Two Minute Renew America

Arlen Williams: Grover Norquist’s pro-business policies are further proof that he is nothing but a Marxist Nazi Islamist Activist.

Bryan Fisher: Even though I took down my column saying that Native Americans forfeited their moral rights to their tribal lands by having too much extramarital and gay sex, I fully stand behind everything I said in that column.

Gabriel Garnica: I can’t get Fox News on my teevee set.

Selwyn Duke: To all you liberals who think that democracy in Egypt is such a good thing, I have one thing to ask: why are you still in favor of fag marriage after the people of California voted it down?.

Ken Connor: To all you liberals who think that Christians are neanderthals, I have one thing to say: science is complete bunk.

Lloyd Marcus: In spite of what all you liberals are saying, Obama is in favor of eliminating the black race, which is why Obamacare forces all pregnant black women to have abortions.

Sher Zieve: To all you liberals who deny that Obama is trying to install the Muslim Brotherhood as the rulers of Egypt, I have one thing to say: Bill Ayers.

 

Comments: 247

 
 
low sodium hunchback
 

Sheets.

 
 

From Fisher’s second column (after the first one was taken down):

If, however, there is a moral and ethical basis for our displacement of native American tribes, and if our westward expansion and settlement are in fact consistent with the laws of nature, nature’s God, and the law of nations, then Americans have much to be proud of.

PBR Street Gang, this is Almighty. Do you copy?

 
 

If, however, there is a moral and ethical basis for our displacement of native American tribes, and if our westward expansion and settlement are in fact consistent with the laws of nature, nature’s God, and the law of nations, then Americans have much to be proud of.

Now those are some really big IF’s.

 
 

Oooooooo, so many mangoes!

 
 

I dunno. On the face of it these aren’t *particularly* crazy.

Just garden-variety paper-filler from the token right-winger on staff at the local weekly.

Still, I dunno if I’d want to see the comments… that’s where you get to see the rank-and-file sing harmony to the dog-whistles.

-K

 
 

Sher Ziev is a rabid Birther.

 
 

If, however, we ignore all the facts and rewrite history then conservatives can smugly say how we are right and liberals are poopyheads.

 
 

Bryan Fischer sure knows how to set up a straw man, I’ll give him that. Check out where he goes with it: and our president is correct to identify America as the source of all evil in the world

Awesome. I did not know Obama had said that. Maybe I’ll work to reelect him after all.

 
 

Sher Ziev* is a rabid Birther.

*That’s a suspiciously Kenyan-sounding name.

 
 

They’re going after Nordquist now? Where’s that popcorn?

 
 

Exactly how are these small-minded ninnies “renewing America”? What’s their master plan? Jesus and no government?

Wow. I can hardly wait for their utopia [eyes rolling].

 
 

They’re going after Nordquist now?

The teahadists demand he trim his beard until it’s small enough to drown in Reagan’s drool cup.

 
 

Mornin, SD. How’s your fucking hump* today?
RtoaveiledP

 
 

I was all motoring along, watching the shorters go by like fence posts strobing past on one of those endless roads through featureless pastureland, and I was all “nope, nope, nope, nopity-nopity-nope” and then I saw the King of Negro Music all up in there, and I confess I slowed down. In fact I stopped and got out, because what are tropical fruit doing in this prairie environment?

He really is saying all the nigger babies are to be aborted per Obammy’s instructions… and he WROTEN A SONG ABOUT IT. I’m going back for the lyrics. Wish me luck.

 
 

If, however, there is a moral and ethical basis for our displacement of native American tribes, and if our westward expansion and settlement are in fact consistent with the laws of nature, nature’s God, and the law of nations, then Americans have much to be proud of.

Why not just go all the way and call them Untermenschen?

 
 

Norquist has a Muslim wife? And here I thought he was gay. Which right about now would probably be better for him.

 
 

Exactly how are these small-minded ninnies “renewing America”?

Is distributing massive amounts of fertilizer considered “renewing?”

 
 

Why not just go all the way and call them Untermenschen?

A. It’s a suspiciously foreign word.
B. They can’t spell it.
C. They can’t pronounce it.
D. Even though it’s exactly what they mean, they don’t understand it.

Other than that, good idea.

 
 

Andrea’s compelling moving story inspired me to pen a pro life song from a unique point of view. The song is tilted, “Hello Mom, Its Me.” The message of the song is “Thanks for birthin’ me.” http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_6937641

Mammy, don’t make me go bye-bye
Just cause I’m shiny and brown
I know I done fell in the toilet
But please don’t be flushin’ me down

Refrain:
Hello Mom, it’s me, I’m your baby
You thought that I was just a case of gas
You so fat you din’t know you pregnant
But I fell out of your pussy, not your ass.

There’s more, but I unthinkingly poured molten lead in my ears.

 
 

Another shorter Arlen Williams:
Grover Norquist is a communist because he’s pro-capitalist.

At least that’s what I think he’s saying. Williams’ writing style is a sort of blend of Grant Swank and Lyndon LaRouche, so it’s not easy to decipher his burblings, but he seems to think that our corporate overlords are inherently Marxist and treasonous because they do business with foreigners.

I can only hope that this point of view gains traction with the wingnut base. I’m sure the Koch brothers will be delighted.

 
 

” then Americans have much to be proud of.”

Smallpox blankets – BRILLIANT!

Trail of Tears Pride March!

Sand Creek Massacre Annual Celebration!

 
 

PM, hump’s fine.*

*Unveiled reference to veiled veiled reference to VR in which PENIS does not figure, which itself is unusual although not veiled also.

 
 

Smallpox blankets – BRILLIANT!

Be happy it was the 19th century. Nowadays we’d have Lindey Lohan handing out chlamydia blankets.

 
 

Damn you to hell, I paddled over to the FIsher piece, also, too.

A lot is at stake here. If Americans believe that the entire history of our nation rests on a horribly evil foundation, then there is nothing to be proud of in American history, and our president is correct to identify America as the source of all evil in the world and to make a career out of apologizing for her very existence.

He says that. I made up part of the song lyrics, I’ll admit that. Changed one or two words for lulz.
But this here quote is verbatim — and it’s from the fucking retraction for the offensive piece he pulled.

Apparently I have to join the cavalry, ride a horse into an injun camp, kill all the braves, fuck the squaws to death, and set the chilluns ablaze in order to bring the luster back to America’s reputation.

 
 

How can we promote this Arlen Williams fellow and get him to catch on in the mainstream? Sounds like he could be a useful idiot.

 
 

Chlamydia Blankets — worst Old West stripper EVAR.

 
 

Chlamydia Blankets — worst Old West stripper EVAR.

I disagree.

 
 

What are you gals jawin’ about?

 
 

I’m here, ladies!

 
 

“Which results should we believe? Which theories should we place our faith in? These are not questions that the scientific community likes to wrestle with publicly.”

Imbecile.

 
 

Which results should we believe? Which theories should we place our faith in?

Phlogiston. The theory that keeps on giving.

 
 

Which theories should we place our faith in?

I do not think somebody understands how a theory works. Faith isn’t usually a major factor.

 
 

I do sincerely believe that the best thing we can do to “renew America” is send all these toad humpers back where the come from.

If, however, there is a moral and ethical basis for our displacement of native American tribes, and if our westward expansion and settlement are in fact consistent with the laws of nature, nature’s God, and the law of nations, then Americans have much to be proud of.

There isn’t, despite the self-serving imperialist horseshit embedded in “natural law” and the “law of nations” (now they want to drag our legal system all the way back to the early 16th century?!?), so hang your racist head in abject shame.

 
 

I do not think somebody understands how a theory works.

Yup. It explains a lot about the “clap harder and cut taxes” sort of approach the cons have to everything, though, doesn’t it?

 
 

Did I miss the clapping?

 
 

Why not just go all the way and call them Untermenschen?

You know who else admired the western expansion/ethnic cleansing of the US, so much he thought it was a good plan for the eastward expansion of his own country?

 
 

Did I miss the clapping?

Probably. Their hands are so soft and flabby it just makes a quiet sort of thb thb thb noise.

 
 

VfapR

 
 

Xecky –

I have a pretty high tolerance for grotesqueries, and you’ve managed to nauseate me.

Congrats, man.

 
 

You know who else admired the western expansion/ethnic cleansing of the US

Andrew Jackson.

 
 

You know who else admired the western expansion/ethnic cleansing of the US, so much he thought it was a good plan for the eastward expansion of his own country?

Napoleon?

 
 

> Which results should we believe? Which theories should we place our faith in?

Currently accepted theories?

Is this a trick question? Was I supposed to say discredited theories?

-K

 
 

You gals step aside and let a manly man show you how ta entertain his fellow cowpunchers.

That’s right fellers, ain’t nuthin’ under this gunbelt but my pistols. Yee haw!

 
 

You know who else admired the western expansion/ethnic cleansing of the US

Arturus Pendragon, Kynnge of Wales?

 
 

Is this a trick question? Was I supposed to say discredited theories?

Just one, Young Earth Creationism.

 
 

Which theories should we place our faith in?

Relevant.

 
 

Arturus Pendragon, Kynnge of Wales?

Worst Renaissance Faire stripper name EVER.

 
 

Pupe –

Good toon, but AiG?

 
 

I just noticed that the link I found for that comic goes to answersingenesis.org. That’s sweet.

 
 

Yes oh Not Baron Lord, using iPad so I just copied the first one I found.

 
 

I just noticed that the link I found for that comic goes to answersingenesis.org. That’s sweet.

Perhaps they are just trying to “teach the controversy.”

 
 

Got some blood stains on your white there, pardner.

 
 

Hat, that is.

 
 

Got some blood stains on your white there, pardner.

The kind that not even 500 years of whitewashing and bleach will remove.

 
 

Regardless of your political view of abortion, forcing taxpayers who morally oppose abortion to fund them is beyond arrogant, evil and down right tyrannical.

Not only do I agree, I think there should also be a DOD tax exemption for conscientious objectors, a highway tax exemption for people who don’t want to build highways, and a tax exemption for New Yorkers and Californians who are tired of their money subsidizing rugged, individualist red states who should be pulling themselves up by their manly bootstraps.

Marcus, you and I should talk, I think this idea has real potential.

 
 

The kind that not even 500 years of whitewashing and bleach will remove.

You underestimate the power of intentional amnesia when powered by stupidity.

 
 

A. It’s a suspiciously foreign word.
B. They can’t spell it.
C. They can’t pronounce it.
D. Even though it’s exactly what they mean, they don’t understand it.

I LOL’d, very substantially.

 
 

Do read their response to the comic. It’s amusing for the sheer idiocy and wrongness and how desperately they need to shore up their “faith.”

 
 

a tax exemption for New Yorkers and Californians who are tired of their money subsidizing rugged, individualist red states who should be pulling themselves up by their manly bootstraps.

A. I agree.

B. Veiled OW THAT REALLY HURTS reference.

 
 

I LOL’d, very substantially.

You’re looking for Mr. McGravitas, third door on the left.

 
 

If, however, there is a moral and ethical basis for our displacement of native American tribes, and if our westward expansion and settlement are in fact consistent with the laws of nature, nature’s God, and the law of nations, then Americans have much to be proud of.

Masterpiece of plausible deniability. He’s basically telling his audience “our westward expansion and settlement are in fact consistent with the laws of nature, nature’s God and nations, and we have much to be proud of.” While framing it as a debate so that officially, he never actually said any of that. And they say Dems are the wafflers.

 
 

Also in response to a comment in the last thread, I am not looking to start a blog at this time, but thank RRA for the offer.

 
 

From Arlen Williams, re: Norquist:

>>That is not because of his marital relations, but because he is married to unbalanced transnationalism.

Wonderful. I can’t legally marry my partner of 15 years, and Norquist gets to marry a Mooslim AND unbalanced transnationalism. It ain’t fair.

 
 

I guess if you can declare war on a military tactic, you can marry a socioeconomic theory.

 
 

Williams’ writing style is a sort of blend of Grant Swank and Lyndon LaRouche, so it’s not easy to decipher his burblings, but he seems to think that our corporate overlords are inherently Marxist and treasonous because they do business with foreigners.

Whoever taps the “it’s China’s fault that our jobs are being destroyed and they’re also trying to take over the world and they’re an eebil dictatorship so FUCK CHINA!” vein is going to have a golden opportunity to revive populism, methinks. Both economic and identity-based.

Yeah, everyone says bad things about China during election campaigns, but that all tends to go away the moment the election’s over. If anyone were to have a really sustained anti-China platform, I mean. I think that would resonate with a ton of people.

 
 

I can’t legally marry my partner of 15 years

TEH FAGGORTZES!!!! Either that, or you’re doing 20 for armed robbery.

 
 

“Williams’ writing style is a sort of blend of Grant Swank and Lyndon LaRouche”

Reading Gabriel Garnica for the first time, I see that he too has a Swankish style. Do all conservatives begin with ‘Swank’?

 
 

I kilt it, the thred. I plaid guilty.

 
 

No kidding. Mr Thread, he dead.

 
 

Do all conservatives begin with ‘Swank’?

Swank is the primordial lord at the center of the modern conservative movement, just like the giant brain in a Wrinkle In Time. Only in this case it’s probably a giant fart cloud.

 
 

our westward expansion and settlement are in fact consistent with the laws of nature, nature’s God, and the law of nations

I see you people have already scored all the good Lebensraum references.

 
 

Another shorter for the Fischer column:
“If you think the human rights enshrined in our Constitution was a good idea, then you must also support the genocide of the American Indians. Love it or leave it, bitches.”

 
 

Do all conservatives begin with ‘Swank’?

Rhymes with “Wank” so it’s a pretty good fit.

 
 

laws of nature

Don’t litter, no sleeping on the picnic tables.

nature’s God

Pan

the law of Nations

Prohibition. Carrie Nations that is.

 
 

Is it naive of me to think that the answer to “Which theories should we believe?” is “The ones best supported by available evidence”? Does believing that mean I have ignored “natural law” and “God’s law”?

 
 

The pathetic American Pravda marches on

…but enough about News Corp.

 
 

From Sher Zhieve:

Obama-Google’s “head of marketing for the Middle East Wael Ghonim…

Obama-Google?

I’ve been wondering for the last five minutes what she could possibly have meant by that. Probably four minutes too long.

 
The Renewed Variants
 

Why not just go all the way and call them Untermenschen?

A. It’s a suspiciously foreign word.
B. They can’t spell it.
C. They can’t pronounce it.
D. Even though it’s exactly what they mean, they don’t understand it.

Other than that, good idea.

Applies to Lebensraum too. (N_B: Like Chris, I laughed muchly.)

BTW, we told Ralph that his name for the band sucked. We tried it yesterday and the rest of the guys hated it. Ralph is now in sulking mode. Anyway, we’re going back to The Variants. We have been renewed. And–like American history–we are oh-so-much shinier now.

 
 

//Obama-Google?//

Pretty sure Google is now in Obama’s pocket. At least, this is the new winger talking point. Next week they may go back to Soros (or really, all rich Jews, since they obviously are under Obamas Muslin power)

 
The Renewed Variants
 

I am not looking to start a blog at this time, but thank RRA for the offer.

Oh, shoot! Whenever I read something like your 19:02, I think “This guy is a natural for blogging!” Then I remember what you said a couple of weeks ago about how you feel comfortable with reacting, but not-so-much about generating material. Alas, I had such high hopes for jumping in with another Noob Blogger. So no more pressure, just plenty admiration.

BTW, Joey thought Chlamydia Blankets would be a good name. I threw a tennis ball at him.

 
 

> Grover Norquist is a communist because he’s pro-capitalist.

It’s the old Skousen logic again. He managed to plagiarise a piece of paranoid rambling from the Nazis and make it make even less sense, by leaving out the crucial link.

Essentially, the original reasoning goes: All capitalists are Jews and all Jews are communists, therefore all capitalists are communists. But the modern adherents of this theory leave out the J-word, at least in public.

 
 

It must be difficult for these folks in such a crowded marketplace. The race for the brass ring (totes heterosectionally) of lunacy leaves no space for the weak of out-of-mind. And the established loons Beck, O’rielly and Limbaugh will be stamping on their fingers all the way up the Tower of Babble until they get to the top where they are greeted as “Brothers-in-arms”.

 
The Renewed Variants
 

God, this is sad. Get some help.

 
Lucy The Wonder Dog
 

After reading Arlen Williams’ little essay, I can better understand the appeal of Sarah Palin. Apparently “word salad” is an actual language spoken by folks who call themselves “conservatives.”

 
 

scroll troll tests his powers.
~

 
The Renewed Variants
 

I’m reminded of those young Egyptian men in Liberation Square, who bravely stood their ground during the night assault. I’m not going to be driven away from this thread either. Stand your ground, folks.

And stay positive: We’ve got a new addition to our cast of characters. In the future, Gary won’t have to carry such a heavy load all by himself.

 
 

Kill button is so effective. and saves space

 
The Renewed Variants
 

OTOH. I’m still a n00b. I’ve never been in a thread under assault from a disturbed person. How do veterans recommend dealing with this? Wait it out without posting?

 
 

Just ignore it. Get a mouse that scrolls, if need be.

If one stops posting, Herc-the-Jerk wins.

 
 

OTOH. I’m still a n00b. I’ve never been in a thread under assault from a disturbed person. How do veterans recommend dealing with this? Wait it out without posting?

Usually, Tintin or someone cleans it out, at least that’s how I remember it going last time.

I’m weirded out to be reading “down with America, up with China” here. Dude, we’re far-left Hitlerite Commuslimunist America-hating DFHs who want to destroy America, haven’t you heard? Go post this on http://www.pajamasmedia.com, where people are actually True American Patriots who’d take offense at this.

 
 

From Arlen Williams:

While he does not lead with it, behind the curtains, he and his fellow brokers of grass-roots activists’ power and twenty-five dollar checks, pull levers in favor of as many globalist trade agreements and policies for the fictitiously extranational status of American-licensed corportions as one can count.

The fact is that I haven’t got a clue what the fuck this is about. “Twenty-five dollar checks”???
“Corportions” Portions of corn???
What the fuck are they doing behind the curtains??? Hawt Buttsecks??/
I must confess that the general feeling I get from this is to lock the doors and hide behind the couch.

 
 

I must confess that the general feeling I get from this is to lock the doors and hide behind the couch.

I too felt the sudden need for a pillow fort.

 
The Renewed Variants
 

Don’t knows the Kill button. When the person first showed up, there was a lot of discussion and tips on how to set it up and use a Kill feature. But it was all w-a-y beyond my comprehension. (Lord, I don’t even know what RSS is or how it works.)

Can someone give me a clear, easy-to-understand, step-by-step Cookbook Recipe for setting up a Kill button? So easy that even a totes Luddite can follow it?

Also, out of curiousity: Couldn’t our S,N Lords & Masters pull the plug using their arcane powers?

 
 

Kill button is so effective. and saves space

Dancing badgers are a nice touch as well. Much more informative as well.

 
 

Essentially, the original reasoning goes: All capitalists are Jews and all Jews are communists, therefore all capitalists are communists. But the modern adherents of this theory leave out the J-word, at least in public.

Yeah, it’s similar. Williams seems to be saying that since mega-capitalists have business interests outside of US borders, they are cosmopolitan one-world quasi-Marxists who can’t be trusted not to betray our Sacred American Values. It is sort of like old-fashioned anti-Semitism with the Jews removed.

But it’s strange to see conservative anti-capitalism popping up on the utterly business-fixated American right.

The fact is that I haven’t got a clue what the fuck this is about.

I get the impression that Williams did a lot of bad acid in his younger days.

 
 

It’s a pain from the iPad so I won’t get too detailed here…

Get the kill script, grease monkey etc. You can adjust the LOGORHEA warning size by poking into the script. Kills scroll trolls dead. It occasionally inflicts friendly fire on some long winded comments (I did not even mention Chris by name … Oops) but they are revealed with just a click.

I use it in FFox and Opera and I think it works in Chrome. Safari and Internet Exploder are out of my aa of sexpertise.

 
 

Variants. KILL,KILL,KILL will get rid of that poster’s comments

 
 

What variety of browser are you using, Variants? I’ll try to lead you though it if I can.

FYI, banning here is eschewed, only done as a last resort. And this troll is just annoying, not threatening. Disemvowelling, OTOH, strikes me as a proper next treatment. Also BLART.

 
 

BLART BLART BLART is good

 
The Renewed Variants
 

I too felt the sudden need for a pillow fort.

I have geezer eyesight. I read this as ‘pillow fart’. Thought it was some Hip Code and went to the Urban Dictionary.

Also, I threw another tennis ball at Joey.

 
The Renewed Variants
 

Thanks ever so much, Pup!

Alas, I use Safari. But I do have a fast-scroll wheel on my mouse. I think I’ll just endure it for the time being.

Also, too, and moreover, I hope it’s okay to shorten yer nym to Pup. It seems doubly-right after I saw the photos of yer Good Pooch.

 
 

Variants. KILL,KILL,KILL will get rid of that poster’s comments

How do you do it? Where do you put it?

 
 

While not as amusingly named, I prefer disconsonantting.

 
 

Where do you put it?

KILL, KILL, KILL goes in your pussycat.

 
 

KILL, KILL, KILL goes in your pussycat.

I thought Faster went there.

 
 

I thought Faster went there.

And another myth promulgated by Eric Clapton is debunked.

 
 

nm…I’m googling it myself.

 
 

nm…I’m googling it myself.

I mean the info, not my pussycat.

 
 

No, Pussycat does KILL,KILL,KILL. And jolly weel.

 
 

The essay about Norquist was just bizarre. How exactly is a small, non-interventionist, laisser faire government supposed to prevent cross border trade and offshoring? Does the guy not even know his own ideology?

 
 

weel = We exceedingly exceed lycanthropy

 
 

OK, I’ve installed Greasemonkey and the S,N killfile. How do I access the kill list?

 
 

Restart FF, reload the page, and “kill” should appear after the time.

 
 

You gots (kill) beside each posters name on the page?

 
 

OK, “kill” was there and now “kill’ isn’t.

Pup, I’m on Firefox.

 
The Renewed Variants
 

Kiwi: Thanks for the link. I’m going to study it carefully and may try using it. (I have a serious fear about downloading anything. Deadly, irrational fear of viruses.

VS: I like the chain-of-songs game at Chez Babcock! I think it would wonderful weekly feature. Suggestion: Perhaps NOT a Friday game, or it might bleed off from S,N Random Music Friday?

I wanted to play and tried to. Alas, like yesterday, I was unable to get a post through the Internets Toobz to your site.

Fudge. Taken together, the Kill button and my inability to get posts through to other Sadlies’ sites have plunged me into despair and self-loathing.

*long pause*

FFFFFfffffff-utt. Much better now.

 
 

But it’s strange to see conservative anti-capitalism popping up on the utterly business-fixated American right.

Renew America is more of a Catholic theocrat site. Capitalism is no good because it’s post-Enlightenment, & God approves of feudalism

 
 

Also, it’s easy to change the dancing badgers – cute cute badgers! – to dancing Hitlers if you should want to do that. I’m just saying.

Heh. iPad autocorrect Is suggesting, when I type “Hitler”, “HITLER”. Isn’t that odd.

 
 

All right. Fuckin’ did it. Myself. Asking people never seems to help.

 
 

“Pup, I’m on Firefox.”

But Snidely/Ralph whoever that is is not. You think it’s all about YOU?

 
 

” Fuckin’ did it. Myself.”

VMR

 
 

HERCULE TRIATHLON SAVINIEN,

I have been alerted me to your posts, and after reading them I feel sure that you would fit in very well here at http://whatreallyhappened.com/

Please contact me @ wrh at whatreallyhappened.com and we will discuss adding you to the blog.

Mike

 
 

Capitalism is no good because it’s post-Enlightenment, & God approves of feudalism

And Protestant, also too.

 
 

Uncertainty tends to undermine authority, after all. Perhaps this is why some scientists go to such extreme lengths to preserve the integrity of their pet theories, even to the point of manipulating or falsifying data or suppressing information that doesn’t support their desired conclusion

Change every “scientist” to “religious fundamentalist” or “wingnut” and you have the truth.

 
 

Hey! What the hell happened to preview?

 
 

You think it’s all about YOU?

IT’S NOT?!!!!!!! *runs away sobbing*

 
 

The Williams bit makes me wonder if the aim is to spout enough drivel that the reader gives up trying to make sense of it and will simply accept on faith whatever premise is offered ‘cuz that smart-talkin’ is makin’ mah hayd hurt. Might even work on the “too fucking stupid to read a Cheerios box” crowd.

Fischer. Holy fuck. Where does one even begin?

Why not just go all the way and call them Untermenschen?

Yeah, reading the original post I got the impression that there was something very familiar about this.

Chris said pretty much exactly what went through my head upon finishing the Marcus screed. You bastard.

That’s plenty of mangoes for me, thanks very much. I need to go vomit them up like the land did those pesky Canaanites.

 
 

Hey! What the hell happened to preview?

Still there for me. The lying bitch. Fuck you Preview.

 
 

Yeah I got Preview. FWIW!!!

 
 

We didn’t have preview when I was a kid.
~

 
The Renewed Variants
 

As everyone knows,I never ever get out of the boat.

But if–just supposing–I were to get out of the boat, which of the Seven Dwarves has the bestest mangoes (rotten though they may be)?

 
 

Renew America is more of a Catholic theocrat site. Capitalism is no good because it’s post-Enlightenment, & God approves of feudalism

Aha. Catholic theocrats… I forgot about that particular strange subset of wingnuts. OK, that makes a little more sense, insofar as Williams could ever make sense.

 
 

I thought the thread had gone apeshit, but it was just one post.

 
 

Here — if we’re doing word salad and posting acres of bullshit, this is one I can’t quite put on my writing blog because it’s a little more off-color (so to speak) than the folks at home are accustomed to. So I’ll debut it here.

How To Write Humor

Humor is a difficult thing to master, especially in its written form. What might be hilarious when witnessed in person, such as a dump truck crushing a paraplegic, doesn’t seem funny at all when written down. You had to be there. In the same way, a joke that sends the audience into paroxysms of laughter when heard aloud can seem altogether unfunny before the reader’s eye. Nuances of inflection and timing cannot be conveyed on the printed page. It is for this reason that humor does not always age well. Here’s a typical joke popular on the Vaudeville stage from the late 19th century: “What happened when Sambo looked up his family tree? A gorilla defecated on his hat.” It’s much funnier if told in a Baltimore accent, as intended. This can scarcely be conveyed in writing.

Actually there are some other reasons that’s no longer considered funny. Maybe I’ll come back to this point with a better example.

So how can we best write for comic effect? I will lay out some simple rules of comic writing that can help anyone to pep up dry, expressionless prose with the sparkle of laughter.

1. Look for opportunities to mine humor from what you are writing, rather than adding in jokes that require interrupting the flow of your narrative. Here is an example of a joke crudely inserted into some otherwise bland text:

It was chiefly a savage hand-to-hand fight across the breastworks. Rank after rank was riddled by shot and shell and bayonet-thrusts, and finally sank, a mass of torn and mutilated corpses; then fresh troops rushed madly forward to replace the dead, and so the murderous work went on. Guns were run up close to the parapet, and double charges of canister played their part in the bloody work. When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar! The opposing flags were in places thrust against each other, and muskets were fired with muzzle against muzzle. Skulls were crushed with clubbed muskets, and men stabbed to death with swords and bayonets thrust between the logs in the parapet which separated the combatants.

You see right away how the humor merely interrupts the narrative. Compare that to the following, in which the humor is woven skillfully into the text, emerging in a natural, seamless way from the subject matter:

And therwith spak this clerk, this absolon,
Spek, sweete bryd, I noot nat where thou art.
This nicholas anon leet fle a fart,
As greet as it had been a thonder-dent,
That with the strook he was almoost yblent;
And he was redy with his iren hoot,
And nicholas amydde the ers he smoot.
Of gooth the skyn an hande-brede aboute,
The hoote kultour brende so his toute,
And for the smert he wende for to dye.
As he were wood, for wo he gan to crye,
help ! water! water! water! help , for goddes herte!

In summary, farts are always comedy gold, so write about farts, if possible.

2. Humor often comes from the unexpected juxtaposition of images or ideas. Look for opportunities of this kind when you are writing. Sometimes it will be an amusing malapropism that presents itself; at other times it will be some absurd aspect of the matter itself. If, for example, you are writing a letter to a friend, and it contains an otherwise unamusing passage concerning your arrest by a policeman for urinating in a public fountain while you were on holiday in Rome, you might note the comical expression of surprise on the face of a stone putti surmounting the fountain, or you might note that you irritated the policeman a great deal by using the Italian expression “rompere le palle a qualcuno,” which means literally “to break the testicles.” In this way your friend will wonder if you struck an officer of the law in the groin, but will soon recall the vulgar phrase has two meanings — it also refers to making someone upset — and then undoubtedly laugh heartily at your sly wit.

3. It is also effective to use a humorous ‘voice’ when writing. By this I do not mean to adopt an entertaining dialect, such as the drunken Irishman, but rather to look for opportunities to craft your very prose in a manner infused with comical effects. The following is an example of a humorous anecdote:

There was a common Victorian crime in which urchins would rob cheese warehouses by the expedient of introducing superheated air into the storage area, causing the cheese to melt and run into the yard, where the young scamps would collect it into buckets. This required methodical study of the layout of the buildings, the comings and goings of the cheese makers, and the routes of entry and escape.
It is from this activity we get the expression “casein the joint.”

Faith, but ‘tisn’t a true story, begorrah. In fact, the correct expression is “casing the joint,” a slang term for reconnoiter, based on criminal study of an intended target: lingering around doors, stairs, and windows, all three of which are ‘cased’ in the architectural sense. But through the uproariously funny use of a pun, which is the similarity of the words ‘casing’ and ‘casein,’ or milk protein, a constituent of cheese, the joke is achieved. In fact, no such criminal enterprise as melting-cheese theft has been recorded. So the entire amusing story exists merely in support of the word play at the end. What fun! That is humor entirely for its own sake.

4. Humor can be quite funny, but it can also make people angry. Then, although it is humor, it will be regarded with distaste. So be aware of the audience at which the humor is aimed. If you are writing an article for a Catholic publication, jokes involving promiscuous clergy might not be acceptable, but money-grubbing Jew jokes might be received very well indeed. A joke that wouldn’t be considered dirty in a brothel, prison, or queer bath house could seem altogether off-color when told to small children. So it’s important to understand the intended readership for your writing.

In fact, the joke I cited above, in which a gorilla moves its bowels, is inappropriate for many audiences because it contains racist stereotypes of a type that has caused untold misery and division in our society. I’ll probably replace it, as my writing is not read exclusively by white supremacists. So heed this advice: nip the humor that might gook up the chinks in your writing.

5. Finally, always remember there’s a time and place for humor in general. If you are composing a bus schedule or the directions for care and operation of an electrical appliance (an electric knife, for example), humor may not be an appropriate ingredient to add to the mix. Writing, after all, is very much like baking a cake. You must gather and measure the required ingredients, make sure the oven is heated to the proper temperature, and that you bake the batter in the correct size of cake pan for a suitable period of time as indicated in the directions, which I hope I am clear were being followed all this time. The recipe, I mean. As you also have a writing recipe, or plan, or outline. To write something in which humor is introduced inappropriately is much like baking the cake at the wrong temperature, or rather ingredient in it, or words recipe, so that if there’s too much it will overflow and not bake, or taste is wrong for reading. Then is bad cake writing. But if it is a time of funny cake put in the words recipe for laughter.

PUT THAT IN YOUR HYPERLOQUACIOUS HAT.

 
The Renewed Variants
 

We didn’t have preview when I was a kid.

Hmmpf! We didn’t have computers when I was a kid. We also walked three miles to school, barefoot in the snow, uphill all the way (in both directions) in the teeth of a howling blizzard, and under constant attack for velociraptors.

 
 

I WIN!!! THE INTERNAZZ ARE MINE!!!

 
 

I forgot to format the italics in. Figure out which parts are quotations and add them in using your mind.

 
 

Three things:

I get down to the end of the guy’s copy-paste marathon and I’ve forgotten what BRIC means. Not a good strategery, bubba.

Also, I keep thinking the guy’s nom de annoyance is Hercules Grytpype-Thyne and think to myself “You silly, twisted boy, you”, which is probably only funny to me, as I’m one of maybe 10 Americans who even know who The Goons were.

Also finally, on the “What Really Happened” site, there’s a picture of the (I presume) What Really Happened guy dressed as a superhero. That is never a good sign. It’s like calling yourself the “conspiracy god”.

 
 

Also, too, my brilliant jest of yesterday got worked in there. My hump is avenged.

 
 

Ok, I went to all that trouble to install that kill file…then remembered I spend copious amounts of time on my mobile devices. My queendom for an author-filtering app.

 
 

Matt, I have the entire extant Goon canon in a single, mighty MP3 file. To which you might well say, sapristi. /Spike Milligan fanboy rant

 
 

if we’re doing word salad and posting acres of bullshit, this is one I can’t quite put on my writing blog because it’s a little more off-color (so to speak) than the folks at home are accustomed to.

Keep multiple blog sites. I have three: one for public consumption, one for public consumption wherein “public” doesn’t include Momma, and one for very private consumption. The mere fact that I don’t update any of them isn’t really relevant here.

Also, very funny. However, I’ve found the best answer to the question, “Robert, how do I write effective humor?” is generally “Don’t bother”.

 
 

I have the entire extant Goon canon in a single, mighty MP3 file.

That’s… beautiful, man. Ying tong tiddle I po.

 
 

One acknowledges Goon humour, Moriarty.
Spengler, have a check of the internetz serial numbers. Some unscrupulous Nigerian persons have been circulating fake internetz.

 
The Renewed Variants
 

Spengler, you are indeed the Author of God.

I seldom write humor–only a few short stories long ago–but I recognize when I’m in the presence of a Master, and I honor you, sir. Should I ever try humor again, I’ve copied your exegesis and will follow your recommendations most rigorously.

Also, I’m looking forward to Rise Again, now the fourth book in my reading queue.

 
 

Kiwi, mine is #3. I’m kind of surprised it’s such a low number.

Variants, if it’s not at the top of your queue, the battle wagon will not come to your town. You will have to fight the zombies alone.

 
 

The column generated so much intense, vitriolic and profane reaction

My, my. Considering he had 2 (Count Em!) comments at the Rightly Concerned site, and no reaction at his twitter account, Bryan seems to be a bit of a pushover if criticised.
I’m thinking that the AFA shat a 30 lb papoose when they got a load of his ranting and decided to give him a “profane reaction” and pulled the article.

 
The Renewed Variants
 

You will have to fight the zombies alone.

My plan is to run away. Far, far away.

 
The Renewed Variants
 

[Mad As Hell!!] — Hercule

Ironic, isn’t it?

 
 

Is it too late to regret getting out of the boat? Is Bryan Fischer a total tool? Answer the second question first.

 
 

I get down to the end of the guy’s copy-paste marathon and I’ve forgotten what BRIC means.

Verb, trans., when object is brac.

 
 

Sometimes when you are baking a cake, it becomes very funny if you subsequently leave it out in the rain.

Also, if I were Hilary Swank I’d trademark my name, then make the Pastor change his.

Furthermore, does anyone think that Grover Norquist ever takes a bath? I suspect he only showers. Hmmm. I am picturing him in the bath tub right now.

You know how it’s good to buy clothing that isn’t made by underpaid small people in Southeast Asia? Well, I just bought a bunch of cotton underpants made by exactly those people. Thank you, underpaid people. And you should totally earn more. It’s just that I don’t know another source for affordable cotton knickers. If you ever want to make my underpants and sell them to me directly, I would be happy to open negotiations.

What? I’m off-topic? Shut up.

 
 

I just bought a bunch of cotton underpants made by exactly those people.

There’s your problem. Never get your panties in a bunch.

 
 

Sometimes when you are baking a cake, it becomes very funny if you subsequently leave it out in the rain.

Particularly for Angelinos.

 
 

There’s your problem. Never get your panties in a bunch.

Hee, I set you up nice, huh? You’d think a softball that slow would just kind of roll half-heartedly over the plate.

 
 

Also, I keep thinking the guy’s nom de annoyance is Hercules Grytpype-Thyne and think to myself “You silly, twisted boy, you”, which is probably only funny to me, as I’m one of maybe 10 Americans who even know who The Goons were.

Have a gorilla.

 
 

There MUST be a televised showdown, at least a full hour, with Hercule Savinien and Glenn Beck face-to-face, having a full-throated argument about which one of them has drawn the correct Risk map-of-the-world-as-it’s-about-to-be, with Savinien’s BRICs against Glenn Beck’s Russia-And-Maybe-The-Netherlands-Empire, and all that good stuff.

There MUST be. I demand it.

 
 

Holy Hannah.

Herpaderp Tricorn Sanitarium up there is pretty far gone.

I only see the short ones, thank the logorrhea filter, but that’s puh-lenty.

 
 

Also, Hercules, does your name owe anything to the play Cyrano de Bergerac? (Main character’s full name being Cyrano Savinien Hercule de Bergerac)?

 
 

> *The [NZ] New Zealand, by far, the most important sub-member of the [BRIC]s in the New orld-Wide [21st] Twenty-First Century political order!

New Zealand? They’re the Canada of Australia!

You’re a goof Hercule… and God help you if they ever levy a tax on […]s

-K

 
 

Do NOT dis Risk. It taught me a young age that Siberia – and Irkutsk in particular – is the key to world domination. Now that I’m married to a Siberian…

 
 

Hmmm. I am picturing (Grover Norquist) in the bath tub right now.

No good will come of that.

 
 

DOWN WITH [GB] GLENN BECK, IMPERIAL STOOGE!

Now that, I endorse. Right on, brother.

 
 

No good will come of that.

It reduces the ipecac budget.

 
 

I was hoping Substance McGravitas would be here today. I wanted to thank him for giving me a little help.

 
 

HERCULE TRIATHLON SAVINIEN said,

February 14, 2011 at 2:30

Wait. Is Rugged In Montana back?

 
 

Hmmm. I am picturing (Grover Norquist) in the bath tub right now.

No good will come of that.

Wait for the exciting conclusion, predicted by Grover hisself!

 
 

OK, Hercules, but I’m still curious whether your name has an origin in literature.

 
 

If people run away due to trollism, the terror trolls will have won. You know that, yes?

Although maybe y’all are running away due to suppertime. I think there may be an awards ceremony of some sort or another, too. Fortunately I am living TV-free at the moment.

 
Morbo the Annihilator
 

Now, perhaps my memory fails me, but I don’t quite recall liberals passing the bong and saying, “Well, the people voted for the measure, so we have to accept it, dude.”

DEMOCRACY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!

 
 

If Gabriel Garnica’s take on the media seems a bit out there, consider that it may be magical realism, like in Cien anos de soledad (sic).

 
 

Wait for the exciting conclusion, predicted by Grover hisself!
Surprise ending.

 
 

What? I’m off-topic? Shut up.

Ladies undergarmets are never —

Hee, I set you up nice, huh? You’d think a softball that slow would just kind of roll half-heartedly over the plate.

Gack.

 
 

we were recieving a signal from across the border on our [AM[ radio station broadcasted from the Michigan Province of the [Empire]

Ahem, Canadian cousins.

 
 

What does “gack” mean, in this context? Should I be embarrassed?

 
The Renewed Variants
 

rodertrudis: Thanks for the (partial) identification.

Others: I agree with Bouffant’s earlier recommendation (and others since then). Don’t engage. (I’m looking at you, Chris. No matter how curious you are about the name’s origin….)

Converse about him (or her), if you like. Spengler and I had an interesting discussion in the last thread.

Or just rollercoaster along on other strands in the usual Sadlynaut fashion.

BTW, I’m planning a music link within a longish Comment. It will be absolutely brilliant, of course. It will also be the bestest ever music. It may even broaden the music horizon of some younger Sadlies.

I will exit promptly after posting, being unable to bear the scorn about music in the Cretacious and the snark about my musical taste (which in my mouth).

I will read them tomorrow.

 
 

Music is good. It is rhythmic and melodic, in varying proportions, and often there are words. Sometimes music is ear-wormy, which is unpleasant, but it passes. I am in favor of music. As soon as I get my new underpants, I will turn up the music and dance to it. Everybody is sooooo concerned about Herculblah, and no one seems to be the least inclined to talk me down, OMG I hate you all.

 
 

Should I be embarrassed?

No, “Gack” would be one of the sounds I make when I’m embarrassed, which isn’t too often.

 
 

Is it because I wrote a sentence that included the words soft, ball, roll, and slow? I dint mean nothin serious by it.

 
 

I made M.Bouffant gack. Huh.

 
 

Please Larkspur enough talk of underpants. We must plan our inauguration.
There will be sparkly ponies!!!

 
 

we were recieving a signal from across the border on our [AM[ radio station broadcasted from the Michigan Province of the [Empire]

Between the radio stations
A coded message heard

 
 

wow, sher AND lloyd all in one post…i am sooooo tempted to get off the boat…i will be right back…morbid curiosity…must jump off boat…

 
 

okay, i’ve only gotten this far with lloyd abortion obsessed liberal democrats

correct me if i’m wrong, but isn’t it the wingnutters that keep bringing this up? like every day?

 
 

wholesale. buy em by the case.

 
 

As soon as I get my new underpants, I will turn up the music and dance to it.

OK, this is unpleasantly mindful of a certain Scientologist.

 
 

I thought the magic underpants were more a Latterday-Saints preoccupation.

 
 

Whose raggedy-ass underwear did I just pull out of the dog’s mouth? Cuz damn.

They appear to be Chinese made.

 
The Renewed Variants
 

Clyde: Ooooooooo. That was so v-e-r-y fine. After I post this, I’m leaving directly to find the lyrics and listen again.

Musical tastes are moving targets in this community. That (@4:19) was dead-center bullseye with me. It is a perfect illustration of the kind of music I like.

(I love watching women’s bodies, especially in movement. There’s that also.)

No hyperbole, Clyde: I liked that cut more than anything I heard on Random Music Friday or since, excellent though some of them were. Thanks again.

 
 

and no we don’t believe in Quebec Independence, that’s just another front for the [CIA] Central Intelligence Agency, they are working with the [QB] Quebec Bloc, you can count on it, to fund a Blue Revolution to separate Quebec from the [CC] Canadian Confederation to further [Empire] American-Israeli Empire Spheres of Influence.

Poor De Gaulle would be crushed to know he supported a CIA cause.

 
 

oh. my. god. (omg) gabriel garnica (gg) is a humongous dumb ass (hda).

 
 

I just wrapped up a two day stint working for the Museum of Sex. It was less exciting that I hoped, but I did learn quite a lot about the contributions of Joe Shuster, Theodor Geisel, Charles Schultz, and Bob Montana to the field of pornography.

 
 

After years of molar-grinding, I finally gave in & got Greasemonkey, along with the SN killfile. Eat it, trolls! YAY!

Yeah, Greasemonkey sure looks awesome – except that it doesn’t do jack. Reopened FF & got bupkiss. No “kill” option, & yes, everything is enabled, & yes, refreshment has occurred – as has some very sincere Anglo-Saxon vernacular. Okay, now I’ve also got the Burdizzo script & will try that instead.

*SHAZZAM!*

[ cue: sad trombone ]

Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop raping, looting & pillaging.

Silver Lining: my unsubmitted n00b boo-hooing all magically comes right back when I close FF & reopen it? WHOA.

 
The Renewed Variants
 

Good writing, too.

Then amidst the noise of a thousand people’s talk
There came a cry “It’s The Night of The Hawk”

((Lyrics matter to me: Some songwriters have had an important influence on my writing. Imagery. Word manipulation. Story-telling. Bob Dylan, for exampled, influenced me as much as any fiction writer.))

Also there’s the whole ‘night hawk’ thing. I’ve always been a Night Hawk It’s my peak time. Worked nights at the radio station. Worked nights at the Field Station. Wrote my scripts at night. I like the ‘timeless’ hours: No moving shadows as a reminder of the passage of time. Far fewer sounds to remind you, either. At night I lock into what I doing, immerse myself completely.

(And the painting is among my favorite modern works. Also that.)

One last digression: I’ve decided to hold off on my Longish Music comment. I’ll save it for later…maybe the next Random Music day.

It’s getting late, and I’m double-shifting at the Library tomorrow. Only four hours, but a very demanding four hours, requiring careful attention to many minute details.

This thread has been fun to read. I hope Hercule gets help.

 
 

this grover also knows no good comes of bath tubs…

 
 

Paybacks are a bitch*.
___________
* Scroll down to “Lawsuit Over Video” … looks like somebody just got served.

 
 

wholesale. buy em by the case

are these really made out of baby’s ribs? cuz that just sounds uncomfortable…

 
 

correct me if i’m wrong, but isn’t it the wingnutters that keep bringing this up? like every day?

No, he’s right. Every morning when I wake my heart surges with joy as I breathlessly whisper to myself: “Today I’m having an abortion.” Then I curse my boy parts and resolve to hand out more pamphlets to my female coworkers. Do you know, that selfish bitch Jenny Perez has gone three years without a single abortion? And the Supreme Court says that there is nothing I can do about it!

 
 

Paybacks are a bitch*.

i had been hearing bout the first part of jim’s link from mpr today…i was happy to hear bachmann and pawlenty did dismally in straw poll, but was equally chagrined by such an out pouring of ron paul love…but it could have been the paint fumes, too…also…

 
 

my heart surges with joy as I breathlessly whisper to myself: “Today I’m having an abortion.” Then I curse my boy parts

perhaps a pair of undies made out of baby’r ribs would make you feel better?

 
 

chagrined by such an out pouring of ron paul love

Replace “out pouring of ron paul love” with “poll-freeping stampede of fanatical Paultards” & you’ll be dead-on. Voting for Teh Doctor O’ LOVE was the only reason they all went to CPAC to begin with.

The Charge Of The Light-Headed Brigade!

 
 

perhaps a pair of undies made out of baby’r ribs would make you feel better?

I have a vision for the ad! Chili’s baby back ribs. Victoria’s Secret angels. Snickers: Hungry? Why Wait? Gerber Baby.

 
 

http://www.simplehelp.net/2007/11/14/how-to-run-greasemonkey-scripts-in-safari/

All the installing went fine, to all appearances. GreaseKit shows ‘SN Killfile’ in my Safari menubar, but there are no buttons or anything to actually execute a kill order.

Do I need to be adding strings to a killfile somewhere? The help does not mention how this actually works. The comments in the .js file imply I should be seeing some buttons…

(Running Safari 5.0.3 on OS X 10.6.6; I keep my FF at home configured separately, and sandboxed, for reasons I won’t post here…)

(Also, run meticulously updated FF on meticulously updated XP Pro at work, with NoScript and ABP, so I expect ‘SN Killfile’ will work OK there.)

Should S,N! have a separate, open thread for test posts and technical help, or is that too organized??

 
 

the entire extant Goon canon

can be expressed in one statement:

I love Popeye!

 
 

i did not know walt whitman was teh ghey…i just found this out on history international on a show devoted to civil war smut and what not…

 
 

Mr. Breitbart said in a statement that he “categorically rejects the transparent effort to chill his constitutionally protected free speech.”

What is it with these people that they can’t understand… fuck, anything.

I have the right to wave my fist around, too. That right stops at someone else’s nose, though.

There are slander laws for a reason. They are constitutionally valid. Fuck off, Blartblart.

 
 

What is it with these people that they can’t understand… fuck, anything.

oh, they understand, alright…it just doesn’t apply to them…also, blartblart is a phenomonal tool…

 
 

I did learn quite a lot about the contributions of Joe Shuster, Theodor Geisel, Charles Schultz, and Bob Montana to the field of pornography.

I really did not need to think about star-bellied sneetches doing DP.

 
 

Fuck. Train? Best duo or group single?

Gimme a f*cking break.

 
 

Sry, watching on DVR-delay.

MadonnaLady Gaga is hatching out of an alien egg… brb.

 
Illuminati Repton
 

Ok, I’m over the new troll now. That shtick gets old fast.

 
 

Where did Lenny Kravitz’s hair go?

 
 

Justin Bieber and Fresh Prince Jr. are more tolerable at 16x playback speed. You can barely see the posing.

OMG. We were tired of OMG last summer.

 
 

Tom Petty, Jeff Beck, Neil Young and Pearl Jam lost out to Muse? WTF?

Also: Lady Gaga is wearing ass armor, and appears to have d4’s implanted under the skin her forehead.

 
 

It’s been a long day so I’m trusting the shorter.

And I’m not going anywhere near Selwyn Duke, because that’s an anagram for Weedy Slunk.

 
 

Damn. Bob Dylan’s voice was never euphonious, but tonite his voice sounds like moldy coffee grounds.

 
 

Well I gotta go to bed. I have to say, the only performance that impressed me so far, 90 minutes in, was Jennifer Hudson’s.

And while he sounded like hell, Dylan looks great.

Oh, my. Muppets and a Black Elton John… Cee Lo Green. And Gwyneth Paltrow — who looks hot, too. Wearing +1 Stiletto heels. Fun.

OK, on that note, it’s off to bed. Mrs. bughunter will watch the rest.

 
 

FIRST!!!

A friend of mine directed and performed in the muppet bit. That’s all I know.

 
 

I am planning an IPO for The Great Trans-Africa Canal Zeppelin Company! It’s money for old rope! Who’s with me??

 
 

Is it still 11XX Sadly Time?

 
 

Hercules Grytpype-Thyne and think to myself “You silly, twisted boy, you’

I live just down the coast from Bexhill – on – Sea

 
 

i’ve said it before, and ill say it again, you people’s workrate is amazing…

apologies if anyone else has mentioned it, but I do love the rework of the renew America with the st georges cross, knights, etc….

sorry, but simple things make me happy this morning….

 
 

Who you calling “people?” Who you calling “people?” There ain’t nobody else in here…

 
 

Krugman explains the Republican budget proposal fairly well.

The answer, once you think about it, is obvious: sacrifice the future. Focus the cuts on programs whose benefits aren’t immediate; basically, eat America’s seed corn. There will be a huge price to pay, eventually — but for now, you can keep the base happy.

If you didn’t understand that logic, you might be puzzled by many items in the House G.O.P. proposal. […] Once you understand the imperatives Republicans face, however, it all makes sense. By slashing future-oriented programs, they can deliver the instant spending cuts Tea Partiers demand, without imposing too much immediate pain on voters.

I know how stupid it is to look at the past and long for the days when people were more honorable and all that, but sometimes you’ve got to wonder. Have we ever had people in charge who fucked the country this deliberately and this completely before now?

 
 

but tonite his voice sounds like moldy coffee grounds.

Hmph. My coffee grounds never sing to me.

 
 

The nutters are counting on an angry backlash. They’re also counting on being able to focus it in the direction they want, and leverage it to gain permanent power. When you look at it that way, their tactics make a twisted sort of sense.

But I think they’re in for a nasty surprise.

 
 

vs, then you aren’t putting the right stuff in your coffee.

 
 

vs, then you aren’t putting the right stuff in your coffee.

This actually gives me the perfect opportunity to ask this question: OK, alcohol is a depressant, right? And caffeine is a stimulant, no? So, when you make a drink like an Irish coffee or a vodka and Red Bull cocktail, aren’t the ingredients fighting each other? I mean, what kind of high do you get from them? I’ve always wondered about that.

 
 

The nutters are counting on an angry backlash. They’re also counting on being able to focus it in the direction they want, and leverage it to gain permanent power. When you look at it that way, their tactics make a twisted sort of sense.

See, I don’t even think they’re thinking that far ahead. I think they’re just trying to get elected now and enjoy the power (and guarantee soaring profits to their corporate overlords) now, and don’t really give a damn about what’s coming down the line. Intellectually, I’m sure some of them realize the bill will have to come due, but as long as it’s not in their time, they don’t really care. In the long run… you know the rest.

It’s the same MO as a tycoon who takes over a corporation, milks it for all it’s worth, builds himself a golden parachute, jumps ship and leaves “someone else” to deal with the mess he left.

 
 

Wait, you said “the nutters.” Okay, point. There probably are a few psycho ideologues, mostly in the Tea Party Movement, who’re dreaming of crashing the system and replacing it with their weird fascist/objectivist utopia.

Whether they succeed or not is irrelevant, though: the people financing them will have gotten what they want either way.

 
 

Not News: Some Flake running for Senate.

vs, some folks like to mix their speed and their painkillers. Look at Belushi. I personally like my alcohol as pure as I can get it. Maybe some vanillins and other hints from the barrel it’s mellowed in, but that’s about it.

Chris, ya, there are a lot like that, but think about Norquist and a few others. You’d be making a mistake if you underestimated them…

 
 

Speaking of Super Grover, Frank Gaffney is still a-feudin’ with him.

Shorter Evil Bert: “Norquist married a mooslim woman, in order to enable the Muslim Brotherhood takeover of CPAC.”

 
 

Finally, Sherrod serves blartblart with a suitsuit at CPAC. Go, Shirley, go!

Shorter Big Bay Tentpole: “Seven months is too long to wait to file suit. I call timesies. Watch me smear another lie-beral.”

I can’t wait for this asshole to be administered some cool, objective justice. But you know, he’ll probably function just fine in a minimum security prison, which is about the worst he’ll ever see. Most likely just a slap on the wrist and then a lifetime post at a right-wing rag where he can spend the rest of his career whining about how he was abused by the man.

Oops, the Milk of Magnesia is kicking in. Excuse me while I go take a Breitbart.

 
 

Chris, ya, there are a lot like that, but think about Norquist and a few others. You’d be making a mistake if you underestimated them…

Grover “Drownen Sie diesen Government in ein bathtub für mein Vaterland, ja!!” Norquist? Good point.

Shorter Evil Bert: “Norquist married a mooslim woman, in order to enable the Muslim Brotherhood takeover of CPAC.”

It’s just so freaking arbitrary. Reagan sold weapons to an actual terrorist mooslim regime and no one says a damn thing, it gets excused as a noble humanitarian-motivated gesture to free hostages. Norquist marries an innocuous Muslim and whack, he’s a terrorist.

Also, I love the fact that CPAC, a hotbed of radicalism just a few years ago, is now considered RINO territory by more than a few teabaggers. The revolution continues to eat its young.

 
 

Big GAY Tentpole – corrected

 
 

I mean, what kind of high do you get from them? I’ve always wondered about that.

I will begin my comprehensive campaign of testing this question post-haste. For SCIENCE!

 
 

what kind of high do you get from them?

At a watering hole I favored in Oaxaca there would occasionally be an Irish agronomist. He would drink half mezcal and half espresso. By his third one it would be impossible to get in the proverbial edgewise word. On his fifth he would be in full on bardic babble. It didn’t look all that fun especially compared to delicious mezcal with an ice cold Montejo chaser.

 
 

Chris,

Krugman:
“By slashing future-oriented programs, they can deliver the instant spending cuts Tea Partiers demand, without imposing too much immediate pain on voters. ”

Add, and no pain, now or ever on Tea Partiers since most will be dead when the pain finally arrives.

 
 

Have we ever had people in charge who fucked the country this deliberately and this completely before now?

Sadly, yeah.

1929 – it was deliberate, & it very nearly tore America’s guts out for good. Also, just like 2008, even though the ugly truth came out as to who did the deed & how premeditated it was, nobody important even went to court for it, let alone did any time.

 
 

The answer, once you think about it, is obvious: sacrifice the future.

“Can we win the War On Tomorrow for God, Mom, baseball & America, my friends? YES! YES WE CAN! Tomorrow is powerless to stop us from destroying it forever … but only if we take up our gas-cans & our torches so we can begin the arson NOW, while time is still on our side! USA! USA! USA!”

 
 

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