for pajama jeans…
It’s not just that though: the video is about satisfaction that the products you purchase are also purchased by famous people.
I don’t understand. Bitch, you got those jeans from Forever 21 for $12. Who gives a fuck?
And who is Kiki whoever?
Speaking of jeans…
And who is Kiki whoever?
hey! i was just going to ask that!
BTW, have I ever mentioned how happy it makes me that YouTube didn’t exist when I was a teen?
This is how the world ends, not with Bam but with his little sister
not with Bam but with his little sister
do not TELL me there is another one of them whom we will be afflicted with!!!
*rousing golf clap*
Only 20 seconds watched, and I want to blow up the earth. Just imagine if I’d sat through the whole thing.
Lord, one hopes not, the pressure of rhyming and time do not allow for research. I know I should avoid them but it is a poetic metaphor
Only 20 seconds watched, and I want to blow up the earth. Just imagine if I’d sat through the whole thing.
yowza, never thought i would be nostalgic for aladdin and ariel…
Quick drop-in. I didn’t notice there was a new thread. I’ve left Libya & NFZ updates at the bottom of the last thread, for those who are interested.
I’ve got lots of pots and pans on the stove, so I wasn’t able to read any of the last thread. I hope I can at lurk some on this one…and that everyone is enjoying the Sadly rollercoaster.
*steps back into the shadows*
And who is Kiki whoever?
He’s some scientist in the antipodes, has a blog, it’s HILARIOUS…
**DUCKS**
Actually, Kiki is probably an upcoming product that will be ground out of the Disney/Nick starlet extrusion facility any day now- wheels within wheels.
I’ve got lots of pots and pans on the stove, so I wasn’t able to read any of the last thread.
Watchoo cooking? Better be a blog, mister! How soon until you can roll out?
yowza, never thought i would be nostalgic for aladdin and ariel…
Bush declared Aladdin an enemy combatant and Ariel’s a hipster now.
Bush declared Aladdin an enemy combatant and Ariel’s a hipster now.
I thought Ariel succumbed to Corexit poisoning in the Gulf of Mexico?
These days, Disney TV convinces young girls that they should all want to be skanky ho pop stars.
I miss the more wholesome days when kids’ cartoon shows were just trying to sell you candy (Juliet Dagger aren’t usually so awful, honest).
The only tweeny thing I can find called “Kiki” is a magazine. It looks to be Teen, but for girls who aren’t allowed to read about s-e-x.
The fact is, all you liberals are increasinly irrelevant because of the freedom taking place here in the heartlad, we are talking our country back, and defunding liberal bias you scum you fucking scum you faggots fucking die die die die
Princess shit is just as bad, really. It’s just for a different age group.
“Heartlad” has to be a Freudian slip of some sort.
Yet another film classic from Arkansas.
Watchoo cooking? Better be a blog, mister! How soon until you can roll out?
B^4: Yup, that sho nuff one uv ’em. B^4. But I’ve also got a proposal to write, and I haven’t done one of those in a long time. (And, no, I’ve been unmarried all my life.) I made some progress on the blog this morning.
*whispers* My target date was this coming Saturday, but the proposal may push it back. Keep it under your hat, okay?
‘Gary’: That was good! Excellent mispellings, not too many, just enough to spice. But here are the giveaways: (1) Initial caps (rest in lowercase; (2) No all-caps shouting at the end, as you transition into frenzied bile and hate (or perhaps are reaching climax); (3) only one milquetoast comma, instead of multiple exclamation marks typical of the genre. (Remember to spinkle in some 111’s for added authenticity)
Tag-fail. Rusty. Plus I blame WordPress.
The only tweeny thing I can find called “Kiki” is a magazine. It looks to be Teen, but for girls who aren’t allowed to read about s-e-x.
it is this…
the problem was that you were going for the traditional spelling of kiki…
But you’d be surprised how few freaks there are in Central Arkansas. I mean, we got no shortage of fuck-ups, but none of them have gone pro yet.”
sweeeet!
And who is Kiki whoever?
He’s some scientist in the antipodes, has a blog, it’s HILARIOUS…
This is not the kiki you are looking for
” we are talking our country back, and defunding liberal bias you scum you fucking scum you faggots fucking die die die die”
This started out strong, but kind of petered out at the end. I feel like your heartlad wasn’t really in it.
I like this Keke PAlmer song
That’s a low blow DA.
So are the chicks.
What? They’re short!
Who the Hell Made Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’ Video?
So MAAAAAAAAAAAANY teenybopper music mangoes.
Both of these are just begging to be done as a “literal music video”
Well, more DA’s entry since the Friday video already practically is a literal music video…
This one’s the best because…well, just watch.
he answer is Ark Music Factory, a Los Angeles-based company operating as an industry hybrid of Maurice Starr and John Bennett Ramsey.
gack…after reading the article, this is soooo true…
The formula is simple: They’ll fly your child between the specified ages of 13-17
any parent who allows this should dif…
I always thought that the pop star phenomena was something like neoliberalism applied to music. Instead of having a band both write and play all their own music, you outsource the writing of the songs, possibly the singing too, and just pick someone really telegenic to be the face of the thing.
In theory you should end up with a superior product, since there is no reason that great songwiriters are also great singers and also good looking you can have the best of each field.
Yet it doesn’t work…like every other outsourcing some hack picked the cheapest of each and no one gives a shit about the quality and we end up with cultural embarrassments like this.
This one’s the best because…well, just watch.
i am totes growing my hair long enough to play with it aimlessly like that…wow, that’s a talent, alright…
any parent who allows this should dif…
um, diaf…my ire messed up my fire…
any parent who allows this should dif…
the monkees?
i am totes growing my hair long enough to play with it aimlessly like that…wow, that’s a talent, alright…
Did you get to the drooling part yet?
Normally I would feel bad about making fun of children…
n theory you should end up with a superior product,
the monkees?
not that other post…damn you, wp…
Did you get to the drooling part yet?
d’oh! i didn’t watch far enough…now i hafta go back!
Did you get to the drooling part yet?
ow! she totally pwnd him! i must say there is a scandalous amount of clothing in that video…what’s up with that?
Okay, the more I think about this shit, the ragier I get. These kids’ parents plonked down at least 10K to do this fucking shit. Some of them probably spent as much as somebody makes in a year working full-time at Walmart.
i am totes growing my hair long enough to play with it aimlessly like that…wow, that’s a talent, alright…
Yeppers.
(Speaking of DIAF.)
~
Okay, the more I think about this shit, the ragier I get. These kids’ parents plonked down at least 10K to do this fucking shit. Some of them probably spent as much as somebody makes in a year working full-time at Walmart.
gee, what could be bothering you? the creeper aspect? the parents as pimps aspect? the exploiting your child so you can be filthy rich aspect?
ya know, t & u, sometimes i think i don’t really know you at all…
Yeppers.
(Speaking of DIAF.)
so i was being unintentionally bi-lingual…cool!
Really? The video features “Baby Triggy“?
Oh man… Gettin’ Triggy Wit It!
Come come now, I know I’m not around but you folks are more creative than this!
hi actor! *waves*
Jennifer,
This one, you mean
BBKF!
How they hanging???
Look, I was concentrating on the homoeroticism of a photo of a teenage twink-type with white shit dribbling out the side of his mouth, k?
How they hanging???
high and dry, baby!
On-topic: I don’t have anything against pop (if that’s what the two songs were). And even though weasals are using it to mold them into consumers, I remember being a teenager and cruising on Friday nights [for T&U:] in Lawrence, 1964-1967.
Can you call something pop if it gets a lot airplay? Then this crusiing-on-Friday song surely qualifies. Whenever I was in the front seat, I turned it up loud when it came on. [Can’t get the tags to work; here is the link]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WH6UnvSlahc&feature=related
*Ffffffff-ttt*
Describes my current condition, too.
gee, what could be bothering you? the creeper aspect? the parents as pimps aspect? the exploiting your child so you can be filthy rich aspect?,/i>
I’m not sure it’s even pimping out their kids at this point. It seems more like a 21st century version of a pony.
D’oh!
It seems more like a 21st century version of a pony.
hadn’t thought of that…good point…
also actor, i wasn’t waving *those*
It’s OK. It’s not Friday at 3PM. It’s not time to Bounce Your Boobies (or the male equivalent)
“Look, I was concentrating on the homoeroticism of a photo of a teenage twink-type with white shit dribbling out the side his mouth”
Wait! What’d I miss?!
AFAF
Fenwick said,
*Ffffffff-ttt*
Describes my current condition, too.
A Homeland Security™ officer will be by to assist you shortly.
P.S. Nice lineup of tunes in the Youtube sidebar, also.
~
For PM’s “friend”.
Tell me that kid isn’t gay.
actor – ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!
Yes, that’s the one.
Bounce Your Boobies
sir, i may never be the same after viewing that…but i will watch it again because teh hubby will find it hilarious…
I tried to watch it. I was thinking, it would be fine if he went off to his boyfriend or something. Alas, for reasons unfathomable the DSL here at our new place – in a brownfield urban development zone with big$$ condos – is fucking slow and not too reliable (which has ruined streamig netflix for us) and anyway, I only watched until he opened the door for what appeared to be a teenybimbo.
So I should try again, eh?
T&U should be kind and give a time in the clip.
So I should try again, eh?
YES
Hiya actor!
So I should try again, eh?
I dunno. It culminates in her taking a picture of him while he’s sleeping and he’s drooling, but they played it up for effect. And then she sent it to everyone in school. Not sure it’s worth it, although I am amused by one part where it appears he’s checking out another dude at the pool.
time is right around the two minute mark…
Disney movies used to convince young girls they should all want to be princesses. These days, Disney TV convinces young girls that they should all want to be skanky ho pop stars.
And people complain that there’s no progress… [wipes tear from eye]
It’s toward the end. I’m not watching that piece of shit again. Plus, my internet connection ain’t all that great either. But at least it’s free.
If I had rich parents, I’d want one of these.
If I had rich parents, I’d want one of these.
Hell, they’re not even a decent entree unless you have EndangeredCatHelper.
OT–lisa lampanelli just called larry king a triple threat–at any given time he could have a heart attack, a stroke or shit his pants. this is the funniest thing i have ever heard her say…
Whatever, Alf.
OHYES I WENT THERE!!!
Whenever someone mentions Randi Rhodes I always think of Randy Rhodes:
Protip (for the umpteenth time): append the following to a YouTube URI to start the video at a specific offset – #t=2m30s or what have you.
Whenever someone mentions Randi Rhodes I always think of Randy Rhodes
i always think of a cross between dusty rhodes and macho man randy savage…
Ooops that’s Randy Rhoads – still I am so glad I got to see him 2 months before he died. Amazing player.
It’s kind of amusing to mute the sound and watch that kid silently emote and writhe. For about 20 seconds anyway.
Meade:
It just can’t be good to advertise this.
FYWP.
Ordinarily you pull down the jeans to show disrespect.
I don’t mean to be catty, but shouldn’t that girl be a friend? Like, the fat friend, only for girls who are too popular for fat friends?
Sorry PM, I could have spared you the intro. I’m a bad geek.
Where do these spectacularly untalented young women come from?
Badooodle-booo-yah! I’m back, looney libs! Did ya miss da Cool Coach?
Soon Super Sarah, the Power Palin, will………….um, something something………….
address my point!………………..um………………
Ah, screw this. Even I don’t believe in me anymore. Fuggit.
Coach out.
If the coach doesn’t believe in himself, I don’t think we can win. What do you think, fellows?
“Where do these spectacularly untalented young women come from?”
Wahjeenahs!
OT–lisa lampanelli just called larry king a triple threat
Was Lisa at your Xian ladies meeting?
Ugh. Couldn’t she pop her eyes out any farther?
um,
Also, what the fuck. The software has gotten vastly better over the past, oh, nearly fifteen years now. How come they still make these hacks sound like the audio equivalent of a Chuck-E-Cheese animatronic fuckwit via Autotune abuse?
Christ. I can’t get three lines in without wanting to brain the “producer” with a frozen armadillo.
my brain is a little bit broken now. thanks a lot.
also, i only watched part of it before i had to turn away…but i didn’t see any jeans anywhere.
Dubious P,
Its a little known conspiracacy. A Frenchman, MMe Charles Ernst Fromage, emigrated to America as a small child, with only a hat and a dream. (This voyage inspired the Walt Herzog classic “An American Tail”, starring Klaus Kinski and Fievel Rodentia.) He was an italian food conneusiuer, almost having been made consigliere at Le Boutique Linguini in Venice, and quite the inventor. He would have worked closely with Marconi had he (Marconi) not died some time before. Upon arrival in America, he had his name, unpronounceable especially by those of cyrillic backgrounds, Anglicized. Although this name has been lost to history, his, Fromage’s history continues. He moved to Kentucky, enlisting in the Kentucky defences during the great war of blaming the north for negroes in the period 1961-1965 inclusive. Upon billeting out, his commanding officer, known to his men only as “The Colonel”, sought to hire Charles at his latest venture, a restaurant, but upon discovering that MMe Fromage was either italian, had a favorable impression of italians, or was from a country very near to Italy, was forced to renege the offer, as italians were not yet caucasian. Undaunted and very hungover, Charles, in a fit of pique, invented the soggy pizza of many bland ingredients, and animatronics. Days later, after successfully separating his notes on the two inventions, and successfully talking the parents of many now-toothless children not to hamstring him, he was sued to oblivion by Imagineering LLC., Orlando Florida. They offered him a living, sans dignity, to serve as the corporate face of Chuck E Cheeses. Not long aftter, he was found, tits up, smeared with peanut butter and floating in a very nice claret.
On a lighter note, What’s up Coachy-Coach? Family already sick of yer ass? The failure of Tebow allowing you to sleep at night? Come on back, big guy – smooches!
Sorry – Autotune makes me develop a burning rash in my neocortex. PASS.
Meade: “Unless what you want is to maintain a jerk circle.”
Hee.
Cole’s video contains a drive by rapping in the middle, and also deals with the whole front seat-back seat issue. It starts out with mindless inanity and and gets worse as it goes. DA’s video just sucks from start to finish. I feel a bit traitorous, but I think Cole wins this one.
Anyone else think it’s odd that none of those girls seem to be wearing jeans?
This is a parody, right? It’s an ode to designer jeans, and how cool they are because celebrities wear them.
There is no way somebody would deliberately portray themselves as that shallow.
It must be a parody.
Right?
Has anyone seen Will Smith’s kids vid?
“I move my hand back and forth”
I like the 21st century pony theory btw.
This one?
Funny, but a bit too much Mr. Rogers in the voice.
Was Lisa at your Xian ladies meeting?
sadly, no…it would have been interesting to hear her explain camel toe…
I skipped those years.
Ark Music Factory: the “Glamour Shots” of the 21st Century.
Who put that little kid behind the wheel of a car? I realize the car isn’t actually moving, but still. Sweet Jesus.