Dare We Call This Shorter A Snippet?
Posted on March 2nd, 2011 by Tintin
Shorter Don Jim Bob Surber, The Charlestun Daley Male
What Happened to Common Sense?
- The reason why we are losing the War on Drugs and the War on Terror is because San Francisco paid people to install low flow toilets and because a man there is circulating a petition to put a ban on male circumcision on the city’s November ballot.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
I didn’t trust the Shorter.
I don’t know why all his paragraphs are composed of only two sentences at most.
No, really. Explain this to me.
FORESKIN HOLOCAUST ISREAL!!!!
FROSH!!!
SMEGMA!
The first two sentences sum it up pretty well.
Privatize war. Why didn’t anyone think of that before? Oh wait, they did, it’s called fucking Somalia. Idiot.
Speaking of foreskins, keep yours soft, if you’re El Manquécito, with this.
That said, Don clearly doesn’t understand that upgrading home toilets and then the municipal sewer system is what some folks call “progress.” He, on the other hand, still craps in a bucket. PERISTALSIS ISREAL!!!
There is no freakin’ way I’m getting out of the boat for this! I’ll trust you all on this one.
Speaking of foreskins, keep yours soft, if you’re El Manquécito, with this.
He’s stuffing and mounting his foreskin? I guess we all need a hobby.
If a comment containing the word “WOLVERINES!!!” makes it past the moderators, I, for one, shall welcome my new fecal overlords.
I like the part where DonBob votes himself onto a one-man death panel.
[On fiqxsingh the deficit,] “My suggestion is to simply end health benefits for retirees now.”
But more seriously, “what happened to common sense?”, it went out of fashion after the Quitter tattooed it on every facetweet since April 2010.
The War on Vitriolic Rhetoric!
The War on Military Jargon!
The War on Beatty Thinks This Song Is About Him!
Oh fuck.
Any time someone bitches “Liberals are losing us the war on drugs!!!11leleventy!!1”, they should be bitchslapped with a fat wet hand. That has tattooed on it, “Just start jailing the bankers who launder their money, knucklehead!”
Bringing this over from the last thread:
VS said,
March 2, 2011 at 19:32
“Well, to be fair to the senatorial douchebag way upthread, the building has smelled vaguely of unwashed humans for quite a few days. Overlaid, mind you, with a soupcon of Ian’s Pizza, but not enough to knock it all the way down”
Oh, I’ve no doubt the place is ripe. It’s just that the fuckface used it as a dirty hippy jab. Nevermind that it would probably smell just as bad if it were overstuffed with plump white republican Christian women decked out in their finest Quacker Factory ensembles.”
If only the Tea Party could be put in charge of these wars.
War on poverty-shoot the poor.
War on drugs- non- white people are getting rich
War on terror- poor, non- white people are scary
Maybe there’s some sort of pattern here?
Then the city should do as the Romans did when they ran out of water and construct another aqueduct.
Why didn’t we think of this? Say… you know what we could do about peak oil? Build another oil rig!
The War on Tea is Void if Tag is Removed!
You know who else lost wars, right?
Meh. Those were pretty unripe mangoes. Donny’s just phoning it in these days.
The War on Peace by Leo Tolstoy!
War on Zevon needs moar Lawyers, Guns and Money!
The War on Commision should be easy to win, what with just that lone gunman to take care of.
The War on’s Your Mom’n.
Surber’s commenters really get off on discussing shit.
Surber’s commenters really get off on discussing shit.
They wouldn’t be posting there if they didn’t.
Well the Tea Party is already pretty busy fighting the War for Poverty, the War on Thugs and the War on Anything Based in Fact.
So how did the South lose the Civil War then? Were they just really fucking useless, because the other guys obviously gave them a massive headstart by letting the gubmint run their campaign.
What Happened to Common Sense?
Obviously Surber is a stranger to Common Sense, because Cee is always sending out newsy letters to keep friends up to date.
I am less worried about the Foreskin Holocaust than I am about the Foreskin Operation Barbarossa. I, however, anxiously await Foreskin Operation Overlord.
What Happened to Common Sense?
<a href='http://www.constitution.org/civ/comsense.htm'Here it is!
Preview IS(not)REAL!!!
these wars are all run by the government
ROTFLMAO!
Surber made us spit up our premium Dom Perignon all over our bloodstained money!
What Happened to Common Sense?
People realized that it was the thing which led them to believe that the world was flat.
Old-time folk wisdom from Surber’s comments section:
…it was impossible to collect rents from the ghetto dwellers until the government came along with checks.
SAVING WATER IS FASCISM!
Coming soon: The War On America’s Failing Wars!
What solves complex problems better than anything else?
WAR!
When in doubt, Blow A Bunch Of Shit Up – it’s The American Way™.
Just don’t confuse common sense with common knowledge.
…it was impossible to
collect rents fromconnect electrical lines to theghettorural dwellers until the government came along with checks.Fixxored for great justice.
.…it was impossible to collect rents from the ghetto dwellers until the government came along with checks.
“the ghetto dwellers”? Holy shit.
What Happened to Common Sense?
He goes by Common now, and he still grabs the mic and spits a verse on occasion.
Another commenter refers to Obama as ‘the over-tanned man’.
I don’t know who this Surber guy is but he sure looks smart.
“.…it was impossible to collect rents from the ghetto dwellers until the government came along with checks.”
A step beyond dog-whistle; dog-megaphone.
That is because these wars are all run by the government
A non-governmental war on drugs would be a matter of issuing letters of marque and reprisal to individuals and corporate entities, to legitimise their violent acts of seizure.
I honestly can’t see how this would differ from the normal US police.
In the meantime, be sure to do your shopping at Foreskin Market Garden.
Another commenter refers to Obama as ‘the over-tanned man’.
Are we sure he’s not confusing him with Boehner?
Thanks Spengler, have a gorilla.
Not tanning the foreskin (! ?) but an Eastern Diamondback skin. If anybody is
abusing my foreskin it’s the nuns from No Mercy Hospital using it in their loathsome and diabolical rites back at the convent. That would explain a lot actually.I always thought Force Kin was the move Darth used on Luke over Cloud City.
Illegal use of Christian penis!
http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2011/02/man_booked_with_masturbating_a.html
I always thought Force Kin was the move Darth used on Luke over Cloud City.
HAWT.
We should have a war on bad war metaphors but the gubmint would prolly fuck that up to.
You’re the real racist for being offended by that. T&U IS A RACIST!!!! YOU LEARNED IT HERE FIRST!!
OT: Larkspur, if you’re reading this, you’ve been inducted into the Terrible Person Hall of Fame.
Illegal use of Christian penis!
Why is the government intruding on a good Christian man’s right to enjoy himself? Another victim of the Inqueersition!
Foreskin Holocaust: There’s no business like Shoah brisness.
*ducks behind pillow fort*
Privatize war. Why didn’t anyone think of that before? Oh wait, they did, it’s called fucking
SomaliaIraq. Idiot.Fiqst for obviousness.
This has probably been posted already, but Fox has disturbing new video evidence that the Wisconsin protesters are not only bussed in from out-of-state, they are not even in the state at all.
That’s just how wily we are. I’m in Wisconsin right now, as I type this, even though I’m in Virginia.
So they used file footage from some protest in California. Big woop. Union goonery is union goonery Isreal! Get your liberal facts off my lawn!
O/T: one of the great things in this world is the juncture of hip and torso in the female figure, seen when said figure is reclining upon the side, propped up on one elbow. I love that.
On topic:
I’ve been PUBLISHED!!!11! One regrets now having omitted a pun that used the phrase ‘under the cloaca darkness.’ It seemed like too much at the time.
Foreskins and seven beers ago our father who is Art in heaven brought forth* upon the incontinent a blue nation, relieved by liberty and dedicated to the preposition “that” and also PENIS.
*VER
one of the great things in this world is the juncture of hip and torso in the female figure, seen when said figure is reclining upon the side, propped up on one elbow*.
*VPR
Shorter Ross Douthat:
“Union demonstrations are just like Tea Party Movement ones.
Tee hee!”
He’s mostly borrowing from a Will Wilkinson column. Mangoes are ripe and preposterous.
Also a hearty well-done to SD for being published!
I’m gonna set my liberal poop on fire and ring your doorbell, OLD MAN.
I am strangely affected by your pun, SD.
under the cloaca darkness
[golf claps] Splendid.
Care to share a couple? I have a burgeoning headache and am askeert to un-boat.
“I’m gonna set my liberal poop on fire and ring your doorbell, OLD MAN.”
The flaming shitmoat!
Union demonstrations are just like Tea Party Movement ones.
No way, the union protesters have better spelling and grammar.
Note to self: vacation in Madison next year.
Privatize war. Why didn’t anyone think of that before? Oh wait, they did, it’s called fucking Iraq. Idiot.
Well yes. With the US occupations of the Middle East involving more contractors and mercenaries than actual armed forces, at last the private sector has the chance to show how much more cheaply & efficiently it can win wars than the Gubblement.
Don Surber is fighting several wars right now — the War on Looking Like a Goddamn Big Toe, the War on, OK he’s only fighting the War on Looking Like a Goddamn Big Toe but he’s losing it.
That is because this war is being fought by Don Surber.
The Mexican narco-paramilitaries seem to have learned lots of lessons on how to win the war on drugs.
For example, they’ve learned that American gunshops are selfish, lazy bastards who are happy to sell 60 fucking AK-47’s to the same fucking guy over 4 months from the same store.
But, OMIGOD, when the ATF suggested a rule requiring gun shops to, you know, fill out a form noting when one person buys a shit-load of guns at once, they all bleated SEKIN AMENDINT RIGHTS and EVEN MORE BURDEN ON SMALL BISNESS.
Because think of how much time it would take up for a gun shop to write down when one person seems to need a bit more than an occasional hunting rifle or pistol for ‘self defense’.
Who among us hasn’t felt like we would be a little safer if only we had 60-odd AK-47’s on hand to protect ourselves from the occasional burglar?
We have no occupations anywhere in the Middle East or Southwest Asia.
We are simply maintaining forces there to preserve “fragile” democracies. And when necessary bomb the shit out of areas where dozens of civilians happened to be when we had urgent information of the presence of yet another “Al Qa’ida #3.”
Wilkinson:
Shorter: Liberals disagree with me, which only confirms that I was right all along.
Shorter Douthat: Me too. I kn haz paychex?
OMG, he admits it.
LOLthats?
Good one Abe.
And you’ve rekindled the Surberites’ fascinating POOP discussion.
One of the commenters brings up this critical issue:
Have you noticed the decreased width of toilet paper?
Have you noticed the decreased width of toilet paper?
Owie. I inhaled Diet Coke.
Ok, which one of you wrote this?
“Have you noticed the decreased width of toilet paper?”
Everything is relative. Which reminds me of another favorite Einstein quote, “You can’t solve problems using the same thought processes that created them.” [Probably munged but eat me -Ed.]
Or is it the increased width of… I dare not go on.
I’m gonna go mango shopping. Wanna me bring back some for yuse guys?
OMG, he admits it.
Yeah. What I love is that while he puts it up as an example of how liberals and conservatives both self-promote and villify the enemy, he completely fails to follow it up with examples of left-wing billionaires bankrolling the Wisconsin demonstrations. Which kind of makes his equivalence a false equivalence.
“I first noticed a few months back that a single roll looks ridiculously lonely on the now too-long rod”
It’s those newfangled overly commodious holders.
Too-long rods are sticking it to them in the end?
I didn’t even notice that one.
gocart–yes, please.
Nevermind that the conservatives often are genuinely villainous.
the now too-long rod
Sounds to me like someone is doing a lot of wishful thinking…
People are talking about flushing low-flow toilets 2 or 3 times. How big are these people’s shits? I had low-flow toilets in my last two apartments (not this one, because I live in a shithole that hasn’t been remodeled since it was built in 1972) and I never had a problem.
Then again, my craps are dainty and ladylike and smell like flowers.
Yayz! I finally beat Spengler to an ejaculation!
On another note, autocorrect suggested, for “yayz”, “gays.”. And in the previous sentence, “hays” was suggested. The odd thing is that I first typed “yays” for which autocorrect proffered the suggestion “Ysyd” which I won’t even try to look up.
For some reason this made me laugh. Plus, I tend to picture these people as big lumps of shit anyway.
You’d imagine really teensy as they fear the ass-banging so much.
Oh, it’s one of those interducts acronymmy things. Never heard of it. Before.
Lets play “Poe or not Poe”
“A standard Prius hybrid uses the braking action to recover energy and recharge its batteries. It does not have an external plug and is not powered by coal as the Volt is intended to be. It may still be silly, but the Volt is sillier yet.”
How big are these people’s shits?
I answer your question with a question: What is the largest black dildo currently on the market?
Allen West?
What is the largest black dildo currently on the market?
For actual use, or novelty?
Maybe its not the size of the shit but the adhesiveness of the shit. Their poop problems could come from eating lots of paste.
Or mantle decoration?
Er, I mean…why are you asking me???!
I expect Tintin chose that particular blackboard diagram for a reason.
Listen, I think we can all agree that an enormous black dildo is a handy thing to have on hand. But can we come to a consensus on what the best use is for this household staple?
Maybe its not the size of the shit but the adhesiveness of the shit. Their poop problems could come from eating lots of paste.
Good point.
Wingnuts do eat a lot of meat. Maybe they get all backed up a lot.
But can we come to a consensus on what the best use is for this household staple?
I don’t know about anyone else, but I use mine as a rolling pin.
“What is the largest black dildo currently on the market?”
‘Allen West?”
Your free internet is available at the Wilco desk at your convenience vacuumeslayer.
Depends both on the meaning of “dildo” and the meaning of “largest.” in the second case, one needs account for length and girth. People with whom I have discussed the subject (it was FOR SCIENCE) have widely variant opinions on which, if either, dimension is most important and many offered formulae for assigning a single dimensionless number computed from the (weighted) dimensions. In the first case, i believe the largest rectal appliance I have ever seen (it was on film, k?) was more properly called a buttplug.
As I write this I now recall seeing inflatable units which might make the entire discussion moot.
“Listen, I think we can all agree that an enormous black dildo is a handy thing to have on hand. But can we come to a consensus on what the best use is for this household staple?”
They come in handy at CPAC conventions or Tea Parties. See West, Allen or Sowell, Thomas and so on.
Ha! Athankee, sir!
I have no use whatsoever of Allen West or Thomas Sowell.
Dad I’d Like to DO.
#
You’d imagine really teensy as they fear the ass-banging so much.
#
Probably like a pile of rabbit pellets.
Have you noticed the decreased width of black dildos? Another inch and you can fit two dildos on the standard household dildo holder. I first noticed a few months back that a single dildo looks ridiculously lonely on the now too-long rod. They’re always sticking to to us in the end, in the end.
Just goes to show, there’s a vas deferens between liberals and conservatives.
I can, however, see that a large, black dildo could be used to crush nuts. After, which, a woman might find another niche for which it could fit.
Listen up you slackers: WHERE’S THE DISCUSSION OF WHETHER THEY ARE OR ARE NOT HUMORLESS? IT IS NOT A TRIVIAL MATTER!
I don’t have a black dildo (checking…nope, _we_ do not have one) but the butt plug makes a fine door stopper.
It was a gag gift! I swear!
“Just goes to show, there’s a vas deferens between liberals and conservatives.”
I see what you did there.
Damned if you dildo, damned if you dildon’t.
Then again, my craps are dainty and ladylike and smell like flowers.
Mine are large and bearlike and smell of seal and National-Geographic-Photographer meat, and yet I am still capable of getting them into the tubes with a single flush.
Also, how do you make pickled bread? Use dildo. Too.
I find this useful for relieving neck pain.
http://www.amazon.com/Hello-Kitty-Vibrator-Massager-Masturbator/dp/B000JO034A
“I find this useful for relieving neck pain.”
Doin It rong.
<i.http://www.amazon.com/Hello-Kitty-Vibrator-Massager-Masturbator/dp/B000JO034A
I’ve heard those are excellent for neck pain.
To dildo or not to dildo: That is the question.
I’m still trying to figure out how this is even possible. The SFGate story claims the water savings from low flow toilets is 20 million gallons per year. SF sewers handle 80 million gallons per day. We’re talking about a flow reduction of less than 0.1%. WTF? Something about this story doesn’t smell right.
Have you noticed the decreased width of toilet paper?
A grateful people thank Big Brother and the Party for increasing the toilet paper width to 12 centimetres.
Something about this story doesn’t smell right.
He who smelt it, dealt it.
The gag gifts are greeted with silence.
“I’ve heard those are excellent for neck pain.”
That’s what she said.
Tag fail. Perhaps I need a neck massage.
“Perhaps I need a neck massage.”
veiled black dildo reference?
veiled black dildo reference?
I don’t discriminate.
Yes, I am Shakespenis! What of it?
Who is goocart?
Who is Goocart Galt?
Who is goocart?
Christopher Marlowe?
“Who is goocart?”
A riddle wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a huge black dildo.
“Who is goocart?”
A riddle wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a huge black dildo.
Also: great for neck massages.
One regrets now having omitted a pun that used the phrase ‘under the cloaca darkness.’ It seemed like too much at the time.
A waste of time (or just waste), they wouldn’t have got it anyway. Or the “vas deferens” one. Their idea of a pun is “Obammy.”
SF has a combined sewer (sanitary/stormwater). It has a capacity of 500 million gallons per day. It’s got catch basins and storage/transport boxes. LEAFS SUCK is currently transitioning from combined and the interceptor works are still quite extensive. The system is designed for highly variable flow. A reduction of 0.1% is less than insignificant.
Even if the issue is solids loading, a flow reduction of 0.1% won’t lead to a solids increase of moar than 0.1%.
This story is full of shit. There’s no way that it’s just low flow toilets causing the stench.
I saw a bumper sticker today that said LOL, with the “O” being the Obama logo. Conservative wit, ladies and gentlemen.
Low-flow toilets use less water. Sometimes you have to flush twice. Two flushes still uses less water. If there is now a problem because of this, then we figure out the solution and fix it. We don’t dismantle everything and let the sewage run down the streets like in Ye Olde Ancient Middle Ages Europe.
This story is full of shit. There’s no way that it’s just low flow toilets causing the stench.
I thought the same thing, too, but I don’t know anything about managing POOP, so I figured I’d leave it to somebody else to call bullshit.
BTW, my favorite toilets are low-flow and have settings for number one and number two. And are hooked up to utilize grey water.
I’m a hippie.
“Their idea of a pun is “Obammy.”
There is a fine line between conservative humor and just being a dick.
There is a fine line between conservative humor and just being a dick.
There’s a line?
“Have you noticed the decreased width of toilet paper?”
I imagine a widening ass will tend to make the TP look narrower over time. And, good eye!
I imagine a widening ass will tend to make the TP look narrower over time.
Then there’s always the goatse effect.
“There’s a line?”
More like a black dildo or Hello Kitty neck massager size line that is getting narrower and narrower as we speak due to all this pinko/green government meddling and hippies who own black dildos suck also.
We don’t dismantle everything and let the sewage run down the streets like in Ye Olde Ancient Middle Ages Europe.
Spoilsport.
We don’t dismantle everything and let the sewage run down the streets like in Ye Olde Ancient Middle Ages Europe.
We sure as hell do if’n it’ll saves me some tax dollars dammitt!!!!!
Okay, did a little looking – Here is a long .pdf
Table 1 on page 7 lists water savings on residential toilets as 3598+3120 acre-feet which is closer to 2000 million gallons per year or a 10% change in flow rate (on a rainless day). This doesn’t count commercial toilets. I’m still sceptical on whether or not this is what’s causing the stench.
Anyways, SFPUC has a short .pdf detailing the multi-component and tiered water bill. It looks like the costs of treating water are on the order of $4 per 100 cubic feet on supply and $7 per 100 cubic feet on discharge (with a flow factor of 90%). Let’s call it $10 per 100 cubic feet.
Annual cost savings in water treatment? $29 million.
Bleach contract? $14 million. Over three years. 80% of which isn’t being used for odour control.
All of which is not counting any benefits from using less potable water. In California.
What was that about common sense again?
We sure as hell do if’n it’ll saves me some tax dollars dammitt!!!!!
preventing cholera is for communists and wusses.
This story is full of shit. There’s no way that it’s just low flow toilets causing the stench.
Yes, and even if it is true that the antiquated sewer system requires lots of wasted water to work, would the “Common Sense” solution be to just shrug and waste it even as the state struggles to provide enough clean water or FIX THE FUCKING SYSTEM?
That said, I’m on board with using a non-bleach method for odour control. I appreciate that it’s a technique SFPUC has experience with and already has equipment installed for, but I agree with these sentiments.
80% of which isn’t being used for odour control.
What do you know. You spell “odor” all faggy and shit.
cholera is for communists and wusses.
Is that kinda like that there arugala stuff?
This thread has gone to shit.
This thread has gone to shit.
Any thread that starts with Surber… well, going to shit is a big step up!
Yeah, why doesn’t he go get married in his stoopit country with the gay marriage, huh? HUH?!?!?
The saddest of possible words: Surber to dildos to shit.
The saddest of possible words: Surber to dildos to shit.
I can’t see Surber as having the balls to play third base.
This is encapsulated in a thumb up the ass.
Yeah, why doesn’t he go get married in his stoopit country with the gay marriage, huh? HUH?!?!?
Yeah, and then he can tell all his “neighbours” about his free health care even if he isn’t in the “labour” force…
“Is that kinda like that there arugala stuff?”
If people ate more arugula, maybe their shit wouldn’t stick in the bowl so much. Just my two cents.
I weep that I am unaccountably busy and cannot participate in this corn-studded, richly brindled floater of a thread.
I find this thread to be firm and well-formed.
We got clean water and a view here in Charleston, W.Va.
Sorry Don but common sense isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. On the bright side common stupidity never lets us down.
We shall know the quality of this thread by its taper.
This golden thread has been spun into some useful fiber.
Okay, I’m going back to work, and the reason is because I googled ‘huge shit toilet’ with safe search off and now I am sorry that I was ever born alive.
No, seriously. Sometimes I’m deliberately baiting you (‘you’ being T&U), but this time I am not. If there is a way to block one particular search from your interweb, this is the one.
I believe Bouffant may have some
inputoutput to share.“What do you know. You spell “odor” all faggy and shit.”
They do it with color and favor too. Another reason to distrust canadians.
Thread needs moar talking toilets.
Also.
I do not want to pee in Mick Jagger’s mouth.
Mr McGravitas may have some apposite panels on hand from “Ed the Happy Clown”.
I do not want to pee in Mick Jagger’s mouth.
You would be surprised how many people do.
This conversation feels like it should be a Riddled entry. I will disappointed if the next entry does not involve pee and/or Mick Jagger and/or interesting toilets.
Helping VS.
Mikey reports:
I’m more than a little disturbed by how much I want to decorate my toilet now. That toilet is too beautiful to pewp in!
See, I dont get Mexican accent at all. I get more deep, resonant…like an esteemed (maybe knighted) actor playing god or Moses.
“You would be surprised how many people do”
Is that wish to or pee in his mouth? Please do not respond to this purely rhetorical question.
SF has a combined sewer
Veiled Cloaca Reference
Tommy Toilet has some wise advice that Surber could benefit from.
Let’s class this place up a bit and turn the discussion to art criticism shall we?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fountain_%28Duchamp%29
I believe Bouffant may have some input output to share.
Never even crossed my mind until you mentioned it. However, I will not lower myself to my level. (Not to mention re-run complaints. Once I get around to the ones w/ the …. never mind.)
When I was very young I thought “toilet water” was an odd thing for people to keep in vials and apply to their faces. When I went to The Toilet, an infamous gay bar In the Village (W. 14th, IIRC) I found even odder things going on.
Points to Snorghagen for Tommy Toilet. Used to have that very poster.
Speaking of Tommy, here’s good Friedman abuse.
This is funny. NYT makes a wee error. I saw it at Making Light, and they got it from Andy Borowitz’s facebook, as per the link. Obviously it has now been corrected and/or removed.
Speaking of Tommy, here’s good Friedman abuse.
That was lovely.
I weep that I am unaccountably busy and cannot participate in this corn-studded, richly brindled floater of a thread.
And yet you managed to pinch off a couple loaflets.
Bouffant’s Friedman link is full of win. A taste:
“You might ask why, since I am in Egypt, I don’t ask an Egyptian – possibly two Egyptians – about what inspired them to completely ignore my theories on the Arab peoples and take to the streets. The answer is this: I am Thomas Friedman and I write a column in the New York Times.”
So much good shit going on here, I’m just dropping by with a bit of as yet undigested food/drink pr0n. This is where I’ll be in a couple of hours.
Enjoy the evening. I’ll try to take notes/photos at the dinner. If anybody is interested, I may just have to go public and provide a link to my blog so you can see them…
As the stupid burns or how the SCOTUS confirmed my right to call Sarah a twat.
http://www.salon.com/news/politics/war_room/2011/03/02/palin_first_amendment/
“This is where I’ll be in a couple of hours.”
Fucker. Waited until you thought it’d be too late for me to get there, eh? Well if it wasn’t rush hour I’d damn well saddle up and make it to Corvallis in 48 minutes. If it wasn’t rush hour. Fucker.
So those are really his glasses?
Well.. not for certain values of “we” and “invoke God’s name” and “public square”. But if the idea is that the Westboro Baptists have more rights than Sister Sarah – I mean, people are ALSO allowed to mention God at a funeral. I have seen this done.
OBS, could you recommend a couple of representative IPAs (or DIPAs, etc) that are from your neck of the woods and really ring your bell (so to speak)?
WWTD?
“we can’t invoke God’s name in public square.”
Remember that time when that guy was pummeled to death by those cops after he had the temerity to say “God bless You.” when someone sneezed?
Good times.
WWTD? = What would Trig do? By the way.
It’s fantastic to see the people Friedman thinks he understands so well mock him so beautifully.
It is true that I am not the only person in the world who formulates dubious theories based on scant or no evidence which I then harangue people with. Other people do it. They are called taxi drivers. But they are not as rich as me and haven’t been awarded three Pulitizer Prizes.
hahaha…
Ok, I’m desperate to find a pic of Thomas Friedman wearing that AWESOME. Leather jacket at Davos. My undying gratitude to anyone who has better luck finding one than I did.
“March 3, 2011 at 3:30
WWTD? = What would Trig do? By the way.”
Ask for a do-over?
I have it on good authority that you only have to learn three things to be a plumber:
1) Shit floats.
2) Water runs downhill.
3) Payday is Wednesday.
Which of these did the city government of San Francisco forget?
“we can’t invoke God’s name in public square.”
Nor can we square god in a circle using only a straightedge and compass.
This is where I’ll be in a couple of hours.
Damn! I need to pay more attention to what is going on around town. Aw hell, I need to write this paper anyway. I knew I should have finished it earlier.
kg, the best stuff out here is the local stuff that you don’t see elsewhere. I know I could get Bridgeport IPA while I was down in AZ, that was my introduction to Oregon beer. The Six Hop Wonder last month at Block 15 was awesome, alas it’s gone now. I’m an Oregon n00b so I’ll let PM and OBS give you better advice.
Mostly lurking this thread. To catch up, I’m going to skim rather than read.
Sorry I missed the discussion of the American and French Revolutions in the last thread. (I seem to be MIA whenever strands occur to which I could contribute.) Fun to read. though; fine commentary (esp. by Snorhagen).
Stay tuned for something of interest later in this thread.
Hey all. Just back from dinner and I’ve gots POOP on my mind. Looks like SFPUC has finally said something about the low flow toilets.
Hey SFPUC! Wouldn’t it also be nice if you mentioned that the number being bandied around regarding water savings was ONE HUNDRED TIMES TOO LOW!!!! 2000 million is moar than 20 million. Please spread the word.
Oops. I meant spread the wourd.
OT: If you like mashups (and who doesn’t?), check out Charlie Sheen quotes as New Yorker cartoon captions.
We know what you’re spreading.
The saddest of possible words: Surber to dildos to shit.
I see what you did there.
N_B: By any chance, did you have to tinker with it very much?
We shall know the quality of this thread by its taper.
Thread has it.
tp://www.google.com/images?q=tapir&hl=en&client=safari&rls=en&prmd=ivns&source=lnms&tbs=isch:1&ei=HwtvTe6jHYTGlQfdr9mUAQ&sa=X&oi=mode_link&ct=mode&cd=2&ved=0CBMQ_AUoAQ&biw=986&bih=970
FYWP, with a Hello Kitty dildo lathered in really painful acid.
Truculent tone of announcement inspired by an esteemed Missourian Sadly.
I am Fenwick, assassin of threads. I have surely killed this one.
The beer dinner was as awesome as I’d hoped. Got to have a nice chat with a couple of the Ninkasi brewery folk too. Sorry I didn’t think to post an alert for my fellow Oregon Sadlies. Next time.
Re: Oregon IPA/DIPA. I like and tend to get the Ninkasi Total Domination IPA a lot, but it’s on tap all over here, and cheap in 22oz bottles at a local store. You may be able to find it. I like Bridgeport’s Hop Czar too, but I think that’s mostly because Bridgeport’s IPA was the first IPA I tried way back when. Deschutes “Inversion” is a decent IPA too. I drink a lot of my own IPA though, ’cause I can make it however I like it.
Believe it or not, my current favorite double IPA is Unearthly from Southern Tier, out of, wait for it….
Lakewood, New York!?!?
If you like “Cascadian Dark Ales” aka “Black IPA” my current favorite one is “Secession” from HUB (Hopworks Urban Brewing) out of Portland.
I also dig Stone IPA and Lagunitas IPA, but they’re not NW beers either. My nym’s misleading — I’m a beer snob, in Oregon, but not necessarily an “Oregon beer” snob. Or really even a snob also too. I’d change my nym, but then I might be confused for some sort of Fenwickian.
Oh, and one more double IPA I love: Ninkasi Tricerahops. Yummers. Have I mentioned I tend to like Ninkasi’s beers?
OBS,
Thanks I’ll have to see which of those are available around Chicago. I’m a huge fan of Lagunitas as well. I’ve got a friend who brewed for Three Floyds several years ago and he would show up at parties with mini kegs of Gumball Head and other tasties. Big fan of their Dreadnaught too.
I’ve got to plug Goose Island. Most of their stuff won’t blow you away but for around 12$/12pack I can drink Honkers Ale all day.
At least y’all can drink beer. Hmph.
Well, I couldn’t find Thomas Friedman in his amazing Davos leather jacket, but I did find this. Which is pretty damn funny. The dudes from The Majority Report P-shopped Chris Hayes (The Nation magazine) into the infamous jacket. Tee hee.
Pressie for T&U: http://www.bradfordexchange.com/products/111524001_michelle-obama-figurine.html
Courtesy of Balloon Juice: Hillary Clinton says something impolitic which most foreigners and many Americans have known for years, but is still nice to hear from someone at the top.
Re: Brooks and Friedman, these assholes have done more damage to the NYT than its collusion with the fuckin government, its uncritical employment of fantasists reporters, paywall, Uncle Tom Cobleigh and all.
I’ll wager more people read the opinion pages than anything else. I know loads of people (‘loads’ being a very deliberate choice of words) read these two, and Friedman’s books keep airport bookstores in business, and Brooks makes up neologisms that are embraced by whoever embraces these things.
But really, the Friedman piece in which he claims Google Earth and the Beijing Olympics led to revolution in the Middle East? It’s so obvious he simply pulled all of that out of his ass. The parody is indistinguishable from the original. At what point, he rhetorically asks, do his editors cock an eyebrow and say, “Tom, old boy, what were you getting at, here?”
He represents, to me, the death of liberal intellectual leadership, the thing Chris Hedges rails against: once it got profitable, the ivory tower thinky-thinkers — who were supposed to be dreaming up the next Great Society — instead discovered they could lay down covering fire for bureaucrats and plutocrats and make stacks of sweet, sweet loot.
In Friedman’s case, he’s also got this excruciatingly obvious trick to inventing columns: he takes a couple of random things, mashes them together, and tries to connect them almost like making sentences out of the words in a crossword puzzle. He probably came up with this in desperation, but eventually convinced himself it was, in fact, his special gonzo way of discovering hidden truths.
I wish he would die.
Pressie for T&U
OOOOH!
I like how it’s a drawing of what the figurine might look like, not actually a photo. I am suspicious.
Courtesy of Balloon Juice: Hillary Clinton says something impolitic which most foreigners and many Americans have known for years, but is still nice to hear from someone at the top.
I saw that. I’m surprised and impressed.
¿Quién es mas macho, Hillary o Obama?
I was a-tweeting that, and then read that delicious Clinton ‘gaffe.’ Amendment, if only it fit in the twatte: A Republican is someone who believes we should turn the clock back fifty years, because then we’ll know what happens next. A Democrat only wants to turn the clock back twenty years.
I’m turning into one of those “I wish it was Hilary” people, but not really. I wish I was living in France.
I’m turning into one of those “I wish it was Hilary” people, but not really
Yeah, me too. At least she has a spine.
And I’d rather be on a deserted tropical island.
kg, The best beer in that region (IMO) is Bell’s Two Hearted Ale. I think it stands up with the best beers in any region.
yes, I’m quite a fan of all things Bells and the Two Hearted Ale (thats the one with the fish on the label I think?) is amazing.
Also, Great Lakes out of Ohio makes some delicious brews.
“What is the largest black dildo currently on the market?”
Ask Mr. S.
Speaking as a plumber, I would like to point out that we use far more water for flushing toilets than we do for drinking. Flushing toilets is ridiculously wasteful in the first place. Doing it with potable water, as opposed to grey water is even more ludicrous.
Grey water and rainwater management are going to make me a LOT of money over the next few decades.
Discounts for sadlynauts and other dirty hippies.