Time to Find Out About The Store’s Exchange Policy…

Senator Robert La Follette, Sr. (June 14, 1855 – June 18, 1925):

“In times of peace, the war party insists on making preparation for war. As soon as prepared for, it insists on making war.”

Admiral Motti:

This station is now the most powerful weapon in the universe… I suggest we use it.

William Rivers Pitt, February 5, 2003:

The fundamental essence of PNAC’s ideology can be found in a White Paper produced in September of 2000 entitled “Rebuilding America’s Defenses: Strategy, Forces and Resources for a New Century.” In it, PNAC outlines what is required of America to create the global empire they envision. According to PNAC, America must:
* Reposition permanently based forces to Southern Europe, Southeast Asia and the Middle East;
* Modernize U.S. forces, including enhancing our fighter aircraft,
submarine and surface fleet capabilities;
* Develop and deploy a global missile defense system, and develop a strategic dominance of space;
* Control the “International Commons” of cyberspace;
* Increase defense spending to a minimum of 3.8 percent of gross domestic product, up from the 3 percent currently spent.

Most ominously, this PNAC document described four “Core Missions” for the American military. The two central requirements are for American forces to “fight and decisively win multiple, simultaneous major theater wars,” and to “perform the ‘constabulary’ duties associated with shaping the security environment in critical regions.” Note well that PNAC does not want America to be prepared to fight simultaneous major wars. That is old school. In order to bring this plan to fruition, the military must fight these wars one way or the other to establish American dominance for all to see.

But, but …the toy that looked so awesome under the 9/11 Christmas Tree isn’t working so well now — why???? It must be the liberals’ fault — they agreed to give the toy but must have included the wrong kind of batteries! that must be it!

Mark Steyn, July 30, 2006:

America has the most powerful armed forces on the planet. The Pentagon is responsible for 40 percent of the world’s military spending, and outspends the next 20 biggest militaries combined. It’s responsible for almost 80 percent of military research-and-development spending, which means the capability gap between it and everyone else widens every day.

So why doesn’t it feel like that?

Wah wah wah.

Truth is, it’s a dangerous toy, the geopolitical equivalent of Lawn Darts. Very risky to have around regardless but especially so in the hands of certain, particularly immature children like, say, wingnuts. And it’s also a fragile toy, a fact that belies its power. It breaks against indigenous resistance movements, a fact that the parents learned when they were kids and took the toy to play with in the swamp. Kids these days would rather play in the sand — with the same result. The toy is breaking (is broken?), and yet the children can’t see that its breaking is their fault. Nope, it must be because someone was jealous, because someone didn’t want them to have fun. Someone at home sabotaged the toy!

It’s long past time to take the toy away. The brats can still play with their plastic soldiers in little miniature dirt wars, making battle plans in the playpens of AEI, but the older-kids’-toys, altogether too expensive and too tempting for grubby little hands, need to be taken back to the store and exchanged for more sensible alternatives (like Legos, say), and the change pocketed into the family’s general account.

I’d also recommend grounding the brats indefinitely because the whole neighborhood is really starting to complain.


Comments: 21


“Don’t be so proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The power to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the force.”
-Darth Vader

If your Star Wars quote draws a parallel between the U.S. military and the Death Star, then what is the even more powerful overforce? Republican incompetence? Gross and ostentatious hubris? A total disconnect from reality? And how does old Ben Kenobi exploit cognitive dissonance to chop off that guy’s arm in the Mos Eisley cantina? Although “these are not the droids you’re looking for” suddenly makes a whole new world of sense using that logic I just invented, right now.


I once put a lawn jart through the roof of my dad’s station wagon by mistake. Oops. Strangely, I didn’t get the Medal of Freedom for it.


Strangely, I didn’t get the Medal of Freedom for it.

You’re onto something there, woodrowfan…


Ah yes, but that means that the current ongoing tragedy in the Middle East is the pit of lava that Anakin, as the GOP, falls into, only to be reconstructed by the Emperor that is Karl Rove!

I, for one, can’t wait to be ruled by the new Darth Bush!

And I obviously need to finish my morning coffee before I read this site, because now I’m trying to figure out who Jar-Jar represents…

“Eesa people gonna die?”
“No, Jar-Jar, we’ll be greeted as liberators.”


Jar-Jar = Joe-Joe (Lieberman)


D’oh! I shoulda seen that. Now I wanna see some photoshops of a mustache on Condo Calriceean…


* Control the “International Commons� of cyberspace;

I knew about the warmongering and all, but the PNAC nuts want to control the internet as well? That’ll be great. It’ll be like being on AOL dialup in 1997 except AOL will have the power to throw you in a secret prison in Egypt.


Sometimes these comment threads are just unbelievabley geeky. This is one of those times.


I’m not even sure what we’re talking about anymore. Except… controlling the Internet tubes is an obvious goal. Everytime another group (country, whatever) tries to reign in U.S. dominance of anything internet related, like ICANN, the U.S. throws a hissy fit. That’s understandable in one way — no one likes to have their control taken away, — but it seems that the people who scream loudest are the ones who have no idea what the internet actually is. It’s Tubes! Someone told me it’s a bunch of Tubes! I didn’t mean Tubes, I meant PVC pipe!!


It’s Tubes! Someone told me it’s a bunch of Tubes! I didn’t mean Tubes, I meant PVC pipe!!

If the durn furriners get ahold of all our PVC pipe, we’ll be stuck with shitty resin chairs for patio furniture.


Once I made a bookshelf out of PVC pipe…



once i made a potato cannon out of PVC pipe…


But the grown-ups are back in charge! I know because the tv told me so.

It sure is a good thing nobody’s having oral sex, just starting pre-emptive wars, which is a much safer alternative for today’s youth.


Another neat thing in that report (which I read all the way through, sadly):

Looking forward to the day when bioweapons can be targeted towards specific familes.

No shit.


PVC piping is plainly a dual use technology.

Prudence Goodwife

“America has the most powerful armed forces on the planet”

And Goliath was the biggest, baddest Philistine so that’s why we all leave here peacefully in Philistania.

Don’t think we won’t get get those damned Liliputians too.

Herr Doktor Bimler

chris p said,
once i made a potato cannon out of PVC pipe…

Weapons of Mash Destruction?
Be very afraid, the CIA has satellite photographs of your PVC pipes.


Watch out – I hear them PVC pipes can be used to enrich yooo-ray-nee-um.

I gots th’ damn yellacake, bitches!


I find that instead of following the recipe, if you add extra vanilla and some cinnamon, the yellowcake is WAY better…


Herr Doktor Bimler

Bloggofascist said,
PVC piping is plainly a dual use technology.

If you shoot potatoes at each other, that would be duel-use technology.


A couple of years ago, my friend’s buddies in Windsor built a potato cannon and lobbed spuds across the river at Detroit. It nearly caused an international incident when the FBI and RCMP got involved.


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