Sheer Genius

ABOVE: Bill Flax


Earlier this morning, while perusing the recent output of the brain trust over at the American Thinker website, I saw a post by someone named Bill Flax titled “It’s Time for Gays to Get Married.” Surely, it’s a mistake, I thought, or the site has been hacked, or I’ve misread the title or something.

Gays have every bit as much right to get married as you or I. And in fact, they should.

What next? Is K-Lo going to announce that she’s started screwing black men and has had five abortions? Is Jonah Goldberg going to start bathing regularly and wearing unstained ironed shirts? Is Peggy Noonan going to reveal that at last she’s started attending AA meetings?

A homosexual man has an identical right to take a woman in holy matrimony as may any other man. Likewise, the rest of us have just as little right to take some guy and pronounce him a bride. This isn’t a question of differing rights. Our rights remain in perfect symmetry. Homosexuals are now and always have been permitted to marry.

And anti-miscegenation statutes didn’t discriminate either. Blacks had the same right to marry someone of their own race as whites did.

Of course, this is the American Thinker we’re talking about. Surely Flax isn’t simply going to repeat this tired old pseudo-gotcha and leave it at that. Certainly he’s going to put an extra-wingnutty spin on it, isn’t he?

Marriage is and must always remain one man and one woman. … Rather than seek to undermine such a foundational institution necessary for healthy society, homosexuals ought to get married. Marriage would temper their urges and channel their desires into something beneficial for both them and society at large.

Because that worked out so well for Rock Hudson.

 

Comments: 272

 
 
 

“Homosexuals are allowed to marry who we want them to marry, therefore they’re not discriminated against.”

Yeah, I’ve heard that one before. Except it was a Soviet joke the first time around: “If in America they have the right to say Reagan is an asshole, and in Russia we have the right to say Reagan is an asshole, doesn’t that mean we all have the same rights?”

 
 

In Soviet Union, homosexual marry you!</i

(No, it doesn't make sense. But send it to Flax. I'm sure he'll claim it proves something.)

(And I love "pseudo-gotcha.")

 
 

In Soviet Union, close-tag not work either!

 
 

Marriage would temper their urges

Doesn’t he mean “quench their urges”? And while we’re discussing metallurgy, he does know that tempering makes the material stringer, right?

 
 

Marriage would temper their urges and channel their desires into something beneficial for both them and society at large.

More to the point, it homosexuals marry people of the opposite sex, it will allow us to go back to pretending they don’t exist. It’s not as if there’s anything the least bit totalitarian about insisting that other people pretend to be what we’d like them to be so we can sustain our fantasies of the way things should be. It is, after all, all about us. What’s a lifetime of quiet desperation for the homosexual (and his wife) compared with making sure our tender sensibilities aren’t challenged?

 
 

And while I’m at it, fuck “holy matrimony” with a rusty chainsaw. Mrs. __B and I were married at by the county clerk and we’re just as married as any bible-lickers.

(While I’m at at it)^2: My position on marriage equality has not changed since the topic was first brought to my attention about fifteen years ago. Separation of church and state, IMO, means that we should stop letting preachers of any stripe sign legal documents re other people’s marriages. The civil marriage is the one that everyone must have equal rights to, and it should only be performed by the state. People are free to have whatever religious ceremony they want with whatever idiotic rules, but ti should carry no legal weight. My names for these two separate ceremonies are “marriage” for civil marriage, and “religious marriage” for the other.

 
 

Also. Too.

What makes all these conservative yokels so sure that gay men would just LOVE vagina, if only they got a steady diet of it, when all indications are that they, themselves, aren’t all that fond of vagina?

Or is it just a twofer for them? Combine two dangerous things that threaten the moral fabric of society – vaginas and homosexuals – together so they can neutralize each other.

 
 

What’s a lifetime of quiet desperation for the homosexual (and his wife) compared with making sure our tender sensibilities aren’t challenged?

You know, it almost sounds like they’re asking for political correctness.

 
 

Chris – there are two things I find it handy to keep in mind whenever confronted with conservatives or conservatism.

1) The average conservative is like the average 4-year-old in that the world revolves around them. And like the average 4-year-old, they are prone to outbursts and tantrums when reality intervenes to show them that it’s not, in fact, all about them or when they don’t get their way.
2) Half of all people are of below-average intelligence. Which helps explain #1.

 
professordarkheart
 

it seems that as a woman, i have no right to expect that the man who “takes” me in matrimony (i picture a black car, some hooded accomplices, a brief scuffle) actually wants to fuck me. i should be content if my role in marriage is to serve as such a giant turn-off for my husband that he can no longer bring himself to indulge his real “urges” in every subway bathroom and public park he passes.

is this garden-variety misogyny on flax’s part or, more tragically, his attempt to convince himself that his own sex life is totally heteronormative?

 
 

And while I’m at it, fuck “holy matrimony” with a rusty chainsaw. Mrs. __B and I were married at by the county clerk and we’re just as married as any bible-lickers.

Here’s a line from a fundie preacher I read a while ago in my mini-feed on the Book of Faces:

“Most foundationally, marriage is the doing of God. And ultimately, marriage is the display of God. It displays the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his people to the world in a way that no other event or institution does. Marriage, therefore, is not mainly about being in love. It’s mainly about telling the truth with our lives. And staying married is not about staying in love. It is about keeping covenant and putting the glory of Christ’s covenant-keeping love on display.”

I can understand religious people wanting God to be central to their relationship, but when you reach a point where you say “marriage is not mainly about love and staying married is not about staying in love,” you’re off the deep end. Explains the number of dysfunctional, unhappy marriages that continue to exist in their fundamentalist utopias despite the fact that God’s supposedly in charge of everything.

 
 

…despite the fact that God’s supposedly in charge of everything.

Oh, He definitely is. He just wants to make sure that fundamentalists are miserable.

Quite the jokester, the Big Guy is.

 
 

Getting marriage right is enough of a challenge for two people. A threesome involving a zombie seems impractical.

 
guitarist manqué
 

Marriage would temper their urges

Hell yes it will. Marriage is very similar to tempering or even annealing. One is thrust into the burning coals until white hot and then placed on an unyielding surface and pounded repeatedly by an implacable hammer then harshly cooled by icy waters before being put back into the flames. Heat, pound, cool, repeat.

It does, however, have significant tax advantages.

 
 

“Is Peggy Noonan going to reveal that at last she’s started attending AA meetings? ”

She will arrive by rickshaw.

 
 

TruculentandUnreliable said,

March 13, 2011 at 17:23

Happiness is a sin.

Unless it comes from scolding others.
~

 
 

Half of all people are of below-average intelligence. Which helps explain #1.

That would be “median”, rather than “average”.

 
 

That would be “median”, rather than “average”.

For a variable that follows the normal distribution (like IQ) mean = median.

 
 

“Temper” is one of those funny words that means itself and its opposite. Like “sanction”: The committee refused to sanction his activities. Temper can also mean “weaken, make milder”: His anger was tempered by mercy.

 
 

“Temper” is one of those funny words that means itself and its opposite. Like “sanction”

I know. Also: cleave, inflammable. But why let logic stand in the way of a cheap joke?

 
 

Cheap joke > logic

Every time.
~

 
 

Dude sounds bitter he had marry an icky girl ‘cuz no self-respecting gay guy would have him.

Also: Unimpeachable logic! Suck it, libtards!

 
 

Most foundationally, marriage is the doing of God

Hot.

Half of all people are of below-average intelligence

I really hate this pseudo-factoid. In actuality, about 75% of people fall within the range of IQ considered to be “average” (~ 90-110). And half of the remaining quarter are above 110, so really only 12.5% of people are below average IQ.

 
 

In actuality, about 75% of people fall within the range of IQ considered to be “average” (~ 90-110). And half of the remaining quarter are above 110, so really only 12.5% of people are below average IQ.

So…87.5% are dumber than Sadlynauts?

 
 

Dude sounds bitter he had marry an icky girl ‘cuz no self-respecting gay guy would have him.

There are a significant number of conservative pundits whose strident arguments against gay marriage carry the rather sad undertone of, “It’s totally natural to have these urges. You just have to suppress them. Yeah. *weeps softly*”

 
 

You know, it almost sounds like they’re asking for political religical correctness.

 
professordarkheart
 

i mean, why should it matter to a homosexual if he has to squeeze his eyes shut and think of ricky martin in order to successfully “channel his urges” into a hole that with the lights on is about as appealing to him as that scary tree stump from flash gordon with the poisonous scorpion thingies inside it? after all, that’s what sex is like for us straights and you don’t hear us whining about it, amirite guys? guys?

oh and hey, do you guys wanna come over and watch my dvd of flash gordon again tonight? i bookmarked all the good scenes.

 
 

Bobo’s new book reviewed in the NYT:

Readers of his Op-Ed column in The New York Times know that David Brooks is an aficionado of research in the social sciences, especially psychology, and that he believes it has great practical importance….This device is supposed to relieve the tedium of what would otherwise be like skimming through 10 years’ worth of the Tuesday Science Times. But fiction is not Brooks’s métier, and he lacks the ability to create characters that compel belief.

 
 

oh and hey, do you guys wanna come over and watch my dvd of flash gordon again tonight?

Make a “300” and “Flash” double feature and you’re on!

 
 

he lacks the ability to create characters that compel belief.

This asshole has clearly never read the astoundingly beautiful “Cloudberry Yogurt Decision” passage.

 
 

It may have had overtones and undertones of something or other, but Flash Gordon was a masterpiece of Zardozian proportions.

 
 

You guys, don’t let your sons hang out with Mr. Flax. He’s bound to ask them if they’ve ever been to a Turkish prison.

 
 

Bill – actually, when talking IQ, since it’s a Gaussian distribution, median and average are pretty much the same thing. With half falling above the median or average and half falling below.

 
 

…he lacks the ability to create characters that compel belief.

That’s not true! His “Applebees Salad Bar Attendant” wowed ’em at the box office!
~

 
 

“Is Peggy Noonan going to reveal that at last she’s started attending AA meetings? ”

She will arrive by rickshaw.

Escorted by dolphins?

 
 

It may have had overtones and undertones of something or other, but Flash Gordon was a masterpiece of Zardozian proportions.

For more overt-tones ther’s always Flesh Gordon and, heh, I just learned while from Wikipedia and IMDB that the monster (The Great God Porno) was voiced by none other than Craig T Nelson.

 
 

the monster (The Great God Porno) was voiced by none other than Craig T Nelson.

His finest work.

 
 

Martin Luther said that bigamy was just fine by the Bible, so the whole, “marriage has always been defined as..” is nothing but a bald faced lie.

 
 

Time to break out the Bierce…

Bigamy (n.) A mistake in judgment for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.

 
 

Quit making fun of Amy!

 
professordarkheart
 

Marriage would temper their urges and channel their desires into something beneficial for both them and society at large.

Vaginas: now beneficial both for gays and for society at large!

 
 

I love how these idiots pretend they are some sort of comic.

 
 

“Vaginas: now beneficial both for gays and for society at large!”

Ok, but how does he feel about Fleshlights?

 
 

Bigamy? Well it’s big of me too! One woman and one man was good enough fot your grandmother, but who wants to marry your grandmother.

 
 

This asshole has clearly never read the astoundingly beautiful “Cloudberry Yogurt Decision” passage.

this passage will forever stay in my mind…

 
 

Ok, but how does he feel about Fleshlights?

They are only to be used by men named Gordon.

 
 

Rather than seek to undermine such a foundational institution necessary for healthy society, homosexuals ought to get married.

yes, nothing upholds the ‘sanctity’ of marriage like a good old fashioned ceremony based on a big fat old lie…

 
 

And staying married is not about staying in love. It is about keeping covenant and putting the glory of Christ’s covenant-keeping love on display.”

Guess that exempts all those married people who aren’t Christians.

 
 

nothing upholds the ‘sanctity’ of marriage like a good old fashioned ceremony based on a big fat old lie…

It’s not always a lie. Sometimes it really is a schmuckalovitch and not a petzl.

 
professordarkheart
 

Ok, but how does he feel about Fleshlights?

probably not great. from what i’ve seen, your average wingnut is only interested in an orifice if it’s attached to a person whose rights he can abrogate in the course of defining its value to society. i suspect it’s not the orifice itself that gets them off, its the telling everyone what it’s for.

e.g., vaginas are only for procreative sex and the emission of full-term babies, and assholes are only for shitting and the occasional production of columns for the american thinker website.

 
 

No gay weddings so God has punished America with the Muslamosocialist Obama. CHANGE YOUR WAYS.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Priests, ministers, people who sent their $29.95 (We take Paypal!) to Pastors-R-Us.com can solemnize marriages, right? As can certain governemnt officials.

So why do you have to go to a judge to dissolve it?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

IOW, you whingnut bigot jerk wad, isn’t it great that government can fix the problems your church made? Phptphtphpthpht

 
 

As a peer-designated fourth-degree mensa libertarian, I am roundly compelled to correct a common flaw in liberal notional cognition. Freedom that defies traditional authoritative institutional structures is instead, by definition, a lack of freedom for the sensibilities of those whose worldview derives offense from practices it deems outside of natural and normal boundaries, therefore liberals should refrain from sullying our discourse with their threatening totalitarian views.

You’re welcome.

 
 

As a peer-designated fourth-degree mensa libertarian, I am roundly compelled to correct a common flaw in liberal notional cognition. Freedom that defies traditional authoritative institutional structures is instead, by definition, a lack of freedom for the sensibilities of those whose worldview derives offense from practices it deems outside of natural and normal boundaries, therefore liberals should refrain from sullying our discourse with their threatening totalitarian views.

Shorter: you think freedom means doing whatever you want? You’re wrong. True freedom means doing what I tell you.

Thank the Antichrist character from Chronicles of Narnia for that line.

 
 

From Mr. Flax’s column (dem some Rotten Mangoes):

“Homosexuality has been politicized to an extent never seen before in America. What was once barely visible has become front page news and the object of incessant glorification. The entertainment industry inundates us with charming portraits of benign homosexuality.

From the closet, homosexuality emerged into the open; from the open, it ascended to acceptability; from acceptability to equality, and from equality exalted onto a pedestal. Thus does the West stray from its cultural moorings.”

Shorter: Back in the closet,* fags.

*It’s not so bad here, I should know.

 
 

And do we call such ramblings “Flaxulence?”

Doesn’t quite roll of the tongue, but close.

 
 

It’s not always a lie. Sometimes it really is a schmuckalovitch and not a petzl.

oh, you know what i mean…but i have no idea what you mean…those words are foreign to me…

 
 

Thus does the West stray from its cultural moorings.

The West is a lost puppy.

 
 

And do we call such ramblings “Flaxulence?”

or a flax billge up…

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

From a review of Bill Exlax’ book at Forbes:

About Paul Krugman’s absurd suggestion that our post-crisis recession resulted “from a ‘savings glut’” that led to “constricted credit”, Flax asks “How can the problem of too little liquidity be caused by too much saving?”  The ridiculous view that our problems stateside were the result of too much capital flowing our way has ensnared many “deep thinkers” who should know better, and Flax masterfully dismisses such silly commentary.  

He totally pwned that idiot Nobel laureate Professor of Economics! HAW HAW

 
 

those words are foreign to me…

Some guidance.

 
 

So… hate to ask, but it’s making my brane itch.

The li’l blue feller behind Flax… where’s he from? Some CG animation flick of recent vintage, I assume? Looks familiar, but can’t place it!
.

 
 

I really don’t get why the straight only folks are so afraid of the gays. It ain’t like the gays are gonna break in their houses, fuck ’em up the ass, then drag ’em down to city hall and force ’em to say “I do.” These gay haters are really just a bunch of chicken shits. I see ’em whenever I go to my old home place: “Look Lucy, there’s a homo! Hurry, cross the street before he says something to us.” As if his very words, hello how are you doin’, were gonna give ’em an instant sex reversal and cause ’em to have to divorce for being incompatible. I visited an uncle’s house for a kind of reunion a couple months back (my cousin had died from an accident at the asphalt plant), and all they could talk about was that one of the men who mixes the tar pot at the plant might be running around with a nelly farmer in the next county over. Jesus H. Christ! They really just need to think about something else, like the price of bale cotton.

 
 

Some guidance.

Oh, hilarious! I know her! We used to have beers allatime.
.

 
 

And by the way… That will be the last time I borrow President Obama’s tele-promoter!

jesus…she can’t even get her snark right!

 
 

Some guidance.

thanks, n_b…new words for my vocabulary…

 
 

really don’t get why the straight only folks are so afraid of the gays. It ain’t like the gays are gonna break in their houses, fuck ‘em up the ass, then drag ‘em down to city hall and force ‘em to say “I do.”

what kills me is when they are all, ‘he better not be looking at my ass!’ or ‘if he touches my ass, i’m gonna fucking kill him!’

i just look at them and say, ‘wow, you’re thinking pretty highly of yourself…what makes you think ANYbody wants your ass?’

 
 

I really don’t get why the straight only folks are so afraid of the gays. It ain’t like the gays are gonna break in their houses, fuck ‘em up the ass, then drag ‘em down to city hall and force ‘em to say “I do.

This is the thing that vexes me too. I mean, their fixation on gays and gay sex is weird. I consider one of the advantages to being both sane and an adult is that if there is a sex act I consider distasteful, I don’t have to sweat it–because nobody’s making me do it! And nobody’s forcing me to ruminate on it 24-7, either. Also, I don’t consider what happens in other people’s bedrooms even REMOTELY any of my business. Gotta wonder about people who fixate on this stuff…

 
 

i just look at them and say, ‘wow, you’re thinking pretty highly of yourself…what makes you think ANYbody wants your ass?’

I think pasty, pear-shaped, pudgy wingnut ass is HOT. What’s wrong with you, bbkf?

 
 

I think pasty, pear-shaped, pudgy wingnut ass is HOT. What’s wrong with you, bbkf?

i am going to assume that is just your preggo hormones talking and not a deficiency or weirdness on my part!

 
 

And staying married is not about staying in love. It is about keeping covenant and putting the glory of Christ’s covenant-keeping love on display

So it is about staying in love, just with some man I’m not married to?

From the closet, homosexuality emerged into the open; from the open, it ascended to acceptability; from acceptability to equality, and from equality exalted onto a pedestal. Thus does the West stray from its cultural moorings.

The cultural moorings that include ancient Greece?

 
 

The cultural moorings that include ancient Greece?

Homosex is ok if it’s all 300-y. Duh, tigris!

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

I really don’t get why the straight only folks are so afraid of the gays. It ain’t like the gays are gonna break in their houses, fuck ‘em up the ass, then drag ‘em down to city hall and force ‘em to say “I do.

I find your ideas intriguing. Do you perhaps have a newsletter….

 
 

Shorter: you think freedom means doing whatever you want? You’re wrong. True freedom means doing what I tell you.

“This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me!”
~

 
 

Thus does the West stray from its cultural moorings.

When did the West become part of the global caliphate??

 
 

And nobody except actor212 is forcing me to ruminate on it 24-7,

fiksed for truth justice and the sadly,no! way

 
 

“When did the West become part of the global caliphate??”

January 20 2009

/SASQ

 
 

There are a significant number of conservative pundits whose strident arguments against gay marriage carry the rather sad undertone of, “It’s totally natural to have these urges. You just have to suppress them. Yeah. *weeps softly*”

Another one of those fellows, Marcus “Mr Michele” Bachmann, advising that “urges” must be controlled.

 
 

I’ll ask again!

So… hate to ask, but it’s making my brane itch.

The li’l blue feller behind Flax… where’s he from? Some CG animation flick of recent vintage, I assume? Looks familiar, but can’t place it!
.

 
 

Jeffraham, my best guess is that it may be from the animated film, “Shark Tale”

 
 

vs — Thanks! Can’t find it in an image search for that flick, but I’ll keep askin’. Maybe someone on fb will know.
.

 
 

The last time I saw a big bag of hot air stray from its moorings, there was a big explosion and some guy shrieking about “the humanity.” Flax should maybe take a hint.

(And Hi, Jeffraham, long time no see!)

 
 

(And Hi, Jeffraham, long time no see!)

Are you also an Echo refugee? 😉
.

 
 

Um, yeah, sort of. It sucketh mightily. How are the lads?

 
 

How are the lads?

The kittehs are awesome. You can click my name and see what Curly & LarryElvis have been up to, lately.
.

 
 

Jeffraham,

I think this Wikipedia page may be of use to you.

OT: It’s been so long since I’ve posted here that I don’t remember if that’s even the screen name I’ve used in the past.

 
 

Omg, I wasnt even close. Sorry, Jeffraham!

*hides in corner*

 
 

I think this Wikipedia page may be of use to you.

Oh Hail YES. That is it. Used to see annoying web ads for it allatime. Thanks for soothing the brane itch, whoever you are and/or were!
.

 
 

Marriage will temper teh ghay urges exactly as effectively as it does for heterosexuals. That’s why once straight people get married, they never, ever cheat. Especially if they’re not really attracted to each other in the first place.

 
 

Omg, I wasnt even close. Sorry, Jeffraham!

Hey, thanks for tryin’ — the style is definitely similar to a lot of the CG animation seen recently, so you were on the right track. You have to figure that unless someone recognized it, only Tintin could have told us, for sure.
.

 
 

“And nobody except actor212 is forcing me to ruminate on it 24-7,”

Ya know, I don’t think he’s made me look at his etchings in a long while. My considerable charms mustve worn off. *sobs*

 
 

“That’s why once straight people get married, they never, ever cheat. ”

I only cheated with AMERICA.

 
 

Another one of those fellows, Marcus “Mr Michele” Bachmann, advising that “urges” must be controlled.

That fills in a lot of blank space. I wonder, oh, I do, how well his activities would stand up to a presidential candidate background check? Vetting, it’s what’s for dinner.

 
 

Looch, I searched Dr. B.’s Xian counseling website, but couldn’t find any references to curing the queers, ‘though I’ve heard that he does that.

Of course, if they have to go through his dirty laundry to stop his beardwife, the battle may already be lost.

 
 

Hey, crazy Shelly is famous in MN for sneaking around in the bushes to spy on teh gayz back when she was just a state wingnut so nothing from her is too crazy.

 
 

S. cere,

It gets better. She once claimed to have been trapped in a restroom by a veritable plethora of angry dykes after a meeting and had to force her way out. No witnesses, Batshit Shelley’s all disheveled and wild-eyed – I thinking her definition of trapped is somewhat askew.

Turns out reality lacked those little scene-setting bits of glorious wild-ass speculation, causing the women who were accused of ass-ault some confusion and 10 minutes of local fame

http://stillwatertribune.blogspot.com/2005/05/minnesota-bachmann-trapped-in-scandia.html

 
 

She once claimed to have been trapped in a restroom by a veritable plethora of angry dykes after a meeting and had to force her way out.

It’s the after-school special version of a women’s prison flick. This is an underserved cinematic niche.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

“veritable plethora of angry dykes”

Horde? Murder? Clutch?

 
 

A holland of dykes.

 
 

Of course, if they have to go through his dirty laundry to stop his beardwife, the battle may already be lost.

Mebbe. But that dude has the creepy all over him. Add into that his family associations and I would, as a background checker, be looking for things that disproved his creepiness. I would be working under the assumption it was there, and to the degree that it would raise serious doubts about her.

I mean, look at the dude.

 
 

Horde? Murder? Clutch?

Flange?

 
 

Wow, so it’s about displaying covenant-keeping love with Christ? Does that sort of imply that Jesus really really liked his church early on, and then later started to notice the church’s cellulite and annoying laugh and tendency to get really moody and withdrawn whenever it saw another church that was prettier or more fun, and eventually Jesus and the church settled into this whole Lockhorns sort of ennui-deadened hate, where Jesus is all like “The best thing about this consecrated Host, Rome, is that it shouldn’t take that long to biodegrade” and the church points out that his blood alcohol content is 14 percent, and everyone is incredibly miserable? Because that sounds sort of awful too.

 
 

I’m always curious about insignia and medals. I wonder medal Flax is wearing. I don’t recognize it. What’s the name of the medal? What achievement does it recognize? Who awards it? Can anyone help me out here?

 
 

‘what medal’ I blame WordPress.

 
 

That was splendid, Doc!

 
 

The thing behind him is ‘Crazy Frog’. Some techno clip had the frog doing the ‘pretending to rev a motorcycle’ thing. I think. It was a song.

 
 

Wingnuts are never so stupid as when they try to be clever. This asshat should not try to cross the street by himself. On second hand, maybe he should go play in traffic.

 
 

The thing behind him is ‘Crazy Frog’. Some techno clip had the frog doing the ‘pretending to rev a motorcycle’ thing. I think. It was a song.

Here’s the original video. I think: Crazy Frog’s done remakes of a ton of other songs, but I think this was their first.

Thank my freshman and sophomore year roommate for the fact that I know this – and coincidentally, he was a hardcore Christian fundamentalist who would totally have agreed with Monsieur Flax.

 
 

Is it,perhaps, the Croix de Gay?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

So the very very very creepy Mr. Bachmann includes in his cred a PhD in clinical psychology from “Union Graduate School.” And a MA from guess where … G’won g’head guess ….Regent U. Anyway, the closest thing I can find to that is Union Institute and University (which appears to be legit, surprisingly if that’s the one on his CV). UI&U does have a couple PhD programs but not in clinical psychology. They offer a PsyD in clinical psych. I note this merely out of curiosity.

 
 

The fact is, and it is unrefudiatable, that marrige is between one man and a woman and under God, like the USA is.

 
 

” marrige is between one man and a woman and under God”

Kinky!

 
 

Yaaaawn.

If these jackholes repeat themselves any more they’ll sound like Max Headroom. With a stutter.

You-ca-you-ca-you-can get married. T-t-t-t-o anyone you want.

 
 

It’s called a Holy Trinity. Safe word is “Darwin.”

 
 

She once claimed to have been trapped in a restroom by a veritable plethora of angry dykes after a meeting and had to force her way out.

IOW, a chick with a mullet didn’t smile at her while she was washing her hands.

 
 

And even if that story did happen (because we all know that lesbians like to hang out in bathrooms in hopes of accosting good Christian women), am I supposed to feel sorry for her? If you act like a fuckwit in public, be prepared to have people tell you you’re a fuckwit from time to time, especially when your fuckwittery contributes to making their lives worse.

 
 

Horde? Murder? Clutch?

A tribade.

 
 

I used to have a Swiss Army knife with three blades.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the freeper’s comments on Obama’s Gridiron Club speech. Gad, they are nasty, vile, hateful, stupid people.

 
 

oh?!!
I’ve used this “Of course the gays can marry, what’s the fuss about?-> How? –> why, to an opposite gender partner, of course!!! Haha!” joke at parties, with relative success. Quite surprised to see someone stating in earnest?…

 
 

MB: That works. Perfect blend of fundamentalist intelorance and repressed sexual desires.

 
 

Coming Attraction (or not)

I’m working on the second Libya piece for posting on S,N. I’ll put it up whenever it’s done, hopefully in this thread.

The piece will be a succinct distillation of my own analysis and assessment of military (mainly ground) operations over the last three weeks…spiced with supposition, opinion, and speculation.

The piece will not wander far afield into political issues or the international response. I know the No-Fly Zone is a controversial a topic here; I will save those observations until (if?) the UN Security Council passes an NFZ-authorization resolution.

Thanks for the Sadlies’ patience for letting me use S,N as a temporary commentary platform until I get the Duchy up and running. (I worked on it more today, btw.) I hope the Libya post will be informative, or at least thought-provoking.

 
 

Done kilt the thread.
It’s stone cold dead.

 
 

Because that worked out so well for Rock Hudson.

You know who snarked and sniggered like a junior-high kid about Hudson’s homosexuality and his phony marriage? Michael Medved. Yes, the same Michael Medved who now bloviates about the sanctity of marriage.
That guy was a fuckhead when he was a cheap-shot movie “critic,” and he’s a fuckhead now.

 
 

Done kilt the thread.

No. TIme change fucked everything up. Nobody’s sure what to do. Stay up till sleepy and risk oversleeping, or go to bed now and thrash around for an hour and oversleep anyway.

 
 

I just watched Larry the Cable Guy doing roller derby ON THE HISTORY CHANNEL. We are doomed.

 
 

rodertrudis: Thanks for reminding me!

I don’t pay attention to time much, keeping insane hours, wild fluctuations. (Didn’t awake until 3 PM today.) All my adult life I’ve been a Night Hawk. I’m heading into my peak hours as I key this.

But I DO have volunteer work tomorrow afternoon, and would have screwed that up without re-setting my alarm clock. So thanks also from the studio of the Maryland State Library for the Blind and Physically Handicapped.

Also, I’ve enjoyed reading your short stories here. I want to experiment with an occaisional feature at the Duchy….Collaborative Short Story Week. Read the story so far, add some paragraphs to it. It could be a fun rollercoaster. You’re a natural for it. What do you think of the idea?

Also, Hi Scribe! Totes agree on smug fuckhead blowhard oatmeal-braned asshole Michael Medved. At the time I thought what happened to Rock Hudson was tragic, both in his closeted life…and in his death.

 
Spanky the invisible SUPER MONKEY
 

Marriage would temper their urges and channel their desires into something beneficial for both them and society at large.

And those despicable and horrible desires are such a danger to society, aren’t they Billy?

Spanky, Spanky.

 
 

And…S.cerevisiae is here, too! Did you experience the ferocious near-gale storm? My brother in Eugene lost power tonight. He said there was ‘horizontal’ rain.

You certainly bought some vowels foryour nym! I get confused keying it and have to check, especially the last three. Is it okay for me to use ‘S.cerevis’ in convos? Even my sieve-like memory can handle that…

 
 

Spanky: Speaking of nyms. How did you acquire invisibility? Bitten by some radioactive critter? The One Ring? (Or perhaps one of the Nine?)

Also how can I acquire invisibility? Drawback? Advantages? How many questions can I shotgun in one comment?

 
waterwitch of ancient spelndor
 

Fenwick, I’ve been pondering over my peanut butter sammich how to pronounce the name of your fiefdom. Is it Dooky? Dutch-y (like unto Hollandaise?). Doochey? Ducky?

 
 

Dude! I can never spell it off the top of my head so I keep a copy I can paste if needed so no worries. Call me beer yeast if nothing else.

We had a wicked little squall in Corvallis that actually blacked out downtown today for a couple of hours. I had power at my house and walked down to Block 15 Brewery and they didn’t skip a beat having no power. The kitchen was just serving cold sandwiches but all the beer was still flowing freely. My kind of place.

Y’all must not get the kind of wind we get back in MN. I can tell because that little squall broke off a bunch of tree branches and if it happened a lot you would not get as many dropped branches at once.

 
waterwitch of ancient splendor
 

That should be Ancient SPLENdor, by the way…

 
 

Oh shit. I’d better bail soon. I’ve been running on gallons of coffee for about nine hours and haven’t eaten. I need some grub. And I hope to finish drafting the Libya piece before I crash.

*steps back into the shadows*

 
 

Or just S.c. is fine too. The big question is if humanity is collectively smarter than us.

 
 

Waterwitch, it’s Dutch-y, like unto Hollandaise indeed.

 
waterwitch of ancient splendor
 

Most kind, Chris. Thanks.

 
 

Pass de duchy on de left hand side…

 
 

Dutch-y (like unto Hollandaise?).

You got it, waterwitch! The full title will be the Duchy of Grand Fenwick [google it for the hook and backstory].

Admittedly, some people may consider my blog douche-y as well. ( I expect snideness about the title from time-to-time in the comments.)

I’ve never done one, but I’ve had some encouragement here to try it… and I’m committed to doing it. I’m reluctant to put it up until I get a better handle on it. I don’t want it to be douche-y and embarrassing.

 
 

S. cerevis: I hadn’t thought of Fenwickian rules of the road. Left hand or Right hand? Or perhaps pure roadway anarchy…

This has been fun, but I gotta bail now. I’m hungry.

 
waterwitch of ancient splendor
 

Fenwick I did try to avoid the obvious, but it certainly flitted through my mind…And I do remember the Duchy of Grand Fenwick. Is there a moonshot in your future, too?

 
 

This turd probably thinks he’s the first genius who ever came up with this lame gotcha, too.

I haven’t read upthread yet, but I expect I’m probably at least the 10th person to point this out.

 
 

Fenwick, you are more coherent than 90 percent of the people on teh interwebs so don’t worry. That being said, coherence and sanity are not what brings eyeballs to a site so then you must come over to the dark side (HA HA HA!).

Seriously, I’m just giving you a little grief, don’t take it wrong. When an Ojibwe teases you it just means we think you’re cool.

 
 

Adding more couples to marriage will weaken it exactly as much as adding more money to the Pentagon’s budget will bankrupt it.

The venerable old trade of selling warm soft lifestyle-affirming hokum has never faced a crisis as dire as the Interwebs. A good question is kryptonite to bullshit, & the vast, menacing & virtually indestructible series of tubes now serves as a global nursery for millions of very good & timely questions which can easily be archived.

Yum.

 
 

One last one for waterwitch: Ah, the three ancient kingdoms of Middle Earth…Arnor, Gondor, and Splendor.

 
waterwitch of ancient splendor
 

Yah, Splendor’s the one with the Bejazzled Towers.

 
 

crazy frog obviosiosly all the eurotrash are asleep or performing abortions right now, as the so called crazy frog fucked with our senses for a sad period last year. It was even a ring tone that every jackass seemed to have

Libya piece

Oh please don’t let it be another muscular libera tome… Please, have read so much of that shit over the w/e, that it feels like 2002 again

 
 

total tag fail…… Fywp

 
 

Being Gay always seemed such a sure thing to me….. I’m not gay .(maybe I am.)…. I just can’t wrap my mind around being who I am and then somebody says it’s not really who I am. I just don’t know any better……… Just seems strange. Not right. I wonder if you’re born not knowing right from wrong. That’s the question I have. Being Gay is not a question. Not to me.

 
 

And fuck him for making me use inappropriate quotations. Prick!

 
 

(no pissy- ass co-workers were harmed during this rant)

 
 

And anti-miscegenation statutes didn’t discriminate either. Blacks had the same right to marry someone of their own race as whites did.

Exactly right. That’s pretty much the same argument the state put forth in Loving v. Virginia, and the Supreme Court was having none of it:

Thus, the State contends that, because its miscegenation statutes punish equally both the white and the Negro participants in an interracial marriage, these statutes, despite their reliance on racial classifications, do not constitute an invidious discrimination based upon race.
[. . .]
Because we reject the notion that the mere “equal application” of a statute containing racial classifications is enough to remove the classifications from the Fourteenth Amendment’s proscription of all invidious racial discriminations, we do not accept the State’s contention that these statutes should be upheld if there is any possible basis for concluding that they serve a rational purpose.
[ . . .]
There is patently no legitimate overriding purpose independent of invidious racial discrimination which justifies this classification.

 
 

Frakk me. At the same time as they’re calling for a no-fly zone over Libya, the Saudis and their Gulf allies are sending troops to Bahrain to help shore up the regime against street protesters.

The fact that guys like this need to rely on outside troops to survive speaks volumes for how illegitimate and unpopular they’ve become.

 
 

Read. Have your head explode.

 
 

“I think that knowledge, facts, and information should be on the table, and let students decide what their beliefs should be.”
-Michelle Bachmann

For wingnuts that means taking all the facts and information that are on the table and deciding that your beliefs are completely unrelated to any of it.

 
 

“I think that knowledge, facts, and information should be on the table, and let students decide what their beliefs should be.”
-Michelle Bachmann

Sounds like a good argument in favor of church/state separation. Oh wait…

 
 

Read. Have your head explode.

KAAAAABOOOOOOOOOM!!!111!!1

 
 

Hahahahahahahahaha.

My evil co-worker just asked another co-worker if her daughter’s family was affected by the “tsunami.” (Nothing about the actual earthquake, mind you).

My co-worker’s daughter is Korean.

This is a person who assists our dean for diversity. At least east Asians aren’t an “underrepresented minority,” I guess….

 
 

Read. Have your head explode.

My head mustve sploded…’cuz I have no words.

 
 

My co-worker’s daughter is Korean.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh…. shit.

That’s a good way to start the week.

 
 

Yeah, Imma pretend I didn’t read that.

Although I already knew about the case of the woman with the two toddlers.

All your incubation chambers are belong to us!

 
 

Yeah, Imma pretend I didn’t read that.

Could you please unread it for me? It’s a little early in the morn for me…

 
 

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh…. shit.

My co-worker is a very sweet woman who grew up in a Mennonite community, so she patiently explained the geography.

Then stupid co-worker said, “Well, they probably know some people who were affected by it, right?”

Other co-worker patiently explained that Korea and Japan don’t have a great history together, so no, they don’t know any Japanese people.

 
 

And then stupid co-worker asked if I thought she looked like she gained weight.

I lied and said she didn’t. WHY AM I SO NICE???

 
 

Question: if the woman was trying to induce a miscarriage, why would she go to the hospital to get the fetus checked out?

I guess expecting logical consistency from forced-birthers is like expecting them to know the difference between Japan and Korea.

 
 

Fine. I didn’t want to talk to you people anyway.

 
 

I guess expecting logical consistency from forced-birthers is like expecting them to know the difference between Japan and Korea.

I don’t mind per se that they don’t know things that are that basic, because there are plenty of things at which I (all of us really) am that ignorant and probably shouldn’t be.

I do mind that despite being that ignorant, they still think they’re qualified to tell people what to think about the Iraq war, the START treaty, and all that sort of thing. Which is how I end up with wingnuts trying to explain to me that the EU countries I’ve actually lived in were really Soviet wastelands with people dying off in the streets and hospitals running Stephen Hawking killing death panels. As you would say, SHUT UP AND LISTEN.

 
 

Fine. I didn’t want to talk to you people anyway.

That’s what you get for savagely murdering an innocent thread.

 
 

I do mind that despite being that ignorant, they still think they’re qualified to tell people what to think about the Iraq war, the START treaty, and all that sort of thing.

Exactly. And it’s not just that they’re ignorant; it’s that they’re aggressively ignorant.

Oh, and also, co-worker said that the reason why her heater kicked on last night was because it started snowing. I thought it best not to argue.

 
President Jed Bartlett
 

Oh, and also, co-worker said that the reason why her heater kicked on last night was because it started snowing. I thought it best not to argue.

Toby, tell me: these people don’t vote, do they?

 
 

Apparently, Roger Ailes told Sarah Palin to shut the fuck up right after the Giffords shooting. He was summarily ignored. Now he haz a sad.

 
 

Palin was eager to respond and called Ailes for advice. Ailes suggested she “lie low” and that there was “no need to inject [herself] into the story.”

Telling Parah Salin not to inject herself into a story is kinda like telling Charlie Brown not to kick the football.

 
 

“I think that knowledge, facts, and information should be on the table, and let students decide what their beliefs should be.”
-Michelle Bachmann

GAH! Science is not a menu off of which you can pick and choose items to take on as beliefs. As recent events show, we ignore nature at our own peril.

 
 

So Cokie Roberts on NPR is telling us how hard-hit she is by the Mid-East crisis and the rising cost of gas – no more free shipping for her mail-order shopping.

 
 

A holland of dykes.

Ah yes, the story of Greta Brinker, the Little Dutch Girl who famously stuck her finger in the dyke.

 
 

After I submitted that I realized it would have been better as Little Butch Girl.

 
 

All your incubation chambers are belong to us!

Sounds cozy but overly warm.

 
 

The law, in its infinite wisdom, forbids equally both the millionaire and the indigent from sleeping under bridges.

 
 

The law, in its infinite wisdom, forbids equally both the millionaire and the indigent from sleeping under bridges.

But it’s far less likely to arrest, taze or shoot the millionaire.

 
 

But it’s far less likely to arrest, taze or shoot the millionaire.

 
 

Help! Help! I’m being repressed, now we see the Word Press inherent in the system.

 
 

I am the system!

 
 

Erm, I read at eh Last Psyche that every dictator around the world has a very keen interest in how Libya sorts herself out, if at all

Economist, via TLP

In Tunisia Zine el-Abidine Ben Ali met peaceful crowds with concessions. In Egypt Hosni Mubarak tried to ride out the protests by mixing concessions with force. In Bahrain King Hamad bin Isa al-Khalifa resorted to violence, but did not have the stomach for the fight. In Libya Mr Qaddafi seems to crave blood. Screaming ghastly defiance in an hour-long tirade on February 22nd, he vowed to “cleanse Libya house by house”. If he prevails, dictators the world over will know which course to follow.

 
 

The law, in its infinite wisdom, forbids equally both the millionaire and the indigent from sleeping under bridges having elements of their stock portfolio moved into a shadow account under someone else’s name without their knowledge & consent.

[ ritzed it up 4 you! ]

My co-worker is a very sweet woman who grew up in a Mennonite community

My family got sweet-cheap goods from Hutterites all the time growing up. Hutterites are PURE HARDCORE in human form.

 
 

“cleanse Libya house by house”

My money’s on no western nation helping these “rebels” out. Rwanda wasn’t a bug of our foreign policy, it was a feature.

 
 

The law, in its infinite wisdom

Know WHO ELSE quotes snooty Frenchmen?

 
 

Telling Parah Salin not to inject herself into a story is kinda like telling Charlie Brown not to kick the football ^a crack addict not to smoke that rock.

Fxd.

Charlie Brown tries to kick the football because he is trusting and wants to experience nothing more than the satisfaction of kicking the football. We feel sorry for him when he lands on his back. Palin sticks her fugly mug into every event because she’s an egotistical attention whore. We dance with glee when she does another face plant in a moose pie.

 
 

Charlie Brown tries to kick the football because he is…

But I did not compare the act of CB kicking the football to the act of SP iserting hersel into a story, I compared the act of telling CB not to to the act of telling SP not to and they are both equally futile. I stand by my original statement and I’m just being argumentive cause I’m bored.

 
 

Charlie Brown kicks the football because he is predestined to and, failing to have been predestined elect, he misses.

 
 

So Cokie Roberts on NPR is telling us how hard-hit she is by the Mid-East crisis and the rising cost of gas – no more free shipping for her mail-order shopping.

Oh, that’s good. I was beginning to forget why I have such an intense loathing for Cokie Roberts.She’s one of those vile, forgettable people.

 
 

Is there any truth to the rumor that Larry Kudlow will be playing the Slim Pickens role in a remake of Blazing Saddles?

 
 

failing to have been predestined elect, he misses.

Would you rather:

Fail to be predestined elect
Be elected to predestined fail, or
Predestine a failed election

You have 30 seconds to choose or no choice whatsoever, depending on what happened at the Belief Buffet.

 
 

Marriage would temper their urges and channel their desires into something beneficial for both them and society at large.

I know how it benefits me, and I would like to think that it benefits my wife, but how does me having happy-happy-fun-time with my wife benefit society at large? Or at least how does it benefit society at large any more than two gay guys going at it?

He he … I said “society at large” …

Anyway if teh straight sechs really is so beneficial to society at large, I could have used that knowledge back in my single days: “hey there hawt babe … do you wanna do something that will benefit our whole society?”

 
 

It’s after 1:00 PM local time. All season long that has been the start time for the hockey games in Sweden. But today I check and the game has not started. Then I realize… Those idiots in Sweden forgot to turn their clocks ahead. Hard to believe an entire country could just forget like that.

 
 

My money’s on no western nation helping these “rebels” out. Rwanda wasn’t a bug of our foreign policy, it was a feature.

Yeah, THAT.

A cabal of genocidal nuns who mysteriously had epic juice in places like London & DC, because despite the quick & massive public call for NATO/UN intervention, that particular murder-orgy went on for a LONG time before it burned itself out.

Also, it is perhaps educational to note that Sudan (Geopolitical Hide-&-Go-Seek World Champion since 2006!) retains the power-level of its Eldritch Cloak Of Ignoring as solid as ever, despite scoring the International Criminal Court’s first-ever* indictment of a sitting head of state … & despite Southern Sudan being set to become a new nation this summer.
_______________
* Rumors of Sudan yelling “NUMBER ONE! OH YEAH! SUCK IT, SYRIA!” remain unconfirmed.

 
 

Follow up from the last thread — thanks VS … I am amazed by the level of service one gets from the folks at this site. No … I don’t mean that. I just mean pictures of ponytails. And no … that’s not code for anything. Read the last thread!

 
 

I DID read the last thread, and, sadly, it has come to this: Someone here needs to remind T&U and VS to wash their hair every so often.

 
 

DAS, I offer hair-trigger fast service. Pun intended!

I still think maybe some of our single dudes here should take that “beneficial to society at large” line out for a test drive.

 
 

“Is there any truth to the rumor that Larry Kudlow will be playing the Slim Pickens role in a remake of Blazing Saddles?”

This made me laugh for some reason.
And I DO wash my hair…AT LEAST twice a year.

 
 

A homosexual man has an identical right to take a woman in holy matrimony as may any other man.

A sea captain, a judge or a guy dressed as Elvis can perform a marriage; how “holy” it that?

Until these guys have the guts to ban all marriage not perform by a religious figure and make divorce a punishable offense, I don’t want to hear any talk from them about what’s “holy” or “sacred.”

 
 

Someone here needs to remind T&U and VS to wash their hair every so often.

I washed mine yesterday, TYVM.

 
 

I second (or would that be third considering it was made in response to another comment) Jim’s point at 18:37, Sadly, No! Daylight Savings time. At the risk of starting a huge argument about the mid-east and such things, the international community has a very spotty record in regards to such things as genocides, refugee crises and the like. For instance, while it keeps passing resolution after resolution against Israel for issues related to a refugee crisis that stems from the creation of Israel (which creation was UN sanctioned in the first place, although the UN decided to ignore the Arab occupation of the supposedly international territory of Jerusalem and the resulting displacement of the thousands of years old Jewish presence therein), does the UN even pay attention to the plight of Bihari refugees in Bangladesh? — http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stranded_Pakistanis#Refugee_crisis

I am not even sure if standard lefty critiques attributing these sorts of blind spots to greed, malice or imperialism even apply …

 
 

It doesn’t matter how many moral lines are breached, the homosexual activists will keep agitating because it’s not persecution they resist, but internal loathing projected outward. Social mores are merely a scapegoat. Tradition and virtue represent punching bags on which to relieve their rage. In truth, the Left wants not for gays to marry so much as to abolish the very concept of marriage.

Breath Dude. Nobody needs to know about “the incident” in high school. Just keep cinching the denial belt tighter and tighter till those kind of thoughts are banishedbyJesusfromyourheteroonlypuremind!

Whew!

 
 

DAS, if you don’t want to start a huge argument, don’t use inflammatory language.

 
 

Hmmmmm……

nope! Staying out of this one!

 
 

T&U broke the comments.

 
 

In truth, the Left wants not for gays to marry so much as to abolish the very concept of marriage.

Close, but we are actually trying to abolish the bridesmaid dress. It doesn’t really work for a gay wedding, does it? Which partner will have all men and which all women? And then there are gender identity issues to consider. What fun is optional pastel chiffon? If you can’t enforce it, there is really no point.

The whole scheme was laid out in chilling detail in the Protocols of the Fag Hags of Byron, way back in the gay nineties.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Someone here needs to remind T&U and VS to wash their hair every so often.

And to vote!

I washed mine yesterday, TYVM.

But did you vote? Huh? I bet you did not!

 
 

nope! Staying out of this one!

Come on…

Incidentally, has anyone mentioned that the Bible is bullshit today? Apparently it’s based on a whole bunch of older Jewish books that are also untrue!

 
 

OT: In a shocking* development, it turns out O’Keefe edited the NPR video in a dishonest manner to make NPR look bad.

*by which I mean, not shocking at all.

 
 

A homosexual man has an identical right to take a woman in holy matrimony as may any other man.

Sooo, a homosexual woman has an identical right to take any man in holy matrimony?

 
 

Incidentally, has anyone mentioned that the Bible is bullshit today? Apparently it’s based on a whole bunch of older Jewish books that are also untrue!

The source of the foreskin you-know-what.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Social mores are merely a scapegoat.

There they go again. Every time marriage comes up they start talking about goats. What does that mean?

 
 

I still think maybe some of our single dudes here should take that “beneficial to society at large” line out for a test drive.

I think to increase the chances of it actaully working I will save that line. Perhaps someday I will run accross an attractive young lady that has been brought up and brainwashed in a Christian Taliban environment. Then I will act like her sterotype of a gay man, then I will use the “beneficial to society” line and tell her she’s the only one who can save from an eternity in hell.

 
 

Come on…

Nope! I’m smarter than that!

But did you vote? Huh? I bet you did not!

I voted in some sort of online poll….

 
 

Every time marriage comes up they start talking about goats. What does that mean?

They miss their nanny?

 
 

Then I will act like her sterotype of a gay man, then I will use the “beneficial to society” line and tell her she’s the only one who can save from an eternity in hell.

“If I tried it I would get “Then I will will pray extra hard for you”.

 
 

Thread Bear, the way I see it is if you use that line in a flirty/funny context, you may just get a laugh. And a laugh is always a good place to start, ya know?

 
 

Also too, if referring to Sheer Genius – well, yes, it certainly does have an appealing ring to it, I admit … but what if my (ahem, harumph) personal predilections are such that I just don’t PREFER to see the Genius Nipple straight through like that, I mean right off the bat & all? Just the outline of its prominance is plenty good enough for some of us even these days, you know.

As well plus, by my arsy-turvy schedule Monday is my “Friday” so RAWK OUT.

 
 

Every time marriage comes up they start talking about goats. What does that mean?

It’s a cover for later on if they slip up and call out “Billy!” during orgasm.

 
 

Jim, I like that. I saw them play in Raleigh with Danzig.

 
 

Speaking from personal experience, the “I think I might be gay” line does sometimes work on naive Christian women, at least those who may have been looking for an excuse anyway.

“I think I might be a lesbian” seems to be less successful with young Christian men. I’m not sure if this is homophobia or simply horror that a woman is verbally asserting her sexual needs.

 
 

pedestrian, I can’t imagine why that “I think I might be a lesbian” line doesn’t work for you………….

 
 

I saw them play in Raleigh with Danzig

Stompin’ Tom Conners had Danzig opening for him?

THE MORE YOU KNOW.

 
 

pedestrian, I can’t imagine why that “I think I might be a lesbian” line doesn’t work for you………….

I once bore a striking resemblance to Justin Bieber.

 
 

pedestrian, I can’t imagine why that “I think I might be a lesbian” line doesn’t work for you………….

Well, I sometimes think I might be a lesbian trapped in a man’s body.

 
 

I’m not sure if this is homophobia or simply horror that a woman is verbally asserting her sexual needs.

The scary vagina thing. Since this type thinks because they have a quick draw, that makes them superior because the bibble tells them so. Along comes a woman who’s not interested in their Holy Schwang and they’re not sure what to do. Fear breeds anger, so it’s sceery wommins fault. This clown sure doesn’t have much to say about what women would think about marring a gay man.

 
 

“Stompin’ Tom Conners had Danzig opening for him?

THE MORE YOU KNOW.”

Honestly…it was the mid-nineties. I don’t remember who was opening for whom. Actually, a horrible group called The Genitorturers was first on stage. They sucked balls…and not in the good way.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

” they have a quick draw”

VPER

 
 

Help the elderly, Emperor P.

VPER?

 
 

Breath Dude. Nobody needs to know about “the incident” in high school. Just keep cinching the denial belt tighter and tighter till those kind of thoughts are banishedbyJesusfromyourheteroonlypuremind!

Yeah, purge those homerotic thoughts from you head by thinking of Jesus! Think of Jesus, with his long, lustrous locks of hair blowing in the Mediterranean breeze… his long, hard carpenter’s muscles rippling under his robe… Think of him, all hung*, his sad, wise eyes filled with love for you, his unworthy servant.

DAMMIT, THINK OF JESUS, BILL!!!

*VCrucifixionR

 
 

Damn, I killed it again.

 
 

Damn, I killed it again.

Nah. Old threads never die, they just get a little bare.

 
 

Geez, Gooper sure seem interested in what goes on in other peoples underpants. Is is voyeurism or envy?

 
 

“I think that knowledge, facts, and information should be on the table, and let students decide what their beliefs should be, and I believe the ‘Shot Heard ‘Round the World’ was fired in New Hampshire.”
-Michelle Bachmann

Fizzixed for “Palin with a Brain” LULZORZ.

 
 

Fizzixed for “Palin with a Brain” LULZORZ.

Perhaps there’s room for a joke about Bachmann’s brain here, something about how it would Palin comparison.

 
Jesus H. Christ
 

Groupies. I haz ’em.

 
 

In a shocking* development, it turns out O’Keefe edited the NPR video in a dishonest manner to make NPR look bad.

Yeah, no duh. When do you suppose people will learn, any videotape that comes from O’Keefe should immediately be disqualified. I wouldn’t believe him if he presented footage of cute kitty-cats.

 
 

Groupies. I haz ‘em.
Sects, Wine and Gospel & Soul!! Party on Dude of Dudes.

 
 

Math question:

If Palin and Bachmann appeared together, how many boobs would there be?

 
 

Yeah, no duh. When do you suppose people will learn, any videotape that comes from O’Keefe should immediately be disqualified. I wouldn’t believe him if he presented footage of cute kitty-cats.

The Humane Society participates in the trafficking of underage kittens!11!!111!!!

 
 

I wouldn’t believe him if he presented footage of cute kitty-cats.

Those suckers gots claws

 
 

If Palin and Bachmann appeared together, how many boobs would there be?

How big’s the venue?

 
 

If Palin and Bachmann appeared together, how many boobs would there be?

Um, all of them.

 
 

Bonus question:

How many boobs would there be if Gingrich joined them?

 
 

How big’s the venue?

Tea hee hee!

 
 

T&U:

Is there actually a Humane Society in Missouri? It seems to be about as effective as the Democratic Party in Texas.

 
 

I wouldn’t believe him if he presented footage of cute kitty-cats.

Tee hee!!!

 
 

Shorter some guy at NRO:

The US shouldn’t have high-speed rail because the Japanese earthquake might have damaged trains.

 
 

Yeah, purge those homerotic thoughts from you head by thinking of Jesus! Think of Jesus, with his long, lustrous locks of hair blowing in the Mediterranean breeze… his long, hard carpenter’s muscles rippling under his robe… Think of him, all hung*, his sad, wise eyes filled with love for you, his unworthy servant.

BTW, this made me giggle. Now, I’m hot for Jesus. Damn you, B^4.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Sorry snort, I was reheating the fabulous spareribs left over from Saturday when I made the most fabulous spareribs the world has ever seen. They were fab. And the Mac salad just keeps getting better.

Veiled Premature Ejaculation Reference.

 
 

Is there actually a Humane Society in Missouri? It seems to be about as effective as the Democratic Party in Texas.

There is. And the voters passed an anti-puppy mill law. That the legislature is overturning.

 
 

The US shouldn’t have high-speed rail because the Japanese earthquake might have damaged trains.

Suburbs and cars, on the other hand, are distributed systems, with inherently redundant roads and vehicles that are more resistant to natural disaster.

And all those people in cars were saved, SAVED, by their personal transportation machines as they were crushed in the oncoming wave or swept out to sea. Trains are death traps.

 
 

The US shouldn’t have high-speed rail because the Japanese earthquake might have damaged trains.
It is currently feared that one bullet train was caught in the tsunami. His argument seems to be that if those people had been driving their cars like real murikans do then they would have been safe. I’m thinking that if they’d been driving cars in the path of a tsunami they be in just as bad shape, but that’s probably only because I studied physics.

 
 

that’s probably only because I studied physics.

Then you understand that when a wave hits a bullet train traveling at 150mph the train shoots off its tracks at the same force and forward thrust and turns into a literal bullet.

 
 

new thread!

 
 

And the Mac salad just keeps getting better.
Veiled Premature Ejaculation Reference.

I am bringing my own salad dressing to the picnic.

 
 

Then you understand that when a wave hits a bullet train traveling at 150mph the train shoots off its tracks at the same force and forward thrust and turns into a literal bullet.

Perhaps, but the bullet trains in Japan have a safety feature that from all reports worked to secs. (Damn meddling government beuraucracy) There are sensors start the braking process in advance of an earthquake. Part of numbnuts argument is that if the brakes had not been applied then the train may have been able to outrun the water. Of course he neglects to consider track condition after an earthquake.

 
 

Worked to specs. What is this proofreading that you speak of.

 
 

I am bringing my own salad dressing to the picnic.

Hide the watermelons!

 
 

There is. And the voters passed an anti-puppy mill law. That the legislature is overturning.

But I thought “elections have consequences.”???

 
 

The whole scheme was laid out in chilling detail in the Protocols of the Fag Hags of Byron, way back in the gay nineties.

LOVE!

The US shouldn’t have high-speed rail because the Japanese earthquake might have damaged trains.

Are these the same people arguing how this proves we should have nuclear because yay so far no meltdown?

 
 

Hiya. Everyone is spared from my observations on Libya. Some things have come up that need my attention.

Rebels claim they have recaptured Brega, btw. Nevertheless, reports of fighting at Ran Lanuf, Brega, and Ajdabiya(!) suggest 125 miles of the Gulf of Sirte is still contested by both sides, with the situation is flux.

Have fun all!

*steps back into the shadow*

 
 

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