Feh!

It’s too bad Glenn Reynolds is on vacation. I’d really love to hear him spin this:

The head of U.S. Central Command, Gen. John Abizaid, acknowledged Thursday that Iraq could descend into civil war.

“I believe that the sectarian violence is probably as bad as I’ve seen it, in Baghdad in particular. And that if not stopped, it is possible that Iraq could move toward civil war,” he testified before the Senate Armed Services Committee.

“Failure to apply coordinated regional and international pressure … will further extremism” and could lead to a widening and more perilous conflict, he said.

And if that’s not enough for you, here’s a sample of this week’s Iraq headlines from the far-left FOX News website:

Shiite Iraqis to Rally in Support of Hezbollah

Blasts at Baghdad Soccer Fields Leave 14 Dead

Army Restricts Media Access to Iraqi Witnesses in GI Murder-Rape Trial

Shiites Kill More Than 41 in Sunni Ambush

Iraqi Intelligence Officer Gunned Down

Miltant Leader Captured in Iraq; 17 Killed in Mosque Blasts

Report: Japan Begins Withdrawing Troops From Iraq

Car Bomb Near Iraqi Shiite Shrine Kills 12

As the Ole Perfesser said a mere two months ago, “That must mean that we’re winning.”

 

Comments: 47

 
 
 

It can’t be a Civil War as there are no Confederates and Unionists

QUESTION: And the question, Mr. Secretary, after your most recent visit and this spike in violence, do you believe that Iraq is closer than ever to the brink of civil war?

clip

RUMSFELD: It certainly isn’t like our Civil War. It isn’t like the civil war in a number of other countries.

Definitely not a civil war!

 
 

Can some one explain to me in what sense there hasn’t been a civil war on in Iraq for at least a year now? I’m just not getting why this is news. Maybe the decider has to decide that it’s a war before it becomes one?

 
 

Sooooo……. anyone here ever see a really big thread before? Just asking….
C1K!!!!!

 
 

If we keep winning like this, pretty soon we’ll be fighting the last victory in Bumfuck, Kansas.

 
 

I’m just appalled by how anti-troop 4-star U.S. General John Abizaid is. If you recognize objective realities as being contrary to the enchanted Lisa Frank dreams of your employers, you’re just giving aid and comfort to the enemy. Fortunately, Rumsfeld swooped in and pulled the mess of out tailspin by redefining the nature of a civil war, much as he did with torture. If you change the criteria by which an action is considered torture, torture no longer exists. Same with civil war. If the combatants aren’t wearing blue and gray and whistling Battle Hymn of the Republic or Dixie, then a civil war it is not. Sure, sectarian violence. Maybe even civil strife. But a full-blown civil war? Nay, good sir. Nay. Now, don’t you all feel a lot better now that we live in a world without torture and civil war in Iraq?

 
 

I’m just appalled by how anti-troop 4-star U.S. General John Abizaid is. If you recognize objective realities as being contrary to the enchanted Lisa Frank dreams of your employers, you’re just giving aid and comfort to the enemy. Fortunately, Rumsfeld swooped in and pulled the mess of out tailspin by redefining the nature of a civil war, much as he did with torture. If you change the criteria by which an action is considered torture, torture no longer exists. Same with civil war. If the combatants aren’t wearing blue and gray and whistling Battle Hymn of the Republic or Dixie, then a civil war it is not. Sure, sectarian violence. Maybe even civil strife. But a full-blown civil war? Nay, good sir. Nay. Now, don’t you all feel a lot better now that we live in a world without torture and civil war in Iraq? Now, time to slip into the sweet sleep of complacency. Ahhh…

 
 

And that if not stopped, it is possible that Iraq could move toward civil war,

I have two questions. Let me ask them in order.

First, how are you going to stop sectarian violence? You gonna use your vaunted “troops”? How will you use them? Will you shoot people in “Sects”? Will you kill all the sunnis, leaving the Shi’a death squads with nothing to do? Will you use your air power, artillery and armor against death squads? I’d like somebody to tell me what the hell our guys are supposed to be doing other than stopping rounds otherwise intended for other Iraqis.

Second. How can Iraq “Move toward civil war”? I mean, with 6000 dead in 60 days, bodies found every day, morgues full, no place safe, what exactly would you call it? Oh, I know, in Washington this is refered to as a “functional democracy”, but lots of civil wars have been acknowledged as such while racking up a much lower casualty count. Of course, seriously, we know why they can’t say the “CW” word. They keep saying we MUST keep our troops in Iraq to prevent a civil war. If there WAS a civil war, what possible justification for their continued presence would remain?

mikey

 
 

Yeah, that wasn’t intended. I zigged when I should’ve zagged, ie. submitted instead of previewing. The hell with reviewing this. The hell.

 
 

Iraq is in a civil war, but that doesn’t mean that we should cut and run from Iraq.

Iraq’s civil war is between the forces of freedom in the Iraqi government and the forces of terror in the Iraqi Terrorist Movement.

As an ally of the Iraqi government, it’s our responsibility to help them defeat the forces which wish to overthrow the Iraqi government.

Right now, we’re in a world war against the forces of Islamic expansionism.

The forces of Islamic expansionism are working to overthrow the Iraqi government and the Afghan government. The forces of Islamic expansionism are working in Gaza and Southern Lebanon against Israel.

The forces of Islamic expansionism have a mission of instituting a worldwide Taliban government.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Taliban (and a lot of you appear to be unfamiliar because you compare Christians to the Taliban).. here’s what the Taliban did while in power in Afghanistan:

They banned the reading of particular books, they banned keeping cameras without licence, they banned moves, television, and VCRs, they banned the internet, they banned music, they banned promotion of non-Muslim ideas, they banned women from being in public without being in a burkah, and they banned women from working outside the home.

As well, the Taliban banned kite-flying, beard shaving, and forecasting the weather.

There is a worldwide war against the forces which want a Worldwide Taliban.

I know what side I’m on, but those who refuse to get on America’s side in this war, are effectively on the side of the enemy.

 
 

How come nobody here is calling for an immediate cease-fire between Sunnis and Shiites?

 
 

How come nobody here is calling for an immediate cease-fire between Sunnis and Shiites?

Because it would divert their focus from calling for the Israelis to stop defending themselves.

Can somebody on the left explain how a unilateral ceasefire works? Because it doesn’t look like Hizb’allah wants to quit.

 
 

Really, is Gary Ruppert a parody troll or the real thing? I’ve been coming here for a long time, and I’ve seen people respond as if he’s the real thing, but I just can’t tell.

 
Tak, the Hideous New Girl
 

There is a worldwide war against the forces which want a Worldwide Taliban.

What? Who declared war on the Southern Baptist Convention?

 
 

Gary and Jose see each other across the windswept plain. Each clutches his chest, his breathing labored, as he recognizes a kindred soul in the other’s well-formed body. Slowly, they begin to move toward one another, their pace quickening with each step until at long last they are lunging into each other’s supple arms.

Get a room, boys. And always remember, safety first.

 
 

Iraq’s civil war is between the forces of freedom in the Iraqi government and the forces of terror in the Iraqi Terrorist Movement.

Hey Gary? Did you know that the “Forces of Freedom in the Iraqi Government” are Shiites, allied with Iran and quite vocal in their support for Hezbollah? Are you familiar with SCIRI? DAWA? The Badr brigades? The Mehdi Army? ‘Cause these are the folks you’re refering to. And to call them somehow the forces of freedom and our allies? Pretty strange.

The forces of Islamic expansionism have a mission of instituting a worldwide Taliban government.

Other than Rush, LGF and Rove, where did you hear this? ‘Cause I can’t even identify a leadership structure for “The forces of Islamic Expansionism ™”, let alone a unified goal or message. I think this, once again, is the nightmare fear-dreams of right-wing christians who are terrified of Muslims and want to kill millions of them, bringing christian dominance with them. Kind of a Crusade of Fear…

mikey

 
 

enchanted Lisa Frank dreams

If i dreamed in rainbows of hot pink with iridescent unicorns, I’d probably be throwing bombs around, too, just to make… the…… voices……… stop….!!1!!

Ugliest School Supplies Evar!!1!

 
 

Of course there is no civil war here. To admit that there is would be to admit that the entire Iraq adventure is an unmitigated disaster. That things are worse for the average Iraqi then they were under a brutal thug like Sadam.

Bush Co. lied to get us in a unecessary war letting Osama escape and now are too stupid and/or stubborn to admit they have lost.

 
 

Gary is a mecha-troll.

He’s real, but has wires and tubes and gears and fruitbats in place of things like a heart and brains…

 
 

…(The Taliban) banned the reading of particular books, they banned keeping cameras without licence, they banned moves, television, and VCRs, they banned the internet, they banned music, they banned promotion of non-Muslim ideas, they banned women from being in public without being in a burkah, and they banned women from working outside the home.

All of which have been promoted by certain Christian sects (if you interpret the burka thing as ‘dressing modestly’). except maybe the camera thing.

And Weather forecasting! Pure Witchery!

 
 

As well, the Taliban banned kite-flying, beard shaving, and forecasting the weather.

Thank god nothing like that could ever happen here.

 
 

Glenn would say we’ll be out of there in 2, mabe 3 Friedmans tops!

 
 

The various anti-coalition forces in Afghanistan and Iraq should thank their lucky stars that Glenn Reynolds has not arrived to cock-slap them. This would extremely insult the Muslim males (so we learned from the special cultural interrogation section of Abu Ghraib), should they survive the impact of Reynold’s massive phallus.

Apply directly to the forehead.

 
 

El Cid-

Obviously you are a satisfied customer of Head-On!

Lovely ad. One question: What does it do? I mean, other than make your forehead sticky?

 
 

Gary Ruppert – you should look forward to the Taliban ruling the US. They insist on men shaving their pubic hair which means that you might see your cock for the first time.

 
 

“It’s too bad Glenn Reynolds is on vacation. I’d really love to hear him spin this:”

[some blog] has questions for John Abizaid.

UPDATE: [some other blog] is unimpressed.

 
 

[The Taliban] banned the reading of particular books, they banned keeping cameras without licence, they banned moves, television, and VCRs, they banned the internet, they banned music, they banned promotion of non-Muslim ideas, they banned women from being in public without being in a burkah, and they banned women from working outside the home.

Gotta gotta cut loose! Footloose! Kick off your Sunday shoes!

 
 

All we really know is that the next six months will be crucial.

 
 

COCKSLAP!
Apply directly to the forehead!

COCKSLAP!
Apply directly to the forehead!

COCKSLAP!
Apply directly to the forehead!

 
 

You asked for Glenn Reynolds’ commentary and suddenly Gary Ruppert appears to offer his. Hmmm…. observe this:

Glenn Reynolds = G.R.
Gary Ruppert = G.R.

Now remove the r’s from Gary’s “name” and you get “Gay uppet.” Add a P for insta- “P”undit and you get “Gay Puppet.”

We’re through the looking glass here, people.

The fact is, Gary Ruppert must be a sockpuppet for Glenn Reynolds!

I call illegal sockpuppetry on the 50 yard line! d00d u r so outed! Bwahahaha!

 
 

Maybe we had it all wrong. Maybe when we’re told that troop drawdowns out of Iraq will begin in nine months to a year, the Bush Administration is using some measure of time outside our own planet. For example, one orbit of Jupiter is equivalent to about 11.86 years on Earth, which actually seems like a fair assessment of the situation, once you figure out what system they’re using and do the conversion. I’m sure it just slipped their minds to tell us that they’re using Crazy Jovian Standard Time (CJST) to determine unit deployments.

 
 

Jose Chung: How come nobody here is calling for an immediate cease-fire between Sunnis and Shiites?

Um, cuz, you know, they’re brown, and stuff. And they pray to the wrong God. Let’s give the lord Jay-zus some time to sort ’em out now, while there’s a quiet spell before Teh Rapture.

[/Southern Baptist]

 
Herr Doktor Bimler
 

Jose Chung: How come nobody here is calling for an immediate cease-fire between Sunnis and Shiites?

Can’t speak for anyone else, but I am personally waiting for my confirmation to come through as the new Secretary-General of the United Nations. Then there will be a brief delay while I appoint a new staff of Secretary-Colonels, Secretary-Majors and so on… and then I will issue my call for an immediate cease-fire. Is that soon enough for you?

 
Herr Doktor Bimler
 

The tags, they burn

 
Notorious P.A.T.
 

“How come nobody here is calling for an immediate cease-fire between Sunnis and Shiites?”

Because there is no chance of that happening. One can call for cease-fire between Israel and Hezbollah because those are organized institutions. What we have in Iraq are groups of people chaotically shooting, kidnapping, and blowing up each other. Also, there would be no chance at all of America being able to enforce a cease-fire.

 
 

Dammit. Anyway, I’ll respond to this point:

“Because there is no chance of that happening. One can call for cease-fire between Israel and Hezbollah because those are organized institutions. What we have in Iraq are groups of people chaotically shooting, kidnapping, and blowing up each other. Also, there would be no chance at all of America being able to enforce a cease-fire.”

Yeah. Also, remember that Hezbollah operates outside of Israel’s borders. It’s a lot easier to establish conditions for a ceasefire when you have two entities operating from strictly defined borders- hence, it would be much easier to call for a ceasefire between Israel and Hezbollah than the Sunnis and Shiites, who all live in the same country.

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Y’know, I wanted to post something over in “You can’t be serious,” mostly because I have an irrational fear of italics tags that won’t go away. But it’s truly frightening over there. I mean at first it was just like one of those freeway pileups that look like nothing more serious than twisted metal but I think I saw some severed limbs and so I’m just going to . . . sit here . . . and be quiet for a while. OK?

 
 

Not to worry, Mortician. With my usual aplomb, I jumped in and it’s all fixed now. No, don’t thank me. It was a kindness to my fellow man…

mikey

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Who is this mysterious man who rides into town at dusk and quietly binds the wounds, dries the tears and settles the horses down to their playful whickering, accepting nothing in return, not even a cool dipper of water?

 
 

We don’t know, but we’ve noticed that when he rides on, theres a sudden shortage of fried foods, booze and x-rated videotapes. Coincidence? You be the judge…

 
 

I think this clearly shows that the insurgency is in its last throes

 
 

close?

 
 

Sorry – just thought I would see if I could close the tag.

 
 

Head-On is a mint-oil containing waxy ointment. All mint oils, when smeared on the skin, provide a cooling sensation. It actually does work, though only about as well as could be expected from a topical mint oil. Head-On also contains eucalyptus oil, which sort of does the same thing but not as well.

A number of mint-oil topicals are available for use on headaches, including a very nice one by Crabtree and Evelyn, and a cheap cream by Earth Therapeutics, and a little roll on vial called Migra-Aid, which will upset airport security, evidently because it “looks kinda like a test tube”.

Once again, fuck the commercials. If you suffer from untreated headache conditions, desperation does the selling. It need not be clever, as long as we can remember the name of the product, which, considering it’s headaches, is probably harder than you might think.

Okay? Lay off the Head-On. Slate is 2K3wl!!! which makes them assholes who are shooting fish in a barrel. Maybe they could go after the more clever Imitrex ads, which are apparently designed to reproduce the noise and light effects of a migraine well enough that even if you’re not looking directly at the TV, you grab for their useless, seven-dollars-a-pill product.

 
 

Gary, I’m so pleased you have the freedom to go fly a kite.

o

 
 

BLAARGH! BRAD R. CANNOT CLOSE ST00PID ITALICS TAG?! IT IS A MYSTERY!!1!

 
 

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